jkwleisemann

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
I came across this while cleaning up some older posts on the Savage Earth forums. The subject is online dice rollers.
 
Dice Roller Help Text: xdy will roll x number of y-sided dice. X can be any decimal value (greater than 0). Y is any positive integer.
 
Player: What's an integer? Is that a car?
 
GM:The integer is a predatory mutant creature that stalks trade caravans. It will force the accountant in the party to tally up their books. If there is a discrepency, it will devour the perpetrator. This is the friendlier "positive" integer. "Negative" integers don't bother with social niceties and just subtract members of the caravan until sated, at which point they become positive.
The most feared integer is the "rooted" integer. Rooted integers will stay in one place and wait for their prey to come to them. "Square-rooted" integers have nine-inch fangs and vicious claws, armor-like hide, and shoot laser beams from their eyes. They are rarely a problem since they are pretty beneficent, or positive. Fortunately for unwary travellers, square-rooted negative integers are purely imaginary.
 
Keith "i" Curtis

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Once in a great while, a player almost unwittingly utters a line that suspends all gaming activity for a noticeable amount of time. Thus do I present unto this forum....
....Tomorrow Boy: The Defenders' uber-genius teenage gadgeteer from the future with a penchant for accidentally dropping references to future events.
 
The group was investigating a crime scene when Foxbat (who is convinced that The Defenders have shown him the error of his ways and is striving to prove he's now a hero and worthy of joining the team) interrupted them in an attempt to "help." Having already determine which direction the criminals had fled by using his high-tech gadgetry, Tomorrow Boy points the overeager Foxbat in the wrong direction.
 
Tomorrow Boy - You might be able to help us after all, Bats. Looks like whoever did this went THAT way! *points* We still have some wrap-up work to do, but if YOU hurry, you might catch 'em!
 
Foxbat - Ah ha! Evil doers beware! *he ascends to his Foxbatcopter and heads off.*
 
Nighthawk - Nice work dealing with that lunatic, TB.
 
Tomorrow Boy - Eh, no problem. Still.... hard to believe that guy actually becomes President.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
GUPRS Fantasy. The PCs are at the closing of a Tournament, and they have just been hired by the Queens champion when the the anouncements begin.
 
Anouncer: And to Stewart DeLancey, the King awards one of his prize mares.
Doomed PC: Not the Queen!
Queen's Champion: *Quickdraw sword, critical hit, location 5 (head), result 3 (instant death), quickdraw hankerchief (I kid you not), wipe sword clean.* (Everything the Queen's Champion did was in a single GURPS combat round. i.e. 1 second.)

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Well, not really 'quote of the week,' as this took place some years ago, in a 4E game, but it's still memorable.
 
First off, the necessary background. Radar was a flying projector - practically a speedster, but he preferred to rely on his Laser Blast than Move Throughs.
 
Not that move-throughs were a serious problem for him - he could dole out somewhere in the neighborhood of 30" of flight movement even before his NCM multiples came into play, so he could cause some *serious* hurt to just about anything, himself included (low defenses). Of course, his 4d6 AP RKA could do that pretty well on its own (the aforementioned laser blast), but that's beside the point.
 
We were younger and I wasn't paying close enough attention to the fact that, as the GM, I had veto powers. Ah, the foolhardiness of youth, eh?
 
Anyways, Radar was played by a player of mine who practically *begged* to have Foxbat thrown at him... and so Foxbat was thusly thrown. When the fight *opens* with a 15" flying wedgie, and Foxbat *isn't* the guy administering it... well, y'know things are already starting to go strangely.
 
As the rest of the group watches in sheer disbelief, what started out as a largely random encounter quickly becomes an exercise in increasing ridiculousness as Foxbat's attention is *thoroughly* shifted to the superhero who interrupted his Master Plan of taking over the city by robbing ice-cream trucks (and getting some Fudge Ripple in the process). Foxbat fires on Radar, Radar returns fire... it's all pretty well normal, really, except for the two people involved. Until Foxbat fires off a Smoke Ball, blinding Radar in the darkness field.
 
Then fires a net at Radar, and actually manages to hit, entangling him.
 
Now, not wanting to *kill* Radar with a fall, I rule that a net wouldn't result in him falling, just tangle him up and keep him in place until he can find a way out.
 
And oh did he *ever* find a way out.
 
Andy: "After spending the last phase trying to break free, I'll just use my Flight at full speed to bust out of the net."
 
Everybody around the table stopped and looked at him like he was crazy.
 
Me: "Are you sure you want to do that?" I ask him. "You have no real idea which way you're pointed."
 
A: "Yeah," he says easily.
 
M: "You're going to have to dice for which way you're pointing when you take off."
 
A: "That's fine."
 
M: "Your *full* movement, including non-combat?"
 
A: "Oh, I can use that? Cool, that way I'll be *sure* to get out!"
 
Keep in mind, throughout this exchange everybody's eyes are getting wider and wider as they do the math, and a few people have even caught on to what will almost inevitably happen and just laid their heads down and groaned. With his NCM, Radar's movement is somewhere in the neighborhood of 120" of Flight.
 
M: "Okay, I'll let you pick if you're going to dice for left/right, or up/down."
 
A: "Up/down, six is straight down."
 
I can only assume he was *planning* on getting a 3 or 4 and going straight *up*.
 
M: "Uhm... okay. Roll it."
 
Now, it doesn't take a 3 on your Deduction roll to figure out just what he managed to roll. Or the reaction everybody else had when he found out he was breaking out of a smoke-cloud and speeding towards the ground at maximum speed. His reaction, to his credit, was reprintable.
 
A: "WHAT?!?!?"

I was gentle, and let him only take Stun damage... and allowed him to reduce it as though it was for a move-through, instead of falling damage... and capped it at 30d6 (maximum falling damage, at the time)....
 
He's just lucky that 911 is on Foxbat-Speed-Dial.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 
Not from the game itself, but from a hypothetical situation ...
 
"You know, it's disturbingly easy to imagine some members of the Legion of Doom bashing down the door to a hero's HQ, levelling their weapons or powers or whatever at them, then calmly intoning, 'We're on a mission from Grodd'."