Drhoz

Terzo's friend Bertuscio, lawyer with a night job of vigilante. The portrait was him 20 years ago, so the Beard of Awesome is no longer ginger.

Pathfinder - Hell's Rebels : A Song Of Silver Rajira’s player: I must say I’m impressed by this module - not many reuse maps in a sensible fashion. Terzo’s player: Well, it’s probably going to be a museum of the Rebellion once everything settles down Rajira’s player: At least that’s a step up from tourist trap. Ayva’s player: It’s been a headquarters for evil cultists twice. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it’s happened twice. Terzo and Rajira press their ears to the next door, and can hear some shuffling and invoking of verbal spell components. We all rush in before they can set up anything as nasty as we would in their situation. The remaining cultists have already retreated into the adjacent chamber, but that doesn’t stop Rajira neatly sniping somebody messing with a component pouch. They probably shouldn’t be gushing green blood, but that's more likely to be the result of Rajira’s venom rather than anything inherent in their own biology. Mahat rushes it to apply some more close-range violence and discovers that one of the spells the enemy were casting was Invisibility on some of the Skinsaw Cultists. The fight rapidly devolves into massed spellfire in and out of the doorway, and our respective combat monsters get into a scrum. Combat monsters like a Summoned Dire Tiger. Civilla OoC: I summoned a Shadow Blender. One of the people on the other side looks familiar - we may have met her at that dinner party in Vyre. Mind you, she is currently in her Hybrid Wererat form, so we don’t know for sure. Shimza: I want to go home, I've got a craving for souls of the damned. Or pickles. Rajira: Why not both? Terzo does have to uncomfortably close to the melee to apply medical aid. Mahat certainly needs it. Mahat: I get by with a little help from my friends. Terzo: That may well be, but do you get high with a little help from a Euphoric Cloud? Rajira: Probably not, he’s got a racial resistance to Poison effects. Mahat: Set kukri to ‘frappe’. The mysterious wererat woman from Vyre does try to flee, and we catch up with her as she is frantically trying to open the door that Civilla Arcane Locked earlier. Hei-Fen: *rattle rattle rattle* SH**! Terzo: Have you tried ‘pull’ not ‘push’? Dire Tiger: BIG RODENT *POUNCE, CLAW CLAW BITE RAKE RAKE* Civilla abuses a few magical tricks to try and get some answers out of the Vyrish rat-lady, since the Dire Tiger got a bit enthusiastic with the gut-raking, but her departing spirit seems unwilling to co-operate. Hei-Fen’s Corpse: F*** yoooooou… *blegh* Shimza hands out little pieces of paper to everybody still bleeding from our various wounds. Shimza: Hold this until I tell you to open it. Ayva: This just says ‘Feugo-’*FWOOM* Having a Phoenix-blooded changeling in the party is so useful sometimes. Even though it’s always startling when a fireball goes off in your hand and you feel better afterwards. Shimza: What do I do with the other hundred of these Fire Traps? Maybe they’ll be useful in her and Civilla’s long term plans to become the Immortal Witch-Queens of Kintargo. They’re already attracting a coven. When these are the kind of characters playing on the 'good' side of the Rebellion, you're already right to be concerned by the players' plans for the Hell's Vengeance campaign, when the PCs are working the Chellish side of events. We’ll have to cart all these bodies downstairs to decapitate and bury (read: feed to a giant chthonic amphibian) anyway - it’ll make it much harder for anybody to interrogate them, for one thing. Especially if we dispose of the heads elsewhere. Of course given how many people we’ve got rid of down here previously, the psychic signature of the Hidden Monastery must be getting a bit polluted. Civilla: There may be a haunting problem here later. We do find something of particular interest on Hei-Fen’s body. A contract, signed by Barzillai Thrune himself, promising that the Inquisitor and his underlings will turn a blind eye to the cult’s activities, as long as they use their ritual murders to destabilise the situation in Kintargo. Rajira: Oh ho, we’re going to get SO much use out of that. Ayva: Chelaxian bureaucracy wins again. They record EVERYTHING. Barzillai will probably guess that the Silver Ravens or most accurately the Ghosts of Kintargo are at it again when the entire Skinsaw cult vanishes off the face of the planet. Certainly, without the threat of horrible murder and mutilation for anybody breaking curfew his grip on the city crumbles still further.

What a relief, Hell's Rebels Season Four didn't end on a cliffhanger and actually got renewed. (sorry for the very long but unavoidable gap since the last session) When last we met, Barzillai Thrune's fascist state was being rapidly unravelled by a coalition of artists, intellectuals, and sexual deviants. In particular the Skinsaw Cultists that Thrune imported are being demoralised and in some cases caramelised by our ambush inside Hocus' Phantasmogorium, and they're attempting to get behind us to counterattack. They don't know the building and its secret passages as well as we do. They also don't know that Civilla has Arcane Locked the front and side doors. Rajira: We don’t want any of them escaping after all. Rajira: So, Civilla, how does this ‘Hungry Earth’ work? Civilla: Indiscriminately, as far as I know. SOMEBODY on the other side of the next wall knows about the secret doors, and is loudly abusing the rest of the cultists, as we get into position to ambush them again. GM: I don’t think any of them have even SEEN you yet. Mahat throws the door open and everybody who can throws AoE spells into the room, regardless of any works of art or furnishings still left from the original business. Shimza: FIREBALL Ayva: Those belong in a museum. 🙁 Rajira: This isn’t a museum, it's a tourist trap. Civilla: FIREBALL Ayva: Would a third fireball be a bit much? Rajira: I don’t think so. Ayva: FIREBALL. The solution to many problems. Mahat can see the Skinsaw leader - she’s a beautiful humanoid with spider legs behind her. Mahat: Well that's OK, I’m a snake man myself. You’re something, but I really don’t care what. Hey people, Spider Person! After the explosions a significant proportion of the next room is glowing a dull red. Ayva: We’ll consider that difficult ground, shall we? The surviving latecomers from the first room take note of the repeated KABOOMS, reconsider some of their life choices, and instead look for somewhere to hide. The Spiderwoman seems to have avoided most of the conflagration, however. She attempts to Web Mahat, which at least is thematically appropriate. Rajira attempts to Fly behind her, and gets bitten. Despite her species' naturally toxic nature, she is Poisoned, and now has all the mental acuity of a poisonous mushroom. Bertuscio doesn’t achieve much either. Terzo attempts a Blistering Invective to set the Spiderwoman on fire. Terzo: Could you do us all a small favour and JUST DIE? *Intimidate check fails* I don’t think she’s going to oblige us. GM: The Spiderwoman attempts a ‘if I’m going down I’m going to take you down with me’ and is now realising she cannot, in fact, take you down with her. Rajira starts shaking off the venom while her cousin starts cutting off all extraneous limbs off the Spiderwoman. Rajira OoC: A Restoration would be appreciated right now. Civilla OoC: Shimza has a few bottles of Cleric in a Can. Rajira OoC: Useful when we don’t have a cleric in the party. Civilla OoC: Better! They don’t complain, b***h, or demand a tithe. Bertuscio and Terzo get repeatedly referred to as Bert and Ernie. Which is less than ideal since Bertuscio skill with a whip now get him pictured as Bert in a Gimp suit. Terzo's player: Thank you SO much for that. Ayva's player: Now you know what it's like living in my head. Mahat and Bertuscio hunt down the cultists that think they can hide. Mahat: Did you HAVE to get their blood all over me? Ayva OoC: ‘Only when it’s funny’ Rajira OoC: Which is itself amusing because Mahat has no sense of humour. Of course, there’s still half the museum to scour clean of murder-cultists. And we have no idea if they’re using the underground monastery for their own foul purposes.

Chronicles of Selversgard Pt.20 19th of Pharast 4719 The eve of the Spring Equinox, when the Mayorship will be handed over from Blake to Kragor, Nothing of any note happened under his leadership, apart from the outbreak of illness that cost a number of party members their children, and the same party members having to kill their friend after he started turning into a Deep One. Not that they’ve told his widow that - she’s not likely to take the truth well. On the other hand, the new Mayor does have good news for Selversgard - the more progressive druids will allow Selvergard to expand, although one of the more conservative factions has broken with the circle entirely and is making threatening noises. The rest of the druids seem quietly pleased to see the back of them. Also, one of the ancient cisterns we cleared out has been repaired and is being refilled for the town’s use. Eddison has divined something about the flooded silver mines near Selversgard, though - apparently they were deliberately flooded. And it's not at all clear why - it might have ‘a promise’ or ‘a warning’. Perhaps one of the elven druids will have more information - they might be old enough to have actually been around at the time. On the other hand, Skiri continues to miss council meetings, and hasn’t designated a proxy either. Even her family members have noticed that she’s become increasingly distant, and the Fisherman's Guild are getting a bit stroppy. Kragor has sent a few of the militia to bring her in and demand an explanation. Skiri’s reaction to THAT is a bit unexpected - she dived into the river and swam off. Eddison should probably pursue her - he is the only person in town with an actual Swim speed, for one thing, or so we thought. He’ll check that mysterious dome he found on the riverbed, first. He sees a flapping thing deep in the water, and discovers that they’re a pair of dwarf-sized pants. And sets off a trap. The harpoon is nasty enough - the poison is just rude. He swims to the surface and signals for help. Eddison: Yes, I'm actually using Snapdragon Fireworks for their intended purpose! GM: But no-one ever does that! Kernel’s player: ‘What happened?’ ‘Harpoon’ ‘What happened?’ ‘Harpoon’ ‘What happened?’ ‘Dinosaur, don’t ask.’ Eddison: Turns out Drow are into some kinky s*** After he explains what happened for the fifth time, Eddison suggests a plan to get past the trapped underwater door. Using Gonno and Cerberus for muscle, and animated mud as a target for the trap, we get the door forced open. Unfortunately, there don't seem to be any convenient air pockets nearby. Eddison does find a peculiar corpse, however. At least it isn’t Skiri. Kernel CAN give the rest of us Water Breathing for a while, in the form of magical paintings of Merfolk’s Comb, because we probably shouldn’t leave Skiri alone in a place that is clearly pretty dangerous. Gonno: At least it probably isn’t another Owlbear. Arram: I just want to see the monk kick somebody’s head off with swim fins. Eddison: FLAPPITYFLAPPITY The aquatic elf is also alert enough to notice a certain oiliness in the water that wasn’t there earlier. Possibly some kind of cnidarian slime. Arram: Well, I’m heading back up, I’ll come back after you’ve dealt with whatever this is. It’s a Death’s Head Jellyfish - not generally deadly, but the venom causes a facial rictus. Eddison OoC: Somebody actually made Jokerfish? What’s more concerning is that the nearly invisible jellyfish has clearly been strung into position across one of the tunnels. Cerebus gets out his polearm. Cerebus: SCHWING Eddison: Can you never, ever, use that word in connection with jellyfish again? It’s also just as well we jammed some of the more suspicious portals open - some of them are apparently rigged to slam shut. Although that would have limited the access the Bull Sharks had to the party. Bull Sharks are notoriously dangerous, and do well in freshwater. They certainly do well at turning the unfortunate Eddison into mincemeat. Frantically working together, Gonno and Cerberus stop the elf from bleeding out, but barely. Given the sharks were using his head as a chewtoy, it’s a little surprising that he’s happy to continue with the search for Skiri. Eddison: ‘Happy’ is a strong term… The barricades and warning signs in the Aklo tongue are certainly a cause for concern. Cerebus: Well, that’s not going to stop me, I can’t read! Arram: ‘Cerebus, if you can read this you’re going to die’ Eddison: ‘I can’t read therefore I’ll never die!’ Arram: Well your warnings and rotting boards are no match for my poking stick. The chamber beyond is mostly frozen, and there are at least 3 figures trapped in the ice. Even with the brain damage, Eddison recognises the threat as Elder Things, ancient abominations that predate even the Aboleths. Eddison: We are leaving and we’re abandoning the town. Cerebus OoC: Cthulhu Popsicles. Great… At least they’re still hibernating. Unless the ice thaws. Of course most of the surviving myths about them came via the Aboleths, who had reason to be biased. Arram: Bring them out one by one and let the barbarian murder them to death. We eventually decide not to invite further trouble of the eldritch (and possibly rugose) kind and continue following the left-hand wall of the labyrinth, dropping Continual Flame stones at intervals in case we need to retreat at speed. Arram OoC: I.e. Follow spelunkers around if you want free flares. Kernel OoC: Until we come back and find them arranged into an arrow pointing in a particular direction. Gonno: A dark hole with a sign saying ‘FREE HUGS’ In the next room the water is warm to the point of discomfort. Gonno: I was going to say something, but if you’re that hot you have serious health problems. There’s a very very deep pit, with a red glow very far down, and the occasional bubble of volcanic gas. It’s a bit concerning that there’s an open volcanic vent less than a mile from town, but a more immediate concern is the pair of Devilfish. In fact, given what Devilfish look like it’s likely the water just got a little warmer. At least the jet black ink or blood they spray means we don’t have to look at them for long - although it doesn’t seem to stop them seeing us. Cerebus: Which way did they go? Gonno: *completely obscured in the ink cloud* That way, I think! Cerebus: Not helpful! Eddison: Agh! I’m not comfortable being grappled there! Eddison is mangled, and Gonno is grappled, disemboweled, and poisoned. At least the devilfish are evil enough that Arram’s pyromancy is extra effective. The rest of the party are a bit alarmed by the state of their Oread friend when Gonno finally crawls out of the ink cloud. Gonno: Everything… going… black. Arram: It’s just the ink, you’ll be fine. GM: You’re telling him that while measuring him for a pine box? Arram: I can’t tell him that - he MAKES the pine boxes. Cerebus manages to stop Gonno from bleeding to death, while Gonno stops any more of his internal organs floating away, and Eddison discovers that the pocket of volcanic gasses at the roof of the chamber might not be breathable but at least is somewhere we can swig healing potions. If we had any. We’re not adventurers. The naked elf woman in the next chamber is in a pretty rough state too - severely disfigured by her injuries. She bows to us as we clamber exhausted and battered into her chamber. Elf: My Master is aware of your arrival and does not bid you welcome. But you have proven yourselves resilient in passing our defenses and are worthy of some respect. Cerebus: I’ve had about enough of this today - where is our dwarf friend so we can go home? Elf: The dwarf slave? My Master acknowledges your request. I will take you to the slave. If you leave with her my Master will inflict no further violence upon you. Eddison and Arram exchange a glance, and Arram incinerates the elf slave when she turns her back on us. Cerebus: *epic facepalm* Great. What’s next, an Aboleth?! There’s only a few options for aquatic telepathic enslavers, so it’s not entirely surprising that the Master is an Aboleth. At least it’s surprised we killed its slave. Cerebus: I F***ING CALLED IT *Barbarian Rage* The Aboleth is bright enough to recognise that Kernel is a construct, and doesn’t bother trying to telepathically Dominate him. Eddison is not so lucky. Aboleth: KILL THE NONABOLETH The worst thing about that order is that it remains in effect even after Arram parboils and Cerebus eviscerates the abomination. Which is very bad news for the nearly dead Gonno, who managed to summon enough adrenaline to try and knock out the suddenly murderous acid-flinging elf. It didn’t work. Kernel’s attack at least does work, but leaves the elf also nearly dead. Although Cerebus is certainly surprised when he shakes off his Barbarian Rage and sees the situation on shore. He’s also got his own problem - the Aboleth’s slime has made him flabby, translucent, and prone to fatal dehydration. Cerebus OoC: Tell me the Aboleth was swimming over a giant pile of gold and treasure at least? GM: No. Cerebus: Gods DAMMIT Skiri is in the next chamber, being tortured by a giant jellyfish, but not objecting. Given the absolutely incapacitating pain the tentacles inflict while Arram and Cerebus try to get her free, that’s pretty amazing. The jellyfish probably explains the injuries on the incinerated elf. There’s also a goblin, but it has the same flabby look as Cerebus now possesses, and is promptly dispatched anyway. Skiri keeps trying to return to her own torture, and has to be bound. There’s also a naked, blindfolded boy polishing various items in the Aboleth’s treasure chamber. Cerebus: Oh great, the Aboleth was a wierdo. Kernel: We already have three people to carry back to the surface, we’ll come back for him later. At least we’ll have a rough idea how long Aboleth Domination lasts - we just have to wait until Eddison stops trying to kill us. GM: Yeah. FIFTEEN DAYS from now. Cerebus’ transformation is pretty inconvenient too. Cerebus: I have a suspicion I’ll want to wallow in mud when I get back. Arram: Yeah, that’ll probably work, for a while. Gonno OoC: SEA-PIG BORN The blindfolded boy is not merely blindfolded, he’s had his eyes gouged out. And he seems mildly distressed to learn that the elf and the goblin and The Master are gone. Boy: That is everybody I know. At least he doesn’t object to being brought to the surface, in the absence of any orders to the contrary. He’s going to need a lot of deprogramming, and some serious healing. Cerebus: Let’s not do this again for another year. Everybody in Selversgard is keen to learn why Eddison is tied up. Arram: There was a f***ing Aboleth in the bottom of the river. Townsfolk: What’s an aboleth? Arram: They caused Earthfall. Eddison *mumbling through his gag*: Well, an argument between them and some serpentfolk caused Earthfall. Cerebus: Can somebody get this kid some pants? And a Regenerate spell? Gonno: You haven’t even asked him his name yet.

(Sorry for the lack of posts - between the 5 weeks interstate and overseas, and coming home to 12-13hr shifts in 43C heat (109F), we haven't had as many sessions as we'd like, and that's not counting some of the computer issues. Still, I got 21K photos on the trip and roughly 1000 species, so that's nice) Selversgard pt.19 The village of Selversgard continues to expand, at least in population - the actual physical footprint of the town and attached farmland is still constrained by the agreement with the local druids. Silas of the Green, their representative on the town council, has been asked to negotiate for an expansion of the town limits. So we don’t see much of him lately. Skiri Olafsdottir has been spending a lot more time on the river than doing the job she was actually elected for. And Knobroc the gnome is leaving town too - he finds it too boring. Which, to be fair, is a very real health concern for gnomes. Eddison: Yeah, stay colourful. Miya has a problem too - her husband Falx Vandruber has disappeared. Vanished entirely, despite his escort. Eddison: So the Fey got him. And there’s no way to get him back. Arram: No no, it’s all ghosts and werewolves this side of the river. Gonno, Arram, Eddison, and Djeketh head off to find the missing miller. Still, at least we have a few newcomers to town to help with the search, such as the merc from around Magnimar-way who decided to retire and become a farmer away from the big city (and who keeps gets thrown into s*** every few months despite Cerebus' protestations...). Cerberus the Skinwalker Ragebred Standard Barbarian’s player: Well, Mostly a grumpy old Curmudgeon who always refers to himself in the third person and is surprisingly handy with an axe. (I.. uhh.. May just shave off the source character's opinion of women off the sheet though. I'd prefer him to survive character creation and not get murdered by Miya.) Arram OoC: Back to having a second human-looking character in the party, now I'll look less like some kind of minder when we meet new people. At least, he’s human-looking when he isn’t going full Earth-pig Born. Eddison: Wait wait, you actually want me to leave town when there’s a bunch of women that have made their intentions clear? Arram: Eddison, Eddison, we’ve told you before, the Drow are a figment of your imagination. Either that or some Pathfinder’s horny fanfic. Cerberus is an outstanding tracker, that’s for sure, at least as far as Scent goes. Despite the snow he has Falx’s trail immediately. Djeketh can follow from there - he’s an actual Ranger. It would appear he passed near the grove of that dryad we know, so we detour to ask if she saw anything. Dryad: There was a man? He certainly seemed to be driven. And there was something strange about his face. Dryad: I wish you well, but I should warn you. He was heading south, and there is a nymph that lives there. She is not as kindly disposed towards humanoids as I. And nymphs can be dangerous. But if you don’t mind I shall return to my winter sleep. Some discussion of Fey taxonomy ensues - we’ve met a Nereid, but that’s not the same thing as a nymph. Nymphs are the ones that are famed for their beauty. Miya: Ah right, the ones that dance with satyrs, gotcha. Falx’s trail detours around a large bramble patch, so if he IS under an enchantment the enchanter isn’t completely heartless. Jeketh finds another track - something with clawed feet like a bear, but longer and narrower. It’s a full grown owlbear. And it’s tracking Falx. At least Falx has a very good head start - maybe the owlbear will lose interest. Cerberus: DOUBLETIME. Djeketh: Medium-sized at best. I have hunted many bigger. Unfortunately, trudging for hour after hour through snow isn’t exactly conducive to mental health, and exhaustion and the bleak aspect of the countryside leave us quite ill-prepared to spot two raisins on a white page. Of, for that matter, an albino owlbear’s eyes against the white-out. Miya: They’d be adorable if they werent, you know, murder machines. Cerberus attempts to murder the owlbear and gets thoroughly mauled instead. Arram: That’s the problem with smelling of bacon. GM: He has the Disadvantage ‘Delicious’. Arram’s OoC: You should probably put Djeketh on the initiative tracker. Unless he’s just going to watch us get eaten, which is always an option. Cerberus: You mean eat me. Eddison: Well at least the rest of us can run away while it’s eating you. Remind me, who brought snowshoes? Because as per the old adage, I don’t need to outrun the owlbear. Although given we have the sorcerer on magic horse, a Monk, and wizard with Fly, it’s pretty certain which party member is going to be left behind to delay the monster further. Gonno demonstrates his personal martial art style, Boot To The Head, and the owlbear goes down. The barbarian nearly suffered Critical Existence Failure, however, which is definitely going to slow our pursuit of Falx. Djeketh is quite apologetic about missing the monster, but it’s not like the rest of us saw it either - the Earthpig’s sense of smell was our only warning. By the time we catch up with Falx he has almost made it to the big lake far south of Selversgard. Gonno dashes ahead to tackle him before he can drown. He’s not looking too good - he eyes are migrating far apart, his skin is terribly pale, and his ears have shrunk to almost nothing. And it looks like drowning wouldn’t be a problem, since he’s also developing gills. Falx: … Gonno? Gonno: … Sorry. I think I have the wrong guy. Falx: I’m sorry… I have to go. Tell Miya I loved her. Eddison is an aquatic elf, and hails from Magnimar as well, so he knows what’s happened to Falx. He’s turning into a Deep One and is being called home. It certainly explains some of the cards he got in his Harrow Cards reading of the situation. Miya will be doubly horrified if she learns it’s one of her Oracular Curses that triggered the transformation. Falx might have gone his entire life without changing, if he hadn’t slept with the kitsune. It certainly doesn't bode well for the children. Hopefully they’ll lean more towards their mother’s lineage than his. Eddison: If you guys don’t want to do it, I will. He’s too far gone. Gonno: Uh… Arram: It's like he’s developed permanent lycanthropy. If werewolves were fish. At least he won’t be a threat to the village, even after he completes his transformation into Deep One. They live in the deep ocean. Eddison: He’s got a long swim ahead of him. Kernel: If we’re lucky he’ll get eaten by a giant eel. Eddison: Why do I see my job in the village is going to be tracking these bloodlines? Because I’m barely into my second century. Gonno: I’m in shock how ruthless you’re all being about it. Eddison: He’s worm food. Cerberus: I’m just in shock thinking ‘Miya shtupped a fish?’ Arram: OK, neither of you are telling Miya what happened to her husband. Eddison again volunteers to euthanize our friend. Arram: Maaaybe a death that isn’t Dissolve His Face With Acid? Cerberus does the deed, but we cremate Falx’ remains rather than give him a river burial as would be more usual around Selversgard. Cerberus: I don’t want to THINK about Deep One zombies. And Eddison is going to watch the other villagers very suspiciously, and wondering how many of them also have Deep One ancestry. It might even include Cerberus, since Eddison’s researches reveal he was actually adopted from around here. There might actually be other skinwalkers around here! And hopefully not skinwalker/Deep One hybrids. Over the next year other tragedies strike - Gonno and his wife lose their secondborn to illness, and Arram loses his wife and child in childbirth. Arram: I seem to have the darkest fortune when it comes to family. I am down to a single sister. Kernel: Have you checked lately?

Pathfinder : Hell's Rebels : Stone Cold Crazy It’s a pity we’re so busy now the Rebellion has gone overt, because Civilla never got around to investigating what a Soul Anchor is. That sounds important. Terzo’s also been too busy to privately ask Civilla who ‘Cizmerkis’ is, but he’s unlikely to be happy when he finds out. Terzo OoC: You see this? This isn’t my angry face. This is my disappointed face. Rajira OoC: As opposed to his confused face, which we’re used to. Civilla: It can’t have been the Green Hag we killed, I still have her head in a bag. Rajira: This one doesn’t have a head. Civilla: Ah. The reason she HAS the head is probably something else Terzo doesn’t want to know. It might be related to the ‘Founder of Dynasties’ feat Civilla acquired, and her relationship with fellow changeling Shimza. Terzo OoC: So we are going to find out what purestrain Changelings are like? Hopefully nothing like Purestrain Genestealers. The Skinsaw Cult would seem to be a priority, now. Civilla: PEOPLE are DYING. Terzo OoC: Well yes, we’ve got an entire cult of Buffalo Bills running around Kintargo skinning people. Norgorber’s cults are very secretive under the best circumstances, and the worship of Norgorber in his aspect as Father Skinsaw even more so. Happily Civilla can interrogate the city’s bird population for information now, thanks to a spell she learned off the Tengu, and corvids are very bright birds. It would seem the cult is operating out of a building we’re quite familiar with - the Fantasmogorium. At least they won’t have access to the waxwork of Kintargo’s most notorious serial killer - god knows what they could have done with THAT. Of course then there’s the question of what Civilla can do with it. She’s had it in her possession for months. Anyway, time to plan a commando raid. … there are quite a few cultists in the building. GM: Normally they’d come at you in waves, but you just HAD to come to them… At least Terzo has brought a friend - one Bertuscio Corvus, a barrister who has become so incensed by the actions of the Dottari, Hell-knights of the Rack, and the militia in general, that he goes out at night and teaches them a lesson about judicial overreach. With a whip. Although Terzo laughed til he cried when he heard that detail. But refused to explain why it’s so hilarious. Terzo: It’s related to why I trust him. And why neither of us ever got married, actually. Civilla: OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES! And there’s the added advantage that even though Bertuscio is going around as the vigilante The Silver Fox, his actual surname is yet another confounding factor in any divinations seeking the Silver Ravens. Terzo doesn’t know that Bertuscio is actually a Kitsune - there was more than one thing they had long practise at keeping private - but does observe that while Silver Fox is one potential description of Bert, a better one is ‘polar bear’, especially now he’s aged out of his formally ginger Beard of Awesome. Civilla tests the cutists' alertness with Luster the homunculus, and an Invisible Stalker. Civilla’s player: Can Terzo and his… Terzo’s player: Friend. Civilla’s player: Terzo and his ‘friend’ even roll under 6 on a stealth check? Actually I don’t know what the relationship between Ayva and Portia is. Ayva’s player: We’re not partners. Civilla’s player: Oh good, so I don’t have to say ‘the four couples sneak forward’. Actually, I don’t want to know about the cousins. Rajira’s player: Mahat and I are worshippers of Calistria. We can avoid that question. Civilla’s player: I note you said ‘avoid’. Rajira’s player: That’s the advantage of being a follower of Calistria - you always have options. Civilla hits the oblivious cultists with Hungry Earth, the description of which reads: "The ground attempts to pull creatures beneath its surface as if hungry for the flesh of mortals." Ayva: Bloody hell. Civilla: It’s like I said - Everything I do should be more or less terrifying. In fact, a cult that prefers to attack from ambush, in pairs, is completely ill-prepared when surprised by an enemy with the same tactics. Especially when some of us can cast Walls of Fire to stop them running away. And Black Tentacles, so they’re doubly grappled. And on fire. Bertuscio: Part of me is wondering whether this can really be justified as ‘killing in self-defense’ when they’re so thoroughly outmatched. Civilla: This isn’t ‘killing in self-defense’ - it’s ‘killing in defense of the city’. It’s questionable whether the rest of the cultists have even heard the commotion yet. Cultists: Those.. those don’t sound like fun screams. Avya: Don’t we WANT them to run into the killzone? Civilla: We kinda do, actually. Ayva: I’m going to have to do a painting of this soon. As a warning to others. Given some of the tentacles are writhing under the door into the next room and the floor is making disturbing gobbling noises, the other Skinsaw Cultists might be reluctant to rush in. Cultist One: We have to get in there! Cultist Two: You first. One of the cultists we have cornered manages to yell for help. Civilla: What does he yell? GM: Mostly inarticulate screaming at this point. Terzo doesn’t have much to do, other than stroll along after the slaughter and occasionally check over his shoulder in case anybody is about to attack us from behind. Terzo: *somewhat faintly* Well, this seems to be going … well. Given Bert just wrapped his whip around that cultist’s neck and his head came off. Rajira: No it didn’t, he didn’t get a Decap Critical. Terzo: With the amount of blood that just sprayed around the room, does it really matter? Rajira: Not really. Civilla: Don’t worry, in a few seconds the floor will have eaten them and you won’t have to look at it. It’s already eaten most of the prone and screaming cultists. Their friends are probably going to be upset about this, so we’re kind enough to hit them with a Euphoric Cloud. The surviving cultists flee to try to get around behind us. They’ll have to go out the main doors and around the entire building, since we made our own entrance to avoid any such ambushes first. And unlike the party they don’t know the old museum is built like an IKEA with secret passages everywhere for the staff.

Trying to ID dragonflies Weldun and Sundog saw Arram’s player: Six weeks of work and it turns out to have a Twix wrapper caught in an updraft The players have also been discussing cultivating Brown Mold, for its spectacular heat-draining abilities, to make a walk-in freezer or even a refrigerated warehouse. Kernel’s player: kinda icky, but it certainly works… why does it feel like brown mold is an automatic thermal regulator that escaped from one of the crashed spaceships At least we should be able to get back out of the old monastery basement, if we only use the very edge of the stairs out. There’s also a bunch of doors down here that invite checking. Of course nobody bought door spikes or ten-foot-poles, because, as previously noted, we are not adventurers. Happily, the Monastery doesn't seem very monstery, at least for now. The only signs of life down here is the mold that ate the stored food, then starved to death itself. Happily, it wasn’t Brown Mold. Kernel: That’s well beyond Purify Food and Water. Interesting fact, if you cast Purify Food and Water on cheese you still get cheese. Gonno: But what happens if you cast it on Casu Marzu? Skave’s player: *looks up Casu Marzu* DRHOZ. I WAS EATING. The next room used to be someone’s office. Arram: ‘Day 300 - The cult is going well - no one suspects a thing’ Skave: ‘Day 301 - Oh no they found me out. AEIEEE’ Eddison: And yet he had the wherewithal to write that out. There’s a pair of magical climbing gloves in one of the monk’s cells. And some really nice silverware in the kitchen. Eddison OOC: Might be platinum. Or aluminium. Sorry, in fantasy language ‘mithril’. In fact he’s so distracted by the servingware that the dining room full of zombies is a bit of a surprise. Skave: Don’t mind us, we didn’t mean to interrupt your dinner! *slams the door shut again* Arram: We can do some comprehensive looting once we’re sure nothing is trying to kill us. At least we haven’t been attacked by Vargouilles yet. Of course, that might mean the monsters are lurking somewhere in the country around Selversgard. Not that we have any shortage of monsters in the old chapel of the murdered god Aroden - more zombies led by a Zombie Lord. Zombie Lord: You …are not…welcome here. This is … the temple… of our dead Lord. Some frantic in-party communication ensues by way of waggling eyebrows - we decide we can probably get away with a few questions before we have to run. Skave OoC: Knowledge Religion Check, Are there any gestures of supplication for Aroden? Hand movements, Gang Signs? Eddison OoC: GANG SIGNS?! Zombie Lord: Vargouilles… do not concern me. Trespassers… on holy ground…concern me. Eddison: The Vargouilles prey on humans. Zombie Lord: Humanity turned… its back… on our Lord. Only we remain. Eddison: Ah. A cult of Undead worshiping a dead god. Zombie Lord: If you do not leave… then you must stay. Eddison OOC: Another visitor! Stay a while, stay forever! Skave: Okaysorryaboutbotheringyouwe’regoingnow (Quick, bunch them up by the door!) They’re not just zombies, they’re zombie MONKS, and they’ve remembered their Monk abilities, such as Stunning Fist. It’s just as well we have all kinds of special abilities too. Eddison Finally takes down the Zombie Lord with a Mystic bolt, leaving a single zombie writhing in a Web spell. Skave: *Critical fail attempting to shoot an immobilised target with his crossbow* Sigh. Gonno? He’s all yours… Gonno: *flying kick with appropriate Wuxia sound effects* Time to check the upper levels of the monastery. We take considerable care - we don’t want to fall through rotten timber again and plunge through multiple levels until we’re in the basement again. GM: You come across a ruined office. You may make a Perception check. Arram OoC: It’s OK, I like surprises in my life. GM: There is a buzzing sound from the office. Skave OoC: Well, give one to the IT Staff, All this time and the servers are still running! Kernel OoC: It might be a Zombie SysAdmin and we’ll be be f***ed. Unfortunately, it’s wasps. A lot of very angry wasps. Both Skave and Eddison throw Alchemist’s fire flasks at it, to little effect. At least we establish that despite their reputation, wasps are not Evil, because if they were our attacks that do extra damage to Evil things would be more effective. Perhaps the wasps had been provoked by the Vargouilles in the next room. THEY are definitely evil. Skave, Loudly: FINALLY! My mutagen just ran out! Kernel Summons an Aggressive Thundercloud next to one of them. Thundercloud: Grrr. argh! *thunder rumble* Skave Manages to take one out in a single shot. Skave: Wait, what? He’s then promptly paralysed by another’s Shriek. Skave: ZART Gonno intervenes and uses one of the Vargouilles as a Speed Punching Bag, until it explodes. Gonno: WHACKITAWHACKITAWHACKITA - I think I broke it. Skave breathes a sigh of relief as his paralysis fades. Skave: …Is that all of them? Kernel OoC: Famous Last words of a horror movie victim…

Pathfinder : Hell's Rebels : Prog Rock Dinosaur So which of this many jobs should we do first? Civilla’s player: Catch a pokemon, apparently. Terzo’s player: Digimon, surely, with a name like Hetamon. Hetamon Haace is a tailor and proprietor of The Devil's Threads in Kintargo, He also secretly operates a cult dedicated to the goddess Milani known as the Rose of Kintargo. Civilla was left a note from him some time back, urging her to concentrate on making allies rather than the usual revolutionary activities like assassinating arch-dukes or writing out Romani ite domum one hundred times. We check at the Devil’s Threads, but the building is shuttered up. There’s no sign of forced entry. It would seem Hetamon went to the Masquerade and didn’t come back. Lictor Octavio of the Order of the Rack suggests we use an improved version of the Locate Person spell, that the Order of the Rack used to great effect when seeking kidnap victims. It seems Hetamon is underneath the ruins of the Silver Star. Shensen’s ears certainly prick up - the Silver Star was her music shop and home, and one of the first buildings destroyed by Thrune’s agents. She wants to come with us, not least because she wants to see what happened to her home, but because she’s worried about her dinosaur. At least we have all those Hats of Disguise the devils at the Opera House were wearing. Terzo: So…a dinosaur you say? Shensen: Yes, his name is Guttugger. Terzo: I was under the impression that dinosaurs are generally… large… animals? Shensen tells us she had an escape tunnel prepared - hopefully it’s still intact. Ayva: … sigh, we’re going through the sewers again. Terzo: So…you’re absolutely sure we can get this dinosaur of yours out through the sewers? Shensen: … he’ll be fine. Erubdiya? Are you here? Terzo: How many dinosaurs do you have down here? Erubdiya is actually a Slime Naga - a 30ft long snake with the head of an old man. Rajira and Mahat bow deeply, while Terzo tries to get his heart rate under control. The Naga is pleased, but surprised to see us here - apparently Shensen’s old hideout is now occupied by the Naga’s new friend. Shensen: Ah.. new friend? There’s still some stuff of mine that I need to pick up. And there’s apparently someone that’s been bought here? The Naga immediately attacks her. Shensen is surprised by this. Terzo: So am I - my adrenaline was already spiking, I’m not sure how much more excited I can be. Shensen apparently concludes that her Naga friend is under some kind of enchantment, and attempts a Countersong - the mind control promptly vanishes. She’s a very good singer. Erubdiya: Shensen? There you are, old girl, how have you been? Rajira: You do remember what happens under a compulsion spell. Terzo: Yes, but they’re not a YOUNG Naga. Erubdiya: Wait.. Shensen? You have to get out of here, your hideout’s been taken over by some sword-wielding bat winged b***h. Apparently the b***h is a half-succubus named Natsiel, who wanted to corrupt Shensen’s shrine to Sarenrae. Rajira: That’s OK, I have an entire temple to Calistria. You should see how we dress it up on the High Holy Days. Apparently the half-succubus also kidnapped her son. Rajira: Shensen’s son? Erubdiya: No, Natsiel’s son. Rajira:.. What? Terzo: Quarter-succubus, presumably. Wait, this son isn’t named Hetamon, is he? Erubdiya: That’s him! Rajira: … alrighty then. Let’s get in there and kill her. It would appear that Hetamon isn’t the only person Natsiel has been enchanting and bringing down here - Strea Vestori, of the Tiefling Rights organisation we helped with that Tooth Fairy problem months ago, is down here under the same sort of compulsion Erubdiya was under. Terzo breaks that one. Terzo: There's all kinds of ways to use countermelodies, contrapuntal themes, and deliberate dissonance to unravel an enchantment. But I can think of a much simpler way to derail a compulsion spell, using a musical trigger that's much stronger. SWEET CAROLIIIINE. Strea: Ba Ba BAA-wait, what? Where am I? Once Strea realizes where she is, she tries to flee, but we grab her before she accidentally alerts the half-succubus. Apparently Natsiel is mid-ritual to turn somebody into a guardian for the desecrated temple. We split up to attack the ritual room from two directions, preparing to keep the Hags and fiend off their feet and otherwise disabled, and if necessary Countersong from both ends of the shrine. Ayva: A bard at both ends is a good idea. Rajira: And sounds extremely rude. The secret shrine to Sarenrae has been thoroughly desecrated and redecorated in honour of Mestama, the Mother of Witches and Demon-lord of Hags. There’s the body of a Green Hag floating in the once sacred pool. Terzo: Isn’t that the green hag we killed earlier? Rajira: Yes. Terzo: Did we ever find out if they were related to Civilla or not? The GM starts setting up a Green Hag miniature. Rajira: Greener than normal, they’ve been dead for weeks. GM: No no, these are the ones that are still alive. Rajira: … Ah. Jealous of the dead one, they’re not as green GM: Ayva Used Surf! It was Super Effective! The half-succubus turns invisible, but only long enough for Terzo to hit her with Glitterdust. The now shiny fiend glares murderously at the poet. Terzo: Just thought I’d Zhoosh you up a bit. One of the hags, bloodied, beaten nearly to a pulp, and prone, decides her best course of action is to turn into a tree. Her spell fizzles. It was probably a terrible idea anyway - Terzo was planning on setting them all on fire with Blistering Invective next. GM: Did you just use Surf AGAIN. Ayva: Of course I did, it’s Super Effective Once her allies are dead and the corpse floating in the sacred pond pretty much pulped, Netsiel rolls herself into a Dimension Door and escapes. Terzo: What a pity, I was going to criticize her decoration choices. Avya: Don’t do that, some of them might be Shensen’s. ‘This picture is so tacky’ ‘’that’s one of mine’ ‘-but in a delightful way’ Civilla destroys the corpses with her Wand of Decompose Corpse. That should ensure the ritual can never be attempted in future. Then we all help Shensen clean the chapel and set up the reconsecration. And find Hetamon, who does not enjoy a good relationship with his mother. Hetamon Haace: You didn’t kill her, did you? Rajira: No - she teleported away. Hetamon: Grr. Well, next time. Rajira’s player: Tailor - check. Spy - check. Despised species - check. Manipulated by a parent - check. When did Garak become part of our Pathfinder game? We also find Shensen’s dinosaur, who had barricaded himself into one of the other rooms, and bursts out and pounces onto Shensen. Terzo: *eyeing the Deinonychus’ four-inch disemboweling claws.* Ah. That’s why you called it Guttugger. Shensen: Yes! Ayva: *eyeing the Deinonychus that’s babbling in Elvish.* Ah. It’s an AWAKENED Deinonychus. Rajira: That’s horrifying. GM: No major comments about Shensen Having a freakin' Deinonychus Companion with the personality of a freakin Guilmon? Terzo OoC: Oh, I have Thoughts about it - I’m just too polite to say them out loud The gear Shensen had hidden down here includes an application of Stone Salve. GM: The Irony is NOT lost on her. Ayva: She has the salve because she insists on using a Rod of Wonder which can turn people to stone. Or as happened during the fight, summon a mouse instead of the enraged rhinoceros you would have preferred. At least Netsiel was Blinded pretty much from the moment we burst into the room - she won’t be reporting what we look like to her superiors. And now we’ve pretty much secured Jarvis End for the Rebellion - certainly the Tiefling population of Kintargo are ready to support us in any way they can.

Selversgard Pt.18 Gonno’s player: It’s a pretty odd-looking weevil, but it has a certain charm. But then, weevils are highly charismatic insects. 22nd of Kuthona, the day after the Winter Solstice. A very cold, but also very dry, winter. So lacking in snowfall, in fact, that Selversgard’s lumber interests have continued working well into the month since transporting the lumber is so easy. Eddison is at work at the Drowned Carp when somebody comes in looking for Mother Maybell - she isn’t in her office. Eddison suggests checking by the river - the River of Souls is a major feature of the Golarion afterlife. Apparently somebody at the logging camp is extremely ill. The aquatic elf suggests he try asking Silas of the Green next - he seems to know half the stuff that happens in Selversgard. Eddison finds Mother Maybell first - she’s talking to a tall black man holding a spear taller than he is. Skave’s player: Asking for context - Black as in African, or Black as in Salamander Space Marine? Eddison’s player: I was about to ask the same thing - chocolate or sable? The newcomer is one Djeketh. He’s going to need a room. Djeketh: Pleasure to meet you. Eddison: Believe me that feeling will pass. Eddison passes on the news about the problem at the camp. Apparently disturbing things are happening to the head of the patient. Mother Maybell: Well, let’s go past my office to collect my things and we’ll head out there. Eddison: We? Mother Maybell: I’m not going out there by myself. Eddison: *sigh* I know, I know - It’s just ‘refusing the call’ bubbling up again. At least he can send somebody to fetch Arram and Skave. Skave: You want me to leave the Warren? In the middle of *winter*? We built central heating into the place for a REASON. The patient is there. His head isn’t. Gonno OoC: That seems inconvenient. According to the other lumberjacks, the man was complaining of feeling unwell, and his ears started growing. When they went to check on him, his head was gone. There are definite signs of disease and stress on the remains. Gonno OoC: A really really bad migraine? Skave recognises the symptoms - the missing head is pretty distinctive. The unfortunate man was kissed by a Vargouille, grotesque flying heads with bat-like wings, originally from the Lower Planes. Skave: Oof, No wonder. Poor guy got a face full of Outsider Wing-Wong. Vargouilles can also be Summoned, with distressing ease. It’s just as well they can only transform humanoids into more vargouille or Golarion would be overrun with them. But how did he get Kissed without him or anybody else noticing? He must have been a very deep sleeper. If they’re smart enough to chew holes in the back of tents, and can infect people that are merely sleeping, everybody in the camp and back in Selversgard is in danger. Skave: Welp, I’m done, I’m going home. Arram: No you’re not, get back here. Gonno’s player: Doesn’t the Warren have ventilation shafts? As part Outsider themselves, Gonno and his wife might be immune, but it’s not worth the risk of finding out. Eddison: I’d rather be wrong about them NOT being immune, than be wrong about thinking they are. How do Vargouille reproduce in the Lower Planes anyway? Is there some kind of indigenous humanoid there? Or is it like salmon reproducing far upstream, and they can only multiply after some idiot summons them to the Material Plane? And since they can turn a victim into another Vargouille in less than a day, we have to find and exterminate them all before a small problem becomes a very very big one. Eddison: That’s the problem with geometric progression - you either deal with it early or you’re done. On the material plane, these monsters usually occupy graveyards, ancient battlefields, or anywhere one can find remnants of death and decay. There aren’t many places that match that description around Selversgard, with the possible exception of the abandoned monastery of Aroden. Arram, Eddison, and Skave send a runner back to town to warn everybody, and fetch Gonno. GM: You’d probably like Miya here too, but she’s a bit waddly at the moment. At least there’s one person at the logging camp who is almost certainly immune to the Varguoille’s Kiss, and Scream. Because he’s made of wood. Kernel is a wizard, an engineer, and a Wyrwood. Wyrwoods are self-replicating constructs created by a cadre of argumentative wizards who clearly hadn’t heard all the stories about such constructs developing free will and a very understandable grudge. Not that he has a grudge against the people of Selversgard - he’s very cheerful and friendly. Gonno OoC: So, roughly, how many races out there exist because wizards wanted obedient slaves but hadn't heard of the Three Laws of Robotics? I'm not even going to try to count all the races that exist because humans can't keep it in their pants. Eddison’s player: I really want to get Kernel a Khakkhara. That way I can call him Kernel Clink. Skave leaves a few bottles of Polypurpose Panacea and Mwangian Marching Powder with the logging camp’s guards, just in case. Skave: Be very careful with the powder, it’ll give you the jitters… Eddison: Or, you know, you could just give them coffee. Gonno OoC: Surely coffee is the base ingredient of the Panacea. When Gonno gets the note, his eyebrows practically climb off his head, but he sets out almost immediately. Not happily, but he’s the only person in Selversgard who can travel fast enough to get back to the logging camp before dark. Gonno: Once the sun gets below the mountains I am in considerable danger. Eddison: Vargouilles have no problem with sunlight. Gonno: F***. That’s worse. Indeed, it is worse - because he fails his Perception and his Stealth checks, and falls in a giant trapdoor spider pit. Happily, there's only a spider in the pit, and not a vargouille. He pulps it, and continues on his way. Eddison: Is that silk on your fists? Gonno: *nods, but doesn’t look happy about it* At least everybody in the party has darkvision - a definite advantage if we don’t want to be surprised by Vargouilles swooping down on us in the dark. The ruins are roughly rectangular, and accompanied by some smaller outbuildings. The stonework is the only thing remaining after two hundred years. Skave hands out some useful potions and unguents, just in case. Arram remembers what he can of the layout, based on that map he found years ago - the main building definitely has a basement level, which we intend to check first. Edison casts Continual Flame on one of the torches Gonno brought with him. We stick close to each other - the Vargouille’s Scream has such a large area of effect that splitting up is unlikely to help. Unfortunately, we don’t even get to the main building, before skeletal limbs start clawing their way out of the thick undergrowth surrounding the old challenge circle. Skave: …. That is a lot of zombies…. *watching in increasing alarm* HOW MANY ZOMBIES ARE THERE. Eddison OoC: Look at it this way - more XP. At least zombies are slow - we leg it for the exit to the compound, although Arram gets hamstrung by one as he leads the retreat. Skave: Ysoki super secret special move: RUN! Unfortunately Continual Flame can’t ignite all the tinder-dry undergrowth. Gonno’s player: I think we’re going to be relying on Arram and Skave’s pyromania for a bit. We continue to withdraw, until the mass of zombies has been lured into one solid mass. Then we start applying our own Area Attacks. Or Flurry of Blows with his new Pummeling Style in the case of Gonno. Skave: He poked it a few times and it exploded. Eddison OoC: Ah, Fist of the North Star, got it. Gonno OoC: You are Already Dead. Skave OoC: Well yeah, it’s a zombie? We cautiously search the remains and the yard, but all we find is a slightly enchanted garden rake. Kernel: Someone made a +1 rake? Eddison: Monks are weird. The monk that decided to meditate himself to death in one of the outbuildings probably was anyway. At least Arram and Skave recall enough about the religious practices of the church of Aroden that they can recommend proper funeral rites. We enter the main building, seeking the basement, whereupon Gonno promptly falls through the rotten floor. Gonno: I’VE FOUND THE BASEMENT. Arram: Well, I’m not leaving him down there on his own. Down I go. Eddison: Sensible people move away from the danger. *Jumps down* Skave: Come on, this is how you do it! *jumps in, lands directly on his tail* OW F***! Professional adventurers probably wouldn’t all injure themselves falling or jumping into a ruined basement likely infested with Vargouilles. But as we’ve made abundantly clear over the last few years, we are not professional adventurers.

Chronicles of Selversgard Pt.17 - In which the PCs continue to apply various adventurer-level skills to very local problems. 8th of Erastus, a ferociously hot and unpleasantly humid day with thunderstorms looming. Even the swarms of insects are subdued by the heat. With the solstice past, the Mayorship has rotated to Skiri Olafsdottir, to the relief of some. One of her first duties was giving the Fishermens Guild’s new huge pinnace a try. After the ogre attack, a moat is proposed as an addition to the town’s defenses - a dry moat outside the palisade. Arram: That’s not going to be a dry moat for long. Which is one reason the ratfolk are annoyed - when it fills up with water it’ll increase flooding risk in the Warren. And the farmers that work outside the palisade are keenly aware that it doesn’t protect them. When pressed, Silas of the Green admits that a moat will help delimit the town. Arram instead suggests proper watchtowers and a better gate. Eddison has been selling a lot of drinks to people trying to escape the heat, when a tall and aristocratic elf with an entire entourage of elven servants enters, laden down with luggage. Eddison: Welcome, welcome to the Drowned Carp, how may I be of service? Tovura Angleterre: Unless I am very much mistaken, my good sir, you are the very person I’m looking for. Eddison: *checks that his escape route is clear* Ah, how exactly? Tovura Angleterre: I am seeking to complete the family tree. Eddison is skeptical he can be of much help - the guy is clearly not of Aquatic Elf heritage, and Eddison was raised by Forlorn elves, but rents him three rooms and suggests he retire to the deck if he is having trouble with the heat. Eddison: He seems remarkably well off for somebody related to Forlorn elves. He must be a distant cousin at best. Of course half the town is already gossiping about it. Mikki is one of them, but it’s not like she’ll be doing any exotic dancing in this weather. Mikki: I heard you had an interesting visitor. Eddison: I’m still trying to figure out his angle. Arram: Gossip - the only thing that travels faster than light. Gonno, Galiante and the kids are enjoying a meal there - it’s too hot to cook at home. He’s looking after the kids and trying to ignore the hand gestures Mikki and Galiante are making as they converse about their current and previous careers. Arram: It’s always nice to get together when we’re not in life threatening danger. The weather finally breaks with a massive crack of thunder and sudden torrential rain, to general acclaim. Arram: We can literally see the humidity falling. Miya: Once a teacher, always a teacher. About 9PM Tovura staggers in, soaked to the bone. At least he’s smiling, as he wrings out his beret. Arram offers to magically wring him out, but the elf declines, clutches a symbol around his neck, and is instantly dry. Edison identifies the symbol as one of the lesser symbols of Nethys, the god of magic. Gonno, on the other hand, notes that his shirt is a button-up, and clearly looked after - but mis-buttoned. Exactly what Tovura been doing out in the rain for the last few hours? Spending some time at the Yellow House, perhaps? The rain is getting even heavier, but the temperature has dropped to something tolerable. With all of Tovura’s servants downstairs eating, Eddison pops upstairs to check that all the shutters are closed properly. Hopefully the rain isn’t heavy enough to finally collapse the huge antediluvian dam at Skull’s Crossing. Arram: Just as well we didn’t dig that moat. Miya: Does anybody else hear an apocalyptic rumble? Eddison: There’s a chance we’d feel the pressure wave coming. Wouldn’t help us survive, of course. Arram: I don’t know Fly yet. Miya: Just as an aside, exactly how watertight are those Ysoki tunnels? The rain and wind is now strong enough to drown out most of the conversation, when Arram hears something else. ARRAM. HOUSE COLLAPSED. TRAPPED IN BASEMENT. WATER RISING. Arram: Oh crap, that’s a Sending. That’s Sennsa - nobody else in town has that in their spellbook. We pile out of the Drowned Carp and wade through the storm to the half-ruined brothel. Gonno directs a few people to shore up the most dangerous parts of the wreckage, and dashes off to fetch proper timber from his stores. Arram and Eddison add some Glue and Web spells to further secure it. Mikki, tending to the wounded, says that Sennsa and Bertie, one of the boys of the house, were down in the basement fetching wine when it all came down. Eddison’s picked up enough engineering skill over the decades to realise that the collapsed section is the only thing still propping up the rest of the building. It would appear the combination of wind and rain did a number on some of the piles supporting the building - piles that it turns out are rotten through. Tovura and his servants arrive - they apparently grabbed every shovel and pickaxe from the town stores. Miya bolts off to the Ysoki tunnels to fetch their help with rat-wrangling and digging - rats can explore the wreckage and remove small debris. GM: A fox returns to the Yellow House followed by a literal horde of rats, some of which are Ysoki. Eddison keeps an eye on Tovura’s reaction - he doesn’t seem to LIKE rats, but he welcomes the help. Gonno’s rival carpenter is also at work, shoring up the building - Gonno gets directions on which section to do next. This is no time for rivalry. We find Bertie first - he’s trapped, but not seriously injured. Shivering though, which is hardly surprising given he was wearing a loincloth. Tovura: My dear boy! *hurries the lad off to shelter* Miya, still in fox form, dives into the basement as soon as we can access it, and gets her fox-senses immediately overwhelmed by the smell of spilt wine. She finds Sennsa - impaled by fallen timber, pinned to the ground, and in imminent danger of drowning. Miya yells for help, and Arram tries to wriggle down the tunnel - but it’s too tight for a full-sized human. Tovura offers a flask - Oil of Grease. Eddison: Mikki! Mikki! Mikki: What? Eddison: We need to Grease you up! Mikki: Normally I’d be all for that but I’m not sure it’s an appropriate time! Arram Greases himself up, and has two Unseen Servants pull on his hands as Eddison pushes on his feet, and pops into the basement like a cork from a bottle. The greased sorcerer arrives when Miya has already chipped half the beam away with an Adamantine weapon. Miya: Oh hi. Little help? Arram: Sure - Bull’s Strength. Arram: Sorry, this is going to suck *heaves the weight off Sennsa and the impaling timber out of her body* Sennsa: *screams and faints* Magic stops the bleeding but there’s still the issue that some of her intestines are on the outside. Eddison: One problem at a time! Getting the stabilised madam out of the ruin out through the tunnel is a whole new problem - if Miya still wanted to conceal the fact that she’s a Kitsune, it’s going to be a bit difficult after this night’s work. Her fox form gets a lot of use, even before the water level is up to waist height. Reduce Person is required, too. At least the brothel had plenty of oil - lavender-scented, no less. Eddison: Well Arram you’re going to get greased up again - unfortunately it’s going to be the old-fashioned way. Roger at the Blue Dragon hands out free beer to the exhausted rescue workers. Most of the Yellow House’s staff can recover their belongings and work gear from the ruins the next day - unfortunately the wine collection is a complete loss. We’ll have to inspect most of the other buildings in town to check them wood-rot too. But the biggest question is ‘do we rebuild the Yellow House’ - there are plenty of people who never liked it. Tovura walks in, wearing another completely different outfit. Eddison: My god, he really is a peacock. Tovura: I have news from your Mother Maybell, I believe is her name. She tells me she is injured but will make a full recovery. Eddison: Got all her guts back on the inside, then? Tovura: I do have a few more questions about your parentage, Eddison, but I believe I saw most of what I needed to learn last night. Eddison: Hmmm??? You’re going to have to be blunt, I am very tired. Tovura is part of a very large and very widespread family - elven nobility no less, as well as being a follower of Nethys. He wasn’t even aware he had any Aquatic elf relatives. The fact that Eddison was raised by two generations of the Forlorn is not so surprising - there are quite a few generationally depressed elves on the family tree. But his search has been related to his symbol of Nethys - apparently there has been an Augury that something very bad is going to happen to Kyonin, the homeland of elves on Golarion. Gonno’s player: I wouldn’t trust an Augury, what with prophecy broken after the death of the god Aroden - if it wasn’t a prophecy that came via Nethys. He cheats - he looks into parallel universes where everything happened a few minutes earlier. Eddison: I am no adventurer. Tovura: I know. You’re a barkeep. Eddison: … ExCUSe mE? BarKEep?? BARKEEP? I am no tavern-owner, I am a CHEF! Tovura: My apologies - you're a chef. Tovura retires to rest, after getting a very tentative offer of future help if Eddison can’t possibly avoid it. He’ll have to send a lot of letters to people first. Eddison: We’re elves, we don’t make decisions quickly. Eddison is more concerned that Mikki has apparently been snorting the Mwangian Marching Powder to keep herself going all night. The next Council meeting has to take place at the Fishermans Guildhall above the Fisherman’s Arms, because the roof of the town hall is leaking like a sieve. The only item of business is The Situation. Some of the council think the disaster is a good reason to replace the Yellow House with a more aesthetically pleasing building - a converted warehouse may have been all Sennsa could afford, originally, but it was still a bit of an embarrassment. They even propose an interest-free loan to help them rebuild. Miya: Very community minded. GM: The Council is actually fairly flush with cash. It just has a knee-jerk reaction to the idea of spending money. They also support the idea of planting a small orchard of fruit trees on the site - it’s been waste ground for too long, even before other businesses started avoiding proximity to the brothel. The Council eventually agree to poll the townsfolk as to which kinds of fruit tree would be preferred - it saves them the trouble of arguing the benefits of apples vs. damsons, for example. They also think somebody should be appointed Building Inspector, so we don’t get a repeat. Probably Gelbert. Gelbert: I’m pretty good at engineering myself - Dad taught me everything I know. Arram: Will you need any help? Gonno has worked with wood longer than most of the people here have been alive. Skiri Olafdottir: Gonno, would you be able to help with the timber inspection? Gonno: *blinks surprised, looks thoughtful, smiles and shrugs* Gelbert: I think that’s a yes. Miya: Gonno is a man of many talents and few words. Hopefully they can get the town hall reroofed promptly, as well. Skiri Olafsdottir: I would rather have our next meeting in a place that doesn’t smell of salmon. Arram: Well, I have that meeting room at Tolland Manor that i'm not using for anything else - Wait, aren’t you the representative from the Fisherman’s Guild? Skiri: I make the boats, not catch the fish. Gonno does find a building that’s in danger of collapsing and needs immediate rebuilding. His own. Embarrassing. Although, it is one of the oldest buildings in town, and adding the second story has exacerbated some problems. Eddison attracts some complaints for providing accommodation for some of the prostitutes, although his reaction takes the wind out of the bluenoses’ sails. Eddison: Yes, and? And over the next few months we discover that Miya is pregnant again - she’ll definitely have to retire from adventuring now. It’s also surprising just how fecund Selversgard’s interspecies relationships are proving to be. Between the kitsune and her sawmill-owner human husband, and the oread and his tiefling wife, the town is certainly giving the middle finger to genetic incompatibility. Gonno ooC: "how is babby formed? How girl get pragnent?" Miya: Apparently marry someone who is good with their logs. Or be Gonno. Eddison: Yeah, he knows how to get his rocks off.

Onto the fourth book of the Hell's Rebels adventure path : While the Great and Good of Kintargo were about to be the stars of the Ruby Massacre, the bulk of Thrune’s forces were launching raids on the rest of the city. The entire city is on lockdown - every district with the exception of Old Kintargo has a heavy boot on its neck. Fortunately one of our safehouses is close enough for us to reach from the Opera House. And if the rebellion can hold Old Kintargo and keep money coming in, we can hold it indefinitely. Of course Thrune has put out his own version of events - he denies he was ever at the Opera House. And there might be some questions circulating regarding our version of Nox, if the real Nox was hauled out onto the stage on the night of the Masquerade. That, however, is easily dealt with. Rebellion Rumourmongers: Really. The ‘real’ Nox. After Thrune had a small army of disguised fiends in the audience. AND a body double because he’s too much of a coward to show up in person. And we’re supposed to believe that was the ‘real’ Nox. It’s hardly the best time to be bringing a child into the world, but Civilla’s friend Shimza is expecting. Ayva: Congratulations! Who’s the father? Civilla: That would be me. All: … Ayva: I have questions. Civilla: So do I - such as ‘What is a second generation Changeling going to be like?’ Thrune has released three new Proclamations onto the city. And a dragon. Ayva: I’m sorry, let’s focus on that one, shall we, because I couldn’t give a flying f*** about the proclamations. Rivozair is a blue dragon who has menaced the Chelish city of Kintargo off and on for decades. She is most famous for losing the last battle against the city's Silver Ravens before House Thrune reclaimed the city in 4640 AR. in fact everybody was pretty sure she was dead. Civilla suggests we find out whatever the dragon wants most, and bribe her loyalty away from Thrune. It’s a known problem when you try and use a weapon that’s also superintelligent. Unfortunately Thrune has also thought of that and had Rivozair devil-bound. That confirms the rumour that a blue dragon with a pentagram carved into its chest was seen on the roof of the Opera House. Rajira: So we just have to remove her flight capabilities and kill her. Ayva: I don’t think I have a net big enough. Proclamation the Eleventh—Bleakbridge Closure: “With the uprise in rebel activity, it pains my heart to issue the closure of Bleakbridge to all but official traffic, yet such steps are necessary to ensure your protection! The Silver Ravens must not be allowed free access across the Yolubilis, and until you aid in their defeat, Bleakbridge shall remain closed and under guard.” Proclamation the Twelfth—Public Religion: “Public worship of any deity other than Lord Asmodeus, Savior of Cheliax, Master of Humanity, is hereby forbidden. All works of art and artifice bearing the likenesses or symbols of the lesser faiths must be turned over to the dottari. Worship of Zon-Kuthon, Abadar, and Shelyn may continue only within the walls of their respective temples. Noncompliance shall be met with the strictest of correctional steps.” Proclamation the Thirteenth—Outlawing of the Silver Ravens: “The destructive and ruinous anarchists known as the Silver Ravens are hereby proscribed, and until their leaders surrender or are captured, all Silver Raven sympathizers must disavow support of this extremist group, lest they be faced with fines, imprisonment, and excruciation!” Of course the Wanted Posters are mostly blank, since he has no idea who has actually been causing him all these problems - for that matter we’re the Ghosts of Kintargo not the Silver Ravens - and even if they try to ID us from our costumes at the Masquerade they’re not going to get anywhere since most of the costumes were magical creations anyway. At least we have options. Such as ensuring any blackshirts or Dottari that come into Old Kintargo don’t get out alive. Retaking the Bleakbridge would also prove a point, although Thrune does have air superiority in the form of that bloody dragon. Ayva’s player: At least we didn’t kill the main bad guy in the first week - we’ve done that before. Civilla’s player: True. Terzo’s player: At least Barzillai Thrune is a competent villain. Civilla’s player: That’s a low bar. It’s such a low bar that it’s a tripping hazard in Hell. Every day Thrune sends out his troops and minions to terrorise the citizenry. If we’re going to defang him we’d better retake the rest of the city as quickly as possible, before he can organise additional reprisals. There’s only so many people in Kintargo and we can’t afford to lose many. Molly Mayapple, one of our contacts on Vyre Island, arrived in Kintargo on the night of the Masquerade, and was on her way to find us when one of Thrune’s Erinyes identified her as someone sufficiently Good to be a target. It’s fortunate for the 81-year-old halfling that she’s absolutely lethal with her hand crossbow. The ‘rebel sympathizers’ that get doghoused the next day are less fortunate, although we managed to get a warning to half of them before the Dottari kicked their doors in. And the day after that the barricades around Old Kintargo get stormed. The militia get kicked back, but there are still casualties. Worse, the blue dragon torches a building full of suspected sympathizers. On the other hand, we completely thwart one of Thrune’s attempted reprisals. He responds by keeping more blackshirts out on the streets, not that it matters to us because half his blackshirts are secretly on our side. And that respite gives us time to get Shensen de-petrified. She’s certainly a welcome face at the next meeting of the Ghosts of Kintargo. She’s brought along a friend - Chuko 'Sharp Beak and Hooks' a tengu who runs a weapon shop for adventurers. The Rose of Kintargo, actual professional rebel and cultist of Milani, was supposed to be at the meeting, but never arrived. Worrying. Also worrying is the news Molly Mayapple brought us - Thrune has hired the Skinsaw Cult, murderously insane one and all, to keep people off the streets. There’s also some surprise reveals that wouldn’t be out of place in one of Kintargo’s more histrionic operas - three of the real Silver Ravens are still alive. Jackdaw is a prisoner of Thrune. The other two are Shensen and Jilia Bainilus. Terzo: THe F***?!?!?! But now that the rebellion has gone overt, we suddenly have a whole bunch of new problems requiring our immediate attention. This includes Shensen’s urgent request that we secure the Opera House. Because there’s a ritual the Silver Ravens invented - a Song of Silver that infuses potent magical effects into both the city and the Silver Ravens themselves. The sheet music and material ritual components for the spell are contained within the opera house, within a vault that even Barzillai could not penetrate. However, to stop the House of Thrune from gaining control over the spell when Kintargo finally fell to Chelaxian forces, all members bar Jackdaw had the lyrics of the song, a key component of the spell, magically wiped from their minds before going underground. The other Silver Ravens assumed Jackdaw had died in 4640AR, but Jilia and Shensen's discovery of Jackdaw's survival gave them short-lived hope - which Barzillai crushed with vampirism and petrification, respectively. And, of course, we should find out what happened to Hetamon Haace, the Rose of Kintargo. Some tactical advice from a devotee of the Goddess of Rebellion wouldn’t go astray right now. At least we know there’s a back entrance to the Kintargo Records Hall where his inquisitors toil to rewrite Kintargo’s history, and where many important public records have presumably been hidden - we might finally figure out why Thrune has gone to this incredible amount of effort to control what is honestly a not very important city on the edge of the Chellish empire. And of course there’s the Skinsaw Cult. And rescuing Jackdaw from beneath Kintargo Keep. And the Bleakbridge Blockade. At least we have an ‘in’ there - Chuko’s younger brother Ravzee and Ravzee’s gang, the River Talons have been hired by the soldiers there as enforcers. They should be much easier to turn to our side than Rivozair the Blue Dragon. Speaking of whom, we have a potential way to deny Thrune air superiority - have Civilla summon an Air Elemental or a Couatl to keep the dragon constantly engaged in dogfights over the city - the more time Rivozair wastes on that, the fewer buildings (and their occupants) are going to be burned to the ground. We can probably afford to summon either, although Couatls tend to be cheaper since they’re Good-aligned and less likely to charge a ‘help help help save us from this dragon’ premium. Terzo: And since we have actual Silver Ravens here, we can ask them how they beat her last time. Civilla: Probably because they had all the Silver Ravens. It’s not that difficult to defeat a dragon, if you can get enough destructive potential in one spot.

Eddison has built his new riverside eatery ‘The Drowned Carp’, incorporating enough living timber into the building to assuage the local druids. Eddison: I’ll have this paid off in about 1 and a half years. Gonno OoC: Or we can just go mug an adventurer. Other construction around town includes greenhouses to provide fresh greens out of season, and a second story on Gonno’s cottage. Of course, as a master carpenter he prefabricated everything he’d need and assembled most of it during a spell of nice weather. His rival, no doubt sick with jealousy every time he looks out his window, is unlikely to be that well-prepared. Especially since the winter, when it comes, is a harsh one. Nobody goes outside if they can help it, which makes the alarm bell at the town gate quite a surprise for everybody. Skave: I’m going to go stop whatever is making that noise - I have sensitive ears you know. The bell is still swinging when we get to the gate, but there's nobody on the palisade. And there’s screaming coming from the nearest house. A misshapen and hideous humanoid with an overly large arm and halberd is trying to cart off one of Arram’s students. That one we curbstomp promptly, but the one in the next room has a crossbow. The bolt lodges in the wall, but only after it’s gone right through Gonno’s chest and out the other side. And there are two further Ogrekin in the building. The man of the house has been comprehensively butchered - the woman of the house is not that lucky. At least these monsters are stupid enough to be staying in town long enough to attempt that rather than immediately retreating with their captives. Hopefully we can exterminate them all promptly. Arram incinerates two of them. Skave: Young, Dumb, and Full of Mutations. Gonno uses some of his growing monk powers (that he does not, in fact, realise he has) to race around the building to the back door - and discovers there’s a two-story tall ogre outside Selversgard’s gate. Gonno might not be the most loquatious of people, but happily this can be summed up with two sylables. Gonno: GIANT!!!! The remaining Ogrekin is annoyed that it can’t escape with the little girl it has seized, and runs Gonno through the chest AGAIN. Skave throws him a healing potion and Gonno knees the Ogrekin in the fork. Luckily for us, the really big ogre is heading away from the village. Miya and Arram deal with it, while Skave and Gonno whittle the Ogrekin down to Dead. Unfortunately the Istven brothers in the next building are dead, and their wives are missing. Miya: Where the hell are the militia? The militia on the palisade are probably dead, given the amount of blood dripping down the wall. The missing heads are certainly a factor in that conclusion. We inform the next lot of villagers what’s happened and head off in pursuit of the orgekin’s raiding party. Hopefully Kragor and the rest of the militia can deal with any other monsters still lingering around town. Miya transforms into her fox form and scouts ahead of us - the giant ogre has shrunk back to normal ogre size. Further on, the ogre camp is disgustingly slovenly - at least they’re theoretically easy to follow in the snow. But it appears they had improvised a bridge across a ravine and destroyed it as they retreated. The raging winter torrent is going to be a problem too. Arram improvises a bridge using Web and random debris. The ogres seem to have gathered on top of a hill, following a spiral path up to a grotto. Their captives are alive, but one of the ogrekin is dead and hanging mutilated from chains. Gonno has some alarming thoughts about that Kyton we sent off into the Cinderlands. The Ogre priest (no doubt the same one that Enlarged the orge earlier) is sitting bloody-handed on a rough-hewn throne. Skave provides a Blur potion for the party’s melee specialist (if Gonno was a spell caster his favorite spell would be Fist) and the rest of the party provide ranged support. Happily, Arram Blinds the priest and another with his first spell. That’s good news for Gonno, who otherwise might have to run forward into combat with four ogres, one of them a magic-user. The priest uses his own throne as cover and starts casting spells on himself, and the third fumbles blindly for a potion, as the fourth Ogre nearly impales Gonno AGAIN. It then attacks in person, and gets Arram To The Face. Gonno doesn’t even need to counterattack as it’s reduced to a flaming skeleton. Skave(OOC): I love the sound of someone rolling 8d4. Arram(OOC): *9*d4. The one fumbling for a potion takes a deep swig and keels over dead, since it grabbed the flask of Poison instead of Cure Moderate Wounds. We converge on the priest, while Skave continues to snipe from well back. Miya OoC: PLEASE DON’T CRIT FAIL. Shooting your friends in the back is only funny in anime and slapstick cartoons. The priest had been casting Divine Favour, and nearly cuts Gonno in half with a great sword. Our own attacks are much less efficient. At least they add up to enough to finish it off, eventually. GM: One of these days you’ll do some real damage. One of these days you’ll be a Real Boy! It would appear the priest HAD given orders that the ogres were to grab captives and immediately return - the mutilated ogre is one that wasted time amusing himself with a captive militiawoman. She is in a bad way, and will require a lot of counseling once we get her back to town. At least that ogre, and the others, won’t be harming anybody else again. And our immediate pursuit of the monsters means we got all the captives home alive. The next incident that will require our intervention won’t be until the height of summer, in the month of Erastus. Quite an important month around Selversgard, given how many worshippers of the Elk Father live in the area. But until then there are only minor personal issues to worry about - the oddest of which is one of Eddison’s cousins apparently trying to track him down. At least Gonno should be more effective in combat the next time he has to be - a Monk of Irori that was passing through town to inspect Miya's dojo heard about some of the excitement, watched Gonno sanding and planing timber, and talked him into trading his padded armour for some old monk robes. This, apparently, was the height of comedy, but the monk didn't explain the joke.

It's certainly been a very eventful evening at the Kintargo Opera House, what with Lord-Mayor Barzillai Thrune's attempt to murder hundreds of civilians and blame the Ghosts of Kintargo. To our profound relief, we've actually managed to kill most of the devils he was going to use, and the civilians trying to flee can all turn around and watch as we finish off the ones we now outnumber. Although it's probably just as well we're all still in our Masquerade costumes - we don't want to make it TOO easy for the authorities to hunt us down when they inevitably retaliate. The Bone Devil dives to the relative safety of the floor, despite the fact it’s crawling with highly motivated adventurers - and cops Ankylosaur To The Face AGAIN as the dinosaur cosplays as Anguirus. Ayva makes a mental note for the future opera’s stage directions, to suitably represent a Bone Devil’s head getting exploded like a watermelon and its remains crashing into the orchestra pit. For that matter the small part of Terzo’s brain that wasn’t preoccupied by terror and the fact he nearly just died in the last five minutes is certainly complaining that the opera about the rebellion needs some original arias, not whatever old ones he came up with on the fly. Obviously, the opera will have to have Nox as the main character. An entire (completely fictional) redemption arc, invented scenes between her and Thrune, and dramatic reveals. Plus half of it is already set at the opera house. Terzo: I imagine the authorities in Cheliax will be rather confused as they study the libretto. I look forward to it being banned - Just means more sales elsewhere. Might need to consult a cleric of Sarenrae to make the character redemption believable. Painted Nox finishes off the intoxicated Dotarri. Dotarri: Is that Nox? She looks …. Attractive? Painted Nox: *poleaxe* Dotarri: ****! Rajira slashes up the already dazed, prone and bleeding Erinyes, and adds a few more Status Effects to give her a Very Bad Day. Chough ensures it’s the devil’s last day by tearing her open like a cheap dog toy and wearing her lungs as a hat. Looking around we discover to our surprise that we’re all still alive, albeit rather battered. Ayva is in the odd position of wanting to hug the ball of fire, but then Shimza’s healing flames are rather odd. At least that, and the flying ankylosaur, will ensure some rumours that the Ghosts of Kintargo have a dragon on their side. It’s true, too, although Vendelfek is hardly as deadly as the rapidly spinning Ornithischian. We have Painted Nox carry ‘Thrune’s’ body to the Opera House doors, after Terzo hurriedly feeds her speech based on the final scene of The Red Tyrant. He’ll have to rewrite that for his eventual opera about recent events in Kintargo - he doesn’t want to be accused of plagiarism. Rajira uses the window we threw the real Nox through to sing her aria from Huntress of Heroes, a piece she was due to perform prior to Thrune closing the opera house (and, additionally, petrified Shensen, star of Kintargo opera). Her roll comes out to 41. It’s quite possibly the most sublime performance the Opera House has ever seen. Everybody within earshot, probably including some of the Dotarri, are now dedicated to the rebellion. As news spreads, we’ll have well over 10% of Kintargo on our side. Civilla’s inhumanly sneaky homunculus Luster explores the Opera House basement while Ayva hurries off to deal with the petrified Shensen while all this is going on - the rest of us can fly off on the Ankylosaur if we have to, although that might be rather conspicuous. Luster finds a vault, and a very creepy coffin. If we move the coffin and Shensen to the bottom of the pond in Aria Park using the grotto connecting the two, we can have one of our teams move them to one of our safehouses later. If that coffin DOES contain the vampire we speculated was feeding on Thrune, there’s quite a few precautions we’ll need to take, but we do have some options to turn it human again regardless. Painted Nox returns with Thrune’s body. Painted Nox: It’s a fake. Civilla: … it’s Cizmerkis, isn’t it. Avya: What, really? Terzo: I’m sorry, who’s Cizmerkis? Civilla: …Ah… er… I’ll explain later. Business Associate. There are certainly some aspects of the contract that Civilla will have to consider, if Cizmerkis actually suffered True Death. Another thing she might want to consult an actual lawyer about - preferably one of the Inevitables, immortal creatures of pure Law. If Cizmerkis was Summoned as a Greater Planar Ally and Polymorphed for this entire trap, then he’s stuck as a corpse until the spells wear off. Avya: Shimza saved our lives today. Cure Moderate Wounds would not have cut it. Civilla: I’ll say. “Where’s your healer?’ ‘Up in the rafters’ “Oh dear’ ‘Directing the Flaming Ball of Healing’ ‘ I'm sorry, what?”. We’ve also earned enough XP from this evening to level up TWICE. Once we get that casket somewhere safe, we unseal it - after Civilla casts Daylight. Inside is a very surprised Jilia Bainilus, and she is, indeed, a vampire. So that’s what happened to the missing former Mayor. Civilla: *holds up a Elixir of True Resurrection* I have a cure. Jilia seems very much in favour of that even as her new vampire abilities try to Dominate us. We seal her up again, move her out into the sunlight, open it up to burn her to dust, and pour on the potion. The restored Mayor is understandably rather annoyed with Thrune and his allies. She’s not the only one - hundreds of the most influential people in Kintargo now want Thrune’s head on a spike. Rajira: They probably wanted his head on a spike already, just on general principles. Now they REALLY want it.

Pathfinder : Chronicles of Selversgard pt.16 In which the party encounter their most vicious opponent yet - small town politics We never actually confirm WHY that werewolf woman in the isolated cottage was involved in giving that Hellknight unwanted body-hair. Maybe she was lonely. But the involvement of that Kyton was enough reason for us to get home as fast as possible and barricade the doors. But the next six months are uneventful, at least in terms of artistic dismemberment. Eddison enjoys the peace and quiet. Arram, on the other hand, needs to make some marriage arrangements in a hurry. Apparently the apothecary was out of prophylactic tea - but then, given the epidemic that ran through the Ysoki warren, Skave was probably busy with that. Too late to save one of his infant children, alas. The new sewer system the Ysoki have installed under Selversgard should have helped to prevent a more severe outbreak, at least. Galiante has arranged a two-week get-away at Shev’s hunting lodge way outside Selversgard, mostly as a break from their own kids. On the other hand, yet more tunnels have been discovered under the town. They’re flooded, which is unsurprising given the local water table, but you do have to wonder exactly how much is buried under the town. Eddison hopes nobody remembers he’s an aquatic elf. The next council meeting discusses the issue, among more mundane matters. As usual, the current mayor hasn’t actually bothered to show up, but his second is up to the task. Some of the issues have been brought up at every meeting for the last five years, but that wouldn’t surprise anybody who has ever been on a committee. Eddison, Miya and Arram are actually in attendance when Halvari Ajeri, the representative of the Fishermens Guild, keels over dead. Nobody seems to be leaving the room surreptitiously. Admittedly he wasn’t a young man, but Miya notes that one of the late councilmember’s eyes has a wildly blown-out pupil. Mother Maybell diagnoses a stroke. Mother Maybell: What can I say? It was his time - he’s with the Goddess now. Miya: I take it the meeting is adjourned? They fetch some linen, and Eddison transports the body on a Floating Disc. At least the funeral will be tomorrow. Eddison: So we don't have to put him in the river to keep. Eddison takes the opportunity to talk to the head of the Militia, who’s been pushing for an expanded militia for years. Eddison sympathises - he wants to expand the entire town. Eddison: Why not establish a Town Guard? Only a few people, but that’ll be a separate budget item! Plus there’s a vacancy on the council now. There’s going to have to be an election. Of course, only current members of the council can actually approve new members. No wonder nothing significant has changed in Selversgard for the last few decades. Eddison: Speaking as an elf, this is a recipe for stagnation. The Council can be divided more or less into two factions, traditionalists and progressives. Gelvert (usually represented by his son Gelbert), the late Helvari Ajeri, and Killane Shellsdotter are solidly traditionalist and see little advantage in changing a winning formula. Blake and Kregor both want to see more manufacturing and artificing come to Selversgard, enabling the sale of more finished goods and not just raw lumber, and they have the support of Vandruber and the Eastlake Company. Kregor also wants to upgrade his men's kit - get proper longbows and better armour, maybe even some of those newfangled gunpowder weapons, but he never gets the budget. Knobroc, when present, tends to side with them, but he was elected to counter the Fishermen’s Guild. Silas of the Green has surprised a few people by supporting some of the progressive proposals, though never when it comes to the possibility of expanding the town. Helvari’s son Aldo naturally assumes he’ll inherit the position as guildmaster and councilmember. He’s a good man in an emergency, but when given the luxury of time tends to agree with whoever talked to him last. But Skiri Olafsdottir, head of Olaf and Family Boatwrights, also put her hand up, and has significant support. She’s certainly more determined than Aldo. Miya: Willing to compromise, but would prefer not to. Miya’s husband Falx is not on the council already, and this situation has him quite excited. And the Ysoki warren approaches Shev and Skave - they want representation on the council too. Shev: Once I stop laughing I’m going to introduce you to our cousin the healer, because there’s clearly something wrong with you. Ysoki: But you’ve dealt with the council before? Shev: And look how quickly they accepted the proposal I leave town. I recommend our cousin Romilda - she actually lives in town and is less likely to blow the place up. And then Arram receives a delegation too - Roger, Knobroc and Sennsa-Auel the elven madam - they want more representation for small businesses. Roger, in fact, is willing to stand down if Arram will take his place. They might not OBJECT to the Fisherman’s Guild having a voice of the council - they just hope it’s not Aldo. Knobroc: Although there have been some grumblings about your relationship with one of your students. Arram: A FORMER student. A fair proportion of the town are my former students by now. Knobroc: Fair point. Arram: … I’m going to have THREE jobs and a new kid. His religious education classes have some objectors too. Arram OoC: I took a freaking level in Religion for those classes! They’re just looking for something to complain about. Miya: ‘Gods exist. Thus endeth the lesson’ But then being an atheist in Golarion is a losing proposition, unless your position is that the gods neither require nor deserve your worship. You might fit in in the nation of Rahadoum, though - they banned all religion. Arram canvases some of the other business owners, such as Gonno. He assures the Oread that since the council only meets monthly, and he won’t be Mayor for at least 5 years, he can handle the double-duty as schoolmaster. He also asks how Gonno’s children are doing - which, if the carpenter was more talkative, would lead to hours of happy boasting. Clearly his daughter is going to be a carpenter - look at how much hammer damage she’s done to the wall. Arram makes his excuses, and is sent on his way with a cold beer and goat cheese. He gets more refreshments at Miya and Falx’s place, while talking with them and the forestry rep Blake, but as he is heading to the Warren doubles over with agonizing gut cramps. Miya and Falx are suddenly taken ill as well. The three reach Mother Maybell’s place at the same time, seeking medical aid. She diagnoses poison. Arram: Thought so. (OOC: That’s usually why I need to make mysterious CON saves.) Blake is not at home. Hopefully he hasn’t keeled over somewhere. Kragor and the militia find him, eventually, between two of the houses. Alive, but not well. It seems certain the poison was in the bottle of wine they shared. None of the servants recall even serving wine. Arram: Genuine Magnimaran Leaded Wine. Miya: Extra sweet. Skave analyzes the residue - it’s a mineral poison, usually used as a slow poison. The four victims just got an acute dose of arsenic. He prepares antidotes, while Arram checks on the other candidates. Skiri is busy at work on a Pinnace. Shev OoC: It’s the finest Pinnace I’ve ever seen. Huge. Skave’s player: You’re doing that deliberately. Skiri Olafsdottir: Poison? I didn’t think the politics around here was THAT bad. Arram: Honestly, neither did I. She’s already worked through lunch, and nobody has left a plate of food anywhere for her to snack on. Arram moves on to check on Aldo. He’s out on the river. Miya: A perfect alibi. Skiri is certainly a more popular candidate than Aldo, although Aldo does have more influence. But Arram has made more impact on town, and influential friends besides. So it’ll be the boatwright and the teacher assuming places on the council. It’s ironic that Arram has always thought himself a conservative figure, but he might be responsible for some real change in Selversgard. Skave: I buy Arram a bottle of wine to congratulate him and to apologise for all the times I’ve set him on fire. Miya: He was just poisoned by a bottle of wine. Skave: I checked it first! Eddison has business for the new council - he requires permission for a new inn in town. Eddison: I either work at the place some people avoid because the Yellow House is next door, or the place that smells of fish guts! Eddison: I want to focus on the eating side of things. Miya: Then we come to the important question, what are you going to call it? Eddison: ….. Gonno: Hello? Eddison: I’m thinking! GM: The Crickets Chirping? Eddison: I’m sure I’ll think of something before we open. If he builds it on a jetty, or incorporates a living tree into the building somehow, Eddison can avoid most of Silas the Green’s objections. Especially if we do the druids some kind of favour first. And if he leans on his charisma half the people in town will give him discounts on everything else he needs to build his new inn. Eddison: I’m fabulous, just ask me. But the ‘servant’ that placed the poisoned wine is never identified. And part of the Ysoki warren collapses into more of those mystery tunnels. And while scouting the riverbed after a boat collision, Eddison finds an ominous dome protruding from the mud. It once had a statue on top - that’s what the boat hit. And, alas, Arram does not become a father. A sad start to his new career, and the eighth year of the campaign.

Regardless of how the next few minutes play out, the rebellion in Kintargo is going to have to wildly revise their threat estimate of Lord-Mayor Barzillai Thrune. The trap he laid would have devastated us, even if we hadn’t shown up. But it’s equally shocking how many resources he must have expended setting this up. Consider - in the Red Corner : Dozens of heavily armed Dotarri, Half a dozen Bearded Devils, a huge Bone Devil, an Erinyes, and a Contract Devil. Each of the devils has been concealed with expensive glamours and magical items until it was time to slaughter everybody in the building. In the Blue Corner - Four artists and intellectuals and a few of their friends. The Ghosts of Kintargo are not people suited to mass combat. In fact, our only member suited for face-to-face combat is Rajira’s cousin Mahat, who no doubt we’ll find sitting on a pile of dead Dotarri outside, later. Rajira is pretty deft with a kukri, true, but she got most of her skill at interpersonal violence while training for the Opera. At least the Contract Devil is dead, if that was indeed Cizmerkis disguised as Thrune on the stage. And the Dotarri are clearly dismayed by the apparent death of their Lord-Mayor. But we're still seriously outnumbered, some of us are already badly wounded, and the assorted Devils have clearly identified us as People That Need To Die. Unfortunately the really big Azata is really a really big Bone Devil. They can turn invisible. And Fly. As Civilla, still up in the chandelier, will shortly learn to her cost. The Azata that was already flying is actually an Erinyes, and a horribly efficient sniper. And Rajira is having really, really bad luck avoiding the Bearded Devils. And one of the latter is paying attention to Terzo again. Then Civilla drops a Chthonic Ankylosaur onto the stage. Civilla: If I kept the Xill around there was a real chance somebody would get implanted with more Xill. Ayva: The opera about these events is going to be hilarious. Happily, if Terzo dashes to the front of the orchestra pit then most of the party (and the Ankylosaur) can be buffed with the spell Good Hope. Another aria arises from the chaos. Ayva: I can’t WAIT to see this opera. Some of our other allies - Captain Cassius Sargaeta of the Chellish Navy, his boyfriend Marquel Aulorian, and the faerie dragon Vendalfek - keep working on getting the civilians out of the building alive, without too many of them being trampled to death. Up on the balcony the Painted Nox and original continue to mutually annihilate - happily our fake is smart enough to stick as close as possible to Thrune’s bodyguard, to prevent her using her own evil glaive to best effect. And the original Nox has a Baleful Gaze attack now, after tearing a pair of blinders from her eyes in a brutal display. Although that affects her own allies as well, and the Painted Nox is immune. And for that matter everybody is too busy to even notice her trying to catch their gaze. At least Shimza can do ranged healing in the form of Scorching Rays and Flaming Spheres that make people feel better (with the added bonus that the Bearded Devils pause their attacks on people that are apparently already on fire). And Civilla and Shimza can Dimension Slide to somewhere safer than the chandelier and hide in an Invisibility Sphere. And the Dire Corby we’ve been having trained by a barbarian is finally able to help in combat. She might not be optimised for Face-to-Face Combat but she’s very very good at Beak-to-Spine. Ayva: Our Lady of Squawking Death. Although she hasn’t actually dismembered anything but training dummies lately. We’ve been trying to teach her to use her rage constructively. Ayva in Flashback: ‘No no, you don’t cut them in half, because that’s murder. And murder is…?’ ‘... and Murder is wrong’ Rajira in Flashback: No, murder is crows. Still, the Bearded Devil that Chough lands behind is definitely going to be murdered, after she grabs each side of his head and tears him in half down the middle. Chough: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE Upstairs, our Painted Nox prevents the original from using the gaze attack again. Or gazing at anything ever again, by slicing her shiny magical glaive through both Nox’s eyes. If that WAS Cizmerkis the Xill killed, then the original Nox might just have been released from her contract, and is free to flee. Not that she can see to flee. Further, since it was Civilla’s Xill that landed the killing blow, she might be able to claim Nox’s contract by Right of Conquest. Terzo OoC: You MIGHT want to consult a lawyer on that idea first. It probably won’t matter anyway - Civilla shadow-conjures a Holy Javelin and runs her through - Arcane Casters are ridiculously versatile. The original Nox staggers as holy light and clarions ravage her, and gets pushed out a window to a Disney Death. Where everybody can see that there are clearly two Noxs, and this one was some kind of abomination, and our one a blazing figure of goodness. Rajira’s player: Oh god, we’re conflating two great songs - Blinded By The Light and Holy Diver. The Bone Devil manages to critically injure itself (possibly it was blinded by the light of the Nox Kebab) but the Erinyes mages to mortally wound Terzo even as he’s trying to assist his friends with their own injuries. It can also see straight through the Invisibility Sphere. It’s just as well Shimza has an Amulet of Life’s Breath that Civilla made for her, to keep her going beyond any normal amount of injury. Civilla: We magic-users know exactly how squishy we are. At least the burrowing Ankylosaur continues to be effective. At the very least the nearly dead Ayva can hide behind it. Civilla: I brought a siege engine to a knife fight. Chough is certainly going through the opposition like a Ballista, too. She nearly kills a second Devil as it’s trying to Greater Teleport out of her way. And then the Ankylosaur becomes even more like a siege weapon, because Ayva casts Fly on it (and Rajira), from where she was hiding underneath. The Bone Devil and the Erinyes certainly weren’t expecting THAT. The concussed Erinyes crashes to earth just as the Euphoric Cloud obscuring half the room disperses. Rajira yells to Terzo get in behind the Erinyes while she attacks from the front, but this nearly backfires terribly as the Bone Devil casts Hemisphere of Ice first - or attempts to. It would seem it forgot about the Ankylosaur. You’d think a Flying Chthonic Ankylosaur would be difficult to forget. The devil gets thagomized in the face. At least if it suffers True Death at the dinosaur's tailclub it won’t have to explain to anybody what happened. That would just be embarrassing. Painted Nox does a Superhero Landing from the balcony (Constructs with Regeneration don’t have to worry about broken ankles) and contributes to the flanking on the Erinyes. Rajira Flies in to the attack. Chough leaps clear across the orchestra pit to contribute some properly directed violence. Ayva adds Mydriatic Spontaneity, to keep the devil’s pupils constantly dilating and contracting and leaving it half-blind and nauseated. The dottari still intoxicated by the Euphoric Cloud watch all this with fascination, swaying slightly. Ayva OoC: I can't wait until Civilla can summon Chthonic T. Rexes. Terzo OoC: We’ve all seen that episode of The Goodies.