Pariah

Writing a URL like http://xkcd.com/703/ on a student paper while grading exams is probably overly snarky and obscure.

One of my students asked me today, "Do you have a fork or a spoon I can have?" I replied, "I have both of those things. Which would you like?" She said, "Oh, either one is fine."
 
So I gave her a spork.

Very well.
 
ORDERLY! That one ... both eyes out.

It's certainly low-carb.

OffTopic: I thought his was stealing cakes?
 
OnTopic: Being so ugly even Death doesn't want to see your face.
 
NT: People who are so ugly Death will never come to collect them.

I, on the other hand, have a one-year-old. Today, in fact. I can't believe he's been here for a year. (I also can't believe he's already too big for 24-month clothes. But I digress.)
 

I, on the other hand, have a one-year-old. Today, in fact. I can't believe he's been here for a year. (I also can't believe he's already too big for 24-month clothes. But I digress.)
 

It's Boxing Day.
 
NT: Superpowers that go unnoticed on Halloween.

...like certain posters here on this thread.
 

Does Barca have Loungers?
 
EDIT: apologies: that is an obscure US culture reference.

OK, I suppose he counts. Or counted, fifty years ago.
 
I wonder how many teenagers these days recognize Ringo Starr as anything other than the first conductor in the Thomas the Tank Engine series.

"It must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays."

Hey, some guys from boy bands turn out to be pretty decent musicians.

Are you trying to start a flame war?!
 
(And why aren't we doing fish things anymore?)

Ambush Bug dresses up as himself. Since he has been officially expelled from the DC Universe, it's a perfect disguise.

Well, the Martian Manhunter does a different costume at each house. For houses with treats he likes, he goes multiple times in different guises.

He's Whatever Gives The Most Pluses!

Edited it for you. 

Brief aside:  Have you seen Iron Sky? 
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Py_IndUbcxc
 
"President Palin" moments at 0:37, 0:56, and 1:16
 
 
 
Actually, things weren't all that bad under George Bush senior.  (Or Bill Clinton, for that matter.)
 
NT:  Unusual things to hand out to trick-or-treaters for Halloween instead of candy.

Constantly mocking me about the way I spell 'aluminum' and 'cesium'.

Large contributions to the Committee to Elect Foxbat.

Second Edict part 1: The Minnesota Vikings get three times as many draft picks as anyone else, as well as $20 million more in cap space.

If this were a campaign, I would play the snot out of it.
 

Throw the Kardashians and a few key politicians in there, and I'll supply the cement.

It involves Rush Limbaugh, Roseanne Barr, Justin Beiber, Miley Cyrus, quick drying cement and a pair of oranges