Cnr

[quozaxx]

"Weird Al" Yankovic made a funny song about Charles Nelson Riley. I will print the lyrics below.

 

Charles Nelson Riley was a mighty man, the kind of man you’d never disrespect. He stood 8 foot tall, wore glasses, and he had a third nipple on the back of his neck. He ate his whole weight in coal and excreted diamonds every day. He could throw you down a flight of stairs, but you would still love him anyway. Yeah, you know you’d love him anyway, oh.

 

Charles Nelson Riley won the Tour de France with two flat tires and a missing chain. He trained a rattle snake to do his laundry, I’m telling you the man was insane. He could rip out your beating heart and show it to you right before you died. Every day he’d make the host of Match Game give him a piggyback ride! Yeah, 2-hour piggyback ride. Giddy-up Gene.

 

A ninja warrior, master of disguise, He could melt your brain with his laser beam eyes. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. He had his own line at the DMV. He made sweet, sweet love to a manatee. Oh, yeah!, Oh yeah that was something to see, I tell ya.

 

Charles Nelson Riley sold his toenail clippings as a potent aphrodisiac. He ran a 4 minute mile with an engine block strapped to his back. He can eat more frozen waffles than any other man I know. Once he fell off the Chrysler Building and barely even stubbed his toe. Had a tiny little scratch on his toe. Didn’t even hurt!

 

Charles Nelson Riley figured out cold fusion, but he never ever told a soul. I’ve seen the man unhinge his jaw and swallow a Volkswagen whole. He’d bash your face in with a shovel if you didn’t treat him like a star. ‘Cause you can spit in the wind, tug on Superman’s cape, but Lord knows you don’t mess with CNR.

 

 

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Now how many powers, skills, and even Complications can you find in this song?