Roter Baron

L. Marcus conducts his ritual sacrifices with a Swedish howitzer.
 
Fun for him and quite a spectacle, but it is really annoying for the neighbours because he insists on staging the rituals during the week at midnight when normal people want to sleep because they have to get up and work the next day.
 
And the Finnish government keeps complaining about the rain of body parts in Helsinki.
 
Why can't he drown his thralls like decent, neighbourly people do?

One of the biggest lies ever is that men built the Panama Canal. PAH ! It was Der Roter Baron on his own clad only in a loincloth and hewing the ground with club and pickaxe and shovel. The shovel still exists and is in a museum in Mexico.

Bazza is a Half-hydra. His mother was a Hydra, his father a card-holding member of the National Party and a Cyclops, an immigrant from Greece - his hydra-mother is Aborigine from the Northern Territory.
 
Thus Bazzas real and full name is Byron Windradyne Bazzadoupoulos.
 
The good thing about being a hydra-cyclops-hybrid is that while Bazza has only one eye in his head (and thus lacking depth vision) he can make up for it because he has nine heads!

L. Marcus conducts his ritual sacrifices with a Swedish howitzer.
 
Fun for him and quite a spectacle, but it is really annoying for the neighbours because he insists on staging the rituals during the week at midnight when normal people want to sleep because they have to get up and work the next day.
 
And the Finnish government keeps complaining about the rain of body parts in Helsinki.
 
Why can't he drown his thralls like decent, neighbourly people do?

Der Roter Baron was a regular fixture during the 70s for Germany's entry to the Eurovision song contest. Who can forget his stirring renditions of Five Year Plan Blues, Stalin is my love machine, Nixon is not a nice guy and Brezhnev wouldn't buy me Commintern seat ?

Last time BC crashed my couch! And I told him selveral times: NO JUMPING!
But did he listen? - Yes. And jumped and jumped and jumped anyway!
 
Now the thing looks like a heap of firewood.

RB is the perfectionists' perfectionist.
 
Serious. He could give German Engineers a lesson in precision.
 
Oh wait....

BC -- proof positive that Americans don't know the difference between Sweden and Switzerland.

Yes,  I got it!
 
Since I was in the German-speaking part of Switzerland that was how I had to do it properly. And I paid for the secret copies and got a receipt (tax-deductable)! Like it should be done. Orderly, with discipline, at office-hours - not this chaotic NSA-spying!
 
L. Marcus still has romantic memories of the anarchic Swedes when they roamed the European countryside, plundered and raided and were generally reavers who put terror in the hearts of foreigners.
 
No, not about the Vikings. I am talking about the Swedish football fans attending the World Cup in Germany 2006!
 
But BlueCloud2k2 beat me to complicate L. Marcus. That wasn't Swede at all!

Roter Baron, Hello Kitty by day, Hell Kitty by night.

100% what I thought - how embarrassing!
 
"Ain't you the chick married to the jailbird that showed up jail naked and boozed up ready for action that wasn't smart enough to get the hell outta Dodge when the police basically gave you a free ticket?"
"Yes, that's me ..."
"Welcome to Harry's House of F*****-Up Bitches! Consider yourself hired with a raise!"
 
Oh my.  She just ha sto go to the right place I guess.

L. Marcus was High Priest of the First Church of Sky-Clad Lads Mooning and Flipping the Bird.
 
This religion only lasted one drunken night.

L. Marcus co-stars in the up-comming movie "Thatcher - Iron Skirt Goes Medieval on Argentina" as ... The Sharkobus!
 
That's right:
Super Skirt flies all the way down to Argentina wileding her Unchanging Hairdo and Rule Britannia Hot Iron to save the people (well, mainly sheep) of the Falklands against the villain Evil Colonel Fuego and his evil lab monster, the Brutish Sharkobus - Half shark, half - you guessed it - Omnibus!
 
Can Iron Thatcher withstand the threefold threat of South American Cheesy Soldiering and the combined might of Sharp Shark Teeth and Public Transportation!
 
Can she prevail against spicy barbecued beef, snapping jaws and subsidized tickets, even including discounts for the young, the elderly and families?
 
Or must she rely on THE REAGAN and the League of Neo-Liberals to save her conservative butt?
 
COME AND WATCH IN A MOVIE-THEATER NEAR YOU! (Rated C - liberals, Democrats and members of Labour may only attend in company of a registered Republican or member of the Tories or UKIP)

He eats them alive - that's his taste.
 
BlueCloud2k2 once had a fairy puppy. He loved it dearly.
It then grow older, bigger and finally left him to discover the world outside.
Blue was heart broken but knew that was the way it is with fairy puppies growing into dragons.
 
And hey - did Little Smaug make it big Hollywood or not?

He eats them alive - that's his taste.
 
BlueCloud2k2 once had a fairy puppy. He loved it dearly.
It then grow older, bigger and finally left him to discover the world outside.
Blue was heart broken but knew that was the way it is with fairy puppies growing into dragons.
 
And hey - did Little Smaug make it big Hollywood or not?

Tasmania, like Oz, does simply not exist! DT made it up to keep people from finding out that he is a Morris Dancer!
 
The cunning plan ... F A I L E D .

Tasmania, like Oz, does simply not exist! DT made it up to keep people from finding out that he is a Morris Dancer!
 
The cunning plan ... F A I L E D .

BlueCloud2k2 sided with the war brides to fight Wehrmacht and Allied soldiers in their unwanted advances.
He was uncovered by The Lesbian Resistance as a Fifth Columnist when they uncovered his real sex - he wanted the chicks all for himself!
 
He was castrated.
Yes, these French-kissing Lesbians are a Breed (and Brides; and Broads) without any reluctance and mercy.
 
Thus the name of their organization: Freedomly French-Kissing Lesbian Broads for the Liberation of French Sisters (men, bugger off!) - FreFreLesBlifS.
The short name coincidences with the sound many men make right before and during castration.
 
Really, he should have known better than infiltration the FreFreLesBlifS. Even the Gestapo didn't have the balls to get agents into their ranks. Or lost them ...

I brought pie to work for the second shift to celebrate Pi Day (3-14).  In response one employee asked:
"So, you gonna bring us hookers on Hump Day too?!"

Roter Baron is descended from the Norse Gods. He Woden have it any other way.

Bazza sent me a strippergram for my birthday once - twelve girls, three male strippers, a pony and a transsexual! Can't you keep it shorter, man? Took me eight hours to get to the end of the message for "Happy Birthday, RB - save me some cake!"
 
And I am still not sure why there was a pony ...

BC had cardio once, but he got over it.

L. Marcus starred in the Horror Porno Slasher Flick "The Hard City Vampire Dick And the Hundred Demon Whores From Hell" as ... Skippy, the Mailman with a Heart of Gold.
 
Actually they wrote him in at the end of the movies out of pity. His only line is (right before the credits): "Here is a package from Satan."
 
It was supposed to be the hint at a sequel in which the mailman's heart was to be ripped out by the Vampire to be filled with gold and then reinplanted, turning Skippy into the Mail-Demon Gold Rod.
Sequel never happened because the movie went right to video. There it was a so-so rental shown at frat parties after 3 a.m. when everybody was just to blasted to care anymore what was running in the old-video machine.
 
And there weren't 100 whores in the movie either. Just 9 with different make-up and whigs. But even then and shadows counting there weren't more than 21. And there weren't from Hell, Ohio but from Heaven, Missouri (all cheerleaders at Heaven High - GO ANGELS!)
 
Hey, but he could keep the package prop! (was empty by the way)

Bazza is the official "Chairman, Ultimate Leader and Omnicient Light of Wisdom" of the All Moon Party of the Moon.
Inofficially he is also called "Moonie", "Da Moonface", "The Ultimate Mooning" and "His Mooncellence".

Well, I told you you can't carry it away, Big Guy ...
 
Death Tribble's idea of a good nome de guerre as a hijacker is Jack R. Low. Told you nobody would fall for that!
 
And the organization's name "Deadly Emerging Association of Terror-spawnig Hijackers / Terrorist Reunion International Blues Brotherhood of Leftist Eloi" was also a dead giveaway!   
 
Yeah, but that is just "Hun Talk", let the "Hun run his mouth", cuz what does the "Hun know about terrorism" ...
 
Hey, look who's in Gitmo! Ain't me.