Lawnmower Boy

I fear we may be starting to drift into ad hominem territory. No good end awaits us there.

Things both were, and weren't going according to plan. I had a tracker on a camera, but it hadn't gone to base yet. I had feelers out for Bench, but the guy doing it might not have been as warm and fuzzy about being choked as he claimed to be. The miscreants had been dealt with, but I missed 90% of it, and deserted the team, only to have one of the rookies find out why later after I had gotten in the way of yet another. 
I stared at the tracker, "I guess it will be unreasonable to expect Clamdigger to have all the info within the hour, and the tracker isn't showing any one location that that drone is going to for more than five minutes. That could take hours."
 
Mayo and I had gathered under a wharf, to give a bit of a buffer from the louder waves. I do wish one of the seals that hung out nearby would be a bit quieter. Every two minutes he let loose a bark that could shake your ears. He seemed to pay what Mayo and I wanted no mind.  Like me, Mayo wasn't really bothered by the cold of the ocean, so we both were half immersed anyway. It was, kind of soothing, at least for me. Any injuries I had were by now already healed up. Water is kind to me.
 
My friend basked a bit  and noted my time keeping guesswork gently, "So we have time. Perhaps you should put that time to good use."
"You mean , Patrol? No can do. I already nearly lost it on just a regular guy, 'talent' or not, If I met a villain I didn't gauge right in my state of mind I'd risk lack of control even more," I wanted to settle that fast.
 
"That's not what I was going to suggest," Mayo told me, " i was going to suggest something much harder while you had time."
"You want me to get into a staring contest with Viewpoint?" I quipped weakly.
 
"Returning to your team is probably the wisest thing you can do, but not the most necessary," He told me, and continued on, "You need to speak to your father and mother.  And perhaps, so do I.  As I said, if Bench is behind this, it is possibly by mystical means he gained even more knowledge. But  that aside, you need to talk to them."
 
"Oh hell no," I blurted before I even thought the words. Realizing I had to explain why now, I went on, "My father is a good man, a kind man, but even if he forgives me, especially if he forgives me, I think it's going to hurt all the more. I'd almost rather her chewed me out." No, I realized, no almost about it, I would feel better if he tore me up verbally and spit out the pieces. 
 
Unfortunately for me, Mayo didn't confuse his sympathy for me with capitulation, "And yet, we both know you are not one to put your pain before the needs of others. Your father needs to know this  for his own sake, so he can understand why you seem to have withdrawn. Otherwise you are hurting him in ways his ailment cannot."
 
I glared at him, "What color is my aura now, when I kind of want to yeet you several miles out into the deep water?"
"A sort of angry ochre, if you must know," he answered. I had no idea if he was lying or not, "Am I wrong?"
"No, you're not," I said through gritted teeth, "Hence the ochre." 
"Then, yeet me, I'll swim back and we can , ritual done, go to your father," A pause, "Ah, what is it to yeet? I mean, I have a notion given context but-"
I smiled, picked him up, and showed him. I have to say, Mayo was not that aerodynamic. Which is the excuse I'm going to give that he didn't really get 'yeeted' that far. 
 
"Not enough spin," I observed sadly.

He swam back, of course, "You," he informed me, "Are a petty petty man."
"Yes I am," I smiled, "Don't offer if you don't mean it next time."
"A truth" he conceded, and we moved along. I did not look forward to seeing dad. I think I must have tried to side track at least four or five times.

Mayo didn't let me. He used wisdom of the ages, emotional support, and flat out shaming techniques. I honestly think mystics have a 'good? bad? I'm the guy with the staff.' attitude in their approach to problem solving at times. It's irritating, but effective.
 
And I certainly wasn't going to go to my folks in a water soaked generic gray costume. Instead, I got into some blue jeans, a pull over shirt and some sneakers. I don't know why I went SO casual, maybe it was that anything formal smacked of funerals. Then again, some in my family would dress in a funeral like that. I guess in the end it's not quite that important.
 
I returned to my folks hotel room, and, knocked. Mayo was there, he had dressed in a hoodie which.. helped I suppose, but I still expected someone to bump into him and freak out that we were being invaded. 
 
Mom was the one who opened the door. Her eyes locked on me with relief, then hugged me, "Caleb, you came back. Please, you and your friend come here. Airana is already here. She said you'd be here."
 
I was confused. How the hell did Ariana know that I'd be here. I didn't even know I'd be here so it couldn't be Aspirant even if he had peeped me. Then I remembered the look between Mayo and him. That conversation they had I wasn't part of. There was more than concern involved.
"I feel set up," I muttered, hoping I didn't sound like I was whining.
 
"Only by those who love you," Ariana said, "Come on in, please. I've been apologizing to your mother for our abrupt departure. She's been most kind."
 
"Feeling like a selfish fool more like than kind," Mom admitted as Mayo and I came in and closed the door behind us, "I know you have important life saving work. Not like it's been a secret to us."
 
"Super-strength sure is handy for stump removal," My dad said, holding up a shot of bourbon.  It was a bit early for it, but hell, the man had a right to drink whatever he wanted.
 
"Ariana, what are you doing here?" I turned to her first, mostly because I worried if I looked straight at dad I might just make a stir as if I were eight years old and not a grown man, "The others need a... well, looking after."
 
"They have someone looking after," She replied, then looked at mom and dad before deciding the pretense of secrecy was way past us, "Slime is with them, Viewpoint and Pogo on patrol."
"Oh," I said, feeling any chance of making a fuss as a delaying tactic dwindling.  I turned to mom and dad, "Well, I'm sorry too."
 
"Son, are you okay?" My dad asked, "We saw the Miscreants taken down on the TV. You weren't there, what happened, were you hurt? Some other threat come up?"
 
My mouth caught. How do I tell my dad that I am SO close to snapping from bottled self loathing I might kill someone if I slip even a bit? That I almost tortured a guy for information? None of that is how he raised me. I wanted to say words, but nothing came out.
 
"Eel," Ariana stepped forward and kissed my cheek, "Chose to work behind the scenes, and Mayo came into help. Our fighting allowed a distraction from his information gathering. Your son is actually rather clever."
 
"Oh, lord love a duck," My mom beamed "We know that. Though he could be stubborn about homework if it bored him. Loved him some history, but oh my he didn't care too licks about grammar. " 
 
"I didn't like your mother either," Dad turned said to mom at the mention of 'grammar' and we groaned. Dad was Dad joking long before it was a term. 
He received a light loving swat as was the tradition for mocking grandmother. I shot him a grateful look for trying to lighten the mood. And another to my lady for making it sound like my quitting was a noble deed. It wasn't , but, it was nice to not have to tell dad about my stress. He had enough troubles, obviously. Real troubles.
 
Still, it was time to get to things, "Dad. I'm sorry you have cancer, I guess it threw me for a loop when I heard it."
"You are not alone in that," he assured me, "I feel like I quit smoking for nothing."
"You smoked?" I was surprised.
"One of your mother's conditions for our dating. She didn't date smokers," He told me.
"Ah, so it wasn't for nothing," Ariana corrected my dad, "It was for everything."
My mom looked over at my Latina lover and gave a slight smile, "If you're trying to use flattery to win me over, it's working."
 
A few chuckles , it was so weird they didn't seem to be freaking out the REAL fish guy in the room, the pale one, "Ah, this is my friend Mayo, not sure if I introduced him. He's .. he's possibly my best friend . He's helped me through all this. We've been in the deep together. In every sense of the word."
"Pleasure to meet you, Mayo," My dad said.
"I am honored to meet you both as well, " Mayo told them, "Your son is a true hero, and I am pleased you realize this as your auras light with pride."
"Mayo," I hissed as my father actually looked a bit sheepish, "No announcing emotions to the room. It's rude."
"And yet surfacers invented opera," Mayo said, then turned to my dad again, "I am sorry, Mister Lambert if  I over stepped."
 
"Quite all right," he nods "Just ah, don't open your yap when I watch my wife bend over."
Okay NOW Mom was blushing. Dad got another light swat that wouldn't dislodge a fly.
They were chuckling, laughing, light banter, all so happy while the weight of my guilt became heavier and heavier.
 
It just suddenly slipped out, "We had the cure for cancer a few years ago and then had to give it up. I'm so sorry. I think I made the wrong choice." I wasn't crying but my voice choked a bit.
 
And everyone grew really quiet.
 
 

In the next hour and a half, I went to the bathroom enough times you'd have thought I had a bladder problem. Dad? Dad only went once, but he did point out he'd have a lot to drink. Mom rolled her eyes at both of us, and Ariana joined her in that. The fact that my mother and the woman I wanted to marry were surreptitiously forming some kind of alliance  gave me mixed feelings but mostly a profound hope they used this power only for good.
Ariana and I, and to a lesser degree, Mayo, all talked about past adventures though we gave away no secret identities. Mom and dad had opinions, of course, supportive, though they couldn't help but chuckle at a few of my exploits that went into the realm of the absurd. Dad had at least three food jokes about the giant chicken incident. 

 I insisted on hearing how family was doing, which took longer than you might think as even second cousins got a brief mention but my focus was on my siblings and I went back to them.
"Wait, the twins aren't going by their names anymore?" I backtracked a bit, "you're kidding right?"
"Nope. They're each pushing for a nick names that aren't 'embarrassing'. I blame your father," My mom shook her head.
"Now, Rhonda," My father chided mom, "It was Summer when the first one came out, Autumn when the next one did."
"Midnight births between the last day of Summer and the first day of Autumn," I explained context to Ariana, "Which is how Summer and Autumn got their names. One born right before the flip, the other right after."
Ariana's hand went to her mouth to stifle a laugh, and having done that followed with "I'm sorry, but I could see why your daughters might rebel a touch. You let you husband choose you say?"
"I was under enough drugs during the delivery to lay an elephant out," My mom explained, "I would have agreed to a lot of things.  Good thing he didn't want a new truck that week."
My father snapped his fingers as if lamenting the long ago missed opportunity.
.
I was about to ask what names the twins decided were acceptable, when the tracker in my pocket beeped. I slid it out, then took what I meant to be a brief peek , The camera hadn't just moved, it had settled at a particular location for over a half hour. This might be the opening I was hoping for.
Ariana noticed it, and looked at me, then said gently, "We can take it from here, Caleb. You stay with your family for a bit. No one would blame you."
"Indeed," Mayo agreed with a slow nod, "You have planted the seeds of success, no harm in letting others take the harvest, my friend."
Mom and dad? Well, they looked a bit confused and dad flat out asked, "Something hero-y come up?"
 
"Kind of," I started to hedge, then shifted gears, "Yes. I think I found the bad guy who has been working behind the scenes. The one I wonder if he, somehow got my secret Identity down and gave you cancer. Maybe he didn't. Either way he might not be in his right mind. I'm worried I'll kill him if  I fight him," I admitted to them.
"Oh you'd never kill a man," My mother protested before anyone else could say anything, "Caleb, you're the same boy who cried when that turtle got hurt by traffic."
I didn't have the heart to tell mom that turtle getting hit by traffic was way too close to the loss of a brother. Then again, maybe she did understand. She and dad had lost a son. I had always blamed myself for not being able to do anything to stop that. Now I wondered how much guilt mom and dad still carried over that loss? Clearly the Lambert family line had a history of keeping our baggage with us long past it's time.
Ariana however was asking "Wait, he cried over a turtle's death?"
"Gave the poor thing a funeral," My dad nodded to her, "Played Amazing Grace on harmonica."
 
Ariana smiled at that, then gave me a fond look, but then forced herself back to super-heroic professionalism, "Stay with your family. Nobody on the team would disagree with your right to it give, well," She shot my dad an apologetic look, then continued "your family crisis on top of everything else."
"I have to call Clamdigger," I told her, "use the number he gave me, see what he learned."
"You can pass that onto me," My co-captain pointed out, logic on her side.
"Well, I'd welcome him staying, prefer if he did, but I stand by what I said," Mother's voice was full of confidence, "My boy doesn't kill."
"Least not if he has any other way out," My dad added but despite the proviso, he too sounded certain in his faith of me. 
Mayo tilted his head, as if sensing more. Damn aura reading mystics, "You are torn."
 
"On one hand, I'm not as confident in myself," I told him, "As mom and dad are that I won't slip and use too much force.  On the other, I'm worried if I sit this one out, I'll never want to stand up again."
My mom said "Would that be so bad, not being a superhero? A civil engineer could save a lot of lives if he used his skills proper."
"That is so," My father agreed, but where mom looked okay, MORE than okay, with the idea of abandoning my life as Eel, dad looked troubled. At times like this, I wish I could read minds or see auras. I didn't know what was going on in his head or heart, or soul for that matter. But I could take a wild guess. Dad was a big fan of seeing what you started through. More than that, where as mom saw Eel as me being brave but at risk, I think Dad understood it was part of who I truly was. That it was my calling.
 
"I've learned, with the help of Lady Obsidian and a certain other lady" I told them with a glance at Ariana, before focusing on my parents again, "That me as Caleb is still a decent man, with plenty to offer the world even without his powers," I realized I was speaking of myself in the third person and inconsistently at that, course corrected, and pushed ahead, "But I love being a superhero. I think I'm good at it. And I don't WANT to sit on the sidelines." 
"Sounds settled then," My dad gave a single curt nod, then rose to  move to me. I thought he seemed a bit shaky. My imagination? or the illness inside of him? Either way, make it to me he did, and looked me square in the eyes, "Caleb, go finish this. If this man is sick in the head, he needs help. If he is choosing to do these things while sane, he needs to be stopped and arrested."
 
"Dad, what if I slip? Lose it?" I asked.
"Then SHE," He looked over at Ariana "Will stop you. Won't you young lady?"
Ariana took a deep breath, "I would."
 
My mom nodded her approvingly, then nodded to  me approvingly as well, and I got the feeling the approval for each of us meant slightly different things.
"Thank you, Ariana," My dad expressed his gratitude before turning to me, "One more thing to set your mind at ease, Caleb, since you think you need it," he cleared his throat, "If you kill this bad guy who may have given me cancer without letting ME have a chance to lay a punch on him, you and I will have a coming to Jesus meeting for the ages, you ken me?"
 
"I ken you, dad," I smiled weakly, drew my breath in. Doubts would remain, but they'd have to move to the side while I focused on what mattered, in the here and now, "Mom, Dad. I love you. I'll be back when this is done."
"Godspeed, son," Mom said.
"Kick ass, take names," Dad gave his own blessing.
I looked at Ariana and Mayo, "Let's roll," I told them, "We have leads to follow."
"Together," Ariana added, making a point of it to me. 
"Yes, Co-Captain," I responded dutifully, not adding that without her, I'd be a far bigger mess than I was. I opened the door for her, and followed. 
Behind me, Mayo muttered just loud enough to be heard, "The strands are closing, wonder what the final pattern will be?"
I wish mystics wouldn't talk like that.

Turns out I'm a cat. 
 

I also have to say that, as a reinterpretation of comic-book lore, the cinematic Ten Rings are the most original, imaginative, and aesthetically beautiful example I've ever seen.

My father looked at me for a long time, then, in his elegant way, asked "Caleb, what the hell are you talking about? You had a cure for cancer and gave it up? What is it you claimed to have done, traded it for magic beans?"
 
If dad was trying to lighten my guilt, he was failing miserably, "I'm not joking," I told him, "The Fumian situation. A lot of their stuff was a mix of monkey's paw and snake oil; you buy it, but the price was always ten times the cost and it goes wrong. But this? It would have, it did work. I know, the hospital is proof of that."
"Hospital?" Mom sounded confused, and no wonder, how would any of this make sense?
 
Then Ariana took my hand and showed how it could make sense, calmly, kindly, she pulled me back, and  the next thing I knew I was sitting on a sofa with a drink in my other hand while she held on tight to the other.one, "What Caleb is saying is true, though he gives us more choice than we had in my opinion. This will take a moment, but if you'll be patient, I'll tell you all that happened, and why we had a cure we can no longer share, even though we really really wish we could. It may upset you, but I want you to know if you are going to be upset by our choice, it was OUR Choice, the team, as much a choice as we had. Do you have time to let me tell it?"
 
"Enough to hear this," My father's double meaning to that wasn't lost on me. He was trying to be reassuring. 
I didn't feel reassured. Not batting a thousand today, dad.
My mother? She just nodded.
 
And Ariana stole my thunder so to speak. She told the story calmly, but not coldly. She related how it came to be, how happy we felt when we discovered the cure, and how another alien race grew desperate to keep us from repeating their mistake with a eugenics 'fix' gone wild. That out our choice was to win and kill a small army and invite invasion with a chance of a Nazi's dreams come true when, not if, it fell into the wrong hands.
During this, my father's brow furrowed at certain key points, a soft nod now and then, a look of sad resignation. Other than those moments, he was as stoic as a statue. Mom's face was much easier to read. Horror at the villains we fought, hope at our victories, sorrow at the lost cure. 
"My god," She finally said when Ariana was done.
"Son," My father looked at me, "Not to sleight your lady, but... is that how you see that story?"
 
"In my mind, I could have done more, made a different choice," I told him, "It might have saved you, but otherwise, yes. She didn't miss a beat," I took a deep breath to calm myself, "I'm sorry, dad. I'm supposed to be saving lives, not choosing which lives are worth saving. And now I can't save you."
 
And I knew, knew mind you, that however dad really felt, he'd tell me that it was okay. He'd back my play a little, or he'd back my play a lot. That's how he was wired. He'd talk about his place in heaven being secured, even if it was a bit premature. He'd do his best to protect me from pain, to shield me from myself. He was always doing that, trying to take it on himself, trying to carry the load alone. Good god, the man was annoying in that way. The downside with that was anything he said was suspect due to that.
 
Mom? Mom  I was sure, would rip me a new one. She loved dad with all her heart. She believed that you didn't let family down, you stood by them. Dad saw himself as the expendable one. Mom believed none of us were expendable. And even Ariana's story might be seen as my deciding some people were just that. I was not looking forward to the outrage she would surely express.
 
My dad looked at me, "You're my son. It's not your job to look after me, it's my job to look after you. You couldn't know, and frankly sounds like you didn't have as much a choice as you were going on. Heck, it's amazing you managed to get to help those kids in that hospital. Times like this, I like to think at least there's good beer in heaven, just maybe I'll be tasting it a few years sooner than I expected."
 
Two thoughts rushed to my head at his comment. The first was a smug 'I knew it' when he acted just like I thought he would. The second was a less rational focus on the beer comment with a 'Heaven is in Canada?'. Damn Aspirant, he'd gotten into my head in more ways than one.
 
I looked at my mom and braced myself.
 
"Well," She said, " I love the man but frankly I think your father is full of it. We're a family, we look after each other, not on anyone of us to take all the load without the others lending support. I think an apology is in order for some nearsightedness."
 
Ariana, still holding my hand, stiffened, and her normally kind eyes grow hard as stone gazing at my mother. Heck, I thought I heard her teeth grind as, jaw set,  she started to rise from the sofa to give my mom what for in my defense. Great, the two most important women in my life were about to clash.  I readied to pull Ariana back and see if I could wordlessly convey that I was ready to take my lumps. I guess I called it with mom's reaction too.
 
I opened my mouth to apologize to mom  before Ariana could start a verbal scrap with her.
 
But mom's mouth was quick, "Caleb, we've known you were a hero for a while now. We've watched your exploits on TV and the Supertube and what not.  We've been so proud. We've asked how you were doing and you always told you fine and we went with it because we know secrecy is how you try to protect us. And while we've been on the other side of the country, there is no excuse, none, for how we've neglected you."
 
"Ariana, mom, stop figh-" I started to say, then I did a re-wind in my brain. What did she just say?

Ariana's own jaw had dropped. She was all geared up to go a mom like two lionesses in a quarrel, only to have the rug pulled under her. She wasn't as surprised as I was. She couldn't be.
 
"True that, as you youngn's say," Dad spoke up, "Son we get that communications can be hacked or tapped so you have to speak in code, but , your mom is right .We should have realized how traumatic some of what you do is."
 
Mom nodded, and continued, "Caleb, why didn't you tell us the holidays after that event, when you were home, that you'd been burdened with such a terrible terrible choice? I know you have this fine young lady, and your team mates to talk to , but we're still your family, we would have been in your corner, helped your pain."
 
"Boy takes too much on himself," My dad shook his head, "It's his worse trait," He pointed a finger at me, "You need to work on that, son."
 
And Mayo, who had been still as a statue through all this, broke out into a laugh, causing us all to turn and look at him.
 
The blind mystic seemed to sense rather than see the attention, "My apologies, Mister Lambert.. It's just I and others have said that very same thing."

"Well, there you go," My father said, vindicated, and looked to his wife, "Ain't that always been Caleb's problem?"

"Always has," She agreed, "Don't know where he gets it from." And she and Ariana exchanged mutually sympathetic looks.
 
"Mom, I thought you'd be upset? Outraged," I blurted.
 
"Of course I am, told you why too, one cattywampus situation after another, family not talking to family so we can tend to each other's aches. Lord, Love a duck, I AM upset, but -" A realization "Oh, you think I'd be upset at you? Humphh, what is it because your mother is a woman? I'm supposed to be all hysterical? " She looked at Ariana, "I am so sorry, Ariana, he's had some backwards values creep in his upbringing despite our best efforts. I was hoping California would balance those out with some hipster think."
 
Ariana's briefly hard glare had long vanished, and now she looked warmly at my mom, "Oh no, please don't apologize. You've raised a good man, but he's had a few years here already. Some areas he can be a bit of a slow learner. Was he like that at home? Stubborn about changing?"
 
"Oh dear girl, we need to have ourselves some more chats , just you and I, sometime," My mom told her.
 
"Aren't you glad we came, Caleb?" My dad joked at that.
 
I hadn't realized it, but tears , as much of relief as sorrow, threatened to overwhelm , "As. .a matter of fact, I am. I need to use the bathroom" 
Dad noticed the need, maybe even the real reason for it "Right there in the corner," he pointed at the bathroom door. 
"Thanks," I said, "be.. right back."
 
 As I moved past Mayo towards it, I heard him mutter, "You're an amazingly blessed man, Caleb. I think I envy you." but he smiled when he said it.
 
"You should," I told him, and retreated into the toilet adorned haven. If I did break into tears, I didn't want it to be in front of folks I cared about. 
 
I had backwards influences in my youth, don't you know?

I don't see how those add up to "slide rule."
 

Having given it all the deep and serious thought it deserves, I think "under a wharf" works better and gives you an "under the boardwalk" joke to pad the old word content.

Having a private conversation while standing hip deep in the water at a rocky beach is perhaps a scenario that works better in a Tennessean imagination than in real life. 
 
I mean, it would be private in the sense that no-one else could hear it over the surf, but . . . 

Bah, that's not spam.
 
 

*Reports post for Spam*
 
 

I'll believe it when I see it.  She and Manchin can form the Conservative Pariah Caucus, population two.

Pull up a chair, folks.  Very heavy dose of irony.
 
 
... so recently in a different thread I mentioned being stressed by teaching courses, and other stuff.  There's the other stuff.  It's going to last a few months.

I got a text about a half hour ago  Dad is at the ER. He was having double vision, said his head hurt,  and also threw up. He almost passed out. He's getting a brain CT done. He's in good medical hands, but thoughts, prayers, good vibration, positive energy or even just a well wish deeply appreciated.