Character for Critique

[Edsel]

The character below is one I have made for the Echoes Of Glory campaign. I am just posting it here to see if anybody has any ideas or suggestions on how I could improve him. This is the first Bard I have designed for a Fantasy Hero campaign.

Combat Information Page Character Name: Torean Norhill Alternate Identities: The Wild Bard Player Name: Eddie Sells CHARACTERISTICS CHARACTER IMAGE Val Char Base Points Total Roll Notes 15 STR 10 5 15 12- HTH Damage 3d6 END [3] 20 DEX 10 30 20 13- OCV 7 DCV 7 13 CON 10 6 13 12- 11 BODY 10 2 11 11- 13 INT 10 3 13 12- PER Roll 12- 11 EGO 10 2 11 11- ECV: 4 18 PRE 10 8 18 13- PRE Attack: 3 1/2d6 14 COM 10 2 14 12-                             5 PD 3 2 5/11   5/11 PD (0/6 rPD) 5 ED 3 2 5/11   5/11 ED (0/6 rED) 4 SPD 3.0 10 4   Phases: 3, 6, 9, 12 6 REC 6 0 6   26 END 26 0 26   26 STUN 26 0 26     7" Running 6 2 7"     2" Swimming 2 0 2"     3"/1 1/2"" Leaping 3 0 3" 74 Total Characteristics Points EXPERIENCE POINTS Total earned: 0 Spent: 0 Unspent: 0 Base Points: 100 Disad Points: 52 Total Points: 152 MOVEMENT Type Total Run (6) 7" [14" NC] Swim (2) 2" [4" NC] H. Leap (3") 3" V. Leap (2") 1 1/2" APPEARANCE Hair Color:  Dark Brown Eye Color:  Greenish-Brown Height:  1.83 m Weight:  80.00 kg Description: Torean is a tall and slim man. His eyes are almost two-toned the outer iris is green but transitions to brown near the pupils. He is clean shaven and has thick wavy dark brown hair which he keeps trimed to a medium length. When on the road or traveling he wears earthtones (greens & brown), onften with brighter colored piping and trim. When he is to preform he dresses in very bright multi-colored clothes (what did you expect, he's a Bard). At the start of the campaign Torean is 22 years old. He was born in the year 1053 (or so his mother told him). Torean takes his lute with him nearly everywhere he goes. If he must leave it behind he'll spare no expense to make sure it is kept safe for his return.

MARTIAL ARTS MANEUVERS Cost  Maneuver Martial Arts: Personal Style 5 1) Tumble: 1/2 Phase, -- OCV, +4 DCV, Dodge All Attacks, Abort; FMove 4 2) Serpent's Strike: 1/2 Phase, +0 OCV, +2 DCV, Weapon +2 DC Strike 5 3) Dagger Toss: 1/2 Phase, +1 OCV, -1 DCV, Range +4, Strike 14 Total Martial Arts Cost DEFENSES Type Amount Notes Physical Defense 5/11 Current BODY: Res. Phys. Defense 0/6   Energy Defense 5/11 Current END: Res. Energy Defense 0/6   Mental Defense 0 Current STUN: Power Defense 0   COMBAT INFORMATION OCV: 7 DCV: 7   Combat Skill Levels: +1 Overall COMBAT MANEUVERS Maneuver Phase OCV DCV Effect Block 1/2 +0 +0 Block, abort Brace 0 +2 1/2 +2 vs. Range Mod. Disarm 1/2 -2 +0 Can disarm Dodge 1/2 -- +3 Abort, vs. all attacks Grab 1/2 -1 -2 Grab two limbs Grab By 1/2 -3 -4 Move and Grab Haymaker 1/2* +0 -5 +4 DC attack damage Move By 1/2 -2 -2 STR/2 + v/5 Move Through 1/2 -v/5 -3 STR + v/3 Set 1 +1 +0 Ranged Attacks only Strike 1/2 +0 +0 STR or weapon Tumble 1/2 -- +4 Dodge All Attacks, Abort; FMove Serpent's Strike 1/2 +0 +2 5d6 Strike Dagger Toss 1/2 +1 -1 Strike COMBAT MODIFIERS Range 0-4 5-8 9-16 17-32 33-64 65-128 RMOD 0 -2 -4 -6 -8 -10

EQUIPMENT Equipment END Soft Leathers: Armor (1 PD/1 ED) (3 Active Points); Normal Mass (-1), Sectional Defense (Covers Areas 7-16; -3/4), OIF (-1/2), Real Armor (-1/4) Horsemans Boots: Armor (3 PD/3 ED), No Mass (+0) (9 Active Points); Boots (Protects Locations 17-18; -2), OIF (-1/2), Real Armor (-1/4) Leather Gloves: Armor (2 PD/2 ED), No Mass (+0) (6 Active Points); Gloves (Protects Location 6; -2), OIF (-1/2), Real Armor (-1/4) Longsword: Killing Attack - Hand-To-Hand 1d6+1, Reduced Endurance (0 END; +1/2) (30 Active Points); OAF (-1), STR Minimum 10 1-5 (-1/4), Real Weapon (-1/4) Dagger: Killing Attack - Hand-To-Hand 1d6-1, Range Based On STR (+1/4), Reduced Endurance (0 END; +1/2) (17 Active Points); OAF (-1), Real Weapon (-1/4), STR Minimum 5 1-5 (-1/4) Notes: Has 4 of these stashed away. Lute: +2 with PS: Play Lute Notes: Torean's Lute is an exquisitely crafted, yet amazingly rugged, instrument that was given to him by his mother. She said, "Your father would have wanted his son to have this." It is very old and bears no makers mark. The wood from which it was built is unlike any to be found in the Middle Kingdoms. Its origin, like Torean's own, is unknown. Torean considers it his most prized possession. PERKS Cost  Name 2 Reputation: Skilled Preformer (A large group) 11-, +1/+1d6 2 Total Perks Cost TALENTS Cost  Name 3 Perfect Pitch 3 Total Talents Cost

SKILLS
Cost	Name
3	Acrobatics 13-
3	Breakfall 13-
3	Conversation 13-
1	High Society 8-
1	Language: Native (idiomatic; literate) (5 Active Points)
3	Oratory 13-
3	Persuasion 13-
3	PS: Singing 13-
3	PS: Play Lute 13-
3	Seduction 13-
3	Sleight Of Hand 13-
3	Streetwise 13-
3	Trading 13-
3	AK: Country: Middea 12-
3	Scholar
1	1) KS: Guilders (2 Active Points) 11-
1	2) KS: Heraldry (2 Active Points) 11-
1	3) KS: History (2 Active Points) 11-
1	4) KS: Songs (2 Active Points) 11-
1	5) KS: The Great Fellowship (2 Active Points) 11-
10	+1 Overall
3	WF: Common Melee Weapons, Thrown Knives, Axes, and Darts
59	Total Skills Cost

DISADVANTAGES
Cost	Disadvantage
2	Character Background Bonus Notes: Bonus granted by the GM for a full character background.
5	Distinctive Features: Bard (Easily Concealed; Noticed and Recognizable; Detectable By Commonly-Used Senses) Notes: Carries a lute, dresses in flashy clothing, likes to sing and tell stories, etc.
5	Enraged: If His Preformance As A Bard Is Criticized (Uncommon), go 8-, recover 14-
15	Psychological Limitation: Curiosity (Common, Strong)
10	Psychological Limitation: Compulsive Carouser (Common, Moderate)
5	Reputation: Womanizer, 8-
10	Unknown Past Notes: This is a GMs Fiat. The character does not know his true lineage or why his mother fled from her original homeland.
52	Total Disadvantages Cost

Height: 1.83 m	Hair: Dark Brown
Weight: 80.00 kg	Eyes: Greenish-Brown
Appearance: Torean is a tall and slim man. His eyes are almost two-toned the outer iris is green but transitions to brown near the pupils. He is clean shaven and has thick wavy dark brown hair which he keeps trimed to a medium length. When on the road or traveling he wears earthtones (greens & brown), onften with brighter colored piping and trim. When he is to preform he dresses in very bright multi-colored clothes (what did you expect, he's a Bard). At the start of the campaign Torean is 22 years old. He was born in the year 1053 (or so his mother told him). Torean takes his lute with him nearly everywhere he goes. If he must leave it behind he'll spare no expense to make sure it is kept safe for his return.
Personality: Torean is driven by his insatiable quest for knowledge. He wants to know everything. He wants to do and see everything. Perhaps this desire for knowledge is his attempt to make up for his own past. A past he lacks knowledge of. His zest for life is evident to anyone who gets to know him. It almost seems to border on the rash at times (some call him the Wild Bard because of it). He is always eager to travel to a new place and drink deeply from the well he has not yet visited. There are places to go and women to do.
Quote:All the world's a stage, and we are but actors upon it. I don't want a mere cameo. Tell me everything, don't leave out a single detail.
Background: My life, before my mother brought me to Seacrest, is an enigma. Mother never told me from whence we had come. I asked her many times when I was a lad but always she would bid me to hold my tongue and not talk about the past. It was best forgotten she insisted. I grew up in Seacrest with my mother Alyaia [Awl-ya] and my stepfather Roth Norhill. Mom insisted that I take the name of Norhill and would never confide in me what my birth name had been. I am sure that Roth wondered the same things I did about my past but his love for my mother was of more worth to him than that forbidden knowledge. For fourteen years their love endured until a fever took my mother in the winter of 1069. I was sixteen at the time, a young man, when my only tie to the past was lost. My childhood was happy. Father was an innkeeper of fine repute and, to this day, runs the Waterfront Inn in Seacrest. When I was twelve my mother gave me my lute. It is a wondrous instrument and I was thrilled to receive it. I have no clue where she came by such an artifact. I have never seen its like. I practiced day and night and people began to tell me I had some small gift with music and song. Within months I was entertaining the evening crowd at my father's establishment. As she lay on her deathbed that fell winter, mother told me that father (my true father) would have wanted me to have the lute. She would say no more. Roth knew not whither it had come and until she gifted it to me he had not know where it had been secreted. Mayhaps others in Seacrest were in league with my mother's mysteries. Though Roth asked me to stay, I was bitten with the wanderlust and that spring I set out on my own. Perhaps I could find my lost past. Roth and my stepbrothers and sisters were enough to run the Waterfront and there was so much of the world to see. I have traveled extensively through Middea. I have entertained the multitudes and scene more things than most men see in a lifetime. This has not dulled my curiosity of the world; it has merely whetted my appetite for life. For the past eight winters I have traveled the region. I have performed for the nobles and even royalty of Middea. I have been paid well by rich guilders to play my wares for their guests. I have warmed the hearth of many a small village inn and brought mirth to the mirthless. I do not travel alone for such would be a fool’s errand in this new wilderness of Middea. I travel with a small band of friends, for what joy is in discovery without comrades to share it with.
Powers/Tactics: Torean perfers to talk, rather than fight. If given a chance, his charm and charisma can defuse many tense situations. In combat Torean will try to use a few well-placed dagger tosses to keep his enemy out of reach. However, he is also skilled with a sword and can hold his own against any normal opponent.
Campaign Use: In a group Torean is the speaker. He can negoiate with just about anybody. He is a well of knowledge and seems to know a little something about almost anything. His reputation and talent are such that he can usually find a place for himself, and his companions, at just about any Inn. In the past he has literally sang for his supper, and lodging, and passage on ships, and new clothing, etc.

Character created with Hero Designer (version 2.26 - interim build)

[Edsel]

If anyone cares for the Hero Designer file that goes with the character. Here it is.

 

Edit: My own comments. I have designed lots of characters over the years, this is just the first Bard. The character's defenses suck! He wears only light armor and is sorely lacking in resistant defenses. I believe that my GM will allow me to buy some Combat Luck with EPs after the campaign gets started. If not I'll have to trade in a skill to buy some. I'd have really loved to been able to buy some regular Luck as well. Its the hallmark of Hero though, you never have enough points to do everything you want.

 

The speed is a bit high at 4 but the group we play with will almost certainly all buy 4 speeds (even the burly fighter types). So its either buy a 4 SPD or be left behind in the crowd.

[Ndreare]

Well I have nothing to say that could be considered constructive feed back.

 

 

But I must say that I do like the character. I think it is funny how much players overlook skills and you seem to have gone all the way on skills with 59 points. (Most players I see are trying to justify why the Rougue only needs five skills and the rest should be on stats.

[Galadorn]

I will have to say that it's hard to critque this character, without knowing the campaign and setting he is operating in.

 

Generally, I would say he needs some magic points. Some very simply things like images, burning hands or ignite fire, presence-enhancing spell, comeliness-enhancing spell, etc. Should be very helpful.

 

But, again, this depends on the campaign, setting and character design guidelines. You character should do extremely well in a Medieval Historical Campaign.

 

But, for a campaign packed with magic: I would call the character experimental. Play him a few times in such a setting, and see how things go, would be my suggestion.