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Everything posted by Bazza

  1. Wonders ceased centuries ago. Gen X might be the last generation that remembers them.
  2. Shouldn’t it be five stars?
  3. If there’s no axioms, it’s not a science.
  4. Butt-Headed Astronomer still gets a giggle.
  5. So, basically, you gotta fake it to make it.
  6. Top two posts on this page have been updated, as the jokes were duplicated. Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory? - She was fed up with the hole business.
  7. Q: How do you get a hipster to eat a hot dog? A: Put it in a man bun.
  8. Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk.
  9. Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym? A: To get better buns.
  10. Police were called to a daycare centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
  11. Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He'd stop at nothing to avoid them.
  12. I suffer from kleptomania, but when it gets really bad, I take something for it.
  13. I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
  14. So what if I can't spell Armageddon? It's not the end of the world
  15. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
  16. What is Forrest Gump's email password? 1Forrest1
  17. I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
  18. I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
  19. I put all my spare cash into an origami business. It folded.
  20. I work in a paper factory, where my responsibilities are twofold.
  21. Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months.
  22. I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
  23. Did you hear about the 2 silk worms in a race? It ended in a tie!
  24. Want to hear something terrible? Paper. See? I told you it was tear-able.
  25. I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
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