Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Weldun]

Hey Drhoz, what ruleset are you using for your Shadowrun game? I'm thinking of starting a campaign using Cyber HERO updated to 5.5 (5th ed with some stealing from 6th ed). Any thoughts?

I can answer that for you, BlueCloud. (For the curious, it is I who plays Inkubus.) We're using the Shadowrun 4th edition ruleset, mainly because it's the most up-to-date set that we have a large number of books for and the GM is running through a large number of the splat-book adventures. Although he did an excellent job of winging it at the end of our last session, so I look forward to the occassional home-brewed adventure.

[Mjolnir74]

I can answer that for you, BlueCloud. (For the curious, it is I who plays Inkubus.) We're using the Shadowrun 4th edition ruleset, mainly because it's the most up-to-date set that we have a large number of books for and the GM is running through a large number of the splat-book adventures. Although he did an excellent job of winging it at the end of our last session, so I look forward to the occassional home-brewed adventure.

 

Although, I would imagine there is a bit of conversion going on.  Some, if not all, of the adventures you are playing are from first or second edition Shadowrun.  Fourth edition timeline starts at 2070, so you guys are about 20 years behind (2052, I think).

[Weldun]

Although, I would imagine there is a bit of conversion going on.  Some, if not all, of the adventures you are playing are from first or second edition Shadowrun.  Fourth edition timeline starts at 2070, so you guys are about 20 years behind (2052, I think).

Indeed there is, fortunately myself and another player have been playing Shadowrun since 1st edition, so we're pretty good at being able to help the GM update things on the fly. Which is good because we play Inkubus and Labrat. The two characters who are arguably most responsible for running the game off of the module in question's rails.

[Drhoz]

Hey Drhoz, what ruleset are you using for your Shadowrun game? I'm thinking of starting a campaign using Cyber HERO updated to 5.5 (5th ed with some stealing from 6th ed). Any thoughts?

4th Ed. Mostly because Weldun has all the books. No point asking me about system though, I am HOPELESS at game mechanics

[ghost-angel]

From Bunneh's saturday night game during the recap from the previous sessions:

 

GM: The part split up to search for clues

Player: We Scooby Doo'd the sh-- out that.

[TheQuestionMan]

I gave away all my 2nd and 3rd edition Shadowrun books, novels, along with a few 5th edition core books.

 

I ran Shadowrun for 12yrs off and on, but played a grand total of 15 sessions. I never was short of players' but always short of GM's.

 

I kept all my electronic sourcebooks though. Including Shadowpunk (Shadowrun Hero)

 

I wanted to play damn it.

 

QM

[Houston GM]

we play Inkubus and Labrat. The two characters who are arguably most responsible for running the game off of the module in question's rails.

 

Having played the same modules, I think our team was more successful at running some of those modules off the rails.

 

Drhoz previously described your version of DNA/DOA (linked here), which we also ran ... or started to.

 

The module derailed as follows ...

 

The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.

 

Dent: ork, rat shaman

No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer

Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist

Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic

Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems

Happy Jack: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator

Mr. Johnson: generic name used by/for secretive employers who hire shadowrunners

Alamos 20,000: a murderous, anti-metahuman organization

 

The team met at No-Step's safehouse one morning in response to a frantic text.

 

Happy Jack: (arriving with the rest) "What's up No-Step?"

No-Step: (obviously stressed) "Nothing." (he holds up a note for them to read)

No-Step's note: "I'm being blackmailed! Alamos 20K has my mother! They're making me carry a bug/tracker!"

 

The bug/tracker was quickly resolved ... since standard operating procedure was to turn every safehouse into a farraday cage.

 

According to No-Step's blackmailers, the team was going to be offered a job that evening. After completing the job, No-Step was supposed to turn the data over to the hostage-takers, rather than Mr. Johnson. To make matters worse, the captors apparently intended to use the data to create an anti-metahuman bioweapon.

 

Dent: (to No-Step) "What's the big deal. You know what your mother looks like, right?"

No-Step: "What kind of stupid question is that?"

Eye Spy: (muttering to herself) "Sheesh. Not all of us do."

Dent: "I didn't mean that literally. You've assenced her. Seen her aura."

No-Step: "Yes...."

Dent: "Piece of cake. I'll show you how to find her."

 

Dent, a rules-lawyer at heart, gave a step-by-step primer on how to track her using watcher spirits and overcome every conceivable obstacle ... while the GM planted his head on the table.

 

By early afternoon the team had rescued No-Step's mother and taken a dozen Alamos 20,000 members captive.

 

Dent (ooc): Why did you abduct No-Step's mother? This would have been more challenging if you'd done it to one of the unawakened.

GM: He was the only one I was sure would care about his immediate family.

Byte Force: "Everybody keeps telling me that I have to have a family somewhere. Given the state of modern reproductive science and cloning technology, I just think those people are old-fashioned luddites."

Happy Jack: "My parents threw me out of the apartment when I was 14. I wouldn't have minded so much, except we lived on the third floor."

Audacity Jane: "My older brother and I fought when we were kids. He didn't survive."

 

 

The hostage-takers were correct about one thing. That evening the team was offered a job. Mr. Johnson's assistant drove Happy Jack (disguised as his alter-ego, Jonathan Bridges) to the meeting.

 

Mr. Johnson: "Anything I tell you has to be kept absolutely secret by you and your team. If any word of this datasteal gets loose, I will know who is to blame."

Jonathan Bridges: "Your name is Mr. Walker, isn't it?"

Mr. Walker/Mr. Johnson: (looking stunned) "..."

Jonathan Bridges: "You're about to offer us a job to steal genetic research from one of the big eight megacorps?"

Mr. Walker: "What? How...?"

Jonathan Bridges: "I'm afraid word of this run has already gotten loose, and I'm absolutely certain my team wasn't to blame."

Mr. Walker: "..."

Jonathan Bridges: "Besides you, who else knew the details of this run?"

Mr. Walker turns and looks at his assistant, who bolts from the room.

Jonathan Bridges: (over his comlink) "The pigeon is flying. It's my chauffeur for the evening."

 

Mr. Walker raced after the assistant, followed by Jonathan Bridges / Happy Jack. The assistant managed to escape in the elevator ahead of them.

 

Jonathan Bridges: "For 50,000 nuyen my team will scoop him up as soon as he hits the street."

Mr. Walker: (sputtering) "That ... that ... that's an outrageous price!"

Jonathan Bridges: (shrugging) "Secrets are expensive. And right now, you don't know how many of yours he compromised."

Mr. Walker: "..."

Jonathan Bridges: "If you have a second team sitting outside the building, feel free to call them for a competing quote. Otherwise, your window of opportunity is going to last as long as an express elevator ride."

 

After the assistant was captured, Mr. Walker still tried to hire the team for the shadowrun. He refused, however, to pay the asking price of 1 million nuyen, half up front. The team figured it was a fair price, since word had already leaked that Aztechnology was the target ... and that our team was being approached for the run.

 

Presumably Mr. Walker hired another team of suck... I mean shadowrunners ... to complete the job.

 

No-Step: "What are we going to do to the thugs who were holding my mother?"

Eye Spy: "Sell them to the ghouls. Everybody needs to eat."

Audacity Jane: "Sell them to the organ-leggers. They pay better."

Eye Spy: "And they sell the scraps to the ghouls."

Happy Jack: "Some of them may have family members who are willing to pay to have them returned alive."

Byte Force: "That's risky. Lone Star may try to set a trap for you."

Happy Jack: "They'll be setting a trap for the kidnappers. I'll be offering my services to the families as a professional ransom negotiator."

Byte Force: "They pay you to negotiate a ransom with us? Twisted."

No-Step: "I hate to interrupt your greed, but I'm not agreeing to let those monsters walk away scott free."

Dent: "No problem. I'll rip a bunch of incriminating evidence from their minds. Turn it over to Lone Star anonymously, and they'll never go free."

No-Step: "what if Lone Star ignores it?"

Byte Force: "I can also send a copy to their Alamos 20K buddies. They'll kill them just to keep them from talking to Lone Star."

[Drhoz]

 

Having played the same modules, I think our team was more successful at running some of those modules of the rails.

 

Drhoz previously described your version of DNA/DOA (linked here), which we also ran ... or started to.

 

No-Step: "What are we going to do to the thugs who were holding my mother?"

Eye Spy: "Sell them to the ghouls. Everybody needs to eat."

Audacity Jane: "Sell them to the organ-leggers. They pay better."

Eye Spy: "And they sell the scraps to the ghouls."

Happy Jack: "Some of them may have family members who are willing to pay to have them returned alive."

Byte Force: "That's risky. Lone Star may try to set a trap for you."

Happy Jack: "They'll be setting a trap for the kidnappers. I'll be offering my services to the families as a professional ransom negotiator."

Byte Force: "They pay you to negotiate a ransom with us? Twisted."

No-Step: "I hate to interrupt your greed, but I'm not agreeing to let those monsters walk away scott free."

Dent: "No problem. I'll rip a bunch of incriminating evidence from their minds. Turn it over to Lone Star anonymously, and they'll never go free."

No-Step: "what if Lone Star ignores it?"

Byte Force: "I can also send a copy to their Alamos 20K buddies. They'll kill them just to keep them from talking to Lone Star."

 

 

Beautiful - I HAVE to hear more of your teams adventurers

[Drhoz]

Hired to help a small dragon find his memory and some revenge, the team have already solved 3/4 of the mystery without leaving the hospital room. Psychometry and Mindprobe are wonderful things. Of course Inkubus is going to have to swear a geas not to reveal all the other secrets he pulled out of the dragon's head, but that should probably wait until the room ISN'T full of doctors and Tri-D technicians. Either way, that bracelet he's paying us with is a clue. Is it the same one Inkubus saw on Tri-D star Maria Mercurial?

Titus: Well, there's an easy way to check
Inkubus: ... well, I got to hand it to the troll.

As mentioned earlier, Psychometry is a wonderful thing.

GM: I'm trying to get you to go to a jeweller's shop!

GM: I'm never letting a character have Psychometry again
Greenlight OoC: I can't believe you gave it to him in the first place.
Titus OoC: 'It seemed inoffensive at the time'
All: LOL

The first of the evening's distractions.

http://31.media.tumblr.com/7343a30bad4a86fc7610efa7814282c7/tumblr_nf6he4PyZY1qeze3ho1_500.jpg

Felix: One of the more unusual products to come out of the Dungeons and Dragons stable.
GM: Wait, what? That's a licensed product?
Felix: .... Nooooo. D&D. The cartoon. Uni?
GM: .... EWWWW!!!
Felix: Took you long enough.
Inkubus: Prince Blueblood has to make money somehow.
Felix: Well, bull semen is the most expensive product, by weight, in the world.
Greenlight: The More You Know! The Less You Want To.

It's actually a Hungarian herbal liqueur.

Greenlight: How about we go to the jeweller? I don't want a repeat of last time, where I saw a hovering Elf's junk.
Inkubus: As long as we admit it's always a possibility.

It's a very upmarket jeweller's store, in a very upmarket mall.

Warhammer: I give preciselyyyyyy.... two rat's arses.

The jeweller at King Solomon's Mine identifies the bracelet as a replica he made for a particular client - not Mercurial. He heads out the back of his shop to check the records. Inkubus advises Felix to NOT astrally case the joint - they can probably afford mystic security. This isn't the kind of place the rest of the team usually hang out after all.

Inkubus: It's not like we're where these guys live.
Warhammer: I'm surprised that hasn't come up yet.
Greenlight: We've been stopped every five feet since we came in.

Despite that, a quartet of ragged street scum are wandering nonchalantly up to the shop. They are BLATANTLY casing the joint.

Felix: Obviously the security were too busy following us around to notice these guys come in.

Toughs: Freeze! This is a robbery!
Warhammer: *starts laughing his arse off*
Inkubus: *turns with enormous shit-eating grin*
Felix: *looking around.* Wait, who's doing the robbery?
Toughs: ... This is not going to plan
Felix: *glares suspiciously at the dwarf* Warhammer... we did NOT discuss this...

Warhammer punches one of them in the balls.

Warhammer: I don't know why I shoot people, I really don't.

Inkubus' spell fizzles.

Inkubus: ... I suspect there are Bavarians nearby.

So does Felix's.

Felix: The hell? *stares at finger and ceiling* What sort of magical defenses do they have in here?

Titus: I think it would be a good idea if you just left.

With dawning horror the attempted robbers recognise who they tried to hold up, and get down on their knees, hands behind their heads, and wait for the police.

Greenlight: Good plan.

Inkubus: They've got promise
Felix: Look on the bright side - a few months in stir and they'll pick up all sorts of useful tricks.

Assuming the police don't just sell them for medical experimentation, anyway. Apparently the replica was made for one Justine Greer, the CEO of EmergingFutures, a freelance research think tank in the Barrens. Two months ago a mystery man bought them out in a hostile takeover, and they're currently involved in a corporate brawl with RenrakuCorp.

Felix: Well, we know who's going to win that one.

Inkubus calls his fixer, to arrange phone numbers in the hope this Miss Greer responds to our inquiries.

Inkubus: Somebody is going to be calling you about a ring.
Fixer: Did you propose marriage to someone again?
Inkubus: I've never been that drunk! I can't even say the world!

Greenlight's drama senses are tingling - she has a deep hate for Renraku, after they kidnapped her family. She wonders if this mystery buyer is the same Soft-eyed Man behind the kidnap.

Titus: I'm confused - how did you make the leap to him being a Renraku man?
Felix: Paranoia.
Greenlight: I'm sorry, someone mentioned the R-word and my mental gears went CRUNCH.

Felix: Are there any stormwater canals running through the Barrens?
GM: Sure.
Titus: Great, we can use a boat.
Felix: And if can find some way to add Inkubus' dick to the equation, we can't fail!
Titus: Just stick him on the front as a figurehead.

Inkubus: Coke dissolves concrete. There's a divot down on the wharfs where they spilled the concentrate - they washed it off in minutes and it STILL etched a mark.
Titus: And it still glows faintly on moonless nights.

It would have been a good idea to track down Greer and her company sooner. Now there's a collapsed warehouse and a column of smoke where their labs used to be.

Titus: This is what happens when you piss off a Triple-A company.
Inkubus: Now why don't we get jobs like THAT?
Titus: Well there was that one time, but we were supposed to be rescuing somebody.
Inkubus: Yeah, don't mention that one around Felix, he glares at me whenever I bring it up.

After the requisite rubber-necking from the Mystery Machine, we move on - for one thing the circling drones overhead are highly suspicious. But at least we get a call. Whoever is on the other end - we're experienced enough to not to assume it's actually Greer - wants to meet us at the Emerging Futures corporate offices the next day. They've had problems - half the windows have been shattered. But at least nobody shoots us as we go in. And their security is quite good - it detects nearly all of the weapons we're covering. Felix occupies one of the plush seats like he was born to it.

Inkubus: You were.

Greer would quite like the item back. We, of course, want to know how it ended up in our client's possession. And if it at point it was stolen, we don't want to be charged with handling stolen property. Inkubus mentions our client's name, and Greer completely fails to hide her shock behind a stoic facade.

Greer: I hope you understand that individual is a major asset of our company.
Inkubus: Yes, he's quite large.

Greer has the conference room sealed. A good sign, since she locked herself in here with us. Greenlight is getting more and more jumpy as the circuitous conversation continues. The Renraku connection is preying on her mind. And caging somebody for medical experimentation - even if it was a dragon - is striking too close to home. Inkubus quietly hits her with a mood-calming spell, which effects Warhammer even more severely.

Felix: Somebody dropped a Zenade. AUUUUMMMMM.

At least the dragon was willing participant in the research, despite his episode. It seems likely we can sort all this out with a few non-disclosure agreements.

Inkubus: I don't think I've ever been in this situation before - working for two clients who DON'T want to actively screw each other.

But the drones aren't hers. It's now obvious that Renraku is funding the attacks, and waiting to see what the company considers a high-priority asset. Greenlight's artificial peace evaporates immediately.

Felix: It's how I'd do it.

Greer offers a contract - recover the lab's data before Renraku can.

Inkubus: How did Eliohahn end up with your bracelet anyway?
Greer: During the attack we -
Inkubus: *raises eyebrow* Do tell.
Greer: Nothing like that!
Titus OoC: And that's where Drakes came from.

But what of two other details Inkubus pulled from Eliohahn's scrambled memory? The name Cobalt Marie, and an Orc with a coin earring? Inkubus recognises the name, at least. It's a club. Of COURSE it's a club. And a very exclusive one, for high-level corporate types.

Inkubus: Forget I mentioned it.
Titus: The Power of RETCON!
Inkubus: THAT'S the superpower I want.
Titus: Ultimate level in the martial art of Deja Fu. But it's no good against against another practitioner - it just degenerates into a temporal slapfight until everybody goes home embarrassed.

True, Renraku security are fearsome. Lets hope we don't run into any, regardless of how much Greenlight wants to. The objectives : Examine the lab site. Recover the data, unless it's already been copied in which case track down those responsible and recover it from THEM. Wipe any data pertaining to Project Cerberus.

Inkubus: Do we have permission to eliminate those drones? They are flying over your corporate territory.
Greer: Yes.
Warhammer: *smiles*
Inkubus: Are you happy now?
Titus: It'll even be legal. Mostly.

We leave, showing Security all the weapons they missed on our way in. Inkubus demonstrates proper security wand technique.

Inkubus: One of the perks of doing security. You get to poke people with a stick.

There's already a Renraku chopper parked at the ruined lab. Grinning evilly, Felix Stunbolts the pilot, Warhammer shoots down the Renraku drones, and Inkubus slaps an Force Dome over it.

Pilot: What the hell? One of the drones just wen-THUD

Inkubus Buffs Felix, Felix calls down an Air Elemental to conceal us, and we head in to have fun with ninjas.

Greenlight: Samurai. They'll kill you if you call them ninjas.
Warhammer: They'll try to kill us anyway.
Greenlight: They'll TRY.

Titus disables the elevators by ripping off a door and jamming it underneath the car. Still less noisy than using grenades. Then we head down the stairs - Eliohahn's exit hole is a bit alarming.

(At this point the game pauses because the police show up, looking for a previous tenant. I'd wondered if the neighbours had overheard us plotting murder and burglary - this IS Shadowrun, after all. But I resisted the temptation to yell "Quick, hide the hookers and blow" and dive over the fence)

GM: Tooonny! The Lone Star are here. IRL!
Tony: What?!
Titus' player: As valid reasons to pause the game go, it's a good one.

We sneak invisible and inaudible into the computer room, and prepare to make the red-clad Renraku samurai very unhappy campers.

Felix: I can't Stunball them all if you go up and tase them.
Greenlight: In any other situation that is a valid tactical observation - but this is is Renraku and F**K Renraku!

We stroll up to point-blank range, Titus taking practise swings with his sledgehammer, Warhammer with shotgun aimed at crotch, Greenlight preparing to tase someone in the face, and Felix preparing to fire a Stunbolt into somebody's occipital lobe.

Felix: On the count of three.
.
The resulting carnage is a bit alarming.

GM: Whatever happened to 'We only use gel rounds?'
Felix: Hey, I'M using Stun.

Inkubus is already clearing a flightpath for the helicopter when we steal it. Greenlight browses through the data and spots a few familiar names in old biotech data. Such as his brothers. And that of the Soft-eyed Man. And the phrase 'universal donor'.

Inkubus: Oh no. Your has Type O System. He's *valuable*.
Greenlight: *growls* What's Project Cerberus?
Felix: Do we have time for this?
Greenlight: SHUT. UP.

Actually, Cerberus seems to have nothing to do with his brother - it's all about cybertech for animals, and nothing to do with whatever research EmergingFutures were doing on Renraku's behalf. We head out carrying the pile of unconscious and dead samurai, sending the Renraku chopper off on autopilot invisible under the air elemental to Warhammer's merc base, and leave in the Mystery Machine. We dump the living samurai operatives at a coffin hotel after stealing all their stuff, and go home. A good night's work. Our GM is perturbed that we managed to steal the chopper.

Inkubus OoC: Useful tip for GMs - If you don't want the PCs to have something, don't give it to their enemies.

And, of course, Greenlight has more clues to whatever happened to his brother, and the possible whereabouts of his family.

Greenlight: I'm not going to kill EVERYBODY. Just whoever is responsible.
Inkubus: I know. I know you pretty well be now. Sorry about the calming spell on the office.
Greenlight: ....
Inkubus: Remind me to get an insulated cup.

We get paid six times for this job - the dragon, Miss Greer, selling the chopper, selling the samurai's gear, selling the dead samurai to the organleggers, and a special auction to sell the Renraku samurai armour to anybody who really want to piss off the corporation with a rare collectible. The data Greenlight stole refers to multiple Jacks. Jack One, Jack Two, Jack Three...

Felix: Maybe they're all stem cell lines.
Inkubus: ...He was younger than he should be...
Greenlight: ....They cloned him.
Inkubus: ... But he had Jack's memories? F**k. Personality chips.
Greenlight: I'm going to kill them all.
GM: I was going to give you all the hints over the next three sessions!
Felix OoC: You solved it in 30 seconds!
Inkubus OoC: Sorry.

[Weldun]

We get paid six times for this job - the dragon, Miss Greer, selling the chopper, selling the samurai's gear, selling the dead samurai to the organleggers, and a special auction to sell the Renraku samurai armour to anybody who really want to piss off the corporation with a rare collectible. The data Greenlight stole refers to multiple Jacks. Jack One, Jack Two, Jack Three...

 

GM: Maybe they're all stem cell lines.

Inkubus: ...He was younger than he should be...

Greenlight: ....They cloned him.

Inkubus: ... But he had Jack's memories? Fuck. Personality chips.

Greenlight: I'm going to kill them all.

GM: I was going to give you all the hints over the next three sessions!

Felix OoC: You solved it in 30 seconds!

Inkubus OoC: Sorry.

Yeah, ask anyone who has GM'd for me. I tend to put the peices together a lot earlier than they were hoping.

[BlueCloud2k2]

(At this point the game pauses because the police show up, looking for a previous tenant. I'd wondered if the neighbours had overheard us plotting murder and burglary - this IS Shadowrun, after all. But I resisted the temptation to yell "Quick, hide the hookers and blow" and dive over the fence)

 

GM: Tooonny! The Lone Star are here. IRL!

Tony: What?!

Titus' player: As valid reasons to pause the game go, it's a good one.

 

 

Having done this while at a party, the police do not find this funny in the least bit.

[Houston GM]

Beautiful - I HAVE to hear more of your teams adventurers

 

Well, I have to be careful. Since your GM seems to be using many of the same runs we did, I could always inadvertently end up giving spoilers.

 

Speaking of that, is your GM on the forum? If so, I have an plot seed for a quick mission that your group will probably have fun with.

[Drhoz]

Well, I have to be careful. Since your GM seems to be using many of the same runs we did, I could always inadvertently end up giving spoilers.

 

Speaking of that, is your GM on the forum? If so, I have an plot seed for a quick mission that your group will probably have fun with.

No, but i'll send you his email addy in a provate message

[muskieratboi]

*cough*

 

*puts on best Faye Dunaway in Supergirl impression*

 

You rang? 

[Drhoz]

Wherein the warband has a slight problem in their plan to capture an Imperial and Severian commander and sacrifice them both to the Ruinous Powers - the Imperial commander has done a runner. And the Imperial psyker that might have told us where he's gone got his head blown off by the loyalist Commissar. True, Cassius could just eat the remnants of the psyker's brain and digest the info that way, but the precision of such techniques is questionable, even assuming his Space Marine enhancements still work, now that Cassius is a Daemon Prince. And Johanna, the Sister of Pain, had her leg shattered by Cassius after her paranoia caused this entire problem. Just as well Cassius telekinetically forces the shredded tissue to knit back together afterwards - Johanna is still useul to him.

Jrska has a word with the surviving Imperial officers - she's going to given them a chance to die spectacularly. She has Aladar drench them all in promethium, and informs them they can either run off towards the Imperial forces as cannon fodder, or she'll let Aladar set them on fire. One of them tries to cut his own throat, but Jrska prevents this and has Aladar turn him into a roman candle instead.

Cassius has the base's cogitators interrogated.

Cog: By the power of the Lord High Google, what do you know, machine spirit?

Tech-support spirit (which for some reason has an Indian accent): Hello, you have reached the Adminstratum, how may I help you?

Cassius analyses the enemy's deployment and tactics. Evidently the Imperial Guard storming the Starfort are siege specialists.

Cassius: You'll be amazed what uses you can put sand-bags to.
Jrska: Enough sand-bags and you don't even need latrines.

Cassius: How would they react to something nasty shoved up their rear?

The nasty being us, attacking the Imperial troops from behind their own lines. Cassius determines the best way to confuse and disrupt the Imperial forces - using those codes we lifted earlier, we broadcast the following to the units and approaching fleet.

Cog: Inquisitorial Agents confirmed aboard. We were betrayed from within. Moving deeper into Starfort.

Then he has the Chains of Judgement open fire on the docking arm, and we move to ambush the troops as they redeploy. A pity the Imperials managed to destroy our Deamonengine Stormfarrow, but at least he had fun melting Imperials into puddles of shrieking protoplasm beforehand. The bombardment causes the artificial gravity to fail.

Jrska: Pity my Kingfisher Girls can't actually fly.
Cassius: I grab Jrska - I can't trust you to behave yourself if the others grab you. Not an inaccurate assessment.
Jrska: True
GM: You leave the Kingfisher Girls bobbing around in mid-air. They'll probably come back with interesting tales of things to do in zero-gee.
Cog: They haven't done that already? Jrska, what kind of Slaneesh cult leader are you?
Cassius: Haven't you seen the opening of Barbarella?
GM: Well, you are going to leave them to their own devices for an hour - they'll reinvent it out of sheer boredom.
Cassius: You tell them to sit and make daisy chains and they do something entirely different.

We wait until we spot which of the advancing tanks is equipped with command antenna. Annoyingly, they spot us before we can descend on them in a ravening mass. Something must have made them a little paranoid. I wonder what? Nonetheless, Cassius rips the hatch off the command tank and feels around inside for the target. Johanna sets another tank alight, Aladar leaps down from concealment, goes incorporeal, and rematerialises INSIDE one of the vehicles and blazes away with his lascannon. True, the tank explodes with him inside it, but his power armour and indomitable idiocy conspire to keep him alive.

Cassius: Nurgle is smiling on him.
Jrska: He's too stupid to die.

Jrska drops a flash grenade and manages to blind at least one tank crew - that should reduce the chance of Cassius being blown off the roof of the lead tank. Cog's graviton gun wrecks the suspension of another, which later implodes under its own increased weight. Cassius plays Barrel of Monkeys with the command tank, pulling the commander out despite the two crew members hanging onto his legs.

Cog: Now is the time to leave.
Cassius: Well, I'm not stopping you if you want to have fun.

But if Cassius goes off to cast the ritual himself, he gets all the reward from the Chaos Gods. And besides, he needs Jrska, and Cog's poisoned knives, to con the rival commanders into killing each other. Even if that does cost Cassius his new squeaky toy.

Cog: I'm picturing Jrska launching into a musical number during an important meeting. Happy Birthday, perhaps.
Jrska: *croons* Happy Biiiirthdaaay
Cassius: Argh! *covers ears*
Jrska: .... Mister Daemon Prince...

Cassius psychically Deludes his captive.

Cassius: Relax General - I'm just giving you a chance to take this station for the Imperium. (Of course, I'm not saying it's a GOOD chance)

Indeed, with Delude he can talk BOTH commanders into cooperating.

Cassius: Gentlemen - I give you my word. Whichever of you survives this fight to the death, I will turn my attention upon the forces of your enemy. And regardless of the result, my intention is to return to the Screaming Vortex.

Helpfully, this is all true. He intends to wipe BOTH sides out after we take the Starfort into the Vortex and build a Black Crusade. True, Jrska is a bit put out - she was going to whisper to both and tell them that their allies were poised to rescue them, after they disrupt their captive's plans by killing their opposite number, and slip them both a poisoned knife. But this way the poisoned knives get used, at least, which should make Cog pleased with his handiwork.

Cassius: Actually, Cog is my most trusted advisor. He doesn't have the GUILE to betray me.

Jrska won't be much use in the summoning and binding of the Leviathan, but she still wants to be there.

Jrska: I'll just be holding the candles - or doing something with the candles, anyway.

Jrska: I'll wager 400 quatloos on the big one.

One of the commanders survives the knife fight long enough to realise we're all grinning. Cassius checks his watch.

Cassius: Wait for it, wait for it.... feeling a little weak?
Imperial Commander: ... Yes?
Cassius: They were poisoned blades.
Imperial Commander: You... lying... bas... tard! *expires*
Cassius: Chaos. And daemon prince of Tzeentch, master of betrayal.

As the Leviathan emerges from the Warp to engulf the Starfort, we perceive it crunching the Imperial fleet between its teeth in passing, and destroying a vital Severian agriworld with corrupting bowshock. Then the warpsmith's psionic harpoon sink into the beast's unholy flesh and we're all dragged off on a Nantucket Sleighride across the Warp, until we can steer it into the Vortex and it's so exhausted it can be bound into the metal of its attempted meal.

True, chasing after the Imperial commander left us so pressed for time that Aladar, Jrska and Cog all fail our personal objectives in this Compact, but we've all gathered extreme Infamy and Corruption for what we DID achieve. Jrska, for example, gets a second Deamon Weapon - her whip Paintongue would get jealous if she started using a second melee weapon, so her Plasma pistol, already suspiciously phallic in outline, is now unbelievably perverse.

Jrska: I assume that does nothing for its refractory period.

Her pistol is now called Doom-granter.

GM: There's a lot of doom in this party. Maybe I should sing the Doom Song.
All: Doomdoomdoomdidoomdoomdoom.

Tzeentch is so pleased with our efforts on his behalf that he rewards Cog with some new psionic lobes to his cybernetic brain. This should be useful. And with yet more psychic boons from his patron Tzeentch, Cassius is now well-and-truly an Alpha-level Threat to the Imperium. After all, his theoretical psychic level is 28. And powerful human psykers are levels 4 or 5.

Cassius: And this is why psykers turn to Chaos.

We can expect major resistance from the Imperium, once we've finished consolidating our powerbase in the Screaming Vortex.

Jrska: You do realise we'll be facing Grey Knight Terminators the next time we invade the Imperium?
Cassius: Yes. Bring it on.
Cog: I want their armour.

Cassius' thrall-wizard survives being tapped for yet more power.

Thrall: Ooooaaggh, it hurts... so... good!
Cassius: Jrska has had her influence.

Cassius also wants a Thousand Sons Space Marine as a minion.

Cassius: The ultimate sign that you've Made It as a psyker.

Cassius: He's just been standing in a broom cupboard all this time. And then he felt me.

Cassius: I really wanted him as a minion that Jrska can't seduce.
GM: Are there any holes in his armour?

[Weldun]

I made a few acquisition rolls with the GM after Dhroz and the other players left. Cassius has been gifted with:

1) An Asteroid Stronghold with 20 interconnected chambers.
2) A Personalized Sigil (8 DoS)
3) Abaddon's Approval (6 DoS)

[DusterBoy]

Cassius is doing very well for himself.... but he'd best avoid any loyalist Space Marines. They won't be as understanding as I am.

[Drhoz]

Cassius is doing very well for himself.... but he'd best avoid any loyalist Space Marines. They won't be as understanding as I am.

 

He's already talked a garrison of Heresy-era Loyalists into handing over half their stockpiled geneseed. But it's true the Millennial Wardens are going to be a problem....

[Weldun]

He's already talked a garrison of Heresy-era Loyalists into handing over half their stockpiled geneseed. But it's true the Millennial Wardens are going to be a problem....

I am really going to regret having created that chapter for the Deathwatch campaign... looking over the things that they can do and their preferred methods of engagement, taking them on during any Black Crusade is going to be a nightmare. A Chapter where even the tactical marines have a level of acumen that makes the Inquisition suspect them of being psykers with Diviniation powers? Owie.

 

But I'm not sure how the "Loyalists" are going to react to Cassius' apotheosis. The may take exception to it. Then again, I had almost managed to get them to think of Chaos as just another resource, so who knows.

[BlueCloud2k2]

Did you guys start out as Chaos Marines, or did you start out as Imperial and turn heretic?

[DusterBoy]

IIRC - Cassius started out as a Loyalist Space Marine Psyker who realised that the Ecclesiarchy had betrayed the Emperor's vision of a secular Imperium.

 

Then, of course, he ran into Jrska, a Slaanesh-worshipping beastwoman....

[L. Marcus]

"... And that's when the destruction began."

[DusterBoy]

Oh, so much so.

[Drhoz]

*grin* And then there's Cog and Aladar, who both fled into the Screaming Vortex when they got into big trouble with the Imperium, and Sister Johanna, who Jrska seduced into Slaneesh-worship

[Drhoz]

Inkubus: I knew a Runner that managed to black out the entire Seattle Metroplex because he went "Oooh, buttons!"
Titus: Never press buttons - never press any buttons! It never ends well

Having somehow, in a feat of inductive reasoning that would make Sherlock Holmes say "Oh come on, now you're just taking the piss", that after Renraku kidnapped Greenlight's brother they've been growing clones of him complete with biochip memories, we consider our next move. Rushing into it will be a very bad idea - Renraku is a ruthless corporation, and it's unlikely that they appreciated us dumping their surviving samurai at a capsule hotel with nothing to wear but "I Love Orcs" t-shirts. But we do get to wait like hungry vultures as Titus calculates how much we can get from selling off their gear and cyberwear (selling off their armour and helicopter will have to wait until we can arrange an auction).

Inkubus got banned from choosing the movies for Movie Night.

Inkubus: 'Barbarella' was my high-class choice. After that it was 'Valley of the B-Girls'.

Inkubus: Did you hear? They've redone The Gigolo - as a Sim-sense.

Our latest client is offering a paltry amount to extract somebody. But we can at least listen before turning him down.

Felix: We can amuse ourselves by doing impersonations of him later.

Mr. Johnson: This will be an easy one for you.
Greenlight: ...uh-huh.
Felix: The moment he said 'This an easy one' I doubled how much we're charging him.
Inkubus: Doubled? I tripled.

He offers us 5000 nuyen each.

Inkubus: Why did you wake me up? That won't even by a bottle of my favourite drink!

Titus: It might another case of 'we can do this this afternoon and then go back to the pub'

Inkubus: I spend a lot of money on Cheerios.
GM: Nobody ever calls then the right name - Nurps.
Inkubus: I meant the cheerleading squad - the Seattle Cheerios XD

Inkubus: Never, never EVER let a troll go Cowgirl.
Warhammer: ?
Inkubus: I don't want to talk about it.
Greenlight: You were very brave.
Inkubus: I had to try it at least once.

As it happens the woman - one Shirley Marquee - that we're supposed to extract works for a Nurps factory. We're supposed to approach her in a plaza park, and give the code-phrase 'We're from the Easter Bunny', then hustle her off to the van.

Inkubus: I'm sorry but I can't make the approach. I'm court-ordered from saying things like that.
Felix: Is it a white van with 'Free Candy' written on the side?
Warhammer: Can I wear a bunny suit?

Greenlight drives the white van provided (the rest of us are too paranoid and follow in the Mystery Mobile) and cross the park to meet her on a bridge. But it turns out Shirley Marquee is drugged to the eyeballs. To quote a famous military figure "It's a trap!" It turns out every civilian in the park is a heavily armed plainclothes operative. And two more squads boil out from kiosks and copses and run forward laying down a hailstorm of angry lead.

Felix: This is why we should have launched the surveillance drone!
Titus: Who have we pissed off enough to arrange this?
Inkubus: Renraku, Aztechnology, Alamos 20K, the great dragon Lofwyr...

On the other hand we're so paranoid we were already in the best positions to react to this kind of thing, almost before it happens. And it's always possible the attackers don't actually know exactly who we are, and we are still obliged to TRY and get Shirley out of here.

Inkubus: We still a job to do. Maybe their security just got lucky and intercepted her plans to escape.

But if they ARE prepared to blow up the white van, it's just as well we turned up with the Mystery Machine, and can lay down our own suppressing fire from an unexpected direction. And, of course, one of Inkubus' Maximised Orgy spells can make for a really memorable afternoon. Titus strolls up behind two of the supposed chessplayers who are now drawing SMGs to fire at Greenlight as she leaps off the bridge into the creek.

Greenlight OoC: 'King me!'
Felix: 'Now kiss!' *miming slamming their heads together*
Inkubus: We see your ambush, and raise you another ambush! And our ambushes are better because we never plan them!

Inkubus: Yeah, no. No, yeah. No. Yeah.
Felix: 'Yeah, no. No, yeah. No. Yeah?'
All: Yeah.

In fact, our pre-emptive counter-attack demoralises them so completely they retreat, and we can complete our extraction before the cops turn up to investigate all this gunfire in downtown Seattle.

Greenlight: Hello drugged lady, lets get you out of hear.

Titus: The best escort missions are when you can taze the client and say 'Good. Now get in the bag.'

We make our way to the drop-off, our Watcher spirits reporting nothing amiss.That goes without incident, and we return to the bar for payment. Warhammer goes around the back way, in case THIS is a trap.

Greenlight: No-one will care that you stink of booze if you jump over the bar.

But apparently the Johnson genuinely had no idea the ambush was going to happen. And as the bagman in this deal, he can't tell us who DID know about it.

Mr. Johnson: Sorry about that.
Felix: At least some of the security team enjoyed themselves.
Inkubus: I do try to spread a little joy in the world.

Of course at this point the GM headdesks, because by leaving the white van, and succeeding in the extraction, means we miss two important plot hooks. Inkubus books an evening at Cobalt Marie for himself and Miss Winter, the client from the Dreamchipper case. Of course he has to do it under his own name (and there wont be a table free for weeks, anyway).

Inkubus: Felix knows my real name - I had to put it on the lease - but I've told him if he ever tells anybody I'll hit him an Orgasm spell and mainline caffeine to keep it running all night.

Inkubus wants to learn the spell Shockwave, so he can make people loose control of their bodily functions.

Felix: Brown Note
Greenlight: What was it Soundwave said? 'Large Butts preferred. Lying Impossible.'

But his date won't be for weeks, so he spends the night at the Convenience Store, a nightclub. The bouncer is dressed as a greeter.

Bouncer: Welcome to the Convenience Store. We love you. Welcome to the Convenience Store. We love you. No Shirt? No shoes? No problem.

Inkubus is promptly seduced by a statuesque brunette by the name of Ariel.

Greenlight: The next time somebody is described as statuesque they'd better be be a statue!
Felix: And have no arms.

Greenlight: When you say she's coming on hard...
Inkubus: She's a squirter, apparently.
Warhammer: Clean-up to Aisle Four.

And, of course, she's a trap too. Inkubus wakes up naked, hungover, and drugged in a concrete cell. And the drug he's been given makes it impossible to cast magic and get himself out, even though he knows the spell Detox. And it might be a week before the others even start wondering where he got to.

Inkubus: They really kidnapped the wrong one.
Kidnapper: Why haven't your friends come looking for you yet?
Inkubus: Have you got more of that hallucinogen? It's trippy.
Greenlight OoC: He's tied up and being stuffed to the gills on drugs.
Inkubus OoC: Sounds like my version of a day spa.

His kidnappers unlock the door and cover him with assorted firearms, ordering him to not try anything. He declines to oblige, and manages to cast Hot Potato. All the metal they're holding suddenly feels red hot.

Felix OoC: And do any of them have Prince Alberts?
Greenlight OoC: Everywhere he goes people just tear their clothes off in front of him.

But they still manage to fire some warning shots.

Kidnapper: He can still cast - give him another dose!
Inkubus: Please! This stuff would go gangbusters on the club scene.

The kidnappers threaten to shoot him. Inkubus points out that if they wanted him dead he already would be.

Inkubus: I DO do this for a living, you know.

So they pistol-whip him unconscious instead, and he comes around in the lab of one Doctor What.

Dr What: And how are you today?
Inkubus: A little out of it. And your guards have no sense of humour.

What hooks him up with electrodes.Inkubus tries to pretend he's enjoying it.

Inkubus: I've done this! It's fun!

Inkubus: Please! I've been to BDSM parties more extreme than this.

He's got an ulterior motive. Endophins bond really well to toxins (or rather, block them) so the more pain, the less the hallucinogen is affecting him.

Inkubus: And then I can get a message to Felix - HEEEEEEEEELLLLLPPPPPP.

Felix: Where IS Inkubus? I'd have expected at least an SMS by now. It's Movie Night!
Greenlight: That SOB better be watching Sailor Moon with us.

What starts asking pertaining to that manuscript we stole last year.

Inkubus: Torture is a really stupid way to extract information. And I don't talk to stupid people. Now give me more volts - I wanna see if I can paint the ceiling this time.

He manages to get a Watcher Spirit out to Felix.

Spirit: Message Begins: I'm being tortured and interrogated by an idiot! HELLLLPPP! Message Ends.

Inkubus is being held in a cliff-top bungalow that used to a UCAS listening station.

Inkubus OoC: For some reason they thought Canada was a threat. Go figure.

Happily, Warhammer's government and military contacts have all the details of its construction. And it being cliff-top, it's good excuse to use the boat again. Greenlight swims ashore under cover of darkness and gets to work. Hopefully our lack of an Air Spirit for concealment won't cause us any problems.

Greenlight: I'm going to find Dr What then I'm sticking this shock-baton up his arse.
Felix: What DOES seem quite fond of electric shocks.
Inkubus OoC: I've got plans for What - Orgasm : Permanent.

At least the guards around the building are hilariously ill-prepared for Greenlight's ruthenium fibre cloak and Mad Ninja Skillz.

Inkubus: Oh god. These guys are bargain bin. Low-end mercs out of the African Wars.
Felix: The kind of person who watched too much Mad Max as a child and read Soldier of Fortune.
Inkubus: No, that assumes they had access to television and know how to read.

Greenlight's shock-batons ensure they do the Dance of the Electric Cockroach, and calls in the rest of the team. Our boat roars towards the shore.

Labrat: I don't need to go swimming, I had a bath last week.
Inkubus: This is why I don't go pub-crawling with him more often. I had a girl for breakfast, a girl for lunch, a girl for dinner. So why does he hang out with me? Leftovers.

We storm the building - now we're in the building gunfire won't attract so much attention from the police - which would have arrived promptly given the average income in this part of town. Titus kicks his way into Inkubus' cell. Greenlight corners Dr What, holds out the end of his shock-baton, and uses Commanding Voice.

Greenlight: Here, hold this.
Dr What: *confused, does so, and dances the Dance of the Electric Cockroach*
Greenlight: Thanks

Inkubus is chained to his chair, covered in his own fluids.

Titus: Bubbles, you know Sterilise right? *sigh* well, at least I can get my armour professionally cleaned.

Inkubus grins horribly at our captive torturer.

Inkubus: You and I are going to have a lot of fun together!

Warhammer uses White Phosphorus grenades on the surviving mercs.

Inkubus: And they call ME evil.
Felix: It sends a message to the next group that kidnaps one of us.
Inkubus: Mess with us and we will BURN YOUR SHIT TO THE GROUND.
Greenlight: I like this message.

To our very great relief, the inferno does NOT set the building's armoury on fire. Not least because Inkubus's stuff is in the armoury.

Inkubus: You're carrying hand-held WP grenades AND launched? Do me a favour - next time there's a fire fight, make sure you're on the next continent.

Inkubus OoC: There's the Holy Trinity weapon used by the Sisters of Battle. Combi bolter-melta.
Felix OoC: With strap-on one-shot Flamer.
Warhammer OoC: Unless it explodes on you.
Felix OoC: That's Plasma weapons.
Warhammer OoC: Oh right - meltas are the safe ones.
All: For a certain value of 'safe'

Felix OoC: And the GM wanders off to try and salvage the adventure again.
Warhammer OoC: He does that a lot.

We loot the armoury and depart (weighed down under the sheer weight of stuff and duffle-bags of more stuff). Only to find Inkubus' seducer waiting on the prow of our boat. And she's a fearsomely powerful Free Air Spirit. But Warhammer has a fearsomely powerful gun and the battle appears to over in less than a second, and one shot.

GM: Deskflip.
Warhammer: Actually her vanishing like that scares me more than a drawn out fight.

He's right to be concerned. There is nothing to stop such a powerful spirit returning from the elemental planes seeking revenge.

Inkubus: There's only one way to deal with this.
Greenlight: Toga Party.

We're going to have to go into the Elemental Plane of Air to find her True Name, then summon her, and bind her, to stop her coming after us. And if Inkubus uses the Life Pact, he can swear to never command her, and she can never be Bound by anybody else, and he'll never age. Everybody wins! Assuming we survive the Plane of Air and can actually bind her.

Warhammer OoC: This was a good game - it had everything in it.
Felix: Something for all of us to do, a set-up for next session...
Warhammer: And we screwed over the GM repeatedly.

GM: Everyone gets a 'Derail the Adventure' Karma point.