Michael Hopcroft

Q: Get me out of here, Doctor Strange! The Redhats are in charge! A: I came. I saw. I turned around and left.

"Y'see, I saw you when you first got here, remember? You were all "hello" and I was all [deep gasp], remember? Y'see I've never saw you before and if I've never saw you before that means you're new, 'cause I know everypony, and I mean everypony in Ponyville! And if you're new, that meant you haven't met anyone yet, and if you haven't met anyone yet, you must not have any friends, and if you don't have any friends then you must be lonely, and that made me so sad, then I had an idea, and that's why I went [deep gasp]! I must throw a great big ginormous super-duper spectacular welcome party and invite everyone in Ponyville! See? And now you have lots and lots of friends!"

The Texans probably confused Non-Diosclosure Agreements with Releases of Information (where a medicaL PROVIDER WILL NOT RELEASE YOUR RECORDS TO SOQmeone without your permission). They are direct opposites. And I'm not sure what they compelled the massage therapists to sign, but my understanding that in the case of a breach of professional decorum, a perovider would be encouraged to report such conduct ROI or no. A therapeutic massage is a medical procedure, which makes a masseuse a medical professional. Would anyone demand sex of their dentist or acupuncturist? Didn't think so.

Today, we recognize putting any player on the court that long is madness, especially at the pace of the modern NBA. Things move fast out there.

Things have obviously changed for the better. We're not going to see another hundred-point game: early in his career, Wilt had this almost-impossible endurance and played more than 42 minutes a game. He was also supremely gifted at playing the physical center position without committing many fouls. Either is unheard of today in the age of time management for the best players -- at the pace of today's game Wilt would have run himself into the ground by mid-season. Later in his career he had adapted his game, making himself into an elite defender. As he aged and put on muscle mass, that made him still valuable even as his offensive skills waned. Today players, especially centers and power forwards, don't get on the court unless they show effort on the defensive side of the court. It is very hard to play offense against NBA defenders at an NBA pace. That is why so many teams falter against even "inferior" opposition.

And take the Rays with you! Whilee I don't want to really sewe hrte Bolts leave, I think there is a point with the American League's Tampa Bat Rays. Their stadium is in the wrong pace (St. Pete instead of Tampa proper) and generally pretty bad. Players hate it, and fans don't (because they can't) go there to see games. Therer are a lot of fans in Tampa, but they're mostly stuck with TV because the traffic is so awful. This despite the Rays usually being really good. they need more local appreciation or to move to a city that appreciastes them.

Warriors-Celtics has the makings of a classic in the first two games are any indication.. People forget that the Warriorsa are an Original Eight team, and that their rivalry with th4 Celticfs hatres back from the days of Bill Russell and Wilt Chamberlain. The two great centers -- Russell the ultimate defensive center and Wilt the offensive juggernaut -- played many epic duels. It's amazing to thing there was not enough interest in the NBA at the time to justify any of the TV outlets bothering to send cameras to a certain gym in Hershey, Penssylfania on that one specific date that Wilt exploded for a hundred points.

The original The Pink Panther is rarely seen today. The remake is probably epic bad, but the original is a deft sp[oof on the "gentleman thief". Yes, Peter Sellers did take over the film, and yes he was brillirant and played a brilliantly-drawn character. But an aging David Niven is great too. I have not inflicted Steve Martin's Clouseau on myself. No doubt the film is as bad as I heard it is, because lightning can be made to fill the bottle only once. It's clear, though, that he loves the history and the character,. It's sort of like the much maligned Blues Brothers 2000, where Elwood Blues must get a new band together after the death of his brother, while also taking care of a rebellious orphan. As a comedy, it doesn't work. But the music... Dan Akroyd is a great lover of the blues. It is seemingly in his blood, and BB2000 is a love letter to the music that saved his soul.. And there is much great music here. So I would call it a semi-bad film. It is possible to hate a movie and love both the soundtrack and the love that went into its production.

https://youtu.be/-Y8QxOjuYHg A man and the love of his life -- a guitar named Lucille

And in the other game tonight, Edmonton made the Conference Finals by putting away archenemy Calgary in overtime. I think this is the first time in the Connor McDavid era the Oilers have reached the conference finals. No Canadian team has won the Stanley Cup since the 1992-93 Montreal Canadiens.

Q: You say this tree was plantred here by Darkseid and nothing else grows here for miles? A: No, you can't be 007 yet. You'll have to wait your turn like everyone else.

The Game of Spanish Flu NT:L Subtle signs the LoFi Girl (the one who its at her desk studying day and night while Muzak soft music plays in the background) no longer finds your antics amusing.

I had to take care of other things and had to set the game I was watching aside. Were the Oilers able to hang on? The other series in the East is the Rangers and the Hurricanes, which New York tied up today. I'm sure the waiting Lightning would rather play New York than Carolina. That's what's so rough about having to prepare for the dreaded TBA.

Strat-o-Matic Soccer and APBA Cricket

"Gordon..." "Who's this Gordon character?" "That is your name, Gordon..." "My mother calls me Sting. My children call me Sting." (In case anyone wonders, that's from Michael Apted's documentary Bring on the Night, about the recording of Sting's seminal "solo" debut The Dream of the Blue Turtles.)

Three Words: Razor Hockey Pucks.

Sometimes going for satire does not work. I have not seen the film, but I know what it was trying to do. But it sounds overambitious and full of the fetishization of murder that they were trying to warn s against. In many cases our celebrity and noteriety-based culture has gone too far. It's hard to go too over-the-top in fiction when Kyle Rittenhouse happens in the real world.

"Fleeing from the Cylon tyranny, the last Battlestar -- Galactica -- leads a rag-tag fugitive fleet on a lonely quest. A shining planet -- known as Earth!"

Q: What did they call John Lennon after a munchies-fueled overzealous night at the all-you-can-eat buffet? Q: Are you sure your son has the stuff for Clown College of Oklahoma? A: They don't let women kill you — not here in the Tower of Song.

The Great, Magnificent, and Powerful Dr. Oz. NT: Subtle signs that the editor of your local newspaper (assuming you have one) is out of their mind.

The Coffee Ground Sandwich, McJolt. A couple of those and it may be neccesary to tranquilize you, but it may take a rather large brick. NT: What's REALLY in those 19 Herbs and Spices KFC uses to bread its chicken.

It's raining Chocolate Milk and Tacos. NT: Subtle signs you've had one too many Egg McMuffins this morning.

This may be a game-changer for Video Games and Esports: FIFA has broken up with EA Sports, who will not produce their game without the naming rights in 2023 after thirty profitable years. Electronic Arts has been the six-hundred-pound gorilla of the genre. Their soccer, football (Madden), and hockey ("Chel") sell like hotcakes even if critics have gone less and less impressed each season. Not only are the games popular and profitable, but it gives the distributor a near monopoly in the field. Right now, for example, they have an EXCLUISIVE license with the NFL. The games also have a substantial Esports presence. I attended one of the last eMLS (the official Esports competition of Major League Soccer) tournament finals that were open to the public and had a grand old time seeing people so good at a video game that they earn their livings at it. While this finally lets other companies into the party, EA Sports is still free to negotiate with leagues and clubs on its own. So they can still get exclusive rights to the kits, images, stadiums, and league structures of any organization whose price they are willing to meet. They just can't use FIFA, UEFA, and CONCAF (the North American organization, including Canada, the USA, Mexico, and the Central American and Caribbean countries) events in the game. Meanwhile, the splintering of soccer games may force EA to finally update their game engine to modern standards. They have been riding on FIFA's coattails for decades with little incentive to make real gameplay changes. If this cascades, we could end up with multiple NFL or NHL games in the future. Up until the mid-aughts, EA's versions competed with those of other companies before they started locking up the popular rights just to themselves.

"The weather will be cloudy with a 65% chance of wiper fluid". NT: The weather report for May 18, 2122 in the city of your choice.

Three Foxbats of varying sizes, all claiming to be the real one. They are all correct. NT: Why multiple Foxbats of varying sizes are showing up everywhere on Earth.