tomd1969

Zzzzzz..... Kill all humans.... Zzzzzz hey baby you wanna kill all the humans? Zzzzz (snort)...Oh hey I just had the weirdest dream. I think you were in it.

Today is a beautiful day on Long Island. The temps are in the low 50's, there is a gentle breeze coming off the water. It's the kind of day that, were Gloria still living on the Island, she would hit me over the head with a blackjack and shanghai me to Smith's Point Beach or Montauk Point.

This weather is bullshit.

I shot the sheriff but I didn't shoot the deputy.

The nightmare is over. I have safely landed in Raleigh.

Nap Achievement: unlocked (50 points). Time Panic Achievement unlocked (75 points). Large Unnecessary Purchase unlocked (50 points).

This just in: Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage.

Dear God/Santa/Oprah,Please raise the IQ around here before I start choking people. These people are so stupid that there isn't a jury in the world that would convict me if I did, but still....Love, your buddy,Tom the Grouch

Today I learned: the song in my head is called "Hair of the Dog" not "Son of a Bitch" and is performed by Nazareth not AC/DC.

I finally have a watch on my arm, and all is finally right with the universe.

Rewatching Fringe, starting with Season 1 Ep 1. It's fun watching Olivia go down the rabbit hole.

I have RSVP'ed to Ryan and Dustin's wedding. Can hardly wait.

Chelsea Piers: geographical location or porn star?

Warning: Gloria is a lying liar. In the history of lying liars, she is the lyingest liar.

Vacation has been approved and plane tickets have been purchased to see my sister and niece in NC.

Who's got two thumbs and just got his invitation to Ryan and Dustin 's wedding? This guy!

Jesus, what does Leonardo DiCaprio have to do to win? #oscars

Great and funny movie.

I feel old. How old? The oldies station is playing "West End Girls" by the Pet Shop Boys. Answer: I feel very old.

I'm hungry. I have no food at home, so that means I have to go out. Going out means that if I don't want to get arrested I must put on pants. I guess I'm not *that* hungry.

When you die, friends go to your funeral, good friends will reminisce about that trip to Miami, best friends will delete your browser history.

Watching The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.

I would have spent this Valentine's day with a special someone if it weren't for the restraining order.

I'm kinda at that awkward moment where an acquaintance who's a Facebook friend just changed their status from "In a relationship" to "Single," and you see a couple of days later their ex is dating another Facebook friend. Whoops.