HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

[Narf the Mouse]

Purpose: An efficient two-page intro to the HERO System

Goal: To edit the final document, so that the final HERO System 2-Page Intro is both efficient, effective and eye-pleasing - and two pages; It's currently a bit over.

Document: HERO System 2-Page Intro

 

The purpose of this thread is to cut wastage and to improve the final look; in order to reduce or eliminate confusion. It is for the second draft and suggestions should not focus on adding anything that isn't strictly necessary.

 

Thanks for any and all help.

[torchwolf]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

"Effect rolls may be counted in two ways -

The first is to count a roll of 1-5 as +1, 6 as +2 and 1 as 0.

Thus, a roll of 3, 1, 5, 2 and 6 on 5d6 totals +5."

As noted on the previous thread, it should be "a roll of 2-5 as +1".

You might add "This is usually called "counting BODY", and is used, for example, to count Normal Damage." or something similar, so you can later say

"1/2 d6, in any roll system, is a d6 roll, divided in half and

rounded off. That is, 1-2 = 1, 3-4 = 2 and 5-6 = 3, as if you

had rolled 1d3 for that dice."

and "On 1/2 d6, a roll of 4-6 counts as 1 "BODY"."

"Martial Arts cost 3-5 Character Points"

should probably add "per Maneuver".

You might also want to mention that you also have some handy dandy tables to mostly avoid math (6E1 p362) - at least for common numbers.

Can't think of anything else right now.

[Bodkins Odds]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

One page one, in the Character Points, Experience, and Characteristics sections the font size randomly increases. If this was intentional then perhaps bolding the text would be more appropriate. That's all I have at the moment, but I'll keep working on it.

[Narf the Mouse]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

As noted on the previous thread, it should be "a roll of 2-5 as +1".

You might add "This is usually called "counting BODY", and is used, for example, to count Normal Damage." or something similar, so you can later say

Fixed in the document.

and "On 1/2 d6, a roll of 4-6 counts as 1 "BODY"."

Shouldn't that be 3-6? 3-4 being a result of 2, 2 being covered by 2-5.

should probably add "per Maneuver".

You might also want to mention that you also have some handy dandy tables to mostly avoid math (6E1 p362) - at least for common numbers.

Can't think of anything else right now.

Done.

One page one' date=' in the Character Points, Experience, and Characteristics sections the font size randomly increases. If this was intentional then perhaps bolding the text would be more appropriate. That's all I have at the moment, but I'll keep working on it.[/quote']

...Regularizing the font.

[Narf the Mouse]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

Update uploaded. Link: Here, for those too lazy to scroll up.

[torchwolf]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

Shouldn't that be 3-6? 3-4 being a result of 2' date=' 2 being covered by 2-5.[/quote']

The 1/2d6 does 1 BODY if the roll is a 4' date=' 5, or 6.[/quote']

Same as 4th and 5th Ed actually.

[torchwolf]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

Update uploaded. Link: Here' date=' for those too lazy to scroll up. [/quote']

Looking good. On listing the Characteristics costs: You might also consider deleting these in the interest of clarity and just say something like "What does Characteristics cost? It's all listed right on the character sheet, so you don't even have to look it up." Since the Character Sheet is a free download you can always hand them a sample sheet, too. It's pretty, after all.

[Narf the Mouse]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

While the 6th Edition official character sheet does have a place to record the cost of Characteristics, it does not provide their cost per point.

[Bodkins Odds]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

Probably to provide for those of us who don't think that DEX is worth twice as much as STR.

[torchwolf]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

While the 6th Edition official character sheet does have a place to record the cost of Characteristics' date=' it does not provide their cost per point.[/quote']

My mistake, I was certain that it did and didn't even look at it.

So, allow me to rephrase completely: How about listing the official costs of Characteristics all in one place, at the end? Saves space and makes for more smooth reading of the sections. IMO, that is.

[torchwolf]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

Probably to provide for those of us who don't think that DEX is worth twice as much as STR.

That may well be the reason.

[Neverway]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

Update uploaded. Link: Here' date=' for those too lazy to scroll up. [/quote']

 

A couple of the "issues" I have with your document look to be due to different style books but I'll toss them in anyway. I’m looking forward to seeing the final version of the document and stealing… err, being inspired by it.

 

 

1) You tend to capitalize the first letter of a parenthetical phrase (Like this), I was taught to treat it like it was part of the sentence it was in (like this).

 

2) The Math section is in a different typeface than the rest of the document.

 

3) The section on the Body characteristic has a misspelling in the second sentence. It should be "their" vice "thier".

 

4) In the movement section, the parenthetical phrase following Leaping has the word Upwards capitalized.

 

5) The Perks section is in a different typeface than the rest of the document and includes an additional blank line between the header and the body.

 

6) You don’t indent the second or following paragraphs in any section with more than one paragraph.

 

7) The Complications section ends in an ellipse rather than a period.

 

 

The nits, I pick them.

[Narf the Mouse]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

1) I generally go with whatever looks better in that instance.

 

2) Nope, just slightly larger. It's now 10-pt, not 12-pt.

 

3) "I before E, except after C". Sooner or later, maybe we should actually follow the rules of spelling for english.

 

4) Fixed.

 

5) Fixed.

 

6) In general, they are indented. However, I did miss a few. Fixed, but it's now 2 and 1/3 pages.

 

7) Intentionally. It's meant to imply that there are, of course, far more options than those.

 

 

Suggestions for shortening the length would be very welcome. Unfortunately, I'm having trouble uploading at the moment, but most of the text is the same.

[torchwolf]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

After "STRength": you might add "and lift capacity".

PREsense should perhaps be PREsence.

 

The second is an Effect Roll. In an Effect Roll, Xd6 is rolled - That is, an arbitrary number (3, 5, 8, whatever) of six-sided dice. Effect rolls may be counted in two ways - The first is to count a roll of 2-5 as +1, 6 as +2 and 1 as 0. Thus, a roll of 3, 1, 5, 2 and 6 on 5d6 totals +5. The second is to simply count the values actually rolled - Thus, using the second method, the result would be 17.

Typically, the Effect Roll is used to calculate the BODY (That is, health) of an effect - Damage done, or how tough a spiderweb Entangling a target is, or etc.. Using the first result is the way this is normally done; thus, it is known as the Normal (Body) Roll. The second is then a Total roll.

 

Good, but can it be a bit clearer? Alternatively you could write it something like this (Counting Total and BODY is the 6E text terminology):

"The second is an Effect Roll. In an Effect Roll, Xd6 is rolled - that is, an arbitrary number (3, 5, 8, whatever) of six-sided dice. In many Effect Rolls you just add the dice together, known as counting the Total. Often, you also want to count the BODY rolled: each die is worth 1 BODY, except for die rolls of 1s, which are 0 (zero) BODY and 6s, which are 2 BODY. You add this together to count the BODY. Thus, a roll of 3, 1, 5, 2 and 6 on 5d6 has a Total of 17, and 5 BODY (5 dice, -1 for the roll of 1, and +1 for the 6, adding up to 5 BODY).

Typically, the BODY of an Effect Roll can be BODY damage (possible wounds), or how tough a spiderweb Entangling a target is, etc., while the Total is often used for STUN damage (how much it hurts)."

That's actually a bit longer but you'd probably want reformulate that in your own words, and since I'm notoriously long-winded, it should end up shorter. But hey, just a suggestion, you're the author of this document. If I think of anything else I'll post it.

 

Otherwise, you can plunder this Idea for supplemental Hero System introduction for anything you can use - that's kinda what I intended it for.

 

I like this project of yours, and it can become really brief and useful.

[Neverway]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

1) I generally go with whatever looks better in that instance.

 

2) Nope, just slightly larger. It's now 10-pt, not 12-pt.

 

Must be a bad case of oldeyesitis on my part, I could have sworn it was a different font. Oh well.

 

3) "I before E, except after C". Sooner or later, maybe we should actually follow the rules of spelling for english.

 

Right after they explain why the past tense of 'is' is 'was' and not 'ised'.

 

4) Fixed.

 

5) Fixed.

 

6) In general, they are indented. However, I did miss a few. Fixed, but it's now 2 and 1/3 pages.

 

7) Intentionally. It's meant to imply that there are, of course, far more options than those.

 

 

Suggestions for shortening the length would be very welcome. Unfortunately, I'm having trouble uploading at the moment, but most of the text is the same.

 

I'll look it over again, but I'm thinking that the only way to shorten it is going to be to say less.

 

Edit: Having had another read through, I think you can get back down to two pages by eliminating the costs from CV and following entries ending at Martial Arts. It's either that, pull out the examples (I think the document is better with them in it), or reduce the font size to eight point (ugh).

[Narf the Mouse]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

Must be a bad case of oldeyesitis on my part, I could have sworn it was a different font. Oh well.

That's quite alright. Clearly, you weren't very much in error. :D

Right after they explain why the past tense of 'is' is 'was' and not 'ised'.

I have no idea why it ever ised spelled like that.

I'll look it over again, but I'm thinking that the only way to shorten it is going to be to say less.

 

Edit: Having had another read through, I think you can get back down to two pages by eliminating the costs from CV and following entries ending at Martial Arts. It's either that, pull out the examples (I think the document is better with them in it), or reduce the font size to eight point (ugh).

Yeah...I guess I could call it the "Hero System 2 and 1/3 Page Intro"...

At the very least, the name should be eye-catching.

[teh bunneh]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

Very nice. Mind if I have a go at formatting it?

 

This is quick-and-dirty. I probably missed something in there somewhere, so corrections are welcome.

 

 

(EDIT: Attachment removed. See my next post for the most current version).

[torchwolf]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

Two comments:

 

1) I maintain that Presence is not spelled Presense (unless it is an Enhanced Sense).

2) Awesome.

[Bodkins Odds]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

Two comments:

 

1) I maintain that Presence is not spelled Presense (unless it is an Enhanced Sense).

2) Awesome.

 

I would like to second both of those statements. Rep to Teh Bunneh!

[teh bunneh]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

Heh. OK, fixed (along with a couple other little things I spotted).

[Bodkins Odds]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

I think that you forgot to attach the file.

[teh bunneh]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

Added a little background image to make it purdy...

[Neverway]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

Heh. OK' date=' fixed (along with a couple other little things I spotted). [/quote']

 

...or you could cut back the margins, that would work too.

 

Added a little background image to make it purdy...

 

Isn't hexman a trademark requiring DoJ's permission to use? And I'm fairly certain the image you added is under copyright.

 

Excellent work though, if I had rep to give, I'd hit Narf and teh bunneh both. As it is, I'll merely be keeping a copy of the pdf.

[Narf the Mouse]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

My brain has been zombie'd all day; I'll look at it tomorrow. Thanks.

[Lucius]

Re: HERO System 2-Page Intro - Finalizing

 

I just took a look.

 

I love the concept, but I am not satisfied with the execution yet.

 

Some specifics:

 

Not only is PREsence mispelled (just a nitpick) but more seriously I don't think "your character's "WOW" factor" is telling the prospective player anything useful, and I KNOW that references to Dr. Destroyer and Foxbat are going to be totally meaningless to people who are not already familiar with Champions. I would put it something like "PREsence is a measure of how impressive your character is" and if you need more text, "High PRE characters may be inspiring leaders or terrifying opponents, and low PRE marks a character who is not taken seriously."

 

Martial Arts: I'd skip the reference to Damage Classes in a basic intro, perhaps make it explicit that it includes things like Fencing as well as Kung Fu (I'm not quite sure how to word it, but it should be clear that it's not always barehanded by default, you can have disciplines usable ONLY with a weapon) and finally, I would say "If you buy Martial Arts, you should usually have at least 10 points worth of manuevers" because saying "as a general rule, you should buy at least 10 Character Points worth." seems to imply that Martial Arts are mandatory for ALL characters.

 

I strongly advise against calling Powers "The 'Meat' of the Hero System." It is quite possible to build a character around Characteristics and Skills with no powers beyond the Movement abilities everyone gets free.

 

I honestly think this may be the weakest part of the document, but I like the paragraph that begins "To calculate." Possibly it would help to point out (again) that there are charts to help with the math, and most definitely it should be said that this calculation need only be done when the character is created, and does NOT come up again in play.

 

Lucius Alexander

 

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