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AngryBug

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Posts posted by AngryBug

  1. Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

     

    NT: Movies that aren't' date=' but could be about Dentists.[/quote']The Thomas Crown Affair

    Little does Dr. Obvious realize that when young Thomas comes to him for a simple dental procedure, he, his life and his marriage are all about to be blown to kingdom come by a passionate, novocaine-fueled weekend of forbidden love.

  2. Re: Answers & Questions

     

    A) Right after the Alice Cooper/Ozzy Osbourne fight on Showtime.
    Q. Hey' date=' when's the premiere of [i']KISS vs. GWAR[/i]?

     

    A. You complain incessantly... and you smell like a dung-heap... and you have no knowledge whatsoever of your potential.

  3. Re: Answers & Questions

     

    A: purple monkey dishwashers
    Q. What other cost-cutting measures have you imposed?

    A: Banana on the bottom' date=' cherry on the top, and enough chocolate inbetween to gag a boggie.[/quote']

    Q. How did the director describe scene four of Naughty Vixens III?

     

    A. If we all pull together, we can make sure that no Answer remains unquestioned.

  4. Re: Answers & Questions

     

    A: Gloves are optional
    Q. Okay, fine, so your doctor wants you to have a physical two or three times a year instead of just once- big deal. Why does that mean he's hot for you?

     

    A. It's easy. I think of a man... then I take away reason and accountability.

  5. Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

     

    NT: Super-pets for superheroes who never actually had superpets.
    Spidey the tarantula -

    Peter Parker, witnessing the radiation accident which gave this formerly ordinary spider enhanced speed, agility, strength and web-slinging abilities- along with an enhanced intelligence- made a pet of the hairy creature, seeing in 'Spidey' his own origins.

    Spidey followed Peter wherever he went, and soon was fighting arm-in-arm-in-arm with Spider-man against all manner of foes, providing much unexpected help and companionship to the loner super-hero.

    Unfortunately, the eight-legged sidekick ultimately met a tragic demise; he was dropped on the floor by the Green Goblin.

  6. Re: Answers & Questions

     

    A: I catch em' date=' you're supposed to cook em, that's the deal.[/quote']Q. I'm sorry, I must be hearing things. I could have sworn that you just said that you want me to scrape that thing off your front tire and make dinner out of it...

    A: Extra Long Cheese Coney.
    Q. Great job, honey. I knew you could cook that up nice. So, what you gonna call this dish, anyway? 'Roadkill Rabbit'? 'Pressed Bunny'?

     

    A. Why do you love me? It's driving me crazy.

  7. Re: Answers & Questions

     

    A: Coming on a swing and a prayer.
    Q. What was the trapeze artist doing that got him arrested for lewdness and condemned for blasphemy?

     

    A. Well, right at the moment I'm Schrodinger's cat, you see. Which I suppose means that I don't count as a conscious observer...

  8. Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

     

    NT: World's dumbest crooks.
    "All right, I'm going to go over our entire plan again, in great detail. First, though, I'm going to start this cam-corder. I'll make lots of copies for you all, don't worry..."

     

     

    NT: The last thing you remember saying to your wife before waking up on the floor...

  9. Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

     

    Psst. Black Lotus' date=' New topic[/quote']

    Err.. yeah, I'm... uh, Black Lotus, I just... accidentally logged in under the wrong user name, that's it, I'll just fix that in a minute... right after I post a...

     

    NT: What really killed off the dinosaurs.

     

    (PS: "Come visit our City and meet the Gorilla your dreams!!")

  10. Re: Answers & Questions

     

    A: We wish to separate the country into two halves. Canada for Canadans and Candia for Canadians.
    Q. What is your post-invasion plan if Operation:Sucker-punch succeeds, Mr. President?

     

    A. You can fail to achieve what you've always believed you were capable of from the start.

  11. Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

     

    NT: Answering machine messages of various superheroes

    "Hello, you've reached Doctor Bruce Banner. Since I am unable to answer the phone, I suggest that you head to the nearest basement and remain there until I get back to you, or the radio says the city is safe. Good luck."

     

     

    NT: Quotes from the travel brochure for Gorilla City...

  12. Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

     

    NT: TV advertisments whose target demographics include ninjas

    "New formula Tide now comes with Ectolux! Gently dissolves even the toughest bloodstains... in cold water!"

     

    NT: Signs that the Japanese exchange student staying at your house learned all her English from Yukari-sensei (the homeroom teacher of the girls fo Azumanga Daioh).

    You ask her if she'd mind taking the dog for a walk, then later find a collar in your stir-fry.

     

    ...

     

    Okay, I make that three answers for each (yeah, those count, suck it up and don't be a baby) so...

     

    NT: What ordinary people would really do with super-powers...

  13. Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

     

    NT: Signs that the Japanese exchange student staying at your house learned all her English from Yukari-sensei (the homeroom teacher of the girls fo Azumanga Daioh).

    I don't know what "Yukari-sensei", "Azumanga Daioh", or "fo" mean, so...

     

    NT: TV advertisements whose target demographics include ninjas

    Arrid Extra-Dry Unscented Anti-Perspirant:Never let them smell you coming!

  14. Re: Answers & Questions

     

    A: This petition must be filed in duplicate.

    Q. Well, it took us weeks of hard work, but we finally have enough signatures to save Enterprise! And to think, another day and it would have been too late... What? What do you mean, we only have half the signatures we need!?!

     

    A. My lady belongs here and so do I.

  15. Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

     

    NT: Signs that Sailor Pluto (the Guardian of Time and Space) is trying to steal your boyfriend.

    Hey, wait a minute... He was never my boyfriend...

    What was I thinking?

    He's been Sailor Pluto's boyfriend for ages!

     

    NT: Things you can say to talk dirty when the kids are around.

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