Michael Hopcroft

Q: Mommy? Why is Daddy standing in front of the hamsters' cage in his underwear? A: It looks into the window with its unblinking stare -- it's clearly fascinated by what goes on in there!

Q: Oh, my God, it's a Man Snake! Run for your... .lives? A: A balky microwave is a tricky thing to bet your life on!

I'm in the process of starting a new, minor-league business project and am coming to the conclusion that I might have to go into minor-league debt to get what I need to run it long-term.

Q: What's the first piece of advice given to a young adult adopting their first puppy? A: They can find anything under the sun -- mostly things you aren't really looking for.

There's an episode of Crash Course Philosophy devoted to that question that I highly recommend, which also asks about the aesthetic value of putting goldfish in electric blenders as part of an art installation.

Which is absolutely correct -- and the studios actually like it that way because writing off the losses means they don't have to pay as much in taxes, and it also reduces what they have to pay actors, directors, and other "Content creators". That said, the failures can be black eyes for studio chiefs, who frequently lose their jobs after a string of such failures, and may be a reason why there are now only three or four corporations controlling virtually all of Hollywood now.

Q: I can;t find the recipe for Duck a l'Orange anywhere, Linguini. Do you know what it is? A: Life is your restaurant. Tip accordingly.

The draft is over, free agency is about to become official, and it's time for the new season thread. Random observation: Whoever are handling the affairs of Bol Bol seems to have done the kid a horrible disservice. They cheat to get him into Oregon (probably putting the school into serious trouble with the NCAA), have him turn pro despite having played only nine collegiate games before an injury of the worst type for a big man to get, and expect him to still be a lottery pick? Nope. Mid-second rounder, 44th overall. He might not even make an NBA roster. And the reason he fell so far is that nobody is sure if he even really wants to play professional basketball at the NBA level.Having to undergo the humiliation of being the last guy in the green room for close to an hour doesn't help. I can;t help but feel the young man is being pushed into a place he doesn't really want to be because everyone expects Manute Bol's son to be a potential superstar. There are, of course, many other stories from this draft.

Q: Do you really think I can pick up a nice guy, Captain Jack? A: Yes, I have danced with the devil in the pale moonlight. Thanks for asking. Now DIE!

1500 people have sent a petition o Netflix asking them to cancel the "blasphemous" Good Omens -- which airs on Amazon, not Netflix. I suspect someone was playing a joke on them -- the signatories, not Netflix.

"I don't dislike him. I just don't like him. Which is quite different." "Of course it would happen to a foreigner. No Englishman would dream of dying in someone else's house." "Sir Richard, life is a game, where the player must appear ridiculous."

he original cast recording of Hadestown, recorded during a live show so you get some of the thunderous applause that greeted many of these songs. The show is a retelling of the Orpheus myth set in something similar to the Depression, where the god Hades' marriage is on the rocks and he's overcompensating by turning the land of the dead into a massive factory complex using the souls of the deceased as labor. Some of the tracks with Hades the god (especially his interaction with Orpheus) are terrifying. I have no likelihood of going to New York and seeing Hadestown live. But heavens do I want to!

Things will be interesting for the Pelicans. Zion Williamson has the potential to be a generational player but he will still be a rookie who needs to adjust to the speed and rigors of the pro game. The young players they got from the Lakers have some intriguing possibilities. Lonzo Ball hasn't become great, ut his assist totals aren't bad and by all accounts he is now playing pretty good defense at the point. He could thrive in New Orleans if Dad lets him be coached. Ingram has serious potential as well. They'll be young. They won't have a ton of experience. They won't really know what they've got until 25-30 games into the season. During that period they could lose a lot of games. But if there's one thing we've learned this season, both in basketball and in hockey, is not to give up on a team too soon. Not many people (myself included) expected the Raptors to win the title. Not many people expected Portland to make a run to the conference finals. This has been a year of surprises.

"If you were French, I would take a knife and you would tell me all I wanted to know. " "But we are allies." "Allies? Do allies keep secrets from each other?" "Lovers lie to each other, and yet they still make love." "Sharpe's a killer. Killed three French cavalrymen and saved Wellesley's life. Three seconds, slash, cut, thrust. And that's while he was still a Sergeant." "So, you and me are going to stop a rebellion? Just the two of us? " "Well I don't see no bugger else."

Q: What do you never want to hear the Comedian say to you? A: I'm leaving for a less complicated galaxy. I hear Andromeda is nice this time of year...

This judge was cited as running one of the best "drug courts" in the state, an institution that diverts low-level drug defenders into programs that help them avoid re-offending and get clean. Any conviction in the court is then expunged and taken off the defendant's record -- an important consideration when so many doors are slammed shut in the faces of ex-convicts.

Q: Here, follow the instructions of this Pink Floyd album, OK? A: All in all, you're just another brick in the wall.

The much-derided Ice Cube family-friendly vehicle Are We Done Yet? is a remake of Mr. Blandings Builds hit Dream House. He plays a Portland sportswriter who recently married a woman with several kids, and wants to move out of his cramped apartment by building a house in the country. Hilarity (supposedly) ensues.

Ivan Golunov, an "investigative reporter" in Moscow, has been in jail jail for a week under drug charges. Not only were the charges generally considered an outright fabrication, but his treatment at the hands of Russian police has been brutal. In a rare reversal, Golunov was given complete vindication and released. In addition, several police officials, including two Generals (yes, Russia has Generals commanding police forces), have been sacked by the Interior Minister. Russia is having regional elections in September, and while the outcome is not in doubt there is a potential for major embarrassment in the international community if Vladimir Putin, the Russian dictator, makes other blatant measures to silence his critics before them. And certainly imprisoning other journalists is something that is being noted.

Q: What do you mean we're down to eight men? A: I'm pretty sure having seventeen players at the line of scrimmage has to be a penalty, but it's not being called.

Q: What is the typical day in college like? A: There is no point to educating your child, so no I'm not going to admit them to Kindergarten.

Q: We need hazmat suits, industrial-strength chlorine bleach, flamethrowers, and rubber chicken to clean the Oval Office every night? A: Where's my rubber stamp? WHERE'S MY RUBBER STAMP?

But not as many after the reaction in the arena to Durant's injury. It is normal to applaud an injured player when he leaves the court or arena out of encouragement, regardless of which team the player is on. But a large group of the Toronto fans cheered that Durant was injured, one of the least classy things you can do at a sporting event. As a result, the Raptors fanbase has been under a storm of criticism. I don't think Toronto wins this; not anymore. Game 5 was a backbreaker, with the Raptors head coach calling a stupid time out right when Leonard was on one of the hottest streaks you will ever see from which the Warriors gained substantial benefit. Golden State proved they could take the Raptors' best shot and prevail. All the momentum and energy is on their side.

The collaborative band formed by Primus bassist Les Claypool (one of the most brilliant and eccentric bass players in rock today) and Sean Ono Lennon (second acknowledged son of the Beatle John Lennon). Claypool has described Sean Lennon as even weirder than himself (which he considers a high-order compliment), and they've recorded several albums and toured together.