Cross Posted: TOEE Co8 CRPG Fan Fic and Walk Through

[OddHat]

As some computer gamers may be aware, the gang at the Circle of Eight Forums has been upgrading the old Temple of ELemental Evil CRPG for a couple of years now. The result is something much better than the game was before. I've been posting a walk through and fan fic over there, and hoped there might be a few CRPG fans here who'd enjoy it.

 

And here it is.

[OddHat]

Re: Cross Posted: TOEE Co8 CRPG Fan Fic and Walk Through

 

Elves in the Temple - A Tale of the Circle of Eight

 

 

Part the First

 

“The princess has yet to return, my lords.”

 

“What princess?” sang out a half dozen incomparably harmonious and perpetually distracted voices.

 

*sigh* Glimmersong Wobblebottom had not planned to devote the last century to serving the High-Elven Council. Like most elves, he rarely planned anything at all. Still, in a culture where respectable citizens might decide on a whim to spend the next century singing songs about butterflies or wandering naked through the woods composing prose poems, Wobblebottom possessed the rare trait of being able to concentrate on trivialities such as where the food was coming from or, in this case, the location of popular members of the royal family.

 

“Princess Tillahi, my lords, and her current paramour, Lord Juffer,” explained Wobblebottom. “They’re more than a fortnight overdue. It’s quite worrying.”

 

“Isn’t a tillahi a sort of fish?” sang out Lord Shinything.

 

Remembering Shinything’s over-fondness for Elven-smoke, Wobblebottom held his patience and kept his voice calm. “No, my lords. Tillahi is of the blood royal, and has been a member of this council for well over three centuries. Tilapia is a sort of fish.”

 

“I could do with some tilapia” said Shinything, who often found himself puckish in the early afternoon. Immediately two more lords chirped in, singing out short thoughtful odes to tilapia and sweet, haunting ballads on the general subjects of fish and post Elven-smoke snacks. As was to be expected, none of them actually proposed going out and getting any actual tilapia. More importantly, at least from the point of view of Wobblebottom, not a single elfish lord seemed willing to focus on the matter at hand. Wobblebottom determined to bring things back around to the missing princess.

 

“My lords,” shouted Wobblebottom, straining his voice in order to be heard above the incessant singing, “our Princess is missing! We must take action!”

 

While the majority of the council continued to sing, Lord Mountswiftly the Occasionally Coherent dragged himself away from his own hookah of Elven-smoke. Mountswiftly was quite fond of Tillahi (and reasonably fond of tilapia), and vaguely remembered something of her true mission.

 

“My lords,” boomed out Mountswiftly in a basso profondo quite unusual among the elves, “Wobblebottom is correct! This is a serious issue, and something must be done. I have a plan.”

 

Wobblebottom sighed in relief. Mountswiftly was well known as the most effective and reasonable member of the council, and the one least likely to turn up at meetings dressed as his favorite flower.

 

“The precedent for missing princesses is well established,” continued Mountswiftly, “and never fails. We must gather a group of poorly equipped tradesmen, small folk and school children, give them a vague description of the Princess and her entourage, and send them off to the petty hamlet nearest to the site at which she was last seen. Surely, such unlikely and ill-trained heroes shall bring our princess back to us!”

 

Despite Wobblebottom’s objections, the plan was agreed upon, and messengers were dispatched to gather the young heroes. Had those worthy small folk but known what fate held in store for them, they might very well have run shrieking from those messengers, but then that wouldn’t make for much of a story.

 

End Part the First

 

Part the Second

 

From the Journals of Jack B. Swift, Professional Adventurer, published 585, Greyhawk Press

 

I was working on my undergrad degree at UU back in 579. My girl was an Elfish beauty named Kate, and my closest friend was a student my own age named Reynard T. Fox. Anyway, it all started when Kate got a letter from the High Elf Council of Celene.

 

“They’re looking for interns,” Kate told me. Then she started reading from the letter. “Opportunity for self motivated, pro-active young people in the highly competitive field of professional adventuring and princess rescue. Equal opportunity employer; Mixed parties containing representatives of a minimum of three humanoid races preferred.”

 

“Brilliant!” I was very excited. It’s tougher than it looks getting into adventuring. The days when you could just massacre a Kobold village and expect a passing noble to give you a job offer are long past.

 

Kate was a Thaumaturgy major, and I was majoring in Business with minors in Lock-Smithing and General Thuggery. Fox (lucky bastard) was a born spell caster; he’d only enrolled to learn how to scribe. Fox and I were Humans and Kate was an elf, so we were half way there.

 

“I know some gals” said Fox. He was close to a couple of Theology students, Bar and Perry, and he also recommended we ask his girl Dio along. Dio was in Natural Studies. I swear that guy tried to get into the pantaloons of half the girls in school. At first Kate and I weren’t too enthusiastic, until Fox told us the kicker. Perry was a Dwarf. That made three humanoid races.

 

“It’s a sure thing” Fox said, and he was right. Fox talked to the girls, Kate sent off a letter to the High Elf Council, and we were in.

 

Fox introduced us to Bar (major in Applied Violence, minor in Results Oriented Prayer) and Perry (major in Subterranean Theology and a minor in Oerth Science), and we already knew Dio. We all got along well enough. We set off to meet with the High Elves.

 

“Odd, isn’t it?” We’d been on the road for a couple of days when Fox asked me that. I didn’t know what he was talking about.

 

“Isn’t what?” I asked him.

 

“It” he said.

 

“I’m going to thump you now” I said, and tried to. Bar and Perry pulled us apart before things went to far, and then he went on.

 

“Look,” said Fox, “here we are, not even a bread knife between us, just a couple of ravens, a big dog, and a pouch of cash. How are we meant to do any adventuring like this?”

 

“You really are a silly Billy, aren’t you my liege?” said Perry. Both I and Fox looked over at her.

 

“Why does she talk like that?” I whispered to Fox, but she wasn’t done.

 

“We shall naturally come upon some good merchants well before any danger threatens,” said Perry, “and we shall find that our funds are more than sufficient to adequately equip ourselves with armor and weapons and all manner of things!”

 

“Been hitting the Elf Smoke?” I asked.

 

I felt like an idiot when we climbed over the next hill and saw a caravan. Perry looked smug.

 

The woman in charge of the caravan was gorgeous. Called herself the Jade Empress, though I suspect that was not her real name. Fox immediately started to chat her up, with no noticeable effect.

 

“Fox, Kate, give me your Ravens” I asked. Fox just handed his over (he’d named his Raven “Greed”; Kate’s was “Avarice”), but Kate argued.

 

“Why should I give you my Raven?”

 

“Look,” I said, “I need to haggle with this bunch. They’re hard, experienced merchants, and I’m not. That’s where your Ravens come in. Nothing like a pair of fat black birds glaring madly from your shoulders and crapping down your back to put a scare into a merchant! They’ll make any offer just to get rid of me!”

Kate looked dubious but handed Avarice over.

 

We did pretty well. By the time we were done, we all had weapons and (except for Fox and Kate, who never learned how to wear it properly) armor.

 

“What do you think?” Barbara asked, showing off the Gladiator Armor she’d selected. Bar was a tall girl, and healthy, and if you’ve never seen Gladiator Armor, well, I’ll just say that any humanoid male she faces will be too busy staring to attack or block.

 

“It’s gorgeous!” Enthused Kate, who’d picked out a corset.

 

Fox and I were very quiet for the next leg of the trip, and I think both of us ended up with neck strain.

 

End Part the Second

 

Part the Third

 

Wobblebottom looked down from a concealed balcony on the six fresh faced young adventurers who had responded to Lord Mountswiftly’s call. To an atypically conservative Elf such as Wobblebottom, the group now milling about the council chambers seemed decidedly unfit for pursuits beyond the Tavern Dancing and Stable Cleaning industries. When he expressed his feelings to Lord Mountswiftly, he was not reassured by his lordship’s response.

 

“Just so, Wobblebottom,” boomed his lordship, “just so! A fine collection of unlikely heroes! True, we could have done with a pig boy and maybe a shepherd, but this gaggle of academic misfits should do just fine!”

 

“A shepherd, Lord?” Wobblebottom tried to keep the dismay out of his voice.

 

“Quite so, Wobblebottom! Remember that Black Jay fellow? The boy in Hommlet? Never met a human so fond of sheep! Went on about them day in and day out! Even kept one in his tent, as I recall. Could barely sleep for the bleating! Prime hero material, shepherds!”

 

Wobblebottom tried to bring the conversation back to the present. “Your Lordship, what specific instructions am I to deliver?”

 

“Hmm? You’re to tell the lot of them to head over to Hommlet. Tillahi was meant to check in there Have them ask Jay what’s what and work from there!”

 

“Yes, Lord,” answered Wobblebottom, “and should I inform them of the Princess’s true mission?”

 

“What?!” Lord Mountswiftly was so shocked that his voice almost failed to harmonize with the constant background singing omnipresent in Elfish settlements. “We can’t have that, Wobblebottom! They must stumble upon the truth on their own, or possibly with the guidance of surprisingly well informed wandering old men and talking animals! Revealing the Princess’s mission to them now would violate all the laws of narrative!”

 

Wobblebottom bowed his head in shame. His lordship was quite correct. “It shall be as you say, Lord.”

 

Wobblebottom headed down the stairs to send the brave young adventurers off to Hommlet. Two of the girls were in outfits that Wobblebottom found most distracting. He was both relieved and disappointed when they left.

 

At least the interview had marked a pleasant break from the singing.

End Part the Third

[OddHat]

Re: Cross Posted: TOEE Co8 CRPG Fan Fic and Walk Through

 

Part the Fourth

 

From the Journals of Jack B. Swift, Professional Adventurer, published 585, Greyhawk Press

“Those Elves were something,” said Fox.

 

I shrugged. “That’s Elves for you. Singing, archery and Elf-Smoke. And really bad poetry. Not much more to them.”

 

About then, Kate smacked the back of my head. “I’m right here,” she said.

 

I was still rubbing the back of my head as we climbed over the next rise and saw Hommlet.

 

“That’s a weird sort of town” said Fox.

 

“It’s beautiful!” Dio was obviously taken with the place.

 

Perry was practically jumping up and down. “Yes! A true Adventurer’s Village!”

 

I groaned. She was right. Hommlet was small, too small. Fewer than a dozen or so cabins and only a couple of fields, yet it supported a well maintained road, a large church, a defensive tower, a tavern, several shops, and what looked like a small Druid’s hut. How could such a small town support that many businesses? Professional Adventuring 101: the Looting Economy.

 

We’d be lucky if we weren’t mobbed by goblins as soon as we set foot in the place.

 

We were actually mobbed by a small boy named Kent.

 

He was a typical farmer’s whelp, cute as a button and cut as a circus performer. Yet, as I talked with him, his eyes never met mine. I tried to trace his gaze.

 

His eyes were locked on Bar in her Gladiator Armor.

 

He fell into a sort of trance, babbling about his Master and changes to the world. Unfortunately, I’d made the mistake of looking over at Bar as well, and didn’t really catch much. Kate had to slap me again to snap me out of it, by which time the kid had wandered away.

 

Bar was smiling like the cat who ate the canary. “Told you it was good armor.”

 

“Did he say where Black Jay lived?” I asked.

 

“No” said Kate, for some reason unaccountably angry.

 

“Alright people,” I said, “You know the drill. Adventurer’s Village. We start with the house furthest down the path on the left and then start moving through the town in a counter clockwise direction, stopping in each home, asking for rumors, and offering to solve every little problem of the villagers. I’ll do most of the talking, but Bar and Perry, I want you two to be ready to step in. Let’s move!”

 

As we headed to the furthest house down the path on the left, I heard Fox saying to Perry “Why should they tell us their problems?”

 

“Because we’re perfect strangers,” Perry said in her always optimistic tones. “It is well known that telling your most intimate problems to perfect strangers unburdens the soul, provides friendly entertainment, and allows for the possibility that the stranger may offer some solution, whereas telling these problems to your friends and loved ones is a sure path to becoming a social pariah, most especially in a small town.”

 

I nodded my agreement. A wise girl, which I suppose was to be expected of a Dwarven Divinity Student,

End Part the Fourth

[OddHat]

Re: Cross Posted: TOEE Co8 CRPG Fan Fic and Walk Through

 

Part the Fifth

 

The hardy band of adventurers strode purposefully across the greensward.

 

Well, more accurately, the small group of young men and women carefully negotiated their way across a cow pasture and towards a cabin, bickering.

 

“Sire,” said the comely (by Dwarf standards) female Dwarf, “I must point out again that this witch’s scavenger hunt on which we are engaged is a most unworthy side quest! I might even describe it as Evil!”

 

Jack was not in a good mood. He was hot, and tired, and more than a little hung over. “Perry, I am not your Sire!” He gathered himself and tried to keep his voice calm. “Look, we agreed that we would do all the side quests we could in the village before heading out of town. We’re not ready to face serious combat yet. We haven’t even found Black Jay to ask where the next leg of this adventure will lead us!”

 

“I thought we were going after some bandits” said Kate, a bow carrying Elf in a most immodest corset.

 

“Yes, I thought bandits in that Moathouse place as well,” said Reynard, moving his spear from one shoulder to the other, “several townsfolk have mentioned it.”

 

“Look,” barked Jack, “we don’t know that Tillahi went anywhere near those bandits! Even if we did, we’re not ready for them!” He drew a breath and continued. “It’s basic adventuring. We solve all the little problems of the townsfolk first, and then we tackle the wilderness. We only have two more townsfolk to speak with; this woodsman and that weird shepherd.”

 

“The one dressed all in black,” asked Kate.

 

“Yes,” continued Jack, carefully avoiding a bit of cow pasture closer to nature than he liked. “As to your objections Perry,” now in a conciliating tone, “I understand. I want you to know that I’d never ask any of you to do anything actually Evil.”

 

“My lord,” said Perry, “you had us kill the weaver’s tenants.”

 

“They were goblins,” said Jack a bit defensively, “and it was self defense. The one in the pointy hat stabbed me!”

 

“You asked us to kill those spiders in the tavern,” grumped the normally quiet Dio, “and that talking rat.”

 

“The spiders were the size of dogs, and the rat must have weighed sixty pounds! They were giant vermin!” Jack felt that he was again losing control of this conversation. “We freed that ghost woman in the herdsman’s house from her torment! That’s a good deed!”

 

Perry’s voice, normally sweet, was showing anger now. “It was a deed most foul, my lord, when you stole those scrolls from the Church. Had I seen you, I would never have permitted it.”

 

“We needed those! You used one to heal the leatherworker’s brother in law! Still good deeds all around!” Jack took a deep breath. “We’ve helped two couples find love…”

“Three, maybe four” interrupted Reynard, smiling at the thought of a farm girl.

 

“Four!” Jack turned his full attention back to Perry. “Three or four couples, maybe. We’ve exposed three spies, sort of, when the time is right to tell the authorities! We’re practically saints to these people!”

 

“Sire,” said Perry, her tone showing that despite her high Wisdom, Jack’s Bluff was working, “you made a deal with a demon.”

 

Jack looked Perry straight in the eye. In his voice was perfect sincerity. “He wasn’t a demon. He just had a skin condition.”

 

Perry nodded her head grudgingly, and the group arrived at the woodcutter’s cabin.

 

End Part the Fifth

[OddHat]

Re: Cross Posted: TOEE Co8 CRPG Fan Fic and Walk Through

 

Part the Sixth

 

“I’m poisoned!” wailed Reynard.

 

Persephone Stronginthearm, Dwarf Cleric, also known as Perry, sighed and shifted her grip on her axe. Just minutes earlier, things had been going so well.

 

The woodcutter of Hommlet had proposed a most worthy task, ridding a grove of hideous, man eating (as well as, presumably, Dwarf, Elf, Gnome and Halfling eating) spiders. It was a very direct and traditional sort of side quest, and came as a great relief to a Dwarf who had found her faith in the inherent Goodness of her party leader strongly tested in recent days. Kate had quickly scribbled off a few scrolls of Sleep, Perry had scribbled out a few scrolls of Cure Light Wounds, and off the gang enthusiastically (with the exception of Dio, who pouted a bit) went to explore the Deklo Grove.

 

At which point, as Perry would later say, things plunged swiftly down ye old oubliette. Rather than facing the party fairly on open ground, the giant spiders of the grove had lurked in the trees. The creatures, quite nearly the size of horses, dropped down and drenched the party in waves of sticky webbing.

 

Reynard had somehow managed to avoid entanglement. Inexplicably, rather than make use of a scroll of sleep, Reynard the Fox chose to charge forward, spear leveled, and skewer one of the spiders. At this he succeeded, doing the beast considerable harm, and also leaving himself well beyond the protection of his better armored friends.

 

Dio, Jack and Persephone herself struggled fruitlessly to free themselves from the sticky strands of twine-thick webbing, while Bar with shocking swiftness dropped her glaive and brought out her longbow, stringing it and loosing an arrow in less time than it takes to say it! Unfortunately, she missed, but later everyone agreed that it had been a most valiant effort.

 

Kate meanwhile did not forget the plan. Forgoing direct spell-casting that might be disrupted by the sticky webbing, she drew upon the power of a Scroll of Sleep and sent arcane energies arcing through the ether, intent on dragging down an enormous eight legged enemy into enchanted slumber! And it might have worked, had luck been with them. Unfortunately, the big bug shook off the spell, and Kate’s efforts accomplished bugger all.

 

At this point, the spiders struck again. The wounded beast facing Reynard leapt past his spear and sunk its venomous fangs into flesh. “I’m poisoned!” screamed Reynard, collapsing. The second spider charged swiftly across the web, sinking its own bite into Dio’s war dog.

 

As swiftly as things had gone bad, they got better. Dio, Jack and Perry waited for Bar and Kate. Bar smoothly released another arrow, and this time with it stuck the wounded spider crouched above Reynard, dropping that creature into unconsciousness (and, also, onto Reynard). Kate read off another Scroll of Sleep, and the second spider failed to resist its call, falling deeply into slumber.

 

The battle seemed to be over. The young adventurers began the painful process of pulling themselves free from the sticky webs.

 

“My friends,” said Perry, “we happy few have won a victory here this day…”

 

She might have said more, but just then a gang of crazed kobolds swarmed the clearing.

 

As Dio had moved forward to check on the unconscious Reynard, a Kobold Sergeant leaped at her from the undergrowth, barely missing with a cruel swing of its axe. Kobolds are small, sad, and rather comical looking creatures, bipedal dog-like lizards the size of a large human child. However, as it is difficult to laugh with an axe in your belly, few peasants found the appearance of Kobolds an immediate subject of mirth.

 

This time the party was better prepared. Kate held back for a moment, allowing additional Kobolds to leap from the woods before casting a spell of Sleep, dropping a number of them to the ground. Bar charged forward, putting away her bow and picking up her glaive with practiced fluidity, and struck the Sergeant a terrible blow than very nearly split him in two. Dio missed a scimitar strike at one of the remaining monsters, but Jack was able to spear both that Kobold and the one beside it in a single charge!

 

As swiftly as that, the fight was done.

 

Jack merrily stabbed the sleeping Kobolds while Perry attended to Reynard’s wounds. Dio looted the body of the Kobold Sergeant, making a noteworthy discovery. Bypassing Jack, she brought her find to Persephone.

 

“This is wonderful!” loudly exclaimed Persephone, startling the still groggy Reynard (and making an unwelcome contribution to his spider-venom induced migraine). She displayed Dio’s discovery, a lovely platinum ring, to the group. “This ring is inscribed ‘From Jay’; it is surely the property of the Elf Friend we seek! We shall return to Hommlet, present it to him, and prove our good intent!”

 

Jack nodded, perhaps a touch reluctantly. “Sounds like a plan. Now, help me check the bodies.”

 

Next: Drinks and Druids

 

End Part the Sixth

[OddHat]

Re: Cross Posted: TOEE Co8 CRPG Fan Fic and Walk Through

 

Part the Seventh: Of Drinks & Druids

 

From the Journals of Jack B. Swift, Professional Adventurer, published 585, Greyhawk Press

 

Killing the spiders in the grove was a turning point for all of us. We were filled with a new sense of purpose and energy. We felt ready to take things to the next level.

 

We headed back to town, told the woodcutter he could head back into the grove, and learned that his daughter was ill. In part as a peace offering to Perry and Dio, I agreed to talk with Jaroo (the local High Druid) about it. Jaroo told us to keep an eye out for something called a Swamp Lotus. Dio knows plants, so I figured she’d know it if we found one.

 

“No worries,” Dio assured me, “it’s Narrative Law. Jaroo told us the Swamp Lotus is out there; we’ll find it.”

 

OK, technically I “hoped” Dio’d know a Swamp Lotus if we spotted it.

 

We then headed up to the Tower of Burne (the Mage of Hommlet) to do some shopping.

 

Kate scribed and traded huge numbers of scrolls containing trivial cantrips for some of Burne’s collection of more powerful Wizard spells. Once again, the Ravens came in handy; no merchant can concentrate on deal making while staring into those horrible, beady little eyes.

 

Bar was chatting with Pishella, Burne’s apprentice, while I tried to avoid talking to Burne or Rufus (his bodyguard).

 

I guess I should explain why I didn’t want to talk with them.

 

Part of the reason Perry was getting snippy with me was that we’d uncovered spies in the village. Two of the town traders were in the pay of someplace called the Temple of Elemental Evil. I used that information to force the traders to reveal the location of the local bandit’s lair, and tried to use it to get them to tell us where the Temple was. Perry thought we should just turn them in to Burne, but I wasn’t so sure. I thought we could get more out of them.

 

Perry was pissed about other things. We’d killed some goblins lodging in the weaver’s place. OK, they were legally there, but one of the little buggers stabbed me. No regrets. We’d also borrowed a cup of sugar from a really big guy with serious skin problems.

 

OK, so he was probably a demon. What were we supposed to do? If we’d jumped him, he’d have killed us.

 

I did feel bad about killing the talking rat.

 

After we were done with Burne we headed over to talk to the shepherd in black. Turned out he was Black Jay. We gave him his ring and solved a problem for him, and he pointed us again towards the Moathouse. It was clear where things were headed.

 

We headed towards the tavern for one more night’s preparation and drinking before setting out.

 

So like I said, there was this sense of energy in the air. We were almost ready. Bar got herself into a drinking contest with a couple of tough looking mercenary types and a couple of townies, and Fox got himself into a nasty argument with Dio.

 

“Dionysia, please, try to understand” Fox was saying. Then she punched him. Good shot, too. Took him clear off the bench.

 

“You are not bringing your farm girl along!” She stomped off to sit with Perry. I helped Fox up.

 

“That didn’t go well,” he said.

 

:”You think?” I replied.

 

“I’m sorry things went this way. I really am,” he said.

 

He was looking at me with worried eyes. He was either telling the truth or pulling a better con than I’d ever seen him try. He went on.

 

“Look, Dio was just a friend. Meleny …” he paused, and looked away. “Meleny is something really special. She’s interesting, and cute, and she laughs at everything I say.” He looked back at me, trying to make the sale. “She’s a Druid, and she knows the area. She’d make a great addition to the group. We can always use another spell-caster.”

 

“Funny,” I said, “she doesn’t look Druish.”

 

Fox just stared at me. We’d been buddies forever; I saw he was serious.

“So, you’re dumping the cute Druid you were dating foe a cuter Druid you’ve just met, and you want to take the new girl along?”

 

“Yes,” said Fox.

 

“OK,” I said, “I’ll have a talk with Dio. Kate, Perry and Bar should be OK with it. Kate and Bar won’t care much, and Perry thinks you’re a bad influence on Dio anyway.”

 

“Thanks” said Fox.

 

I thought it would be a good move. Meleny was OK, Fox was a friend, and I’d never seen him this flipped over a girl before. Besides, that farmer had a sword hanging over his mantle that looked magical. If we played our cards right, Mel’s father might throw the sword in as part of the deal.

 

Maybe Perry was right about me. There comes a time in each mans life when he must ask “Am I Good, or am I Neutral?”

 

I was thinking more than was good for me when Bar staggered over, having lost the drinking contest again. She was looking good, and the fire light and alcohol flush were combining to make that Gladiator Armor even more distracting than usual. She gave me a boozy smile.

 

“I can’t decide” she said.

 

“Decide?” I pulled my head up and fixed my eyes on her face, despite calls from certain parts of my brain to let my gaze drift down.

 

“I can’t decide,” she said, still smiling, “whether to let myself get in touch with my inner rage, or to open myself to the Divine.”

 

At this point I wasn’t sure what she was talking about, but considering little Dio and Fox I didn’t want another member of my party getting in better touch with her rage. “Opening yourself sounds good,” I said, and then immediately wished I hadn’t.

 

Bar laughed, got up, tripped a little, and patted me on the shoulder.

 

That really was good armor.

 

“Rage will give me speed,” she said, “but I’ve always wanted to give myself to Kord. I think I need to go to bed.” She headed off to her room.

 

I wondered who Kord was at the time. Later, when I found out, it put the conversation in a different light.

 

The next morning, when we headed to the Moathouse, we were a stronger team. Perry, Kate and Fox had scrolls in their packs, and Bar was wearing a chain with a miniature two-handed sword around her neck. Perry and I had talked with Dio, and it seemed very unlikely she’d kill Fox. We picked up the farmer’s daughter, Meleny, and headed out of town.

 

End Part the Seventh

 

Next: Frogs and Spiders

[Cancer]

Re: Cross Posted: TOEE Co8 CRPG Fan Fic and Walk Through

 

Point of information query: what does "CRPG" mean? I'm stumped on the "C" part, obviously.

[OddHat]

Re: Cross Posted: TOEE Co8 CRPG Fan Fic and Walk Through

 

Point of information query: what does "CRPG" mean? I'm stumped on the "C" part' date=' obviously.[/quote']

 

Computer RPG.

 

What people who like a little hack and slash do when there are no GMs available.

[OddHat]

Re: Cross Posted: TOEE Co8 CRPG Fan Fic and Walk Through

 

On the Circle of Eight boards, I was asked for specific instructions for completing the Redmption of Clarice quest. Here is that quest's solution:

 

Interlude

 

The unquiet spirit wailed. “A blessing! A blessing from the temple! A blessing from Cuthbert!”

 

“Well enough,” said Reynard, “we’ll just pop on off to the temple then and…”

 

“Wait!” said Perry.

 

“What?” asked Reynard.

 

“Why Cuthbert? He is a most unsympathetic deity, and is well know to be unpleasantly tall and prone to violence. Why not the blessing of a proper deity, one of a most kindly disposition and a more respectable height?”

 

“Yondola?” suggested Bar, but she was grinning.

 

“Garl Glittergold?” put in Jack with a wink to Bar.

 

“Respectable deities, I grant you,” continued Perry, “but not deity’s who know what it is to labor all day over a hot forge, to turn in an honest days labor. Not, to be blunt, deity’s who understand the lot of the common worker.”

 

“Wait, isn’t Yondola some sort of house wife? Also, what?” asked Reynard.

 

“No,” said Perry, “and as to which deity I speak of, it is none other than my own beloved patron, Moradin, the Soul Forger!”

 

Dramatic music and / or the sound of thunder failed to be heard at this point.

 

After waiting for a moment, Perry continued. “Poor creature, Clarice, I offer you the blessing of Moradin, the World Smith!” Blue light filled the room, flashing from Perry’s sacred axe (Dwarves tended to prefer Holy Symbols with a practical side to them, though this meant that the clerics of Spud, Lord of Root Vegetables, often found themselves mildly embarrassed). The entire party felt the blessing of Moradin descend upon them.

 

Clarice continued to wail.

 

“Bugger” said Perry.

 

“Well,” said Jack, “it’s not a problem. I saw that Calmert up at the temple had some Scrolls of Bless for sale. We can just go buy one, bring it back here, and give it to Clarice.”

 

“Wait!” Shouted Perry. “Scrolls? Just a moment.” Perry quickly took her stylus, ink, and a sheet of parchment (actually a page from the 575 Miner’s Almanac with the ink mostly scrubbed off; Dwarves hate to waste paper), and scribbled down the blessings of Moradin. A touch of her sacred axe finished the process; the Scroll of Bless was complete.

 

“Here, spirit,” declared Perry, triumphantly handing the scroll to poor dead Clarice, “take now the blessing you seek!”

 

“At last,” declared Clarice, “Praise Cuthbert!” The spirit vanished.

 

“No!” shouted Perry, “Praise Moradin!”

 

The party shuffled from the room.

 

“Another miracle of Cuthbert” said Bar.

 

“Yes,” said Jack, “Praise Cuthbert.”

 

“Stop it!” said Perry, “Just stop it! Praise Moradin!”

 

As the group left the herdsman’s shack, Perry shifted her knapsack. “Why is my pack heavier?”

 

End Interlude

[OddHat]

Re: Cross Posted: TOEE Co8 CRPG Fan Fic and Walk Through

 

Part the Eighth: Frogs and Spiders

 

Dionysia scowled and tightened her grip on her scimitar as she moved carefully ahead of her so-called friends, making sure that the ground would support them as they moved into the swamp. Her dog, a grey and nameless half-wolf brute, protectively hung close by her side.

 

The words that Dionysia muttered under her breath would have shocked her pious mother, but Dio couldn’t think of any more polite adjectives that adequately described her current feelings towards the lot of them.

 

She glanced back over her shoulder, not technically correct behavior when scouting, in the hopes that one of them at least would have noticed her angry silence. Well, silence apart from the cursing.

 

No luck. “Profane-noun-verb-pair noun obscene-gerund noun” muttered Dio. Her dog looked curiously upwards, then returned to snuffling for interesting dead things in the swamp.

 

Dio continued to stare.

 

Reynard, her beautiful Reynard, was whispering and giggling with his new farm girl. “Noun!” Dio hissed.

 

They were standing close, and the part of Dio that was always in balance had to admit they looked natural together. Reynard, tall and lean, handsome face all grin, big brown eyes and shaggy red-brown hair. The farm girl, smiling, young and slim and subtle curves well displayed by the leathers he’d given her, leathers matching Reynard’s close cut robes.

 

Dio pulled her eyes away, face hard, and forced herself to pay attention again to the swamplands through which the party marched. She patted the dog.

 

There was a suspiciously well maintained path, with swampy water on either side. The path lead to small fortress, the Moathouse, squatting in the swamp like a big, grey, squatting thing. A huge, grey green, fat, wet, squatting what?

 

“A frog!” loudly exclaimed Dio, “A giant frog!”

 

As Dio let loose this shout, a pair of huge creatures exploded from the water on either side of the trail. They were big, bigger than bears. Hairless monstrosities, covered in slime. They leaped forward impossibly, their hind legs enormous, their eyes like plates, and their mouths impossibly wide.

 

They looked exactly like giant frogs.

 

“Well spotted!” called Perry, charging forward between the rest of the group and the beasts, raising her shield and axe and then waiting for the creature’s approach. Jack and Bar leaped forwards as well, Jack bringing his long spear to the ready position and moving slightly behind Perry to her left, Bar un-slinging her glaive and positioning herself on Perry’s right.

 

Reynard gestured dramatically, spreading his arms wide and shouting out words of power. The magic poured from him and into Bar, swelling her muscles, distorting space around her. In an instant, Bar was suddenly a small giantess, over 10 feet in height, her armor and glaive larger as well.

 

Jack blinked. “I didn’t know you could do that!”

 

Reynard grinned. “Enlarge Person! Good, isn’t it?”

 

“Eyes on the fight!” shouted Kate. The blue-haired elf called up a protective second skin of magic, then strung her bow.

 

Dio realized that she had been watching when she should have been acting. Raising her own wooden shield and shifting her grip on her scimitar, drew energy from the ground beneath her feet to boost her speed, and charged forwards to just behind Perry. The dog ran behind her.

 

“What should I do?” called Meleny, the farm girl, even as she brought up her crossbow and loosed a bolt into the swamp.

 

“You’re doing fine, snooky!” called Reynard.

 

“I love you, my love!” called Meleny.

 

“You are the light of my heart!” called Reynard.

 

Dionysia snarled. The dog, catching her mood, barked excitedly.

 

One of the frog-things leaped at Perry, her shield barely deflecting its strike! Rolling back, the chain-mail clad Dwarf swung her axe viciously at the monstrous amphibian, but the blade turned on its slime coated hide.

 

The other amphibian ignored a glancing blow from Jack’s spear as it lunged at Dio, catching the girl in its massive jaws! The woman gasped with pain as bone bent and flesh tore, blood spilling into swamp water.

 

Jack re-positioned himself, braced, and plunged his spear deep into the side of the beast, drenching himself in its fluids.

 

Spinning, green light shining from her, the now gigantic Barbara clove her glaive through the monster’s spine, showering Jack in gore, and in a continuation of the same blow brought the glaive down, deep down into the lower back of the other frog.

 

“Did you see that!?!” shouted Barbara. “Kord rules! Kord!”

 

“Praise Kord” muttered Jack, using his free hand to hurriedly wipe frog blood and swamp slime from his face and eyes.

 

“Courage, honey bunny!” Reynard called out to Meleny. He gestured, and energy flashed from his hands and eyes into Dionysia. Space seemed to shift and twist, and the young woman’s body and equipment doubled in size, adding a second human giant to the field.

 

Dio looked down at the remaining frog-thing, suddenly smaller in her eyes, and brought the blade of her now-massive scimitar down upon its back. The monster’s back broke; it croaked its last. Dio stood, confused, in the sudden silence. Fox had fed her strength. Her Fox had …

 

“You’re wonderful, my love!” called out Meleny, throwing her arms around Fox. “You did it!”

 

Dio, still gigantic, turned towards the farm girl, her eyes displaying murderous intent.

 

It was probably a very good thing that, just then, two more giant frogs hopped from the swamp.

 

Kate acted quickly. The Elf’s blue hair flew wildly as she charged forwards, calling out the syllables of a sleep-charm. The air seemed to ripple as one of the two charging swamp-beasts was forced into slumber.

 

Dio spun about, continuing to twirl as her scimitar smashed through the skull of the second frog-monster, showering her in gore as she killed the creature with a single blow.

 

Dripping with blood, both her own and that of the frog, Dio felt better. As Jack butchered the frog Kate had brought down, Perry stepped to Dio and whispered prayers of healing. Dio’s wounds closed.

 

“Is all well with you, my friend?” Perry asked.

 

“I’ve got to find some swamp lotus” muttered Dio, eyes downcast.

 

The party cautiously moved forwards.

 

Well, cautiously except for the dog, stubby tail furiously waggling.

 

“The pain of the heart is no less real than the pain of the body,” said the Dwarf, keeping pace with her currently enormous Human friend.

 

“Heart pain is body pain,” said Dio, smiling slightly, “you treat it with white willow bark and foxglove.” Her smile faded.

 

Yet another giant frog leaped from the swamp. Jack’s spear and Bar’s glaive held it back, while Kate’s fired an arrow that failed to find its mark.

 

“A little help here!” shouted Jack.

 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” shouted Dio to Perry, fumbling a scimitar swipe at the frog.

 

“Talk about what?” shouted Jack.

 

“What are we talking about?” Reynard asked, again twisting space and leaving the Dwarf, Perry, just over nine feet tall.

 

“Nothing!” Dio barked, blushing furiously.

 

Perry, employing her magically augmented mass and reach, landed a terrible blow to the side of the giant frog. “We were just discussing heart pain and its treatment!” She called.

 

“Jaroo says you treat heart problems with white willow bark and foxglove” said Meleny, firing yet another crossbow bolt harmlessly into the undergrowth.

 

Dio’s large dog lunged forwards out of the swamp water and tore into the side of the frog. The amphibian died.

 

As the seven adventurers and one large, wet dog entered the Moathouse courtyard, Jack raised his hand.

 

“Careful. There are bound to be …”

 

At which point, Dio’s dog charged into the courtyard, provoking an attack by hidden crossbowmen.

 

“Wait for it!” shouted Jack.

 

One crossbowman fired a bolt that struck the dog, leaving a bloody gash along its side. A concealed swordsman leaped from behind cover, charged, and struck the dog a second bloody blow.

 

“Dog!” called Dio.

 

“Hold!” called Jack, “For the gods sake wait!”

 

Jack, Perry, and Bar moved out into the courtyard, bringing the full area into view, revealing yet more bandits.

 

Dio gestured and called out, her cry charged with magic, and the world answered. A huge, snarling wolf appeared behind the swordsman that had struck at Dio’s dog.

 

“I can do that!” Meleny let out her own call to nature, begging the world to hear her. The sky answered, and a small owl swooped down beside the wolf.

 

Dio refrained from comment.

 

Kate and Fox moved forward slightly, and each loosed a charm of sleep, Fox incanting from a scroll, Kate using magic held in memory. Instantly, two crossbowmen and two swordsmen fell.

 

Perry, Jack and Bar moved forward. Blood drenched work followed.

 

After the courtyard was cleared of bodies, Reynard’s space-distorting enchantments faded, and the conjured animals fled. Dio set out to search the swamps. Bar tended the dog.

 

Later, on Dio’s return, the news was not promising.

 

“No swamp lotus out there” Dio told Jack.

 

“I see.” Jack thought for a moment. “Did you check the frog’s bodies?”

 

“Yes. They swallowed a bandit or two, but no swamp lotus.”

 

Jack nodded, and looked around the courtyard. The doors to the Moathouse were inviting, but a small watch tower in the courtyard’s corner drew his gaze. “We’ll camp there,” Jack announced. “A roof to keep the rain off and we can bar the door.”

 

As the young adventurers entered the tower, a giant spider dropped from above, spraying them with webbing.

 

“I hate these things!” shrieked Kate, releasing the power of a Scroll of Sleep to down the creature. Reynard rushed forward to kill the slumbering arachnid, as the others examined their temporary home and prepared to make camp.

 

Much later, over a bubbling pot of frog and spider soup, Dio and Perry talked.

 

“We did well today, my friend” said Perry, offering Dio another serving of the night’s repast.

 

“Yes,” said Dio, “I guess we did.” Dio’s dog rested at her feet, worrying at a frog bone.

 

At least, she hoped it was a frog bone.

 

“We were a team,” said Perry. “This small band took down no fewer than six monsters, and eight hardened killers. We work well together.”

 

“Even the farm girl?” said Dio, looking Perry in the eye.

 

“Even the farm girl,” said Perry, meeting Dio’s gaze.

 

“I guess.” Dio looked down.

 

Perry gently placed a calloused hand on Dio’s shoulder. “Ehlonna, your patron, teaches that there is a time when all things pass. I know the pain in this, but always growth and pain walk together.”

 

Dionysia smiled, slightly. “So what does Moradin say a Dwarf should do if her boyfriend dumps her?”

 

Perry smiled in return. “Doctrine suggests hitting the wandering male with a large hammer, but in recent days there has been some debate on this.”

 

As the two women laughed, at the far end of the room, wrapped in Reynard’s bedding, the farm girl prayed to the deities of the Old Faith.

 

“Please,” Meleny whispered, “please, send me a companion, a guardian. I am a true follower; send me a sign.” The powers of land and sky seemed to listen; for an instant, within the tower, the world seemed to hold its breath.

 

With a surge of wind, a 12 pound hen, perfect in all proportions, appeared beside the farm girl.

 

“Cluck?”

 

End Part the Eighth

 

Next: Rats

[OddHat]

Re: Cross Posted: TOEE Co8 CRPG Fan Fic and Walk Through

 

Part the Ninth: Rats in the Walls

 

From the Journals of Jack B. Swift, Professional Adventurer, published 585, Greyhawk Press

 

We spent that night in the Moathouse watch tower. It was a pretty good night, too. Bar had a few of her Applied Violence 302: Quick Draw texts with her, and she let me work with them. She was doing a two-weapon drill half the night.

 

Long blade in her right hand, dagger in her left, she spun and danced through that cramped guard tower. Her muscles moved smoothly under fire-lit skin, her body and weapons working in beautiful and frightening harmony. Twice she accidentally kicked Dio’s dog. The dog ran and jumped around her feet after that.

 

I saw Perry talking with Dio, probably a good thing. Somehow Perry got Dio laughing. The two of them got out Perry’s port-a-desk and Perry started working Dio through some basic scribing.

 

“What are you reading?” Kate asked me, putting her hand on my shoulder. I looked up at her face. It took me a while; she was still wearing that corset, and my eyes got caught for a bit on their way up. Kate was grinning when I finally met her violet gaze.

 

“Some of Bar’s books,’ I said, “basic fighting stuff.”

 

Kate moved in front of me, putting one hand on each shoulder. Avoiding letting my eyes wander became a struggle. Her grin got wider. “So you’re interested in fighting?”

 

“Among other things.” I tried to pull her down; a light kiss, and then she pulled away.

 

“You really think the Princess Tillahi is somewhere in here?” She looked serious.

 

Over in the corner, where Fox and his new girl were bedding down, there was a sudden loud squawking. The biggest chicken I had ever seen was jumping up and down among the blankets. Dio’s dog, already over-excited from playing with Bar, took after the chicken like a shot.

 

That chicken sure could move.

 

The two of them raced in circles, the room full of yaps and squawks and flying feathers. Up they went over the short watchtower stairway, down again across the floor, banking off the walls, the dog knocking over first Perry’s port-a-desk and then the soup pot. Frog and spider soup spread in an unappetizing tide across the floor, and then the dog and chicken ran through it on their next pass.

 

Finally Dio called her dog over and got the thing under control, and the chicken went back to stand squawking by Meleny’s feet and glare with offended chicken dignity at the dog. The soup was already soaking into our bedding.

 

“I wanted an animal companion” Mel explained, near tears.

 

Fox held her and started in with soothing noises (“It’s OK, pumpkin” type of thing) while Dio grinned like a mad woman and helped Perry get her port-a-desk back together. The rest of us cleaned up the sleeping area as best we could. The bedding would smell like soup for a long time.

 

“You never answered my question” said Kate as we finished up.

 

I was still tired from the days hiking and fighting, and more so from the great dog and chicken battle. Still, I answered as best I could. “I don’t know.”

 

Kate just looked at me.

 

I shrugged. “We’ve talked to everyone in town. The rumors lead here and maybe to that Temple. So, we go in here and see what we can find. If we’re lucky, Tillahi will be somewhere inside. If not, maybe we’ll learn where the Temple is. If we don’t get even that far, it’s still a chance to make the area a little safer and help ourselves to a small fortress full of bandit loot.”

 

“I love it when you talk all Adventurer” said Kate, and crawled under the blankets.

 

The next morning, we headed into the Moathouse.

 

“Achoo!” Barbara sneezed. She was a healthy girl with strong, capacious lungs, and she had a sneeze that’d make a veteran jump out of his boots. “Sorry,” she said, “allergies.”

 

The Moathouse was filthy, rubble and garbage everywhere. Imagine a mulch pile in high summer after a three day rain; now imagine eating it. That’s the stench of the Moathouse.

 

Rats the size of large dogs pushed trails through the muck. They ignored us.

 

“Try talking to them” suggested Reynard.

 

I looked at him.

 

“You talked to the one in the Tavern.” He was grinning.

 

I considered throwing some muck at him, but decided that wouldn’t suit my role as party leader. Also, I didn’t want to touch it. I settled for a glare, but it didn’t have much effect.

 

There was a big pair of double doors, two single doors and a hall visible from the entrance. I stalked forwards cautiously through the room, in part trying to stay quiet, but mostly because I didn’t want to get any more rat droppings and other assorted filth on my clothes than I had to.

 

“Try the double doors,” Bar suggested through her sniffling, “bound to be something nasty through there.”

 

“I’m being stealthy here!” I barked, and then felt like an idiot. I straightened up and opened the door on the south wall.

 

Snake. Big snake. Very big snake and many blood sucking birds.

 

One dead very big snake and many dead blood sucking birds later, we tried the door on the south west wall.

 

We entered a disused barracks.

 

Kate let out a shriek and a string of curses as a tick bigger than a human child lunged for her leg. A scimitar blow from Dio and a poke from Fox’s spear took care of it.

 

“This place is disgusting!” Kate continued cursing, now in Elvish (a great language for rhyming cleanliness related profanity).

 

As we entered the storage room at the end of the hall, I spotted a gigantic lizard before it was able to spot us. Just as I was about to move in and deal with it, Meleny whispered “Please, let me help!”

 

I looked at her, and then nodded.

 

Stepping into the room bold as brass, she began calling out “Who is a little snuggle lizard? You’re beautiful! You’re mommy’s little cuddle woo, yes you are!”

 

I fully expected the giant lizard to kill her.

 

Instead, eyes shining, the huge thing wandered amicably over and rolled onto its back by her feet. Meleny kneeled down and started scratching its belly.

 

“Who’s a little cuddle boy? You’re such a sweetie, aren’t you?” Mel cooed. The creature made a happy lizard noise, its eyes still showing that odd glow.

 

I smiled and went to work on a chest on the south wall. The rest of the group wandered in, glancing over at Mel and the lizard. Fox was smiling so wide I thought his head would drop off. Even Dio looked grudgingly approving, which was more than I’d expected.

 

“Have a look!” I showed the gang the loot. One very nice crossbow, a valuable suit of armor, some silver tipped crossbow bolts, and some cash.

 

“Catch” I called to Mel, tossing her the crossbow. I met Perry’s gaze and she nodded. Mel smiled like I’d just given her a medal, checked and wound her new crossbow, and passed her old one to Fox.

 

The whole party got ourselves together and headed back to the entrance chamber, five humans, one Dwarf, one Elf, one dog, a giant lizard (still following Mel) and a large chicken.

 

Perry opened the double doors on the north east wall. We sent the giant lizard in first.

 

What followed was quick.

 

“Wall!” I called, moving forward and bringing up my spear. I saw Perry take a step back and start muttering prayers. Bar stepped forwards, raising her long blade and bringing up a wooden shield while praying herself.

 

Two of the bandits rushed forwards and slashed ineffectually at the giant lizard. A third charged past the monster, taking a vicious bite to the leg in the process, and swung at Perry.

 

Fox and Kate chanted, and the biggest of the bandits fell unconscious along with one of his crossbowmen. Dio brought up her shield and completed the wall, while calling out another prayer; a large wolf appeared by the fallen bandit leader. Mel stood back and let out her own prayer, and a smaller wolf appeared.

 

“All this singing,” said Bar, “it’s like an Elven Council meeting!”

 

“Verb you” said Kate.

 

The bandits were now trapped in a small room with two wolves and a giant lizard. Their leader was down. I and Fox had our spears, Kate had her bow, and Mel had her new crossbow. It was a slaughter.

 

After the battle ended, we were tired but more confident. It was a good feeling.

 

“Sire,” asked Dio, “shall we continue our search for the Princess?”

 

I shook my head. “We need some rest. We’ll come back and clean this place out tomorrow.”

 

Mel in particular was looking proud of herself, and with reason. She’d even managed to shoot one of the bandits. “May I keep Mister Lizard?” she asked. Before I could answer, Dio spoke up.

 

“Yes,” said Dio, “but he sleeps in the corner with you and Reynard.”

 

“Thank you!” cried Meleny, “Oh thank you! He’s such a funny lizard! I’ll take good care of him!”

 

Dio was struggling to hold back a grin as we headed back to the Moathouse watch tower.

 

That night, after we bedded down, the odd look went out of the eye of the lizard, and it took a good sized chunk out of Fox before we were able to put it down.

 

I spotted Dio grinning like a mad woman as Meleny panicked and Perry and Barbara prayed over Fox’s wound until it closed.

 

End Part the Ninth

 

Next: Rob Zombies