Houston GM

The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.
 
Dent: ork, rat shaman
No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer
Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist
Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic
Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems
Happy Jack: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator
Euphoria / Amanda Lockhart (NPC): an A-list simsense star
simsense: a virtual reality entertainment where the viewer experiences the sensations the actor/actress experiences
 
Euphoria, part 2 - Catch and release program
This was the same module previously described by Drhoz (here).
 
Euphoria regained consciousness in one of the team's temporary safehouses in the ork underground. As the "people person" of the team, it was Happy Jack's job to explain the situation to the captive.
 
Happy Jack: "Ms. Lockhart, we have been hired to ensure that you miss your public appearances for the next few days. After that, you'll be returned to your normal life. It may be easiest if you consider this to be a relaxing, though somewhat boring vacation."
Euphoria: (looking around the apartment with wide eyes) "Is this the ork underground?"
Happy Jack: "Yes."
Euphoria: "Oh." (long pause) "I thought it would be bigger."
 
Having accomplished the abduction, Happy Jack went to the apartment (the probable trap) to collect the first half of the team's pay. Eye Spy accompanied him in order to provide overwatch with her drones. To avoid being caught in a trap, Happy Jack disguised himself as a gang member and hid two floors above the apartment.
 
Eye Spy: (over the comm to Jack) "The courier arrived. You won't believe what he looks like."
Happy Jack: "He looks completely out of place."
Eye Spy: "That's an understatement. He looks like a refugee from an 80s' spy movie. He's wearing an oversized hat, an oversized raincoat and oversized sunglasses." (choking back laughter) "Best of all, the hat and coat are BEIGE."
Happy Jack decided to monitor the situation through the wireless microcams Byte Force had planted.
Happy Jack: (over the comm to Eye Spy) "This has gotten even sillier. He's at the door of the apartment stage whispering lines to nursery rhymes like they're some kind of passcode."
Eye Spy: "So, are you going to go say 'Hi' to Mr. Secrent Agent Man?"
Happy Jack: "Nope."
Eye Spy: (suddenly serious) "He has our money."
Happy Jack: "And I'm dressed like a gang member. I'm going to mug him for our money. That way it will look like we're not connected to him."
 
The oversized hat blocked the courier's peripheral vision, allowing Happy Jack to blindside him. Happy Jack left with the team's pay, the courier's personal credstick, the courier's cellphone, and the courier's corporate ID. As Happy Jack and Eye Spy drove away....
 
Happy Jack: (looking at the courier's ID) "As we thought, he's from Ludivenko ..." (pause) "... and he's the mailboy? What kind of idiot sends the mailboy on a black op?"
Happy Jack used the courier's cellphone to call the number the Ludivenko street samurai had provided the team.
Ludivenko street sam: "Hello."
Happy Jack: "Hello. We met the other night. You have serious flaws with your operational security."
Ludivenko street sam: "What went wrong?"
Happy Jack: "Your courier showed up in the most conspicuous outfit possible. He got mugged by a huge troll. The troll got our money, the courier's credstick and the courier's ID."
Ludivenko street sam: "Did the troll get away?"
Happy Jack: "With our money? No. I chased him down." (pause) "I've made certain that the troll won't be talking to anyone about this ... ever. But your courier seems to be a serious operational liability. You might want to plug that leak."
Ludivenko street sam: "You didn't harm the courier, did you?"
Happy Jack: "No. The mugger probably did some damage." (pause) "Your employee is your problem ... unless you want to pay us to get rid of him."
 
Audacity Jane was Euphoria's primary guard. The two of them didn't exactly hit it off.
 
Euphoria: "I'm glad that I'm missing those public appearances. I really didn't want to face all those fans. It's so depressing, seeing all those pathetic fans idolizing me because they don't have lives of their own." (pause) "But I guess you wouldn't know what that's like."
Audacity Jane: "True. My fans have lives."
Euphoria: (in disbelief) "You have fans?"
Audacity Jane: "Sure. Mostly they're fixers or managers at megacorporations. Unlike your fans, mine don't pay me to make public appearances, get naked or do sex scenes. Instead, they pay me to abduct people, steal things and make problems disappear. I have a lot fewer fans than you, but on an individual basis, they pay a lot more for my services."
 
Euphoria also became curious about the farraday cage that the team had built into the walls, ceiling and floor.
 
Euphoria: "Why is there metal covering the walls?"
Dent: "That's to keep the devil rats out of the apartment."
Euphoria: "There are rats in here?!?"
Dent: "No. There are rats out there," (waving vaguely toward the walls) "and the metal makes sure they stay out there."
No-Step: (quietly to the others) "That was mean."
Byte Force: "No. That was brilliant."
No-Step: "Brilliant?"
Byte Force: "Not only did he dissuade her from messing with the farraday cage, he's also given her incentive to stay inside the apartment."
 
As the hours passed, Euphoria began to express her displeasure with the lack of luxury.
 
Euphoria: "I have nothing to wear."
Audacity Jane: "There are several bags of clothes over there. They're your size."
Euphoria: (looking through the bags) "I can't wear these. They're cheap."
Audacity Jane: "You have several choices. Option one, you can keep wearing your current outfit for the next few days. Option two, you can wear the clothes in the bags. Option three, you can prance around the apartment naked. I know which option the testosterone factories in the next room would prefer, but the decision is up to you."
Euphoria: "Fine!"
Euphoria began taking some clothes out of the bag.
Euphoria: (staring pointedly at Jane) "Can I get some privacy?"
Audacity Jane: "No."
Euphoria: "What?"
Audacity Jane: "You're a captive. Captives don't get privacy. But again, you have some options. You can change in front of me. You can change in front of one of your other guards. Or you can skip changing your clothes for the next few days."
 
Audacity Jane couldn't watch Euphoria 24/7, so Happy Jack and Eye Spy were the two alternate guards.
 
Audacity Jane: (to Eye Spy) "Why is Euphoria insisting that she wants anyone except you to guard her?"
Eye Spy: (staring at the floor) "Well, I'm not intimidating like you or Jack, so I thought she would make trouble while I was guarding her."
Audacity Jane: "And...?"
Eye Spy: "So I took one of my drones in the room with me."
Audacity Jane: "And...?"
Eye Spy: "And I set the fire control mode to 'Track Target'."
 
Euphoria also had issues with the food. Specifically, her favorite food (Amber Gel) wasn't available.
 
Eye Spy: "She's a celebrity who actually likes the product she's promoting? That seems unlikely."
Happy Jack: "Especially considering it's a food product sold at Stuffer Shack."
Eye Spy: "Maybe it's successful because they're putting addictive chemicals in it?
Happy Jack: "We may need to go buy some then."
Byte Force: "And run some chemical tests on it."
Happy Jack: "That too. More importantly, we need some around in case our captive starts exhibiting withdrawal symptoms."
 
The Amber Gel turned out to be even more suspicious. When No-Step astrally assenced it, he got a momentary impression that it was swarming with ants.
 
Byte Force: "I expect megacorps to plant bugs in their electronics and software, but this takes it to a whole new dimension."
 
The team had a high degree of professional paranoia. High enough that some "surprises" became planned-for events.
 
No-Step: "Excuse me. Could I have everyone's attention? It's urgent."
A few seconds passed as everyone woke up, tuned in and/or shut up.
No-Step: "Someone is trying to use ritual magick on Euphoria, probably to locate her."
Eye Spy: "Do we need to move to another safehouse?"
No-Step: "That may be premature."
Dent: "It should take some time for them to overcome the protection of our wards. That gives us time."
Eye Spy: "Time to pack?"
Dent: (grinning evilly) "Time for us to backtrack the casting and dish out the astral equivalent of a back-alley beatdown."
 
Less than a day later, Euphoria missed her final public appearance for Strice Foods. The team dropped her off at Megamedia's law offices (which were a safe location for a simsense star, and unlikely to be staked out by anyone looking for her abductors). As promised, the remainder of the team's money was delivered by the Ludivenko street samurai, and not by a member of their mailroom staff.
 
The mission was successfully completed, but there were still unanswered questions about Amber Gel....

The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.
 
Dent: ork, rat shaman
No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer
Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist
Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic
Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems
Happy Jack: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator
Mr. Johnson (NPC): generic name used by/for secretive employers who hire shadowrunners
Euphoria / Amanda Lockhart (NPC): an A-list simsense star
simsense: a virtual reality entertainment where the viewer experiences the sensations the actor/actress experiences
 
Euphoria, part 1 - So you want to abduct a simsense star
This was the same module previously described by Drhoz (here).
 
An ork/troll team does not have the benefit of Inkubus' libido to distract a simsense star. Fortunately, they found other options.
 
Mr. Johnson requested a meeting at night, at a little used part of the docks. Happy Jack went to the meeting wearing coveralls, a hard hat and a safety vest. He was met by a too-slick Mr. Johnson, a corporate bodyguard/driver in a cheap kevlar-lined suit, and a leather-clad street samurai.
 
Mr. Johnson: (to Happy Jack) "You're not what I was expecting."
Happy Jack: "You're hiring us, in part, for our ability to blend in. Of the four of us, I'm absolutely certain that I'm the only one who looks like I belong here."
 
Euphoria had been hired to make several appearances to promote Amber Gel for Strice Foods. Mr. Johnson wanted the team to ensure that she missed all of her scheduled appearances.
 
Mr. Johnson: "As part of the deal, no harm comes to the lady. Treat her like royalty. You get half your pay after you abduct her. You get the other half after she misses her final appearance."
Happy Jack: "Just to be clear, you are going to deliver the first half of the money before her first scheduled appearance."
Mr. Johnson: "I suppose that could be arranged."
Happy Jack: "If we don't receive the first half of the money by then, we will arrange for Euphoria to arrive at her first public appearance on time."
 
Mr. Johnson wanted the team to hold Euphoria at an apartment that he was providing.
 
Mr. Johnson: "As I said before, treat her like royalty. Here is a keycard to an apartment in the Barrens. Your first half of the pay will be delivered to you at the apartment."
Happy Jack: "What kind of intrusion countermeasures are there on the apartment?"
Mr. Johnson: "Um ... I'm not sure...."
Happy Jack: (raising an eyebrow) "What rating are the magickal wards on the apartment?"
Mr. Johnson: "I ... uh ... I don't believe there are any."
Happy Jack: "What kind of countermeasures are there to block implanted tracking devices?"
Mr. Johnson: "What? I'm not sure what you're talking about."
Happy Jack: "We'll be holding Euphoria at a location of our choosing. A secure location."
Mr. Johnson: "Okay. But your pay will be delivered to the apartment."
 
The team had been instructed to treat Euphoria "like royalty," but they weren't certain what Mr. Johnson expected. So they visited the apartment in the Barrens to see what level of luxury Mr. Johnson had been planning to provide.
 
Audacity Jane: "The security on this complex is pathetic. Aside from the card key at the apartment door, the only other security was the sleeping guard in the lobby ... and I'm not sure what's going to kill him first: heart failure or old age."
Dent opened the door to the apartment, then abruptly stopped.
Dent: "Brace yourself. I know you make fun of my housekeeping, but this place is bad by my standards."
No-Step: "I didn't think that was possible. Particularly because you don't have housekeeping standards."
No-Step entered the apartment.
No-Step: "I guess I was wrong. Compared to this, even you have standards."
Dent: (looking through the kitchen) "They supplied us with food. All of it seems to be produced by Ludivenko Foods, one of Strice Foods' competitors. Do you think our employers were incompetent enough to leave a clue to their identity, or do you think this is a clever bit of misdirection?"
Eye Spy: (looking through the closet) "They also provided some women's clothing." (looking at the tags) "And it's for an average-sized woman. Who in the hell thinks a simsense star is 'average-sized'?"
No-Step: "I think we can rule out clever misdirection."
Byte Force began hiding a couple wireless microcams at the apartment.
Dent: "Are you planning to record the mating habits of cockroaches?"
Byte Force: "No. I want to see who backtracks our employers to this trap."
 
The team had about 30 hours before Euphoria's first public appearance. As usual, the decker proved an invaluable information-gathering resource.
 
Byte Force: "Euphoria has a personal bodyguard who lives with her full-time. It looks like they recently picked up a second personal bodyguard who also stays on the premises. For the next few days she also has temporary security. Rotating shifts of Knight Errant guards, four guards per shift." (pausing dramatically) "But there's good news. The first shift of Knight Errant guards doesn't start until this evening."
Happy Jack: "So we try to get her before the shift starts. Is there anybody on staff that No-Step and I can impersonate?"
Byte Force: "The building has a rather small staff. They probably know each other well."
Audacity Jane: "We have to assume her personal guard is professional. He should know the building staff too."
Happy Jack: "Are her personal bodyguards hired through Knight Errant?"
Byte Force: "They appear to be independent."
Happy Jack: "So they probably don't know the Knight Errant guards. We capture the first shift of guards before they get to the apartment, then impersonate them."
Audacity Jane: "I like it. Guards don't expect to be targeted when they're not working."
 
Things went according to plan until the team entered the apartment. The second personal bodyguard, who turned out to be a hermetic mage, noticed that there was a lot of magick for four supposedly "mundane" bodyguards. Fortunately, Audacity Jane borrowed a rule from the Han Solo guide to tactics ... she shot first.
 
Removing Euphoria from the premises was even simpler. We put her in a padded box and sent her out with a "courier" (Eye Spy).
 
Happy Jack: (calling the building's concierge) "We have a box in the foyer of Ms. Euphoria's penthouse. A courier will be coming to pick it up shortly."
Concierge: "Where is Mr. Adams? Usually he calls this kind of request in."
Happy Jack: (rolling his eyes) "He's busy pacifying her royal highness. I hope he gets hazard pay for dealing with her."
Concierge: "He does. We don't."
 
After that, the team just killed time until the next shift arrived. They were dropped in the penthouse foyer, largely through the use of neurostun gas grenades which were hidden in the houseplants.
 
No-Step: "I'm never going to trust a ficus after this."
 
With every potential witness drugged and unconscious, the team was back at the safehouse before anyone realized Euphoria was missing.
 
Of course, then the team needed to treat Euphoria "like royalty" for three days. Some jobs are harder than others....

Heck, if we'd considered how useful libido could be in easily resolving missions, we might not have played all orks and trolls. (And if the tool you have is Inkubus, every problem looks like it can be nailed.)
 
In addition, you use that boat about the same way we used the Ork Underground. It's a great hideout that totally screws up most enemies.
 
 
The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.   Dent: ork, rat shaman No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems Happy Jack / Jonathan Bridges: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator Euphoria / Amanda Lockhart (NPC): an A-list simsense star Mr. Johnson (NPC): the generic name used for/by people who hire shadowrunners Ellery Whitecastle (NPC): the fixer that set the team up with Ludivenko's Mr. Johnson simsense: a virtual reality entertainment where the viewer experiences the sensations the actor/actress experiences   Euphoria, part 3 - Busted This was the same module previously described by Drhoz (here).   The team had discovered that there was something strange about Amber Gel, but they weren't sure what. It was time to use their collective talents to dig up some dirt.   The Dirt: Amber Gel was Strice Foods' hottest new product. It was about to make the leap from the test market (Seattle) to the global market. The manager in charge of Amber Gel, Vincent Burroughs, was completely incompetent. The only thing saving his career was that he was the sole point of contact between Strice and the unknown manufacturer. For some reason, Vincent Burroughs was having difficulty meeting the increased demand for production. Ludivenko was concerned about the success of Amber Gel. In response, they were about to release their own knock-off product. Amber Gel contained no artificial colors, no artificial flavors, no artificial sweeteners and no artificial preservatives. It was by far the most 'natural' product ever sold in a Stuffer Shack. It also contained a natural preservative that was vaguely related to those found in honey.   Byte Force: "Add in No-Step's vision, and I'm going to guess that Amber Gel may be made by ants." Eye Spy: "They're probably genetically modified ants." Happy Jack: "I wouldn't rule out paracritters. There are likely some undiscovered species of awakened ant. This could be connected to one of them" Dent: "I guess it's time to stock up on bug spray." Byte Force: "I'll try to find something that's nonflammable. We may want to use it a building that we want intact." Eye Spy: "If a building is full of awakened or genetically modified ants, I vote for burning it to the ground." No-Step: "I understand your enthusiasm, but if we're inside of the building, I'd prefer to have an inflammable option available." Audacity Jane, Byte Force, Dent and Happy Jack: (almost in unison) "Nonflammable." Eye Spy: "Aren't they the same thing?" Happy Jack: "And this is why I buy all of the munitions for you two."   After two days of investigation, the team was interrupted by a business-related call...   Ellery Whitecastle: (on the phone with Jonathan Bridges) "We've got a bit of a problem. MegaMedia somehow discovered that your team was behind Euphoria's disappearance." Jonathan Bridges: "They 'somehow discovered' this information? You knew my team was involved. Our client knew we were involved. That's a very short list of potential leaks." Ellery Whitecastle: "Um ... well ... On the bright side, so far, they're peaceful. They want you to meet with Robert Carrone, her manager, at the Pacific Towers lobby at eleven this morning." Jonathan Bridges: "You make it sound so enticing ... and safe." Ellery Whitecastle: "It's possible that they will excuse our involvement if you give them any information you have on our former employer." Jonathan Bridges: "Our client paid for our silence. I think you'll have to send MegaMedia my regrets." Ellery Whitecastle: (sounding stressed) "Could you at least have your team meet with Carrone? At least see what he has to say?" Jonathan Bridges: "Why? Did he threaten to kill you if I don't meet him?" Ellery Whitecastle: "Yes!" Jonathan Bridges: "And why would this make me want to meet him?"   Jonathan Bridges called Robert Carrone to make certain that the meeting would be reasonably peaceful. (If anyone attempted to kill Jonathan, the rest of the team would ensure that Robert Carrone died quickly after.)   Despite this, Robert Carrone still felt the need to be threatening during the meeting.   Robert Carrone: "You people aren't popular with MegaMedia right now. You caused a very profitable deal to fall through. Your corporate employer for the extraction has already settled their debt with us." Jonathan Bridges: (shrugging) "We warned them that they had operational security leaks." Robert Carrone: "And Mr. Whitecastle will do the same shortly." (glancing at his watch) "Pardon me. The late Mr. Whitecastle has just settled his debt with us." Jonathan Bridges: (sounding bored) "If you're just leading up to the part where you try to kill me, I can save us some time and tell my team to level this building." Robert Carrone: "WHAT ?!?" Jonathan Bridges: "I said my team would do their utmost to ensure you died shortly after any attempt on me. We're willing to cause massive collateral damage to accomplish that." Robert Carrone: (uncertainly) "It's not possible to set up a demolition that quickly." Jonathan Bridges: "There's an automated delivery van packed full of homemade C-4 at the loading dock. We buy it from the Cascade Orks by the truckload. All we had to do was load 20 crates and program the destination into the van's autopilot." (pauses, then continues in a more cheerful tone) "so, do we both play nice, or do we all go boom?" GM (ooc): Holy @#$%. If I didn't know you were bluffing, I would believe you. Audacity Jane (ooc): I packed Jack's briefcase with 5 kilos of C-4. We may not level the building, but I can wreck whatever room it's in. In addition, I also have the building entrance covered with a sniper rifle, so I can kill Carrone if he flees the explosion. To top that off, Dent took a ritual blood sample from Euphoria, so he can target her anywhere in the world. The only thing Jack is bluffing about is how we kill them.   Robert Carrone wanted to play nice. He needed the team's help finding Euphoria ... who had been abducted from her apartment again. This time far more violently. Carrone was willing to pay the team well to find her.   That blood sample Dent took from Euphoria seemed like the ideal tool for finding her....

In BigDamnHeroe's Hero Nescessary Evil campaign, one of the PCs minions (we're all villains) has become kidnapped/lost...
 
Player 2: Congratulations! You got 5 points back!

Heck, if we'd considered how useful libido could be in easily resolving missions, we might not have played all orks and trolls. (And if the tool you have is Inkubus, every problem looks like it can be nailed.)
 
In addition, you use that boat about the same way we used the Ork Underground. It's a great hideout that totally screws up most enemies.
 
 
The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.   Dent: ork, rat shaman No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems Happy Jack / Jonathan Bridges: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator Euphoria / Amanda Lockhart (NPC): an A-list simsense star Mr. Johnson (NPC): the generic name used for/by people who hire shadowrunners Ellery Whitecastle (NPC): the fixer that set the team up with Ludivenko's Mr. Johnson simsense: a virtual reality entertainment where the viewer experiences the sensations the actor/actress experiences   Euphoria, part 3 - Busted This was the same module previously described by Drhoz (here).   The team had discovered that there was something strange about Amber Gel, but they weren't sure what. It was time to use their collective talents to dig up some dirt.   The Dirt: Amber Gel was Strice Foods' hottest new product. It was about to make the leap from the test market (Seattle) to the global market. The manager in charge of Amber Gel, Vincent Burroughs, was completely incompetent. The only thing saving his career was that he was the sole point of contact between Strice and the unknown manufacturer. For some reason, Vincent Burroughs was having difficulty meeting the increased demand for production. Ludivenko was concerned about the success of Amber Gel. In response, they were about to release their own knock-off product. Amber Gel contained no artificial colors, no artificial flavors, no artificial sweeteners and no artificial preservatives. It was by far the most 'natural' product ever sold in a Stuffer Shack. It also contained a natural preservative that was vaguely related to those found in honey.   Byte Force: "Add in No-Step's vision, and I'm going to guess that Amber Gel may be made by ants." Eye Spy: "They're probably genetically modified ants." Happy Jack: "I wouldn't rule out paracritters. There are likely some undiscovered species of awakened ant. This could be connected to one of them" Dent: "I guess it's time to stock up on bug spray." Byte Force: "I'll try to find something that's nonflammable. We may want to use it a building that we want intact." Eye Spy: "If a building is full of awakened or genetically modified ants, I vote for burning it to the ground." No-Step: "I understand your enthusiasm, but if we're inside of the building, I'd prefer to have an inflammable option available." Audacity Jane, Byte Force, Dent and Happy Jack: (almost in unison) "Nonflammable." Eye Spy: "Aren't they the same thing?" Happy Jack: "And this is why I buy all of the munitions for you two."   After two days of investigation, the team was interrupted by a business-related call...   Ellery Whitecastle: (on the phone with Jonathan Bridges) "We've got a bit of a problem. MegaMedia somehow discovered that your team was behind Euphoria's disappearance." Jonathan Bridges: "They 'somehow discovered' this information? You knew my team was involved. Our client knew we were involved. That's a very short list of potential leaks." Ellery Whitecastle: "Um ... well ... On the bright side, so far, they're peaceful. They want you to meet with Robert Carrone, her manager, at the Pacific Towers lobby at eleven this morning." Jonathan Bridges: "You make it sound so enticing ... and safe." Ellery Whitecastle: "It's possible that they will excuse our involvement if you give them any information you have on our former employer." Jonathan Bridges: "Our client paid for our silence. I think you'll have to send MegaMedia my regrets." Ellery Whitecastle: (sounding stressed) "Could you at least have your team meet with Carrone? At least see what he has to say?" Jonathan Bridges: "Why? Did he threaten to kill you if I don't meet him?" Ellery Whitecastle: "Yes!" Jonathan Bridges: "And why would this make me want to meet him?"   Jonathan Bridges called Robert Carrone to make certain that the meeting would be reasonably peaceful. (If anyone attempted to kill Jonathan, the rest of the team would ensure that Robert Carrone died quickly after.)   Despite this, Robert Carrone still felt the need to be threatening during the meeting.   Robert Carrone: "You people aren't popular with MegaMedia right now. You caused a very profitable deal to fall through. Your corporate employer for the extraction has already settled their debt with us." Jonathan Bridges: (shrugging) "We warned them that they had operational security leaks." Robert Carrone: "And Mr. Whitecastle will do the same shortly." (glancing at his watch) "Pardon me. The late Mr. Whitecastle has just settled his debt with us." Jonathan Bridges: (sounding bored) "If you're just leading up to the part where you try to kill me, I can save us some time and tell my team to level this building." Robert Carrone: "WHAT ?!?" Jonathan Bridges: "I said my team would do their utmost to ensure you died shortly after any attempt on me. We're willing to cause massive collateral damage to accomplish that." Robert Carrone: (uncertainly) "It's not possible to set up a demolition that quickly." Jonathan Bridges: "There's an automated delivery van packed full of homemade C-4 at the loading dock. We buy it from the Cascade Orks by the truckload. All we had to do was load 20 crates and program the destination into the van's autopilot." (pauses, then continues in a more cheerful tone) "so, do we both play nice, or do we all go boom?" GM (ooc): Holy @#$%. If I didn't know you were bluffing, I would believe you. Audacity Jane (ooc): I packed Jack's briefcase with 5 kilos of C-4. We may not level the building, but I can wreck whatever room it's in. In addition, I also have the building entrance covered with a sniper rifle, so I can kill Carrone if he flees the explosion. To top that off, Dent took a ritual blood sample from Euphoria, so he can target her anywhere in the world. The only thing Jack is bluffing about is how we kill them.   Robert Carrone wanted to play nice. He needed the team's help finding Euphoria ... who had been abducted from her apartment again. This time far more violently. Carrone was willing to pay the team well to find her.   That blood sample Dent took from Euphoria seemed like the ideal tool for finding her....

On the difference between our runs and the rumours we've heard about a certain other team - ( Houston GM's - )
 
Felix: Our team gets by on Inkubus' libido and boats, their team gets by on subtlety and professionalism.
Inkubus: F**k you! Besides, my libido and boats has worked so far.

Felix: Why is there a hose attachment on the table?
Inkubus: Because there's a hose attachment on the table. Do you have a problem with this?
Warhammer: Do you want it somewhere else?
Greenlight: Does it offend you?
Inkubus: Are you hosist?

Back to Scotland, where we need to use that Astral Gate near Loch Ness. Just as well part of our deal with Celadyr retroactively fixed any visa problems with us mysteriously leaving Scotland and coming home via Germany. Dragons generally don't have transponders. But there's never any guarantee where an Astral Gate will take you.

Titus: The Place of Endless Groin-punches
Inkubus: The Elemental Plane of BEEEES

But who will look after our bodies while we're in the Astral Planes? We decide that that Scottish professor owes us a favour. And her students can watch over us and hopefully learn something.

Warhammer: How about your uncle Maximillian, Bubbles?
Inkubus: You need to have your brain examined. You literally just proposed leaving our unconscious bodies in the care of somebody that has climbed to high position in AZTECHNOLOGY. And corporate high position is bad enough, but Aztech?!

Felix: All part of the alien's masterplan
Inkubus: I for one welcome our new alien overlords! Because they've chosen me to be AWESOME.

Greenlight: Titus, what does your warhammer look like?
Felix: Short and Beardy.

Greenlight gets a bit unhappy when we prep our weapons for Astral use - Titus' Pimp Cane, for example.

Greenlight: It's just so boring - there's no legend to the weapons anymore. We just go out and buy a Sword +2. It's sad, really.
Titus: It's an age on consumerism. Get used to it.

Inkubus: I never want to see Weapon Focus : Caber
GM: 'Where are the Shadowrunners'
Inkubus: Ask the guy carrying the tree.

Titus: I know what to get you for Christmas now - a spellcasting focus Scrubbing Brush.
Inkubus: This is an aspect of the Way of Metal you don't see often - the clean-up afterwards. Actually, it is an aspect! The Roadie.

At least being out of town will give the renovators time to do up Inkubus and Felix' loft apartment, now luxury standard - and above luxury food.

Felix: Movie Nights are going to be AWESOME. Take-away from the best restaurants in Seattle

And of course, there's the interrogation of Doctor What. Inkubus hits him with an Orgasm, and sustains it. And sustains it.

Inkubus: Tell us why the book we stole is so important, if you ever want to enjoy the touch of a woman again. Or a man.
Felix: Or Sheep.

Apparently What was hired by Ehran the Scribe, who is pissed off that we've inconvenienced him repeatedly. We point out we have no idea who hired us to do those jobs.

Greenlight: Although if Mr Ehran wants us to run a counter-run, we are available for a reasonable fee.
Titus: We are professionals after all.
Greenlight: Now there's a change of clothes in the next room, and you can clean up.
Felix: I buy Wetwipes in Economy boxes.

This is going to be dangerous, but we can be careful.

Titus: We don't want to become cautionary tales.
Inkubus: *looks confused* Become?

On the Astral Threshold, Greenlight is greeted with an astral image of his little brother.

Lil' Bro: Thank you for rescuing me.
Lil' Clone: But why didn't you rescue me?
Lil' Clone 2: Or me?
Lil' Clone 3, 4, 5, 6 etc: Or Me?
Inkubus: 'Are you my Mummy?'

Inkubus gets ravished a metal dragon, but protests he's straight.

GM: Tough. That or challenge it to a rock battle.
Greenlight : 'Play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your soul!'
Warhammer: Summon Ozzy Osbourne!
Titus: To bite its head off!
Ozzy: Sharron, what the fuck am I doing here again?
Sharon: you're judging a rock contest Ozzy!
Ozzy: I what?
Sharon: A rock concert! You're judging it between two rock icons!
Ozzy: Oh right. Well, going by tradition, I'll have to bite one of your heads off.
Inkubus and the dragon:*wince and clutch their junk*
Ozzy: Only your top 'eads you twats!

Felix meets his grandfather, at an Aztech corporate function atop the Great Pyramid in Tenochtitlan. A function that's becoming increasingly ... traditional.

Max Bethke: I do this for you, Grandson.

And then the Aztec priest next to him guts him like a fish and cuts out his heart.

Felix: F**k!!!!

Actually, this is probably the first hint Felix has had as to just what his grandfather had to do to stop Felix being killed after whatever mysterious incident got Felix put on 'permanent administrative leave'.

Inkubus: The next time I need to summon a fire spirit, I can always summon Indestructible (from every Disturbed album cover)
Titus: I'm sure he's friendly. Look, he's smiling!

The metaplane on the other side is swarming with fairies.

Inkubus: This is not metal.

We also have a fairy guide - Felix's bound air spirit.

Greenlight: F**k off, Navi.

There's also a town, at the base of a World Tree.

Inkubus: Bet you we have to climb that.

Warhammer: Tavern!
Greenlight: Tavern!
Felix: Inkubus is the one that's supposed to be tempted by this sort of thing!
Greenlight: We're in a medieval town.
Inkubus: Tavern! But I don't carouse.

Inkubus: Did Neil the Ork Barbarian just walk past us?
Greenlight: What? Where? *runs off after him for autograph*
Inkubus: You are such a fangirl.
Greenlight: Stop raining on my parade. Do I pooh-pooh you when you seduce women?
Inkubus: Yes.
Greenlight: True, fair enough.

Warhammer's totally lack of etiquette is likely to cause us problems.

Inkubus: Maybe that's how you left the military - you kept mouthing off to officers.
Greenlight: He's really good at shooting off his gun. And his mouth

The Queen of the fairies has been kidnapped!

Greenlight: Is the Queen of Fairies actually female?
GM: Yes. In this instance.

Inkubus: We need to buy some chains and manacles. For me. I get the strange impression that banging the Queen of the Fairies is not going to end well for us.

And, as Inkubus predicted, we have to climb the tree, facing hundreds of armoured insect-soldiers-fairies.

Inkubus: I'm about to make it rain. You'll probably want to shower afterwards.
Titus: Don't worry, our bodies aren't here - it'll only get on our souls.

Put it like that, Inkubus decides NOT to cast Mass Orgasm. Felix' bound spirit changes into a army, but the battle remains fraught.

Titus: The entirety of Bavaria has a grudge against you.
Inkubus: I only set a SMALL section of the Black Forest on fire.

And Felix then comes very close to killing himself with a miscast - back in reality he's bleeding from every orifice. Titus grabs the bleeding mage as he falls, fling back up again. Meanwhile, Greenlight blows into the main group. On her turn, she hits them for massive damage. On their turn, they attack her... and get hit for massive damage.

Greenlight: Disarm by way of breaking your opponent's wrist, it's a hell of a trick.
Titus: Parry, thrust, punch, counterpunch, DICK PUNCH

Likewise, Warhammer wildly fires grenades into the main group of insect-fairy-soldiers. Once ever other turn the dice betray him.

Warhammer: Wait... everything is fantasy here isn't it? I can't have grenades.
Titus: Sure you can, they're just jars carrying the spirits of bees from the elemental plane of fire. PHOSPHORUS BEEEEES!

The battle is not going well and we're already down a Mage. After telling off the semi-conscious Bubbles, Inkubus opts to summon up a massive earth spirit (force 12). He succeeds.

Inkbus: Oh crap... I just summoned the Yggdrasil squirrel.
GM: A troll-sized squirrel crawls to you, watching the battle commence. It sneers in bloodlust... AND DRAWS A ZWEIHANDER!
Titus: He doesn't like crabs either.

Greenlight: (after a particularly bad roll) I'm running out of Edge here!
GM: (Agast) You're running out of bad guys, too!

Titus: I fly up, rising like a Valkyrie
Greenlight: Carrying a rainbow Aztec

Squirrel: If you guys don't clear out, I'll do what we squirrels do best and COLLECT YOUR NUTS
Crab: (GM rolls, rolls a 1) Hah! We don't have any nuts.
Other crab: (Turns out the 1 was for the Crab's willcheck) Actually fred, we have twelve.
GM: They friggin' scatter.
Greenlight: Ratatosk uses Intimidate! It's super effective!

Finally, the party gets through to the top of the tree. There is a massive door.

Greenlight: Titus?
Titus: (hefts hammer)
Inkbus: (knocks on the door)
GM: The door opens
Inkbus: (turns to greenlight) You taught me that.
GM: And guess who the queen is.

The queen is the same air spirit who's True Name we were here to steal. Greenlight finds the situation to be particularly amusing, and therefore acts as Inkubus' wingman - as he attempting to seduce the air spirit that was out to kill us.

(Long story short, Inkubus adds his dice together. It's going rather well... then he adds his street cred.)

Inkubus: 26 dice.
GM: Holy shit.
Whole party: Holy shit.
Inkubus: (nodding) Will of the D.

Needless to say, the queen of the fairies decides to accompany him, and later, agrees to the mutually satisfying binding ritual.

Inkubus: Well, uh, be busy.
Greenlight: Sure, and the squirrel will be watching the nuts
Inkubus: 5 hits on Erotic Arts.
GM: And they say that Yggdrasil grew three sizes that day

Inkubus: And they thank Rattatosco
Greenlight: He's in the top percentile of Rattata. He knows sword dance.

And thus, the partying commenced. After half a day, we reawaken in the real world.

Greenlight: Bwah! Giant squirrel!
Inkubus: (looks down at Bubbles) Urgh, can someone please clean up Bubbles
Greenlight: (looks at Inkubus' pants) And yourself.

This will no doubt add to our public notice - as would the way Inkubus body started enthusiastically humping thin air - but the students watching over us will hopefully only refer to us as Subjects 1, 2, etc, in their research papers.

Felix: But the dragons will take one look...
Inkubus: ... see a Metal Mage in the company of a Hermetic and a bunch of Adepts...
Felix: ...and go 'Ah, it's them'
Inkubus: 'Those arseholes'.

Greenlight: How to ID German infiltrators. Get them to sing the national anthem.
Inkubus: If they get it right, shoot them. No-one knows all the words of their own anthem.

The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.
 
Dent: ork, rat shaman
No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer
Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist
Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic
Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems
Happy Jack: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator
Euphoria / Amanda Lockhart (NPC): an A-list simsense star
simsense: a virtual reality entertainment where the viewer experiences the sensations the actor/actress experiences
 
Euphoria, part 2 - Catch and release program
This was the same module previously described by Drhoz (here).
 
Euphoria regained consciousness in one of the team's temporary safehouses in the ork underground. As the "people person" of the team, it was Happy Jack's job to explain the situation to the captive.
 
Happy Jack: "Ms. Lockhart, we have been hired to ensure that you miss your public appearances for the next few days. After that, you'll be returned to your normal life. It may be easiest if you consider this to be a relaxing, though somewhat boring vacation."
Euphoria: (looking around the apartment with wide eyes) "Is this the ork underground?"
Happy Jack: "Yes."
Euphoria: "Oh." (long pause) "I thought it would be bigger."
 
Having accomplished the abduction, Happy Jack went to the apartment (the probable trap) to collect the first half of the team's pay. Eye Spy accompanied him in order to provide overwatch with her drones. To avoid being caught in a trap, Happy Jack disguised himself as a gang member and hid two floors above the apartment.
 
Eye Spy: (over the comm to Jack) "The courier arrived. You won't believe what he looks like."
Happy Jack: "He looks completely out of place."
Eye Spy: "That's an understatement. He looks like a refugee from an 80s' spy movie. He's wearing an oversized hat, an oversized raincoat and oversized sunglasses." (choking back laughter) "Best of all, the hat and coat are BEIGE."
Happy Jack decided to monitor the situation through the wireless microcams Byte Force had planted.
Happy Jack: (over the comm to Eye Spy) "This has gotten even sillier. He's at the door of the apartment stage whispering lines to nursery rhymes like they're some kind of passcode."
Eye Spy: "So, are you going to go say 'Hi' to Mr. Secrent Agent Man?"
Happy Jack: "Nope."
Eye Spy: (suddenly serious) "He has our money."
Happy Jack: "And I'm dressed like a gang member. I'm going to mug him for our money. That way it will look like we're not connected to him."
 
The oversized hat blocked the courier's peripheral vision, allowing Happy Jack to blindside him. Happy Jack left with the team's pay, the courier's personal credstick, the courier's cellphone, and the courier's corporate ID. As Happy Jack and Eye Spy drove away....
 
Happy Jack: (looking at the courier's ID) "As we thought, he's from Ludivenko ..." (pause) "... and he's the mailboy? What kind of idiot sends the mailboy on a black op?"
Happy Jack used the courier's cellphone to call the number the Ludivenko street samurai had provided the team.
Ludivenko street sam: "Hello."
Happy Jack: "Hello. We met the other night. You have serious flaws with your operational security."
Ludivenko street sam: "What went wrong?"
Happy Jack: "Your courier showed up in the most conspicuous outfit possible. He got mugged by a huge troll. The troll got our money, the courier's credstick and the courier's ID."
Ludivenko street sam: "Did the troll get away?"
Happy Jack: "With our money? No. I chased him down." (pause) "I've made certain that the troll won't be talking to anyone about this ... ever. But your courier seems to be a serious operational liability. You might want to plug that leak."
Ludivenko street sam: "You didn't harm the courier, did you?"
Happy Jack: "No. The mugger probably did some damage." (pause) "Your employee is your problem ... unless you want to pay us to get rid of him."
 
Audacity Jane was Euphoria's primary guard. The two of them didn't exactly hit it off.
 
Euphoria: "I'm glad that I'm missing those public appearances. I really didn't want to face all those fans. It's so depressing, seeing all those pathetic fans idolizing me because they don't have lives of their own." (pause) "But I guess you wouldn't know what that's like."
Audacity Jane: "True. My fans have lives."
Euphoria: (in disbelief) "You have fans?"
Audacity Jane: "Sure. Mostly they're fixers or managers at megacorporations. Unlike your fans, mine don't pay me to make public appearances, get naked or do sex scenes. Instead, they pay me to abduct people, steal things and make problems disappear. I have a lot fewer fans than you, but on an individual basis, they pay a lot more for my services."
 
Euphoria also became curious about the farraday cage that the team had built into the walls, ceiling and floor.
 
Euphoria: "Why is there metal covering the walls?"
Dent: "That's to keep the devil rats out of the apartment."
Euphoria: "There are rats in here?!?"
Dent: "No. There are rats out there," (waving vaguely toward the walls) "and the metal makes sure they stay out there."
No-Step: (quietly to the others) "That was mean."
Byte Force: "No. That was brilliant."
No-Step: "Brilliant?"
Byte Force: "Not only did he dissuade her from messing with the farraday cage, he's also given her incentive to stay inside the apartment."
 
As the hours passed, Euphoria began to express her displeasure with the lack of luxury.
 
Euphoria: "I have nothing to wear."
Audacity Jane: "There are several bags of clothes over there. They're your size."
Euphoria: (looking through the bags) "I can't wear these. They're cheap."
Audacity Jane: "You have several choices. Option one, you can keep wearing your current outfit for the next few days. Option two, you can wear the clothes in the bags. Option three, you can prance around the apartment naked. I know which option the testosterone factories in the next room would prefer, but the decision is up to you."
Euphoria: "Fine!"
Euphoria began taking some clothes out of the bag.
Euphoria: (staring pointedly at Jane) "Can I get some privacy?"
Audacity Jane: "No."
Euphoria: "What?"
Audacity Jane: "You're a captive. Captives don't get privacy. But again, you have some options. You can change in front of me. You can change in front of one of your other guards. Or you can skip changing your clothes for the next few days."
 
Audacity Jane couldn't watch Euphoria 24/7, so Happy Jack and Eye Spy were the two alternate guards.
 
Audacity Jane: (to Eye Spy) "Why is Euphoria insisting that she wants anyone except you to guard her?"
Eye Spy: (staring at the floor) "Well, I'm not intimidating like you or Jack, so I thought she would make trouble while I was guarding her."
Audacity Jane: "And...?"
Eye Spy: "So I took one of my drones in the room with me."
Audacity Jane: "And...?"
Eye Spy: "And I set the fire control mode to 'Track Target'."
 
Euphoria also had issues with the food. Specifically, her favorite food (Amber Gel) wasn't available.
 
Eye Spy: "She's a celebrity who actually likes the product she's promoting? That seems unlikely."
Happy Jack: "Especially considering it's a food product sold at Stuffer Shack."
Eye Spy: "Maybe it's successful because they're putting addictive chemicals in it?
Happy Jack: "We may need to go buy some then."
Byte Force: "And run some chemical tests on it."
Happy Jack: "That too. More importantly, we need some around in case our captive starts exhibiting withdrawal symptoms."
 
The Amber Gel turned out to be even more suspicious. When No-Step astrally assenced it, he got a momentary impression that it was swarming with ants.
 
Byte Force: "I expect megacorps to plant bugs in their electronics and software, but this takes it to a whole new dimension."
 
The team had a high degree of professional paranoia. High enough that some "surprises" became planned-for events.
 
No-Step: "Excuse me. Could I have everyone's attention? It's urgent."
A few seconds passed as everyone woke up, tuned in and/or shut up.
No-Step: "Someone is trying to use ritual magick on Euphoria, probably to locate her."
Eye Spy: "Do we need to move to another safehouse?"
No-Step: "That may be premature."
Dent: "It should take some time for them to overcome the protection of our wards. That gives us time."
Eye Spy: "Time to pack?"
Dent: (grinning evilly) "Time for us to backtrack the casting and dish out the astral equivalent of a back-alley beatdown."
 
Less than a day later, Euphoria missed her final public appearance for Strice Foods. The team dropped her off at Megamedia's law offices (which were a safe location for a simsense star, and unlikely to be staked out by anyone looking for her abductors). As promised, the remainder of the team's money was delivered by the Ludivenko street samurai, and not by a member of their mailroom staff.
 
The mission was successfully completed, but there were still unanswered questions about Amber Gel....

The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.
 
Dent: ork, rat shaman
No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer
Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist
Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic
Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems
Happy Jack: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator
Mr. Johnson (NPC): generic name used by/for secretive employers who hire shadowrunners
Euphoria / Amanda Lockhart (NPC): an A-list simsense star
simsense: a virtual reality entertainment where the viewer experiences the sensations the actor/actress experiences
 
Euphoria, part 1 - So you want to abduct a simsense star
This was the same module previously described by Drhoz (here).
 
An ork/troll team does not have the benefit of Inkubus' libido to distract a simsense star. Fortunately, they found other options.
 
Mr. Johnson requested a meeting at night, at a little used part of the docks. Happy Jack went to the meeting wearing coveralls, a hard hat and a safety vest. He was met by a too-slick Mr. Johnson, a corporate bodyguard/driver in a cheap kevlar-lined suit, and a leather-clad street samurai.
 
Mr. Johnson: (to Happy Jack) "You're not what I was expecting."
Happy Jack: "You're hiring us, in part, for our ability to blend in. Of the four of us, I'm absolutely certain that I'm the only one who looks like I belong here."
 
Euphoria had been hired to make several appearances to promote Amber Gel for Strice Foods. Mr. Johnson wanted the team to ensure that she missed all of her scheduled appearances.
 
Mr. Johnson: "As part of the deal, no harm comes to the lady. Treat her like royalty. You get half your pay after you abduct her. You get the other half after she misses her final appearance."
Happy Jack: "Just to be clear, you are going to deliver the first half of the money before her first scheduled appearance."
Mr. Johnson: "I suppose that could be arranged."
Happy Jack: "If we don't receive the first half of the money by then, we will arrange for Euphoria to arrive at her first public appearance on time."
 
Mr. Johnson wanted the team to hold Euphoria at an apartment that he was providing.
 
Mr. Johnson: "As I said before, treat her like royalty. Here is a keycard to an apartment in the Barrens. Your first half of the pay will be delivered to you at the apartment."
Happy Jack: "What kind of intrusion countermeasures are there on the apartment?"
Mr. Johnson: "Um ... I'm not sure...."
Happy Jack: (raising an eyebrow) "What rating are the magickal wards on the apartment?"
Mr. Johnson: "I ... uh ... I don't believe there are any."
Happy Jack: "What kind of countermeasures are there to block implanted tracking devices?"
Mr. Johnson: "What? I'm not sure what you're talking about."
Happy Jack: "We'll be holding Euphoria at a location of our choosing. A secure location."
Mr. Johnson: "Okay. But your pay will be delivered to the apartment."
 
The team had been instructed to treat Euphoria "like royalty," but they weren't certain what Mr. Johnson expected. So they visited the apartment in the Barrens to see what level of luxury Mr. Johnson had been planning to provide.
 
Audacity Jane: "The security on this complex is pathetic. Aside from the card key at the apartment door, the only other security was the sleeping guard in the lobby ... and I'm not sure what's going to kill him first: heart failure or old age."
Dent opened the door to the apartment, then abruptly stopped.
Dent: "Brace yourself. I know you make fun of my housekeeping, but this place is bad by my standards."
No-Step: "I didn't think that was possible. Particularly because you don't have housekeeping standards."
No-Step entered the apartment.
No-Step: "I guess I was wrong. Compared to this, even you have standards."
Dent: (looking through the kitchen) "They supplied us with food. All of it seems to be produced by Ludivenko Foods, one of Strice Foods' competitors. Do you think our employers were incompetent enough to leave a clue to their identity, or do you think this is a clever bit of misdirection?"
Eye Spy: (looking through the closet) "They also provided some women's clothing." (looking at the tags) "And it's for an average-sized woman. Who in the hell thinks a simsense star is 'average-sized'?"
No-Step: "I think we can rule out clever misdirection."
Byte Force began hiding a couple wireless microcams at the apartment.
Dent: "Are you planning to record the mating habits of cockroaches?"
Byte Force: "No. I want to see who backtracks our employers to this trap."
 
The team had about 30 hours before Euphoria's first public appearance. As usual, the decker proved an invaluable information-gathering resource.
 
Byte Force: "Euphoria has a personal bodyguard who lives with her full-time. It looks like they recently picked up a second personal bodyguard who also stays on the premises. For the next few days she also has temporary security. Rotating shifts of Knight Errant guards, four guards per shift." (pausing dramatically) "But there's good news. The first shift of Knight Errant guards doesn't start until this evening."
Happy Jack: "So we try to get her before the shift starts. Is there anybody on staff that No-Step and I can impersonate?"
Byte Force: "The building has a rather small staff. They probably know each other well."
Audacity Jane: "We have to assume her personal guard is professional. He should know the building staff too."
Happy Jack: "Are her personal bodyguards hired through Knight Errant?"
Byte Force: "They appear to be independent."
Happy Jack: "So they probably don't know the Knight Errant guards. We capture the first shift of guards before they get to the apartment, then impersonate them."
Audacity Jane: "I like it. Guards don't expect to be targeted when they're not working."
 
Things went according to plan until the team entered the apartment. The second personal bodyguard, who turned out to be a hermetic mage, noticed that there was a lot of magick for four supposedly "mundane" bodyguards. Fortunately, Audacity Jane borrowed a rule from the Han Solo guide to tactics ... she shot first.
 
Removing Euphoria from the premises was even simpler. We put her in a padded box and sent her out with a "courier" (Eye Spy).
 
Happy Jack: (calling the building's concierge) "We have a box in the foyer of Ms. Euphoria's penthouse. A courier will be coming to pick it up shortly."
Concierge: "Where is Mr. Adams? Usually he calls this kind of request in."
Happy Jack: (rolling his eyes) "He's busy pacifying her royal highness. I hope he gets hazard pay for dealing with her."
Concierge: "He does. We don't."
 
After that, the team just killed time until the next shift arrived. They were dropped in the penthouse foyer, largely through the use of neurostun gas grenades which were hidden in the houseplants.
 
No-Step: "I'm never going to trust a ficus after this."
 
With every potential witness drugged and unconscious, the team was back at the safehouse before anyone realized Euphoria was missing.
 
Of course, then the team needed to treat Euphoria "like royalty" for three days. Some jobs are harder than others....

The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.
 
Dent: ork, rat shaman
No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer
Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist
Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic
Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems
Happy Jack: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator
Euphoria / Amanda Lockhart (NPC): an A-list simsense star
simsense: a virtual reality entertainment where the viewer experiences the sensations the actor/actress experiences
 
Euphoria, part 2 - Catch and release program
This was the same module previously described by Drhoz (here).
 
Euphoria regained consciousness in one of the team's temporary safehouses in the ork underground. As the "people person" of the team, it was Happy Jack's job to explain the situation to the captive.
 
Happy Jack: "Ms. Lockhart, we have been hired to ensure that you miss your public appearances for the next few days. After that, you'll be returned to your normal life. It may be easiest if you consider this to be a relaxing, though somewhat boring vacation."
Euphoria: (looking around the apartment with wide eyes) "Is this the ork underground?"
Happy Jack: "Yes."
Euphoria: "Oh." (long pause) "I thought it would be bigger."
 
Having accomplished the abduction, Happy Jack went to the apartment (the probable trap) to collect the first half of the team's pay. Eye Spy accompanied him in order to provide overwatch with her drones. To avoid being caught in a trap, Happy Jack disguised himself as a gang member and hid two floors above the apartment.
 
Eye Spy: (over the comm to Jack) "The courier arrived. You won't believe what he looks like."
Happy Jack: "He looks completely out of place."
Eye Spy: "That's an understatement. He looks like a refugee from an 80s' spy movie. He's wearing an oversized hat, an oversized raincoat and oversized sunglasses." (choking back laughter) "Best of all, the hat and coat are BEIGE."
Happy Jack decided to monitor the situation through the wireless microcams Byte Force had planted.
Happy Jack: (over the comm to Eye Spy) "This has gotten even sillier. He's at the door of the apartment stage whispering lines to nursery rhymes like they're some kind of passcode."
Eye Spy: "So, are you going to go say 'Hi' to Mr. Secrent Agent Man?"
Happy Jack: "Nope."
Eye Spy: (suddenly serious) "He has our money."
Happy Jack: "And I'm dressed like a gang member. I'm going to mug him for our money. That way it will look like we're not connected to him."
 
The oversized hat blocked the courier's peripheral vision, allowing Happy Jack to blindside him. Happy Jack left with the team's pay, the courier's personal credstick, the courier's cellphone, and the courier's corporate ID. As Happy Jack and Eye Spy drove away....
 
Happy Jack: (looking at the courier's ID) "As we thought, he's from Ludivenko ..." (pause) "... and he's the mailboy? What kind of idiot sends the mailboy on a black op?"
Happy Jack used the courier's cellphone to call the number the Ludivenko street samurai had provided the team.
Ludivenko street sam: "Hello."
Happy Jack: "Hello. We met the other night. You have serious flaws with your operational security."
Ludivenko street sam: "What went wrong?"
Happy Jack: "Your courier showed up in the most conspicuous outfit possible. He got mugged by a huge troll. The troll got our money, the courier's credstick and the courier's ID."
Ludivenko street sam: "Did the troll get away?"
Happy Jack: "With our money? No. I chased him down." (pause) "I've made certain that the troll won't be talking to anyone about this ... ever. But your courier seems to be a serious operational liability. You might want to plug that leak."
Ludivenko street sam: "You didn't harm the courier, did you?"
Happy Jack: "No. The mugger probably did some damage." (pause) "Your employee is your problem ... unless you want to pay us to get rid of him."
 
Audacity Jane was Euphoria's primary guard. The two of them didn't exactly hit it off.
 
Euphoria: "I'm glad that I'm missing those public appearances. I really didn't want to face all those fans. It's so depressing, seeing all those pathetic fans idolizing me because they don't have lives of their own." (pause) "But I guess you wouldn't know what that's like."
Audacity Jane: "True. My fans have lives."
Euphoria: (in disbelief) "You have fans?"
Audacity Jane: "Sure. Mostly they're fixers or managers at megacorporations. Unlike your fans, mine don't pay me to make public appearances, get naked or do sex scenes. Instead, they pay me to abduct people, steal things and make problems disappear. I have a lot fewer fans than you, but on an individual basis, they pay a lot more for my services."
 
Euphoria also became curious about the farraday cage that the team had built into the walls, ceiling and floor.
 
Euphoria: "Why is there metal covering the walls?"
Dent: "That's to keep the devil rats out of the apartment."
Euphoria: "There are rats in here?!?"
Dent: "No. There are rats out there," (waving vaguely toward the walls) "and the metal makes sure they stay out there."
No-Step: (quietly to the others) "That was mean."
Byte Force: "No. That was brilliant."
No-Step: "Brilliant?"
Byte Force: "Not only did he dissuade her from messing with the farraday cage, he's also given her incentive to stay inside the apartment."
 
As the hours passed, Euphoria began to express her displeasure with the lack of luxury.
 
Euphoria: "I have nothing to wear."
Audacity Jane: "There are several bags of clothes over there. They're your size."
Euphoria: (looking through the bags) "I can't wear these. They're cheap."
Audacity Jane: "You have several choices. Option one, you can keep wearing your current outfit for the next few days. Option two, you can wear the clothes in the bags. Option three, you can prance around the apartment naked. I know which option the testosterone factories in the next room would prefer, but the decision is up to you."
Euphoria: "Fine!"
Euphoria began taking some clothes out of the bag.
Euphoria: (staring pointedly at Jane) "Can I get some privacy?"
Audacity Jane: "No."
Euphoria: "What?"
Audacity Jane: "You're a captive. Captives don't get privacy. But again, you have some options. You can change in front of me. You can change in front of one of your other guards. Or you can skip changing your clothes for the next few days."
 
Audacity Jane couldn't watch Euphoria 24/7, so Happy Jack and Eye Spy were the two alternate guards.
 
Audacity Jane: (to Eye Spy) "Why is Euphoria insisting that she wants anyone except you to guard her?"
Eye Spy: (staring at the floor) "Well, I'm not intimidating like you or Jack, so I thought she would make trouble while I was guarding her."
Audacity Jane: "And...?"
Eye Spy: "So I took one of my drones in the room with me."
Audacity Jane: "And...?"
Eye Spy: "And I set the fire control mode to 'Track Target'."
 
Euphoria also had issues with the food. Specifically, her favorite food (Amber Gel) wasn't available.
 
Eye Spy: "She's a celebrity who actually likes the product she's promoting? That seems unlikely."
Happy Jack: "Especially considering it's a food product sold at Stuffer Shack."
Eye Spy: "Maybe it's successful because they're putting addictive chemicals in it?
Happy Jack: "We may need to go buy some then."
Byte Force: "And run some chemical tests on it."
Happy Jack: "That too. More importantly, we need some around in case our captive starts exhibiting withdrawal symptoms."
 
The Amber Gel turned out to be even more suspicious. When No-Step astrally assenced it, he got a momentary impression that it was swarming with ants.
 
Byte Force: "I expect megacorps to plant bugs in their electronics and software, but this takes it to a whole new dimension."
 
The team had a high degree of professional paranoia. High enough that some "surprises" became planned-for events.
 
No-Step: "Excuse me. Could I have everyone's attention? It's urgent."
A few seconds passed as everyone woke up, tuned in and/or shut up.
No-Step: "Someone is trying to use ritual magick on Euphoria, probably to locate her."
Eye Spy: "Do we need to move to another safehouse?"
No-Step: "That may be premature."
Dent: "It should take some time for them to overcome the protection of our wards. That gives us time."
Eye Spy: "Time to pack?"
Dent: (grinning evilly) "Time for us to backtrack the casting and dish out the astral equivalent of a back-alley beatdown."
 
Less than a day later, Euphoria missed her final public appearance for Strice Foods. The team dropped her off at Megamedia's law offices (which were a safe location for a simsense star, and unlikely to be staked out by anyone looking for her abductors). As promised, the remainder of the team's money was delivered by the Ludivenko street samurai, and not by a member of their mailroom staff.
 
The mission was successfully completed, but there were still unanswered questions about Amber Gel....

The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.
 
Dent: ork, rat shaman
No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer
Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist
Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic
Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems
Happy Jack: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator
Mr. Johnson (NPC): generic name used by/for secretive employers who hire shadowrunners
Euphoria / Amanda Lockhart (NPC): an A-list simsense star
simsense: a virtual reality entertainment where the viewer experiences the sensations the actor/actress experiences
 
Euphoria, part 1 - So you want to abduct a simsense star
This was the same module previously described by Drhoz (here).
 
An ork/troll team does not have the benefit of Inkubus' libido to distract a simsense star. Fortunately, they found other options.
 
Mr. Johnson requested a meeting at night, at a little used part of the docks. Happy Jack went to the meeting wearing coveralls, a hard hat and a safety vest. He was met by a too-slick Mr. Johnson, a corporate bodyguard/driver in a cheap kevlar-lined suit, and a leather-clad street samurai.
 
Mr. Johnson: (to Happy Jack) "You're not what I was expecting."
Happy Jack: "You're hiring us, in part, for our ability to blend in. Of the four of us, I'm absolutely certain that I'm the only one who looks like I belong here."
 
Euphoria had been hired to make several appearances to promote Amber Gel for Strice Foods. Mr. Johnson wanted the team to ensure that she missed all of her scheduled appearances.
 
Mr. Johnson: "As part of the deal, no harm comes to the lady. Treat her like royalty. You get half your pay after you abduct her. You get the other half after she misses her final appearance."
Happy Jack: "Just to be clear, you are going to deliver the first half of the money before her first scheduled appearance."
Mr. Johnson: "I suppose that could be arranged."
Happy Jack: "If we don't receive the first half of the money by then, we will arrange for Euphoria to arrive at her first public appearance on time."
 
Mr. Johnson wanted the team to hold Euphoria at an apartment that he was providing.
 
Mr. Johnson: "As I said before, treat her like royalty. Here is a keycard to an apartment in the Barrens. Your first half of the pay will be delivered to you at the apartment."
Happy Jack: "What kind of intrusion countermeasures are there on the apartment?"
Mr. Johnson: "Um ... I'm not sure...."
Happy Jack: (raising an eyebrow) "What rating are the magickal wards on the apartment?"
Mr. Johnson: "I ... uh ... I don't believe there are any."
Happy Jack: "What kind of countermeasures are there to block implanted tracking devices?"
Mr. Johnson: "What? I'm not sure what you're talking about."
Happy Jack: "We'll be holding Euphoria at a location of our choosing. A secure location."
Mr. Johnson: "Okay. But your pay will be delivered to the apartment."
 
The team had been instructed to treat Euphoria "like royalty," but they weren't certain what Mr. Johnson expected. So they visited the apartment in the Barrens to see what level of luxury Mr. Johnson had been planning to provide.
 
Audacity Jane: "The security on this complex is pathetic. Aside from the card key at the apartment door, the only other security was the sleeping guard in the lobby ... and I'm not sure what's going to kill him first: heart failure or old age."
Dent opened the door to the apartment, then abruptly stopped.
Dent: "Brace yourself. I know you make fun of my housekeeping, but this place is bad by my standards."
No-Step: "I didn't think that was possible. Particularly because you don't have housekeeping standards."
No-Step entered the apartment.
No-Step: "I guess I was wrong. Compared to this, even you have standards."
Dent: (looking through the kitchen) "They supplied us with food. All of it seems to be produced by Ludivenko Foods, one of Strice Foods' competitors. Do you think our employers were incompetent enough to leave a clue to their identity, or do you think this is a clever bit of misdirection?"
Eye Spy: (looking through the closet) "They also provided some women's clothing." (looking at the tags) "And it's for an average-sized woman. Who in the hell thinks a simsense star is 'average-sized'?"
No-Step: "I think we can rule out clever misdirection."
Byte Force began hiding a couple wireless microcams at the apartment.
Dent: "Are you planning to record the mating habits of cockroaches?"
Byte Force: "No. I want to see who backtracks our employers to this trap."
 
The team had about 30 hours before Euphoria's first public appearance. As usual, the decker proved an invaluable information-gathering resource.
 
Byte Force: "Euphoria has a personal bodyguard who lives with her full-time. It looks like they recently picked up a second personal bodyguard who also stays on the premises. For the next few days she also has temporary security. Rotating shifts of Knight Errant guards, four guards per shift." (pausing dramatically) "But there's good news. The first shift of Knight Errant guards doesn't start until this evening."
Happy Jack: "So we try to get her before the shift starts. Is there anybody on staff that No-Step and I can impersonate?"
Byte Force: "The building has a rather small staff. They probably know each other well."
Audacity Jane: "We have to assume her personal guard is professional. He should know the building staff too."
Happy Jack: "Are her personal bodyguards hired through Knight Errant?"
Byte Force: "They appear to be independent."
Happy Jack: "So they probably don't know the Knight Errant guards. We capture the first shift of guards before they get to the apartment, then impersonate them."
Audacity Jane: "I like it. Guards don't expect to be targeted when they're not working."
 
Things went according to plan until the team entered the apartment. The second personal bodyguard, who turned out to be a hermetic mage, noticed that there was a lot of magick for four supposedly "mundane" bodyguards. Fortunately, Audacity Jane borrowed a rule from the Han Solo guide to tactics ... she shot first.
 
Removing Euphoria from the premises was even simpler. We put her in a padded box and sent her out with a "courier" (Eye Spy).
 
Happy Jack: (calling the building's concierge) "We have a box in the foyer of Ms. Euphoria's penthouse. A courier will be coming to pick it up shortly."
Concierge: "Where is Mr. Adams? Usually he calls this kind of request in."
Happy Jack: (rolling his eyes) "He's busy pacifying her royal highness. I hope he gets hazard pay for dealing with her."
Concierge: "He does. We don't."
 
After that, the team just killed time until the next shift arrived. They were dropped in the penthouse foyer, largely through the use of neurostun gas grenades which were hidden in the houseplants.
 
No-Step: "I'm never going to trust a ficus after this."
 
With every potential witness drugged and unconscious, the team was back at the safehouse before anyone realized Euphoria was missing.
 
Of course, then the team needed to treat Euphoria "like royalty" for three days. Some jobs are harder than others....

Critical Failure on a Seduction check: "Mmmm baby, you taste like dried sweat and too much makeup."
 
---
 
Another campaign ->
 
 
"He's trying to bury the hatchet."
"I know. That's why my back is away from him."

Quotes from Owlcon, part 2
 
Champions 3rd Edition "School Holiday"
 
Some supervillains and mercenaries took over a local junior high school. Strike Force was called in to rescue the students and faculty.
 
GM: Theron
 
Strike Force roster
Phosphene: teleporting martial artist
Lightrune: flying brick, can manifest an energy sword
Plasma Ranger: energy projector
Shadow Walker: ninja
La Panthere: enhanced human martial artist
Sammael: shapeshifter with 4 distinct forms (monkey, hawk, gorilla, allosaurus), uses a neural whip
 
While players were picking their characters...
Player: So, Night Walker is kind of like a ninja?
GM: No. He's exactly like a ninja.
 
Plasma Ranger jammed the mercenaries' radios.
Phosphene: "They're playing your song."
 
Sammael: (switching to gorilla form) "I'm a gorilla with boobies."
Phosphene: "I need to scrub my brain with bleach."
 
Strike Force quickly dispatched the mercenaries guarding the larger group of students and teachers. A smaller group of students and teachers was being held in the basement cafeteria by the supervillains and more mercenaries.
 
Supervillain roster
Denier: demon, leader
Briareus: 4-armed brick, unintelligent construct
Flare: fire projector
Sliver: martial artist, also used flechettes
Scanner: mentalist
 
As Phosphene teleported the members of Strike Force into the cafeteria's kitchen, the supervillains began to suspect that something was going wrong.
Flare: "Sliver, Briareus: go check out the gym. There's a problem upstairs."
Lightrune: (yelling from the kitchen) "No there's not."
 
Denier: "Impudent mortals! You will pay for this!"
Plasma Ranger: "Do you take credit?"
 
Sammael, back in gorilla form, slashed Denier with her whip. Then she turned to the mercenaries and made an exceedingly lewd gesture.
Sammael: "Who else wants a piece of this?"
Phosphene: "I need to scrub my brain with bleach ... again."
 
Lightrune slammed his fist down onto Sliver, knocking her out and cratering the floor beneath her.
Phosphene: "You knocked her into the sub-basement."
Night Walker: "There is no sub-basement."
Phosphene: "There is now."
 
 
Night Walker's player had forgotten to take his ADHD meds ... and talked non-stop.
Sammael (ooc): "You're the noisiest ninja I've ever met."

The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.
 
Dent: ork, rat shaman
No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer
Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist
Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic
Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems
Happy Jack: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator
Mr. Johnson (NPC): generic name used by/for secretive employers who hire shadowrunners
Euphoria / Amanda Lockhart (NPC): an A-list simsense star
simsense: a virtual reality entertainment where the viewer experiences the sensations the actor/actress experiences
 
Euphoria, part 1 - So you want to abduct a simsense star
This was the same module previously described by Drhoz (here).
 
An ork/troll team does not have the benefit of Inkubus' libido to distract a simsense star. Fortunately, they found other options.
 
Mr. Johnson requested a meeting at night, at a little used part of the docks. Happy Jack went to the meeting wearing coveralls, a hard hat and a safety vest. He was met by a too-slick Mr. Johnson, a corporate bodyguard/driver in a cheap kevlar-lined suit, and a leather-clad street samurai.
 
Mr. Johnson: (to Happy Jack) "You're not what I was expecting."
Happy Jack: "You're hiring us, in part, for our ability to blend in. Of the four of us, I'm absolutely certain that I'm the only one who looks like I belong here."
 
Euphoria had been hired to make several appearances to promote Amber Gel for Strice Foods. Mr. Johnson wanted the team to ensure that she missed all of her scheduled appearances.
 
Mr. Johnson: "As part of the deal, no harm comes to the lady. Treat her like royalty. You get half your pay after you abduct her. You get the other half after she misses her final appearance."
Happy Jack: "Just to be clear, you are going to deliver the first half of the money before her first scheduled appearance."
Mr. Johnson: "I suppose that could be arranged."
Happy Jack: "If we don't receive the first half of the money by then, we will arrange for Euphoria to arrive at her first public appearance on time."
 
Mr. Johnson wanted the team to hold Euphoria at an apartment that he was providing.
 
Mr. Johnson: "As I said before, treat her like royalty. Here is a keycard to an apartment in the Barrens. Your first half of the pay will be delivered to you at the apartment."
Happy Jack: "What kind of intrusion countermeasures are there on the apartment?"
Mr. Johnson: "Um ... I'm not sure...."
Happy Jack: (raising an eyebrow) "What rating are the magickal wards on the apartment?"
Mr. Johnson: "I ... uh ... I don't believe there are any."
Happy Jack: "What kind of countermeasures are there to block implanted tracking devices?"
Mr. Johnson: "What? I'm not sure what you're talking about."
Happy Jack: "We'll be holding Euphoria at a location of our choosing. A secure location."
Mr. Johnson: "Okay. But your pay will be delivered to the apartment."
 
The team had been instructed to treat Euphoria "like royalty," but they weren't certain what Mr. Johnson expected. So they visited the apartment in the Barrens to see what level of luxury Mr. Johnson had been planning to provide.
 
Audacity Jane: "The security on this complex is pathetic. Aside from the card key at the apartment door, the only other security was the sleeping guard in the lobby ... and I'm not sure what's going to kill him first: heart failure or old age."
Dent opened the door to the apartment, then abruptly stopped.
Dent: "Brace yourself. I know you make fun of my housekeeping, but this place is bad by my standards."
No-Step: "I didn't think that was possible. Particularly because you don't have housekeeping standards."
No-Step entered the apartment.
No-Step: "I guess I was wrong. Compared to this, even you have standards."
Dent: (looking through the kitchen) "They supplied us with food. All of it seems to be produced by Ludivenko Foods, one of Strice Foods' competitors. Do you think our employers were incompetent enough to leave a clue to their identity, or do you think this is a clever bit of misdirection?"
Eye Spy: (looking through the closet) "They also provided some women's clothing." (looking at the tags) "And it's for an average-sized woman. Who in the hell thinks a simsense star is 'average-sized'?"
No-Step: "I think we can rule out clever misdirection."
Byte Force began hiding a couple wireless microcams at the apartment.
Dent: "Are you planning to record the mating habits of cockroaches?"
Byte Force: "No. I want to see who backtracks our employers to this trap."
 
The team had about 30 hours before Euphoria's first public appearance. As usual, the decker proved an invaluable information-gathering resource.
 
Byte Force: "Euphoria has a personal bodyguard who lives with her full-time. It looks like they recently picked up a second personal bodyguard who also stays on the premises. For the next few days she also has temporary security. Rotating shifts of Knight Errant guards, four guards per shift." (pausing dramatically) "But there's good news. The first shift of Knight Errant guards doesn't start until this evening."
Happy Jack: "So we try to get her before the shift starts. Is there anybody on staff that No-Step and I can impersonate?"
Byte Force: "The building has a rather small staff. They probably know each other well."
Audacity Jane: "We have to assume her personal guard is professional. He should know the building staff too."
Happy Jack: "Are her personal bodyguards hired through Knight Errant?"
Byte Force: "They appear to be independent."
Happy Jack: "So they probably don't know the Knight Errant guards. We capture the first shift of guards before they get to the apartment, then impersonate them."
Audacity Jane: "I like it. Guards don't expect to be targeted when they're not working."
 
Things went according to plan until the team entered the apartment. The second personal bodyguard, who turned out to be a hermetic mage, noticed that there was a lot of magick for four supposedly "mundane" bodyguards. Fortunately, Audacity Jane borrowed a rule from the Han Solo guide to tactics ... she shot first.
 
Removing Euphoria from the premises was even simpler. We put her in a padded box and sent her out with a "courier" (Eye Spy).
 
Happy Jack: (calling the building's concierge) "We have a box in the foyer of Ms. Euphoria's penthouse. A courier will be coming to pick it up shortly."
Concierge: "Where is Mr. Adams? Usually he calls this kind of request in."
Happy Jack: (rolling his eyes) "He's busy pacifying her royal highness. I hope he gets hazard pay for dealing with her."
Concierge: "He does. We don't."
 
After that, the team just killed time until the next shift arrived. They were dropped in the penthouse foyer, largely through the use of neurostun gas grenades which were hidden in the houseplants.
 
No-Step: "I'm never going to trust a ficus after this."
 
With every potential witness drugged and unconscious, the team was back at the safehouse before anyone realized Euphoria was missing.
 
Of course, then the team needed to treat Euphoria "like royalty" for three days. Some jobs are harder than others....

Inkubus: I knew a Runner that managed to black out the entire Seattle Metroplex because he went "Oooh, buttons!"
Titus: Never press buttons - never press any buttons! It never ends well

Having somehow, in a feat of inductive reasoning that would make Sherlock Holmes say "Oh come on, now you're just taking the piss", that after Renraku kidnapped Greenlight's brother they've been growing clones of him complete with biochip memories, we consider our next move. Rushing into it will be a very bad idea - Renraku is a ruthless corporation, and it's unlikely that they appreciated us dumping their surviving samurai at a capsule hotel with nothing to wear but "I Love Orcs" t-shirts. But we do get to wait like hungry vultures as Titus calculates how much we can get from selling off their gear and cyberwear (selling off their armour and helicopter will have to wait until we can arrange an auction).

Inkubus got banned from choosing the movies for Movie Night.

Inkubus: 'Barbarella' was my high-class choice. After that it was 'Valley of the B-Girls'.

Inkubus: Did you hear? They've redone The Gigolo - as a Sim-sense.

Our latest client is offering a paltry amount to extract somebody. But we can at least listen before turning him down.

Felix: We can amuse ourselves by doing impersonations of him later.

Mr. Johnson: This will be an easy one for you.
Greenlight: ...uh-huh.
Felix: The moment he said 'This an easy one' I doubled how much we're charging him.
Inkubus: Doubled? I tripled.

He offers us 5000 nuyen each.

Inkubus: Why did you wake me up? That won't even by a bottle of my favourite drink!

Titus: It might another case of 'we can do this this afternoon and then go back to the pub'

Inkubus: I spend a lot of money on Cheerios.
GM: Nobody ever calls then the right name - Nurps.
Inkubus: I meant the cheerleading squad - the Seattle Cheerios XD

Inkubus: Never, never EVER let a troll go Cowgirl.
Warhammer: ?
Inkubus: I don't want to talk about it.
Greenlight: You were very brave.
Inkubus: I had to try it at least once.

As it happens the woman - one Shirley Marquee - that we're supposed to extract works for a Nurps factory. We're supposed to approach her in a plaza park, and give the code-phrase 'We're from the Easter Bunny', then hustle her off to the van.

Inkubus: I'm sorry but I can't make the approach. I'm court-ordered from saying things like that.
Felix: Is it a white van with 'Free Candy' written on the side?
Warhammer: Can I wear a bunny suit?

Greenlight drives the white van provided (the rest of us are too paranoid and follow in the Mystery Mobile) and cross the park to meet her on a bridge. But it turns out Shirley Marquee is drugged to the eyeballs. To quote a famous military figure "It's a trap!" It turns out every civilian in the park is a heavily armed plainclothes operative. And two more squads boil out from kiosks and copses and run forward laying down a hailstorm of angry lead.

Felix: This is why we should have launched the surveillance drone!
Titus: Who have we pissed off enough to arrange this?
Inkubus: Renraku, Aztechnology, Alamos 20K, the great dragon Lofwyr...

On the other hand we're so paranoid we were already in the best positions to react to this kind of thing, almost before it happens. And it's always possible the attackers don't actually know exactly who we are, and we are still obliged to TRY and get Shirley out of here.

Inkubus: We still a job to do. Maybe their security just got lucky and intercepted her plans to escape.

But if they ARE prepared to blow up the white van, it's just as well we turned up with the Mystery Machine, and can lay down our own suppressing fire from an unexpected direction. And, of course, one of Inkubus' Maximised Orgy spells can make for a really memorable afternoon. Titus strolls up behind two of the supposed chessplayers who are now drawing SMGs to fire at Greenlight as she leaps off the bridge into the creek.

Greenlight OoC: 'King me!'
Felix: 'Now kiss!' *miming slamming their heads together*
Inkubus: We see your ambush, and raise you another ambush! And our ambushes are better because we never plan them!

Inkubus: Yeah, no. No, yeah. No. Yeah.
Felix: 'Yeah, no. No, yeah. No. Yeah?'
All: Yeah.

In fact, our pre-emptive counter-attack demoralises them so completely they retreat, and we can complete our extraction before the cops turn up to investigate all this gunfire in downtown Seattle.

Greenlight: Hello drugged lady, lets get you out of hear.

Titus: The best escort missions are when you can taze the client and say 'Good. Now get in the bag.'

We make our way to the drop-off, our Watcher spirits reporting nothing amiss.That goes without incident, and we return to the bar for payment. Warhammer goes around the back way, in case THIS is a trap.

Greenlight: No-one will care that you stink of booze if you jump over the bar.

But apparently the Johnson genuinely had no idea the ambush was going to happen. And as the bagman in this deal, he can't tell us who DID know about it.

Mr. Johnson: Sorry about that.
Felix: At least some of the security team enjoyed themselves.
Inkubus: I do try to spread a little joy in the world.

Of course at this point the GM headdesks, because by leaving the white van, and succeeding in the extraction, means we miss two important plot hooks. Inkubus books an evening at Cobalt Marie for himself and Miss Winter, the client from the Dreamchipper case. Of course he has to do it under his own name (and there wont be a table free for weeks, anyway).

Inkubus: Felix knows my real name - I had to put it on the lease - but I've told him if he ever tells anybody I'll hit him an Orgasm spell and mainline caffeine to keep it running all night.

Inkubus wants to learn the spell Shockwave, so he can make people loose control of their bodily functions.

Felix: Brown Note
Greenlight: What was it Soundwave said? 'Large Butts preferred. Lying Impossible.'

But his date won't be for weeks, so he spends the night at the Convenience Store, a nightclub. The bouncer is dressed as a greeter.

Bouncer: Welcome to the Convenience Store. We love you. Welcome to the Convenience Store. We love you. No Shirt? No shoes? No problem.

Inkubus is promptly seduced by a statuesque brunette by the name of Ariel.

Greenlight: The next time somebody is described as statuesque they'd better be be a statue!
Felix: And have no arms.

Greenlight: When you say she's coming on hard...
Inkubus: She's a squirter, apparently.
Warhammer: Clean-up to Aisle Four.

And, of course, she's a trap too. Inkubus wakes up naked, hungover, and drugged in a concrete cell. And the drug he's been given makes it impossible to cast magic and get himself out, even though he knows the spell Detox. And it might be a week before the others even start wondering where he got to.

Inkubus: They really kidnapped the wrong one.
Kidnapper: Why haven't your friends come looking for you yet?
Inkubus: Have you got more of that hallucinogen? It's trippy.
Greenlight OoC: He's tied up and being stuffed to the gills on drugs.
Inkubus OoC: Sounds like my version of a day spa.

His kidnappers unlock the door and cover him with assorted firearms, ordering him to not try anything. He declines to oblige, and manages to cast Hot Potato. All the metal they're holding suddenly feels red hot.

Felix OoC: And do any of them have Prince Alberts?
Greenlight OoC: Everywhere he goes people just tear their clothes off in front of him.

But they still manage to fire some warning shots.

Kidnapper: He can still cast - give him another dose!
Inkubus: Please! This stuff would go gangbusters on the club scene.

The kidnappers threaten to shoot him. Inkubus points out that if they wanted him dead he already would be.

Inkubus: I DO do this for a living, you know.

So they pistol-whip him unconscious instead, and he comes around in the lab of one Doctor What.

Dr What: And how are you today?
Inkubus: A little out of it. And your guards have no sense of humour.

What hooks him up with electrodes.Inkubus tries to pretend he's enjoying it.

Inkubus: I've done this! It's fun!

Inkubus: Please! I've been to BDSM parties more extreme than this.

He's got an ulterior motive. Endophins bond really well to toxins (or rather, block them) so the more pain, the less the hallucinogen is affecting him.

Inkubus: And then I can get a message to Felix - HEEEEEEEEELLLLLPPPPPP.

Felix: Where IS Inkubus? I'd have expected at least an SMS by now. It's Movie Night!
Greenlight: That SOB better be watching Sailor Moon with us.

What starts asking pertaining to that manuscript we stole last year.

Inkubus: Torture is a really stupid way to extract information. And I don't talk to stupid people. Now give me more volts - I wanna see if I can paint the ceiling this time.

He manages to get a Watcher Spirit out to Felix.

Spirit: Message Begins: I'm being tortured and interrogated by an idiot! HELLLLPPP! Message Ends.

Inkubus is being held in a cliff-top bungalow that used to a UCAS listening station.

Inkubus OoC: For some reason they thought Canada was a threat. Go figure.

Happily, Warhammer's government and military contacts have all the details of its construction. And it being cliff-top, it's good excuse to use the boat again. Greenlight swims ashore under cover of darkness and gets to work. Hopefully our lack of an Air Spirit for concealment won't cause us any problems.

Greenlight: I'm going to find Dr What then I'm sticking this shock-baton up his arse.
Felix: What DOES seem quite fond of electric shocks.
Inkubus OoC: I've got plans for What - Orgasm : Permanent.

At least the guards around the building are hilariously ill-prepared for Greenlight's ruthenium fibre cloak and Mad Ninja Skillz.

Inkubus: Oh god. These guys are bargain bin. Low-end mercs out of the African Wars.
Felix: The kind of person who watched too much Mad Max as a child and read Soldier of Fortune.
Inkubus: No, that assumes they had access to television and know how to read.

Greenlight's shock-batons ensure they do the Dance of the Electric Cockroach, and calls in the rest of the team. Our boat roars towards the shore.

Labrat: I don't need to go swimming, I had a bath last week.
Inkubus: This is why I don't go pub-crawling with him more often. I had a girl for breakfast, a girl for lunch, a girl for dinner. So why does he hang out with me? Leftovers.

We storm the building - now we're in the building gunfire won't attract so much attention from the police - which would have arrived promptly given the average income in this part of town. Titus kicks his way into Inkubus' cell. Greenlight corners Dr What, holds out the end of his shock-baton, and uses Commanding Voice.

Greenlight: Here, hold this.
Dr What: *confused, does so, and dances the Dance of the Electric Cockroach*
Greenlight: Thanks

Inkubus is chained to his chair, covered in his own fluids.

Titus: Bubbles, you know Sterilise right? *sigh* well, at least I can get my armour professionally cleaned.

Inkubus grins horribly at our captive torturer.

Inkubus: You and I are going to have a lot of fun together!

Warhammer uses White Phosphorus grenades on the surviving mercs.

Inkubus: And they call ME evil.
Felix: It sends a message to the next group that kidnaps one of us.
Inkubus: Mess with us and we will BURN YOUR SHIT TO THE GROUND.
Greenlight: I like this message.

To our very great relief, the inferno does NOT set the building's armoury on fire. Not least because Inkubus's stuff is in the armoury.

Inkubus: You're carrying hand-held WP grenades AND launched? Do me a favour - next time there's a fire fight, make sure you're on the next continent.

Inkubus OoC: There's the Holy Trinity weapon used by the Sisters of Battle. Combi bolter-melta.
Felix OoC: With strap-on one-shot Flamer.
Warhammer OoC: Unless it explodes on you.
Felix OoC: That's Plasma weapons.
Warhammer OoC: Oh right - meltas are the safe ones.
All: For a certain value of 'safe'

Felix OoC: And the GM wanders off to try and salvage the adventure again.
Warhammer OoC: He does that a lot.

We loot the armoury and depart (weighed down under the sheer weight of stuff and duffle-bags of more stuff). Only to find Inkubus' seducer waiting on the prow of our boat. And she's a fearsomely powerful Free Air Spirit. But Warhammer has a fearsomely powerful gun and the battle appears to over in less than a second, and one shot.

GM: Deskflip.
Warhammer: Actually her vanishing like that scares me more than a drawn out fight.

He's right to be concerned. There is nothing to stop such a powerful spirit returning from the elemental planes seeking revenge.

Inkubus: There's only one way to deal with this.
Greenlight: Toga Party.

We're going to have to go into the Elemental Plane of Air to find her True Name, then summon her, and bind her, to stop her coming after us. And if Inkubus uses the Life Pact, he can swear to never command her, and she can never be Bound by anybody else, and he'll never age. Everybody wins! Assuming we survive the Plane of Air and can actually bind her.

Warhammer OoC: This was a good game - it had everything in it.
Felix: Something for all of us to do, a set-up for next session...
Warhammer: And we screwed over the GM repeatedly.

GM: Everyone gets a 'Derail the Adventure' Karma point.
 

Having played the same modules, I think our team was more successful at running some of those modules off the rails.
 
Drhoz previously described your version of DNA/DOA (linked here), which we also ran ... or started to.
 
The module derailed as follows ...
 
The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.   Dent: ork, rat shaman No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems Happy Jack: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator Mr. Johnson: generic name used by/for secretive employers who hire shadowrunners Alamos 20,000: a murderous, anti-metahuman organization   The team met at No-Step's safehouse one morning in response to a frantic text.   Happy Jack: (arriving with the rest) "What's up No-Step?" No-Step: (obviously stressed) "Nothing." (he holds up a note for them to read) No-Step's note: "I'm being blackmailed! Alamos 20K has my mother! They're making me carry a bug/tracker!"   The bug/tracker was quickly resolved ... since standard operating procedure was to turn every safehouse into a farraday cage.   According to No-Step's blackmailers, the team was going to be offered a job that evening. After completing the job, No-Step was supposed to turn the data over to the hostage-takers, rather than Mr. Johnson. To make matters worse, the captors apparently intended to use the data to create an anti-metahuman bioweapon.   Dent: (to No-Step) "What's the big deal. You know what your mother looks like, right?" No-Step: "What kind of stupid question is that?" Eye Spy: (muttering to herself) "Sheesh. Not all of us do." Dent: "I didn't mean that literally. You've assenced her. Seen her aura." No-Step: "Yes...." Dent: "Piece of cake. I'll show you how to find her."   Dent, a rules-lawyer at heart, gave a step-by-step primer on how to track her using watcher spirits and overcome every conceivable obstacle ... while the GM planted his head on the table.   By early afternoon the team had rescued No-Step's mother and taken a dozen Alamos 20,000 members captive.   Dent (ooc): Why did you abduct No-Step's mother? This would have been more challenging if you'd done it to one of the unawakened. GM: He was the only one I was sure would care about his immediate family. Byte Force: "Everybody keeps telling me that I have to have a family somewhere. Given the state of modern reproductive science and cloning technology, I just think those people are old-fashioned luddites." Happy Jack: "My parents threw me out of the apartment when I was 14. I wouldn't have minded so much, except we lived on the third floor." Audacity Jane: "My older brother and I fought when we were kids. He didn't survive."     The hostage-takers were correct about one thing. That evening the team was offered a job. Mr. Johnson's assistant drove Happy Jack (disguised as his alter-ego, Jonathan Bridges) to the meeting.   Mr. Johnson: "Anything I tell you has to be kept absolutely secret by you and your team. If any word of this datasteal gets loose, I will know who is to blame." Jonathan Bridges: "Your name is Mr. Walker, isn't it?" Mr. Walker/Mr. Johnson: (looking stunned) "..." Jonathan Bridges: "You're about to offer us a job to steal genetic research from one of the big eight megacorps?" Mr. Walker: "What? How...?" Jonathan Bridges: "I'm afraid word of this run has already gotten loose, and I'm absolutely certain my team wasn't to blame." Mr. Walker: "..." Jonathan Bridges: "Besides you, who else knew the details of this run?" Mr. Walker turns and looks at his assistant, who bolts from the room. Jonathan Bridges: (over his comlink) "The pigeon is flying. It's my chauffeur for the evening."   Mr. Walker raced after the assistant, followed by Jonathan Bridges / Happy Jack. The assistant managed to escape in the elevator ahead of them.   Jonathan Bridges: "For 50,000 nuyen my team will scoop him up as soon as he hits the street." Mr. Walker: (sputtering) "That ... that ... that's an outrageous price!" Jonathan Bridges: (shrugging) "Secrets are expensive. And right now, you don't know how many of yours he compromised." Mr. Walker: "..." Jonathan Bridges: "If you have a second team sitting outside the building, feel free to call them for a competing quote. Otherwise, your window of opportunity is going to last as long as an express elevator ride."   After the assistant was captured, Mr. Walker still tried to hire the team for the shadowrun. He refused, however, to pay the asking price of 1 million nuyen, half up front. The team figured it was a fair price, since word had already leaked that Aztechnology was the target ... and that our team was being approached for the run.   Presumably Mr. Walker hired another team of suck... I mean shadowrunners ... to complete the job.   No-Step: "What are we going to do to the thugs who were holding my mother?" Eye Spy: "Sell them to the ghouls. Everybody needs to eat." Audacity Jane: "Sell them to the organ-leggers. They pay better." Eye Spy: "And they sell the scraps to the ghouls." Happy Jack: "Some of them may have family members who are willing to pay to have them returned alive." Byte Force: "That's risky. Lone Star may try to set a trap for you." Happy Jack: "They'll be setting a trap for the kidnappers. I'll be offering my services to the families as a professional ransom negotiator." Byte Force: "They pay you to negotiate a ransom with us? Twisted." No-Step: "I hate to interrupt your greed, but I'm not agreeing to let those monsters walk away scott free." Dent: "No problem. I'll rip a bunch of incriminating evidence from their minds. Turn it over to Lone Star anonymously, and they'll never go free." No-Step: "what if Lone Star ignores it?" Byte Force: "I can also send a copy to their Alamos 20K buddies. They'll kill them just to keep them from talking to Lone Star."

Hired to help a small dragon find his memory and some revenge, the team have already solved 3/4 of the mystery without leaving the hospital room. Psychometry and Mindprobe are wonderful things. Of course Inkubus is going to have to swear a geas not to reveal all the other secrets he pulled out of the dragon's head, but that should probably wait until the room ISN'T full of doctors and Tri-D technicians. Either way, that bracelet he's paying us with is a clue. Is it the same one Inkubus saw on Tri-D star Maria Mercurial?

Titus: Well, there's an easy way to check
Inkubus: ... well, I got to hand it to the troll.

As mentioned earlier, Psychometry is a wonderful thing.

GM: I'm trying to get you to go to a jeweller's shop!

GM: I'm never letting a character have Psychometry again
Greenlight OoC: I can't believe you gave it to him in the first place.
Titus OoC: 'It seemed inoffensive at the time'
All: LOL

The first of the evening's distractions.

http://31.media.tumblr.com/7343a30bad4a86fc7610efa7814282c7/tumblr_nf6he4PyZY1qeze3ho1_500.jpg

Felix: One of the more unusual products to come out of the Dungeons and Dragons stable.
GM: Wait, what? That's a licensed product?
Felix: .... Nooooo. D&D. The cartoon. Uni?
GM: .... EWWWW!!!
Felix: Took you long enough.
Inkubus: Prince Blueblood has to make money somehow.
Felix: Well, bull semen is the most expensive product, by weight, in the world.
Greenlight: The More You Know! The Less You Want To.

It's actually a Hungarian herbal liqueur.

Greenlight: How about we go to the jeweller? I don't want a repeat of last time, where I saw a hovering Elf's junk.
Inkubus: As long as we admit it's always a possibility.

It's a very upmarket jeweller's store, in a very upmarket mall.

Warhammer: I give preciselyyyyyy.... two rat's arses.

The jeweller at King Solomon's Mine identifies the bracelet as a replica he made for a particular client - not Mercurial. He heads out the back of his shop to check the records. Inkubus advises Felix to NOT astrally case the joint - they can probably afford mystic security. This isn't the kind of place the rest of the team usually hang out after all.

Inkubus: It's not like we're where these guys live.
Warhammer: I'm surprised that hasn't come up yet.
Greenlight: We've been stopped every five feet since we came in.

Despite that, a quartet of ragged street scum are wandering nonchalantly up to the shop. They are BLATANTLY casing the joint.

Felix: Obviously the security were too busy following us around to notice these guys come in.

Toughs: Freeze! This is a robbery!
Warhammer: *starts laughing his arse off*
Inkubus: *turns with enormous shit-eating grin*
Felix: *looking around.* Wait, who's doing the robbery?
Toughs: ... This is not going to plan
Felix: *glares suspiciously at the dwarf* Warhammer... we did NOT discuss this...

Warhammer punches one of them in the balls.

Warhammer: I don't know why I shoot people, I really don't.

Inkubus' spell fizzles.

Inkubus: ... I suspect there are Bavarians nearby.

So does Felix's.

Felix: The hell? *stares at finger and ceiling* What sort of magical defenses do they have in here?

Titus: I think it would be a good idea if you just left.

With dawning horror the attempted robbers recognise who they tried to hold up, and get down on their knees, hands behind their heads, and wait for the police.

Greenlight: Good plan.

Inkubus: They've got promise
Felix: Look on the bright side - a few months in stir and they'll pick up all sorts of useful tricks.

Assuming the police don't just sell them for medical experimentation, anyway. Apparently the replica was made for one Justine Greer, the CEO of EmergingFutures, a freelance research think tank in the Barrens. Two months ago a mystery man bought them out in a hostile takeover, and they're currently involved in a corporate brawl with RenrakuCorp.

Felix: Well, we know who's going to win that one.

Inkubus calls his fixer, to arrange phone numbers in the hope this Miss Greer responds to our inquiries.

Inkubus: Somebody is going to be calling you about a ring.
Fixer: Did you propose marriage to someone again?
Inkubus: I've never been that drunk! I can't even say the world!

Greenlight's drama senses are tingling - she has a deep hate for Renraku, after they kidnapped her family. She wonders if this mystery buyer is the same Soft-eyed Man behind the kidnap.

Titus: I'm confused - how did you make the leap to him being a Renraku man?
Felix: Paranoia.
Greenlight: I'm sorry, someone mentioned the R-word and my mental gears went CRUNCH.

Felix: Are there any stormwater canals running through the Barrens?
GM: Sure.
Titus: Great, we can use a boat.
Felix: And if can find some way to add Inkubus' dick to the equation, we can't fail!
Titus: Just stick him on the front as a figurehead.

Inkubus: Coke dissolves concrete. There's a divot down on the wharfs where they spilled the concentrate - they washed it off in minutes and it STILL etched a mark.
Titus: And it still glows faintly on moonless nights.

It would have been a good idea to track down Greer and her company sooner. Now there's a collapsed warehouse and a column of smoke where their labs used to be.

Titus: This is what happens when you piss off a Triple-A company.
Inkubus: Now why don't we get jobs like THAT?
Titus: Well there was that one time, but we were supposed to be rescuing somebody.
Inkubus: Yeah, don't mention that one around Felix, he glares at me whenever I bring it up.

After the requisite rubber-necking from the Mystery Machine, we move on - for one thing the circling drones overhead are highly suspicious. But at least we get a call. Whoever is on the other end - we're experienced enough to not to assume it's actually Greer - wants to meet us at the Emerging Futures corporate offices the next day. They've had problems - half the windows have been shattered. But at least nobody shoots us as we go in. And their security is quite good - it detects nearly all of the weapons we're covering. Felix occupies one of the plush seats like he was born to it.

Inkubus: You were.

Greer would quite like the item back. We, of course, want to know how it ended up in our client's possession. And if it at point it was stolen, we don't want to be charged with handling stolen property. Inkubus mentions our client's name, and Greer completely fails to hide her shock behind a stoic facade.

Greer: I hope you understand that individual is a major asset of our company.
Inkubus: Yes, he's quite large.

Greer has the conference room sealed. A good sign, since she locked herself in here with us. Greenlight is getting more and more jumpy as the circuitous conversation continues. The Renraku connection is preying on her mind. And caging somebody for medical experimentation - even if it was a dragon - is striking too close to home. Inkubus quietly hits her with a mood-calming spell, which effects Warhammer even more severely.

Felix: Somebody dropped a Zenade. AUUUUMMMMM.

At least the dragon was willing participant in the research, despite his episode. It seems likely we can sort all this out with a few non-disclosure agreements.

Inkubus: I don't think I've ever been in this situation before - working for two clients who DON'T want to actively screw each other.

But the drones aren't hers. It's now obvious that Renraku is funding the attacks, and waiting to see what the company considers a high-priority asset. Greenlight's artificial peace evaporates immediately.

Felix: It's how I'd do it.

Greer offers a contract - recover the lab's data before Renraku can.

Inkubus: How did Eliohahn end up with your bracelet anyway?
Greer: During the attack we -
Inkubus: *raises eyebrow* Do tell.
Greer: Nothing like that!
Titus OoC: And that's where Drakes came from.

But what of two other details Inkubus pulled from Eliohahn's scrambled memory? The name Cobalt Marie, and an Orc with a coin earring? Inkubus recognises the name, at least. It's a club. Of COURSE it's a club. And a very exclusive one, for high-level corporate types.

Inkubus: Forget I mentioned it.
Titus: The Power of RETCON!
Inkubus: THAT'S the superpower I want.
Titus: Ultimate level in the martial art of Deja Fu. But it's no good against against another practitioner - it just degenerates into a temporal slapfight until everybody goes home embarrassed.

True, Renraku security are fearsome. Lets hope we don't run into any, regardless of how much Greenlight wants to. The objectives : Examine the lab site. Recover the data, unless it's already been copied in which case track down those responsible and recover it from THEM. Wipe any data pertaining to Project Cerberus.

Inkubus: Do we have permission to eliminate those drones? They are flying over your corporate territory.
Greer: Yes.
Warhammer: *smiles*
Inkubus: Are you happy now?
Titus: It'll even be legal. Mostly.

We leave, showing Security all the weapons they missed on our way in. Inkubus demonstrates proper security wand technique.

Inkubus: One of the perks of doing security. You get to poke people with a stick.

There's already a Renraku chopper parked at the ruined lab. Grinning evilly, Felix Stunbolts the pilot, Warhammer shoots down the Renraku drones, and Inkubus slaps an Force Dome over it.

Pilot: What the hell? One of the drones just wen-THUD

Inkubus Buffs Felix, Felix calls down an Air Elemental to conceal us, and we head in to have fun with ninjas.

Greenlight: Samurai. They'll kill you if you call them ninjas.
Warhammer: They'll try to kill us anyway.
Greenlight: They'll TRY.

Titus disables the elevators by ripping off a door and jamming it underneath the car. Still less noisy than using grenades. Then we head down the stairs - Eliohahn's exit hole is a bit alarming.

(At this point the game pauses because the police show up, looking for a previous tenant. I'd wondered if the neighbours had overheard us plotting murder and burglary - this IS Shadowrun, after all. But I resisted the temptation to yell "Quick, hide the hookers and blow" and dive over the fence)

GM: Tooonny! The Lone Star are here. IRL!
Tony: What?!
Titus' player: As valid reasons to pause the game go, it's a good one.

We sneak invisible and inaudible into the computer room, and prepare to make the red-clad Renraku samurai very unhappy campers.

Felix: I can't Stunball them all if you go up and tase them.
Greenlight: In any other situation that is a valid tactical observation - but this is is Renraku and F**K Renraku!

We stroll up to point-blank range, Titus taking practise swings with his sledgehammer, Warhammer with shotgun aimed at crotch, Greenlight preparing to tase someone in the face, and Felix preparing to fire a Stunbolt into somebody's occipital lobe.

Felix: On the count of three.
.
The resulting carnage is a bit alarming.

GM: Whatever happened to 'We only use gel rounds?'
Felix: Hey, I'M using Stun.

Inkubus is already clearing a flightpath for the helicopter when we steal it. Greenlight browses through the data and spots a few familiar names in old biotech data. Such as his brothers. And that of the Soft-eyed Man. And the phrase 'universal donor'.

Inkubus: Oh no. Your has Type O System. He's *valuable*.
Greenlight: *growls* What's Project Cerberus?
Felix: Do we have time for this?
Greenlight: SHUT. UP.

Actually, Cerberus seems to have nothing to do with his brother - it's all about cybertech for animals, and nothing to do with whatever research EmergingFutures were doing on Renraku's behalf. We head out carrying the pile of unconscious and dead samurai, sending the Renraku chopper off on autopilot invisible under the air elemental to Warhammer's merc base, and leave in the Mystery Machine. We dump the living samurai operatives at a coffin hotel after stealing all their stuff, and go home. A good night's work. Our GM is perturbed that we managed to steal the chopper.

Inkubus OoC: Useful tip for GMs - If you don't want the PCs to have something, don't give it to their enemies.

And, of course, Greenlight has more clues to whatever happened to his brother, and the possible whereabouts of his family.

Greenlight: I'm not going to kill EVERYBODY. Just whoever is responsible.
Inkubus: I know. I know you pretty well be now. Sorry about the calming spell on the office.
Greenlight: ....
Inkubus: Remind me to get an insulated cup.

We get paid six times for this job - the dragon, Miss Greer, selling the chopper, selling the samurai's gear, selling the dead samurai to the organleggers, and a special auction to sell the Renraku samurai armour to anybody who really want to piss off the corporation with a rare collectible. The data Greenlight stole refers to multiple Jacks. Jack One, Jack Two, Jack Three...

Felix: Maybe they're all stem cell lines.
Inkubus: ...He was younger than he should be...
Greenlight: ....They cloned him.
Inkubus: ... But he had Jack's memories? F**k. Personality chips.
Greenlight: I'm going to kill them all.
GM: I was going to give you all the hints over the next three sessions!
Felix OoC: You solved it in 30 seconds!
Inkubus OoC: Sorry.

Having played the same modules, I think our team was more successful at running some of those modules off the rails.
 
Drhoz previously described your version of DNA/DOA (linked here), which we also ran ... or started to.
 
The module derailed as follows ...
 
The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.   Dent: ork, rat shaman No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems Happy Jack: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator Mr. Johnson: generic name used by/for secretive employers who hire shadowrunners Alamos 20,000: a murderous, anti-metahuman organization   The team met at No-Step's safehouse one morning in response to a frantic text.   Happy Jack: (arriving with the rest) "What's up No-Step?" No-Step: (obviously stressed) "Nothing." (he holds up a note for them to read) No-Step's note: "I'm being blackmailed! Alamos 20K has my mother! They're making me carry a bug/tracker!"   The bug/tracker was quickly resolved ... since standard operating procedure was to turn every safehouse into a farraday cage.   According to No-Step's blackmailers, the team was going to be offered a job that evening. After completing the job, No-Step was supposed to turn the data over to the hostage-takers, rather than Mr. Johnson. To make matters worse, the captors apparently intended to use the data to create an anti-metahuman bioweapon.   Dent: (to No-Step) "What's the big deal. You know what your mother looks like, right?" No-Step: "What kind of stupid question is that?" Eye Spy: (muttering to herself) "Sheesh. Not all of us do." Dent: "I didn't mean that literally. You've assenced her. Seen her aura." No-Step: "Yes...." Dent: "Piece of cake. I'll show you how to find her."   Dent, a rules-lawyer at heart, gave a step-by-step primer on how to track her using watcher spirits and overcome every conceivable obstacle ... while the GM planted his head on the table.   By early afternoon the team had rescued No-Step's mother and taken a dozen Alamos 20,000 members captive.   Dent (ooc): Why did you abduct No-Step's mother? This would have been more challenging if you'd done it to one of the unawakened. GM: He was the only one I was sure would care about his immediate family. Byte Force: "Everybody keeps telling me that I have to have a family somewhere. Given the state of modern reproductive science and cloning technology, I just think those people are old-fashioned luddites." Happy Jack: "My parents threw me out of the apartment when I was 14. I wouldn't have minded so much, except we lived on the third floor." Audacity Jane: "My older brother and I fought when we were kids. He didn't survive."     The hostage-takers were correct about one thing. That evening the team was offered a job. Mr. Johnson's assistant drove Happy Jack (disguised as his alter-ego, Jonathan Bridges) to the meeting.   Mr. Johnson: "Anything I tell you has to be kept absolutely secret by you and your team. If any word of this datasteal gets loose, I will know who is to blame." Jonathan Bridges: "Your name is Mr. Walker, isn't it?" Mr. Walker/Mr. Johnson: (looking stunned) "..." Jonathan Bridges: "You're about to offer us a job to steal genetic research from one of the big eight megacorps?" Mr. Walker: "What? How...?" Jonathan Bridges: "I'm afraid word of this run has already gotten loose, and I'm absolutely certain my team wasn't to blame." Mr. Walker: "..." Jonathan Bridges: "Besides you, who else knew the details of this run?" Mr. Walker turns and looks at his assistant, who bolts from the room. Jonathan Bridges: (over his comlink) "The pigeon is flying. It's my chauffeur for the evening."   Mr. Walker raced after the assistant, followed by Jonathan Bridges / Happy Jack. The assistant managed to escape in the elevator ahead of them.   Jonathan Bridges: "For 50,000 nuyen my team will scoop him up as soon as he hits the street." Mr. Walker: (sputtering) "That ... that ... that's an outrageous price!" Jonathan Bridges: (shrugging) "Secrets are expensive. And right now, you don't know how many of yours he compromised." Mr. Walker: "..." Jonathan Bridges: "If you have a second team sitting outside the building, feel free to call them for a competing quote. Otherwise, your window of opportunity is going to last as long as an express elevator ride."   After the assistant was captured, Mr. Walker still tried to hire the team for the shadowrun. He refused, however, to pay the asking price of 1 million nuyen, half up front. The team figured it was a fair price, since word had already leaked that Aztechnology was the target ... and that our team was being approached for the run.   Presumably Mr. Walker hired another team of suck... I mean shadowrunners ... to complete the job.   No-Step: "What are we going to do to the thugs who were holding my mother?" Eye Spy: "Sell them to the ghouls. Everybody needs to eat." Audacity Jane: "Sell them to the organ-leggers. They pay better." Eye Spy: "And they sell the scraps to the ghouls." Happy Jack: "Some of them may have family members who are willing to pay to have them returned alive." Byte Force: "That's risky. Lone Star may try to set a trap for you." Happy Jack: "They'll be setting a trap for the kidnappers. I'll be offering my services to the families as a professional ransom negotiator." Byte Force: "They pay you to negotiate a ransom with us? Twisted." No-Step: "I hate to interrupt your greed, but I'm not agreeing to let those monsters walk away scott free." Dent: "No problem. I'll rip a bunch of incriminating evidence from their minds. Turn it over to Lone Star anonymously, and they'll never go free." No-Step: "what if Lone Star ignores it?" Byte Force: "I can also send a copy to their Alamos 20K buddies. They'll kill them just to keep them from talking to Lone Star."

Having played the same modules, I think our team was more successful at running some of those modules off the rails.
 
Drhoz previously described your version of DNA/DOA (linked here), which we also ran ... or started to.
 
The module derailed as follows ...
 
The shadowrunners were an ork/troll group. Against stereotype, they specialized in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.   Dent: ork, rat shaman No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems Happy Jack: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator Mr. Johnson: generic name used by/for secretive employers who hire shadowrunners Alamos 20,000: a murderous, anti-metahuman organization   The team met at No-Step's safehouse one morning in response to a frantic text.   Happy Jack: (arriving with the rest) "What's up No-Step?" No-Step: (obviously stressed) "Nothing." (he holds up a note for them to read) No-Step's note: "I'm being blackmailed! Alamos 20K has my mother! They're making me carry a bug/tracker!"   The bug/tracker was quickly resolved ... since standard operating procedure was to turn every safehouse into a farraday cage.   According to No-Step's blackmailers, the team was going to be offered a job that evening. After completing the job, No-Step was supposed to turn the data over to the hostage-takers, rather than Mr. Johnson. To make matters worse, the captors apparently intended to use the data to create an anti-metahuman bioweapon.   Dent: (to No-Step) "What's the big deal. You know what your mother looks like, right?" No-Step: "What kind of stupid question is that?" Eye Spy: (muttering to herself) "Sheesh. Not all of us do." Dent: "I didn't mean that literally. You've assenced her. Seen her aura." No-Step: "Yes...." Dent: "Piece of cake. I'll show you how to find her."   Dent, a rules-lawyer at heart, gave a step-by-step primer on how to track her using watcher spirits and overcome every conceivable obstacle ... while the GM planted his head on the table.   By early afternoon the team had rescued No-Step's mother and taken a dozen Alamos 20,000 members captive.   Dent (ooc): Why did you abduct No-Step's mother? This would have been more challenging if you'd done it to one of the unawakened. GM: He was the only one I was sure would care about his immediate family. Byte Force: "Everybody keeps telling me that I have to have a family somewhere. Given the state of modern reproductive science and cloning technology, I just think those people are old-fashioned luddites." Happy Jack: "My parents threw me out of the apartment when I was 14. I wouldn't have minded so much, except we lived on the third floor." Audacity Jane: "My older brother and I fought when we were kids. He didn't survive."     The hostage-takers were correct about one thing. That evening the team was offered a job. Mr. Johnson's assistant drove Happy Jack (disguised as his alter-ego, Jonathan Bridges) to the meeting.   Mr. Johnson: "Anything I tell you has to be kept absolutely secret by you and your team. If any word of this datasteal gets loose, I will know who is to blame." Jonathan Bridges: "Your name is Mr. Walker, isn't it?" Mr. Walker/Mr. Johnson: (looking stunned) "..." Jonathan Bridges: "You're about to offer us a job to steal genetic research from one of the big eight megacorps?" Mr. Walker: "What? How...?" Jonathan Bridges: "I'm afraid word of this run has already gotten loose, and I'm absolutely certain my team wasn't to blame." Mr. Walker: "..." Jonathan Bridges: "Besides you, who else knew the details of this run?" Mr. Walker turns and looks at his assistant, who bolts from the room. Jonathan Bridges: (over his comlink) "The pigeon is flying. It's my chauffeur for the evening."   Mr. Walker raced after the assistant, followed by Jonathan Bridges / Happy Jack. The assistant managed to escape in the elevator ahead of them.   Jonathan Bridges: "For 50,000 nuyen my team will scoop him up as soon as he hits the street." Mr. Walker: (sputtering) "That ... that ... that's an outrageous price!" Jonathan Bridges: (shrugging) "Secrets are expensive. And right now, you don't know how many of yours he compromised." Mr. Walker: "..." Jonathan Bridges: "If you have a second team sitting outside the building, feel free to call them for a competing quote. Otherwise, your window of opportunity is going to last as long as an express elevator ride."   After the assistant was captured, Mr. Walker still tried to hire the team for the shadowrun. He refused, however, to pay the asking price of 1 million nuyen, half up front. The team figured it was a fair price, since word had already leaked that Aztechnology was the target ... and that our team was being approached for the run.   Presumably Mr. Walker hired another team of suck... I mean shadowrunners ... to complete the job.   No-Step: "What are we going to do to the thugs who were holding my mother?" Eye Spy: "Sell them to the ghouls. Everybody needs to eat." Audacity Jane: "Sell them to the organ-leggers. They pay better." Eye Spy: "And they sell the scraps to the ghouls." Happy Jack: "Some of them may have family members who are willing to pay to have them returned alive." Byte Force: "That's risky. Lone Star may try to set a trap for you." Happy Jack: "They'll be setting a trap for the kidnappers. I'll be offering my services to the families as a professional ransom negotiator." Byte Force: "They pay you to negotiate a ransom with us? Twisted." No-Step: "I hate to interrupt your greed, but I'm not agreeing to let those monsters walk away scott free." Dent: "No problem. I'll rip a bunch of incriminating evidence from their minds. Turn it over to Lone Star anonymously, and they'll never go free." No-Step: "what if Lone Star ignores it?" Byte Force: "I can also send a copy to their Alamos 20K buddies. They'll kill them just to keep them from talking to Lone Star."

Shadowrun. June 2052, and we find ourselves mixed up in elven political shenanigans again. At least it makes a change from dragons.

Felix OoC: Purrdence is a Smut Field generator, Inkubus is a Smut Sink.
Inkubus: I collapse the Smut Field. With the Power of the D!
Felix: It's a lightning rod, is it?
Inkubus: I earth out the Smut Field!

Warhammer bemoans the lack of drinking on the trip out to the Puyullup Barrens slums.

Felix: Given how many vehicles use gasohol, these days, is it 'One for the car, one for me, one for the car, one for me'?

Sandii: This is your lucky night - you're going to a party.
Inkubus: *headdesk* And of course I said yes.

Our fixer is very attractive, right up until she flashes the stainless steel razorteeth.

Inkubus: Nope, nope, nope.
Greenlight: Maybe not the effect you were looking for, lady.
Felix: The Anti-Viagra.

The Johnson we're meeting wants to meet at a very noisy Elven nightclub.

Felix: *hums the Mos Eisley Cantina Band tune*
Inkubus: Hey, stop putting Jizz in my ear!

And yes, the Cantina Band's musical style really is called jizz. You have to wonder what the Star Wars writers were thinking, sometimes. Anyway, a club full of elves isn't that unusual - to the disgust of the elf nation Tir Tairngire, most elves has gone pop-culture instead of 'traditional'.

Felix: Not all elves are Galadriel.

As instructed, we mingle until the client comes to us. Greenlight hides in a corner, Titus passes for scenery, Felix bemoans the lack of anything worth ingesting at the bar, Labrat cuts a rug, and Inkubus completely botches his temptation check and promptly becomes the centre of Typhoon Inkubus.

Mr. Johnson: I believe you are the people I am here to meet. Is the rest of your team to hand?
Felix: *sigh and glance at the dance floor where one of the more obscure Hindu gods is apparently having an epileptic seizure.*

GM: How do you do an Elven accent?
Inkubus OoC: Start with Antonio Banderas
Greenlight OoC: And sprinkle with a bit of Paddy McGinty.
Inkubus OoC: As long as McGinty was sober.
Titus OoC: So, dead then.

Inkubus refuses to leave the mosh-pit orgy. Apparently it's a religious thing. Leaving Titus to keep an eye on him, just in case. The rest of us retire to the Elf Johnson's private room. According to the client, the Young Elven Technologists policlub have been doing naughty stuff. Felix's conspiracy dabblings ring a bell at this point, and he swears internally, because the YET policlub has links to Ehran the Scribe, the allegedly immortal author of that manuscript we stole, and an associate of that Scots elf Quicksilver. To avoid political embarrassment somewhere on the Watergate Scale - or possibly ensure it - we need to steal some data. A problem, since none of us are hackers.

Felix: If we walk off with their mainframe, they'll probably notice.

But we can at least call in some friends. Now all we need are passcodes, access to the suite that Ehran the Scribe will be using on his upcoming visit to Seattle, and hack a company from the club and incriminate the Y.E.T.

Titus: This guy is terrible at operational security - the entire team he just hired are in the damn building he wants a Run on.
Felix: He's probably relying on the idea 'It can't have been them, they walked right in here.'
Greenlight: Refuge in f**king audacity.
Felix: 'No shadowrunner would be so stupid as to start an orgy on the dance floor DURING A RUN.'
Inkubus: Speaking of which, I failed that temptation check too.
Felix: *facepalm*

Labrat calls in the assistance of his Korean hacker friend Kimchi. And while she's at it, we try to ID the Johnson. His facial scars, that look like he tried to make out with a kitchen blender, should help there. At least whatever we do, it's going to be hard to distract people's attention from Inkubus on the dance floor. Greenlight leaves the club, and returns disguised as an elf.

Inkubus OoC: I hope I recognise her.
Greenlight: I'm not going NEAR the dance floor.

Greenlight bluffs her way past the bouncers and into the policlub levels.

GM: What are you waving?
Greenlight: Fake security pass.
GM: Oh, I thought it was your stun-baton.
Felix: Admittedly a stun-baton is ALMOST as good for getting you into a secure area as an actual pass.

Felix tells Inkubus what the rest of the team are up to, including Greenlight's disguise.

Felix: Watch out for an elf in a blue dress.
Inkubus: Is she cute? Should I try and chat her up?
Felix: ..... *pokerface* Why yes! She is! You do that!
Inkubus OoC: You bastard.

Alas, Inkubus sees through Felix' deception.

Inkubus: You know, you're awfully eager about this. Usually you're the first one trying to shut me down.

Greenlight: Do you want to go get a drink with me at the bar?
Security: I can't leave my post
Greenlight: Pleasepleasepleaseplease?

Kimchi and the orc Labrat get caught in the server room.

Felix: Are you going to need help removing that guard's memories?
Warhammer: I'm going to remove the guard. *punches him out and stuffs him in a closet*

They've just finished getting the passcodes when an explosion rocks the building and automatic gunfire opens up from the lounge. Given Felix was the only one still in the actual club - Titus and Warhammer was playing cards in the team's 'garbage truck' and Inkubus is naked somewhere - this is bad news for Felix.

Felix: ... F**k!

He attempts to play dead while the gunmen - from the elven extremist group Paranobilis - wander around shooting survivors. We've brushed with before (well, assassinated some of their leadership). Inkubus flies in, naked and glowing.

Titus: Crotch first.
Inkubus: Worse - I was interrupted mid coitus. This is officially my weirdest fight yet. WHO'S MY BITCH

Titus charges in, using one of the exit hatches from the truck as a tower shield. Labrat was clever with his design. The first three gunman get trampled underfoot. We've probably got at least 15 minutes before the Lone Star cops show up. Assuming somebody calls them. Even though there was an explosion. This is the Barrens after all. Or, you know, you could have Greenlight pretend to be a cop.

Greenlight: This is Lone Star! Drop your weapons or you WILL be killed!

Certainly, the Paranobilis group are already on the back foot, what with the glowy flying naked elf, Warhammer hosing them down with gunfire, and the troll battering ram. So this bluff actually works.

Greenlight: If at first it doesn't work, rub Greenlight on it.

Felix: And the cameras are getting all of this.
Warhammer: We are the best team ever.

At this moment the GM is distracted by the snacks on the gaming table.

GM: That is not a frog.
Felix: *examines* Good god.
GM: This is a schlong.
Titus: Complete with testes. Who let Inkubus pick the nibblies?

Felix: By Somnos and Lethe, inTheNameOfHypnosGodOfSleepSLEEP!!!

The stunball works. VERY well - even Titus reels. No wonder Felix managed to take out that dragon. Inkubus has seen people killed by stun spells that powerful. And there's all those people already wounded by the bomb.

Felix: Whoops. Well, at least we can blame any deaths on Paranobilis.

The glowy naked elf hovers down.

Inkubus: Felix. We need to talk.
Labrat: We need to LEAVE.
Greenlight: This is Lone Star! Everybody remain on the ground.
Inkubus: F**k!
Greenlight: Ssh, it's me, you're fine.
Inkubus: Greenlight? Take that dress off, I want my boner to go away!
Greenlight: I want mine to go away too! Get some pants on!

For boner, read ladyboner. Greenlight's habitual cross-dressing might otherwise lead to confusion. Kimchi finishes framing the YET with the corporate hack, we leave the Paranobilis to whatever retribution is coming, and we all fuck off. True, we still have no idea who the Johnson was, but at least we all get well paid despite the elf-on-elf violence.

A few weeks later, we get another job offer - the latest Johnson has been badly injured and wishes to purchase some retribution.

Felix: Do we do retribution?
Inkubus: *shrug*

Felix wonders how notorious we are now.

Felix: You DID appear flying and naked on camera.
Inkubus: On private camera. It was an elf policlub. They just went "Yeah! Elf Power'. Admittedly some of them were a bit self-conscious about the dick, but...

Our new client is currently in a private room in Seattle General. Judging by the damage, someone tried to ice the Johnson WHILE he was at the hospital. Just as well for the assailants that it was a public hospital, and not a DocWagon facility - in that case it would have been "And how far did they get before the quad-guns reduced them to a crimson vapour?" Although the damage turns out to have been hospital security over-reacting when the Johnson crashed through the roof. The Johnson is a small Western Dragon.

GM: The dragon eyes you emotionally.
Warhammer: Unemotionally?
Felix: I'm not sure I want to be the target of a dragon's emotions.
Inkubus: I know one dragon who would eye us emotionally - Gayschlong.
Gayschlong: Oh f**k YOU guys.
Warhammer: Uh, yeah... this is awkward.

Actually, it's not Geyswain - but the tiny dragon has been badly shot up. We're still appalled that we're getting involved in the affairs of a SIXTH dragon, even one that seems more interested in Tri-D than his injuries, after everything with that 'human' in the limo, Celadyr, Lofwyr, Aleesh, and Geyswain.

Our client's most important injury is his total amnesia as to what happened to him, who he is, and why someone would try to kill him. The dragon offers to pay with a ring from one of his horns - a ring that Inkubus instantly recognises. He last saw it as a bracelet on Maria Mercurial, a current pop superstar. And it gets weirder - the dragon also has custom data-jacks. EXTREMELY rare and unusual.

Inkubus: So we're taking the job then - this is too damn interesting.

Lucky Titus has Psychometry, on top of his accounting, gardening, and grievous bodily harm skills. That should bypass half the plot. It would appear the dragon escaped from a cage, managed to fry his own brain with an experimental cyberdeck, dodged their security team, and eventually crashed into the hospital. This is a little alarming. If somebody is even CLOSE to inventing neural implants for dragons, this is huge news, especially since related technology - such as those Persona Chips from the first adventure - can then be used to CONTROL dragons.

Inkubus: I don't want a Jack the Ripper dragon.
Warhammer: I want a Ghenghis Khan dragon!
Inkubus: You wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

Inkubus: I'm going to have to probe your mind. I'm telling you this so when you feel the probe you don't...
Felix: Bite his head off.
Inkubus: Bite my head off. Or eat me. Or breath fire. Whatever.
Dragon: I see. I warn you a dragon's mind is sacrosanct.
Inkubus: I understand.
Felix: Besides, with that fee you get full confidentiality anyway.

The spell Mindprobe bypasses another quarter of the plot. He's the dragon Eliohann, who's always had a fascination with technology.

Inkubus: This is the first time I've Mindprobed somebody that wants me to go deeper.

Working for yet another dragon, and working so effectively, is going to do wonders for our reputation.

Inkubus: 'We work for dragons. Sure, you scare the shit out of us. But we're greedy.'
GM: At this rate the dragons are going to start bidding wars to hire you.

Is this someone's strategy for getting good quotes? Post horrible puns until I come up with some quotes to break the chain?
 
More excerpts from the Shadowrun game. As previously stated, the runners are an ork/troll group. Completely against stereotype, they specialize in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.
  Dent: ork, rat shaman No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems Happy Jack (aliases include Jonathan Bridges): troll, combat, disguise, negotiator Mr. Johnson: generic name used by/for secretive employers who hire shadowrunners     When Happy Jack meets with clients, he usually goes as one of his alternate identities: the distinguished Jonathan Bridges.   Mr. Johnson: "Thank you for meeting with me mister ..." Jonathan Bridges: "It's my pleasure to be here, Mr. Johnson. I'm Mr. Bridges." Mr. Johnson: "Mr. Bridges ... as in ..." Jonathan Bridges: "If you're about to make some comment regarding bridges and trolls, I've heard it before."     The shadowrunners discuss how they're spending their latest windfall...   Audacity Jane: "I can't believe you just spent 10,000 nuyen on a suit. What a waste of money." Happy Jack: "It's a high fashion suit with an armor lining. It's what the top executives wear." Audacity Jane: "So what? It's not like you're going to sneak into a building dressed like a troll CEO on our runs. You're still going in dressed as a janitor or a maintenance man like usual."   A few weeks later, while Jonathan Bridges (aka Happy Jack) was negotiating with a different Mr. Johnson...   Mr. Johnson: "And I'm prepared to pay each member of your team 6,000 nuyen." Jonathan Bridges: "6,000 nuyen? My suit costs more than that." Mr. Johnson: "..."   Unsurprisingly, the pay got negotiated above 10,000 nuyen apiece.
 
 
Discussing equipment on hand...
 
Eye Spy: "Do you have any anti-vehicular grenades?" Happy Jack: "Sure." (tosses a grenade to Eye Spy) Eye Spy: "This is a paint grenade." Happy Jack: "It's hard to drive or shoot when your windshield is covered with paint."   This led to the following conversation a few weeks later...   Byte Force: "What chemicals can I cook up for you today?" Happy Jack: "Paint for grenades. I'd like something that works a bit better than what we already have." Byte Force: "What are you looking to change?" Happy Jack: "Could you mess with the viscosity and surface tension? I'd like it to stick better to vehicle  windshields. And if they run windshield wipers, I'd like that to just smear the paint around without clearing it off." Byte Force: "Okay. That might be possible..." Happy Jack: "And could you include something that has a bit of an exothermic reaction? It doesn't need to be too strong. Just push the temperature of the paint over body temperature so it blocks infrared and thermographic vision." Byte Force: "Heh. That still won't help you much if the vehicle has radar." Happy Jack: "I was just getting to that. Could you mix in tiny particles of metal in order to scatter radar beams?" Byte Force: "****! Do you want the paint to yodel too, so it blocks sonar?" (long pause) Happy Jack: "That's a good idea ... but that might be a bit too much to expect from paint."     Needing no explanation...   Audacity Jane: "Of course dragons are at the top of the food chain. I can't eat that much."

Drhoz's Shadowrun stories have reminded me of an old Shadowrun campaign.
 
The runners are an ork/troll group. Completely against stereotype, they specialize in stealth, subtlety, bluff, illusion, deception and misdirection.
 
Dent: ork, rat shaman
No-Step: ork, snake shaman, healer
Byte Force: ork, decker, chemist
Eye Spy: ork, rigger, drones, paramedic
Audacity Jane: ork, combat, stealth, security systems
Happy Jack: troll, combat, disguise, negotiator
 
The runners all live in the Ork Underground.
 
GM: You could live in different neighborhoods.
Happy Jack: We live in a neighborhood where 80% of our enemies stick out like a sore thumb, and we look like everybody else.
 
I have no idea how many of the GM's adventure ideas we screwed up by living in that neighborhood.
 
But in this episode, the GM decided to run with the Ork Underground idea. Alamos 20,000 somehow managed to steal some cyberhounds and reprogram them. True to form, they released them at an entrance to the Ork Underground and sent them in to slaughter anyone they found. Coincidentally, the cyberhounds entered the Ork Underground near the PCs location. The dogs didn't last long.
 
Dent: "Hey, real meat is on the menu tonight!"
 
Audacity Jane: (to Happy Jack) "Why did you insist on subduing the last one?"
Happy Jack: "So Byte Force can reprogram it and have a guard dog."
Byte Force: "I can't afford to feed a dog. They eat meat."
Happy Jack: "Meat? What are you talking about? Dogs eat kibble, just like people do."
 
After stripping the cyberware out of the dead cyberhounds...
 
Happy Jack: "Let's make friends with our neighbors. I'm going to pay one of the restaurants to chop it up and cook it for us. Then we can we have a neighborhood party."
 
The neighbors turn out in droves for free meat. Enterprising restaurants and store owners start selling nutrisoy side orders to go along with meat. It turns into an impromptu street festival.
 
..And then the corporate security team walks into the Underground and up to the festival...
 
Security Captain: "We've tracked our stolen property to this area. We want it returned."
Byte Force: "Have some barbecue."
Security Captain: "We're not interested in food. We're interested in our missing property."
Byte Force: "Then have some barbecue."
Happy Jack: (interrupting) "Captain, would your property happen to be four dogs?"
Security Captain: "You have seen our property."
Happy Jack: "So your property ran in and killed three of our neighbors?"
Large crowd of orks and trolls: "..."
Security Captain: "Um..." (pause) "Our property was stolen. We had no control over that. What happened to the dogs after that?"
Happy Jack: (grins) "They ran into me."
 
While the Security Captain was distracted, No-Step walked up behind him and yanked some hair out of his head.
 
Security Captain: "Hey!" (aiming weapons at No-Step)
Audacity Jane: "Captain, if any of you touch that skinny shaman, every man, woman and child here will kill you."
(long pause, as everyone freezes)
Audacity Jane: "Of course ... if you attack the troll, we're just going to sit back and laugh."
Security Guard #1: (to Happy Jack) "The orks don't seem to like you much, troll."
Eye Spy: "We like the troll just fine. We won't miss you lot, though."
Security Guard #2: "He's not even armed, and we have..."
...SHHKKKKKKKKKKT...
(Happy Jack had pulled a blade out of his jacket and yanked open the telescoping handle, turning it into a polearm.)
Audacity Jane: "You have SMGs. He's bulletproof. His polearm has Dikote, so it's going to cut through your armor like butter."
Security Captain: (trying to regain control of the situation) "We're not here for a fight. We're just here to retrieve our property."
Happy Jack: "Have some barbecue. Take it back to your corporation. Run some DNA tests on it. That's as much of your property as you can salvage."
(pause as the security team realizes what happened to the cyberhounds)
Security Captain: "What about the cyberware? You didn't eat that. We'd like it back."
Happy Jack: "Go talk to your corporate medics and wage mages. If they can find a way to bring our neighbors back from the dead, we'll see about getting your cyberware back."
Security Captain: "The people who stole the dogs are responsible for the deaths."
Happy Jack: "If we learn anything about the thieves, we'll be happy to pass the information on to you. But your negligence contributed to the situation."
(the security team turns to leave)
Happy Jack: "Captain, your corporation managed to generate a fair amount of ill-will through today's events. Let your bosses know that we would consider it a gesture of goodwill if they set aside an appropriate amount of money for the bereaved families."
Security Captain: "I'll mention it, but I can't guarantee anything."
No-Step: (holding up the strands of the captain's hair) "Persuade them, Captain."
 
After the security team leaves...
 
Dent: "How did they track the dogs to this spot? Tracer chips in the dogs' cyberware?"
Happy Jack: "And that's why we always throw stuff into farraday cages."

I remember this part of the adventure. We actually figured out how to fulfill the letter of our agreement not to touch anything in the office, but still get our hands on the credstick...
 
I don't recall the exactly how the discussion went, but it went something like this (after we were safely away):
 
"Morlock told us that we can't touch the stuff in the office. He didn't say anything about what we do to stuff outside the building. We wait until the chief editor takes the credstick out of the building, then we grab it from him. I can figure out a few possible scenarios. We just need to be able to cover those possibilities, and we're good."
 
"We know credsticks aren't for normal, legitimate business. They'd just run those through their normal accounts. It's either secret or dirty. If it's dirty, they don't want to be caught with it. If it's secret, they don't want to be asked about it. If this was a megacorp, nobody would think twice. They always keep millions in dirty or secret nuyen around. But this is a little publisher. Maybe the company is fronting for somebody. Maybe the editor is. Maybe the company or the editor is into something illegal and is hiding the money here. For the most part, it doesn't matter."
 
"If this is the chief editor's illegal stash, then he needs to move it before the company starts investigating thoroughly, and he'll have to do it himself to avoid arousing suspicion. Even if it's the company's money, he may claim that we stole it, then pocket it himself. That still means he has to move it himself."
 
"If the chief editor is just a loyal front man for something secretive or dirty, then he still has to move it. That safe just isn't secure, and he knows it. Even if there's another safe in the building, he can't use that either. It was in the chief editor's safe, because that ensures that he's the only one who can access it. If they put it anywhere else in that building, some other employee will be able to access it too. We made it clean enough that they have to wonder whether we had someone inside. If so, moving it to another spot in the same building could hand it to the inside man. They've got to move it to somewhere secure outside the building."
 
"Given what that program did inside of their system, they're going to get investigated. Big time. So they have to move it subtly. Maybe the chief editor moves it himself. Maybe he gets a bodyguard to accompany him. Maybe he uses a high-end bonded courier. If he gets much beyond that, he's going to attract attention. It's going to stay small. No armored vehicles. No squads of company men. No helicopters. It will be something that won't stand out too much in this environment."
 
"And we can make sure that they're under scrutiny. Once they've had time to discover the problem, we'll anonymously tip off a couple young and hungry reporters. They can hang around, asking questions, taking pictures, being nosy. With reporters around, they can't bring in big guns."
 
"After that, we just watch to see who comes in and compare the visitors to employees and clients. If a new face shows up before the chief editor leaves the building, that's the courier or bodyguard."
 
"So we need a plan to hit a moving vehicle. We're taking the vehicle and one or two occupants. We use disguises because we may be recorded by the reporters. We'll need enough diversion to cover our escape. That's the mission. Let's get some eyes on the publisher and come up with a real plan."
 
The conversation was done in front of the GM, and there was some metagaming that went into what was said. Either the GM could take the mini-adventure we had just handed him and run with it, or he could come up with some transparent, genre-breaking way to keep the money out of our hands.

Clown Commander, announcing his evil plan.
 "I want all the soap in New York City delivered to Central Park by 3 PM, or the city will suffer a bubble bath like it has never seen. What do you think of that, Mr. Mayor?"

Mayor (Tied up and gagged): Mfft! !#$#@!!!!!
  "Mr. Pibbles, use the agonizer...AGGGGGH! ACK! AAAGGH!....pant...wheeze...
not...on...me."   -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Sun Soldier: Attention, humans! Your confectionary weaponry and carbonated weapons are no match for the science of the Kwa'luur. Lay down your pogo sticks and surrender and you will not be harmed!   -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Gideon's Player: Can I be seen inside the Banana?   --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------    Gideon's Player: I get on the pogo stick, leap up, and shoot the balloon man.   GM: You pop the balloon man, and inside is a monkey operating it with some sort of contraption.   Sun Soldier: I should have known the apes were behind this.   Monkey: Awk awk...        

Shadowrun - Where Purrdence was hanging around and the Smut Field Intensity correspondingly high. Amazingly, since Inkubus was mostly absent this session, it appears the elf libertine is actually a Smut Sink.

Felix: Labrat! I have a gift for you!
Greenlight: It's a monkey! It has electrodes in its feet.
Felix: There's a Smartphone app that comes with it.
Greenlight: It's called 'Dance, Monkey, Dance!'

It's actually a stealth drone, which may be very useful in a hunt for a serial killer dragon. So will the cunningly modified garbage truck that Labrat has been working on - it looks ordinary and unimportant, but it's filled to the brim with armour, sensors, luxury amenities, and weapons.

Labrat: One problem - the base vehicle is the least cool vehicle on the streets.
Felix: Inkubus' Kryptonite

Felix: I'm not sure how Inkubus is going to deal with a possessed serial killer dragon - and I'm not sure I want to know.

Inkubus: I still think it's a bad idea to let any dragons know we're taking money to kill dragons. Even if it's a dragon that's paying for the hit.
Felix: It certainly sets a bad precedent.

This should all be arranged through our fixer

Felix: 'Contact Miss Kitty -
Greenlight: '...and ask about our Godzilla Special'

We receive directions to the meet with the client.

Greenlight: Copy. Sorry. Warhammer is rubbing off- *splutters* I'll see you there!

The Feathered Serpent Aleesh is annoyed that we nicknamed the target Godzilla.

Aleesh: You need to learn more dragonlore, human. The killer is a lesser dracoform
Felix: It's occasionally useful to pretend to have less knowledge of a subject then we really do, especially when negotiating contracts.
Greenlight: You must be a world class actor, Warhammer.

GM: You scramble into the limo
Greenlight's player: This module is making unwarranted assumptions about Shadowrunners. Is there money in there or something?
Warhammer: There's money in there? *pushes his way past and in*

Greenlight: I've never eaten hamburgers in a limo before.
Aleesh: I enjoy the common things in life.
Felix: You'll get on fine with some of this team then.
Warhammer: Because we're so... common... to. find.
Felix: ..... just enjoy your burger.

Aleesh: I am the ancient Feathered Serpent Aleesh
Warhammer: Hi Aleesh. I'm a dwarf. I shoot people.
Labrat: I could say something now but I won't because you're a Feathered Serpent.
Felix: And we're in enough trouble with dragons as it is.
Labrat: Speak for yourself.
Greenlight: I think I should have handled these negotiations alone.
Warhammer: Would have saved time.

As it happens, Aleesh already knows who we are, our involvement in the situation with the Penguin and the evil statue, and is placing the blame squarely on us. We're not being given a choice in the matter - either we help her attack the possessed Dragon Geyswain in his lair or she'll slap a geas on us and we'll do it anyway.

Greenlight: We're going to case the area for a few hours then attack our target Gayschlong.

At least we'll be paid well. And double if we can take Geyswain alive.

Felix: But she didn't say it was necessary - and I don't need the money THAT badly.
Warhammer: Hey! I like money!
Felix: Dragon legs regenerate, right?

At least our target isn't a GREAT dragon. And Aleesh has hired one Jake 'Cheating Cheater' Armitage as further support. Apparently Armitage already has quite the reputation.

Greenlight: Gentlemen, we have just purchased tickets to the best show ever.

The inadvertent innuendo of Armitage's hacking into Geyswain' lair gives us much amusement.

Felix: .... So you're going to penetrate the secret cave of the dragon Gayschlong.
Labrat: Which is apparently squeaky clean.
Warhammer: And wide open.
GM: Armitage sits there, fingering his deck, whistling and occasionally grunting
ALL: LOL.
GM: *headdesk*

We infiltrate Geyswain's office building - it would appear he's already started killing his staff - the same real estate agents that are already turning up dead. SOMETHING has been ageing them decades anyway. Although the bullet-riddled corpse of one is a mystery. Why would his staff turn on each other? Especially if one of them was apparently already dead when he was shot? Are there actual zombies in 2050? Titus stomps their heads in, just in case.

Aleesh: I need to be alone to prepare for my confrontation with Geyswain.
Felix: Ah - those arseless chaps take some getting into.

Greenlight: We're bait.
Felix: So, basically - Aleesh is hoping Geyswain takes so long using us as cocksleeves that she can take him down herself. Joy.

There are dead employees stuffed into every fourth locker.

Greenlight: Meticulous dragon, isn't he?
Felix: That would help in the real estate business - attention to detail.

The seminar room has a whiteboard. And Zombies.

Felix: Does the board have 'How I Did It' signed Geyswain written on it?
Labrat: 'Why I'm So Great'
Felix: 'All Work And No Murder Makes Geyswain A Dull Dragon'

The possessed dragon is in his basement suite amusing himself with a pile of corpses and other flesh toys. We don't stroll in.

Warhammer: We're not completely stupid.
Felix: 'We're just passing through. And walking off with the statue that's the source of all your evil power. Don't mind us'

One of the flesh toys is that elf from the junkyard. He's also still alive, and gasps that the statue was stolen from the Elven Nation. Then Gayschlong attacks.

Titus: You know, I've almost forgotten what his actual name is.

We're also fortunate that it makes a frontal assault, rather than cripple us with area-effect magics first. All the automatic weaponry and miniguns we're carrying might actually take it down. It gets Greenlight's stun baton in the uvula, but amazingly, Felix's first Stunbolt spell takes the dragon down.

Inkubus: 'I'm going to think very bad thoughts at you - Red wine with chicken! Red wine with chicken!'

Greenlight: Bubbles is kicking ass!

Aleesh arrives in her natural form.

Felix: So now we're between two dragons. Joy.
Titus: We're cool!
Warhammer: We got this!
Aleesh: *swats the other dragon hard*
Warhammer: Hey!
Felix: Kill-steal!

Aleesh destroys the bottled daemon, despite apparent ill grace at our success, throws the empty statue at Felix who recoils in horror, and orders us to leave.

Aleesh: Leave. I must talk with the youngling.
Greenlight: Advise him on stun-batons. They're fun.
Warhammer: And not chew toys.

We stroll out invisible, and jiggle the unconscious elf in front of the Lone Star cops that have shown up.

Felix: Dance, Monkey, Dance!

Leaving the cops to fume about the elf's Diplomatic Immunity, we steal a cop car and make our serene departure. True, the elf contacts us a few days later and offers to pay for the statue. but we left it behind.

Felix: We can rest happy imagining his negotiations with Lone Star to get the statue out of the evidence locker.

Plus, if he wants it THAT bad he can always pay us to steal it for him.

I remember the very first time a new player joined our group of experienced D&D'ers. One of them had told him something about trapped candles that shoot magic fire at whoever passes in front of them.
So, during the adventure, I (GM) am describing a narrow hallway, completely oblivious to the conversation mentioned above, and tell them that there are a pair of red candles.
Immediately, our new player goes: "I know this! Those are those dangerous candles, aren't they?" He proceeds to cut them to pieces and grins at me in triumph over his cleverness.
Me: " Ok. You're now standing in the dark."
 
Ever since that day, I always made sure there was at least 1 room in the enemy stronghold that had candles