Weldun

You have to understand that @Drhoz works outdoors, has been on holidays and returned to work during a heatwave.
Quotes are inbound, but my man needs some recovery time. 😉

Drhoz (pron: Droz, BTW, not Dr Hoz), used to record and transcribe back in the day, but lack of energy/spare time means that he Google Docs it during sessions, then a tidies up when he gets around to posting.

You have to understand that @Drhoz works outdoors, has been on holidays and returned to work during a heatwave.
Quotes are inbound, but my man needs some recovery time. 😉

You have to understand that @Drhoz works outdoors, has been on holidays and returned to work during a heatwave.
Quotes are inbound, but my man needs some recovery time. 😉

A toss up between...
 
"A beauty? She is one without peer. The Lady has had many statues erected in her honor."
"...among other things."
 
or
 
"What his armor will not deflect, I am sure his skull will."

"Of all your muscles, your tongue is always the last to tire."
 
"And yet, my fearsome friend, that piece of pink prized by pedlars, priestesses and princesses across the land has done more to lift you out of danger than thy terrific thews."

Long after-the-fact comment:
 
<sing> We all live in an eldritch horror's dream, eldritch horror's dream, eldritch horror's dream...

It's certainly been a very eventful evening at the Kintargo Opera House, what with Lord-Mayor Barzillai Thrune's attempt to murder hundreds of civilians and blame the Ghosts of Kintargo. To our profound relief, we've actually managed to kill most of the devils he was going to use, and the civilians trying to flee can all turn around and watch as we finish off the ones we now outnumber. Although it's probably just as well we're all still in our Masquerade costumes - we don't want to make it TOO easy for the authorities to hunt us down when they inevitably retaliate.
 
The Bone Devil dives to the relative safety of the floor, despite the fact it’s crawling with highly motivated adventurers - and cops Ankylosaur To The Face AGAIN as the dinosaur cosplays as Anguirus. Ayva makes a mental note for the future opera’s stage directions, to suitably represent a Bone Devil’s head getting exploded like a watermelon and its remains crashing into the orchestra pit. For that matter the small part of Terzo’s brain that wasn’t preoccupied by terror and the fact he nearly just died in the last five minutes is certainly complaining that the opera about the rebellion needs some original arias, not whatever old ones he came up with on the fly. Obviously, the opera will have to have Nox as the main character. An entire (completely fictional) redemption arc, invented scenes between her and Thrune, and dramatic reveals. Plus half of it is already set at the opera house.
 
Terzo: I imagine the authorities in Cheliax will be rather confused as they study the libretto. I look forward to it being banned - Just means more sales elsewhere. Might need to consult a cleric of Sarenrae to make the character redemption believable.
 
Painted Nox finishes off the intoxicated Dotarri.
 
Dotarri: Is that Nox? She looks …. Attractive?
Painted Nox: *poleaxe*
Dotarri: ****!
 
Rajira slashes up the already dazed, prone and bleeding Erinyes, and adds a few more Status Effects to give her a Very Bad Day. Chough ensures it’s the devil’s last day by tearing her open like a cheap dog toy and wearing her lungs as a hat. 
 
Looking around we discover to our surprise that we’re all still alive, albeit rather battered. Ayva is in the odd position of wanting to hug the ball of fire, but then Shimza’s healing flames are rather odd. At least that, and the flying ankylosaur, will ensure some rumours that the Ghosts of Kintargo have a dragon on their side. It’s true, too, although Vendelfek is hardly as deadly as the rapidly spinning Ornithischian.
 
We have Painted Nox carry ‘Thrune’s’ body to the Opera House doors, after Terzo hurriedly feeds her speech based on the final scene of The Red Tyrant. He’ll have to rewrite that for his eventual opera about recent events in Kintargo - he doesn’t want to be accused of plagiarism.
 
Rajira uses the window we threw the real Nox through to sing her aria from Huntress of Heroes, a piece she was due to perform prior to Thrune closing the opera house (and, additionally, petrified Shensen, star of Kintargo opera). Her roll comes out to 41. It’s quite possibly the most sublime performance the Opera House has ever seen. Everybody within earshot, probably including some of the Dotarri, are now dedicated to the rebellion. As news spreads, we’ll have well over 10% of Kintargo on our side.
 
Civilla’s inhumanly sneaky homunculus Luster explores the Opera House basement while Ayva hurries off to deal with the petrified Shensen while all this is going on - the rest of us can fly off on the Ankylosaur if we have to, although that might be rather conspicuous. Luster finds a vault, and a very creepy coffin.  If we move the coffin and Shensen to the bottom of the pond in Aria Park using the grotto connecting the two, we can have one of our teams move them to one of our safehouses later. If that coffin DOES contain the vampire we speculated was feeding on Thrune, there’s quite a few precautions we’ll need to take, but we do have some options to turn it human again regardless.
 
Painted Nox returns with Thrune’s body. 
 
Painted Nox: It’s a fake.
Civilla: … it’s Cizmerkis, isn’t it.
Avya: What, really?
Terzo: I’m sorry, who’s Cizmerkis?
Civilla: …Ah… er… I’ll explain later. Business Associate.
 
There are certainly some aspects of the contract that Civilla will have to consider, if Cizmerkis actually suffered True Death. Another thing she might want to consult an actual lawyer about - preferably one of the Inevitables, immortal creatures of pure Law. If Cizmerkis was Summoned as a Greater Planar Ally and Polymorphed for this entire trap, then he’s stuck as a corpse until the spells wear off.
 
Avya: Shimza saved our lives today. Cure Moderate Wounds would not have cut it.
Civilla: I’ll say. “Where’s your healer?’ ‘Up in the rafters’ “Oh dear’ ‘Directing the Flaming Ball of Healing’ ‘ I'm sorry, what?”.
 
We’ve also earned enough XP from this evening to level up TWICE.
 
Once we get that casket somewhere safe, we unseal it - after Civilla casts Daylight. Inside is a very surprised Jilia Bainilus, and she is, indeed, a vampire. So that’s what happened to the missing former Mayor.
 
Civilla: *holds up a Elixir of True Resurrection* I have a cure.
 
Jilia seems very much in favour of that even as her new vampire abilities try to Dominate us. We seal her up again, move her out into the sunlight, open it up to burn her to dust, and pour on the potion. The restored Mayor is understandably rather annoyed with Thrune and his allies. She’s not the only one - hundreds of the most influential people in Kintargo now want Thrune’s head on a spike.
 
Rajira: They probably wanted his head on a spike already, just on general principles. Now they REALLY want it.
 

Pathfinder : Chronicles  of Selversgard pt.16
 
In which the party encounter their most vicious opponent yet - small town politics
 
We never actually confirm WHY that werewolf woman in the isolated cottage was involved in giving that Hellknight unwanted body-hair. Maybe she was lonely. But the involvement of that Kyton was enough reason for us to get home as fast as possible and barricade the doors. But the next six months are uneventful, at least in terms of artistic dismemberment.
 
Eddison enjoys the peace and quiet. Arram, on the other hand, needs to make some marriage arrangements in a hurry. Apparently the apothecary was out of prophylactic tea - but then, given the epidemic that ran through the Ysoki warren, Skave was probably busy with that. Too late to save one of his infant children, alas. The new sewer system the Ysoki have installed under Selversgard should have helped to prevent a more severe outbreak, at least.
 
Galiante has arranged a two-week get-away at Shev’s hunting lodge way outside Selversgard, mostly as a break from their own kids.
 
On the other hand, yet more tunnels have been discovered under the town. They’re flooded, which is unsurprising given the local water table, but you do have to wonder exactly how much is buried under the town. Eddison hopes nobody remembers he’s an aquatic elf. The next council meeting discusses the issue, among more mundane matters. As usual, the current mayor hasn’t actually bothered to show up, but his second is up to the task. Some of the issues have been brought up at every meeting for the last five years, but that wouldn’t surprise anybody who has ever been on a committee.
 
Eddison, Miya and Arram are actually in attendance when Halvari Ajeri, the representative of the Fishermens Guild, keels over dead.  Nobody seems to be leaving the room surreptitiously. Admittedly he wasn’t a young man, but Miya notes that one of the late councilmember’s eyes has a wildly blown-out pupil. Mother Maybell diagnoses a stroke.
 
Mother Maybell: What can I say? It was his time - he’s with the Goddess now.
Miya: I take it the meeting is adjourned?
 
They fetch some linen, and Eddison transports the body on a Floating Disc. At least the funeral will be tomorrow.
 
Eddison: So we don't have to put him in the river to keep.
 
Eddison takes the opportunity to talk to the head of the Militia, who’s been pushing for an expanded militia for years. Eddison sympathises - he wants to expand the entire town. 
 
Eddison: Why not establish a Town Guard? Only a few people, but that’ll be a separate budget item!
 
Plus there’s a vacancy on the council now. There’s going to have to be an election. Of course, only current members of the council can actually approve new members. No wonder nothing significant has changed in Selversgard for the last few decades.
 
Eddison: Speaking as an elf, this is a recipe for stagnation.
 
The Council can be divided more or less into two factions, traditionalists and progressives. Gelvert  (usually represented by his son Gelbert), the late Helvari Ajeri, and Killane Shellsdotter are solidly traditionalist and see little advantage in changing a winning formula. Blake and Kregor both want to see more manufacturing and artificing come to Selversgard, enabling the sale of more finished goods and not just raw lumber, and they have the support of Vandruber and the Eastlake Company. Kregor also wants to upgrade his men's kit - get proper longbows and better armour, maybe even some of those newfangled gunpowder weapons, but he never gets the budget. Knobroc, when present, tends to side with them, but he was elected to counter the Fishermen’s Guild. Silas of the Green has surprised a few people by supporting some of the progressive proposals, though never when it comes to the possibility of expanding the town.
 
Helvari’s son Aldo naturally assumes he’ll inherit the position as guildmaster and councilmember. He’s a good man in an emergency, but when given the luxury of time tends to agree with whoever talked to him last. But Skiri Olafsdottir, head of Olaf and Family Boatwrights, also put her hand up, and has significant support. She’s certainly more determined than Aldo.
 
Miya: Willing to compromise, but would prefer not to.
 
Miya’s husband Falx is not on the council already, and this situation has him quite excited. And the Ysoki warren approaches Shev and Skave - they want representation on the council too.
 
Shev: Once I stop laughing I’m going to introduce you to our cousin the healer, because there’s clearly something wrong with you.
Ysoki: But you’ve dealt with the council before?
Shev: And look how quickly they accepted the proposal I leave town. I recommend our cousin Romilda - she actually lives in town and is less likely to blow the place up.
 
And then Arram receives a delegation too - Roger, Knobroc and Sennsa-Auel the elven madam - they want more representation for small businesses. Roger, in fact, is willing to stand down if Arram will take his place. They might not OBJECT to the Fisherman’s Guild having a voice of the council - they just hope it’s not Aldo.
 
Knobroc: Although there have been some grumblings about your relationship with one of your students.
Arram: A FORMER student. A fair proportion of the town are my former students by now.
Knobroc: Fair point.
Arram: … I’m going to have THREE jobs and a new kid.
 
His religious education classes have some objectors too.
 
Arram OoC: I took a freaking level in Religion for those classes! They’re just looking for something to complain about.
Miya: ‘Gods exist. Thus endeth the lesson’
 
But then being an atheist in Golarion is a losing proposition, unless your position is that the gods neither require nor deserve your worship. You might fit in in the nation of Rahadoum, though - they banned all religion. 
 
Arram canvases some of the other business owners, such as Gonno. He assures the Oread that since the council only meets monthly, and he won’t be Mayor for at least 5 years, he can handle the double-duty as schoolmaster. He also asks how Gonno’s children are doing - which, if the carpenter was more talkative, would lead to hours of happy boasting. Clearly his daughter is going to be a carpenter - look at how much hammer damage she’s done to the wall. Arram makes his excuses, and is sent on his way with a cold beer and goat cheese. He gets more refreshments at Miya and Falx’s place, while talking with them and the forestry rep Blake, but as he is heading to the Warren doubles over with agonizing gut cramps. Miya and Falx are suddenly taken ill as well. The three reach Mother Maybell’s place at the same time, seeking medical aid. She diagnoses poison. 
 
Arram: Thought so. (OOC: That’s usually why I need to make mysterious CON saves.)
 
Blake is not at home. Hopefully he hasn’t keeled over somewhere. Kragor and the militia find him, eventually, between two of the houses. Alive, but not well. It seems certain the poison was in the bottle of wine they shared. None of the servants recall even serving wine. 
 
Arram: Genuine Magnimaran Leaded Wine.
Miya: Extra sweet.
 
Skave analyzes the residue - it’s a mineral poison, usually used as a slow poison. The four victims just got an acute dose of arsenic. He prepares antidotes, while Arram checks on the other candidates. Skiri is busy at work on a Pinnace.
 
Shev OoC: It’s the finest Pinnace I’ve ever seen. Huge.
Skave’s player: You’re doing that deliberately.
 
Skiri Olafsdottir: Poison? I didn’t think the politics around here was THAT bad.
Arram: Honestly, neither did I.
 
She’s already worked through lunch, and nobody has left a plate of food anywhere for her to snack on. Arram moves on to check on Aldo. He’s out on the river.
 
Miya: A perfect alibi.
 
Skiri is certainly a more popular candidate than Aldo, although Aldo does have more influence. But Arram has made more impact on town, and influential friends besides. So it’ll be the boatwright and the teacher assuming places on the council. It’s ironic that Arram has always thought himself a conservative figure, but he might be responsible for some real change in Selversgard.
 
Skave: I buy Arram a bottle of wine to congratulate him and to apologise for all the times I’ve set him on fire.
Miya: He was just poisoned by a bottle of wine.
Skave: I checked it first!
 
Eddison has business for the new council - he requires permission for a new inn in town.
 
Eddison: I either work at the place some people avoid because the Yellow House is next door, or the place that smells of fish guts!
 
Eddison: I want to focus on the eating side of things.
Miya: Then we come to the important question, what are you going to call it?
Eddison: …..
Gonno: Hello?
Eddison: I’m thinking!
GM: The Crickets Chirping?
Eddison: I’m sure I’ll think of something before we open.
 
If he builds it on a jetty, or incorporates a living tree into the building somehow, Eddison can avoid most of Silas the Green’s objections. Especially if we do the druids some kind of favour first. And if he leans on his charisma half the people in town will give him discounts on everything else he needs to build his new inn.
 
Eddison: I’m fabulous, just ask me.
 
But the ‘servant’ that placed the poisoned wine is never identified. And part of the Ysoki warren collapses into more of those mystery tunnels. And while scouting the riverbed after a boat collision, Eddison finds an ominous dome protruding from the mud. It once had a statue on top - that’s what the boat hit.
 
And, alas, Arram does not become a father. A sad start to his new career, and the eighth year of the campaign.

Regardless of how the next few minutes play out, the rebellion in Kintargo is going to have to wildly revise their threat estimate of Lord-Mayor Barzillai Thrune. The trap he laid would have devastated us, even if we hadn’t shown up. But it’s equally shocking how many resources he must have expended setting this up. 
 
Consider - in the Red Corner : Dozens of heavily armed Dotarri, Half a dozen Bearded Devils, a huge Bone Devil, an Erinyes, and a Contract Devil. Each of the devils has been concealed with expensive glamours and magical items until it was time to slaughter everybody in the building.
 
In the Blue Corner - Four artists and intellectuals and a few of their friends.
 
The Ghosts of Kintargo are not people suited to mass combat. In fact, our only member suited for face-to-face combat is Rajira’s cousin Mahat, who no doubt we’ll find sitting on a pile of dead Dotarri outside, later. Rajira is pretty deft with a kukri, true, but she got most of her skill at interpersonal violence while training for the Opera.
 
At least the Contract Devil is dead, if that was indeed Cizmerkis disguised as Thrune on the stage. And the Dotarri are clearly dismayed by the apparent death of their Lord-Mayor. But we're still seriously outnumbered, some of us are already badly wounded, and the assorted Devils have clearly identified us as People That Need To Die. Unfortunately the really big Azata is really a really big Bone Devil. They can turn invisible. And Fly. As Civilla, still up in the chandelier, will shortly learn to her cost. The Azata that was already flying is actually an Erinyes, and a horribly efficient sniper. And Rajira is having really, really bad luck avoiding the Bearded Devils. And one of the latter is paying attention to Terzo again. 
 
Then Civilla drops a Chthonic Ankylosaur onto the stage.
 
Civilla: If I kept the Xill around there was a real chance somebody would get implanted with more Xill.
Ayva: The opera about these events is going to be hilarious.
 
Happily, if Terzo dashes to the front of the orchestra pit then most of the party (and the Ankylosaur) can be buffed with the spell Good Hope. Another aria arises from the chaos.
 
Ayva: I can’t WAIT to see this opera.
 
Some of our other allies - Captain Cassius Sargaeta of the Chellish Navy, his boyfriend Marquel Aulorian, and the faerie dragon Vendalfek - keep working on getting the civilians out of the building alive, without too many of them being trampled to death.
 
Up on the balcony the Painted Nox and original continue to mutually annihilate - happily our fake is smart enough to stick as close as possible to Thrune’s bodyguard, to prevent her using her own evil glaive to best effect. And the original Nox has a Baleful Gaze attack now, after tearing a pair of blinders from her eyes in a brutal display. 
 
Although that affects her own allies as well, and the Painted Nox is immune. And for that matter everybody is too busy to even notice her trying to catch their gaze. At least Shimza can do ranged healing in the form of Scorching Rays and Flaming Spheres that make people feel better (with the added bonus that the Bearded Devils pause their attacks on people that are apparently already on fire). And Civilla and Shimza can Dimension Slide to somewhere safer than the chandelier and hide in an Invisibility Sphere. And the Dire Corby we’ve been having trained by a barbarian is finally able to help in combat. She might not be optimised for Face-to-Face Combat but she’s very very good at Beak-to-Spine.
 
Ayva: Our Lady of Squawking Death.
 
Although she hasn’t actually dismembered anything but training dummies lately. We’ve been trying to teach her to use her rage constructively.
 
Ayva in Flashback: ‘No no, you don’t cut them in half, because that’s murder. And murder is…?’ ‘... and Murder is wrong’
Rajira in Flashback: No, murder is crows.
 
Still, the Bearded Devil that Chough lands behind is definitely going to be murdered, after she grabs each side of his head and tears him in half down the middle.
 
Chough: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE
 
Upstairs, our Painted Nox prevents the original from using the gaze attack again. Or gazing at anything ever again, by slicing her shiny magical glaive through both Nox’s eyes. If that WAS Cizmerkis the Xill killed, then the original Nox might just have been released from her contract, and is free to flee. Not that she can see to flee. Further, since it was Civilla’s Xill that landed the killing blow, she might be able to claim Nox’s contract by Right of Conquest. 
 
Terzo OoC: You MIGHT want to consult a lawyer on that idea first.
 
It probably won’t matter anyway - Civilla shadow-conjures a Holy Javelin and runs her through - Arcane Casters are ridiculously versatile. The original Nox staggers as holy light and clarions ravage her, and gets pushed out a window to a Disney Death. Where everybody can see that there are clearly two Noxs, and this one was some kind of abomination, and our one a blazing figure of goodness.
 
Rajira’s player: Oh god, we’re conflating two great songs - Blinded By The Light and Holy Diver.
 
The Bone Devil manages to critically injure itself (possibly it was blinded by the light of the Nox Kebab) but the Erinyes mages to mortally wound Terzo even as he’s trying to assist his friends with their own injuries. It can also see straight through the Invisibility Sphere. It’s just as well Shimza has an Amulet of Life’s Breath that Civilla made for her, to keep her going beyond any normal amount of injury.  
 
Civilla: We magic-users know exactly how squishy we are. 
 
At least the burrowing Ankylosaur continues to be effective. At the very least the nearly dead Ayva can hide behind it.
 
Civilla: I brought a siege engine to a knife fight.
 
Chough is certainly going through the opposition like a Ballista, too. She nearly kills a second Devil as it’s trying to Greater Teleport out of her way. And then the Ankylosaur becomes even more like a siege weapon, because Ayva casts Fly on it (and Rajira), from where she was hiding underneath. The Bone Devil and the Erinyes certainly weren’t expecting THAT. The concussed Erinyes crashes to earth just as the Euphoric Cloud obscuring half the room disperses. 
 
Rajira yells to Terzo get in behind the Erinyes while she attacks from the front, but this nearly backfires terribly as the Bone Devil casts Hemisphere of Ice first - or attempts to. It would seem it forgot about the Ankylosaur. You’d think a Flying Chthonic Ankylosaur would be difficult to forget. The devil gets thagomized in the face. At least if it suffers True Death at the dinosaur's tailclub it won’t have to explain to anybody what happened. That would just be embarrassing.
 
Painted Nox does a Superhero Landing from the balcony (Constructs with Regeneration don’t have to worry about broken ankles) and contributes to the flanking on the Erinyes. Rajira Flies in to the attack. Chough leaps clear across the orchestra pit to contribute some properly directed violence. Ayva adds Mydriatic Spontaneity, to keep the devil’s pupils constantly dilating and contracting and leaving it half-blind and nauseated. The dottari still intoxicated by the Euphoric Cloud watch all this with fascination, swaying slightly.
 

 
Ayva OoC: I can't wait until Civilla can summon Chthonic T. Rexes. 
Terzo OoC: We’ve all seen that episode of The Goodies.
 

And that was the end-of-session cliffhanger.

And that was the end-of-session cliffhanger.

My hero, upon meeting a couple guards (and me mis-speaking)...  "Well, we're alot smarter than we think you are!"
 
... everyone is quiet....  GM looks at me with a HUH? look....
 
... a few snickers...
 
... more laughing...
 
... everyone bursts out laughing...
 
GM finally says, "The guards are totally confused. You get past them."

I have to admit, our gaming groups tend to take an almost perverse pleasure in being anything BUT adventurers. Such as the "suprisingly dangerous archeologists" we played through The Mummy's Mask.

Once again, Thank you 

Pathfinder : Hell's Rebel's - Seaside Rendezvous
 
It would appear the criminal underground in Kintargo has a better information network than Thrune does. We know this for two reasons - 1) We haven’t been arrested and gruesomely executed, and 2) The head of the nascent Thieves Guild approaches us to ask if we intend to do to them what we did to the Grey Spiders. We don’t - a new organized crime network isn’t really a concern at the moment. Some of us certainly have PLANS for Kintargo, and they probably aren’t as utopian as Terzo’s, but the woman in question accepts our neutrality and even offers a few magical items to seal our non-aggression pact. 
 
Speaking of pacts, there’s a few issues in the wider geopolitical situation we have to pay attention to - making alliances to strangle the Chellish government’s ability to respond to the rebellion, and ensuring that international trade keeps coming through Kintargo whether Barzillai the Dogf***er likes it or not. Although we hear that there’s a much larger and shockingly successful rebellion happening in other parts of the Chellish Empire ( or what’s left of it). They’re mobilizing their armies in response, but all far away from Kintargo. Now might be the perfect time for Kintargo to break free entirely. 
 
The noble families of Kintargo have been getting a bit stirred up too - Thrune’s arrogance must be rubbing them the wrong way. Either that or they miss going to the Opera - Thrune again. It’s remotely possible that the extermination of the Victocora family is also a factor, and not just an opportunity for them to snap up property at bargain prices (Fire Sale! Everything Must Go!). The families in question, and members of the so-called Court of Coin -
 
Archbaroness Eldonna Aulamaxa - Lover of hunting and the Kintargan Opera. That combination certainly implies a build like Sybil Ramkin and opera tastes leaning towards the Germanic.  Count Auxis Aulorian - Controls Salt and Silver in Kintargo, currently looking for his son who mysteriously vanished, knows a lot about the workings of the new Kintargan government, May possibly be bribed?  
Civilla: Never use the same lever on two people - his son is already our 'in' with Captain Sargaeta. 
 
Archbaroness Melodia Delronge - Interests in Horsemanship, Mercantilism and Hunting, Currently allied with the throne. Baroness Belcara Jarvis - The Jarvis Clan are builders and Architects. Fairly down to earth. Baron Canton Jhaltero - Long family feud with the Alazarios, Rival Intelligence network, trades in Stone and Silver, Combining both networks could be useful  
Civilla: It's already obvious that our clans see eye to eye and therefore don’t like each other. 
 
The Sarinis used to have a presence in Kintargo but recently the last few left in some haste. Probably related to that little incident with the gate to hell, and the local patriarch being eaten. House Sarini is one of the better-known noble families of Cheliax, for no good reason - they’re nicknamed the "Fools of Thrune" or the "Lapdogs of Hell". Members of the house are often sent to amuse crowds at public executions in the capitol entertaining the common folk with their dark and violent humor. It is currently unknown whether members of this house do this voluntarily, or if their debased profession is a result of an offense against House Thrune.
 
Count Geoff Tanessen - Blacksmiths, Military tacticians and Suppliers, Armorers Baron Sendi Vashnarstill - House Vashnarstill are known to be more more loyal to the city of Kintargo itself than to the Chelish Crown or House Thrune. Their business interests are known to include fishing, trade with distant Arcadia, and shipbuilding.  
The Alazario’s aren’t members of the Court of Coin, for a couple of reasons. Being spread so thinly within and without the Empire doesn’t help, and repeatedly butting heads with the ruling family does them no favours at all. We do have one way to influence Archbaroness Aulamaxa - between Civilla’s tea circle, and Terzo and Rajira’s opera connections, we can meet her socially and introduce Rajira as a Diva-in-Training. Since we’ve been scrupulously careful to avoid notoriety, there’s all kinds of social events we can arrange without attracting suspicion from Thrune. We’re the Ghosts of Kintargo - the Inquisitor is probably certain that SOMETHING is going on, but we’ve left no clues about how many of us there are, or how organized. 
 
Civilla: Stuff keeps HAPPENING. Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action.
Ayva: There was that time we got the prisoners out of the jail…
GM: That was supposed to be a jailbreak! You just walked in with clipboards!
 
Rajira and Terzo put together a little piece for Rajira to perform, based on Aulamaxa family history, and hunting. It goes quite well. 
 
Rumourmongers: Heard from a merchant ship that sailed too close to the Dismal Niche that there were strange fires burning on the shore. Place is haunted, for sure. Who in their right mind would live there?
Ayva: Let's put ‘possible undead’ down on the list, OK?
Rumourmongers: Heard that Thrune’s going to throw a costume ball for the city at the opera house, and that invitations will be going out across all walks of life. If that’s true... maybe Barzillai isn’t all bad?
Terzo: He’s never struck me as a very sociable person - what’s his real motivation?
Rajira: This is a major costume ball - these things aren’t about being sociable. It’s all politics.
GM: Maybe he’s trying to soften his public image.
Civilla: We’ve been saying for some time now that he BADLY misjudged this city.
Rajira: If it happens, I’m going, whether I got an invite or not.
Civilla: But this is a diabolist we’re talking about.
Ayva: It does smack of ‘gathering components’.
Civilla: ‘Zone of Truth’.
Rajira OoC: Why can’t it wait until I go up another level!
Civilla: I know, I feel your pain…
Rajira: I'll have protection against Truth magic then…
Ayva: I’m going to have to do so many Tattoo Guardians…
Rumourmongers: Menador Gap’s all but closed to traffic, with one of the lord-mayor’s distant relations overseeing the closure. Only Thrune loyalists are being allowed through the pass!
 
There’s all sorts of factors that make organizing an uprising in a fantasy setting difficult, and some of those reasons are truth spells and telepathy.  
 
Ayva: “We’re going to mindread your kid, because kids hear EVERYTHING.”
 
We decide to investigate the reports from the Dismal Niche - it might be a way to build an alliance with the nearest Sea Elf city, if we’re lucky, and Captain Sargeata can get us there much faster than trying to get there overland. 
 
Rajira: We really aren’t designed for operating in the wilderness.
Civilla: I did just learn Secure Shelter.
Rajira: And we’re probably going to be using that spell a lot, without ever leaving the city, unfortunately. 
 
There’s also been a development in that toll to cross the bridge between the north and southern parts of town - hardly anybody paid it, because any blackshirts that tried to enforce it ended up at the bottom of the river, but now the toll is being enforced by Hellknights of the Order of the Rack, and it’s been increased to a gold piece per trip, or ten for a day pass. This, of course, is calculated to infuriate the rich half of town, because they now can’t get their services and supplies, and the stevedores can’t get from their homes to the docks.
 
Terzo: … wow.
Civilla: He really wants to strangle the internal trade in Kintargo, doesn’t he?
 
There’s been a sudden increase of unofficial ferry services across the river. Can’t imagine why. On the other hand, since the bounty on rats still stands, and Ayva has magical pigments, she can paint a fresh pile of dead rats every day and exchange them for a day pass, with the added bonus that she gets to dump thousands of dead rats at the feet of the Hellknights. Daily. 
It’s probably a good opportunity to recruit the Jarvis clan, and build a pontoon bridge. And start a strike by the night soil men. 
 
Civilla: And believe me, everybody takes a strike by the gongfarmers seriously. 
Ayva: How high is it going to get? Pretty damn high.
 
Even if Lord-Mayor Thrune had to use forced labour to empty the chamber pots and latrines of Kintargo, it'd be a major drain on his resources. On the other hand, it would not go well for the strikers, so it’s probably just as well that the rich part of town actually has a working sewer system. 
 
Terzo’s player: What can we do without Civilla available? Not that we can rely on all the characters being available whenever rebellion business needs doing. Rebellions are even more difficult to organize than regular gaming sessions.
 
Random encounter table! In the form of suddenly listing sharply in the middle of the night, in what should be suitably deep water.
 
Terzo: Is this one of those roaming sandbanks we hear so much about?
 
It’s actually a roaming gigantic crab, clambering up the side of the ship.
 
Terzo: I presume Civilla hit her head below decks somewhere. Is the Poison Pen about?
GM: The Captain doesn’t want his little Boopsy hurt.
Avya: He’s a noble, and therefore useless.
Rajira: Not entirely, they tend to have some skills.
Avya: Well yes, but for the purposes of combat with a giant crab?
 
Ayva: I’ll Cast Fireball!
GM: On a Wooden Ship?!
Rajira’s Player: With one of us grappled and in its square?
Ayva: Maybe Scorching Ray, then.
Terzo: Unfortunately most of my more potent spells require the crab to know Common. Can anybody Awaken it?
Ayva: Sure, if we have an hour and some silver to spare.
 
Captain Sageata proves why he’s the best captain in the fleet by Rolling a ridiculous Crit, severing both claws, eyestalks, and ramming his cutlass hilt deep into its ventral nerve cord. 
 
Rajira: Now the only question is ‘how much butter do we have on board’?
Terzo: Technically speaking I suppose you could eat most of our enemies, but it tends to be socially frowned upon. 
 
Terzo’s player: You do have to wonder why Willy Wonka thought random golden tickets would be a good way to find someone who can run a confectionary factory - unless he was looking for someone to take the fall when the immigration department takes an interest in all those Oompa-Loompas. 
 
The sea-elf village out this way is a sorry affair, and the resident half-elves that gather as we approach look nervous, haggard, and sickly. 
 
Fullblooded Sea-Elf: Who are you interlopers! You are not welcome!
Rajira: A bit rude to say that when you don’t even know why we’re here. 
 
Whatever illness currently plaguing the village is a serious one - quite a few of the villagers are near death. Fortunately our high skill with diplomacy and offer of healing goes a long way towards resolving matters. Although their Speaker, an elderly half-elf woman, tells us that the illness cannot be healed by normal means, and is the result of a foul miasma emanating from the Drowned Eye. The Eye is an underwater haunted pit, recently unsealed. She can help us with the breathing-underwater too, if we need it, although Civilla already has a Wand of Waterbreathing.
 
There are plenty of advantages to living in a city, but unfortunately it does leave one at something of a disadvantage when it comes to operating out in the countryside, where the wildlife tends to be a bit more energetic, and sometimes eldritch. Pigeons are a bit less dangerous than sharks, and a lot less dangerous than underwater zombies.
 
Terzo OoC: Of course Jaws 2 is also a great example of why it’s important to vote in local elections.
 
The wildlife isn’t the only thing eldritch about the Dismal Nitch either - it turns out the Drowned Eye projects a powerful compulsion to passing sailors to jump overboard. Not that it makes much difference to us, we were all going to jump into the underwater sinkhole anyway. Because, as previously mentioned, we’re way out of depth when it comes to countryside adventuring. 
 
We’ve never heard of nitrogen narcosis, for example.
 
Terzo OoC: Now why am I thinking of the anglerfish seen from Finding Nemo…
Rajira OoC: I’m thinking of the Navy SEAL leader from The Abyss myself.
 
Civilla: huh, shark. Wait, SHARK! NOT MY SHARK!
Ayva: We’ve going to need a bigger shark.
 
The gigantic undead selachian coming up the shaft is as long as ten men.
 
Civilla OoC: Well we already knew Civilla was a Snack. 
 
Rajira: Sharko!
Terzo’s player: Shako was a polar bear (and on a CIA death list)
Rajira’s player: OK, Hookjaw.
Terzo’s player: Better.
Civilla’s player: Bruce.
 
GM: Describe the kill!
Terzo’s player: Healing energy ripple across the undead flesh, generating visually disturbing waves of regeneration that react catastrophically with the negative energy animating its flesh, and it blows apart into fish fingers. 
Ayva’s player: I’d have said it explodes like somebody stuffed a compressed gas canister into its mouth and shot it. 
Rajira’s player: That IS traditional with sharks. 
 
The cavern at the bottom of the shaft has more undead, one in a captain’s hat. 
 
Draugr Captain: YARRBBLRR!  *knocks Mahat into a wall and deals negative levels*
 
Black Tentacles prove most effective, which is surprising since tentacles are most common underwater so you’d think underwater zombies would be used to them. But as we turn to return to the surface (hopefully without dying of The Bends) the spirit of an aquatic elf woman appears - is it nothing but undead down here? No wonder the neighbours are complaining. 
Apparently she’s the ghost of an elven druid who died trying to rebuild the protections around the Drowned Eye, and she’s quite surprised no sea elves showed up to deal with the situation at any point in the last few hundred years. 
 
Civilla: I’m afraid the current sea elves are, ah, not available. They’ve all come down very ill.
Menota the Druid Ghost: Ah. So that’s how the Evil has manifested. I don’t suppose any of you are druids?
Civilla: *would choke on her drink if she wasn’t already underwater*
Ayva: Armour, leather studded armour, so, no.
 
Terzo has missed most of this conversation since he’s still struggling in midwater like a quail chick in zero gee. At least we can go fetch the living elf druid Athannah from the surface now we’ve cleared up all the more feisty undead, as well as any material components the ghost needs for the ritual. 
 
Civilla: Would a Bishop Agathion serve the purpose? I have friends.
Terzo: *still oblivious to Civilla’s deals with extra-dimensional Powers* And four of them are right here.
Civilla OoC: I had to cut myself off from saying ‘I have friends on the other side’, because that’s an entirely different arrangement. 
 
Apparently based on his ability to summon pigeons, Bert from Sesame Street is a Druid. And Ernie is a Warlock, because he can summon fish and Boogie-Woogie Sheep. 
The sickly sea elves are a bit surprised to see us return, without reliving their symptoms.
 
Civilla: We’re working on it. 
Terzo: Assuming the ghost isn’t actually the Evil in disguise, and trying to lure the only living elf druid in the vicinity to her doom. Is there any way to check the moral alignment of a ghost?
Civilla: … yes, but it’s a bit late to bring that up NOW. 
 
It’s certainly a bit suspicious that Athannah doesn’t recognise the name Menotha, but then it HAS been a few hundred years. The ranger Nerrenn who was so suspicious about us when we first arrived insists on coming with us, by way of apology. 
 
GM: So, who’s going back down?
Civilla: All of us, I suppose. Something’s bound to go wrong.
Terzo: And this way I get to say ‘I told you so’.
 
Terzo: So, how exactly has it gone wrong?
Civilla: Nerrenn is a bad guy and you were right about the ghost.
Terzo: *sigh* I try to be optimistic but it’s always so depressing when this sort of thing happens. 
 
Menotha gestures towards group minion Mahat, the most obvious fighter in the party, who fails his paltry Will save.
 
Menotha: You, come fight for me.
Rajira OoC: Mahat only has a Wisdom of 6.
Civilla OoC: Mahat has a “Won’t” Save.
 
Menotha vanishes into thin water when Civilla Dimension Jumps into the other underwater chamber, which is a bit strange. Even so, we have a mind-controlled Nerrin and Mahat to deal with. Only for Civilla’s Cohort, the Phoenix Arcanist Shimza Tismanescu, to dispel the mental domination on Mahat. Terzo’s attempts to do the same on the presumably enthralled Nerrenn fail. 
 
Rajira OoC: I’m *hoping* someone can break him out of it before I have to kill him.
 
In the other chamber we find out why the ghost vanished. 
 
Deep Telepathic Voice, Right Behind Civilla: You just HAD to get in the way, didn’t you. 
Civilla: Eep!
 
The Aboleth drops its other illusions - Civilla’s teleport happened to put her in the way of the line-of-sight illusion it was casting. She’s also in the worst possible square in the entire cave system - right in the creature’s cloud of lethal mutagenic slime. It menaces her with tentacles. 
 
Rajira OoC: I’ve seen enough hentai to know where this is going.
Aboleth: *Slimes Civilla*
Rajira OoC: It even comes with its own lube. 
 
Portia casts Confess on Nerrenn - a spell that causes damage on targets that don’t answer truthfully.
 
Portia: What’s my middle name?
 
Civilla, already in very bad shape and looking somewhat… boneless… Dimension Jumps back into the main chamber and warns us about her discovery, with an understandable amount of excitement.
 
Civilla: ABOLETH! KILL IT!
 
She sics three Celestial Sharks on the alien abomination. The rest of us are still trying to subdue the ranger, rescue the living druid, and kill the non-celestial shark the Aboleth has mind-controlled. At least the Aboleth is now pretty preoccupied trying to keep the Celestial Sharks hypnotised, because every time its concentration wavers it gets bitten again. We are also questioning the wisdom of bringing fire-based magical attacks underwater. If it doesn’t have flame does it boil the water instead?
 
Terzo: But what about the criminal penalties for poaching? 
 
Anya OoC: If there’s an underwater section in the mountain fortress part of the campaign I’m going to be monumentally p****d.
 
The Aboleth eventually gives up the non-illusory ghost, and cautious poking around reveals that there are in fact some runes down here. They’re in Aklo, a very unpleasant language. Civilla, of course, can read Aklo. And, indeed, the Aboleth language Alghollthu, which is even worse. 
 
Terzo: As much as I appreciate the fact you can decipher this, Civilla, but exactly what books have you been reading lately?
Civilla: Just the family library.
Terzo: Hmm. I question some of their purchases.
Civilla: Remind me, dear Terzo, what’s my family motto?
 

 
 
The base runes radiate negative energy into the surrounding environment, although there’s supposed to be a warding layer preventing that. 
 
Terzo: Can we change it so it radiates positive energy?
Civilla: The world is supposed to be in balance - that would cause entirely different problems.
 
Although Terzo’s suggestion does suggest to Civilla that the Aboleth was actually messing with the runes itself, apparently intending to summon something huge, aquatic, and undead. We are able to unravel the entire rune array, after Rajira disables the traps.
 
Anya: It’s like one of those sliding tile puzzles.
 
The sea elves are suitably grateful, and promise to assist the Ghosts of Kintargo in future. That will be handy if the Chellish Navy gets involved in suppressing the rebellion.
 
Terzo: Don’t blame Nerrenn - he was being mind-controlled by an Abomination.

 

 

From this past weekend:
 
Hero previously flashed can see again: "Hey, I can see again?"
Villain that did it in the first place, "You can see again?"
Hero replies, "Yeah, I can see again... oh..."
Villain hits hero with flash attack again.  😛

Civilla’s player has been a bit shocked to learn that the Alazario family are actually canon in the Pathfinder setting, especially since they’ve played 3 different Alazarios across the various campaigns, and they’ve all been politically connected and cunning troublemakers. That pretty much describes the ones in the canon, too. An example of that cunning will feature in today’s episode.

Kintargo’s Ghosts spend much of the next fortnight on various schemes, including the installation of not just one printing press, but two - one upstairs printing legal stuff to cover the noise of the one printing all the libel underground. Not cheap, especially given the cost of cleaning out that cesspit and erasing the summoning sigils, and paying the workers for absolute discretion. We also plant the rumour that Thrune’s bodyguard Nox was seen fleeing the city, instead of occupying a number of unmarked graves under the Phantasmagorium. All but one of her team of Redactors are also thus interred. Just goes to show that good leaders lead by example.

We do hear rumours coming the other way, however, including whispers that more children are going missing, including twins from the Iudeimus tenement; that Captain Cassius Sargaeta of the Chellish warship Scourge of Belial is no fan of the current regime; and that the temporary jail currently occupied by many of Thrune’s enemies is also the residence of something far from human. Thrune has also massively increased the toll to cross the bridge between the north and south parts of the city, effectively cutting off the rich side of town from the poorer - and greatly inconveniencing the market stalls that operate on the bridge.

He’s also announced a Ninth Proclamation - that the Hellknight Order of the Torrent are now declared outlaws, all their properties seized, and that citizens are commanded to hand over any may have escaped the authorities. That might be because the Order of the Torrent really don’t like slavery, despite slavery being legal in Chelliax. Or he just wants to install a more loyal order of Hellknights in their place, such as the Order of the Rack.

Laria, a veteran of the Kintargo Coffee Wars, wants to know if we can help one of her rivals, at the Tooth and Nail. Given the fact that Setrona Sabinus is a cousin of the Torrent’s erstwhile leader the Lictor Octavio, we can take an educated guess about what kind of assistance she needs. Unless it’s a ploy to get all the people that might sympathize with the Hellknights in one place.

Setrona Sabinus: Thank you for coming - it’s been a bit of a week.
Rajira: I can imagine.

Apparently a fair number of the Hellknights were outside the city when Thrune tried to break them, and Setrona is confident that a man of Octavio’s code of honour will side with the rebellion given the chance, even if he disagrees with our methods. She even has an idea where he might be hiding - a small shrine in a swamp outside the city. Thankfully not too far - if we all vanish for a few days, people will notice. As it stands we should all leave Kintargo separately, and meet up outside. Suitable outfits might help, too - Civilla, for example, will be unrecognizable if she just wears an outfit that doesn’t cost a handful of gold. Rajira has a variety of outfits - for ‘entertaining’ - but not all of them are suitable for slogging across rough country even if they are made of leather.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FHlW2kBVIAg1ALh.png 

Civilla's player: It’s amazing how many people keep Link in the Gerudo Armour even after they leave that part of the game. On the other hand the unofficial name for Breath of the Wild is “Everybody Is Thirsty For Link”

Civilla's player: It still s***s me that Australians call the smallest things lakes or rivers.
Terzo's player: Well we have so few of them.
Civilla's player: ‘Welcome to Southern River’ ‘ What river? You mean this creek? That I can step over?’

The shrine is on the other side of a tidal stream that counts as flowing enough to frustrate many divination spells. Setrona has tagged along - it might help or may not. Her having the family signet ring certainly does.

Shrine Guardian: Who goes there!
Rajira: Friends! Seeking a friend.
Shrine Guardian: You already seem to have some.
Rajira: A particular friend who is … less than welcome in the city these days.

Shrine Guardian: The one you seek has been granted asylum below. If you wish to talk to him, you must prove worthy to pass the shrine of Saint Senex. Good luck, friends.

The shrine is filled with fog, which is a bit much given it’s dedicated to those that died at sea. The fact that the Saint expects us to perform artificial respiration on the statue of a drowned sailor is perhaps more understandable.

Lictor Octavio Sabinus is downstairs in a room with the magically preserved bodies of the drowned.

Rajira OoC: Camping with the dead? That’s usually a very bad idea.

Civilla: Yeah, he’s Chellish alright - look at that dour expression.
Rajira: And the widow’s peak and slightly pointed ears.
Civilla: Hey, the blood of the High Men is spread quite widely around the Inner Sea.

Lictor Octavius: Ah - the Ghosts of Kintargo.
Rajira: Our reputation precedes us.
GM: Let's face it, you’re not the Silver Ravens anymore.
Civilla: I plan on playing out the whole 'ghosts of Kintargo' thing to be the ghosts of the original Silver Ravens. The spirits of the vengeful dead come back to battle a great injustice.
Rajira OoC: Are you sure you’re not playing a bard?
Civilla OoC: I’m going to get Terzo to pretty it up, I’m just writing the basic outline.

Lictor Octavius: You are certainly hopeful idealists, but in my experience, passionate revolutionaries lack discipline. Like my cousin, you have good hearts, but it takes more than heart to stand up for what’s right. If I’m to throw in with the Silver Ravens, I need two things. First, I need to know that my surviving armigers are safe. Second, I need to know that the Silver Ravens are more than thugs who seek to fight in the streets—I need to know you can exercise subtlety and work at least partially within the bounds of the law to solve problems when such an option exists. As it so happens, this is a perfect chance for you to accomplish both goals.
Civilla OoC: This module really assumes we’re playing murder-hoboes, doesn’t it.

Civilla: If diplomacy doesn’t work there’s always having them chase non-existent shadows outside the city. Just providing options.

There’s also the thing his order was investigating when the Ninth Proclamation was released.

Lictor Octavius: We were investigating rumors that Lord-Mayor Bainilus didn’t actually flee the city for Arcadia as the government claims. I believe she’s been imprisoned—or worse—by Barzillai Thrune. It didn’t help that I took offense, quite publicly, at our new lord-mayor’s recruitment of the Order of the Rack as additional guards. The man spins webs like a spider, though I can’t decipher his design yet. Whatever his reason, I’ve come to believe it bodes ill for all of Kintargo.

The outlawed hellknight is concerned about repercussions to the citizenry if we do get his fellows out of prison. Terzo is very pleased about this, and shakes the man’s hand with both of his.

Terzo: Then I am very pleased to meet you, good sir! There is hope for the country yet! *hugs him firmly*
GM: He seems a bit taken aback.
Terzo's player: I don’t doubt it, but I’m quite sincere - if even one order of Hellknights has recognised that there’s a problem in Cheliax, it’s a good sign.
Rajira's player: ProblemS.

But then Terzo still hasn’t realised he’s the only Good member of the party, despite all the murderising, poisoning, and dismemberment going on in his vicinity. Denial is not just a river in Osirion.

The fugitive Hellknight also provides us with his mother’s mithril shortsword, which should convince the other members of the Torrent that we’re allies, and might be useful against the rumored demonic entity in the jail. At least we can still carry swords in public - Thrune hasn’t banned anything longer than a dagger yet.

Civilla does come up with one plan straight away - fake prisoner transfer papers. We perhaps shouldn’t be surprised she has a Masterworked Forger’s Kit and Esquire Attache Case. Alternatively we can blackmail the person in charge of the jail to send real transfer papers. Or better yet, forge an order that looks like it was forged by Nox. Civilla’s cousin might be able to help with that - he was one of her Redactors after all.

The warden of the Holding House is one Sabo the Spider, an Inquisitor of Asmodeus. It’s rumoured that she’s killed multiple lovers.

Terzo: I’m surprised she isn’t called Sabo the Black Widow.

We do come up with another name associated with the Holding House - one Ghenemahl, who is the only other permanent inhabitant of the Holding House, and one that even Sabo is scared of. Civilla casts Ears of the city, to determine 1) Who is Ghenemahl? - a Devil of considerable power and sadism; 2) Where are the prisoners being transferred to? - the Temple of Asmodeus, since they’ve been sentenced to be the first public Excruciations sanctioned by Thrune 3) Who else is a prisoner there? - four unlucky curfew breakers and halflings

There’s no way we’re going to leave those other innocents in the prison, so we have to get them out too. Civilla also considers planting a subtle compulsion on Sabo.

Terzo: So ‘clear out the prison, you have a lot more prisoners coming in?’
Civilla: ‘I’m sick of all the screaming, I want them out gone, out of my prison - the sanctimonious pr***s.’

Rajira suggests we disguise ourselves as Hellknights of the Order of the Rack - although whoever leads the group will have to carry the mithril sword so the armigers of the Torrent don’t kick up too much of a fuss when we drag them out. We’ll need to find out who does their laundry, even if Terzo and Rajira turn their theater skills to the rest of the costumery.

Rajira: And then I’m going to pull the old Purloined Letter trick, and go on a little nighttime excursion. Break into the laundry, replace the real uniforms with cloth, and start a fire.

GM: I must say I’m pleased to see you’re turning what could have been some simple dice-rolls into a whole investigation.
Terzo's player: Look at the way we played Shadowrun.

Will will need to copy the Lictor of the Rack’s handwriting and signature too.

Rajira: Time to go dumpster diving.

Although she’ll probably have to break into the Temple of Asmodeus to find some.

Civilla OoC: This is why you burn sensitive documents, people - otherwise, if they have enough pieces intact, one cantrip later you have the whole thing.

Civilla: I hope you don’t think badly of me that I have all these materials for forgery.
Terzo: I'm just glad all those calligraphy lessons I gave you helped.

Terzo leads the group of fake Hellknights of the Rack to the prison - as Civilla points out, he has the build of an officer that’s let himself go.

Civilla OoC: One of nature’s sergeants.

We also bring a cart to carry the prisoners.

Civilla OoC: I can’t believe we’re pulling one of Moist von Lipwig’s heists from the second book. I know you accuse me of having read the module, but I‘ve just read a lot of Pratchett.

Even Inquisitor Sabo would have difficulty recognising the forgeries, although she does look up when Terzo pauses at one question.

Sabo: And who are you representing?
Terzo: …
Sabo: *looks up suspiciously* A bit of a pause there?
Terzo: *gestures to the uniforms* The Order of the Rack - I would have thought it was obvious.
Sabo: Apparently. These days it’s hard to tell who’s who. *suddenly pointing at Ayva* You! How long have you been worshipping Asmodeus?
Terzo OoC: You could just tell the truth ‘Since before I joined the Hellknights’
Ayva: I’ve worshiped my God for about 50 years, ma’am.

Which is true-ish - she’s certainly been worshiping HER god that long.

Unfortunately, not all the prisoners are in their cages.

Gaoler: Uh, I’m afraid this prisoner isn’t available, ma’am.
Sabo: What? Where is she?
Gaoler: Ah, Ghenemahl has her, in the Interrogation room.
Sabo: Ah. Oh. Well, let’s go fetch her. You, get the rest of the prisoners ready.

Civilla OoC: And now Terzo has to lie to a devil of Law.
Terzo OoC: Believe me, I am keenly aware.

The armiger is bound to a rack, and has been gruesomely mutilated.

Ghenemahl: And who are you? Covered in lies, I can smell them on you. Do you wish me to remove them? You will just have to wait - I have this one to minister to.
Terzo: Hardly. We’re here to transfer the prisoners to the temple.
Ghenemahl: Come to ruin my fun, have you?
Terzo: I’m sure you’ll have more prisoners soon.
Rajira OoC: Probably Sabo, if this works
Ghenemahl: Well, show me the orders.
Terzo: *gestures to Sabo to hand them across*
Ghenemahl: The signature is misaligned on this one.
Terzo: *starts sweating bullets*
Ghenemahl: But they pass.

Civilla: *writes them a receipt for the manacles* Sign here please
Sabo: *signs*
Civilla OoC: And now I have a copy of her signature.
Ayva OoC: And we nonchalantly run away at top speed.
Rajira OoC: No we don’t - we drive the cart off in the direction of the Temple, THEN head off into an alleyway.
Civilla OoC: And get the Armigers into the fake uniforms so they can get out of the city. ‘Lictor Octavius says hello’

We were very lucky - the Bluff and forgery checks we needed to pass were in the 30s - and we only passed them by 1. But now we have the Hellknights of the Order of the Torrent as allies and advisors.
 

Civilla: Ooh, I can summon crocodiles now.
Ayva: They’re a good aquatic option.
Civilla: But if I make them chthonic…
Rajira: A pair of eyes, not just above the waterline, but just above the grass…

Ayva: We’re running a (legitimate) printing press… we’re going to get so many orders. And signatures.
Civilla: Well, yes.
Ayva: You truly are an Alazario. I say this with all the love I can muster - you are a conniving bitch.
Civilla: I set out not to be my mother’s daughter - and I ended up my mothers daughter.

Ayva: We need to squeeze more money out of this rebellion thing.

With the help of our agents throughout the city, we ensure the Nox rumour thoroughly overtakes any whispers about the real rebellion.

Thrune: There is no rebellion, it’s clearly Nox! Either that or incompetence - PICK ONE.

Thrune releases a Tenth Proclamation.

POSSESSION OF POETRY OR PROSE WRITTEN BY THE FOLLOWING AUTHORS IS HEREBY FORBIDDEN AND PUNISHABLE BY A FINE OF 100 GOLD PIECES OR IMPRISONMENT: BOSWYTH THE BARD, TERZO PORCINUS, CHARLETTA D’VANEP, GHENRAIL OF VYRE, AND THE ANONYMOUS MISCREANT WHO CALLS THEMSELF THE “POISON PEN OF KINTARGO.” ALL DOCUMENTS BEARING THE WRITINGS OF THESE MISCREANTS MUST BE TURNED OVER TO THE DOTTARI FOR DESTRUCTION BY SUNDOWN.

Terzo: … I’m going to kill him.
Civilla: Terzo, we’re going to go to my library, and you’re going to pick a few select volumes - no more than four - that we’re not going to hand over.

Civilla: This is an opportunity to broaden your stylistic horizons, Terzo! You’ll have to choose a nom-de-plume, of course.
Ayva: I recommend a female name.
Civilla: And reduce the amount of caniphilia references.
Terzo: I note he hasn’t banned graffiti.

Civilla: I’m thinking we start planting books with Terzo’s name on the cover and Sepia Snake Sigil on the frontispiece.

Using a Bag of Holding, an excellent bluff, and her good looks, Civilla manages to save most of Terzo’s output, before handing over a stack of spare copies.

Civilla: I admit I had a fair amount of his work in my library, officer, but he was my tutor.

Civilla: We can also claim you didn’t have many copies of your own work because you keep foisting them off on people.
Terzo: *sigh* Unfortunately, that is quite believable.

Investigating the missing children is at least a good distraction from Terzo’s plans of revenge. Although the old woman at the tenement yells abuse at us apparently assuming we’re jobless layabouts, until we make it clear that we actually have jobs. And money. The twins were apparently nearly of age, and their family practically respectable, at least compared to some of the other residents, particularly one who is out all hours and comes home stinking of death. Probably just an abattoir worker.

The Parents: Strange that people of your station would take an interest in the likes of us.
Rajira: The situation in Kintargo is in flux - if we don’t look after each other, no-one else will.

Apparently the twins worked at the Lucky Bones, which was burnt to the ground by the Order of the Torrent just prior to them being outlawed. Which is suspicious, especially given the hellknights’ hatred of kidnappers, the age of the twins, and the subsequent disappearance of said teenagers. Fortunately, we find one of the kid’s diaries, with some intensely disturbing reports about the kind of things the kids overheard at what was apparently a secret drug den.

Civilla: Called it.

Prayers to Norgorber, the evil god of assassination, secrecy, and theft, are particularly worryig, since one of the precepts of the religion is murdering anybody that might have overheard your devotions.

Most of the neighbours didn’t see anything, or refuse to talk to us, but Varl Wex, the one that stinks of death, urine, cheese, and irregular work hours, may have actually seen something since there’s no predicting when he’ll be home.

Terzo OoC: Plus he’s an obvious red herring.

Rajira starts picking Wex’s lock.

Terzo: I didn’t see anything, I know nothing…
Civilla: Well if you keep acting like that it’s almost like you want to get noticed. We’re doing something entirely illegal here and the sooner you accept that the better.

Wex’s lock is considerably more difficult to pick than Rajira expected. And the room beyond stinks of Slurk grease, presumably the same appalling odour shared by the resident. He also has a number of books on alchemy. And a trail of bloodspots from the window to the bathroom. And a hidden crawlspace in what should be a load-bearing pillar. And a glowing kukri on a stand.

Civilla: *looks from the knife to Rajira* Moonlighting?
Rajira: It’s not mine.
Civilla: …. That’s the Temple Hill Slasher’s blade.
Ayva: Well, if we’re not touching it-
Rajira: Who said I’m not touching it?
Civilla: It’s an intelligent weapon!
Rajira: Yes, and I’m sure I can control it-
Civilla: That’s not my point, I’m concerned you want to try it out HERE.
Rajira: Ah, I’ll concede that.

Wex’s notes are disturbing, and obsessed with the serial killer and his magical weapon. It’s a relic of a very unpleasant cult, and Wex is convinced that he was put in the world to continue the monster’s work.

Ayva OoC: We did remember to lock the door behind us, yes?
Civilla OoC: We did not.
Ayva OoC: We don’t break into enough places, we need more practice.

That is probably why Wex, wearing a bloody apron and wielding a merely mundane dagger, is suddenly growling behind Terzo’s ear.

Wex: Give me the blade and no-one gets hurt.
Ayva: You’re getting quite good at those voices, Terzo.
Terzo: *knife at his throat* …
Rajira: Well, it looks like we get to do this somewhere private.
Ayva: Our good deed for the day.

Luckily for Terzo, Civilla has a Celestial Leopard and a few spells to keep the maniac busy even as he’s trying to keep his grip on Terzo. The rest of the stuff Rajira and Ayva bring to bear are just as ruthless.

Civilla OoC: Terzo is getting up-close-and-personal proof that the rest of us are not nice people.

Terzo is basically being swung around the room by the neck as Wex fends off attacks and spells from all sides, since the spell Deja Vu ensures he has to keep doing that rather than cut Terzo’s throat and drop the body. Eventually Wex succumbs to sudden disembowelment by Rajira, on top of all the other horrendous injuries.

GM: The magical kukri Balgorrah would probably be salivating about all of this if you hadn’t stuffed it into an extradimensional space.
Balgorrah: You cut-teasing b****!
Rajira: If I can control it, I’m keeping it.
Civilla: Why???
Rajira: It’s a kukri.
Civilla: We’ll make one just as good that won’t turn you evil.
Ayva: What are we doing with that one?
GM: The temples of Abadar or Shelyn will buy it off you.
Ayva OoC: To destroy it or redeem it, respectively
Rajira: We’ll take it to the Temple of Shelyn, I don’t want anything to do with those f***ing Abadarians.
Civilla: What?
Rajira: They’ve taken over my temples since the worship of Calistria was banned.
Civilla: They’ve taken over stewardship of the buildings.
Rajira: Yes, and that’s what we’re unhappy about!
Civilla: Yes, I can understand the anger, but it’s misdirected!
Ayva: Are we really having this conversation while we’re cleaning up all the blood?
Terzo: I’m more concerned whether the neighbours heard all the fighting.
Civilla: Probably - we’ll just spill some Slurk grease around the doorway - no-one will want to come in.
Ayva: *To the landlady of the tenement* Good news! We got rid of some of the smell, but there’s some things even Prestigitation won’t shift.

Terzo's player: Do we actually need the Niccolo Alazario standee anymore
Civilla's player: Probably, he’s an NPC now.
Ayva's player: And he’ll probably end up wandering into an overpowered encounter. Like the last two.

Rajira's player: Aw, you moved my line-dancers.
GM: Eh?
Rajira's player: The four Thug standees that were in front of me.
Ayva's player: Oh fine, I’ll move them back over there.
Civilla's player: Huh, they really do look like a line of dancers.
Terzo's player: ‘When you’re a Jet/You’re a Jet your whole life…’

But having accidentally dealt with a copycat serial killer, we still need to find out what happened to the missing twins, since apparently the aforementioned serial killer was smart enough to not kill anybody that lives in the same tenement. We send one of the Silver Raven to the Hellknights of the Torrent to ask exactly why they burned the Lucky Bones down. It might take a while to get a complete answer - the birds can only handle 25 words at a time.

GM: Are you sure the ravens aren’t blue?

Rajira OoC: OK, we’ll go meet Octavio and give the appropriate sign and countersign. And if it’s ‘show me your tits’ we’ll just kick him in the nuts afterward.
Terzo OoC: ‘Yes, those are the authentic tits’.

Octavio has snuck back into the city, but at least his current hiding place has fewer corpses lying around. Fewer, not none. Anyway, the Lucky Bones gambling and opium den that fronted for the slave ring known as the Grey Spiders, which were themselves an arm of the Cult of Norgorber. After the Knights of the Torrent started investigating, the Spiders assassinated the Torrent’s founder, and the rest of the hellknights brought the hammer down on their entire organisation - but never actually dealt with whatever was left under the Lucky Bones.

Civilla: Why do they always choose names that tell everybody what they do? If you ever hear of a group called The Rainbow Unicorns, know that I have gone into the slaving business.

At least the tunnels under the ruins of the Lucky Bones might make another hideout for the Rebellion. If we clear it out.

Rajira OoC: Hmm. I’ve got 40 HP now.
Terzo OoC: 43 here, but that’s mostly fat.

We’ll probably need those points, since we soon find a well-oiled hidden trapdoor in the ruins. But it’s very very stinky down there, and something is slithering. They’re Otyughs.

Terzo OoC: ‘I don’t care what you smell, get in there!

Terzo OoC: Why is it, whenever we find a new possible hideout for the rebellion, we have to clear out s*** like this?
Ayva OoC: It’s all cultist basements, what did you expect?
Rajira OoC: We’re the antagonists in a game of Cultist Simulator

Terzo: What do you brush your teeth with, stale urine and pig s***???? (it might even be true, I’m just hoping my tone of voice confuses them even if it doesn't make them burst into flame).

Before long the last of the things is cowering in a corner. Not that any of us have figured out what the hell they are.

Terzo: Er.. you know I don’t think this thing is a threat to us anymore? Maybe we can just leave it to do… whatever they do.
Rajira: I don’t want to spend any more time up here than we have to - it STINKS.
Ayva: We’re up to our ankles in literal s*** and you want to go lower down.

Unfortunately we’ve got even more poison to worry about before we can even go down another level.

Civilla: I don’t mean to sound like a heartless bitch, but as long as we can keep you from actually dying from it, there’s no reason why we can’t-
Rajira: Keep pressing on, I know.
Civilla: Don’t put words in my mouth. I was going to say ‘benefit from it’.

She wants to develop an antivenom from Rajira’s bad case of ‘poisoned’.

GM: I’m going to assume that by ‘milk’ you mean ‘drool into a cup because her saliva is poisonous’. Because I don’t want to think about the other options.

At least we find some interesting stuff amid the refuse, including a magical bead.

Rajira: Is it Venerable?
GM: Actually, when you look at it you wonder ‘how the F*** hasn’t that exploded yet?’
Rajira OoC: Ah. Necklace of Fireballs.
GM: Nope. Bead of Force.
Rajira OoC: Ah. That’s even worse.

From Episode 2 - We started with a pre-WWII War of the Worlds story arc.  In episode 2, the heroes fight a Martian tripod.  During the fight...
 
Diamondback (the team's Brick) - For TRUTH, JUSTICE and punching you really hard!

Champions : Return To Edge City : Beyond the Valley of the DoLs
Scooter, despite having a huge stack of unspent XP, also has fewer points in Disadvantages than the other PCs.

The Magus OoC: From a certain point of view, Scooter has his life more together than anybody else in the team.
GM: Despite being the bouncer at a titty bar.

Scooter HAS been practicing some useful stuff, such as accurate Leaping, and the Disguise Skill.

The Magus OoC: That’s not Hero Shrew, that’s Normal Shrew!

Hardlight OoC: I’ll call my Skill Level upgrade ‘Slightly Less Incompetent’

GM: Scooter can get a motorised scooter: And join the Vespa Vermin.
Flux: Now there’s a motorcycle gang the city is missing.

We head to the old cemetery, intending to arrest anybody who shows up, especially if they’re VIPER agents. We have a lot of questions about the situation, including ‘If a vampire joins the Daughters of Lilith do they still have to get the fangs implanted?’.

Unfortunately, The Magus (and Scooter to a lesser degree) botch our Stealth checks at the cemetery.

Hero Shrew: Too distracted by all the free supplies available?
The Magus: No. I keep getting flashbacks.

Hero Shrew OoC: I probably should have tunneled under the cemetery and dragged them into the graves from underground.
The Magus OoC: The problem there is all the human remains.
Flux OoC: You’ll bump into something, and burst out of the ground yelling ‘OMG, I just saw Michael Jackson’
Hero Shrew OoC: Ah, so that’s why we failed the Stealth check.

The Magus having a spectacular allergic reaction to holy ground is also a problem. But it’s the way the two Daughters on guard apparently smell Scooter coming that’s the biggest issue - a bit of a surprise when they’re supposed to be basically human. Scooter attempts to get behind them by tunneling underground - and when the Daughters find what looks like a freshly emptied grave, they panic and flee for the cemetery exits. Scooter had made a successful Presence attack, by accident. Unfortunately it looks like they made a call to their boss about the unexpected zombie situation, and the meeting we were there to crash is promptly cancelled.

Flux gets to work investigating the VIPER agent’s online presence - on top of everything else, she makes an annual trip to Wisconsin.

Hero Shrew: Undersconsin!
Flux: No. We don’t want to die.

We locate and stake-out their next meeting, in a children’s playground. Happily there aren’t any kids around at this hour - that could get messy.

Flux: Honestly if there were a bunch of kids hanging around the playground at midnight I’d be more freaked out than I am with all the vampires.

We also learn that the Spinnerette network the Daughters of Lilith answer to is a bit upset by the gang’s initiative, and they’ve sent some rollerskaters that go by the moniker of The Cherry Bombs to remonstrate. There’s also a news blimp perfectly positioned to film whatever happens next.

The Magus calls up an illusion of thick fog, and the other leap into action to protect the Daughters from likely assassination. And hopefully nab that VIPER rep. The Daughters DO go down suspiciously easy when the Magus follows up with a STUN attack to stop them running away under their own steam. And then the power-armoured SWAT team show up.

GM: It’s something you need to know when dealing with this kind of security - if they don’t recognise you and you seem to be involved in whatever is going on, you’re going down to the station in cuffs. It’s called Securing The Scene.

The Magus: Their deployment vehicle is currently stuck on one of the access paths because nobody gave him the key to this bollard.

Whatever happens, it looks like we’ll need to deal with the Spinnerette Network once and for all.

The Magus: They ARE getting a little too murdery.

Happily, hitting the keyboards turns up some interesting information - such as the suspicious way the Spinnerets seem to get out of police trouble a lot faster than anybody else. It seems to be a systemic issue too - if it’s a conspiracy the entire ECPD would have to be involved. Something appears to be moving electronic records around without leaving a trace.

The Magus: Cyberpathy - or Flux is moonlighting.

Since the only thing that can protect against a cyberpath is another cyberpath, it’s probably a problem that the ECPD doesn’t have any technomancers on the payroll.

The Magus: I did find traces of another technomancer working in Edge City.
Flux: .. what?
GM: That might be the first time you’ve actually told Flux that.
The Magus: I think I mentioned in passing as part of a larger infodump. Pretty sure I added a note to the blackboard back at our base.

It is interesting to note that the Spinnerets keep their prostituion income stream entirely separate from their infobrokering.

GM: You pay for discretion.
Fireflash: What happens in Edge City stays in Edge City.

Hardlight, investigating the actual information hardware, finds some peculiar residue on the nodes.

Hardlight: .. I have no idea what this is.
Hero Shrew: Special computer grease to make the electrons go faster?

Hardlight uses his sensory suite to look at the stuff at a microscopic level - weirdly, it seems to have the same texture all the way down. Flux pokes the stuff in the base lab, but it’s not until he tests its occult properties that he gets any results.

Flux: Son of a B****.

It’s ectoplasm.

Flux: Just a minute, I need to go grab a toaster.
Hardlight: And play some music?

Apparently it’s some kind of astral residue. But not magical. Our more mystically inclined members eventually determine that somebody is making small astral portals to run their connections through. And the connections are very… spidery. As is the guardian spirit they left on duty.

The Magus: Huh. So that’s a thing.

They REALLY shouldn’t be hanging out this close to the material plane. We really need to shut the Spinnerets and their subsidiary gangs down. While rounding up their street level members might be doable, actually finding laws to arrest the leaders under might be trickier, assuming we can even get through their layers of sacrificial mooks. Perhaps we should target their unlicensed drinking establishments, preferably when they have lots of customers to scare off. Time for a montage - with lots of press coverage and all due credit to the ECPD Anti-gang Unit (their Internal Affairs and Cybercrime units are busy enough trying to figure out what the Spinnerets have done to their computer system)

Flux: With any luck there’ll be underage drinking - then we can really nail them to the wall.

It probably helps that Scooter already knew where all the illegal dives were, although he had never done anything about them. Just as well he doesn’t work at the Collar Club anymore, or retaliation would seem likely.

Despite actually catching one of the Daughters of Lilith leaders at one of the raids, they somehow escaped without anybody seeing how. Still, each lesser arrest we make provides a point to magically track back to their leadership. So it’s rather unfortunate that when we do, Cassiana and her lieutenants are lying in a pool of blood, and are covered in spiders. And the cloud swirling around the room is more spiders.

Hardlight: Magus. Please teleport me out again, Right now.
The Magus: Oh please, there’s no way they can get through your shield.
Hardlight: I’m still turning the armour way up!

Fireflash blasts the room, to kill as many of the spiders as she can, and calls an ambulance for the Daughters of Lilith, and the Port Authority Biohazard team to deal with any remaining spiders.

Fireflash: We do NOT want Brazilian Wandering Spiders spreading into California!

It’s a bit odd that Cassiana had the accoutrements of a vampire hunter when we found her - was she expecting competition? And sniffing around (literally in Scooter's case) what at first appears to be a dosshouse is actually a bolthole. We’ll probably have to wait for Cassiana to wake up to find out what she was actually up to - unless her real name Theodosia Lathrum is relevant. There was certainly a lineage of vampire hunters going by that moniker.

Fireflash: The historical Theodosia was co-emperor of Byzantium with Justinian the First.
Hero Shrew: Wife and daughter of Aaron Burr, too.
Hardlight: What?
Hero Shrew: Hey, I listen to music, ok?
Hardlight: Aaron Burr’s wife was a vampire hunter?

But what’s with all the spiders?

The Magus: The only thing that can save us now is Bee-man’s edgier cousin, Tarantula Hawk Man.

GM: F*** me, I still haven’t come up with a name for these things. Because I’m not calling them Tarantuloids.
Hero Shrew’s player: Pseudotarantuloids.
GM: They’re native to the astral plane
Hero Shrew’s player: Tarantulpas.
GM: And they’re not earth spiders because they have ten limbs.
Flux’s player: Gegenees.
GM: But those mythical six-armed giants are already in Champions.
Flux’s player: They are? Ah well - it’s about 50-50 odds with anything mythological and Champions.
Hero Shrew player: Ungolians.

According to some incredibly pretentious Victorian era occult tomes, these things are apparently scavengers that usually reside in the lower astral levels. That might explain why they seem to be sealing up the breaches in the astral veil.

The Magus: Shall we follow these cables back to their origin point?
Hero Shrew: I’m willing - just shove me through one of these holes and we’ll see what happens.
The Magus: You’re too big.
Hardlight: And probably too physical.

GM: I question the wisdom of implanting an alien energy source in your neck.
Hardlight: I keep telling you, I didn’t do it to myself! I fell down a well and woke up with it inside me!
The Magus: I heard the same story in the Emergency Department last week.
GM: Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, The doctor at the emergency department said “Jack did WHAT with a candlestick?”

The Magus can teleport us all to the Astral, which is half-full of webbing, but if anything happens to him we’re screwed. And we’re probably doomed anyway thanks to Hardlight’s Weirdness Magnet, which apparently rates as ‘Greatly Impairing’

The Magus: So, is everybody ready to fight spider people?
Hero Shrew: I am! Does that book say whether they’re edible?
The Magus: They’re Camel-spider people.
Flux: THAT MAKES IT WORSE
The Magus: I did say that unless we can find Tarantula Hawk-man we have to handle this ourselves.
Hardlight: I’m half expecting Scooter to show up in a costume with a burning can of insecticide as a logo.
Hero Shrew: That’s a good idea actually - any aerosol cans and cigarette lighters handy?
GM: … OK, sure.
Hardlight: It IS a very Scooter Solution.

The Tarantuloids (apparently called Uttu) immediately draw weapons and advance when we transition over. And we haven’t even messed with their stuff yet.

Hardlight’s Player: I try to find some spider-themed assets for Tabletop Simulator and the first thing I find is a Femboy Spider Token.
GM: Welcome to the Internet where Everything Is Awful.

The Magus: Well, I’d better try and negotiate before anybody gets set on fire… Hail, fellow sentients! What are you doing so close to the material planes?
Uttu: We Guard! You Leave!
Flux: Is it OK if we leave that way? *pointing to the direction the cable is heading*
The Magus: And who are you guarding it for?
Uttu: She!
Hardlight: Well, at least we know their assumed gender. Uh, She who?
Uttu: SHE!
Fireflash: She Who Must Not Be Named?
Flux: We seem to be having some translation difficulties…
GM: With apologies to H. Rider Haggard.
Uttu: We follow SHE! SHE provides!
Flux: Can talk to her? Uh, She?
Uttu: SHE talks to who She wishes!

The Magus intimidates them enough to at least send a message.

Hero Shrew: Does She sell seashells?
Hardlight: I’m half-expecting She to be short for Shelob.
Uttu: *in slow English* She. Says. She Will Send. Emmi-sary. Asks. Who You?
The Magus: The Magus.
Uttu: She. Says. Crap.

At least we get an address - in the middle of Spinnerets territory.

Hardlight: I pull out my freeweb device. Wait, no signal.
GM: Actually you do have a signal. What???
Flux: Ok Mr Tech Genius, before we leave, find out what the hell that’s connecting to.

The Spinnerets emissary has a fancy sword and crucifix earrings

Hero Shrew: I wonder if the earrings are significant.
GM: Probably - the powered in the Champions universe are generally pretty careful with the symbols of Higher Powers.
Hardlight: Well, I’m going to shut up and not say anything - foot-in-mouth and all. So go on you two, get talking.

The Emissary is pretty confident that the holes in the astral veil aren’t a problem, because they have a way to stabilise them. The Magus points out that that does nothing about the way the Spinnerets are rewriting police records at will. The Emissary makes an offer on She’s behalf - if we let them withdraw the connections in question (they’re not much use to She now we know about them) the Spinnerets will extend us a line of credit.

Hardlight: This is one of those moral quandaries, isn’t it.

The Magus calls the rest of us over to join the conversation.

Hero Shrew: Cool sword.
The Emissary: Thankyou.
Flux: So, Magus, I see you’re not dead.
The Magus: Did you expect me to be?
Flux: *waggles hand* eh.

The Emissary: I speak for She. I listen and She hears.
The Magus: And She occasionally swears to the Uttu.

Hardlight: I’m guessing this line of credit isn’t monetary.
The Emissary: Of course not.
Flux: My apologies, he doesn’t understand metaphors.
Hardlight OoC: No I don't understand metaphors, that’s the whole POINT of my character!

So, if we choose to ignore the murder and attempted murder of the Daughters of Lilith, or at least put it down to internal gang politics, we can at least stop the Spinnerets from messing with the ECPD data systems, and can get some favours from She in future.

The Magus: Admittedly it’s a lot harder to pin the murders on them.

The Emissary: Do we have any other business?
Hero Shrew: Are there any giant edible bugs in the Astral Plane?
Hardlight: What????
The Emissary: I don’t know.

The Magus recognises the Emissary’s weapon too - the Sword of God’s Word, that Separates Truth From Lie.

GM: I need a word, not antediluvian, that’s specifically The Flood, but basically prehuman..
Hero Shrew: Pre-Adamite.
GM: The sword is Pre-Adamite.
Hardlight: Freaky.
GM: Says the person who’s bonded to a pre-Adamite artefact.

Hero Shrew: I’d like to know which supervillains they’ve been cleaning up records for.
The Emissary: That’s confidential.
Hero Shrew: What’s the deal with Undersconsin?
Hardlight: SCOOTER
The Emissary: ...She has no information on Undersconsin.

GM: This is all worth 7 XP and two favours from the Spinnerets.
The Magus: For not burning the house down.

GM: I hope you didn’t find that too frustrating?
Hardlight OoC: No, not fighting is just as good as fighting, most of the time.
Hero Shrew OoC: Hey! Fighting is the only thing I’m good at!
GM: No it isn’t! Half the time you’re the only person who figures out what’s actually happening, because you work at street level.
Hero Shrew OoC: Eh, tell me that, I’m having increasing questions about my self worth lately.
Flux: Don’t worry, we’ll get you a cave so you can spend a few weeks brooding with the bats and getting horribly damp and s*** on. I mean seriously, that’s a terrible place for a base. And he goes and fills it with computers.
Hardlight: The first thing he installed was good HVAC.

Pathfinder : Hell's Bright Shadow - A Night At The Opera   Civilla’s character’s Drawback is Family Ties.

Terzo’s player: Just Family Ties or 80s sitcoms in general?
All: ….
GM: That was a Kevin-level joke and you should be ashamed.


Civilla’s player: When I found this Pokeball item in the TTS menu I said ‘Yes, I’m using that to keep my Summoned Monsters in’
Ayva’s player: Giant F***-off Toad, I choose you!
Civilla’s Player: I can’t summon those yet.
Ayva’s player: Small F***-off Toad, I choose you!

Closing Kintargi’s beloved opera house is not the only bizarre thing Barzillai Thrune has done - his other proclamations include banning the drinking of tea after sunset, and declaring that mint is an abomination.

Terzo: The man is a cad. I might, if pressed, go so far as to describe him as a knob-end.

Terzo: He’s not married? At his age? Surely he should have ensured an heir and a spare by now. I mean, I don’t envy whoever he’s been married off to, but it’s not like House Thrune haven’t been sticking their… fingers… in everything else. He comes to a city widely acknowledged as having the most beautiful people of the Inner Sea, and the only locals he wants to meet are the canines. Heaven knows there are reasons one might want to conceal one's personal predilections - there’s more beards in Kintargo theatre then there are the nearest dwarfhold - but it’s like the man WANTS to go down in history as Barzillai the Dogf***er.

Between people who have been financially inconvenienced by martial law or the closure of the opera house, and people desperately trying to find any anti-government allies that haven’t already been rounded up and publicly tortured to death by Thrune’s agents, and people just tagging along to see what happens, and people pickpocketing the crowd, and Thrune’s Blackshirts, there’s quite a large crowd gathering in Aria Park opposite the Opera House. On the other hand quite a large number of Kintargo’s citizens have gone missing entirely, including the former Lord-Mayor Jilia Bainilus, and the outspoken opera diva Shensen.

Anya is there to protest the government.

Ayva: The current government, at least. The last one wasn’t very good, but you take what you can get.

Terzo is ostensibly there because he invested an unwise proportion of his savings in the next season of the opera, but under his cheerful facade he actually carries a deep loathing of the Asmodean church and House Thrune. Rajira was actually going to BE in the next season of the opera, in Huntress of Heroes. Civilla is there to ensure her former tutor, Terzo, doesn’t get himself arrested with the rest of the mob.

Terzo: Ah, Ms. Ononda, isn’t it? One of ‘Shensen’s Songbirds’ as I recall. I don’t suppose you’ve heard anything from her? I was quite looking forward to seeing your performance in Huntress of Heroes - you never forget your first night in a starring role. Although I must admit it’s been a few years since I played the lead in Ser Curlique.
Rajira: And you don’t seem to have changed in size at all.
Civilla: Ouch.
Terzo: I don’t think I could play Ser Curlique anymore - perhaps his acquaintance Ser Lavagna?  ‘Hurry Uuuupppp’. Ah, Civilla, dear girl, there you are - have you met Ms. Ononda?

Of course Huntress of Heroes was already a controversial choice, given the current political climate. Maybe that’s why Shensen has gone missing. Most of us get to work agitating the crowd. Terzo, for example, loudly points out that some of the new laws would almost be acceptable if they were imposed by an actual local, instead of somebody like Thrune.

Terzo: Why should a tiny city across the sea regulate the price of tea?

And of course, indirectly slandering Thrune about the dog thing.

Trying to polarize the crowd and drown out the Blackshirts etc is also a option to take - Anya pointing out that the Chellish government are technically still pro-slavery (something she has a personal stake in) shuts some of them up, and Terzo leading a portion of the crowd in a rousing chorus of Do You Hear The People Sing? helps

Terzo: Definitely not the kind of song Thrune would want pointed in his direction, either.

Thrune, who has claimed the Opera House as his residence for some damned reason, eventually stops ignoring the gathering crowd and comes out onto the balcony.

Barzillai Thrune: Ah, my adoring little chickadees. I am sorry to say I have not yet adapted to your quaint, country ways, being accustomed as I am to the sophistication and learning of Egorian. Nonetheless, know I have heard your concerns, and that I appreciate your valued feedback, and I know we shall eventually find a mutual understanding in the fullness of time. I take pride in updating Kintargo’s quaint, outdated laws to the modern standards the city deserves, and strengthening its ties with the empire in these cruel times, but obviously I have approached my duties too aggressively. You say you chafe at the presence of nonnatives in positions of power? That authorities not of this city have no place as its leaders? That you will not be yoked by intruders? Your lord-mayor hears you. And so it is with a heavy heart that I issue this proclamation, in response to your demands: all ships’ captains are hereafter barred from leaving their vessels and setting foot on Kintargo docks or streets, under pain of... let’s say... squassation!”

That is not good - a large proportion of the city’s wealth comes from the port, and he’s just made us very unpopular.

Terzo: You take away our art and now you take away our income?!

Somebody manages to fling manure up three stories, and the inquisitor spills his drink over his robes. Thrune is not the kind of man to take constructive criticism well. He sets his Dotarri on the crowd. And he had an alarmingly large number of armed agents hidden in the crowd.

GM: If you can move off the map this round you can escape the riot.
Terzo: I’m not going to leave these young women behind!
Ayva: I’m older than you!
Terzo: But you look younger so chivalry applies.
Ayva: You flatterer, you.

Terzo is the first one to get clubbed down, anyway. Evidently Thrune’s curs have no compunction about hitting old men. So the three women have to fight for themselves - Civilla Summons some of her creatures and whistles for her carriage, and Rajira gets just a teeny bit murderous with her kukri.

Rajira: Grab the fat guy!
Ayva: You must be kidding.
Civilla: Please! The two of us should be able to drag him.

Then Rajira gets ‘subdued’ - she’s going to need to be carried out too.

Civilla: When we reach the edge of the park I summon a Chthonic Dolphin.
GM: As if the riot wasn’t weird enough…

And Thrune’s bodyguard Nox can apparently shrug off a dagger to the throat, although the NPC that knifed her is willing to help haul Terzo’s unconscious bulk out of the escalating riot, and we flee just before hellhounds get set on the crowd. Unfortunately there’s not enough room for the stranger in Civilia’s carriage, which she apologises profusely for. Maybe we’ll run into him again - he was certainly a dab hand with a thrown dagger. Civilla frets a bit until she’s sure Terzo and Rajira aren’t bleeding to death, and relaxes.

Civilla: *mutters dark thoughts* I wonder if that one with the dung was a plant.
Rajira: *mumbles* … no.. pretty sure he was human…
Ayva: Wow. Even when she’s unconscious.

Civilla orders her footman to drive the carriage back to her apartments.

About an hour later Rajira and Terzo regain consciousness.

Rajira: Ow.
Terzo: *clutches head* I didn’t think I’d drunk that much…
Civilla: You didn’t. You were struck in the head.
Terzo: Hmm. I could say I’m surprised that Thrune is the kind of man that hires the kind of thugs that attack unarmed old men, but I’m really not.
Civilla: He may not have hired them, but I strongly suspect that one that threw the manure was an agitator.
Rajira OoC: A Chinese agitator - Who Flung Dung.

Rajira comes around with a literal ‘Where am I?’ - she does want to know exactly who had a carriage on hand to get us out of there. It’s certainly evidence that Civilla has strong family connections, as well as wealth. Terzo is more interested in apologizing abjectly to the three women, for letting them get into such danger, especially since rescuing him put them into even more danger. And then he’ll have to find a few bottles of wine, since his Drawback is Hedonism.

Ayva: Ah - a drunkard.
GM: Wine, Women, or Song.
Civilla: Well don’t look at me.

Things get worse for the people of Kintargo, with armed groups of Thrune’s curs patrolling the streets on top of the curfew restrictions, etc. A few days later Rajira has to rescue a nobleman from a group of them. She does that by cutting one of their throats from behind. It takes a few goes, and her victim loses his fingers as well as he was trying to hold his throat shut when she slashed his throat again.

And then Civilla calls for the Watch. Which shocks the rest of us until she points out that these thugs DID attack a nobleman. Although recognising the victim is a further shock, since he’s the youngest son of the Victocora family, and possibly the only surviving member after their family estate mysteriously burned to the ground a week ago.

Rajira: We might have to get him out of here BEFORE the Watch arrives.
Raxus Victocora: Do you have somewhere safe?
Rajira: Yes. Come with us.

Apparently Victocora saw us at the riot, and tried to follow us. He needs our help - Thrune’s agents were responsible for a lot of highly suspicious fires that night, as they eliminated anybody that might be a threat to the Inquisitor’s takeover of Kintargo. And we, at least, were influential enough to stir up the crowd, and lucky enough to not get arrested and tortured to death at the riot.

Raxus Victocora: You are people of uncommon skill and I am a man of uncommon need.
Rajira: This is my city - I have no wish to see it under the thumb of outsiders.
Civilla: My Aunt Ginevra will hate me for this…
Terzo: So. You want us to be rebels against the Chelish government? Well, my family always said I was the black sheep - I’m in.
Ayva: What have we got to lose?
Rajira: We might get killed.
Ayva: We nearly got killed attending a peaceful protest.

Victocora has a letter from a now dead relative, pointing us towards possible allies - the Order of Archivists who try to preserve historical records threatened by the Chellish equivalent of the Ministry of Truth, and the Silver Ravens, who protected Kintargo during the last civil war. The Ravens apparently have a hideout underneath the abandoned Fair Fortune’s Livery.

Terzo OoC: We'll have to invent petrol engines in Pathfinder just so we'll have a place to hang Barzillai Thrune upside-down. Either that or post him to Civilla's brother in the Shackles - all pirates need a friend. Or chum.

Ayva’s player: I’d quite like to do a prison break scenario at some point.
Terzo’s player: Depending how this goes, we might have to - it’s not like we’re professional revolutionaries.
Civilla’s player: First order of business, don’t get caught.

Rajira OoC: Running from rooftop to rooftop is theoretically possible, but will involve a lot of climbing and leaping.
Terzo OoC: Then let us hope we don’t have to do that, because Terzo leaping from roof to roof is ridiculous.
Civilla OoC: I too am lacking in fantasy parkour skills.

Terzo: It’s been quite a few years since I’ve had to use any kind of disguise spell… late nights meeting up with like-minded individuals…
Civilla: Such is the price of celebrity.
Terzo: I'd better go fetch my rapier from under the bed.
Civilla’s OoC: Probably wise. I’m bringing my umbrella - so I have at least one square where I can Summon things in, without people noticing.

The four of us and Victocora dress inconspicuously and squash into Civilla’s carriage, and try to get across town without being spied on. The strangest thing about the abandoned livery is that nobody has occupied the building - the nearby tiefling slum can’t be as overpopulated as it might be.

Civilla: It might be a meeting-place for the local ne'er-do-wells - my Ears of the City spell wouldn’t have told me that.

Terzo’s essentially spherical nature leads to problems with things beyond parkour.

GM: It’s chained, but loosely enough that any medium creature should be able to slip in easily.
Terzo: Ah - slight problem there.
Civilla: Well, while Rajira picks the lock on the chain, the rest of us behave as though we’re slightly tipsy and looking for a little...
Rajira: Privacy for an assignation?
Civilla: Indeed.
Ayva OoC: Any performance by Terzo is widescreen.
Civilla: It’s been a long time since Terzo has slipped into anything. Other than a bottle.

Unfortunately the livery is already occupied by large angry half-starved mastiffs.

Terzo: I’m amazed they haven’t already been acquired for Thrune’s collection. Or should I say harem.
Ayva: I should have brought some meat with me…
Terzo: I shouldn’t have eaten that sandwich on the way here.

Terzo is soon mauled by the largest mastiff.

GM: You are a tasty tasty ham. Wine-glazed, even.

Poking around after the fight reveals the old killing floor from when the building was an abattoir, and a secret door that isn’t very secret anymore.

Terzo: Hopefully the ‘killing floor’ bit isn’t a portent.

Champions : Return To Edge City : A Slow Week
There’s been a break-in at one of the LowellTech warehouses. The entire building got cleared out before anybody got here. They left an electronic signature on the looped footage, but also, oddly, an ‘I Was Never Here’ field. It’s not surprising that the Crime Computer missed it, because it really only responds to actual people in danger, but something is clearing affecting the more unusual sensory abilities we have available.

The Magus and Flux do rig a tracking spell, and recover the stolen goods, but Hardlight’s impatience means we botch the chance to arrest anyone.

Hero Shrew: And because Hardlight did a Leroy Jenkins the bad guy got away?
The Magus: We didn’t even SEE the bad guy.
Flux: By the time we found out that we could have found out it was too late to find out.

Although Scooter does have news about a new player in Studio City - this Moreau goes by King Tiger. He’s a student of the Shaolin temple, and has been attracting students. Apparently he’s a bit pissed to have missed an invite to that martial arts tournament. He’s also been speaking out against Madam Lil and Colin as representatives of the community.

GM: The problem isn’t that he’s vocal, it’s that he’s vocal and people are listening.

It’s certainly true that the prostitution at the Collar Club and Madam Lil’s establishment is either illegal or legally problematic, but King Tiger dislikes the tone set by having a brothel owner and a pimp represent the community, more than the legal aspects. He wants to be the Zoo’s face himself, and promote closer relationships with the neighbouring Chinatown. The growing rift it’s provoking might be a problem.

Hero Shrew: I feel a need to protect Colin - he gave me a job. That proves he has good judgement.
The Magus: This King Tiger might have a point.

Although King Tiger turns out to be a good name, since he’s 10 foot tall and can bench-press 6 ½ tonnes. He’s also clashed with Wild Kingdom a few times.

Flux: I’ll put a tick in the positive column there.

Flux: As long as he doesn’t start anything, I say we don’t get involved.
Hero Shrew OoC: I’m more concerned about the growing rift in the tiny Moreau community, but Political Awareness does not feature prominently on Scooter’s character sheet.

So we ask The Rep for advice, which is as bad as you might expect. Being Pro-Colin can also be construed as being pro-prostitution and pro-explotation. A public stance of being anti-King Tiger could still work, however. As usual, we feel the need for a shower when we’re done.

Hero Shrew: I should tell Colin privately that I’m on his side. If a five minute conversation with The Rep is any indication, I really don’t want to get involved in politics full-time.

There’s more Moreau kids on the way too - the contraceptive implants are really starting to fail. And it also appears some Moreaus were engineered for accelerated maturation.

Hardlight: Are variously-shaped prophylatics going to be required in future? I should do some research. … I just said that out loud didn’t I.

The Magus and Flux do figure out how to dismiss that depressed Chinese Demon that’s been hanging the Zoo back to the Hells, who bows and hands them a note with a written character and old Chinese coin before vanishing. The character is ‘debt’ - apparently getting him out of a contract that he could not complete means he owes us a favour.

Champions : Return to Edge City : V Is For Visitors
A few night later, while various party members are chomping on midnight mealworm bars, doing something wizardly up in the hills, drinking at a late-night party, and so on, a fiery SOMETHING narrowly misses Fireflash as she’s flying home from university, another takes out the top of Plaza Tower, and the other half-dozen light up the rest of town like daylight before they crash into the sea. Whatever they were they’ve also dropped burning debris all along their flight paths.

Hardlight: I carefully put down my drink and dash off to change into my costume.
Fireflash: I don’t know about you but I’m definitely buzzed.

The Magus turns on the rain to control the spot fires as we converge on the Plaza - fortunately this happened at 3AM so the casualties should be limited, but we’ll still need to check for anybody still alive in the upper floors, which now have a large hole right through the building.

GM: Plaza Tower is the tallest building in Edge City.
Hero Shrew: Possibly not for much longer.

Fireflash and Hardlight are scanning the upper floors for survivors, Flux has life support armour to go in anywhere he needs to, and Scooter stays down at ground level clearing debris off the roads so the emergency vehicles can get in.

Hardlight: Oh my god, the team actually knows basic disaster relief.

Fireflash also checks with the building security if anybody was logged in as being on those floors, and to our great relief there shouldn’t be. In fact, it looks like sheer fluke has prevented any fatalities in the tower. Hardlight bubbles fires to smother them. It’s still fortunate that the city’s emergency coordination centre wasn’t actually in Plaza Tower. Hero Shrew does think to look for any debris that isn’t part of the building, but is a bit too busy to look closely.

Fireflash: Better make sure none of that debris is radioactive or toxic.
Hardlight: What the hell was this anyway? A meteor strike?
The Magus: Firewing sneezed.

Probably not a re-entering satellite - whatever they were they came in from the east, which is unlikely. And once the situation here is dealt with, we can go use the Qruiser’s submarine capabilities to find whatever they were. Although the Navy ships en route do try to wave us off. If they were Coast Guard they could actually do it. We find where they settled into the sediment, but they’re not there now. It looks suspiciously like somebody beat us to the site and moved the objects back in towards shore. There’s also a number of individuals in US Marine power armour. But since we used our police powers to declare it a police emergency, they might just be here to observe and demarcate the limit of international waters, so it doesn’t become Their Problem.

The Magus: Gosh, it’s like we need somebody who can reconstruct events of the past.

Fireflash does so, but what she gets most of is fish fleeing the scene. And five humanoid things carrying six objects back in the direction of the city. The Navy are probably going to want to know, since that implies the objects were escape capsules or an invasion force. Let’s hope that there’s lots of security cameras along the coast - and that Magus’ rain spell hasn’t stopped us actually seeing them come ashore. It does occur to Flux that we can use one of the scanning spells in reverse, to find anything in the debris that wasn’t part of Plaza Tower. Magus is impressed, and annoyed that he didn’t think of it first. It takes a while to sift through everything that isn’t a photocopier or the shredded remains of a surveillance pigeon, but we do find a shard of curiously oily metal covered in what might be blood. It may have had more blood on it earlier, but the friction coefficient of the metal is so low that most of it probably slipped right off again.

The Magus: Anybody got one of those evidence baggies we’re supposed to be carrying?
Flux: No?
The Magus: Well, I’ll put it in one of the baggies that definitely didn’t contain some of my ‘supplies’ from earlier this evening. Which reminds me, hold this, I left my summoning circle on.

We rule out that it was a local lacerated by the shard, too, so it was definitely one of the recent arrivals that was wounded in the collision.

Flux: Hag about, you’ve got a spell that hugs people, and a spell called Sugar Crash. Now all you need is a Disabling Tickle Attack. You’re like a 5-yr-old that’s been given magic.
The Magus OoC: At this point I’m pretty much a Dark Magical Girl

The Magus tries a few spells on the blood, and does determine that the visitors are invisible to his detection spells.

The Magus: Unfair - I have REASONS to be invisible to divination magic. I deal with major demonic cults!

The shard on the other hand did come from something ‘Up.’ A Ways Up.

We get two messages - one from UNTIL requesting a meeting, and one from the EC Fire Department thanking us for the assistance last night. Although carefully not thanking us for the rain spell since weather manipulation is banned by international treaty.

Hardlight: There’s some data scientist at NOAA that’s had to reset all the predictions.
Flux: Just blame it on 5G.

And the first call came through immediately after we determined where the reentry capsules came from.

Phone: We need to talk.
Flux: God? Is that you?

The representative lets us know that UNTIL’s space station detected a high energy event in low earth orbit, and tracked the six pods to Edge City, but immediately lost track of whatever the pods came from.

Hero Shrew: Maybe they popped back into hyperspace after dropping them off?
UNTIL Rep: We’re unaware of any species that utilise hyperspace.
The Magus OoC: Apart from you guys, in your teleporters.
GM: A fact that is not public knowledge so his statement is still true as far as you’re concerned.
Hero Shrew: Maybe they had a Romulan Cloaking Device?
UNTIL Rep: … you do know the Romulans are fictional, right?
Hero Shrew: *looks innocent* They are?
Fireflash: Scooter, stop trolling the government agent.

The UNTIL guy is a bit annoyed that the Magus can still locate where the pods came from hours after all their space tech lost it. Us recovering that shard might help.

Hero Shrew: It looks oily, but it doesn’t smell oily. I haven’t done a taste test yet.
Fireflash: Well don’t.
Flux: It might be radioactive.
Hero Shrew: Will I get extra super-powers?

UNTIL Rep: Hmm. That’s weird. Looks like a Mandaarin alloy. They visited Earth as peaceful explorers in 99.
Hero Shrew: Well, a lot can change in 20 years - here on Earth big hoop earrings were back in fashion.

Mandaarins surprisingly, aren’t orange and sort of round, but are instead mostly human in appearance, although about 40% of them are psychic. It’s surprising that they didn’t reach out for assistance from Earth’s governments, if they were in trouble. But as one of the most advanced races in the galaxy, it’s a bit alarming that they ould need help at all.

Hero Shrew: Maybe they’re Mandaarin criminals trying to hide among the human population. Or a hunting party. Or Bounty hunters.
UNTIL Rep: What part of ‘peaceful explorers’ did you fail to understand?

We give him the debris for further study.

Hero Shrew: I’m surprised you hadn’t asked for it already. You’ve got all those machines that go ping.
UNTIL Rep: Yesssss… we have lots of machines that go ping. *aside* Is he for real?
Flux: I’m afraid so.
Fireflash: He hasn’t eaten in a while.

Flux OoC: So, aliens have invaded Earth before?
GM: Yes. One of the most famous superheroes in the world is an alien.
Hero Shrew OoC: So is one of the most famous supervillains.
GM: Yes. They often fight.

Flux failed to detect any more of the alien alloy in Edge City, when he scanned for it.

Flux: To be fair I haven’t had my coffee yet.

Building another detector is probably still wise, but we’d need to keep some of the debris.

Flux: Can we break it into two?
UNTIL Rep: It’s pretty damn tough.
Hero Shrew: Now I really want to chew on it.
Hardlight: I don’t want to find out how many types of cancer he’ll get from having it in his mouth.

UNTIL Rep: If you don’t understand their tech, it’s probably Mandaarian. They’re that advanced. In a few hundred years their entire civilization might up and leave the Milky Way.
Flux: ‘We like the physics one galaxy over’.
Hero Shrew: Well that makes it even weirder that their re-entry was so clumsy.

So on top of all this, it’s probably alarming that WorldSat have lost contact with half their satellites.

Flux: ‘ET Phone Home’
Hero Shrew: Theoretically speaking, if there was an entire alien fleet with Romulan Cloaking Devices up there, would it block radio transmissions but still be transparent to visible light?

Hardlight: Now I have to wrack my brain for ways to defeat an alien invasion.
Hero Shrew: The common cold!
Fireflash: Cut them off at the ankles - that'll defeet them.

We head over to the WorldSat building, in case the problem is at this end, and are surprised to find a very neat square hole in one of the upstairs windows. Magus’ Ghostsight spell soon determines that the building’s security personnel are alive, but unconscious, and neatly stacked against the wall, and that there are other beings crowded into and around the server room. Two of them appear to be Star Trek aliens, one is a human businesswoman with small horns, one appears to be a wolf Moreau, and one is a heavily armed and cyborged out the wazoo.

Hero Shrew: So probably not Mandaarians then.
GM: Nope - because none of them could pass for human.
The Magus: Although there’s any number of Edge City gangs they could fit into without comment.

Fireflash and Hardlight plan to fly in the hole and target the pastrolling wolf-morph, while the rest of the team teleport in and gang-cape the cyborg. The Magus will teleport straight back out, taking the security guys with him.

Hero Shrew: Just making sure he IS a cyborg right?
Fireflash: That’s what the Magus’ spell says. So no dismantling.
Hero Shrew: But putting extra right angles in his limbs won’t be as much of a problem?

Unfortunately one of the bad guys has Danger Sense, and stun+entangle grenades. And some sort of sealant gun that glues Scooter to the floor.

Hero Shrew: What the h*** did they spray me with, starship glue??
GM: Yes. That’s exactly what they sprayed you with.
Hero Shrew OoC: I’m frustrated - I want to hit people, the team wants me to hit people, there’s people RIGHT THERE I can hit, and here I am stuck to the floor.

It might help us if we knew what they were saying, but of course we don’t speak Alien and they seem unwilling to compromise. Some of the associated gestures don't seem very flattering. Fortunately the Magus teleports back into the building and gives the rest of the team some much-needed assistance in the form of police-approved comas. Various other four-colour pyrotechnics ensue, which is only to be expected when 10 superhumans get together and immeadiately start swinging. Wolf-guy, who got blown out an upper-storey window, uses an Entangle grenade on himself to reduce the damage from his imminent argument with gravity. Hardlight hurriedly creates a giant green glowing catcher’s mitt, anyway. Quite a bit of damage is done to this floor of the building, and the various participants, but with the exception of the steel being ripped out of the walls by Flux to try and entangle the aliens, and the fact that one of the aliens appears to be bleeding out, none of it looks like it’ll be lasting. Quite a few thankfully non-loadbearing walls do get turned into confetti, however.

Scooter finally breaks free of the starship glue and takes considerable pleasure out of punching the cyborg in his carbon-nanotube kidneys. It’s at this point the cyborg finally decides to speak English. He points at the alien currently unconscious underneath him.

Cyborg: If This One Does Not Pilot Ship Down It Will Crash Into City.
Hero Shrew: *skids to a halt* It would have been nice to tell us that EARLIER.
Hardlight: I told you guys we should have tried to talk to them first!
GM: You guys are making me think of a Miley Cyrus song.
Fireflash’s player: Which one?
GM: Wrecking Ball.

Hero Shrew: We are going to get so many dirty looks…
GM: It’s just as well two of you guys have Repair spells.

Champions : Return To Edge City : Silverfish Bait
Fireflash is out patrolling one evening when she spots some suspicious midnight furniture removal. Or possibly cow-tipping, with trucks.

Hardlight: Was there a football game tonight?
GM: That’s actually a good question.

Fireflash flies over to the possible drunken hooligans, who are shaking and yelling at a truck with dark windows, and asks what is going on. They take one look at her and run off. She knocks on the van and asks if everybody inside is okay, whereupon the rear doors open and somebody says ‘We will be!’. It’s another attempt to catch Fireflash, by the Doomtroopers.

One might ask why Fireflash is out patrolling alone if this kind of thing keeps happening, but as the GM points out, Fireflash is the only member of Quadrant that can be trusted not to turn a basic patrol into a disaster. And there is also the problem that if Scooter, say, is trying to keep up with her, he’d keep running into buildings and passing traffic.

It would probably help if we’d set The Magus up with a link to the Crime Computer too, but we keep forgetting. It would certainly help co-ordinating the response of the rest of the team, and whether it would be faster for us to converge on Fireflash’s position ourselves, or have whoever is at the base and has the keys to the Qruiser come pick us up.

By the time Flux gets there, he’s in time to see Fireflash being loaded into the back of the van, but instead of driving off in it the Doomtroopers rappel up to their invisible helicopter.

Flux: The package has been collected.
Hero Shrew: Well stop them getting away!
Flux: Scooter, we had a meeting about this, we let her get captured then we follow them back to their base.
Fireflash: Please tell me they’re not having this conversation over our unsecured comm channel.

By the time the rest of us get there, there’s smoke coming out of the back of the van. Scooter pulls the doors off the van, revealing a circle of melted electronics and no Fireflash.

Flux: Tracking teleports is a pain.
Hardlight: We planned for this, remember.
Flux: I know, but now we have to go get the Magus because we forgot to key him into the Crime Computer AGAIN and he hasn’t got any of the push notifications.

At least we have three different ways to track her - one tracker that’s only there for ARGENT to find, one active-on-demand tracker that the one we hope they don’t look for, and a lock of her hair we can track magically if we have to.

Hero Shrew: And hopefully they haven’t dipped her in Nair(™)
Flux: It doesn’t work like tha- actually that’s a good point. But why would they depilate her if they don’t know about magical tracking?
GM: To have more places to attach the electrodes.
Fireflash: Ow.

Flux: It’ll take me an hour to set up my magical tracking device, but if we get the Magus here it’s five minutes of wiggling.

GM: I can’t wait to hear your explanation of all this to the Magus.

The Magus is suitably impressed by a plan so half-assed that most of us had forgotten the details. Although in Scooter’s case that probably took under 24 hours.

Flux: Sorry we didn’t give you the log-in earlier. Or the low-down.

The Magus does suggest we at least LOOK like we’re investigating the remains of the van, before he does his stuff. Apparently Fireflash isn’t that far away - somewhere at the south end of Edge City’s medical center.

Hero Shrew: Just point me at whatever you want me to punch.
Flux: No, no, no punching yet. I want negative punch.
Hero Shrew:... what, hitting myself?

The Magus can tell she’s underground, in some kind of sensor equipment, and on an IV drip. He can also tell there’s some large blocks of Edge City opaque to magevision, which will probably bear later investigation, but ARGENT or whoever paid to kidnap Fireflash aren't keeping her in one. He can also see what he presumes is a roomful of cloning tanks.

Flux: Who needs a tunneling machine when we have a giant shrew.

Flux OoC: I can think of one major problem with our tunneling equipment - most mining machines don’t need to surface regularly and say ‘I should have taken that left at Albuquerque’.
Hero Shrew OoC: Hey, that rabbit cut Florida off from the mainland.
Flux OoC: … true. You still need a Disguise skill of at least 30.
GM: Nah, just a deep understanding of his opponent’s fetishes.

The Magus also points out that we should have the police cordon off the building before we go in - ARGENT is an illegal organisation in the US, but we can probably guarantee they’ll have the ARGENT logo on all the stuff in their secret base. They have a strong internal corporate culture, and presumably don’t make their employees pee in bottles. Of course, timing will be everything - we can probably also guarantee they’re listening to all police band communications. Probably best that we use teleportation to organise the police back-up, and then teleport our team into the sewer entrance and sweep in from there.

Of course the moment we teleport in the pressure sensors in the floor go off - they might not have defenses against teleporters specifically, but this just proves they don’t need them.

Hardlight: Scooter, punch those doors in.
Hero Shrew: I thought you wanted Negative Punch? *punches them out of their frames anyway*

The ARGENT staff in the dormitory are a bit surprised to see us - they’re still in their underoos. But we can hear machinery somewhere nearby starting up.

Hardlight: That better not be an army of Fireflash clones.

The security staff we’ve just surprised do have instant-armour-deployment hatches above their bunks, although they at least look embarrassed at having transformation sequences.

Hero Shrew OoC: Doesn’t bother me - now they’re in armour I can hit them as hard as I like.

ARGENT Mook: *thinking* Out of all these supers that guy is the only one that stands out. Magus looks... Normal. I don’t trust that. *Shoots Magus*.

As it happens it’s Hardlight who forgets how fragile humans can be, and blasts one of the as-yet-unarmoured mooks most of the way through a wall.

Hardlight: Oh S*** oh S*** oh S***
Flux OoC: You’re rolling GREAT for once.
Hardlight: I just did that in front of Hero Shrew!
Flux: We had a meeting about that sort of thing - I ignored most of it, but still.

We soon run into somebody attempting to flee the complex, carrying an unconscious Fireflash. He seems a little perturbed to come face-to-face with the rest of our team.

Evil Scientist: Ah. This is problematic.

It’s probably even more problematic that any reinforcements from the room with all the tanks have to deal with the Magus-summoned tentacles holding the door shut. Or rather, holding the pieces of the door in place. Flux adds his own Entangle attack.

GM: It looks WRONG.

The things coming through the door seem a bit wrong, too - despite the various unnatural senses available to the party, it’s not clear whether they’re robots, cyborgs, or just armoured humans. They’re certainly tougher than the armoured mooks. And it would appear there were a lot of them in those tanks we detected.

Flux: Who wants to tell Fireflash that she snores?

Hardlight revives an understandably annoyed Fireflash, who flies off to apply a therapeutic beat-down.

Hardlight OoC: Well there’s your two page spread for this issue.
Fireflash OoC: Actually, what are you wearing?
GM: Not your costume.
Hardlight OoC: Well, it’ll be fine, unless we’re published by Image.
GM: If we were published by Image this scene would be on the cover.
Flux OoC: And you’d be nude.

One of the new bad hits the Magus most of the way down the corridor - he was extremely fortunate there wasn’t a wall behind him, or he’d have ended up like that mook Hardlight accidentally left coughing up internal organs. Another tries to do the same to Hardlight, who frantically preserves the integrity of his cervical vertebrae by throwing up a forcewall that deflects the punch. At least we find out that at least one of these new bad guys are female, or perhaps just programmed with female voice files.

Bad Gal: Irregular.

They actually hit Hero Shrew hard enough to knock him out. That is alarming. He has a skull like a cinder block. Fireflash suggests a tactical retreat, but the Magus points out that these things, whatever they are, would slaughter the police waiting to apprehend anybody leaving the building. Although judging by the EM spikes Flux can detect from another chamber, a bunch of the Evil Scientists got their emergency teleporter working and are escaping that way. Bad luck for the rest of the staff that didn’t get there in time. Whatever ARGENT came up with when they were creating these guys, they’re certainly highly dangerous, even when they limit themselves to non-lethal attacks.

And then the sprinklers go off. As the only one not wrapped in armour, or force fields, he’s the only one that notices the ‘water’ tingles. And smells weird.

Hero Shrew: What does cerebrospinal fluid smell like? I think it might be mine.

It’s actually scrubbing the complex of DNA evidence. The tanks in the big room were also being purged, but Hardlight gets there in time to stop the program. The contents are all identical clones of a woman we don’t recognise, with cyberbrains installed to ensure total obedience and custom knowledge sets. And it looks like ARGENT were repurposing an old Genesys lab, which will annoy Scooter when his brain stops rattling. It would further seem that ARGENT were planning to use these clone cyber-amazons as replacements for the Doomtroopers when their contract expired.

It’s pretty horrendous, actually. Flux is appalled by the theft of free will, for a start, and Fireflash wants to know exactly why they needed her in captivity again. At least we caught one of the scientists.

Fireflash: You will now tell me everything.
ARGENT Scientist: No I won’t.
Fireflash: *blasts a hole through the wall next to his ear* I wasn’t asking.
Hero Shrew: How come she gets to kill people, I don’t.
Flux: I’m just going to turn off the cameras… we’re going to be in so much trouble.

Apparently he genuinely can’t tell us where the computer records are. Or where his boss is.

Fireflash: I find that difficult to believe.
ARGENT Scientist: That’s because you’re… I mean I’m not surprised.

Fireflash: Take this useless POS away before I do something obscenely violent.
Hero Shrew: Notice that she didn’t say ‘that I’d regret’.
Hardlight: I’m just staying very quiet and out of her way.

There’s still a room half-full of clone bodies that hadn’t woke up yet, before Hardlight shut the room down.

Hardlight: Do we know any AIs that want physical bodies?
Flux: WE ARE NOT GOING THERE.

Hero Shrew: Well, at least we got our Fireflash back
Flux: Did we though? She might be a clone.*pokepoke*
Fireflash: Quit poking me!
Flux: It’s her. A clone would have slapped me.

The Magus: I’m going to go invent a spell that turns cyberbrains into real brains so people stop being immune to my mental powers.
Flux: The mage’s answer to technology, everybody.