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Warden Follies - Misadventures of the newest Warden


Prime

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The Chase

(Where the Warden's newest paranormal learns that crime-fighting is harder than it looks on TV)

 

 

"Like a spider lurking in his web, the superhero Prime lays in wait atop one of the city's innocuous light poles. His Wardens' communicator locked on to one of the police channels keeping him constantly updated on the lightning fast approach of a stolen armored security van," Prime quietly whispers to himself as he hangs from the outstretched arm of the light pole by his tail and one hind paw. Idly he wonders if experienced superheroes do their own narrating as well. Perhaps that's how the whole 'hero catch phrase' craze got started. Ooooh, he'd need to think up one of his own...

 

"Stop or be Primed!" Doyle squeaks as he lets loose his grip and falls like a bag of wet flour onto the speeding van's windshield.

 

"Ooooommmppph," he gasps as the impact drives all the air from his lungs. Mental note. Leaping onto speeding trucks HURTS. As a final indignity, the windshield wipers start sweeping back and forth, thwapping his nose with each swipe as a jet of cleaning fluid flies into his right ear.

 

Prime manages to gather enough breath to feebly protest, "Hey! Stop that!", but oddly, the armed robbers on the other side of the glass don't immediately pull over to the side of the road and turn themselves in. Okay, Prime notes, plan one didn't work. Time for plan two. Now all I need to do is concentrate and... uh oh...

 

Spider webs of cracks appear in the heavy glass as the two robbers within open fire on the, fortunately, bullet resistant windshield. A quite informative display of popular curse words follows as the criminal duo reaps the bounty of their own leaden gifts before they slump unconscious against their restraining belts.

 

"Superheroics complete. Now to get home in time to do the laundry... oh hey... who put that wall there?" Prime cheerfully notes before realizing the van was headed straight towards the quite attractive brick sidewall of a pleasant little coffee shop known for its especially tasty cinnamon rolls and raspberry danish. Then, with a hearty crush, the heavy armored van and the unyielding brick wall meet for the first time, with only small furry Prime to make introductions.

 

A moment of sheer fear and panic... and Prime suddenly finds himself surrounded by a softly glowing bubble of blue-purple energy - and a choking cloud of powdered brick dust. Wrapping a bit of his brown robe around his face, he reaches out. Ooookay. Sharp metal in that direction. Annnnnnd in the other direction... Munch. Chomp. Rather gritty coffee cake. Coffee cake it is. Pulling himself through a newly opened hole in the coffee shop's wall, Prime gave a half-hearted wave. "Sorry folks. Um. Superhero at work. Just ignore the large armored van..." He pauses to look over his shoulder, "currently spilling thousands of dollars into the street and continue drinking your coffee." A startled Eeeep follows as the crowd surges as one toward the damaged van followed by a frantic, "Don't step on the monkey, please. Step around the superhero... Hey! Get off the tail, bub!"

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