MilkmanDan

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: What could Sarah Plain and Brett Favre do together?

Make sweet, sweet love. Assumably in front of several hundred cameras.

NT: It's been incredibly hot up in the Pacific Northwest. Who's to blame?

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: If Shatner had gotten the part of your favorite sci-fi character ...

"Luke . . . ksssshhhh . . . youdon'tunderstandthepower . . . ksssshhhh . . . of the dark . . . ksssshhhh . . . side . . ."

NT: Brett Favre isn't coming to Minnesota! Give a good tinfoil hat-worthy explanation why.

Re: Teen Hero Names

the unnamed teens are an alien female shape-shifter with a molly ringwald obsession' date=' [/quote']

 

"omg ph33r me, 4 i m siksxtyene kandl3ssss!"

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: other uses for cheap rubber masks. Difficulty; no wearing them--not by you' date=' your dog, or any other critter.[/quote']

 

Chop them up, mix them with Cream of Mushroom soup, call it "Meat Surprise", and feed it to 10th graders.

 

NT: There's a food fight in the high school cafeteria! How do you stop it?

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: What to do instead when' date=' due to an injury, you can't attend the pool party:[/quote']

 

Shave your flock of exotic weasels.

 

NT: Why is my flock of weasels so unique?

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Things you really shouldn't do at a major league baseball game. (Difficulty: no sex)

Throw the corpse of Richard Nixon on the field during the seventh inning stretch.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

nT:

Codes for "Let's get in on!"

"It's time to interview little Richard Milhouse Nixon, if you know what I mean!"

NT: Fun things to do with the corpse of Richard Nixon.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Subtle signs that this thirty-hour-straight car trip to GenCon wasn't such a good idea after all.

"Oh, you're here for GenCon? That doesn't start until NEXT week."

NT: I spent last weekend entertaining one of my wife's oldest friends when she visited. This weekend, her brother and his family are visiting. Next weekend, her dad is visiting. How should I respond to this?

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams is being remade in the wake of Health and Safety concerns and Political Correctness but also has to be made relevant to the 21st Century. What happens ? (Storylines or cast or anything else' date=' no prohibitions).[/quote']

 

Grizzly Adams is a truck driver, and the bear is now a chimp. Together, they drive across the country fighting crime and helping people out.

 

The truck has an Obama sticker, so now it's relevant. So there.

 

NT: Unique ways chimps can help you fight crime. Difficulty--no poop or banana jokes.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Stupidest act to appear on America's Got Talent

"Hi, I'm Paris Hilton, and--"

"Next!"

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Other things LeBron James didn't want shown besides the tape where he was dunked on.

That night with the two midgets, the goat, the tub of lard, and the marching band.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Unexpected uses for SPAM. (The pseudo-meat' date=' not the mail) Difficulty: Does not involve eating it.[/quote']

 

Making a museum about it in an attempt to draw tourists to your town.

 

NT: Thrilling and potentially dangerous ways to try to draw tourists to your town.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: What else to make padded bras outta. Limit: must be crazy or even impossible; nothin' sensible' date=' now. [/quote']

 

My hands.

 

NT: What was the REAL cause of the solar eclipse in Asia yesterday?

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Michael Vick's prison memoirs

"Day 1: What have I done? I can't believe I got thrown in prison.

Day 7: Movie tonight. 101 Dalmatians. That Cruella de Ville has style.

Day 22: Really craving Korean food."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Subtle signs that you really should be wearing some clothing right now.

"Sir, your audience with the pope begins in five minutes. Please put some pants on."

NT: Creative ways to annoy the pope.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

New Topic: Inappropriate color combinations for superhero (or supervillain) uniforms.

Orange, purple, and green. For anyone, really, has no connection to it being a uniform.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

New Topic: Signs that your favorite professional musician is out of his or her mind.

"How many kids do I have to adopt to top Angelina and Madonna? That many? Well . . . check my bank account. Can't I just buy Botswana or something?"

NT: What is Michael Vick doing today now that he's a free man?

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

"Sir, you have a blood alcohol level of 1.5 percent. That's nowhere NEAR high enough."

 

(I don't know what blood alcohol level would be 'blitzed out of one's head', just grabbed a number at random.)

0.08% is considered drunk. 1.5%? Yeesh.

NT: Unusual things to sell via telemarketing.

"Sir, we're selling correspondence college courses. If you don't buy them, there's a good chance you'll wind up as a telemarketer at some point. Now, would you like two dozen classes, or three?"

NT: Creative ways to get telemarketers to stop calling you.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Subtle signs that the man administering the drug testing for NASCAR has lost his mind.

"You want me to do WHAT in a cup?"

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Ways to improve President Obama's first pitch ability

Invade Iran under questionable pretenses.

NT: Surprises at GenCon this year.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Questions Steve Long is ABSOLUTELY tired of answering in connection to 6E upcoming release.

"Does it ever bother you that you know 6E won't compare to the utter greatness of FATAL and HYBRID?"

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: A topic that NGD-ers can't turn into something sexual. Difficulty: NGD-ers includes Mightybec and teh Bunneh' date=' too.[/quote']

 

The assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Anything that causes WW1 just can't be sexy. Unless he was wearing a little lacy blue thing and . . . never mind.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Subtle signs that the kid you hired to cut your grass in out of his mind.

He keeps rolling up your lawn in papers and trying to smoke it.

NT: Things you shouldn't try to smoke.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: World's Worst vacation spot

"Can't we go to Baghdad or Tehran or Kabul instead!"

"Young lady, no more complaining. We're going to Cleveland, and that's that."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

New Topic: Shocking scenes from the Happy Potter and the Half-Blood Prince movie that weren't in the book.

Harry showing Ginny how well he can use his "wand".

NT: Ways to make soccer more exciting for American audiences.