Superhero Filksong: If I had some Superpowers

[shadowcat1313]

not my original, borrowed from this LJ page with permission

http://community.livejournal.com/filk/367015.html

 

If I Had Some Super-Powers

If I Had Some Super-Powers

 

©2008 Ariel Cinii (0811.22: Philcon 2008)

To the tune of “If I Had A Million Dollars”-BareNaked Ladies

 

If I Had Some Super-Powers (If I Had Some Super-Powers)

I would rob me a bank. (I would rob me a bank.)

 

(And if…) I’d fly all around the world.

(And stash the money from the robbery.)

 

(And if…) I’d alter the past.

(“What robbery? You’ve got to be kidding!”)

 

(And if…) You’d be my love.

 

(If…) I wouldn’t have to work at the store.

(If…) I wouldn’t have quotas any more.

(If…) I could apply for federal funding.

 

(sp.) But I wouldn’t need it, ‘cause I’d robbed that bank.

…But I’d still have to justify my income for my rent-controlled apartment in the nice part of town. I may be super but I ain’t paying market-value rents.

 

(If…) I’d have my own pet cause.

(Like tooth decay, or the parking at Wal-Mart.)

 

(And if…) I’d win every poker game.

(Because I’d know what cards you’ve got.)

 

(And if…) Then I’d never be caught.

(I’d altered time before the chorus.)

 

(And if…) You’d be my love.

 

(If…) I wouldn’t have to walk to the store.

(If…) I could prevent almost any war.

(If…) My secret I.D. would be coolest.

 

(sp.) Like a spy. No, a C.E.O.

… And every day thousands of happy employees would feed their families from my efforts to rule the world!… Nicely, of course.

 

(If…) I would go and FREE TIBET!

(The Dalai Lama is my homey.)

 

(And if…) I’d have my own comic book.

(No, sorry, that’s a Graphic Novel.)

 

(And if…) I’d get laid whenever I want.

(No explanation even required.)

 

(And if…) You’d be my love!!!

 

If I Had Some Super-Powers (If I Had Some Super-Powers)

If I Had Some Super-Powers (If I Had Some Super-Powers)

If I Had Some Super-Powers…

 

I’d be great!

[bubba smith]

Re: Superhero Filksong: If I had some Superpowers

 

Lol

[Roth]

Re: Superhero Filksong: If I had some Superpowers

 

For some reason I was expecting a parody of "If I Had a Rocket Launcher".

 

In either case some more good old Canadian boys get parodied.

[shadowcat1313]

Re: Superhero Filksong: If I had some Superpowers

 

Tom Smith... the worlds fastest filker actually wrote a parody that mixes If I had a million dollars and if I had a rocket launcher.

 

its called "Bare Naked Cockburn"

http://www.tomsmithonline.com/lyrics/bnc.htm

 

another good one of toms is as he calls it "Billy Ray sings Edgar A"

Telly Taley Heart

http://www.tomsmithonline.com/lyrics/telly_taley_heart.htm

 

although my favorite canadian artist is Stan Rogers, a man who died way too young, and wow what a voice. my favorites of stans being Barretts Privateers and Northwest Passage

[Roth]

Re: Superhero Filksong: If I had some Superpowers

 

Thanks Shadowcat1313, that gave me a much needed laugh. Rep to you.

[shadowcat1313]

Re: Superhero Filksong: If I had some Superpowers

 

geez... talking about tom smith music, I forgot all about mentioning his all time classic Superhero Filksong

 

"Supermans Sex Life Boogie" based on the Larry Niven classic "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex" there are pictures of Tom performing it as a duet onstage with Larry Niven himself even.

http://www.tomsmithonline.com/lyrics/superman.htm

 

From Tom Smiths webpage:

"The first non-parody I wrote that I thought was good, this was inspired by Larry Niven's hilarious essay "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex", documenting possible methods of perpetuating the Kryptonian humanoid species without having Clark molest Supergirl. (Youngsters: There used to be a Supergirl who was Superman's cousin, not the amorphous blob who can shape-shift to a blonde babe. She was even worse than the current one, and being worse than a super-submissive who falls in love with Lex Luthor is quite an accomplishment.) The essay deliberately avoids the psychological issues, which this song runs at and body-slams. Mr. Niven, one of the very few truly all-time greats of science fiction, sang this song with me on stage (at PhilCon, Philadelphia 1994), which I think counts as a Life Highlight."