BoloOfEarth

Re: Jokes

As a salute to the Amish:

An Amish man and his son were riding in their horse-drawn buggy up a long, narrow one-lane road, when they had to stop because of a BMW coming the other way. There was no way for either vehicle to pass the other. Either the car or the buggy would have to back up several miles to let the other through.

The Amish man said, "You need to back up, please, so we can continue our journey."

The BMW driver said, "Screw that, YOU back up!"

The Amish man got out of his buggy, walked up to the BMW while rolling up his sleeves, and said in a deadly calm voice, "Back up, or I will be forced to do something that I truly do not wish to do."

The BMW driver was freaked and began backing up the road.

As the Amish man got back into his buggy, his son (also a bit in shock) asked, "If he had not backed up, Father, what was it you would have done that you did not wish to do?"

The Amish man shrugged. "Back up several miles."

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

From last night's D&D game:

(After ranger got two critical hits in a row):

"Well, you can't crit him again, you've already cut both of 'em off."

(Above quote was followed by several "Rocky Mountain Oysters" jokes, which led to the next quote):

"He has bad gas problems when he eats demon."

Re: Stretching a point

Not yet, this campaign I am running is the first time I recall a player having Stretching as a primary part of his character. I'll have to give some thought to running that and see what happens.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

Um, OK.

 

Hork with the character because of problems with the player. Well, if it works for your group.....

It was a joke, she doesn't really have that power, or the side effect, or even a thong (at least, as far as I know). I just wrote it on the character sheet so she'll see it the next time we play, and can share in the joke. This player *always* creates high-COM female characters (a 28 or 32 COM is common for her), so we often poke a little fun at her in that regard. (The "beautiful ditz" cliche, which BTW she isn't.) She seems to go along with the humor pretty well, even makes a few jokes of her own in that regard, so I don't think she has a real problem with it.

It's like the time I started a campaign, and one player hadn't picked out all his character's disads yet. I let him play the unfinished character, but in the disad section of the character sheet I wrote "Hunted (11-) Dr. Destroyer". As a joke. The "big D" never showed up.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

Ooops ! I didn't mean to ruin the game so completely!

 

NT: Signs that the assembled world leaders at the UN banquet really should have stayed away from the punch bowl.

Kim Jung Il is curled up under teh speakers podium' date=' sucking his thumb asleep, and Iran's President is on a table, doing a strip tease.[/quote']

 

Although seeing George W and Chavez telling each other, "I love you, man!" was worth the price of admission.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

:sigh: My point is' date=' I'm trying to do it so that her wearing a thong is does not lower [i']her[/i] INT, which Bolo's write-up does.

Actually, since she keeps missing game nights, lowering her INT along with everybody else's was part of the point.

Re: Comicbook gaming: something's missing...

(And the first person to create Mutant Sea Monkeys with Frickin' Laser-Beams on their Heads will be subject to a stern and disapproving look)

But since you asked:

20 Mutant Sea Monkeys: Multipower (40 pts), OAF

2u Mutant Sea Monkeys: STR 10 Telekinesis, Fine Manipulation, 0 END, Only under Water, OAF (SFX: Greenish glow - that's the "mutant" part)

2u Frickin' Lasers On Their Heads: 1d6+1 RKA, No Range Modifier, 0 END, Doesn't work under water, OAF

Re: Comicbook gaming: something's missing...

Joe Linehan, one of the Haymaker! authors and a frequent GM at GenCon, has a group of wonderful characters called The Auditioners. One of them, the Dark Avenger, is an avid comic book fan and gets all of his gadgets out of the back of comic books. For him, they all work as "advertised."

Most of them are plain powers with a focus (like N-Ray Vision, OIF).

And yes, he has Sea Monkeys (STR 10 Telekinesis, Fine Manipulation, Under Water Only, OAF).

Re: Jokes

Cross-posting from the Batman/Captain America thread:

At the end of the night a US Marine leaves a bar.

Outside he sees a nun. He walks over to her and slaps her in the face. Then he punches her in the stomach and knocks her over.

He proceeds to kick her several times and when he's done he bends down to her and says, "Not as tough as a Marine, are you Batman?"

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

From my Champions game:

"Oh, he's invisible? I didn't see that."

One (female) player has missed several weeks lately, and another player might play her high-COM character if I've involved her in the plot in some way. Frustrated at the frequent absences, I wrote on her character sheet a new power (+10 PRE, Side Effect: 1d6 INT Drain, OIF: Thong) and said that's her new costume for the night.

Another player pointed out, "Shouldn't that INT drain be Area of Effect - Radius?"

Re: Jokes

How about a military joke?

Private Jones was assigned to the Marine induction center, where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their Serviceman's Group Life Insurance (SGLI). It wasn't long before the center's Lieutenant noticed that Private Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Lt. stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones' sales pitch.

Jones explained the basics of the SGLI to the new recruits, and then said. "If you have SGLI and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have SGLI, and you go into battle and get killed, the government has to pay only a maximum of $6000."

"Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?"

Re: Jokes

Don't know if this one was told yet, if so I apologize.

A ventriloquist visits a farm, and the farmer is showing him around. When he sees a dog by the house, he figures he'll have a little fun with the farmer. So he leans down and asks the dog, "So, how do you like living on this farm?"

Then he throws his voice so it sounds like the dog says, "Oh, it's pretty good, lots of chickens to chase, the master gives me a bone now and then. I can't complain."

The farmer is amazed, and the ventriloquist walks up to a horse standing by the barn. "And how about you? How's the farmer treat you?" Again throwing his voice, he makes the horse say, "Welllll, I get plenty of hay and a nice wash every week. It would be nice to get to run in the field more, though."

The farmer is standing there dumfounded as the ventriloquist heads over to a cow. "How about you, Bossie?" And the cow 'says', "Other than the farmer's cold hands when he milks me, it's pretty nice here."

At this point the farmer runs up to the ventriloquist, grabs his arm, and says, "Don't believe the sheep. They're all stinkin' liars."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Why would you make an Excellent President?

Because I can pronounce "nuclear" correctly.

NT: Poorly thought-out ideas for death traps

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

Wilt Cola! The soft drink that makes you impotent!

NT: Bad name for the new computer virus you just created to help take over the world.

Re: Magic special effect

I look at powers having both a special effect (fire / cold / electricity / etc.) and a power base (magic / mutation / technology / etc.). Since power bases are much larger groups, I correspondingly increase Disadvantages / Advantages that relate to a power base rather than a SFX (generally double the value for Advantages, or up a level on Disads), and decrease Limitations in a similar fashion.

(I can't claim this as my original idea, but I don't know where I first heard it. I've been handling it this way since 4th edition days.)

So a Vulnerable to Magic would automatically be Common in my game, even if magic isn't all *that* commonplace. To Suppress any one Technological power would be +1/2 instead of +1/4. And a Force Field that only protected against Mutant attacks would be -1/4 instead of -1/2.

Of course, YMMV. That's just how I do it in my campaign.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

Not a gaming quote, but one I'm going to have to work into a villain's soliloquy.

My daughter was putting away some clothes and came out of her room to get some wire coat hangers. When she walked back past me, she waved the two hangers in front of my face and said, "Beware... my coat hangers of DOOOOOOM!!!"

(Sniff) My little 13 year-old would-be supervillain... I'm so proud...

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: The best goldarn use for a ten-penny nail. Ever.

(sometime in the hopefully-near future)

"Okay, Osama, you've been sentenced to die, so I guess you figure you're going to Paradise to be with your 72 Virgins. But, y'see, we're just going to keep this little memento (chop) nailed to the wall here (hammer, hammer, hammer)... it ain't goin' there with ya..."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT:

Gadgets Batman Does NOT carry in the utility belt.

Ben-wa balls.

Wanna bet?

Cheez-whiz

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Signs it's time to spay your catgirl.

She exists. The simple fact that she's a catgirl begs the need for spaying.

NT: The correct way to answer the question: "Does this dress make my butt look big?"

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

From a D&D game last Sunday:

The beautiful sorceress/possible vampire who had captured the ranger, Y'llek, is firing a flame strike at a group of adventurers that included Y'llek.

Ryan: "She's shooting at Y'llek? I thought she likes him!"

Aren: "She likes him well done."

Breaking down the front door of the building where the sorceress has taken refuge:

Ryan: "So, I have to bash the door with my sword?"

DM: "No, you could bash it with your face, but it'll hurt a lot more."

Interacting with a PC who knows Ryan is from a noble family.

DM: "She hasn't heard that you've been ostrasized from your family."

Another player: "Ostrich-sized?!"

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Signs that the commandos storming your Evil Base of Ultimate Doom are not as competent as they think they are.

They're all yelling, "Go, Joe!" Then again, all my troops are yelling "COBRA!!!" and firing wildly, so I guess I can't complain.

NT: Worst battle cry ever.

Re: pulp inventions

So, did the earthquake machine work?

Re: Empire Club map.

Here's some cargo ship deck plans and side elevations I got off the web, maybe they'll help. Sorry for the poor quality on some, not much I could do to clean them up.

Re: Trailing a Wall

*coughcoughs*

 

*points to Troff*

I'm either completely missing it, or Troff doesn't have the "wall" part of the lightcycle written in. (I'm assuming the "Physical Manifestation" is the cycle itself.)

Re: Trailing a Wall

I never saw Tron (I guess I lose my geek-hood now), so I don't know -- do the walls stay up semi-permanently? If so, I'd suggest an AOE (any hexes) Entangle instead of a Force Wall. Just buy up the number of hexes in the AOE to match the speed of the vehicle.