Character Critique Corner

[McManus]

Hey all,

 

I wanted to set up a place where anyone could post a character to be critiqued, improved, lauded or laughed at. The idea is pretty basic and there a re numerous single character critique posts. I thought it might be nice to try an d centralize that activity so we could all benefit from others expertise.

 

So post a character or critique someone else’s. Have fun. Learn something. And play nice.

[McManus]

Re: Character Critique Corner

 

I will get this started.

 

I am looking to join an ongoing campaign. When I asked the current players what sort of character they could use to help round out the group I got several different suggestions. They were Mentalist, Gadgeteer, and Buffer/Debuffer. I took it as a challenge and decided to try and design a playable character that filled (at least somewhat) all those roles.

 

Thus was born Feedback. He is a Mentalist (though he doesn't call himself that) and Gadgeteer. His powersuit boosts DEX and SPD rather than STR. His telepathy and other mental powers are no range. He has a Battlestaff that lets him do buffs and debuffs as well as attacks. But he is not powerless without it.

 

His biggest lack that I can see is not having a real travel power. I figure he hitches a lot of rides.

 

Tell me what you think.

 

Feedback

Roman Herzog, aka Gabriel Stewart

 

Cost Characteristic

Value Roll Notes

5 STR 15 12- Lift: 200.0kg; Dice: HTH Damage 3d6 END [1]

30 DEX 20/29 13- / 15- OCV 7/10 DCV 7/10

26 CON 23 14-

10 BODY 15 12-

18 INT 28 15- PER Roll 15-

20 EGO 20 13- ECV: 7

0 PRE 10 11- PRE Attack: 2d6

0 COM 10 11-

2 PD 8/18 8/18 PD (3/13 rPD)

0 ED 8/18 8/18 ED (3/13 rED)

10 SPD 4/6 Phases: 3, 6, 9, 12/2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12

4 REC 10 Mental Defense: 6

0 END 46/80 Running: 6" (12" NC)

0 STUN 35 Swimming: 2" (4" NC)

 

Cost

Powers END

 

20 Synaptic Manipulation: Multipower, 50-point reserve, (50 Active Points); all slots Auras must overlap throughout use of power (2cm range) (-1), Concentration, Must Concentrate throughout use of Constant Power (1/2 DCV; -1/2)

2u 1) Synaptic Synchronization: Telepathy 10d6 5

2u 2) Synaptic Realignment: Mind Control 8d6, Telepathic (+1/4) 5

2u 3) Synaptic Disruption: Ego Attack 2 1/2d6, Continuous (+1) 5

 

11 Synaptic Reinforcement: (Total: 11 Active Cost, 11 Real Cost) +6 Mental Defense (10 points total) (Real Cost: 6) plus Power Defense (5 points) (Real Cost: 5)

1 Synaptic Refresh: Life Support (Sleeping: Character only has to sleep 8 hours per week)

0 Mental Awareness:

 

PowerSuit, all slots OIF (Powersuit; -1/2)

20 1) Kevflex: Armor (10 PD/10 ED) (30 Active Points);

18 2) Reaction Enhancers I: +9 DEX (27 Active Points);

13 3) Reaction Enhancers II: +2 SPD (20 Active Points);

11 4) BioElectric Capacitor: +34 END (17 Active Points);

8 5) JumpJets: Leaping +12" (3"/15" forward, 1 1/2"/7 1/2" upward) (12 Active Points) 1

7 6) Bonding Pads: Clinging (normal STR) (10 Active Points);

 

25 Feedback Staff: Multipower, 63-point reserve, (63 Active Points); all slots OAF (; -1), Only on Humans (-1/2)

2u 1) Synaptic Degrader: Drain DEX 3d6 (standard effect: 9 points) plus Drain SPD 3d6+1 (standard effect: 10 points) 6

2u 2) Synaptic Enhancer: Aid SPD 3d6+1 (standard effect: 10 points) plus Aid DEX 3d6 (standard effect: 9 points)

2u 3) Synaptic Overload: Hand-To-Hand Attack +10d6, Reduced Endurance (1/2 END; +1/4) (62 Active Points); Hand-To-Hand Attack (-1/2), 2

2u 4) Synaptic Lockdown: Entangle 3d6, 3 DEF, Cannot Be Escaped With Teleportation (+1/4), Takes No Damage From Attacks Physical (+1/4), Works Against EGO Not STR (+1/2) No Range (-1/2), Cannot Form Barriers (-1/4) 6

2u 5) Synaptic Regeneration: Healing STUN 6d6 (60 Active Points); 6

 

13 BioElectric Gauntlets: Multipower, 40-point reserve, (40 Active Points); all slots OAF: Charge Crystal (-1), Activation Roll 14- (-1/2), 8 Charges (-1/2)

1u 1) BioElectric Sting: Hand-To-Hand Attack +8d6

2u 2) BioElectric Blast: Energy Blast 8d6

 

 

Talents

5 Eidetic Memory

6 Combat Luck (3 PD/3 ED)

4 Speed Reading (x10)

 

4 Martial Dodge 1/2 -- +5 Dodge, Affects All Attacks, Abort

 

Skills

3 Acrobatics 13- (15-)

3 Conversation 11-

5 Cramming

3 Electronics 15-

Everyman Skills

AK: Home country or region 8-

Acting 8-

Climbing 8-

Concealment 8-

Deduction 8-

English (idiomatic; Literate) (4 Active Points)

PS: Inventor (Everyman Skill) 11-

Shadowing 8-

Stealth 8-

TF: Small Motorized Ground Vehicles

3 Inventor 15-

3 Mechanics 15-

3 Paramedics 15-

3 Persuasion 11-

Scientist

SS: BioChemistry 15- (3 Active Points)

SS: Biology 11- (2 Active Points)

SS: Biophysics 16- (4 Active Points)

SS: Psychology 11- (2 Active Points)

SS: Cybernetics 15- (3 Active Points)

SS: Neurology 15- (3 Active Points)

 

200+ Disadvantages

 

20 Hunted: Cabal (Appropriate psi group) 8- (Mo Pow, NCI, Harshly Punish)

20 Hunted: Mystery (Scientific Group From Parents' Past) 8- (Mo Pow, NCI, Harshly Punish)

5 Money: Poor

10 Physical Limitation: Altered Physiology (Infrequently, Greatly Impairing)

20 Psychological Limitation: Code v. Killing (Common, Total)

15 Psychological Limitation: Emotionally Unstable (Very Common, Moderate)

10 Social Limitation: Buried Identity: Roman Herzog (Occasionally, Major)

15 Social Limitation: Secret ID: Gabriel Stewart (Frequently, Major)

15 Susceptibility: in Strong Electrical Fields, 1d6 damage per Phase (Uncommon)

20 Vulnerability: 2 x STUN From Electricity (Common)

0 Experience Points

 

Characteristics Cost 125 Base Points 200

Powers Cost 166 Disadvantages 150

Talents Cost 15 Experience Points 0

Perks Cost 0 Total Points 200+150+0

Martial Arts Cost 4

Skills Cost 40

Total Cost 350

 

Hair Color Black

Eye Color Brown

Height 1.82 m/6' 0"

Weight 78 kg/172 lbs

 

Background

Roman was born in 1980 in East Germany before the fall of the wall. His parents were both scientists for the DDR government. In 1983 they, along with Roman, successfully defected to the West and ended up in the US. In 1985 they were both assassinated by an unknown killer. Roman was raised by an American associate of his parents, a biophysicist named Dr. Felicia Moss. She was kind, but some what distant. Roman always felt like she was waiting for something that never happened. Moss never spoke much of Roman's parents. When he was a teen and started searching to find out more about them all German records were lost during the Reunification, and the American ones were classified at the highest level.

 

Other than these trials Roman had a fairly normal childhood. When he was 18 and preparing to go to college he was stricken with an unknown malady that caused tremors, palsy, and other neuro-muscular symptoms. Moss took Roman to a series of doctors, none of whom were able to diagnose or treat the problems. One neurologist suggested a somewhat experimental form of EEG biofeedback, a therapy technique that presents the user with realtime feedback on brainwave activity in order for the user to gain conscious control of brainwave activity. The system worked with unprecedented rapidity and with apparently complete success. In less than two months Roman was completely recovered.

 

When Roman was hooked up to the EEG he gained almost complete conscious awareness of his body's neurological activity, not just in his brain, but throughout his body. He found that with an effort he could not only trace the individual and aggregate neural impulses, but could control them as well. He was able to correct the synaptic imbalances in his body. Over time he realized he could achieve this level of awareness without the use of the EEG and other equipment. Eventually Roman discovered that when in very close proximity to another person he could sense their neurological impulses. He was working with his doctor when he realized that by mapping the doctor's brain patterns in his own brain he could understand what the doctor was thinking. With practice he learned that he could actually match the memory patterns from the doctor's brain in his own, learning what the doctor knew with out studying it. Over the course of his treatments, Roman gained the equivalent of a M.D. with a specialty in Neurology from his physician.

 

Roman spent the next several months recovering from his treatments at home with his adopted mother. During that time Roman explored the possibilities of his new found power. He studied meditation and biofeedback techniques and reordered his entire nervous system, bringing it to the limits of human perfection, and possibly beyond. He learned to perfect his memory so that he never forgot anything. He improved his reaction time and his reflexes to human peak. He lessened his need for sleep and increased his cognitive input capacity tenfold.

 

During this time he also delved into his mother's memories learning a great deal about biophysics and biochemistry. He discovered that his mother worked for a secret government agency, the same agency that had sponsored his real parent's defection. She had adopted Roman because she suspected that he had been the subject of his parent's experiments in biophysical enhancement while in utero. She had not told anyone of her suspicions. She now assumed his condition was caused by his parents failed experiments. She was depressed because she had little hope of the breakthrough she wad once dreamed he represented. When Roman requested he be given his college fund to enable him to spend some time traveling and completing his recovery, Moss agreed, closing the book in her own mind on what she saw as the end of her own dreams of scientific success.

 

From 2000 to 2003 Roman executed his plan to make himself rich and give his life stability. He traveled the country attending scientific conferences and lectures, gleening knowledge of science and engineering from the minds of the world's experts. From these he designed and built a number of devices which he patented and licensed to biotech and medical technology companies. He built up quite a portfolio and was getting a little bored. Without a formal education he was refused entre in to the society of scientists he now considered his peers. During this time he had discovered that not only could he map the synaptic patterns of others onto his own mind, he could reshape their synaptic patters causing them to think, feel, and remember what he wanted them to. He began to contemplate using this ability to force the world to give him what he wanted.

 

In 2004 Roman's world collapsed around him. While strolling through the minds of the attendees at a high tech conference, Roman chanced upon a mind he could not access. Worse the person was an evil telepath, part of an organized cabal of telepaths who did not appreciate one who they considered a rogue. This group began hunting for Roman. He was able to resist their mental commands by reinforcing his own synaptic patterns, but was forced into hiding. After a months-long chase around the world, where the Cabal was able to steal his savings and patents and cut him off from all support, Roman faked his own death in a very public fashion. His controlled pawns had a body cremated in his place. The Cabal thought him dead, for the moment.

 

Roman realized he needed to find a place to hide and allies should the Cabal resume their hunt. He decided to take on a new identity, a very public one, as a superhero. Using the last of his savings built himself battlesuit and weapons. He controlled mid-level civil servants to create a new identity and planned a way to win his way into the Champions. With them at his back, the Cabal should not be a problem.

 

 

Personality

Roman is a strange mixture of all-American boy and manipulative mad scientist. He pictures himself as just a guy like any other, just one with a short-cut to get what he wants. His absorbed brain patterns from so many older scientists have affected his base personality. The idea of becoming a superhero and gaining public recognition and acclaim appeals to his some what emotionally stunted ego and he has put his considerable mental energy towards making it happen. But even that he approaches with a somewhat detached and clinical mindset. His growing tendency to get what he wants by controlling people is beginning to corrupt him. The stress of the long ordeal with the Cabal has also taken its toll on him. Finding his mother looked upon him as a failed experiment, arranging his own death, seeing himself cremated, and being reborn as a new person has all left him very confused. He is looking for something, someone, to show him the way out and bake to a "normal" life.

 

Quote

I am NOT a telepath!

 

Powers

Roman has the ability to perceive and control neurological impulses and activity, both his own and those of others. He has used this to restructure his mind, granting himself superhuman intelligence and near human maximum reflexes and reaction time. He is a master of several scientific and engineering fields. He has created a battle suit that offers protection and further enhances his coordination and reaction time and a weapon that allows him to boost his synaptic control capabilities. With it he can affect neurological efficiency. Effects include an increase or decrease in coordination and reaction time of himself and others, repairing temporary neurological shock, imposing palsy, and overloading a target's neurological system causing temporary damage. As Feedback, Roman has developed an acrobatic combat style that incorporates jump jets and bonding pads to make it possible to close on an opponent while avoiding attacks against himself.

[pinecone]

Re: Character Critique Corner

 

The only thing that jumps out as a Hey! is not spending 10 points on MA...looks kinda cool otherwise...I dont Like buffer types in general, so I'll remain moot on that part...