I was running my Zombie Apocalypse game, with several long-time friends.
The three PC's and one NPC are on the top of a sporting goods store that they and their survivor group has been holed up in for a couple of days, as they prep to leave L.A.
The three PC's are Jordan, a gorgeous LAPD "kiddie cop" (think of Eliza Dushku in the LAPD uniform. Now youre on track), Eric, a recently-graduated high-school athletic star who was about to turn pro before the world ended (looks like Tom Welling), and Gabriel, a six foot ten EMT ambulance driver (who looks like Abraham Benrubi). The NPC with them is most often referred to as "Conspiracy Man", and goes only by the name of Ed. Despite a few comments about the "alien overlords" and the "flouride mind-control policy", they nevertheless gave Ed a rifle, as they had just raided a pawn shop, and his oddly useful skill-set was instrumental in their success. (They suspect he is ex military, and has seen too much).
The group has recently discovered that there are a few more survivors trapped on the fourht floor of a building about a block away from their own hideout. The people trapped in the office building have smashed out a window and hung a sign out of it written on a drape that says "Help Us".
As the characters are deciding what to do next, the sounds of gunfire erupt from a rooftop a few buildings away. The characters look around, and realize that it is coming from four gang-banger types who are taking shots at the "Help Us" sign, and the people behind it. (These are people with the same mentality as those who were shooting at police, ambulances, and fire fighters during the L.A.riots).
Jordan, the cop, is the first to spot the perps. She aims her rifle at them. The others follow suit. I tell them that one is shooting, another has a rifle also, and there are two others with pistols besides. They look like they are in their early twenties, of mixed ethnicity, and are wearing loose clothes with alot of sports team endorsements. Jordan makes a Perception roll and recognizes them as wearing local gang colors.
Ed: Firing order?
Jordan: Im taking down the shooter.
Ed: Ill take the other one who has a rifle.
Eric and Gabriel's Players both indicate they are also going to fire. I ask them to pick targets. And then...
Gabriel's Player: Ill shoot whichever one has the most underwear showing.
After we all finally stopped laughing, Garbiel then proceeded to randomly hit the unlucky s.o.b. in Location 13. For near-max damag,e and maximum Stun.
I guess Gabriel -really- didnt want to see that guys underwear!
(Edit: If this post accidentally offends anyone out there who habitually "busts a sag"... TOUGH! Pull your gorram pants up!)
The UNITY team is discussing how they might infiltrate an alien battleship. The team's shapeshifting Russian hero has a suggestion.
Vilkacis: You could fit me inside a small hollow missile and fire me at the enemy ship. The missile would penetrate the hull, allowing me access!
Me: So the missile would be a Depleted Ukrainian round?
A wookie and a human walk into a bar. (stop me if you've heard this one...)
When questioned about his comrade, the human answers, "Him? He's my fur coat, I just haven't had it killed yet."
Later in the same scene, the wookie is questioned by another wookie, to which he responds, "Oh, Him? He's my condom. I just haven't used him yet."
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"If we're not here to make trouble, what the hell are we here for?"
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On trying to break into a prison:
"We'll get the wookie arrested. Just think of all the things you can hide in a wookie."
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"As long as we come out of it alive, it's alright."
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Two Jedi, A Killian Ranger (alternate force tradition), and two droids are breaking into a prison disguised as maintenance workers.
The Killian Ranger and one Jedi are arguing in a corner, attempting to look nonchelant, when they are approached by a dark jedi and the obligatory cadre of stormtroopers.
Dark Jedi: "I'm not sure... Which one of you is it?"
Ranger: "What do you mean? We're just cleaners."
Dark Jedi: "Spare me. Which of you is the Jedi?"
The Jedi and the Killian turn away from him and huddle. Rock, Paper, Scissors ensues. The Jedi throws scissors. The Killian throws rock.
Jedi: "****."
Ranger: "HA!" Points to Jedi "He is."
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Just after the group has defeated the DJ, and finishes dispatching the stormtroopers, another three platoons of stormtroopers enters the causeway, escorting the prisoners we'd gone to recover. With bodies littering the floor, the Killian ranger calmly steps up to the officer apparent and says, "We'll take them from here."
Persuasion check = 1,1,1
"Oh, okay." And they turn around and leave.
