MilkmanDan

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Celebrities that should never run for office

Brett Favre.

NT: Subtle signs that your congresswoman is really Batgirl in her Secret ID.

The wheelchair.

NT: Ways you would perk up Barbara Gordon on the anniversary of the Joker paralyzing her.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Inappropriate replacements if Sotomayor is not confirmed.

Anyone the Republicans would actually nominate.

NT: Why is one of my guitars' fretboards so dirty?

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Subtle signs that the exterminator you just hired to purge your home of vermin is out of his mind.

"No, no, no poison. Just my flute, I'll lead them away. Oh, and I just can't play quite so musically if I'm wearing pants, so I'm not putting any on."

NT: Shocking revelations from Sonia Sotomayor's confirmation hearings.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Ways for your dog to outsmart your cat.

Hire someone smarter than a dog to do it.

NT: Ways I should take care of the mouse I'm pretty sure I heard in the wall last night.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Uses for a purple cow.

Official mascot for Minnesota Vikings fans from Wisconsin.

NT: How should the city of Green Bay react when Brett Favre signs with the Vikings?

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Unlikely animal species to be uplifted into secret agents.

Mutant seven-toed tree sloths. Tragically, the extra toes are their only mutation.

NT: Other worthless animal mutations.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: All surfers must die ! (This means the ocean riders not Internet browsing)

Creative ways to bring about their downfall.

Tiny motorboat-driving suicide bomber wombats.

NT: Ways to rid the world of an army of evil wombats.

Re: Yeah, I went there!

NT: Way-wrong names for businesses.

"Velcome to Von Poopeneaten's German Restaurant!"

NT: Ways you would improve the running of the bulls in Pamplona.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Things that are actually improved by the presence of Pauly Shore.

The earth about six feet below a gravestone.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: (At the risk of giving Hollyweird any new ideas...) The next former TV show they're gonna make into a movie' date=' and the unique way they're "re-imagining" it.[/quote']

 

Michael Bay's "Mr. Belvedere", with Megan Fox in the starring role.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

New Topic: So Al Franken is now a US Senator. List the next unlikely person to assume high political office. (Difficulty: NOT Sarah Palin.)

"Ladies and gentlemen, our next president, zombie Michael Jackson!"

Re: Super hero one liners

For Gravitar:

"Oh, come on, baby, if you're going to crush me, at least use your thighs."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Lance Armstrong' date=' Michael Jordan and Brett Favre walk into a bar, and ...[/quote']

 

. . . punch the priest, the rabbi, and the nun in the face before the joke can get out of hand.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

Nt outrageous Jackson tributes from groups you wouldn't expect

"Today, in a surprise move, the Iranian Revolutionary Council announced that, as his last act, Michael Jackson affirmed Ahmadinejad's victory as being correct and proper. In recognition of this, the Iranian National Anthem has been changed to 'Billie Jean'."

NT: Other wacky things the Iranians will try to do to convince the world the election was legitimate.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Baseball terms that can also refer to sex.

(no mention of First Base, etc.)

"Hey, baby, wanna kick some dirt on the umpire?"

NT: Ways the city of Los Angeles should pay for the Michael Jackson memorial.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT:

Things better than a good nights sleep.

Several hours of fornication with 1000 nude Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders.

NT: Thoroughly following the behavior and family-friendly rules of this board, think up a good euphemism for several hours of fornication with 1000 nude Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

New Topic: Real-world problems for which a lightsaber would be a surprisingly effective solution.

"Hi, I'm the force spirit of Billy Mays, and if you think Ginsu knives could cut through an aluminum can, have I got a new kitchen tool for you!"

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: What Sarah Palin will hunt when moose finally go extinct.

"Shhhhh! I'm hunting wabbits! Fat, liberal, annoying wabbits named Michael Moore! Shhhhhh!"

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: What to do with 1' date='000 nude male Dallas Cowboy fans. (remember the posting rules on these boards!)[/quote']

 

Throw them into a cage with 1000 nude Redskins fans and re-enact a very disturbing version of Thunderdome.

Re: Mercenary Supervillains

It makes sense for anyone (A) not smart enough to be able to make detailed enough plans to outwit the authorities and ( smart enough to realize "A". Ripping ATMs off the wall would be small change. The opportunity to make a huge payday for one day's work would be more efficient.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Ways to stop the Williams sisters winning Wimbledon

Build a prairie dog habitat under center court; hope Venus steps into hole and breaks leg.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: More things that should never be swapped with Folger's Crystals.

Alternate universe Evil Folger's Crystals.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: What the rest of the world does on July 4th. Difficulty Nothing and declaring war on America are not available.

We can only assume all of you sit around and just wish you were Americans, like every other day.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Other things you could replace NFL referees with.

Whichever NGDer makes the 15,000th "NGD Scenes from a Hat" post. I hear he's utterly awesome.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Things to do with the herd of zebras you just saw in the middle of the road.

Accelerate and swerve, ensuring you get as many points as possible.