Re: Jokes
I see yours and raise you FUNNY blonde jokes!!!
A computer told a blonde "you have mail", so she got in the car and drove to the post office.
A blonde and a brunette were watching the 11:00 pm news. The current news story was about a man up on a ledge and threatening to jump, when the station cuts to a commercial. Brunette: I bet you $20 he's going to jump. Blonde: OK.(Back to newscast : He jumped!)Blonde: OK. I lost. Here's my $20 to you. Brunette: No, that was too easy. I can't take it. Blonde: I insist. I lost. Brunette: I have a confession to make. I saw the same thing on the 6:00pm news and I knew he jumped. So it wasn't really a good bet. Blonde: I know. I saw the same newscast at 6 too. But I didn't think he would be stupid enough to jump TWICE!.
A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read! " "It has NO plot and far too many characters! "The librarian looks up and calmly remarks -"So, you're the one who took our phone book... "
A Blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter? " The Blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away. " "I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day.. we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest. " The Blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here. " The boss agrees and allows the Blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says. A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the Blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the Blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help? " "No," replies the Blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too! "
I think I posted this one a few days ago, worth reposting it:
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you. " She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde. " The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde? "
and to finish off with a non-blonde joke:
you know how there are many blonde jokes, dirty jokes, lawyer jokes, and Irish jokes, so why aren't there many bald jokes? Because baldness is no laughing matter.
