Christopher Posted January 3, 2012 Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 In brightest day, in blackest night, No evil shall escape my sight Let those who worship evil's might, Beware my power... Green Lantern's light! I have a character that is somewhat similar elements and I really like the oath, so I wanted to adapt it. The basic story is that humanity (or whats left of it after 2 additional world wars and two planetary exody, we talk about 10 thousand lives) settles in a distant system, on a Planet called "New Eden". Then they find out how to send a single person back trhough time and space, to prevent WW 3 and thus their own civilisation from ever comming to pass (and saving a few billion lives + following generations in the process). That is my hero. So here is what I got so far about their military/hero oath: In [missing 1] day, in [missing 2] night, No foe of humanity shall escape my sight Let those who threaten innocents lives, Beware my power...New Edens Knight! The parts I need help with are what I marked as Missing 1 and Missing 2. I would like this to be names of plantes/celestial bodies in the new systme. I would like these names to be founded in Earth Mythology. Since that is a new star system, we are not limited to the names used in our solar system. The "day" planets/bodies name should be one that implies a very birght world, perhaps even one with perpetual day. While the "night" planet should imply a really dark place, maybe even on in perpetual night. Both could be moons (as this might allow for pertual "onesidedness" easily). Anybody got an idea? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjalund Posted January 3, 2012 Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 Re: Help with modifiying the Green Lantern Oath/Earth Mythology In brightest day, in blackest night, No evil shall escape my sight Be he alive or be he dead I'll grind his bones to make my bread! - Burma Shave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McCoy Posted January 3, 2012 Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 Re: Help with modifiying the Green Lantern Oath/Earth Mythology Humm, [missing 1]: Lucifer, Auora, Ra, Apollo, but to fit the meter should be two syllables. So Venus, Isis, Vulcan. [missing 2]: Erebus, Nyx (or Nox), Hecate, nothing approperate comes to mind Not really wild about the AABA rhyme scheme. It worked for Robert Frost, in this case not so much. Second line needs work, doesn't really roll off the tongue. How about By Vulcan's day by Nox's night Humanity's spirit still survives! The power of New Eden's Knight Smites those who threaten innocent lives! Still rhyming "night" and "Knight." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Posted January 3, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 Re: Help with modifiying the Green Lantern Oath/Earth Mythology Humm' date=' [missing 1']: Lucifer, Auora, Ra, Apollo, but to fit the meter should be two syllables. So Venus, Isis, Vulcan. [missing 2]: Erebus, Nyx (or Nox), Hecate, nothing approperate comes to mind Not really wild about the AABA rhyme scheme. It worked for Robert Frost, in this case not so much. Second line needs work, doesn't really roll off the tongue. How about By Vulcan's day by Nox's night Humanity's spirit still survives! The power of New Eden's Knight Smites those who threaten innocent lives! Still rhyming "night" and "Knight." Intersting approach. The designation as "Eden's Knight" was only because I needed something Rhyming to Night/replacing Might in the last strophe, so it doesn't needs to be in there. I'd like to keep the "in" in the 1st strophe, so "In Vulcan's day, in Nox's night". Gave ma a different idea for the 3rd: "With all that's left of Edens might" (to focus on the fact that she is the last) or perhaps "With all the Sum of Edens might" (she has/is the best stuff they ever created) Perhaps some mroe about them, to better draw a picture of their scoeity: As far as humans can go, they have a perfect soceity. No Crime, equality to all. sure, a lot of that comes from the fact that they are so very few, but they also had a few years to get past all human problems. In fact they are so emotionally advanced, the moment they learned that they could send somebody back through time - even if the results was a 100% chance of killing their entire civilisation in the process - they just did it. (Humantiy got to that system by virtue of two ancient alien portals - one in sol, one in New Eden System. Sending her back blew up at least the one in Sol. And in theory their timeline just ended to moment they shot her through). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Posted January 3, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 Re: Help with modifiying the Green Lantern Oath/Earth Mythology That remidns me of an earlier version, where I couldn't formulate the 2nd sentence. Naming the Civilisation "Edonia" I get: In Vulcan's day, in Nox's night Edonias spirit still survives Let those who threathen human lives beware my power... New Edens Knight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McCoy Posted January 3, 2012 Report Share Posted January 3, 2012 Re: Help with modifiying the Green Lantern Oath/Earth Mythology Perhaps some mroe about them, to better draw a picture of their scoeity: As far as humans can go, they have a perfect soceity. No Crime, equality to all. sure, a lot of that comes from the fact that they are so very few, but they also had a few years to get past all human problems. In fact they are so emotionally advanced, the moment they learned that they could send somebody back through time - even if the results was a 100% chance of killing their entire civilisation in the process - they just did it. (Humantiy got to that system by virtue of two ancient alien portals - one in sol, one in New Eden System. Sending her back blew up at least the one in Sol. And in theory their timeline just ended to moment they shot her through). Coming from such a culture (and a small gene pool) I assume one of her disads is an absolute code vs killing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Posted January 4, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2012 Re: Help with modifiying the Green Lantern Oath/Earth Mythology Coming from such a culture (and a small gene pool) I assume one of her disads is an absolute code vs killing? Small genepool, not really: I actually inlcuded that to get an DNCP, but her base DNA comes from the earth around the time of her current adventures. She and 99 others where create using a cache originating somewhere around [adventure time]. They cloned them from that, made some minor genetic modifications (targetting stable personalities and some minor powers). Then they all where carried to term and raised normally. Around the time they all where 16-18, their destiny was revelead and then started a selection process. Of course, that puts her in a position to have to watch over her "gene-donor" and those of the other 99 and hopefully find out who the hell is collection DNA - and why some of those Donors have gone missing. Also, not an absolute CvK: While it is true that taking lives is to be avoided, she is able to do it in extreme circumstances (in fact that was a requirement). As such her CvK is only strong. She doesn't takes such stuff any lighter than the next hero, but she has to be able to overcome such a personal obstacle if it is in the way. Avoiding Strong Psych Complciations was very important for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted January 5, 2012 Report Share Posted January 5, 2012 Re: Help with modifiying the Green Lantern Oath/Earth Mythology That remidns me of an earlier version, where I couldn't formulate the 2nd sentence. Naming the Civilisation "Edonia" I get: In Vulcan's day, in Nox's night Edonias spirit still survives Let those who threathen human lives beware my power... New Edens Knight! Only thing I wonder about is the name of the civilization as Edonia and then New Eden. New Eden's Knight implies that she is from New Eden. What about "The human spirit still survives"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsalwayssunny Posted January 5, 2012 Report Share Posted January 5, 2012 Re: Help with modifiying the Green Lantern Oath/Earth Mythology Might be better still just to lose the rhyme scheme and meter of the original and just cobble together something new that has the same spirit so it's not wholly derivative. Or maybe you could modify the original Green Lantern oath which was a bit different and won't be as familiar to most readers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clonus Posted January 5, 2012 Report Share Posted January 5, 2012 Re: Help with modifiying the Green Lantern Oath/Earth Mythology In brightest day, in blackest night, No evil shall escape my sight Let those who worship evil's might, Beware my power... Green Lantern's light! I have a character that is somewhat similar elements and I really like the oath, so I wanted to adapt it. The basic story is that humanity (or whats left of it after 2 additional world wars and two planetary exody, we talk about 10 thousand lives) settles in a distant system, on a Planet called "New Eden". Then they find out how to send a single person back trhough time and space, to prevent WW 3 and thus their own civilisation from ever comming to pass (and saving a few billion lives + following generations in the process). That is my hero. So here is what I got so far about their military/hero oath: In [missing 1] day, in [missing 2] night, No foe of humanity shall escape my sight Let those who threaten innocents lives, Beware my power...New Edens Knight! The parts I need help with are what I marked as Missing 1 and Missing 2. I would like this to be names of plantes/celestial bodies in the new systme. I would like these names to be founded in Earth Mythology. Since that is a new star system, we are not limited to the names used in our solar system. The "day" planets/bodies name should be one that implies a very birght world, perhaps even one with perpetual day. While the "night" planet should imply a really dark place, maybe even on in perpetual night. Both could be moons (as this might allow for pertual "onesidedness" easily). Anybody got an idea? Lumine and Umbral. It has to be two syllables and no paired gods really work with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Posted January 5, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2012 Re: Help with modifiying the Green Lantern Oath/Earth Mythology Lumine and Umbral. It has to be two syllables and no paired gods really work with that. Okay, let's try it with that and one additonal modification: In Lumines Day, in Umbrals Night Ariah's Dream still survives. Let those who threathen human lives beware my power... New Edens Knight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsalwayssunny Posted January 6, 2012 Report Share Posted January 6, 2012 Re: Help with modifiying the Green Lantern Oath/Earth Mythology Is this Grey Angel? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Posted January 6, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 6, 2012 Re: Help with modifiying the Green Lantern Oath/Earth Mythology Is this Grey Angel? Yes. But she only has to recite this oath mentally when activating her multipower. Maybe verbally in one or two ocassions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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