Pariah

88/100
 
http://youtu.be/nVXmMMSo47s
 
Can't listen to this one without hearing Weird Al's Yoda
 

You find that you have been elected President of the United States due to Write-In ballots.
 
By one vote.
 
The next four years of personal hell is your punishment for putting your name on your own ballot.
 
Moron.
 
NT: What's the next stupid thing you are gonna do now that you are President of the USofA?

...or by avoiding Seinfeld.

Have a bunch of Democrats dressed as British Redcoats toss their manifesto into Boston harbour

For the record, I thought your old avatar was outstanding.

For the record, I thought your old avatar was outstanding.

Yes, that's right.

Damned Fratboys. They assume their nude jello wrestling fundraiser needs to involve the whole town.

Me. And it was a drunken bet that I will not repeat again.

Isn't the correct answer to that question technically everyone in this thread?

...and we have a large contingent of anti-vax nutcases in my part of the world as a result.
 
(If I ever meet that guy, I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. And by 'piece of my mind' I mean 'boot to the head'.)

#3 reminds me of this one:
 
Always give 100%...unless you're donating blood.

Mulan and Merida, fighting back-to-back, wipe out the rest of the Disney animated canon.
 
New Topic: Subtle signs that Tim Taylor is done putting up with your crap.

Q: What do your players have after a long night session of battling supervillains?
 
A: I don't think "Hangin' with Nathan Hale" is the best choice as a Revolutionary War tag-line.

A farmer had 97 sheep in his field. But when he rounded them up, he had 100.

You are overqualified for American politics, then.

If you can steal from many authors and integrate the stolen bits into a coherent composition, ... you're ahead of a lot of folks.

In my classes they are. Some still choose to roll the dice and hope I won't notice that what they're submitting...
a - Sounds like something written by someone with much more than a high school education,
b - Sounds exactly like what their best friend submitted, and/or
c - Is in a different font/typeface than the rest of their assignment.
 
The only thing more stupid than plagiarizing is plagiarizing stupidly.

In my classes they are. Some still choose to roll the dice and hope I won't notice that what they're submitting...
a - Sounds like something written by someone with much more than a high school education,
b - Sounds exactly like what their best friend submitted, and/or
c - Is in a different font/typeface than the rest of their assignment.
 
The only thing more stupid than plagiarizing is plagiarizing stupidly.

Relish on a salad? Absurd! Everyone knows it was made for the frankfurter.

Who has the Pooper Scooper in his hands?

You mean this?
 

 
 
Or this?
 

"I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day, because that means it's going to be up all night." -Stephen Wright

Poetry This Morning


Foot is asleep,
Foot is asleep,
Ow ow ow,
Foot is asleep.
 
Foot is asleep,
Foot is asleep,
Quit sitting cross-legged like that you imbecile,
Foot is asleep.
 

I poured root beer into a square cup. Now it's just beer.