Basic description of Aerelios (please critique)

[Mr. R]

Aerelios is not on the coast where the Gefting Sea empties into the Kulana River, but rather a few kilometers inland.  The river at this point is about five (5) kilometers wide, allowing for communication between the East and West parts of the city by ferries that operate day and night (night being more expensive and restricted for safety reasons).  There are docks on both sides, with a restricted dock further up the city on the East side for the supply of warships the city can call on.  This is also where the barracks for those soldiers living in town are located.  As well it has very simple accommodations for warriors visiting and staying for a limited time.

 

Each city is surrounded by a wall, the cities populations have spread over the walls and into the surrounding areas.  Here are found most of the farms and orchards that help supply food to the cities.  Each wall has three gates for ease of access.  There is no wall over the river, but instead a LARGE chain at the end of both upper and lower wall, can be raised to hinder traffic.  Also there are catapults on the bank sighted to fire on the river and traffic.

 

Because of the size of the river, there are two ruling districts, where the Lord Mayor and Deputy Mayor reside, one to a side.  Either side also has a headquarters for the city guard arranged as follows

City Guard:

Three levels

1- Basic guard (the Hawks) Patrol the city sometimes accompanied by a cleric of Themis

2- Investigators (the Owls)

3- Special Branch (catch all for strike teams to assassins [hey they might be good, but not stupid] called the Eagles)

Courts are on the West side with serious cases having a cleric of Themis in attendance 

 

 

Both sides also have sizable fishing fleets as it is simpler to bring food directly to both cities, rather than just one, then ferry it over.  Many accuse some of the fisher people of being smugglers, but as the families are fluid, it can be hard to prove.  This is also where most of the low cost housing can be found.

 

If the East side has the Warships, the West is where the ships are built.  Most of the boat builders and craftsmen are located on the west side.  As a result of this most of the high end crafters and tradesmen are located on the West side.  There are some on the East Side, but the better ones are on the West. 

 

Medium and high class housing are located just off from either City Hall, with the best houses being closer to the Hall and the worst (this being a relative term) being a few blocks out.

 

One the west side is the Mage School.  Here people study one of the three known magic traditions, Metier, Totems, Runecrafting.  It is also closest to a magic market, with potions, scrolls and limited use items for sale.  Also there is a fourth building for those who are not studying magic, but learning other academic skills.  

 

Most accommodations are found at the dock areas, with better accommodations near the gate areas on both sides of the cities. 

 

Temples and Shrines to all the major deities can be found around each city.  Major temples are located at the following locations:

Toubaris– West side near the Crafts lane.

Themis– Either City Hall

Marileea– Two, one in either market on the east and West side

Readaer– The Mage School

 

Kogano, Selan and Tolar don’t have Major temples or shrines, but minor ones are found all along the dock areas, and in the communities just outside the city walls.

 

Zylan has a shrine in the hospital, but mostly it is an attempt to placate him rather than worship

 

Chast – Next door to Toubaris, (she likes to take digs at him)

Bitva– At the barracks and military docks 

Orchen– Has no major Shrines, but many smaller ones are located around town, especially where people work with fire (black and white smiths, dye shops, brewers, taverns etc.)  Again this is mostly to placate him.

Olea– Like Marileea, one at either market, though they are not that large.

 

Constructive comments welcome and appreciated!

[DShomshak]

20 hours ago, Mr. R said:

Aerelios is not on the coast where the Gefting Sea empties into the Kulana River, but rather a few kilometers inland. 

This sentence seems backwards.

 

Don't start by saying what something isn't. We have no expectations that must be contradicted, so this makes no sense.

 

Rivers generally empty into seas rather than seas into rivers. Is the Kulana River in fact an outflow from the Gefting Sea, on the way to some other body of water? If so, look for a way to briefly and gracefully remind the reader of this.

 

Dean Shomshak

[Mr. R]

4 hours ago, DShomshak said:

This sentence seems backwards.

 

Don't start by saying what something isn't. We have no expectations that must be contradicted, so this makes no sense.

 

Rivers generally empty into seas rather than seas into rivers. Is the Kulana River in fact an outflow from the Gefting Sea, on the way to some other body of water? If so, look for a way to briefly and gracefully remind the reader of this.

 

Dean Shomshak

 

 

 

Will modify.  Thank you!