Ragitsu

Seventy-six containers in the closed g bag. Seventy-six containers in the second closed g bag. Seventy-nine containers in the open g bag.

I dreamt that I was Merlin. More accurately: I was myself - this body - but with Merlin's soul/mind inhabiting the seat of consciousness. We were this gestalt (my knowledge of the present combined with his magical prowess). Although he knew more about contemporary times than he would have had he been instantly transported to the here and now, there were some...interesting gaps in his knowledge. Anyhow, I started the dream in these spacious castle chambers. Apparently, the castle was either a structure imported from Europe OR a highly convincing recreation presumably constructed with modern materials. Either way, it was located in a rather extensive theme park (the medieval/Middle Ages portion being a full-sized attraction unto itself); however, the section I was in happened to be out of commission (closed for renovation?). If I had to guess, I (myself, as this otherwise mundane performer?) was hired by the park owner (unaware that I had the actual essence of Merlin) and allowed to live on the premises until it was open for business. Within the chambers was an assortment of clothes (although - curiously - entirely contemporary). There were also three men that would hang at a table near an open window; in retrospect, they were likely park employees of some sort (other performers? Actors? Medieval experts?). Soon enough, the Merlin part of this mental union wanted to find the king as soon as possible. Yeah...for whatever reason, he thought we were still in the old times. Dissatisfied with my current apparel, he went through the available clothes before settling on black sweatpants, a black hoodie (the closest analog to a robe with cowl he might have worn?) and one black (winter) glove. Strangely, he was okay with the white tennis shoes I was currently wearing. The men seemed to approve of his new look, so, with that, we exited the chambers in search of the monarch. Unable to turn up anything, we left the castle in hopes of finding something that could point us in the right direction (at this point, Merlin was at the wheel and drawing from some - but not all - of my experience). We eventually found ourselves in a information/"help" center on the property. Merlin!Me asked a fetching young lass with short black hair if she could direct him to the "royal court"; she must have thought he was either joking or crazy, because she chuckled and turned to assist someone else. Only briefly nonplussed, Merlin!Me began to look around the center until he found some bulletin with an advertisement for one of the many roles in the park. Satisfied he found something to get him moving again, he passed by the counter and thanked the lady for putting up with his trouble; with a flick of his right hand, he produced a flower from thin air and left it directly in front of her before departing. Other women - fellow coworkers - loudly remarked "Oh, he's a magician!" and "It's a carnation." (to me, it looked like a generic white flower) as he stepped outside. As we wandered the grounds, we came across a water attraction where people were riding these blue and white dragon boats on artificially produced rapids. While passing by, a bit of caprice struck the mage and so he animated the boats in order to enhance their amusement. That's right: the visitors were soon riding actual living dragons that flew several feet above the water's surface. Random tidbit: these dragons were serpentine...like an Oriental variety. Right after this, I awoke from my slumber.

<Not to be mistaken for the other Brian Cox.>

Frank, I need a Noah's boy in a blanket, two hen fruit wrecked on a shingle with a mystery in the alley, a warm Eve with a moldy lid and two checkerboards, alright? Oh yeah, hold the pig.

One need only look at the ruleset (rules inform difficulty and difficulty influences the final experience), the graphics, the voice acting (specifically, the style), the writing (in particular, this developer's brand of humor) and the zeitgeist (i.e., going with the flow instead of trying to craft the game so that it evokes the atmosphere of another age) to realize that their attempt is clearly not faithful to the series. Plus - and I'll keep harping on about this - they couldn't even swing a day/night cycle.

There's a time and place for sensitivity; if someone is trying to KILL YOU, then any and all insults are fair game.

--- --- --- That reminds me of "Cherokee" from GURPS.

"I never thought it possible to have one's head in the sand and up their ass simultaneously, but you've managed quite a feat."

You do realize that alternative universes may be entirely different, right? Maybe in another universe during ancient history the Roman Empire never fell and The United States were colonized by the Italians or the UK (instead of Germany) had a brief stint of Nazism. Perhaps Africa became the United States of Africa while North America was broken up into pieces and exploited for resources, experiencing apartheid, et cetera, et cetera. There's nothing inherently exploratory in Americans by default...and based on the fact that less than a third have passports, I'm not sure where you got that idea.

Humanity does nothing but stave off/modify/conquer nature through the majority of its actions; sometimes we succeed and sometimes we fail, but we don't appear to be throwing in the towel any time soon. Clothes? Warding off the elements. Structures? Ditto, but writ large. Artificially generated electricity? Heating, cooling, food preservation, powering all that lovely information technology...the uses are endless. Plumbing? We don't solely reside adjacent to entirely natural water sources. Weapons? The aforementioned (homo sapiens) murder was mentioned, but a spear or rifle is also handy for fending off beasts. Medicine? A continuous struggle against microorganisms, our very own biology and plain old external misfortune. If there is even a hint of a possibility of deliberate and precise weather modification tech on the horizon, you can bet your bottom dollar that we'll chase that to the ends of the Earth.

Does anyone else here find it pathetic that our species has yet to devise an all-encompassing rapid-response fire suppression technology capable of dousing these wildfires in an extremely short timeframe? As residents of this biosphere, we are keenly aware of ecological disasters (natural as well as anthropogenic) and yet we seem to pour more effort into methods of murder than ways of safeguarding ourselves from the attendant hazards of the only habitable region in this universe.

ab·ste·mi·ous /abˈstēmēəs/ adjective adjective: abstemious not self-indulgent, especially when eating and drinking. "“We only had a bottle.” “Very abstemious of you.”"

I wouldn't want specific strong regional United States accents showing up in quasi-Medieval European fantasy. That means there will be no Californian voice actors (so, no surfer dudes/valley girls), Southern accents in general and no Upper-East Coast (e.g., New York accented) speakers. A flat Midwestern accent may work. As I am well-acquainted with the Gargoyles animated series, I'd pick Keith David if I absolutely had to choose a US voice actor; the man possesses a rich baritone that works in a fantasy context. Dorian Harewood is also a prime pick. Daniel Davis is one of those rare US actors that can pull off an English accent, but I'm sticking with genre-acceptable United States accents "as is".