Zombies and gallows humor

[nexus]

Not specifically Hero related, but I thought I'd toss it out. I'm running a survival horror game in Hero similar to the recent Dawn of the Dead movie. The situations are going to get fairly grim very fast. I want to sometimes break the tension with a little black humor. I wanted to ask did anyone have any suggestions? Something that popped into my mind was that the zombie victims don't have much choice in attire when they get "infected". That could lead to oddly dressed monsters roaming around, like

 

A zombie in brightly colored suspenders and a t-shirt that says "High on Life!" with big smiley face.

 

The PCs disturb a feasting creatures, she looks up, blood and entrails hanging for her teeth and lunges. You can just make out "Real men don't eat meat" on her shirt.

[Isaiah_26_4]

Re: Zombies and gallows humor

 

Chello!

 

Not quite the same thing, but here's some zombies I listed for a random zombie encounter the AFMBE RPG group was working on a couple of years back. Enjoy!

 

Tony

 

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1. Bald white male with blue eyes and assorted White Power tattoos, including a spider-web surrounding his right elbow and the word “BERSERKER†in Gothic script on his forehead. Missing large chunks out of his throat and neck. Wearing grease-stained jeans, a white t-shirt, and steel-toed boots. Clutched in his left hand is a gore-smeared Buck knife. He has a biker wallet containing his DL, NSDAP/AO membership card, a condom and $54 in cash. The key ring on his wallet chain has his Harley key and keys for his toolbox and apt.

This skin was caught at his machinist job when the dead rose and tried to fight his way clear. He didn’t make it.

Mutterings: Wa...wa....why....white...pa...pa...pow....FLESH!â€

Quirk: Will not attack and eat non-Caucasian humans. Goes after “Nordic†types (i.e., blond hair and blue eyes) first.

 

2. Black-haired male, mid 20’s, obviously of Middle Eastern (Turkish) heritage, broken eyeglasses dangle from his right ear. Missing left eye, ear and most of the left side of his face. Wearing khaki pants and button down shirt (blue plaid), hiking type boots (the stylish type), and a torn lab coat. Hid id card (still attached to jacket) identifies him as Khalid Achmed, a lab tech at a local blood bank. His entry card is still attached to the id as well. He has several pens and markers in the pockets of his lab coat. His left chest pocket has 1/2 a pack of Marlboros (no lighter or matches). His pockets contain his wallet (DL, green card, asst. credit cards, $263), passport (Turkish), and his keys (to a 2000 Lexus).

Mutterings: Allah......ackabar....Allah.....

Quirk: This poor lab tech was taken down during the Islamic fasting month of Ramadan. As a result, he will refuse to eat during the daylight hours. Follow and track prey, yes; he will only defend himself if attacked.

 

3. White male, indeterminate age, greasy black hair in a ragged pony tail. The bottom half of his face (jaw included) has been sheared off, and there are abrasions and contusions on his knees (bones exposed). Wearing the remains of jeans, a muscle shirt, and biker boots and Hell’s Angels jacket (in pretty good condition). His wallet is missing (only the chain remains), but he has a switchblade and $160 in 5s and 1s (he was on his way to a strip club) in his pockets. All the bills have been stamped “LEGALIZE MARIJUANA.†Inside a jacket pocket is a nickel bag and a 1-gm. vial of coke.

This non-helmet-wearing biker was on his way to a strip club when he skidded out of control on a wet interstate doing about 120. His whole lower jaw was ripped off.

Mutterings: UGGGGHHHH.......

Quirk: Since he has no lower jaw, he can’t chew. Therefore, he just grabs bits and pieces and shoves them down his throat.

 

4. White male, dark hair and eyes, olive complexion, hair in a “high and tightâ€, cheesy moustache. Wearing a tattered police uniform with body armor now exposed (in good shape). Pistol belt is missing most of its equipment: a pair of nunchaku and 2 speed loaders (with ammo) for a S&W .357 revolver remain. His police flashlight is tightly gripped in his right hand (batteries dead). His left arm is missing (ripped off at the socket).

Mutterings: You can’t......I’m a cop......

 

5. White male, early 30’s, brown hair, gray eyes with yellow surrounding the pupil, moustache with sideburns and triangle of hair left on chin, hair cut in a chili-bowl. Wearing black riding boots, black jogging pants, and what appears to be a sleeveless medieval tunic. Also has a medieval sword belt with a holster (empty) and a pouch on the right hip, a scabbard on the left. A SKS (loaded and with folded bayonet attached) is strapped diagonally across his back. Silver St. Michael Archangel medal on silver chain. Signet ring on right hand and gold wedding band (entwined crosses and circles) on left. Has multiple gunshot wounds to the back. A medieval bastard sword is clutched in his right hand. The pouch contains 12 loading strips (10 rounds each) for the SKS (7.62 x 54 mm), a clip (loaded) for a M1911A1 (.45 ACP, 7 rounds), a gun cleaning kit, some loose 7.62 and .45 rounds (14 and 22 respectively), and 10 shotgun shells (12g, 5 are 00 buck, 5 deer slugs).

Mutterings: Beth......Beth......Beth.......

 

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6. White shemale, early 20’s with red shoulder-length hair, green eyes, 36c breasts, and male parts (ahem) showing. Makeup is smeared. Wearing a black mini-dress that has been ripped open down the front, 1 high heel (right), garter belt and hose, no bra or panties. Left ankle is apparently broken and at a twisted angle, there is a 5-inch laceration on her forehead, and her left arm hangs limply at her side. She is also covered in bruises, and she and her clothes are covered in mud, dirt, and leaves.

This passable shemale picked up two guys for oral sex. They wanted to go a little farther and found out the truth. They then proceeded to beat her to death and ditched the body on a back country road.

Mutterings: No....please.....stop....don’t do this.......

 

7. White male, mid 30’s, lt. brown hair worn short with full goatee. Wearing sandals and what appears to be black hakima pants. He has numerous tattoos, including an impressive thaumaturgic circle which covers his entire back. He has lots of claw marks on his torso and a bite mark on his right hand, but appears otherwise intact.

A backpack thrown over one shoulder contains a tanto, 20 gold eagle coins, 50 silver 1-oz. coins, and a copy of Unaussprechlen Kulten by von Juntz (I’ll let Sneezy decide which edition! ).

This fellow was able to fight his way clear of a gagg....er, HORDE of zombies. However, he was bitten in the process, and later succumbed to the virus.

Mutterings: Ia.....ia.....Hastur.......

 

8. Black male, 6’4’â€, muscular, late 20’s. Hair is shoulder-length jerry-curled, and he has a full goatee. Wearing a semblance of medieval garb (all in black) with combat boots and a black beret. A katana scabbard (empty) is strapped across his back. His tunic has been torn open and his guts dangle from his carcass, dragging along behind and occasionally tripping him.

Mutterings: I am....Griffith....MacStoirm.......

 

9. Oriental male, 5’4â€, late teens, wearing US Army BDUs and TA-50 (no helmet) with a medic’s armband. His skull has been ripped open and the brains munched upon. One of his ammo pouches still contains 2 30-round banana clips for an M-16 (5.56 N). His various pockets contain $2.54, some keys, wallet (Mil. ID, DL, no plastic or cash), a zippo (silver, no design), 1 1/2 packs of Dunhill Internationals, a bag of gaming dice, and 1 MRE (dehydrated pork patty). His aid bag (slung over his left shoulder) is stuffed with atropine autoinjectors.

This enterprising young medic (and gamer!) had the brilliant idea to use the atropine injectors in an attempt to shut down the zombies’ nervous system. Nice try, but it didn’t work.

Mutterings: Work...damn...it...work.....

 

10. Orc, 5’9â€, green skin, fangs, red eyes, black stringy, greasy hair. Wearing a chainmail vest, leather vambraces, steel cops and brown riding boots (all in excellent shape). No visible death wounds, but shambles along like the undead anyway. Clutched tightly in his right hand is an (empty) asthma inhaler.

This EXTREMELY dedicated LARPer (notice the detail of the costume) was playing with his Amtgard group in a local park when the Dead rose. At first, he thought they were more LARPers showing up. When he realized what was really going on, he had an asthma attack, but, bad luck, he had picked up an empty inhaler when he left his apartment that morning. When he collapsed, he rolled down into a gully and was subsequently missed by the horde of flesh-eaters.

Mutterings: Can’t.....breathe.....

 

11. Black male with ashen skin, early 20’s, hair done in a jerry curl. Wearing black pants, red jacket, and one silver-studded glove. No apparent wounds.

Mutterings: Eeee-HEEEEEEE!

 

12. Grey alien, gobbets of flesh ripped out of its claw and bite-covered torso.

Special: Based on the Greys in “GURPS Black Opsâ€, this alien retains its race’s ability to make a ranged spit attack (RNG 1/-/-/-/-). However, rather than the standard acid, the spittle has transformed into a highly potent disease vector. Any hit to the eyes or open mouth (-4 to hit), results in the character being exposed to the Zombie virus with effects as per AFMBE p. 168 (the PC makes the roll with a -1 penalty). Also, regardless of the campaign, Grey zombies have the following abilities (due to their advanced mental powers): Long-Term Memory, Problem-Solving, Soul Sucker.

Note: This zombie is only applicable if the ZM doesn’t mind adding some weirdness to his game. In a “They Came From Beyond†game, the Greys are the implacable foes of the Brood. Of course, they aren’t here to help out the humans, either; who knows what their plans for Earth (and its Humans!) are?

 

13. White male, mid 40’s, brown hair, full beard and moustache (unkempt). Glass eye (left) is askew. Wearing grimy overalls, baseball hat (John Deere), work boots, flannel shirt. He has a wood axe stuck in his left shoulder, and his right hand is missing (chewed off). He’s wearing a plain gold wedding band. His pockets contain a Barlow pocket knife, a cheap pocket watch, keys, wallet (no cash), a dirty blue bandanna, and 1/2 a bag of Levi-Garrett.

Mutterings: Head for.....the....north forty......

 

14. White male, 30’s, dark brown hair, green eyes, clean-shaven (but with 5 o‘clock shadow). Wearing blue jeans, flannel shirt, sheepskin-lined denim jacket, cowboy boots (well-worn, plain leather, with spurs), calf skin gloves, no hat. Has some puncture wounds on his torso, and looks like he’s been trampled. Holster on his belt has a 9mm Browning (loaded, no round up the pipe). Jacket pocket has a box of .30-30 rounds.

This cowboy was out on the range herding up loose steers when a bull charged him. His horse spooked and he was thrown and gored.

Mutterings: Damned.....cows.....

 

15. White female, 5’3â€, petite, blonde hair, blue eyes. Wearing leather panties and collar (no other clothes). Leather cuffs bite into her wrists and feet, broken straps still attached. No other apparent wounds.

This little B & D slave was left by her Master strapped to the bed while he went out. Unfortunately, the Dead rose before he returned, and she died of dehydration. When she rose, she was able to snap her bonds.

Mutterings: Safe word....is....peanut....butter....peanut...butter....peanut....

 

16. White male, late 40’s, 6’10â€, scraggly black hair (shoulder-length) and beard (chest length). Wearing a medieval style tabard (Quarterly gules and argent 2 battle axes crossed saltirewise within a bordure all countercharged). Both arms ripped off at sockets.

This zombie cannot grab and bite, so he charges, headbutts, and attempts to bite after (hopefully) knocking someone down.

Mutterings: I’m gonna kill you.......kill you dead......

[Supreme Serpent]

Re: Zombies and gallows humor

 

One of the things I liked best about the original Dawn of the Dead was the zombies doing things that they were used to doing in life - in this case going to the mall.

 

Have zombies doing other things you normally wouldn't expect a zombie to do - or at least do well. (Depends on just how mindless/distractable zombies are in your universe). Zombie tries cooking - turns gas on but forgets to light stove - later on whole house blows up. Zombie pushing lawnmower down main street. Zombie on cell phone going "Urrrr" and nodding head. Zombie mailman going house to house, putting body parts in mailboxes (like a squirrel with nuts). Also has the benefit that from a distance, sometimes PC's might mistake them for a living person...and get closer.