Ockham's Spoon

Don't look now...
 

Maybe my new favorite Your Mom joke:
 
Your Mom is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke. 

A guy walked into a pet store and asked the cashier, " Can I get a dozen eggs?"
 
"I'm sorry, sir, we don't have eggs."
 
"Okay," the guy said, and walked out of the store.
 
The next day the same guy walked into the store and asked, "Can I get a dozen eggs?"
 
"Look, I told you yesterday that we don't have any eggs."
 
"Okay," he said and walked out of the store.
 
The next day, the same guy want back into the pet store and asked, "Can I get a dozen eggs?"
 
"I'm getting really tired of your crap. We do not have any eggs, and if you come back in here again asking for eggs, I will hit you with a golf club."
 
"Okay," and he left the store.
 
The next day, the same guy walked back into the store and asked, "Can I get a seven iron?"
 
The cashier seemed confused. "This is a pet store. Why in the world would we have a seven iron?"
 
"You don't have any golf clubs?"
 
"No, I don't have any golf clubs."
 
"Okay. Can I get a dozen eggs?"

I started out a campaign by someone letting slip that a dragon had died in its lair from unknown causes, leaving all its vast treasures in place.  The PCs think they are the only ones who know, but others have learned as well.  And the lair its self is far from safe even without a dragon in it...
 
...and what killed the dragon?

"Take out" means so many things.
 
Could be going on a date.
 
Could be killing someone.
 
Could be dinner.
 
Could be all three at once if you are a praying mantis.

I saw an exchange like that in a similar thread once.
 
Her: "I'm here to take you out."
 
Me: "Date, or assassination?"
 
Her: "Let's start with coffee and see where it goes."
 
Me: "That's fair." 

I discovered that the hardest thing about learning to walk on stilts is the ground.

A traveling salesman offered me a deal on a coffin. 
 
I told him that's the last thing I need.