Marcus Impudite

Devilfire: (Demon Half) Decide if any of the essorteric items would be worth the money and order. (Human Half) Continue surfing and see if there are any Baywatch reruns on.

May be disturbing to SOME?!! Dude, I had to run to the men's room and puke after reading the opening post and I'm a freak'n demon for crying out loud.

Originally posted by Cybernaut

Go to the atoll, grab the alien leader, and say, "Okay asshole, either tell me what's coming our way or Fox will soon be airing a real Alien Autopsy."

ROFLMDAO (Rolling On Floor Laughing My Demonic Ass Off)

Devilfire: (Demon Half) Seize total control of Greg's body, grab Rhea so he doesn't have to listen to Greg's bitching later, and stow away aboard the aliens' ship. (Human Half) Won't know what happened until he gets control back and finds himself and his girl aboard the ship

Devilfire: (Demon Half) So, the legends are true... (Human Half) "What? Am I in a bad episode of Highlander?"

Devilfire: (Demon Half) Snicker at this poser who calls herself a succubus. (Human Half) Would go about his business since the matter is pretty much resolved as it is.

For me: Read my sig. Just bring her to my place in something skimpy with a ribbon and bow on her head and it's all good.

Devilfire: (Demon Half) Would at first be tempted to rat him out just for the sake of screwing him over, but then decide to instead ask him where he can get a tracker implant for Rhea. If that whiny human he's sharing a body with insists on protecting that little powder puff, it wouldn't hurt to make the job alittle easier. (Human Half) "Fine. I'll keep your secret, but you owe me BIG TIME for dropping a bombshell like this on me."

Hell, even Seeker would have taken Frasier down in one phase... just before getting knocked out himself.

Originally posted by Tim

Q: Did you like how I kissed?

 

A: pounding headache, fever, body aches, yep its dinnertime.

Q: What did the buzzard say as it circled over that sick hiker?

A: Don't be so glumb my dear, you'll grow accustomed to me in time. You'll even come to call my Palace Of Eternal Darkness home.

Originally posted by Enforcer84

Q) You wanna know what myself and the missus got for christmas? You know already? Okay, what is it?

 

 

A) Santa told me there were two naughty lists.

Q) So what does ol' Saint Nick do the rest of the year?

A) I'll have a Roman Coke please.

Devilfire: Grab some popcorn, sit back, and watch the show. DF will only intervene if it looks like Villain A is going to win the fight.

Devilfire: Call in a favor to the old gypsy woman to get Rhea cured of the lycanthropy, then go on a serious search and destroy through the supernatural underworld for the dirty hair ball that infected her.

How about a mini-senerio where the PCs get to hunt down and brutally slaughter the wankers who produced Average Joe along with that trio of vacuous pretty boys they brought in during the last episodes.

Originally posted by death tribble

Q. Alright MacGuyver, I Dr Destroyer challenge you to build me the ultimate superweapon ! What will you need ?

 

A. I have a cuddly toy and I am not afraid to use it !

Q. What the hell is DT doing with that Teletubby?

A. At last, a woman has replied to my personal Ad...

If Toymaker is asking for superpowered backup to go after Artemis, I'll assume he armed her with some MAJOR firepower and plan accordingly.

Looks okay to me. Just don't get arrested for indecent exposure.

Originally posted by zornwil

Q: I heard that Texas' "it's a whole other country" campaign was way too successful, did you hear that?

 

A: Because I just never thought it would happen, not like this.

Q: How can you be that surprised that Carrot Top got elected president by a write in campaign?

A: That'll be $25,000,000 plus shipping and handling charges.

Don't forget to link an HA to it. 2d6 should be good stick. 4d6 or more if you want to make it really hurt

One should not forget the human element in all this. Until they develope an AI smart enough to handle the task 24/7, you still have to pay someone to sit infront of monitors watching video feed from the cameras. Human nature being what it is, somethings will get overlooked. Hell, unless the area under surveillance sees alot of action, the sheer monotony of the job could cure insomnia.

Originally posted by Klytus

Q: What happened to the guy left tied to the ground and covered in honey nectar?

 

A: She made a splendid gesture at him.

Q: Why did that cop arrest Nemesis?

A: Highway To Hell, Hell's Bells, and Big Balls

Originally posted by Tim

Q: So, What's it like working at the National Enquirer?

 

A:Tough and stringy as an old mule.

Q: So, how does the cafateria's meatloaf taste?

A: None of this was my fault, Oh Darkest Of Dark Lords. It all went down like this...

Originally posted by death tribble

Q. When Defender recovered his Superhero report card what one comment added by Foxbat sent him over the edge ?

 

A. Because he claimed to be going out with a Pittsburgh Steelers cheerleader and as any fool knows the Steelers do not have cheerleaders.

Q: So, how'd you know he was a robot?

A: Because it was blocking my view of the shower in the girl's locker room.

So if you put a "Rated M for mature" in your thread title it's all good?

Originally posted by Klytus

Q: What is the oddest request you've ever seen for a cherry topped chocolate sundae?

 

A: I just close my eyes and pretend she's wearing a Cardigan (sp?) sweater.

Q: Is it true you're girlfriend likes to dress up as a furry during sex?

A: [singing]Now, the D and the A, and the M and the N, and the A and the T, and the I-O-N. Lose your face, lose your name, and get fitted for a suit of flame.[/singing]