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The Evil Dating Game


Marcus Impudite

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inspired by this thread

 

Marcus: Hello folks, and welcome to another edition of The Evil Dating Game. I'm your host Marcus The Impudite. Please give a warm...er, cold welcome for our lovely evil bachlorette. From The Cronicles Of Narnia, say hello to the White Witch Of Naria.

 

[audience claps]

 

White Witch: Hi, Marcus.

 

[Marcus smiles and straightens his tie]

 

Marcus: Well hello yourself sweetie. Anywho, say hello to today's three evil bachlors.

 

White Witch: Hi guys.

 

Bachlor #1 (Randell Flagg from The Stand): Hey baby.

 

Bachlor #2 (Sauron from Lord Of The Rings): Hello.

 

Bachlor #3 (Cole Turner from Charmed): Hey.

 

[audience claps]

 

Marcus: Okay, Let's begin shall we? WW, would you please read your first question?

 

White Witch (clears her throat): Okay, Bachelor #1, if you were a puppy, what breed would you be?

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Re: The Evil Dating Game

 

Randall Flagg is the big baddy from Stephen King's The Stand. The Walking Man (think that was the nickname). The devil or high level demon of some such. I think he was in the Dark Tower series but dont know.

 

"The Walking Dude"

 

He appears in several King stories, including The Stand, Eyes of the Dragon, and The Dark Tower series.

 

"He looks like anybody you see on the street. But when he grins, birds fall off telephone lines. When he looks at you a certain way, your prostrate goes bad and your urine burns. The grass yellows up and dies where he spits. He's always outside. He came out of time. He doesn't know himself. He has the name of a thousand demons. ... His name is Legion. ... He knows magic. He can call the wolves and live in the crows. He's the king of nowhere."

The Stand Page 818.

 

That about sums it up, doesn't it?

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Re: The Evil Dating Game

 

Randall Flagg is the big baddy from Stephen King's The Stand. The Walking Man (think that was the nickname). The devil or high level demon of some such. I think he was in the Dark Tower series but dont know.

 

"The Walking Dude"

 

He appears in several King stories, including The Stand, Eyes of the Dragon, and The Dark Tower series.

 

"He looks like anybody you see on the street. But when he grins, birds fall off telephone lines. When he looks at you a certain way, your prostrate goes bad and your urine burns. The grass yellows up and dies where he spits. He's always outside. He came out of time. He doesn't know himself. He has the name of a thousand demons. ... His name is Legion. ... He knows magic. He can call the wolves and live in the crows. He's the king of nowhere."

The Stand Page 818.

 

That about sums it up, doesn't it?

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Re: The Evil Dating Game

 

I know this is a joke thread (and a funny one at that) but Cole from charmed up there with Flagg and Sauron?

Never underesteemate a demon like Cole, no matter how many times the Charmed Ones have toasted him he keeps coming back.

 

White Witch: Bachelor #2, same question.

 

Bachelor #2: I wouldn't be a puppy, I eat puppies for breakfast.

 

[White Witch smiles and raises an eyebrow]

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Re: The Evil Dating Game

 

Never underesteemate a demon like Cole, no matter how many times the Charmed Ones have toasted him he keeps coming back.

 

Sorry if I have trouble taking him as seriously as I take Flagg and Sauron, YMMV and thats fine.

 

Didn't Cole fall in love with Phoebe, and instead of killing her and her sisters, killed his masters? I remember him being good for a while too, some episodes where he saved a couple of the sisters and tried to convince them he had turned away from evil. The only reason he even became evil again was that he was possessed by the spirit of the source of all evil. If it wasn't for being possessed by that spirit, he wouldn't even be evil at all. IIRC

 

Then again, I haven't watched the show in a while so maybe things have changed, but this guy is most definitely NOT in the same level of evil as Sauron or Flagg, which were both pure, 100%, all the time evil.

 

Evil is a full time job. You gotta take it seriously ;) no time off to pursue hot protagonists;)

 

Back to your regularly scheduled joke thread :D

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