Please critique this character

[starblaze]

Hi there,Just wanted your input on this new character from my Teen Heroes game that I run on Fridays.Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated.Turtle FistPlayer: Richard

Val	Char	Cost
45	STR	35
14	DEX	12
25	CON	30
15	BODY	10
15	INT	5
11	EGO	2
15	PRE	5
10	COM	0
9/29	PD	0
5/25	ED	0
4	SPD	16
14	REC	0
50	END	0
51	STUN	0

14" RUN08" SWIM-29" LEAP0Characteristics Cost: 113

Cost	Power	END
40	Turtle Shell: Armor (20 PD/20 ED) (60 Active Points); OIF (-1/2)	0
5	Tail: Extra Limb (1)	0
6	Large heavy body: Knockback Resistance -3"	0
3	Large lungs: LS (Extended Breathing: 1 END per 5 Minutes)	0
11	Shell Head: Mental Defense (18 points total) (16 Active Points); Linked (Turtle Shell; -1/2)	0
12	Crippled human form: Multiform (60 Character Points in the most expensive form)	0
16	Large legs: Running +8" (14" total)	2
4	Large arms: Stretching 1" (5 Active Points); no Noncombat Stretching (-1/4)	1
8	Turtle body: Swimming +8" (8" total)	1
7	Instant Change: Cosmetic Transform 2d6 (into and out of Superhero costume) (10 Active Points); Limited Target (Clothes) Limited (-1/2)	1
10	Tunneling 2" through 2 DEF material	1

Powers Cost: 122

Cost	Skill
5	Cramming
3	Criminology 12-
3	Cryptography 12-
3	Deduction 12-
3	Forensic Medicine 12-
3	KS: Mystery Novels 12-
3	Streetwise 12-
4	Forgery (Documents, Money (Counterfeiting)) 12-

Skills Cost: 27

Val	Disadvantages
25	Distinctive Features: Big Ugly scary monster (Not Concealable; Extreme Reaction; Detectable By Commonly-Used Senses)
15	Social Limitation: Secret Identity Frequently (11-), Major
10	Physical Limitation: Clumsy Hands -2 penalty to manual dexterity rolls (Infrequently, Greatly Impairing)
10	Physical Limitation: 12' Tall (Frequently, Slightly Impairing)
15	Hunted: Police 8- (Mo Pow, NCI, Mildly Punish)
15	Physical Limitation: Has difficulty speaking (Frequently, Greatly Impairing)
10	Psychological Limitation: Code Versus Killing Common, Moderate

Disadvantage Points: 100

Base Points: 150Experience Required: 12Total Experience Available: 12Experience Unspent: 0Total Character Cost: 262

Height: 3.66 m	Hair: None
Weight: 400.00 kg	Eyes: Black

Appearance: 12 foot tall giant turtle man with green-grey skin, a long tail and a carapace over most of his body.Personality: Quote:Background: THE STORY OF TURTLEFIST

 

 

Stan Marsh had want he thought was a charmed life. He was the only son of the famously rich Marsh family, who had made millions in stock investments. His father and mother were loving, caring parents who taught him strong values so that he would not grow up to be a spoiled rich kid. They taught him hard work and to use his advantages to help those less fortunate then himself. Yes, everything was going well for Stan, he had a bright future, good parents, a lot of money and was destined to one day take over for his father’s philanthropic ways.

 

That was until his 13th birthday.

 

The authorities would later report that it was a simple brake malfunction that caused their limosuene to skid off the highway and go crashing down the hill. It didn’t matter to Stan though. His father and mother, Lance and Emily Marsh were dead. What made matters worse was that he was himself paralyzed with a damage spinal column from the neck down. He was almost completely disabled with no ability to talk or even feed himself. Although he was provided for with a medical staff to watch him and never had to worry about finances it didn’t matter to Stan. Everything he had was gone. For years he laid in bed doing nothing but watch T.V., sleep and weep for his loss. It wasn’t until one of his nurses left a paperback copy of Elery Queen open for him to read that he found some-thing to hang onto. He managed to communicate by blinking his eyes until the medical staff understood what he wanted. Soon he found himself devouring mysteries. He read everything from Elery Queen, Sherlock Holmes, Agatha Christie, Mickey Spilliane, Nero Wolfe, and so many others. He also read more fantastic fiction like comic books from the golden age as well as pulps.

 

This eventually caused him to develop an interest in criminology and forensics. He soon started reading books on investigations and criminal psychology. Eventually when he was prepared for college after being home schooled for 5 years he enrolled at Stanford University for a B.A. in criminal justice. College was a big move for Stan and it was difficult for him to get used to the staring and whispering he got. He had gotten better in the later years. He found he could move some of his fingers and had a special voice box put in that allowed him to speak to others electronically. He was also equipped with a motorized wheelchair that gave him more freedom.

 

Still with all of this Stan still fought depression and despair daily. He felt useless and because of his stranged appearance he had no friends that wanted to associate with the weird looking crippled. It finally came to ahead when his social studies class was giving out an assignment on the comparison of ancient cultures to modern ones. He was paired with two other students who were both beautiful and popular women. They stuck around for exactly 12 minutes before they excused themselves to get ‘freshened up’ and never came back. Stan felt crushed by yet another rejection and felt himself ready to give up and end it all when something happened. For a brief second, the entire room where he was sitting was covered in the most intense bright light that he had ever seen. He instantly felt himself changed to the core of his being. Suddenly he didn’t feel so hopeless, somehow he felt that from that moment on things were going to be different. Then he saw something he hadn’t seen since he was 13 years old. He saw his feet. But his feet were strange looking. They didn’t look like human feet, but were instead scaly with three large toes. He then looked at the rest of his body and was astounded to find that his entire body was now 12 feet tall with huge hands and feet. He also realized that his wheelchair had somehow morphed into a tough durable turtle shell. He then heard the sound of people coming to the door and panicked wishing that he didn’t look like some huge turtle monster. He was then amazed again to find himself back in his wheelchair just as he had been before.

 

Unsure of what to do at first Stan bided his time and waited for winter break. He found a private place and when his medical was not watching him he experimented. He discovered that he possesed immense strength and was very durable. He could also changed back into his human form whenever he wanted. His only problem was that he was hideously monstrous and barely able to talk in his turtle form. Still, he had mobility and tremendous strength and decided that providence had blessed him with a second chance. He would for the cause of justice as:

 

TURTLE FIST

Powers/Tactics: Campaign Use: Stan MarshPlayer:

Val	Char	Cost
1	STR	-9
10	DEX	0
10	CON	0
10	BODY	0
15	INT	5
15	EGO	10
15	PRE	5
10	COM	0
0	PD	0
2	ED	0
1	SPD	-10
2	REC	0
20	END	0
16	STUN	0

8" RUN-120" SWIM-20" LEAP0Characteristics Cost: -13

Cost	Power	END
10	Wheelchair: Running +8" (8" total), Reduced Endurance (0 END; +1/2) (24 Active Points); OAF Bulky (-1 1/2)

Powers Cost: 10

Cost	Skill
5	Cramming
3	Criminology 12-
3	Cryptography 12-
3	Deduction 12-
3	Forensic Medicine 12-
3	KS: Mystery Novels 12-
3	Streetwise 12-
4	Forgery (Documents, Money (Counterfeiting)) 12-

Skills Cost: 27

Cost	Perk
4	Contact: Doctor Odessa Counter (Contact limited by identity) 14-
12	Contact: Amatuer Detective Club (Contact has useful Skills or resources, Contact limited by identity), Organization Contact (x3) (12 Active Points) 13-
10	Money: Wealthy
10	Vehicles & Bases

Perks Cost: 36

Val	Disadvantages
25	Physical Limitation: Quadrapelegic (All the Time, Fully Impairing)
10	Physical Limitation: Cannot speak without electronic voice box (Frequently, Slightly Impairing)

Disadvantage Points: 35

Base Points: 25Experience Required: 0Total Experience Available: 0Experience Unspent: 0Total Character Cost: 60

Height: 2.00 m	Hair: Brown
Weight: 100.00 kg	Eyes: Brown

Appearance: Personality: Quote:Background: Powers/Tactics: Campaign Use: 

[Kirby]

Re: Please critique this character

 

Not bad for a brick character in a 250 game. I would be concerned with your low OCV and no skill levels. While it's acceptable for bricks to be easy to hit, it won't be fun if you aren't able to hit back. Maybe since your human form is only 36 points, you could sell back four character points and buy a HtH Skill level and a "Punch" CSL (or a few "Punch" CSLs).

 

Skimming over your background, it seems that your character naturally changes to his turtle form. If this is correct, why is his armor a focus? It can't be removed, can it? (If I skipped over something, just point that out.)

 

If you plan on keeping the 60 points for the human form, I'd suggest getting some perks, talents or money, etc. and maybe some social skills.

 

I think it's a pretty decent concept an design, though.

[starblaze]

Re: Please critique this character

 

The wheelchair that Stan rides around in morphs into the turtle shell. Therefore if he transforms while out of his chair he has no armor in the Turtle Form.

[Hugh Neilson]

Re: Please critique this character

 

The wheelchair that Stan rides around in morphs into the turtle shell. Therefore if he transforms while out of his chair he has no armor in the Turtle Form.

 

Unless the shell can be removed while he's in Turtle Man form, I would call the limitation "OIHID" and also require at least a full phase for the morph. With Multiform, I probably wouldn't even allow that.

 

I'd also use OIF, not Linked, on the mental defense. In "normal form", I'd boost his STR to 3 or 5, but sell back some CON, DEX , BOD and PRE (his Ego keeps his resistance to PRE attacks at 15 anyway).

 

I'd probably also lower the wheelchair to human norm 6", and buy it "no NCM".

 

To the Super form, does he need Instant Change when he has Multiform? Your +8" Swimming should total 10".

 

Actually, an alternative mechanic would be 0 END persistent Growth, maybe some Density Increase as well and lots of his stats and abilities OIHID or Linked to growth, rather than Multiform.

 

I second the motion to use any freed-up points to either boost DEX or buy some skill levels to enhance OCV.

[sbarron]

Re: Please critique this character

 

You probably realize it, but just in case...

 

Stan Marsh is the name of a character on South Park.