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You Just Won a Date with FOXBAT!


CarlSagan

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I ran across this scenario in another thread, and I thought it was wacky enough to rate its own thread.

 

Here is the scenario, gentle posters. Your GM has, for whatever reason, selected YOU to receive a random Hunted by Romantic Stalker - 20 pts. disadvantage. Your stalker turns out to be none other than the one, the ONLY (thank God) FOXBAT! (Note: Female characters only.) (Supplemental Note: Human Female characters only.) (Postscript to Supplemental Note: Living, Human Female characters only.)

 

Now, I know a lot of you would simply blast this loser into atoms if he ever came near you, and others would simply arrange for him to take yet another trip to Alcatraz (or wherever). The question today, though, is different. This is a role-playing opportunity. So, you don't kill him, and you don't get him to violate the conditions of his parole (again). Just for the sake of argument you don't do these things.

 

What would you do? How would you play it? Let's try to come up with some really, really interesting ideas out there!

:)

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Anthem would be nice about it at least. She'd tell him as sympathetically as she could that it would never work.

 

Then she'd tell him that she's under age. Realizing then that he's a criminal and wouldn't care, she'd tell him her boyfriend wouldn't appreciate it. Then, just like in the sitcoms, she'd pick somebody she knows and say that's her boyfriend. She'd make it someone strong enough that Foxbat wouldn't be any real threat.

 

If it comes to blows, she'll just try and figure out a crime he has that is pending so that she can justly arrest him and send him to jail. He seems kind of... pathetic. She wouldn't want to hurt the guy. She just would want him gone.

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Well, let's see what Starguard can try...

 

[i'm not even going to try and write dialogue for Foxbat -- I don't have the knack. You can figure out the general tone of responses from her replies.]

 

"Would you please stop hanging outside my window at 3am?"

 

"No thank you, that's not my favorite song."

 

"There's a team meeting tomorrow."

 

"No, they really do run late a lot."

 

"I have to cook dinner."

 

"I'll be at a friend's house."

 

"I'm not sure, but I'll probably be at another friend's house."

 

"Of /course/ I have lots of friends. /You/ think I'm cute, don't you? Why should you be the only one?"

 

"No, they're not my boyfriends! I don't have any boyfriends... oops."

 

"And I'm not looking for one! Not this month, anyway."

 

"Because I'm not ready for a relationship."

 

"*ahem* "Can we please keep this conversation PG-rated?"

 

"No, I am not going to agree to go on a date with you just to make you go away. That would be wrong."

 

"And it probably wouldn't work."

 

"And if I gave away a date to anybody who was annoying enough, it would set a really bad precedent."

 

"No, that's gliding. /This/ is flying."

 

"If you don't put that ping pong ball away /right now/, you'll be walking home... from Canada."

 

"Northern Canada."

 

"Do you act like that when you're not in costume, too?"

 

"You don't?"

 

"Perfectly normal? I'd like to see that."

 

"No, it will /not/ be a date. It will just be the two of us meeting in a public place, without our costumes on, so that we can see what you're like when you're not pretending to be Foxbat."

 

"That is not what I meant by 'no costumes'! Foxbat no baka!"

 

*hauls out giant blazing cosmic mallet*

 

 

OK, so Jeff probably isn't going to go for /that/ ending. :)

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Lady Silver would probably try to talk Foxbat out of his latest crazy idea and guide him into therapy. Given that she's a real bleeding heart, this could go on for a while since she would hate to lose a chance to reform him.

 

Nova: better put those combat levels into your DCV! Hates villiains, little sense of humor, bad temper... ok she's an alien but hey maybe Foxy could go for that. At least until he's a crisp.

 

Starknight: probably ignore him. If he didn't stop, she's probably TK him into a lake.

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