Egyptoid Posted December 14, 2008 Report Share Posted December 14, 2008 Half-Breed Love Songs : a thread for posting the love-songs that memorialize the origins of the half-orc, the pixie fairy, the gnome-titan, tieflings, etc. So, a sorceress goes into a bar on the frontier, orders herself a flagon, and.... This was never the way I planned Not my intention. I got so brave, mead in hand Lost my discretion It's not what I'm used to Just wanna try you on I'm curious, for you, Caught my attention I kissed an Ork, And I liked it the taste of beefsteak on the tusks I kissed an Ork, Just to try it I hope the paladin don't mind it It felt so wrong, It felt so right, peeling off his chainmail late that night I kissed an Ork, And I liked it the smell of ale in his mustache No, I don't even know your clan It doesn't matter You are stronger than a man Sub-human nature Not what lawful girls do Not how they should behave My head gets so confused Hard to obey I kissed an Ork, And I liked it the smell of ale in his mustache I kissed an Ork, Just to try it I hope the paladin don't mind it It felt so wrong, It felt so right dropped the weapons late that night I kissed an Ork; And I liked it Humanoids are so magical Strong hands, red eyes, so damn virile Hard to resist, bear-huggable Too good to deny it Ain't no big deal it's innocent I kissed an Ork - And I liked it the hint of bloodshed in his eyes I kissed an Ork; Just to try it maybe the cleric can just fix it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Jogger Posted December 14, 2008 Report Share Posted December 14, 2008 Re: Half-Breed Love songs (with apologies to Oingo Bongo for parodying Little Girls) A large titan explains... I love little gnomes they make me feel so good I love little gnomes they make me feel so bad When they're around they make me feel Like I'm the only guy in town I love little gnomes they make me feel so good They don't care if I'm mentally inferior They're not frightened by my huge exterior They don't tell me to go away They don't want to scold me They don't mind my big club They just want to hold me Isn't this fun Isn't this what titan's all about Isn't this a curse come true Isn't this a blessing too (repeat first verse) They dont care about my size category They're not frightened by my bedtime story Uh oh take a second take Uh oh it's a mistake Uh oh I'm in trouble Uh oh the little gnome was just too little Too little, too little, too little Isn't this what titans all about Isn't this a curse come true Isn't this a blessing too . . . And I dont care what people say And I dont care what people think And I dont care how we look walking down the street (repeat chorus) (repeat first verse) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manic Typist Posted December 16, 2008 Report Share Posted December 16, 2008 Re: Half-Breed Love songs God help you, because I won't. (And rep if it'll let me...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted December 17, 2008 Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 Re: Half-Breed Love songs You ain't nothing but a half-orc, just snarling all the time. You ain't nothing but a half-orc, just snarling all the time. You ain't never killed a kobold And you ain't no friend of mine. When you said you were a noble, well, that was just a lie. When you said you were a noble, well, that was just a lie. You ain't never killed a kobold And you ain't no friend of mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted December 17, 2008 Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 Re: Half-Breed Love songs Baby, let me be Your lovin' bugbear. Put a sword into my neck, And hack me anywhere Oh, let me be your bugbear. I don't wanna be your ogre, 'Cause ogres play too rough. I don't wanna be your goblin, 'Cause goblins ain't the kind you Love enough Just wanna be Your bugbear. Put a sword into my neck, And hack me anywhere Oh let me be your bugbear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted December 17, 2008 Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 Re: Half-Breed Love songs An Elf Male confesses his preference for human women I like Round Ears and I can not lie and you other elves can't deny when a human lass with a non pointed eared face pulls at a hair that's out of place you get URGES You want to get out and mate because you just know round rims taste great Adorned with those earrings she's wearing She's only good for a few years but I've stopped caring Oh human, I wanna be with you we can have ourselves Half Elf issue My Alfar friends all say it just won't work but just looking at your ears makes my extra sword quirk Oh round and smooth to touch You say you like my bow so much? Feel free to use my mess, feel to try my best cause you ain't the average fay princess I've seen you fighting or as a caster moonlighting She's got mass, she's a round eared lass She sells it well no matter what the class I'm tired of Elvish sonnets telling me to go after other elves dogonnit Take your average elf brother and he will secretly say It drives him wild when a round eared woman sways So Elven Fellows. (Yay!) Fellows (yay!) has your girlfriend got round ears? (Verily Yay!) Tell them to stroke em, show em show those sexy ears... Yon babe's got round ears! Yon babe's got round ears! So your elf maid rides a unicorn, and has since she was born But her unicorn and she are so damn norm My spear isn't willing to rise unless you've got round ears behind human eyes You can wear helms or wizard hats But please don't point those ears Some elves may want to be a jerk and tell you humans and elves just won't work So they ride off and leave you without a touch but I'm on the way so please don't you age too fast too much So some fey folk call you mortal? Well all that does is make me chortle Cause I like an race with meat and curves And your romantic adventuring needs I'd like to serve To the beanpole elven maidens fair For me you don't do a thing A bawdy human wench I can't resist She doesn't look like I could wrap her waist with just one fist Some blackguard paid me no respect and his women he did neglect He acted the ogre with the women in his power so I broke em out of his tower So ladies, if your ears are round And you want elven loving in this town Scry me a line, or send me a sign and we'll share a glass of elven wine I'll start with your ears you can start with mine Babe's got round ears (Gonna die real soon in just a few years, but I don't care if she's got round ears) (Gonna die real soon in just a few years, but I don't care if she's got round ears) (Gonna die real soon in just a few years, but I don't care if she's got round ears) (Gonna die real soon in just a few years, but I don't care if she's got round ears) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrix3 Posted December 17, 2008 Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 Re: Half-Breed Love songs Ha! That is great, Hermit! EDIT: Ah, I can't rep you. Can someone get him for me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted December 17, 2008 Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 Re: Half-Breed Love songs Ha! That is great, Hermit! EDIT: Ah, I can't rep you. Can someone get him for me? Glad you liked it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowcat1313 Posted December 20, 2008 Report Share Posted December 20, 2008 Re: Half-Breed Love songs if I go digging deep enough... I think I have the lyrics for Brown Eyed Ghoul from an ancient Dragon issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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