Michael Hopcroft

Toasters. Because you know darn well some guy who's seen a lot of Red Dwarf will be hostile towards toasters.

"I can screw every female I meet with utter impunity!" "Oh dear. <Let's not let our son play the Bard anymre!"

Q: Somehow, "These are the Voyages of the Starship Ronald McDonald" doesn't have the same grafvitas, does it? A: We use Pig-based Technology for almost everything now.

Q: Why is the Sandman not a villain? I'm having nightmares about pigeons every time I sleep! A: One of these cows is not like the others. One of these cows doesn't belong.

A Chastity Belt.

The Statue of Zeus isn't just a statue. Zeus himself inhabits it -- and man ishe ticked off! A: What did you do to tick off all these cops?

The Colossus of Rhodes is shopping for an apartment the size of the Chrysler Building. In fact, he wanted to live in the Chrysler Building itself. There were objections.

Q: Quack? What do you mean "Quack"? I was trying to look up Mehmet Oz's Wikipedia page and this is all I get? A: Humpty Dumpty may have had a Great Fall, but his winter was even better!

I didn't hear his reasoning, but at the Gencon where D&D 3.0 and the whole OGL phenomenon began, Villains & Vigilantes developer Jeff Dee was strongly opposed to it. I don't recall his reasoning, but my guess was that involved the efforts by WOTC at the time to turn as many companies/publishers as possible into promotion sources for D&D. It may have turned out that way, but only to a limited extent. They certainly did not expect M&M to build its own engine on the core of D20, and when they launched 4e they never in a million years expected their magazine contractor would turn around and release Pathfinder (aka D&D 3.75) and build it into a juggernaut. I'm surprised this didn't happen in 2009.

Q: Lethal Injection? I kill thirty-eight people I didn't like anyway, and I have to settle for lethal injection? A: It's always morning somewhere.

I'm pretty sure the jewel is what he meant, but let me also point out the obvious secondary answer, which is Blake Edward's 1964 farce -- perhaps one of the most perfect of film comedies, at least of the 1960's.

Paizo has already been hedging its bets by going into a licensed co-publication with Pinnacle for Savage Worlds adaptations of Pathfinder. Pinnacle has been releasing aggressively lately with games like Flash Gordon. Pinnacle has their own version of the OGL, but is willing to lend its promotional muscle to the larger players. And the people at Cubicle 7 who greenlit Doctors and Daleks are probably looking for Cybermen to delete the whole mess. They got on that bandwagon about six months too late.

Q: Why are Transformers here? Don't you know this batch is innocent? A: You know there's only one way out. And it's clearly marked "EXIT".

What to say? What to say? How do I offer the comfort so many people need in a time like this?

"There's more of you in here?" "Oh no, not here. I made sure of that. I am very good at compartmentalizing everything. That's why I get to be surface, and they have to be put away." "Well if one of those Pearls has the phone, can you tell me how to find her?" "Oh, you don't want to go back where they are. It's a mess. Let's just stay here, where everything is alphabetized!" "I know." " I wanted to tell you for so long."

Q: what is the entire workforces of Twitter and Warner Brothers saying behind the boss's back? A: No we don't take that, we don't take Apple Pay either, and we'll call the Feds if you offer us Bitcoin!

Even though Americans do not typically celebrate Boxing Day, it's a great concept. My famile opbserves it in a fashion by having our family Christmas gathering on that day. Food, limitedesents, and Bugs Bunny. Good times. Day of the Dead, which is big among Mescans and Mexican-Americans, is another holiday that Americans should become more knowledgeable of in my opinion.

My family usually gathers at my mother's apartment building on Boxing Day. But Portland is having its own winter storm. It's only light snow by Northeasxt standards, but that's not the problem. The problem is Ice, coating the roads and making travel hard and dangerous. I'm going to be giving someone in the family a copy of my newest book. Mom gets a szet of color Sharpies designed with Adult Coloring in mind. I was hoping to do some of my shopping after work yesterday, but the storm intervened. I'm scheduled to work Christmas Eve, but will have to check my rides and find out if they're actually still on.

The first thing is that there are npow six wild boars pulling the sl;eigh, Santa has grons some impressive lower canines, and some guy named Teatime has decided there's a target on Santa's back. NT: If Terry Pratchett had written the Nativity story...

Q: So you think Gibraltar is unattractive? I'll take care of that. But just don't drop the suitcase unless you really want to ruin your day. A: There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering Kaboom!

Well, we all know people should be playing less D&D and more Fantasy Hero. But the interesting things being done with the open content parts of 5e are starting to get interesting -- even if it's a bit unclear whether the timing is off. I'm looking oddly at you, Doctors & Daleks... (Yes, this is a real game). Perhaps Hasbro has decided the tabletop RPG itself is in its death throes, under competition from consoles and a resurgent interest in board games. This despite the new linkage between D&D and Magic the Gathering has produced some very interesting results. I found the Ravnica setting richly imaginative, if not exactly someplace I would want to live or even visit), and the only reason I haven't purchased the new Eberron book is lack of money. But Doctor Who? Really? This makes about as much sense as the episodes with Santa Claus and superheroes.

I don't think it would work at any higher level. I still remember the season when the Nuggets attempted a system like that based on getting breakaways in every possession and shooting within 10 seconds. NBA defenses quickly put a stop to that, and the coach was let go as he insisted on his new system despite that it was running his players into the ground At higher levels, a plan like that might work for a game or two, before the intense research of Division I coaching staffs catalog every weakness. Then you get picked apart into ridiculously small pieces.

I think I've heard that. It is amazing. I also understand that Gershwin orchestrated a version for what was then a standard jazz band. I don't think I've heard that one.

I did not get to watch the match, but I did see pictures of the medal ceremony where Messi had one of the Qatari officials slip a traditional jacket of honor over his shoulders, covering up the Argentine logo of his jersey. Whether the dignitary realized he was doing it or not, it may have honor Messi but disrespected Argentina. One last tone-deaf gesture from the worst World Cup host in the competition's history. I wouldn't say "international sports" because Hitler hosted an Olympics. You can't get much worse than Hitler.

Get all the leaders from around the world all together in a great big ring, bill it as the Loudest Show on Earth, and let them fight li8ike Hell to see who's King.