Prime

Re: Stronghold (Alt World) Europe does have the highest concentration of supers in this campaign world - at least to start. One of the prisoners had the ability to open wormholes back in time, which may come into play depending on how the campaign unfolds.

In case anyone is curious, here is some info on the Hero System Superhero Campaign I'm just kicking off with some local players set in an alternative universe. Introduction: You are part of Beta Force, a team of paranormal guards stationed at Stronghold, a prison holding some of the country’s most dangerous supervillains. Together with your teammate, Green Julius, you deal with any problems the security drones can’t handle in the medium-security section of the prison. Even with the high-tech equipment, security drones, and power suppression collars, maintaining control over a diverse group of egotistical supervillains is more than a full time job. To make things a bit easier, Julius put one of the prisoners, a former thug for the Scorcini family named Gristlebeard, to work riding herd on the other inmates in exchange for special treatment. You suspected that plan had backfired when some of the other inmates began reporting to medical with suspicious broken ribs and bruises, but none were willing to identify their attacker. Perhaps you should have pushed harder, because this morning, one of your inmates was found dead. A nineteen-year-old kid, calling himself Shockjack, who was barely old enough to shave and as skinny as a twig. You had just begun your investigation into the death when three robotic security drones spontaneously opened fire on Gristlebeard. You triggered an emergency deactivation of the drones, but before you could take them down to maintenance, the lights started flickering and a voice seemingly made from static but eerily similar in tone to the newly deceased Shockjack erupted over the prison-wide intercom raving, "It’s time for payback!" You were horrified to discover the emergency deactivated code had stopped working as the remaining nine drones on your level began darting into cells – the doors spontaneously opening just long enough for them to enter – and opening fire on the helpless inmates. Your frantic calls to central command resulted merely in orders to "Hold and await further orders." Before you could decide to disobey the entire level goes dark as the lights are cut off. Stronghold Information: Stronghold is an underground prison set into the side of Mount Kaala, Oahu’s tallest peak, sitting 4,010 feet above sea level on the northern most end of the island. It was chosen because the nearby Naval yard at Pearl Harbor allows the possibility of an emergency naval bombardment of the prison if necessary to prevent its most dangerous inmates’ escape and the geographically isolated nature of the island limits escape routes. Oahu is sparsely populated with no tourist industry. This is due in part to it being the United State’s westernmost military base and the constant threat that Imperial Japan will again try to expand its empire. It is also due to the notoriety of having a prison for the world’s most dangerous supervillains present (Yet underground so tourists can’t visit) and the difficulty in shipping supplies through the Freeboater-infested waters. NOTABLE NPCS: ALPHA TEAM – Paranormal Guards in charge of Maximum Security Prisoners Captain Patriot One of America’s first successful (and most popular) agents, he fought in both World Wars. While the super serum has dramatically slowed the physical aging of his body, his short term memory has deteriorated to the point that it is no longer safe to allow him to fight crime. His job with Alpha team was viewed by Congress as a form of ‘retirement’ for such an honored figure in U.S. history. Known Powers: Super Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Admantium Shield Golem One of Russia’s first paranormals. He was the only survivor when a cloud of Germany’s Agent X drifted through his village during the Battle of Bolimov during WWI. The gas transformed him into living stone and it took weeks for him to even discover how to move his new body. He proceeded to launch a one-man campaign of revenge against the Germans. When the Romanovs signed a peace treaty with Germany, the Golem simply moved further west and continued his campaign. During the lull between the two World Wars, the Golem became an international fugitive for his repeated attempts to assassinate Claus Gernot, the German inventor of Agent X. However, following the end of WWII and the public revelations of Gernot’s horrifying experiments, Golem became an international hero. The French insisted the Golem be placed on staff at Stronghold to keep an eye on its most infamous criminal, Doctor Destruction. Known Powers: Super Strength, Armor, Full Life Support Flexor A mildly successful agent, you suspect he was placed on staff here by the CIA or FBI for their own purposes. He has been quite successful at revealing nothing about himself or his past without appearing unfriendly. Known Powers: Stretching, Armor BETA TEAM – Paranormal Guards in charge of Medium Security Prisoners Green Julius – Stronghold Guard and Member of the Beta Force One of the prison’s paranormal guards, his skin took on a jolly-green giant coloration after his paranormal powers manifested. He is known for being short-tempered and somewhat lazy, prefering to cut corners when possible. He also loves bragging about the new boat he recently purchased. Known Powers: Super Strength, Armor (Also, both of your characters are part of Beta Team) OTHER STRONGHOLD STAFF Warden Bilkins A lifelong federal bureaucrat, he was appointed by the President to his current position as the ultimate authority over the running of Stronghold. He is known for his steadfast belief that the smooth flow of paperwork is the key to any effective organization. As such, he has carefully devised forms, to be filled out in triplicate, and a 2000 page procedure manual to deal with any foreseeable situation. Despite all evidence to the contrary, he continues to suffer the delusion that all of Stronghold’s employees have memorized and dutifully follow the procedure manual. Old Nate Stronghold’s resident mechanic and handyman, he was badly burned in an escape attempt by Inferno nearly a decade ago. The risk of infection and his own self-consciousness has caused Nate to seal himself within a modified suit of obsolete power-armor he scavenged from the base storerooms. Juryrig Johnson Stronghold’s oldest surviving multipurpose droid. While maintenance and security functions have since been divided between two different specialized lines of droids, Juryrig had been designed for adaptability. He has been badly damaged a dozen times over the decades of his service and with no replacement parts available, was worked on as a hobby by Old Nate. He no longer has any official duties and is treated primarily as a mascot of sorts. Prototype A recent arrival, Prototype was said to be the ‘next generation’ of security droid with the most advanced artificial intelligence programming yet created. However, when he was brought into Warden Bilkins’ office and turned on, he just stood there without responding to any commands. Bilkins ordered Old Nate to haul the piece of junk down to his office and ‘get him working’. So far, nothing Nate has done has fixed the problem and Nate is starting to wondering if the problem might be as simple as Prototype not wanting to work for the Warden. Known Powers: Integral blaster, Armor, self-repairing MINIMUM SECURITY PRISONERS Ratkin A short thin fearful man, Ratkin has the paranormal ability to telepathically control and communicate with all forms of rodents, including seeing through their eyes and hearing through their ears. Of average intellect, though with a certain animal cunning, prior to incarceration he used his gifts merely for petty blackmail and to plan minor heists. Rumor has it his power supression collar was deactivated by Warden Bilkins, in exchange Ratkin uses his powers to spy on both his fellow inmates and the Stronghold employees for the warden. Known Powers: Telepathy (rats), Mind Scan (rats), Summon (rats), Mind Control (rats), Mind Link (rats) Don Scorcini Former head of the once powerful Scorcini crime family. After the Don’s imprisonment twelve years ago, rival mafia families whittled away at the Scorcini family’s area of influence and eventually drove the survivors into exile. The Don has managed to survive three separate assassination attempts, twice by fellow inmates and once by a corrupt guard. He is known to be a brilliant tactician. Prior to his imprisonment, he was known for being one of the more compassionate mob bosses, going out of his way to ensure innocent victims weren’t hurt during hits and avoiding needless torture. However, he is said to have become extremely bitter as he waited helpessly behind bars as his life’s work was stolen away from him. Known Powers: Super Strength, Armor, Immunity to Poisons Witchhazel Able to project illusions into the minds of others, Witchhazel used her powers to climb the corporate ladder in the cut-throat world of Wallstreet finance. She used her powers with great subtly, changing the images on computer screens, notes, and even the voices heard over the phone to sabotage the careers of any who stood in her way. Her manipulation of the stock market caused a short-lived panic that prompted the investigation that eventually resulted in her imprisonment. She has so far served four years of a seven year term for her multi-million dollar frauds. Known Powers: Mental Illusions Crackerjack A safecracker and locksmith with a paranormal gift for seeing through solid objects, his impressive collection of rare artworks, jewelry, and fine wines (all stolen) made major news headlines around the world when he was apprehended at his luxurious South American villa. Known Powers: N-Ray Vision MEDIUM SECURITY PRISONERS Woodsman A powerful telepath, prior to imprisonment he never learned to shield his mind from the thoughts of others. To try to escape the constant barrage, he fled into an isolated valley deep within a National Park. However, when campers or tourists approached too close, the telepathic noise would drive the Woodsman into a murderous frenzy. Twenty-seven people met a grisly end before the Woodsman was apprehended. Since arriving at Stronghold, he has received extensive psychiatric counseling and finally learned to shield his mind. However, he still views the power suppression collar as a miracle and argued vigorously against his own release at his last parole hearing. He spends his days happily as the prison librarian. Known Powers: Telepathy, Mind Scan Inferno With the power to transform himself into living flame, as well as hurl blasts of flame at will, Inferno’s powers manifested during high school when a group of bullies were pushing his head down towards a bubbling deep fat fryer in the school cafeteria. He subsequently burned down the school, though the evidence is unclear whether he intended to do so or whether he simply hadn’t gained control of his powers yet. Even though he was only sixteen, he was tried as an adult and given multiple life sentences for the classmates killed in the incident. He has been in Stronghold for the past thirty years. He has made only one escape attempt, when he managed to trick Old Nate into loosening his collar, which resulted in Nate being badly burned and several droids destroyed before he was pacified. Known Powers: Flame blasts, fiery damage shield, desolid to physical attacks when in flame form Mad Dog An experimental super-serum gone wrong is said to have created Mad Dog. He was found to be uncontrollable, even by the military’s rigorous techniques. To keep the general public ‘safe’, the military placed him in stronghold. To the best of your knowledge, he has not been convicted of or even committed any crimes and he is not particularly happy to have been unjustly imprisoned without trial. Known Powers: Admantium claws, Regeneration, Mental Defense, Immunity to all drugs, toxins, and diseases Hand of God The unfortunate result when a young girl from a fanatically religious family suddenly develops paranormal abilities. Her reign of vigilanti justice horrified Salt Lake city. Particularly since she met out ‘biblical’ vengeance for even relatively minor crimes. Known Powers: Super dexterity and speed, clinging, mental defense, luck MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISONERS Patient Zero A geneticist working on bio-weapons for the U.S. military, she went mad after her project was cancelled. She injected herself with the ‘carrier’ version of one of her bio-weapons then preceded to deliberately infect people in seven major cities, resulting in over four million deaths before extreme measures managed to contain it. The zombie virus has the effect of replacing all the victim’s emotions with an irresistable hunger for living flesh, dulling their pain receptors, and accelerating their metabolism. Even though Patient Zero has been in Stronghold for seven years, new outbreaks of the virus still periodically occur in isolated sections of Africa and Eastern Europe. While there is a steady clamor for Patient Zero’s execution, her blood is a required ingredient in the creation of the only known cure for the virus. She is said to have a limited control over the infected, able to walk among them unmolested and ‘push them’ in a general direction or at a desired target when they are nearby. Known Powers: Infectious Transform (into zombies) that is always on, touch range, Mind control of zombies Fault Line A paranormal with the unusual ability to trigger latent fault lines. Her attempt to hold San Francisco for ransom by threatening it with earthquakes backfired horribly, sparking a massive earthquake that resulted in a third of the California coastline sinking into the ocean. She is rumored to be guilt-stricken by her act. Known Powers: Trigger seismic event Father Time A paranormal with the unique ability to create wormholes into the past. His attempt to change the outcome of the Civil War by smuggling a thousand AK-47s back in time failed when the Russian ammo turned out to be mostly duds, resulting in an outraged Confederate private shooting him in the back during the battle of Bull Run. When Father Time returned to the present for modern medical care, he was promptly arrested and placed in Stronghold. Disturbing rumors have surfaced that Doctor Destruction has become a mentor of sorts to Father Time during his long years of imprisonment. There is no other known individual with the ability to travel back in time. However, the President was so horrified by the history of the nation almost be rewritten, that he financed the construction of experimental ‘temporal stabilizers’ to be installed at the White House and Pentagon. Known Powers: Create stable wormholes in time, manipulate personal temporal field Doctor Destruction Claus Gernot, Germany’s first hyperintelligent paranormal, his scientific experiments on prisoners of war horrified the world after the regime’s fall. He was given the death penalty for his crimes during the Nuremberg trials. Unfortunately, it turned out to be easier to pronounce sentence than enact it. Every means of execution attempted failed and the allies were reduced to hoping he would eventually die of old age. That, however, does not appear to be happening. Known Powers: Armor, Regeneration, Full Life Support, Super Intelligence, Transfer paranormal powers (Permanent, requires surgery), Energy Blast, Flight CHARACTER GENERATION Character Generation Information 5th Edition Hero System Player-Selected Base Points: 200 Player-Selected Disadvantages: 100 Maximum Points From Any One Category of Disadvantage = 50 Characteristics Range = 10-30 Speed = 3-8 OCV and DCV = 7-13 Damage Class = 6-14 Active Points = 40-80 Skill Points = 25-80 Skill Roll = 11- to 15- Defense = 15-25 Resistant Defense = 10-25 Barred: Extra-Dimensional Movement Clairsentience Desolidication Faster-than-Light Travel Megascale Advantage Variable Power Pools Elemental Controls Types of Paranormals: Gen-X The chemical weapon Agent X worked by activating latent DNA in exposed humans. It affected each patient differently, but the result was fatal or crippling in 90% of cases. A very small number of those exposed immediately developed paranormal abilities. However, the activated genes were passed on to the children of the survivors who developed paranormal abilities at a much higher rate. Over twenty-percent of the children of survivors of Agent X exposure would eventually develop superhuman abilities. Mutants Mutants are completely different from the Gen-X. While Gen-X had the latent DNA for their powers that only needed to be awakened, the mutants have had their DNA twisted by exposure to nuclear radiation, primarily by being too close to the Berlin or London bomb sites. They are much more likely to have their paranormal abilities accompanied by disfiguring physical anomalies. Agents Primarily volunteers, these individuals were deliberately ‘transformed’ into paranormals, usually through one of the military research projects into developing ‘super serums’. The old WWII serums had a number of side effects that did not show up until years or even decades later. However, the technology has continued to be steadily refined for improved long-term surviability. Contaminants A general term for those whose method of creation can’t be reliably reproduced. They may have been injected with an experimental antidote to Agent X that interacted with lingering radiation at a bomb site or simply be a scientist whose experiment went dangerously wrong. WORLD BACKGROUND Major Technology Deviations Internet and Computers: While the United States has its own internet, there is no ‘world wide’ web. Each country maintains its own isolated communication network. Windows and the idea of an ‘icon-based’ interface never developed. Computers remain based exclusively on text and never became ‘user friendly. Computers remain primarily a tool of the highly educated. Batteries The invention of the Gernot battery transformed the world. The battery is capable of containing enormous amounts of power nearly indefinately. It has resulted in electric cars, power armor, and blaster-weaponry becoming feasible. Anti-aircraft lasers powered by the batteries has sharply reduced the use of aircraft on the battlefield. Refugees from WWII who were denied entrance to their destination country (called Freeboaters) power their floating homes and desalination machines with the batteries, allowing them to survive independently in international waters. Unfortunately, the Freeboaters have turned to piracy to buy needed supply and caused the oceans to become unsafe to all but heavily armed convoys. Blasters The creation of the Gernot crystal ushered in a new era of blaster weaponry. When exposed to electricity, the crystal emits a focusable blast of heat, light, and kinetic force. Placed in the proper solution in the proper conditions, a single crystal shard will quickly replicate itself. Major Countries of the World: Japan Japan’s population was never exposed to Agent X or nuclear radiation. As such, their metahuman population consists of a small number of deliberately created agents. The Japanese imperial government currently rules over Japan, half of China, and Great Britain’s former Asian colonies. It has stablized its control over the territory gained in the Asian Conflict and it is feared that it may be ready for another campaign of expansion. Of concern to you is that Pearl Harbor, next to the island of Oahu where your PCs are located, is the United States western-most line of defense against any Japanese aggression. Russia Russia, with its large population of metahumans subject to mandatory military service, remains focused on exterminating the surviving communists who continue to launch terrorist attacks on their forces throughout their half of occupied China. The Tzar rules over Russia and the western half of China. Tzar Nicholas is now over a 140 years old and it is common knowledge that Russia’s only meta-intellect is devoted exclusively to keeping him alive through any means necessary. Still, rumors persist that the Tzar has been replaced by everything from a robotic duplicate to a metahuman shapeshifter. Canada With London destroyed by a nuclear bomb and Britain’s Asian colonies lost to Japan, half the population of the United Kingdom fled enmass to the safety of Canada. Japan, more interested in land than its prior inhabitants, were happy to ‘encourage’ the mass exodus from their new conquests. The result has been a much more heavily populated, and productive, northern neighbor. Unfortunately, a small percentage of the new arrivals blamed the Americans for the destruction of London and Canadian terrorists regularly launch terrorist activities across the border. United States While several thousand American volunteers were exposed to Agent X during both World Wars, the lack of a major ground offensive allowed the United States to escape the large-scale exposure of Britain, France, Germany, and Russia. However, the U.S. has much larger populations of both Contaminants and Agents due to the rush into mass-production of experimental serums and antidotes. It also has a small populations of Mutants due to mishaps during nuclear bomb production and the rush to mass-production of enriched Uranium during the post-war years. Germany The unity of Germany’s paranormal population was shattered at the conclusion of WWII when the activities of Doctor Destruction (Claus Gernot) came to light. During the war, Gernot deliberately exposed thousands of prisoners of war and native dissidents to new formulas of Agent X, resulting in the vast majority dying. In addition, however, he had successfully developed methods of surgically transplanting superpowers from one individual to another. A technique which he used repeatedly to enhance his own abilities. This research was particularly terrifying his fellow paranormals. With Germany’s paranormal community deeply fractured, the republic imposed on the country by the Allies has miraculously survived. Indeed, the country to slowly but steadily recovering from the loss of Berlin and the numerous paranormals (A higher percentage than anywhere else in the world) are becoming steadily more integrated into German society. France When the French non-paranormal population learned the entire war had been a ruse to expose them to Agent X in hopes a parnormal elite would rise to power in France, they were understandably outraged. Unfortunately, they turned their anger on the innocent French paranormals who had their own reasons to feel like victims. French paranormals have developed a deep victim mentality, which is only reinforced by the French government deliberately isolating them in concentrated suburbs outside the major cities and the discrimination they experience whenever they apply for jobs or interact with France’s non-paranormals. Major Timeline Deviations: World War 1 On January 3, 1915, 18,000 German artillery shells containing an experimental poison gas (Agent X) were fired on Russian positions on the Rawka River, west of Warsaw during the Battle of Bolimov to devastating effect. The formula of Agent X was the invention of Claus Gernot, one of Germany’s foremost scientists. This was Germany’s first large-scale use of chemical weaponry. Its success allowed the Central Powers offense on the Eastern front to advance beyond the Vistula River. However, Gernot was accidently exposed to the gas when a defective shell misfired and spent the remainder of the war in a coma. When Gernot finally awoke, the gas had transformed him into Germany’s first hyper-intelligent paranormal. Following German advances, the Russian royal family, the Romanovs, reluctantly signed a peace treaty that included a significant concession of territory along its western border. This act, while controversial, freed the Russian military to put down the growing communist threat. Tzar Nicholas II took a direct hand in leading the military’s suppression of the Russian communists. When members of the military began to manifest paranormal powers (due to low-level Agent X exposure), it was taken as a sign of God blessing the Tzar’s rule and the communist revolution began to falter. Thousands of Russian communists were driven eastward into China. Only after the war’s end did scientific research reveal a link between Russia’s new ‘supers’ and their past exposure to the German’s mysterious Agent X. The United States declared war on Germany in April of 1917. The apparent success of the 1915 gas attack had led to a refocusing of military strategy on both sides of the conflict and the mass-production of several new variants of Agent X. The allied fleets unleashed a continual barrage of poison gas against the Central Powers. Both sides rushed experimental antidotes into production to mitigate the effects of chemical warfare. However, by November 11, 1918, the Central Power’s ability to function as a military force had collapsed and an armastice was signed. The effects of both the chemical weapons and experimental antidotes would be felt for decades to come as they created hundreds of new paranormals among those exposed. The Treaty of Versailles, signed in July of 1919 forbid German production of the massive artillery batteries that had been used to deliver poison gas shells during the war. Between the World Wars The rise of the Nazis government in Germany, accompanied with their harsh oppression of the paranormal minority, was short lived. The Nazi plans for a mass-extermination of Europe’s paranormal population was quickly learned by the metahuman population. The plans inspired a successful coup that resulted in a paranormal elite seizing control of the German goverment. As more and more details of the Nazi plans for paranormal extermination were uncovered and disseminated, the metahuman population became increasingly united and fell under the sway of a paranormal elite who openly expressed their superiority over ‘normal’ humans. The new German government quickly attempted to get around the limitations of the Treaty of Versailles. German intelligence had guessed as the origins of the Supers and a secret program, led by the Claus Gernot, who would one day become Doctor Destruction, was instituted with the goal of mass producing a core of German ‘super-men’. To get around the restrictions on German artillery, the government explored both self-propelled delivery systems (rockets) and power-armored infantry with flame-thrower-like personal delivery systems. While the idea of power-armor as a chemical weapon delivery system ultimately proved impractical, advances in battery technology by Claus Gernot, Germany’s first hyper-intelligent paranormal, turned the power-armor into a surprisingly effective anti-personnel weapon. The Asian Conflict The Asian Conflict was preceded by the Russio-Japanese pact in which Imperial Russia and Imperial Japan established their respected ‘spheres of influence’ in Asia. The Russian Tzar had grown increasingly irritated by the terrorist attacks the exiled Russian communists regularly launched from the safe haven of Communist-dominated China. Russia and Japan launched simultaneous invasions of a China still in the midst of a Communist revolution. Once China was largely subdued, Japan took advantage of the outbreak of World War II to turn its attention to Britain’s Asian colonies. The United States protested vigorously, but preoccupied with the European conflict was powerless to intervene. World War II While German propaganda would later claim that the German-French conflict was a matter of land and natural resources, in truth the conflict was merely a means by the German paranormal elite to ‘increase their numbers’ in the hopes that similar paranormal revolutions would result in their ‘kind’ seizing control of the major industrial powers of the world. To that end, Germany had modified their chemical weapon formulas to maximize the probability that those exposed would develop paranormal powers. In essence, they were willing to give their enemies a major military advantage to ‘spread the faith’ of paranormal supremacy. The German-French conflict began with the Germans launching a massive chemical weapon rocket barrage of the Maginot Line that forced the French defenders to huddle in the underground infantry reserve shelters as German infantry (in special protective gear), Panzer Infantry (in battery-powered iron-man-style personal armor), and German paranormals overran the French positions. While many of the smaller European countries chose to maintain their neutrality, the United Kingdom and United States immediately declared war on the German aggressors. The French responded with a massive gas attack of their own, but the German military’s front-line troops were well-protected from this form of attack. While civilian casualties from the drifting mixing toxic clouds were high, the German military avoid serious disruption. In a matter of months, France was overrun. Germany, however, proved unable to cross any significant numbers of forces across the channel and the conflict dwindled into a matter of German air-strikes and Allied coastal bombardments for a time. Russia eventually signed a secret alliance with the Allied powers. The allies recognized Russia as the ‘rightful’ oversee of their half of occupied China and agreed to recognize Russia as the ‘rightful’ owner of the territory seized by Germany in the first World War. In return, Russia declared war against Germany and opened an eastern front. German paranormals intercepted a British bomber carrying a U.S. made nuclear bomb on its way to be dropped on Berlin. After a thorough analysis, the nuclear bomb was detonated in the heart of London. Germany’s joy at the humbling of their persistent foe was short lived in that a second US-made Nuclear bomb was successfully detonated in Berlin three weeks later. Faced with the threat of additional nuclear strikes, the German High Command came to the negotiating table. Germany agreed to turn over two dozen of its most notorious war criminals (including Claus Gernot who, although in a deep coma, was found alive at the center of the nuclear blast zone in Berlin), to return all seized territory, and to adopt a democratic constitution. The devastation wrecked by the United States new superweapon was enough to convince Tzar Nicholas to abide by his agreement with the allies.

The Great Experiment (Where Prime's secret plot is almost thwarted by his cunning rival, the mysterious Jaxton Gray) With a soft grinding, the whirling sphere of cosmic energy dug into the hard earth, tearing the rock apart and compacting it into dense pebbles behind him as Prime walked slowly forward. It had taken weeks of effort to reach this far. But soon. Very soon. His plan would reach its ultimate fruition. He finally paused as a bit of cleared concrete revealed a red brick façade. Holding a mini-flashlight up with his tail, he unfolded the map, making the necessary calculations. Yes. It was here. Soon he would have all the tools and supplies he would need for his ultimate creation! “Muhahahaha!†rang out just once in the cramped tunnel before he slapped a paw over his mouth and reminded himself that maniacal laughter was something only villains were supposed to do and was definitely not conductive to a stealthy operation. Now that he was at his goal, he would require other tools. A quick jog to where he left a little child-size red wagon laden with tools a few yards behind him was all that was required. A few carefully placed screws, hinges, and metal bands. Some careful work with a file. And voila, a newly installed ‘secret door’ into his destination was in place. Nearly undetectable to mere human eyes due to his superhuman reflexes and small nimble fingers. With a quick shove, a monkey-size portion of the brick façade swung outwards, revealing a dark silent basement filled with cardboard boxes and wooden crates. A narrow wooden staircase led up to a trapdoor. A trapdoor conveniently bare of any form of lock or bar. Very very carefully he lifted the trap door. At 3 a.m., the place should be deserted. But, he didn’t want to take any chances now. Not after weeks of effort. Silent. Dark. Clear. Finally, he could get to work. He slipped into a small back room and rifled through the scarred wooden desk wedged into one corner of the makeshift office. Yes! The secret formula! “Muhahahaha!†Oh. Dang it! Prime grimaced as he realized he’d done the whole ‘laughter thing’ again. Boy, this stealth thing is tricky . . . Returning to the main chamber, he let his eyes linger over the vast array of machinery and tools now at his disposal. And all the ingredients were in place. While not a master chemist, he knew how to follow directions and went to work with a precision oft demanded by Professor Herbert. A bit of this. A bit of that. A wave of heat radiated forth as he slammed his palm down on a bright yellow button and slid a metal tray towards the awaiting inferno. Now, nothing to do but wait, Prime sighed, as he settled down in a corner. It was done! He could barely contain his glee as the bubbling oozing creation was released from the depths of the machine. Not even worried about burning his tender paws, he slid his creation into a waiting box and turned to flee the scene of the crime. But wait. There was one last thing to do. He pulled out from one of his robe’s pockets a slim envelope and left it on the desk. Now, time to return to his cell, he thought, as he slid shut the secret door and scampered down the tunnel. As he settled onto a Lazyboy recently ‘liberated’ from the Warden Base’s lounge and lifted the box’s lid, a rich tapestry of smells wafted forth. It was everything he had imagined. Now, for the final culmination of his great plan. “Muhahahaha . . . er . . . ha†he began to laugh as the cell’s rusting steel door slid open at the hand of a rather startled visitor. Jaxton carefully looked over the scene. Okay. Prime was laying on the ‘missing’ recliner. Metallic orange fur – and the fabric beneath him - coated with a thick layer of dirt and grime. A portable tv perched precariously on the foot-rest. An open pizza box resting in his lap as he held up slices in both grubby paws. . . . The manical laughter was definitely a bad sign. Jaxton roughly cleared his throat, then began, “Prime, security reported a disturbance up at the old abandoned prison. . . . Er…. Just return the recliner to the lounge when you are done with it . . . . Um. Wash it first.†Hastily he backed back out of the room. Prime sighed as he reminded himself, next time while doing secret-type stuff, lock the door first, then dug into his home-made fried-banana pizza. His ears perked up as he realized that the ‘secret tunnel’ from the old Alcatraz prison to Mama Mia’s Italian Eatery was still his little secret. Yes! Infinite late night snack runs were still well within his grasp. “Muhahahaha!â€

Re: Order of the Stick One of the funniest comic strips out there. I picked up both the published books.

The Bright Orange Stalker of the Night - Or maybe Not . . . . (Where Prime learns some paranormals aren't cut out to be gothic crime-fighters) Like a gargoyle perched atop the courthouse roof, the black-clad figure silently hunched over the edge of the Winn-Dixie. His dark eyes scanned the cart-strewn asphalt wasteland below like a vulture picking out its next meal. His cape rustled in the gentle breeze, fanning out behind him like a set of ebon wings. Then, the plaintive cry of ‘shoplifter!’ rang out as a figure bolted through the sliding glass doors. At last. Action! With a muffled ‘humph’, the figure dropped to the ground below and let loose with a mighty cry of, “Halt in the name of Batwing Bart, legendary dark hero of nine successful comic series and a line of highly popular decorative plates!†When this battlecry did not, against all probability, have the desired effect, his eyes narrowed and the tension was released with a muffled, ‘Oh. Hamburger. Why doesn’t that work in real life?’, then the figure shrugs and holds his gloved hands out in front of him. Almost instantly, a dozen tendrils of brilliant blue energy course between his outstretched hands, blowing away the gloves in a thousand pieces like a neglected paycheck in the washing machine. The tendrils of energy twined around and danced atop the metallic orange fur beneath as a volley-ball sized sphere of cosmic energy formed between the figure’s paws. A slight shift of the palm, and the sphere hurled towards the fleeing suspected shoplifter, growing as it flies, until the target is encased from ankle to neck in a glowing energy that grows more solid with each passing moment. With a triumphant grin, the caped figure approaches his trussed up prey. Then pauses as realization dawns. “Oh. Um. Sorry Mr. Security Guard. I thought you were. Um. Er. Never mind. I’ll just be on my way . . . .“ With a mighty leap, Prime soars into the sky, cape flapping behind him. Flapping, then unfortunately snagging onto a passing lightpole by an unlucky gust of wind. Instead of a graceful line, Prime found himself flying in an ever tighter circle. There was barely enough time to squawk, “Oh, Sh….†When he found himself face-to-face with the light pole. There was the sound of ripping fabric as the cape gave way beneath the strain and Prime found himself landing with a thud on the concrete below. As stars and planets wheeled overhead, Prime grumbled, “Okay. No capes next time.†His gaze fell on the bits of melted fabric still clinging to the furry backs of his hands and added, “And no gloves. . . . Maybe the whole dark prowler of the night costume thing was a bad idea in general. . . . I wonder if I can get my deposit back at the costume shop. . .†And so began the mighty battle of will and wit between Prime and Mr. Twilliger of the Discount Costume Emporium and Potato Hut. Dark and terrible were the words exchanged that day, as each fought with the ferocity of a starved dog over a fresh bone. But in the end, Prime emerged triumphant, having had to pay the entire replacement cost of the costume, as well as a hefty sum for emotional distress, but in return receiving an all-you-can-eat pass to the potato buffet. An error in judgement that Mr. Twilliger would regret for many long years to come.

The Chase (Where the Warden's newest paranormal learns that crime-fighting is harder than it looks on TV) "Like a spider lurking in his web, the superhero Prime lays in wait atop one of the city's innocuous light poles. His Wardens' communicator locked on to one of the police channels keeping him constantly updated on the lightning fast approach of a stolen armored security van," Prime quietly whispers to himself as he hangs from the outstretched arm of the light pole by his tail and one hind paw. Idly he wonders if experienced superheroes do their own narrating as well. Perhaps that's how the whole 'hero catch phrase' craze got started. Ooooh, he'd need to think up one of his own... "Stop or be Primed!" Doyle squeaks as he lets loose his grip and falls like a bag of wet flour onto the speeding van's windshield. "Ooooommmppph," he gasps as the impact drives all the air from his lungs. Mental note. Leaping onto speeding trucks HURTS. As a final indignity, the windshield wipers start sweeping back and forth, thwapping his nose with each swipe as a jet of cleaning fluid flies into his right ear. Prime manages to gather enough breath to feebly protest, "Hey! Stop that!", but oddly, the armed robbers on the other side of the glass don't immediately pull over to the side of the road and turn themselves in. Okay, Prime notes, plan one didn't work. Time for plan two. Now all I need to do is concentrate and... uh oh... Spider webs of cracks appear in the heavy glass as the two robbers within open fire on the, fortunately, bullet resistant windshield. A quite informative display of popular curse words follows as the criminal duo reaps the bounty of their own leaden gifts before they slump unconscious against their restraining belts. "Superheroics complete. Now to get home in time to do the laundry... oh hey... who put that wall there?" Prime cheerfully notes before realizing the van was headed straight towards the quite attractive brick sidewall of a pleasant little coffee shop known for its especially tasty cinnamon rolls and raspberry danish. Then, with a hearty crush, the heavy armored van and the unyielding brick wall meet for the first time, with only small furry Prime to make introductions. A moment of sheer fear and panic... and Prime suddenly finds himself surrounded by a softly glowing bubble of blue-purple energy - and a choking cloud of powdered brick dust. Wrapping a bit of his brown robe around his face, he reaches out. Ooookay. Sharp metal in that direction. Annnnnnd in the other direction... Munch. Chomp. Rather gritty coffee cake. Coffee cake it is. Pulling himself through a newly opened hole in the coffee shop's wall, Prime gave a half-hearted wave. "Sorry folks. Um. Superhero at work. Just ignore the large armored van..." He pauses to look over his shoulder, "currently spilling thousands of dollars into the street and continue drinking your coffee." A startled Eeeep follows as the crowd surges as one toward the damaged van followed by a frantic, "Don't step on the monkey, please. Step around the superhero... Hey! Get off the tail, bub!"