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Posts posted by AngryBug
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Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
NT: Movies that aren't' date=' but could be about Dentists.[/quote']The Thomas Crown AffairLittle does Dr. Obvious realize that when young Thomas comes to him for a simple dental procedure, he, his life and his marriage are all about to be blown to kingdom come by a passionate, novocaine-fueled weekend of forbidden love.
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Re: Answers & Questions
Q. Hey' date=' when's the premiere of [i']KISS vs. GWAR[/i]?A) Right after the Alice Cooper/Ozzy Osbourne fight on Showtime.A. You complain incessantly... and you smell like a dung-heap... and you have no knowledge whatsoever of your potential.
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Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
Herbie' date=' the lovable robot sidekick who's smarter than Reed Richards and adorably quarrels with the Thing... hmm? He what? He [i']made[/i] the cut?NT: Fantastic "Fifth" member that didn't make the cut.You're putting me on.
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Re: Answers & Questions
Q. What other cost-cutting measures have you imposed?A: purple monkey dishwashersA: Banana on the bottom' date=' cherry on the top, and enough chocolate inbetween to gag a boggie.[/quote']Q. How did the director describe scene four of Naughty Vixens III?
A. If we all pull together, we can make sure that no Answer remains unquestioned.
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Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
"Oh... no' date=' wait! I meant [i']Positive[/i]... I always get confused because I think of 'Negative' as being bad..."NT--the last thing you want to hear during sexNT: Worst pick-up line ever.
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Re: Answers & Questions
Q. Okay, fine, so your doctor wants you to have a physical two or three times a year instead of just once- big deal. Why does that mean he's hot for you?A: Gloves are optionalA. It's easy. I think of a man... then I take away reason and accountability.
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Re: Answers & Questions
Q. So, in his memoirs Clinton says that Monica just misunderstood him? Why, what does he claim that he said?A: Just blow me... a kiss before you leave.A. The boys wanna fight, so why don't you come over?
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Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
Spidey the tarantula -NT: Super-pets for superheroes who never actually had superpets.Peter Parker, witnessing the radiation accident which gave this formerly ordinary spider enhanced speed, agility, strength and web-slinging abilities- along with an enhanced intelligence- made a pet of the hairy creature, seeing in 'Spidey' his own origins.
Spidey followed Peter wherever he went, and soon was fighting arm-in-arm-in-arm with Spider-man against all manner of foes, providing much unexpected help and companionship to the loner super-hero.
Unfortunately, the eight-legged sidekick ultimately met a tragic demise; he was dropped on the floor by the Green Goblin.
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Re: Answers & Questions
A: I catch em' date=' you're supposed to cook em, that's the deal.[/quote']Q. I'm sorry, I must be hearing things. I could have sworn that you just said that you want me to scrape that thing off your front tire and make dinner out of it...
Q. Great job, honey. I knew you could cook that up nice. So, what you gonna call this dish, anyway? 'Roadkill Rabbit'? 'Pressed Bunny'?A: Extra Long Cheese Coney.A. Why do you love me? It's driving me crazy.
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Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
"Now That You're Out of the Closet' date=' Keep Headin' on Out the Front Door[/i']"NT: Break up song titles...NT: Signs that your cat is secretly plotting to kill you...
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Re: Answers & Questions
Q. Why, why, why must you keep picking at that thing!?A: It's not getting better.A. The short native grasses don't care that the ashes of your dreams match their dry shade of brown.
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Re: Answers & Questions
Q. What was the trapeze artist doing that got him arrested for lewdness and condemned for blasphemy?A: Coming on a swing and a prayer.A. Well, right at the moment I'm Schrodinger's cat, you see. Which I suppose means that I don't count as a conscious observer...
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Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
"All right, I'm going to go over our entire plan again, in great detail. First, though, I'm going to start this cam-corder. I'll make lots of copies for you all, don't worry..."NT: World's dumbest crooks.NT: The last thing you remember saying to your wife before waking up on the floor...
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Re: Answers & Questions
Q. All right, you've used the 50/50, so you have two possible answers to choose from. What's your answer going to be, "A: Hun", or "B..."A) I guess Attila was the first Anime Boyfriend then.A. A base canard, sir!
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Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
Psst. Black Lotus' date=' New topic[/quote']Err.. yeah, I'm... uh, Black Lotus, I just... accidentally logged in under the wrong user name, that's it, I'll just fix that in a minute... right after I post a...
NT: What really killed off the dinosaurs.
(PS: "Come visit our City and meet the Gorilla your dreams!!")
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Re: Answers & Questions
Q. What is your post-invasion plan if Operation:Sucker-punch succeeds, Mr. President?A: We wish to separate the country into two halves. Canada for Canadans and Candia for Canadians.A. You can fail to achieve what you've always believed you were capable of from the start.
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Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
NT: Answering machine messages of various superheroes"Hello, you've reached Doctor Bruce Banner. Since I am unable to answer the phone, I suggest that you head to the nearest basement and remain there until I get back to you, or the radio says the city is safe. Good luck."
NT: Quotes from the travel brochure for Gorilla City...
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Re: Answers & Questions
Q. How's Prometheus feeling?A: He still has a sore side.A. Laugh along, even though they're laughing at you, and the stupid things you do, 'cause you think that poor is cool.
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Re: Answers & Questions
A. If I could walk that way' date=' I wouldn't need the talcum powder.[/quote']Q. Sigh. Fine. If I must. "Walk this way, doctor."
A. Well, maybe you'll like this one better, you stuck-up, poncy little git.
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Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
NT: TV advertisments whose target demographics include ninjas"New formula Tide now comes with Ectolux! Gently dissolves even the toughest bloodstains... in cold water!"
NT: Signs that the Japanese exchange student staying at your house learned all her English from Yukari-sensei (the homeroom teacher of the girls fo Azumanga Daioh).You ask her if she'd mind taking the dog for a walk, then later find a collar in your stir-fry.
...
Okay, I make that three answers for each (yeah, those count, suck it up and don't be a baby) so...
NT: What ordinary people would really do with super-powers...
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Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
NT: Signs that the Japanese exchange student staying at your house learned all her English from Yukari-sensei (the homeroom teacher of the girls fo Azumanga Daioh).I don't know what "Yukari-sensei", "Azumanga Daioh", or "fo" mean, so...
NT: TV advertisements whose target demographics include ninjasArrid Extra-Dry Unscented Anti-Perspirant:Never let them smell you coming!
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Re: Answers & Questions
A: And she gets paid to do that job!Q. Let me see if I've got this straight; Your wife will volunteer to work a charity bingo if she can smoke and...
A. If I could walk that way, I wouldn't need the talcum powder.
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Re: Answers & Questions
A: This petition must be filed in duplicate.Q. Well, it took us weeks of hard work, but we finally have enough signatures to save Enterprise! And to think, another day and it would have been too late... What? What do you mean, we only have half the signatures we need!?!
A. My lady belongs here and so do I.
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Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat
NT: Signs that Sailor Pluto (the Guardian of Time and Space) is trying to steal your boyfriend.Hey, wait a minute... He was never my boyfriend...
What was I thinking?
He's been Sailor Pluto's boyfriend for ages!
NT: Things you can say to talk dirty when the kids are around.
Answers & Questions
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Re: Answers & Questions