BlueCloud2k2

I dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, pursued by a ravenous pack of wolves.

A high school teacher was arrested today at Sydney’s Kingsford-Smith International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. 
 
At the press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious extremist Al-Gebra movement.
 
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the AFP with carrying weapons of math instruction. 
 
'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns;" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. 
 
As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are three sides to every triangle."
 
When asked to comment on the arrest, PM Tony Abbott said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." 
Fellow LNP colleagues told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the Prime Minister Abbott

I grew up in a theme park, and the theme was 'trailer.'

Dang! Sniped!
 
 
Fed Ex. Santa gets free shipping since he provides the NSA with copies of his Naughty/Nice List

ATT: death tribble
 
http://www.nerdacy.com/2014/10/14/gillian-anderson-really-wants-to-be-in-the-new-ghostbusters-movie/

With my luck? A Present Bazooka.

"What is a 'reboot disc', and why did it come to me instead of Tony Stark?"
 
(Too soon? )

Now that I'm an adult, I actually now appreciate socks for Christmas, naps, and liver.

I just got an idea for my next Champions character....  

"Dear Santa,
 
Please send me students who truly understand the value of reproducible results.
 
I've been ever so good this year and haven't detonated a single one of them. Well, there was that one little accident, but that can't be held against me.
 
Yours,
 
Cancer."

"Eighteen minutes of action, crammed into three hours of boredom." That's how my dad describes baseball.
 
And as far as basketball goes, Dad once told a pollster, "If the NBA All-Stars were playing in my back yard, I wouldn't turn on the porch light to watch them."

This sounds familiar for some reason...

I verbalize the expression "You f***ing moron" a lot when I grade exams.

The other night I dreamed that my cousin and I were guests on Conan O'Brien's show. After chatting for a bit, it was time for our musical number. So my cousin and I stood up and started singing. Conan was accompanying on the guitar.
 
I told my sister about it. She thinks it's an awesome dream.

"So what is Groot, anyway?"
 
"He is Groot."
 
"Yes, but what is he supposed to be?"
 
"He is Groot."
 
"Very funny."

Death Tribble invented a tasteless, odorless poison that does double damage against Sicilians even when death is on the line

Have you never heard of Encyclopedia Brown?

BC flings Tonka toys with his mini-trebuchet. The cat is not amused.

Pssst. Hastur. Pass it on.

These 30 Inventions Seem Fake But Are Totally REAL.
http://boredomtherapy.com/amazing-real-inventions/

Yes, I have a Mini-Me
 
The world shall fear!

Actually, I'm surprised nobody clued into this muse in response to my pun:
 

Woah...this thread finally overtook Longest Running Thread Ever. 
 
 
WE ARE #1

A couple of weeks ago my son wanted to sit with us during our DnD Game, and was having fun playing with his Godmother's dice tower. I decided to make him one, and finally finished it last night. He loves it
 
Gotta get him started early

Student loans are officially paid off. W00t!