MilkmanDan

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: What are the laws of the Jungle ?

The first rule of the Jungle is you don't talk about the Jungle.

Re: It has to be genius...I don't get it.

NT: If at first you don't succeed ...

Get elected to a second term.

NT: What is the next publicity stunt lined up for balloon boy's father?

Re: It has to be genius...I don't get it.

NT: Worst thing to hear as you're jumping out of the plane on your first skydiving lesson.

"Pull!"

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Regional foodstuffs that were obviously invented by a madman.

Lutefisk. Dear lord, lutefisk.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

New Topic: If Champions players ruled the world....

"Do you have any idea how many points an intercontinental missile with a thermonuclear warhead costs? I'm sorry, but until you get more experience, you're going to have to scrap your nuclear arsenal."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Subtle signs that the organizers of the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver have lost their minds.

They decide to hold the WINTER Olympics in a town where the average February high temperature is 46 degrees Farenheit.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

New Topic: Signs that Hell is going to be slightly less unpleasant than you'd imagined it.

You realize that pretty much every single interesting person you'd ever want to spend time with throughout history is there as well.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Not-so-great ideas for deals with the Devil.

"I'll sell you my soul if you promise to send me to hell."

"Uh . . ."

"I just hate uncertainty, OK?"

NT: Ways to improve your little section of Hell.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

New Topic: Comic book retcons that need to be un-retconned' date=' and how to accomplish it.[/quote']

 

"Hey, Tiger, looks like you just hit the jackpot! What? I was taking a shower, it must have all been a dream."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

Before I make my get-away' date=' NT: Products that Superheroes could honestly endorse. Difficulty: Must be a real product.[/quote']

 

"Hi, I'm Superman, and let me tell you about Hanes Women's Panties!"

 

NT: Other shocking revelations from Superman.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Situations in which a tactical nuclear cannon makes sense.

"Hey, look, Carrot Top is performing tonight!"

NT: Fall is here and leaves are turning color. How does Hulk go out and enjoy the splendor of nature?

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

"NT: Sports that would be improved by the introduction of Maxwell Smart.

Hockey. When he answers his shoe phone and the skate blade cuts his ear off, the crowd will go wild.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Worst superhero pet.

"Listen, Flash, I know you want a pet and all, but I think Zippy the Wonder Sloth is maybe not the best mascot for you."

NT: Michael Crabtree has apparently finally signed with the 49ers. How should the veterans haze him?

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Lame excuses I can use to keep from letting my daughter borrow the car once she has her driver's license.

"Sure, sweetie, you can borrow the car, but you should probably know that I've decided to start living in the back seat with my new, extensive firearms collection in expectations of you starting dating."

NT: Ways you could convince BoloOfEarth's daughter to let him tag along on the first date.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: New genres for MMOs.

High fantasy. You know, magic, knights, orcs and trolls, huge flying mounts, stuff like that. Someone should really try something like that.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

New Topic: Creative ways to celebrate the arrival of colder weather.

The annual Nothing But A Thong foot race down main street.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Community college classes taught by various Posters on these Forums. Difficulty: may not be based on what they do for a living.

"The Burden of Awesome: How to Cope, by MilkmanDan"

NT: Ways I am clearly not all that awesome.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

New Topic: Classes taught by superheroes at the local community college (e.g.' date=' a class in optics taught by Cyclops).[/quote']

 

"Welcome to Fascist Asshattery 101. I'm your instructor, Tony Stark."

Re: The cranky thread

Mother @#$!!! Microsoft and your @#$!!!! crappy piece of @#$!!! hardware giving me the @#$!!!! E74 hardware failure error on my 360 on the night the new @#$!!!! Left 4 Dead campaign is released.

Repair is free, but I have to mail it in to get it fixed all because @#$!@!! Microsoft was too lazy to spend an extra couple pennies to actually firmly affix its hardware to the motherboard on the thing. @#$!!!!

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Superhero gift gaffe's. e.g.' date=' giving short-handled barbeque implements to J'onn J'onzz.[/quote']

 

Giving a "Happy Anniversary" card to Spider-Man.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Other lethal edible projectile weapons.

"TAKE MY TRIX, WILL YOU! I'M THE STINKING TRIX RABBIT, YOU LITTLE BASTARDS! ALL I WANTED FOR THIRTY YEARS WAS A BOWL OF THAT DAMN CEREAL, BUT NO, YOU HAD TO TAKE IT FROM ME! NOW YOU CAN SUCK ON DEATH FROM MY AUTOFIRE TRIX CANNON! ENJOY YOUR SUGARY GOODNESS WHEN IT HITS YOUR THROAT AT FIVE THOUSAND ROUNDS A MINUTE!!!!"

NT: Other was cereal mascots might freak out.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: More ways that pizza can be a dangerous weapon.

Checking the obesity statistics in this country, it looks like it already is.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Things you now need a security clearance for

Your first job out of grad school 15 years ago, where you made $5.75/hour as a temp answering phones and telling people how much financial aid they were eligible for. No, seriously.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: The poster Trebuchet suddenly finds out about the topic above where people would use him. In panic he does what ?

Note: The topic in question was NT: Well, now that you have that battering ram / catapult / seige tower / trebuchet, how are you going to use it?

Flings himself at some conveniently-located battlements, just to save time.

Re: The "Nice Happy" Thread

I AM NOT A CRIPPLE!

Just got back from the orthopedic surgeon's office who did my reconstructive ankle surgery 2 1/2 years ago. He confirmed there is no ligament damage, so I don't need surgery. I just have to wear an ankle brace and do some physical therapy, and I should be fine. I don't have to spend the next two years learning how to walk again.