Pariah

Re: Answers & Questions

A: I don't care what your resolution is -- I'm just glad anyone's watching me at all.

Q: What did Paris Hilton say to the guy with dial-up and an 800 x 600 monitor?

A: We're gonna need a can of 10W40 motor oil, a copy of Quantum Mechanics for Dummies, a roll of duct tape, and an Antarean pickle.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Subtle signs that putting Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton in the leads of the new Chicago revival was a bad idea.

One of the earliest sponsors for the new musical is the Betty Ford Clinic.

Re: Answers & Questions

A: Obscure Latin Phrases for $1200 is the Daily Double!

Q: How is Father Hannigan ever going to get back into the game?

A: Nothing that couldn't be cured with a strong anti-psychotic and half a cup of lime juice.

Re: What Are You Listening To Right Now?

If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me by Jimmy Buffett

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Particularly onerous casting of real-world situations into HERO game terms.

If only I'd known that running for Congress included such a massive INT Drain....

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Cheerleaders do not make good ______________________

Physics instructors. Physics demonstrations, maybe...

New Topic: I find your lack of __________ disturbing.

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

"The last time I gave an interview they told me to just relax and say what I really felt. Ten minutes after the broadcast I got transferred to an outpost so far off the starmaps you couldn't find it with a hunting dog and a ouiji board."

-Commander Sinclair, Babylon 5

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

Grenade dodging, Sand surfing, and Walking around in public without a burqa.

Re: Jokes

Okay' date=' you have a [b']point[/b]. Where did I cross the line?

Wow, you just won't let this go. You must really have some axes to grind.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: The most worthless article of clothing you can imaging being received as a gift.

Paris, Lindsay, or any of the other 'pop tarts' receiving a nun's habit.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Creative ways to offend the Amish.

Go on and on to them about how much you loved the Osmonds.

Re: Answers & Questions

A: ASSWIPE: Shadow of Peoria.

Q: Did you forget to take you Tourette's medication again?

A: I find your proposal highly original, vastly intriguing, and deeply disturbing.

Re: Trick Arrow Villain?

* Heat Seeking Arrow: EB or RKA with No Range Modifier

* Boomerang Arrow: EB or RKA with Indirect (The opponent thinks you missed...until the arrow slams into him from behind!)

* 'Cropduster' Arrow: Darkness or NND (Gas/Smoke) Attack with Area Effect: Line

* Magnesium Flare Arrow: Images (bright light), Area Effect: Radius (Great for lighting up dark alleys and such)

* Stinkbomb Arrow: Entangle based on CON, not STR (Smells so bad, it makes everyone start to vomit), not vs. those with appropriate Life Support

* Screeching Arrow: Drain/Dispel/Suppress vs. Mental Powers (The high-pitched squealing makes it really hard for mentalists to concentrate)

Those were just a few things that came to mind. If any of them help, feel free to use them.

Re: Jokes

There's no need to get so graphic. You can be plane with me.

We're on a whole different page now. The least you could do is coordinate your responses...

Re: Answers & Questions

A: That was something I did not need to see in high-definition.

Q: Tammy Faye's funeral was an open-casket ceremony?

(With apologies to the departed.)

A: You, you, and you, panic. The rest of you, follow me.

Re: Jokes

A blind man walked into a bar one night. One of the patrons at the bar saw him and helped him get to a barstool and get a drink. After a few minutes, the blind man leaned over to his new friend and said, "I just heard the world's best blonde joke. Would you like to hear it?"

The other man said, "Friend, before you say another word, there's something you need to know."

"What's that?" the blind man asked.

"There are five people besides you in this bar. The bartender is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. There are two women sitting at the end of the bar. One is an off-duty police officer, and the other is a Marine Corps gunnery sergeant, and they're both blond. I'm six-foot-four, two hundred and sixty pounds, and I've got a third degree black belt in karate, and I'm blonde.

"So," the man concluded, "Are you sure you really want to tell that joke?"

The blind man thought about it for a minute and said, "No, not if I'm going to have to explain it five times."

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NP : Stylish applications of your new Paladin-skin trophy

"Here, Lionel, put this in Nicole's room. Maybe it'll keep her out of trouble."

New Topic - Let The Punishment Fit The Crime: Celebrities Behaving Badly

Re: Answers & Questions

A: And that is the lesson to be learned from the Parable of the Celebrity Harlot and the Octopus Men from A Planet near Alpha Centauri. Let us close with a hymn.

Q: What did Reverend Sharpton say to make you think he was on LSD for Sunday's sermon?

A: I didn't like it then, and I like it a whole lot less now.

Re: Answers & Questions

A: That's the taste of breaking glass.

Q: I've never been thrown through a plate glass window before. It's an odd collection of sensations. For example, what's this flavor explosion I'm experiencing?

A: Annie Lennox or k d lang, you decide.

Re: What Are You Listening To Right Now?

160 Million Dollar Chinese Man from the Ocean's Eleven soundtrack.

Re: Jokes

I don't know if any of the rest of you heard this, but the American Medical Association just approved the use of lawyers in medical research instead of lab rats. They cited four main reasons:

1. There are more of them.

2. The researchers don't get so attached.

3. The ASPCA doesn't consider it cruelty.

4. There are some things a rat just won't do.

Re: Jokes

Nah, he'll be cooling his heels in the Big (ice)House for a long, long time.

Re: Answers & Questions

A: Twenty-Four.

Q: Arthur, are you feeling dyslexic?

A: Sorta like that, but with brooms.

Re: Answers & Questions

Q: One of these things not like the others' date=' one of things is sorta fun.[/quote']

Just as an aside, Mr. Hopcroft, I'm a little worried about you....

A: Actually, no, because you've stopped singing now.

Q: Wow, singing the national anthem was swell! Do I get a glove now?

 

A: It's not the sort of thing you normally see on a cricket pitch, that's for sure.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat

NT: Particularly unwise outdoor activities to engage in during a severe thunderstorm.

Jousting. In full field plate. On motorcycles.