Tim

Q: Are you okay after that hockey incident? Q: What did the food police arrest you for? A: Loud, crase, and rude. And those are his good points.

Q: What three problems cropped up during the last virtual reality test? A: I'm looking for an edible pot noodle.

My pet peeve. Players whose characters have to either oppose the rest of the group in secret, or be contrary no matter what.

Q: How do you fix politician suprise? A: verbatim

Q; How do we know that Steve Long needs a vacation? A: Not this Thursday, you won't.

Q: Why is that mouse destroying your house? A: Gasoline Flambe

Q: What was the effects of watching Mightbec's Porno? A: I'll take what is behind door number 50.

Q: What is Rachel's opposite? A: all it needs is a fresh coat of paint.

Q: How are you going to solve the Alphabet murders? A: The Halfling runs the pawn shop.

funny cartoon.

Q: Everyone on the NGD is picking their political party. Which one are you joining? A: Letsee ... gold.

Q: Do you want the duck? Well Do ya? How much do you want it? A: The long dark, sunny Midnight.

Q: What did Arachne say just before she was turned into a spider? A: Live Long, Love Hard, and Lose thirty pounds in three weeks on the Slimfast Plan.

Q; Why are all my torture victims laughing? A: Don't cut the rope.

Q: What would nearly every guy on this board like to see Kara in? A: You will be showered with good luck, in bed.

Q: Well, You've gotten rid of that nest of Hornets, and burned down half the block to boot. You happy now? A: Texas, Taxes. I always get those two confused.

How do you get to Heaven? I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?" "NO!" the children answered. "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?" Again, the answer was, "NO!" By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun! "Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked them again. Again, they all answered, "NO!" I was just bursting with pride for them. Well, I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?" A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!"

My mouse just died. What I need to know is, was it just the optical light or was it something more?

Q: What is the name of that new band that plays Techno-Punk-Rap? A: If the mouse dies plug in the cat.

Q: Why are you playing Christian Rock at full volume? A: she needed a shave.

Q; What did the patient say after the doctor checked his tonsils? A: I need a beer

Q; They've found the remains of the missing Chessex employee? Where? A; 3 degrees above Absolut Vodka.

Q: What word do you detest more than any other? A; In between heartbeats.

Q: YOur nose is all red. Have you been drinking? A: chewable dynamite caps.

Q: What, if found in your living room, signals a party is about to start? A; Freddie, Jason, Chuckie, and Bozo.