Write Your Own Obituary

[Pariah]

The good news is that you've finally found a way to defeat your arch-nemesis and safeguard the people of your fair city from his dastardly evil once and for all. Once you're done with him, the fiend won't have to desire, never mind the ability, to cause trouble for anyone ever again. It's a brilliant plan, and it's guaranteed to work.

 

The bad news is that for this plan to work, you're going to have to die.

 

Not for real, of course, and certainly not permanently. You only have to appear dead in order to spring the final piece of the trap. But everyone will have to think you're dead for it to work. You'll have to publicize your demise. And that means there's going to have to be a funeral.

 

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Write your character's obituary or eulogy. Write what your character would want someone to say on his or her behalf. Make it flowery, make it succinct, make it somber, make it sappy. Whatever. Be creative. Go nuts.

 

But most of all, make it memorable.

[Blue Jogger]

Re: Write Your Own Obituary

 

It's obvious, so it should go first...

 

"...and in summary, Be a Hero!"

[Spidey88]

Re: Write Your Own Obituary

 

Hmm...

 

Well, with Phidippus' obit, I'll go for what he'd want someone to say (he's a little too humble to write something like this himself if he knew it would see print), rather than what he necessarily thinks would be said if he died. Also, this obit would obviously make no mention of his secret I.D.!

 

 

Today we mourn the loss of one of the city's, indeed, the world's most stalwart defenders - Phidippus. In the brief time that we knew him, he proved to us that true heroism trancends the darkest past, and that sincere redemption is not just a naieve dream.

 

From humble origins he came: an orphan, taken in by vipers, and given great power with the intention that he use it for destruction and evil. Those vipers, as did many who sought to commit hateful acts against those around them, underestimated his fortitude, courage, and unquenchable spirit of decency; and against all odds, Phidippus cast off the shackles of treachery and deceit, and embraced his true destiny - using his lightning-quick wits and unparalled athletic prowess as our cherished defender, role model, and friend.

 

Though he faced incredible challenges on a daily basis, not for a single moment did his dedication to his noble ideals falter; though others might have used such astounding abilities for selfish purposes, he pledged them to our defense and well-being; and even though he stared down modern-day demons whose darkness threatened to envelop our very souls, he maintained the lighthearted spirit and good nature that touched everyone who knew him, however short-lived their accquaintance. He has left an enduring legacy, both for those who knew him and those generations yet to come.

 

We will all miss Phidippus. Though he is gone, he will live on eternally, providing we remember him, and follow the example he set for us. In that sense, at least, his immortality is assured.

 

Phidippus leaves behind no next of kin, but all those kind and decent in the world, especially the children, called him "friend".

 

All those wishing to pay their respects may do so at Memorial Park, Tuesday at 9:00 AM, where the Mayor will unveil the statue commisioned in his memory. Please bring a donation of non-perishable items to be given to the food bank, gently used clothing of any kind for the homeless shelter and orphanage, or a monetary donation for the above if you are able.

 

("sniff....")