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Funk Thompson

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  1. Your friend has his arm ripped off by a shark (who is inexplicably swimming through grass) and just snaps it back on (after a brief, hilarious freak-out.)
  2. Low level allies: Steve from marketing and his jack Russell terrier Mid level: A squad of marines High level: Foxbat Next: "Plan A"
  3. Asked you a question I didn't need you to reply Is it gettin' heavy? But they'll realize Is it gettin' heavy? Well, I thought it was already as heavy As can be Is it overwhelming To use a crane to crush a fly? It's a good time for Superman To lift the sun into the sky 'Cause it's gettin' heavy Well, I thought it was already as heavy As can be Tell everybody Waitin' for Superman That they should try to Hold on Best they can He hasn't dropped them Forgot them Or anything It's just too heavy for Superman to lift Is it gettin' heavy? Well, I thought it was already as heavy as can be Tell everybody Waitin' for Superman That they should try to Hold on Best they can He hasn't dropped them Forgot them Or anything It's just too heavy for Superman to lift ----- Flaming Lips - "Waiting for Superman." The saddest happy song I know
  4. "A complication that doesn't complicate / hinder the character is not worth any points." But to play on the theme.... It turns out, Cancer is the leading cause of cancer.
  5. To Moscow I came seeking fortune But they’re making me work til I’m dead The bourgeoisie have it so easy The Tsar’s putting gold on his bread The people of Moscow are hungry But think what a feast there could be If we could create a socialist state That cared for the people like me: I am the man who arranges the blocks That descend upon me from up above. They come down and I spin them around Til they fit in the ground like hand in glove. Sometimes it seems that to move blocks is fine And the lines will be formed as they fall - Then I see that I have misjudged it! I should not have nudged it after all. Can I have a long one please? Why must these infernal blocks tease? I am the man who arranges the blocks That continue to fall from up above. Come Muscovite! Let the workers unite! A collective regime of peace and love. I work so hard in arranging the blocks But the landlord and taxman bleed me dry But the workers will rise! We will not compromise For we know that the old regime must die. Long live Lenin, kill the tsar! We salute the sickle and star! I am the man who arranges the blocks That continue to fall from up above. The food on your plate now belongs to the state A collective regime of peace and love. I have no choice in arranging the blocks Under Bolshevik rule, what they say goes. The rule of the game is we all are the same And my blocks must create unbroken rows. Long live Stalin! He loves you! Sing these words, or you know what he’ll do... I am the man who arranges the blocks That are made by the men in Kazakhstan. They come two weeks late and they don’t tessellate But we’re working to Stalin’s five year plan. I am the man who arranges the tanks That will make all the Nazis keep away The Fuhrer is dead, and Europe is Red! Let us point all our guns at the USA. We shall live forever more! We can start a nuclear war! I am the man who arranges the blocks That are building a highly secret base. Hip hip hurrah for the USSR! We are sending our men to outer space. I work so hard in arranging the blocks But each night I go home to my wife in tears - What’s the point of it all, when you’re building a wall And in front of your eyes it disappears? Pointless work for pointless pay This is one game I shall not play. I am the man who arranges the blocks! But tomorrow I think I’ll stay in bed. The winter is cold, I’ve got plenty of gold And I’m standing in line for a loaf of bread Maybe we’d be better off If we brought down Gorbachev I am the man who arranges the blocks That continue to fall from up above. The markets are free! So much money for me! Tell me, why should I care for peace and love? The markets are free! So much money for me! Tell me, why should I care for peace and love? Peace and love, peace and love! And now the wall is down, the Marxists frown There’s foreign shops all over town When in Red Square, well don’t despair There’s Levi’s and McDonald’s there The US gave us crystal meth And Yeltsin drank himself to death But now that Putin’s put the boot in, Who’ll get in our way? So we reject free enterprise And once again the left will rise. Prepare the flags to be unfurled For we’re seceding from the world: We shall regain the Georgian soil We shall obtain the Arctic oil We shall arrange the blocks and toil Forever and a day. Game over. ----- Pig With the Face of a Boy - "Complete History Of The Soviet Union, Arranged To The Melody Of Tetris" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWTFG3J1CP8
  6. A Series of Unfortunate Events - just re-watched over the last few weeks with the gal that comes over to help with the girlfriend's daughters. She's as much of a book-nerd as my girlfriend, and hadn't seen it but had read some of the Lemony Snicket books when she was younger. Absolutely brilliant show.
  7. Oh, sure, it isn't like all conservatives support him and all liberals don't; though the number of liberals supporting this is likely single-digit. I'm on many forums with tons of conservatives or libertarians or right-leaning independents who hate what they see happening just as much as I do. But on most every other forum I frequent, there are at least a handful defending and praising his every move.
  8. I have to say, after a time away, and I could be wrong... but it is so very refreshing to find that the political thread here on HEROGames.com seems... almost completely devoid of anyone defending the current moving train wreck we find ourselves "led" by.
  9. I wore my boots out walkin' Poured my heart out talkin' I felt the pain & I broke the chain But I still got a long way to go Been on the road till tomorrow Been through the joys & the sorrows Came through the flood & I pulled through the mud But I still got a long way to go Been in the back-room dealin' Been on a long hook reelin' Crashed in the shed & I woke in a sunny bed & I still got a long way to go Been on the rails & big muddy I've crossed the trails rocky & rutted Been down the road a million miles But I still got a long way to go I've traveled near & traveled far I beat a hole in my guitar Crawled with the zeroes & I stood with my heroes & I still got a long way to go Been in the rain & on the run I worked a long day in the sun I slopped the pails & I beat the nails But I still got a long way to go I tried the a verse as the be verse I took the see verse to the chorus Rewrote & changed it Then rearranged it & I still got a long way to go I lost my way in darkest night I woke again & saw the light Opened the book & I . . took a look But I still got a long way to go Tell me what . . . what is the soul of a man? He's got to reach up his hand Tell me what . . . what is the soul of a man? He's got to reach out his hand & I still got a long way to go Still got a long way to go Still got a long way to go ----- Railroad Earth - "Long Way to Go"
  10. We were shootin' at a mound of dirt. Well nothing was broken, nothing was hurt. But I probably really should have been at work. But if my free time's gone, would you promise me this? That you will please bury me with it? Please bury me with it! Well sure as planets come, I know that they end. And if I'm here when that happens, will you promise me this my friend? Please bury me with it! I just don't need none of that Mad Max bullshit. Well the suit got tight and it split at the seams. But I kept it out of habit and I kept it really clean. But if it's getting' faded, if it's runnin' outta thread, Could you just do this for me my friend? And please just please bury me with it? Please bury me with it! Well we moved to the left and moved to the right. And sure as hell we stayed out almost every single night. But if the party's over, if the fun has to end, could you do this for me my friend? Would you just please bury me with it? Please bury me with it! Good news for people who love bad news. We've lost the plot and we just can't choose. We are hummingbirds who are just not willing to move. And there's good news for people who love bad news. We are hummingbirds who've lost the plot and we will not move. We have good news for anyone who loves bad news. We were aiming for the moon. We were shooting at the stars. But the kids were just shooting at the busses and the cars. So don't drink the water, don't you breathe the air. If it's gotten to that point then I have to declare: That you please bury me with it! Please bury me with it! Well fads they come and fads they go. And God I love that rock and roll! Well the point was fast but it was too blunt to miss. Life handed us a paycheck, we said, "We worked harder than this!" Please bury me with it! Please bury me with it! We are hummingbirds who are just not going to move. And there's good news for people who love bad news. We are hummingbirds who've lost the plot and we well not move. We have great news for anyone who loves bad news. Modest Mouse - "Bury Me With It."
  11. I mean, that's an option, but just a WWI-equiped falconer would work very well in my setting
  12. Death Tribble has a debilitating phobia of sweater vests. (Infrequent, Total.)
  13. I want to stat that character for the latter era of my Steampunk setting
  14. It's been 50 years or so. I'm sure it is possible he migrated.
  15. Some take the bible For what it's worth When it says that the meek Shall inherit the Earth Well, I heard that some sheik Has bought New Jersey last week 'N you suckers ain't gettin' nothin' Is Hare Rama really wrong If you wander around With a napkin on With a bell on a stick An' your hair is all gone... (The geek shall inherit nothin') You say yer life's a bum deal 'N yer up against the wall... Well, people, you ain't even got no Deal at all 'Cause what they do In Washington They just takes care of NUMBER ONE An' NUMBER ONE ain't YOU You ain't even NUMBER TWO Those Jesus Freaks Well, they're friendly but The shit they believe Has got their minds all shut An' they don't even care When the church takes a cut Ain't it bleak when you got so much nothin' (So whaddya do) Eat that pork Eat that ham Laugh till ya choke On Billy Graham Moses, Aaron 'n Abraham... They're all a waste of time 'N it's yer ass that's on the line (IT'S YER ASS THAT'S ON THE LINE) Do what you wanna Do what you will Just don't mess up Your neighbor's thrill 'N when you pay the bill Kindly leave a little tip And help the next poor sucker On his one way trip. . . SOME TAKE THE BIBLE. . . (Aw gimme a half a dozen for the hotel room!) Frank Zappa - "The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing."
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