MilkmanDan

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat The Secret Service have been replaced by Girl Scouts wielding spitballs. NT: Dick Cheney was in a wheelchair today, apparently because he pulled a back muscle moving boxes in his new house. Boring! What is the real reason he had to be in a wheelchair?

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat Have a really good time playing Left 4 Dead.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat By borrowing the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator from Marvin.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat "So, when I press this button, a hand reaches out of the remote user's monitor and slaps them across the face. I call it the 'Seriously, morons, listen to me' tool." NT: It was -31 this morning. How would Foxbat handle the cold?

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat "No more licking ourselves clean! Let's get the humans to do it!"

Re: The "Nice Happy" Thread Yep. I argued long and hard that, if we got a boy cat, I got to name it. She hates my name. I don't care. I won my case. She's naming the girl kitty Stella, while the boy kitty is going to be named Westerberg. As in Paul Westerberg, former leader of The Replacements, my favorite musician ever. She HATES the name and says she'll call him "Wes", which she can handle. All the cats (and our kids) wind up with about 50 nicknames anyways, so I doubt it really matters.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat "He was a doting father, a good husband, and a friend to many. Also, his penis was HUGE." NT: Ways I should probably not introduce the two kittens we're getting to our two older cats.

Re: The "Nice Happy" Thread When my wife and I started dating eleven or so years ago, I had one cat. She had five. Sounds like a lot, I know, but you get used to it--you always had a cat on your lap when you sat down, they slept on our bed, we just had constant companions. Well, when we moved in together, I had to get rid of my cat (it didn't play well with others). The about four years ago Squid died, two years ago we lost Maddie, and Tootie died a couple months ago (my wife did the naming). We still have Claudia, who's 17, and Bea, who's 15. They're old and slow, and the house just seems empty. So . . . tonight, it's kitten time! Getting two kitties tonight from a lady who works at a rescue league. We had to get approved, so on New Years' Day we went to her house so she could verify the kids were OK, and they loved the kittens, played with them constantly for an hour while we were there. We just told them we were going to meet mama's friend Nancy who takes care of cats. They have absolutely no idea we're getting kittens. I am giddy at this point; I can't wait to see my son's face when he sees the kittens. The whole plan is the wife has stuff to do after work and will get them and bring them home while I take the kids to swimming lessons at the YMCA tonight. When we get home, they'll be waiting for us. The 17-year-old cat will be OK with it, she's old and cranky and doesn't move much. The 15-year-old was freaked out by my old cat when I tried to bring it into the house, but the hope is (A) she's much older now, and ( they're kittens, and not adult cats, so there won't be as much of an "alpha kitty" concern from her. Woo.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat "His pelvis was crushed, but he had this huge smile on his face. Kept muttering something about 'snu-snu'."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat He's watching me check out all the Sin City books, knowing how much I'm going to hate the things. NT: Frank Miller has an uncommonly happy day. What kind of a story does he write?

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat Whoopi @#$!@!! Goldberg for any @#$@#$%!!! part you can @#$!!! imagine!!!!

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat "Dammit, Spock! Have you no compassion???" "Indeed I do, Doctor, and it seems quite logical at this juncture to suggest you should bite me."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat Fans cry, as it winds up sucking. Hard. NT: Captain James Tiberius Kirk died a pretty lame death back in Generations; think up a cooler and more appropriate death for him.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat "And today, first graders, you will learn to defend yourself if attacked by a man carrying . . . a banana!" NT: Things you would like to use a 16 ton weight for.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat Because they'll mass their fleets of giant sharks and killer Panda bears on the shores of their beaches, and swim across the Indian Ocean to get to us! Then, they'll show up in the lederhosen, get off their camels, and take all our stuff!!! What? I went to public school, what do you expect?

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat "Your name is what? Kalabooboo? Gazafoofoo? Zsazsapoopoo?"

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat When they're talking about Kate Winslet's two Golden Globes, they're not talking about film awards.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat Dick Cheney is Captain Really, I'm Not A Total Bastard, Believe It Or Not NT: Evil things Dick Cheney did when he was six years old.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat Whatever it is, it features a can of Cream of Mushroom soup, french-fried onions, and a casserole dish. NT: How not to welcome new kittens to your house.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat Considering how hard I laughed, I'll be joining you. Must spread rep, yadda yadda. "Boy, the best thing about working from home is I can pick up all you prostitutes while still getting paid!"

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat "Villains! Fear me! I am Captain North Dakota!" "Hey, did you hear something? I thought I heard a noise." "Nope, didn't hear a thing. Let's get back to robbing this bank." "Um, villains, I'm right here!" "I could have sworn I almost noticed something, but it was apparently too irrelevant to pay attention to."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat "Luke--I am your father!" "Arf! Arf!" NT: Other shocking revelations given by Darth Vader to Luke that didn't make the final cut.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat "If you run really fast, maybe the missile won't hit you."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat "That was Poland? Honestly, it was a nice Fall day, we all decided to go for a drive, and, next thing you know, Britain's all overreacting and we're in this giant mess . . ." NT: Unknown, comical reasons why World War II actually happened.