Michael Hopcroft

Brothers

Q: Anybody knew where the King of Elf-Land's Daughter went off to? A: Of course I want you to be here at the climax. That's rather the point.

Random thought experiment. Find eleven Trojans and arrange them in a line of battle with their full armament. Now find eleven ducks. Doesn't sound like much of a contest, right? Not unless you've got some really tough, nasty ducks.

And the Canadian league (which is getting ready for its postseason) but still, the percentage of college players who become full-fledged pros is alarmingly small. For those who aren't NFL prospects, that degree matters. There are still jobs in football for those who don;t become pro players -- coaching at the high school level comes to mind, for which you will need a teaching certificate which in turn requires a degree in PE.

Where does she go to get her cheekbones sharpened?

Q: And that's how I've been getting these platinum eggs. So what do you think? A: This one has neither red nor blue wires. In fact, it has no wires at all.

A new book as has been released with some of the clearest color photos surviving from World War II. The few photos they printed with the article are relatively tame, but the article states that many of the ones in the book "have the power to shock" even in 2019.

A massive cosplay LARP of Stargate SG-1 with everyone carrying real guns and Foxbat (still dressed as Foxbat) playing Colonel O'Neill.

Q: I know you think you're following the instructions, but are you sure you're pointing your piston in the right direction? A: Nothing human could have done this, so I blame social media, like I blame it for everything else.

Will Tom Brady be a Charger? Simple answer? no.

It took the MNF officials nearly fifteen minutes to resolve a fourth-down attempt at the end of the third quarter. Needless to say the call ended up going against the hapless Miami Dolphins, whose management is deliberately attempting to go 0-16 so they can be in optimum draft position (so they can rebuild young and cheap). MNF is no longer the showcase game it once was, and this (Miami at Pittsburgh) was a pretty bad match-up. Steelers tackle Zach Banner has reported as an eligible receiver at least ten times. He has no targets and apparently is being sent into the game for extra muscle. The thing is there is another team with no wins -- the Bengals -- and the Bengals have played one more game than the Dolphins. They meet on the 22nd of December, and theoretically one of those teams has to win. But with top management in both Cincy and Miami blatantly tanking, it could be an ugly game. The victims are the players who are there now, who want to win but have too few weapons, not to mention the coaches who will become the scapegoats

"Proxima Centauri or Fight!" NT: Unexpected consequences of the invention of galactic teleportation within the next decade.

Bullet in the Head (1990) In his Hong King days, John Woo was an extremely influential director for the way he was able to blend violence and poetry. The Killer and Once a Thief are true classics. But this was the movie where he really made his mark, and it is truly unfortunate that so few North Americans have seen it. In the late 1960s, three young Hong Kong hoods on the bottom rung of the criminal ladder are sent out on a smuggling run delivering unspecified contraband to Saigon. Needless to say, everything goes south and the cargo is lost. This leads the unfortunate hoods on an odyssey through wartime Vietnam, where they must deal with arrogant Yankees, corrupt Saigon crime syndicates, and the madness of the Viet Cong. Along way one of the men develops a sort of conscience, while another loses what little sense of morality he had. Asian perspectives on the Vietnam War are rarely seen in North America. Americans like to think of the war as their tragedy. Yes, almost 289,000 "Allied" forces lost their lives, but of these only about 58,000 of them were Americans. There were an estimated 444,000 "enemy" deaths and more than 600,000 civilians were killed. That doesn't include the massive suffering inflicted by the Hanoi government on defeated South Vietnam. It was very much an Asian war, most of it fought by Asians. I don't think Americans like to be seen as they are seen by the peoples who fought with them (and were then left to their fate) very much.

With LSU winning and Oklahoma losing (not going to rub salt in that wound), to my mind the playoff field is pretty much set. The most dangerous opponents left for Alabama and LSU are each other. Ohio State and Clemson would get the other slots. A lot of very stable dominoes would need to fall for Oregon to have even a sniff of getting in even if they win out.

Build a Money Bin so he can go swimming in it!

Carl Denham is very much the picture of Hollywood megalomania -- and hubris. No wonder the story appealed to Peter Jackson, who is himself a picture of megalomania and hubris.

How many megatons of explosives would it take to destroy that asteroid that will hit the Earth two days after this exam? NT: Subtle signs the asteroid about to hit the Earth is not much of a threat after all.

Speaking of Holmes -- The Seven-Percent Solution (1984) A complete re-imagining of "The Final Problem". Holmes has been harassing an innocent mathematics professor and becoming increasingly paranoid. For Dr. Watson, the problem seems obvious: Holmes' cocaine habit has become full-fledged addiction and is making him paranoid. The great detective would not live very much longer if he kept this up, so Watson and Mycroft Holmes concocts a scheme to take Holmes to Vienna where he knows of a practitioner who can help him -- perhaps the only one who can. That provider is Dr. Sigmund Freud. And once they arrived Holmes must confront his problem once and for all. during that period, he also comes to the aid of an actress in the power of an Austrian nobleman with sordid ambitions. The acting is uniformly excellent: Nicol Williamson as Holmes, Robert Duvall as Watson, Alan Arkin as Freud, and near-cameos by Laurence Olivier and Charles Gray. There is a heartbreaking scene that seems to have been cut from home video releases in which Watson and Freud discover that Holmes had been hiding cocaine bottles (cocaine was still legal in most of Europe) in his violin case is place of the instrument. Later in the film Freud finds Holmes another violin, and the detective plays it for the Freud family to their great delight.

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1984) and subsequent seasons (until 1994) Adapted from the Conan Doyle stories directly, this series sumptuously brought the late Victorian era to life. But the really great part was that played by Jeremy Brett, who seemed to have almost literally stepped out of the pages of the books and brought Holmes to life. His mercurial nature, his arrogance and ego, his amazing talent, his mastery of disguise, even his drug issues -- he was the Platonic ideal of an actor playing Sherlock Holmes. I sincerely doubt that we will ever see anything quite like it again. In addition, David Burke and later Edward Hardwicke redefined film/TV portrayals of Dr. Watson. Holmes would not suffer a fool, and Watson was no fool. He was still a perfect foil for Holmes, but practical where Holmes was whimsical -- firmly grounded in reality where Holmes often lived in his own mind. I cannot recommend this highly enough.

Q: Feed It? A: No, you can't date battleships. That never ends well.

Low Chaparall

Q: What are you getting all wibbly-wobbly timey-whimey about? A: And now I am dealing with the Platonic ideal of the great and total fool.

Those were the days when Brussels used to dream Those were the days when films showed on silent screens Those were the days when Brussels used to sing Those were the days when Brussels was Brussels proud On Place de Broukère you could see shop windows With men, and women in crinoline Place de Broukère you could see the omnibus With women, and men in toppers And on the upper deck Their hearts amongst the stars There was my grandfather There was my grandmother He was in the army She in the civil service He didn’t think, she thought nothing And you still want me to be bright? Those were the days when Brussels used to sing Those were the days when films showed on silent screens Those were the days when Brussels used to dream Those were the days when Brussels was Brussels proud On the cobbles of place Ste-Catherine Men danced with women in crinoline On the cobblestones omnibuses danced As did women, and men in toppers And on the upper deck Their hearts among the stars There was my grandfather There was my grandmother He had a way with him She'd let him get away with it Therefore they'd both done it And you still want me to be serious? Those were the days when Brussels used to dream Those were the days when films showed on silent screens Those were the days when Brussels used to dance Those were the days when Brussels was Brussels proud Under paper lanterns on place Ste-Justine Men sang with women in crinoline Under paper lanterns omnibuses danced As did women, and men in toppers And on the upper deck Their hearts amongst the stars There was my grandfather There was my grandmother He was waiting for the war She was expecting my father They were are merry as the canal And you still want me to perk up? Those were the days when Brussels used to dream Those were the days when films showed on silent screens Those were the days when Brussels used to sing Those were the days when Brussels was Brussels proud

Madam struts her ass along the ramparts of Warsaw Madam carries her heart on the has-beens of her madness Madam walks her shadow around the main squares of Italy I think Madam is living quite the life Madam walks around at dawn with the signs of her sleepless nights Madam rides around on a horse with her moods and whims Madam walks around with an idiot who assures Madam that she's pretty I think Madam has everything going for her Whereas every night I'm a janitor at l'Alcazar Madam wanders in the summer all the way to the south of France Madam struts her breasts all the way to the lucky South Madam hauls her melancholy all along Lake Constance I think Madam is quite inconstant Madam walks around with her dog, a black pudding named Byzance Madam drags her childhood around, which varies depending on circumstances Madam carries her Russian accent all around quite easily True that Madam is from Valenc3! Whereas every night I'm a barman at l'Alcazar Madam wears her hair with a sweet scent of the nights of China Madam's eyes wander over every old man owning a factory Madam carries her laugh as other people carry their Vaseline I think Madam is naughty Madam moves her booze-ups around from brandy glass to brandy glass Madam walks around with the genes of twenty thousand marine officers Madam goes around saying that my nickname is Auntie Jacqueline I think Madam is a bad friend Whereas every night I'm a slinky singer at l'Alcazar Madam has her hands wandering though all the army corps Madam roams with my money among small-time thugs Madam rides around in a coach she wishes I would pull I think Madam is cheeky Madam goes around with casino debts that she rather I paid Madam wears jewels that she enjoys charging me for Madam rides around in my Rolls Royce sued by some bailiffs I think Madam is being hasty Whereas every night I wash up dishes at l'Alcazar Madam struts her ass along the ramparts of Warsaw Madam carries her heart on the has-beens of her madness Madam walks her shadow around the main squares of Italy I think Madam is living quite the life Madam walks around at dawn with the signs of her sleepless nights Madam rides around on a horse with her moods and whims Madam walks around with an idiot who assures Madam that she's pretty I think Madam has everything going for her Whereas every night I'm a janitor at l'Alcazar Madam wanders in the summer all the way to the south of France Madam struts her breasts all the way to the south of luck Madam hauls her melancholy all along the lake Constance I think Madam is quite inconstant Madam walks around with her dog, a black pudding named Byzance Madam drags her childhood around, which varies depending on circumstances Madam carries her Russian accent all around quite easily True that Madam is from Valence!

To dream an impossible dream To bear the burden of enterprise To burn, though it may be fever, To go where no one will go To love until torn asunder To love too much, even wrongly To attempt, without an army, without armor, To reach for the unreachable star, That is my quest, To follow my star I don't care about my chances I don't care about time, or how wretched I am and I'll struggle forever without sleep, without complaint, To be condemned For the gold of one utterance of love. I don't know if I will be this hero but my heart holds fast and the towns have been shrouded in blue because of one poor soul Burn on, till all's been burnt Burn on, burn too much, even wrongly To reach out till I'm torn apart, To reach for the unreachable star.