Sociotard

When you're the goddess of strife and battle is constant you need a guardian for your sanity, for your very soul. 
Ceass's mythic monster is Keer, the owl-cat griffon. 
 

Well, that is... utterly terrifyingly helpful

Once there was a wisp that Fitz admired. She used her little nudges to help people find things. Keys and kittens, lost children and lost paths. By the laws of hypostases, he reached a portion of his essence out to her, and elevated her. She is no longer limited to mortal awareness. Pray to Strangcharm. Pray to Fitz. But spare a prayer for the one that finds the little things that fell out of notice.
 
Champion: The Patron Saint of Lost Things

Once there was a wisp that Fitz admired. She used her little nudges to help people find things. Keys and kittens, lost children and lost paths. By the laws of hypostases, he reached a portion of his essence out to her, and elevated her. She is no longer limited to mortal awareness. Pray to Strangcharm. Pray to Fitz. But spare a prayer for the one that finds the little things that fell out of notice.
 
Champion: The Patron Saint of Lost Things

With web weavers, it's always on a need to sew basis, and you don't need to sew

Crax observed the creations of some of his fellow gods and felt nothing but contempt.
Talking mice, squirrels, the hippopotamus, fireflies, I mean really ?
A mosquito landed on his hand and began to suck his blood. At least his father knew how to create something that fit his image. It flew off, satiated. ‘Go my pretty, let’s see what my blood does’ thought Murder and then paused.
 
Perhaps he needed to create something that spreads but what did that ? Certain animals and of course plants. A killer plant, he thought, mighty it would be with deadly poisons or thorns that would pierce flesh and extinguished as soon as the races realised what he had done.
But what if he was more subtle about it ? Yes ! He would use the other gods powers and gifts to develop something. Here Multiplicity and his gift of alchemy would be useful for the plant would have different effects on different races.
 
To begin with humans would be the test subjects. They would use the plant as an addition to a drink and it would become an intoxicant. That would lead eventually to someone becoming belligerent and thus murderous. That’s addiction for you.
Elves could drink it as an intoxicant and they would be ok but enough of it would lead them to becoming melancholic and losing all hope.
Dwarves could make all sorts of intoxicants from it but eventually this would lead some to greed and wanting to possess all of the plant to brew the perfect liqueur would lead to madness and murder.
Wisps would occasionally glow with an unnatural fire from prolonged contact leading other races to kill it as a source of ill omen.
Rivers could wash away the plant so they would carry seeds which could suddenly sprout into life and strangle the water in retaliation.
Shades avoid it as it makes them visible even in shadows,
His own race, the K-rac C’ho C’o are poisoned by it.
Gandians are weakened by it for weapons coated with the sap or fruit or the flowers of the plant create a vulnerability that repeated hits will lead to their demise.
The Talking Mice use it for bedding and food but it makes them delicious in certain recipes.
Satyrs drink themselves to death on it.
If a hippopotamus ate enough of it their eyes would glow red and they would turn murderous.
Squirrels could use it for bedding as the mice did. The downside being that people would raid their nests for the plant, especially dwarves the greedy devils.
 
And to cap it all, the plant can be used for healing.
 
It usually grows as a bush which has blue flowers and then produces fruits which all but mosquitoes like until the fruit falls off the bush if not harvested. The fruits cause instant intoxification if then eaten by sentient species but then intense gastric distress and madness. Animals are not affected but prefer to eat the plant before the fruit falls off. If the plant is burned it will not reappear for a while but when it does return it does so slowly.
 
Fauna: Flora Intoxicana aka The Murder Plant

A witless river once stumbled upon Crax asleep. Being young and foolish, the river thought to do a good turn and wash the blood from the murder god's gauntlets.
 
Crax was furious on awaking. How dare the river remove the mark of his slaughters. He cursed the river with unthinking bloodlust, to make it work to achieve that which it had so thoughtlessly destroyed.
 
The people scrambled to find a solution as it left town after town as muddy rubble. The curse left it too powerful to kill, but the God of parts offered a solution:
 
A separate plane of existence.
 
And so, a division was made in reality itself, and the river was forced to the Elemental Plane of Sewers and Middens.
 
Today, access to the plane is fairly easy. Many cities use it to drain wastewater and dump trash. The only god to frequent this offensive place is Fitz, because so many of society's neglected venture to it to scavenge. The work is very dangerous, especially with the river eternally raging. There's also diseased mosquitoes, alligators, rats, poisonous gasses, unstable terrain, and toxic alchemical waste.
 
Geography: the Elemental Plane of Sewage and Middens

A witless river once stumbled upon Crax asleep. Being young and foolish, the river thought to do a good turn and wash the blood from the murder god's gauntlets.
 
Crax was furious on awaking. How dare the river remove the mark of his slaughters. He cursed the river with unthinking bloodlust, to make it work to achieve that which it had so thoughtlessly destroyed.
 
The people scrambled to find a solution as it left town after town as muddy rubble. The curse left it too powerful to kill, but the God of parts offered a solution:
 
A separate plane of existence.
 
And so, a division was made in reality itself, and the river was forced to the Elemental Plane of Sewers and Middens.
 
Today, access to the plane is fairly easy. Many cities use it to drain wastewater and dump trash. The only god to frequent this offensive place is Fitz, because so many of society's neglected venture to it to scavenge. The work is very dangerous, especially with the river eternally raging. There's also diseased mosquitoes, alligators, rats, poisonous gasses, unstable terrain, and toxic alchemical waste.
 
Geography: the Elemental Plane of Sewage and Middens

and here we have Clarkent Kal using Hypostases:
 

 

 
Yes, one of his official powers was midget tossing. the silver age be crazy.

Very well:
Sentient Life: Rivers
 
How do you communicate with a river? Their language includes murmurs, splashes, and knocking rocks.
 
How do you barter with a river? They are fond of cleaning services; they tend to accrue garbage as they meander so dredging out rubbish is welcome. Likewise weirs of activated carbon or highly vegetated land they can relax into marsh. They may also enjoy entertainment or religious services.
 
I'm angry at a river, or afraid of it. What are my options? Steep walls can dam them; they can flow uphill but they have limits. Hit both ends and you can trap it in a canyon. Another option is dirtying them up with excessive dust and sediment. Enough filth can make them sick or even kill them.
 
I've been one pick behind, so I should have one today as well:
 
Animal: Wolves.
 
The wolves of this world will almost never attack children or infants. If they find one abandoned or neglected or abused they are perfectly happy to suckle them and raise them as their own.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6e/Romulus_and_Remus_suckling_the_she-wolf_on_a_riverbank_MET_DP878752.jpg
 
 

Very well:
Sentient Life: Rivers
 
How do you communicate with a river? Their language includes murmurs, splashes, and knocking rocks.
 
How do you barter with a river? They are fond of cleaning services; they tend to accrue garbage as they meander so dredging out rubbish is welcome. Likewise weirs of activated carbon or highly vegetated land they can relax into marsh. They may also enjoy entertainment or religious services.
 
I'm angry at a river, or afraid of it. What are my options? Steep walls can dam them; they can flow uphill but they have limits. Hit both ends and you can trap it in a canyon. Another option is dirtying them up with excessive dust and sediment. Enough filth can make them sick or even kill them.
 
I've been one pick behind, so I should have one today as well:
 
Animal: Wolves.
 
The wolves of this world will almost never attack children or infants. If they find one abandoned or neglected or abused they are perfectly happy to suckle them and raise them as their own.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6e/Romulus_and_Remus_suckling_the_she-wolf_on_a_riverbank_MET_DP878752.jpg
 
 

Very well:
Sentient Life: Rivers
 
How do you communicate with a river? Their language includes murmurs, splashes, and knocking rocks.
 
How do you barter with a river? They are fond of cleaning services; they tend to accrue garbage as they meander so dredging out rubbish is welcome. Likewise weirs of activated carbon or highly vegetated land they can relax into marsh. They may also enjoy entertainment or religious services.
 
I'm angry at a river, or afraid of it. What are my options? Steep walls can dam them; they can flow uphill but they have limits. Hit both ends and you can trap it in a canyon. Another option is dirtying them up with excessive dust and sediment. Enough filth can make them sick or even kill them.
 
I've been one pick behind, so I should have one today as well:
 
Animal: Wolves.
 
The wolves of this world will almost never attack children or infants. If they find one abandoned or neglected or abused they are perfectly happy to suckle them and raise them as their own.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6e/Romulus_and_Remus_suckling_the_she-wolf_on_a_riverbank_MET_DP878752.jpg
 
 

When your life is strife, you tend towards an aggressive outlook. Even your herbivores are cranky at best, and at worst don't mind chowing down on a clown who gets too close. Besides, what army wouldn't want a cavalry of armored, aggressive, hippos?
 
My Faua Pick:  Hippopotamus.

Very well:
Sentient Life: Rivers
 
How do you communicate with a river? Their language includes murmurs, splashes, and knocking rocks.
 
How do you barter with a river? They are fond of cleaning services; they tend to accrue garbage as they meander so dredging out rubbish is welcome. Likewise weirs of activated carbon or highly vegetated land they can relax into marsh. They may also enjoy entertainment or religious services.
 
I'm angry at a river, or afraid of it. What are my options? Steep walls can dam them; they can flow uphill but they have limits. Hit both ends and you can trap it in a canyon. Another option is dirtying them up with excessive dust and sediment. Enough filth can make them sick or even kill them.
 
I've been one pick behind, so I should have one today as well:
 
Animal: Wolves.
 
The wolves of this world will almost never attack children or infants. If they find one abandoned or neglected or abused they are perfectly happy to suckle them and raise them as their own.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6e/Romulus_and_Remus_suckling_the_she-wolf_on_a_riverbank_MET_DP878752.jpg
 
 

Very well:
Sentient Life: Rivers
 
How do you communicate with a river? Their language includes murmurs, splashes, and knocking rocks.
 
How do you barter with a river? They are fond of cleaning services; they tend to accrue garbage as they meander so dredging out rubbish is welcome. Likewise weirs of activated carbon or highly vegetated land they can relax into marsh. They may also enjoy entertainment or religious services.
 
I'm angry at a river, or afraid of it. What are my options? Steep walls can dam them; they can flow uphill but they have limits. Hit both ends and you can trap it in a canyon. Another option is dirtying them up with excessive dust and sediment. Enough filth can make them sick or even kill them.
 
I've been one pick behind, so I should have one today as well:
 
Animal: Wolves.
 
The wolves of this world will almost never attack children or infants. If they find one abandoned or neglected or abused they are perfectly happy to suckle them and raise them as their own.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6e/Romulus_and_Remus_suckling_the_she-wolf_on_a_riverbank_MET_DP878752.jpg
 
 

Have your thoughts had time to pickle?
 
I'll take another domain:  Midwifery and Birth Control

Have your thoughts had time to pickle?
 
I'll take another domain:  Midwifery and Birth Control

I didn't see anyone take oceans or rivers? Did I miss it?
 
Secondary Domain: Water
 
As the world broke, the ocean was no more. Fitz, god of bastards, saw the waters tumble into droplets in the elemental chaos, and would not have them forgotten.
 
He spoke to them, of the new world. He spoke of the gifts of intelligence and ambition and everything else he had seen.
 
And the fatherless waters answered.
 
They seeped in through the cracks of the chimneyworlds, and as all bastards must ventured on their own.
 
They honored the edict of Multiplicity. The old world had contiguous oceans, but this world received rivers.
 
Living rivers.
 
Thinking rivers.
 
They did not hold to channels. They did not respect the logic of flowing downhill. They flowed where they chose. Some were a thousand miles long and took years to pass through. Some were mere creeks bartering with farmers. Some were murderous, crashing as flash floods through towns. Others loved commerce and took contracts as canals. "Lake" is a mean word for a fat lazy river with no noticeable flow.
 
Tldr, rivers are alive, they don't flow into an ocean because there isn't one, and they flow where they wish.
 
Death Tribble, I took this as a secondary domain so I could stipulate the nature of water, removing oceans. If you need me to spend my sentient life on them too, that is acceptable.

A man screaming at the sunken statue "you maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"
 
Onlookers ask "What's his problem?" "I think he's on crack. or fell out of a crack. same thing really."

The foreman said: "By the Bastard! How are we supposed to move these rocks? This monument won't build itself!"
 
The devotee of Oeneus looked up from his reverie, and said: "Rollers. We put them on rollers."

And that is how Oeneus became the god of Sex, Drugs and Rolling Rocks...
---
Interference: Fitz's monuments are built using rollers.
 
It's too petty to justify this as a Secondary Domain, unless DT declares otherwise.
 
I originally intended to use this joke much later in the draft, as the end of a Shaggy Dog story. 

A man screaming at the sunken statue "you maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"
 
Onlookers ask "What's his problem?" "I think he's on crack. or fell out of a crack. same thing really."

A man screaming at the sunken statue "you maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"
 
Onlookers ask "What's his problem?" "I think he's on crack. or fell out of a crack. same thing really."

Interference: The secret of Alchemy Lances is jealously guarded by the mercenary army "The Sons of the Gun"
 
Just imagine a breech loader that takes alchemical vials instead of brass rounds. Tack some glowing runes along the barrel and you've got it.
 

Interference: The secret of Alchemy Lances is jealously guarded by the mercenary army "The Sons of the Gun"
 
Just imagine a breech loader that takes alchemical vials instead of brass rounds. Tack some glowing runes along the barrel and you've got it.