Old Man

What's cool about this thread is I don't even have to check the recent posts to it before posting myself. It's vBulletin-proof!

What's cool about this thread is I don't even have to check the recent posts to it before posting myself. It's vBulletin-proof!

Empire from the Ashes. Compilation of David Weber's Armageddon Inheritance trilogy.
 
I enjoyed it quite a bit.
 
It put me into a "want to read more sci-fi" mood.
 
Thinking about Game of Thrones is bad for me because I'm waiting waiting waiting for the next book. Finish writing it you evil bastard!!!

Re: What Are You Listening To Right Now?
 
The washing machine filling up. How peaceful...

Re: A Thread for Random Musings
 
During a high school class, a teacher was trying to teach good manners.
 
The teacher asks the students: "Michael, if you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
 
"Just a minute, I have to go piss."
 
" That would be rude and impolite!!! What about you John, how would you say it?"
 
" I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."
 
" That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the table. And you Peter, are you able to use your intelligence for once and show us your good manners?"
 
" I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment, I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after supper."

Re: A Thread for Random Musings
 
You think you're special. You do. I can see it in your eyes. I can see it when you laugh at me, look down on me, and walk around on me.

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 
Of course it is. All you have to do is become a father.

Re: The cranky thread
 
In that case, start a small campfire in your work area. It will warm you up and simultaneously call attention to the problem.

Re: The cranky thread
 
Die in writhing agony, DT!
 
 
Just kidding. Get better; back injuries suck.

Re: The cranky thread
 
Yeah, Von D, do a mass mailing!

Re: A Thread for Random Musings
 
"So there are artists who surprise me, but there are none who shock me, and that's because shock is dead. In the seventies I used to cut my head off with a guillotine on stage and people would ooh and aah, it was so extreme. Today you can turn on the TV and see a terrorist with a knife do it for real. When the nightly news is more bizarre than Alice Cooper's imagination, shock is dead." --Alice Cooper

Re: A Thread for Random Musings
 
"So there are artists who surprise me, but there are none who shock me, and that's because shock is dead. In the seventies I used to cut my head off with a guillotine on stage and people would ooh and aah, it was so extreme. Today you can turn on the TV and see a terrorist with a knife do it for real. When the nightly news is more bizarre than Alice Cooper's imagination, shock is dead." --Alice Cooper

Re: Storn's Art & Characters thread.
 

 
As they would say on FIREFLY ... Shiney!
 
PDS

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 

I work for Manpower, at the local Proctor and Gamble, doing quality testing on diapers.
 
And NO I DON'T PEE IN THEM.

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
 
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
 
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
 
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
 
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
 
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
 
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
 
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
 
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
 
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
 
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
 
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
 
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

Re: The cranky thread
 
Damn, that means I'll no longer be able to go to bed with your wife five times a week..
 

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 

 
 
Or a sad little japanophile.

Re: The cranky thread
 
And that you will then have the exact opposite problem.

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 
What am I, a lab rat?

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 

 
At first I took this to mean Cancer was grouchy and impersonable. Then I realized it has something to do with making coffee out of beans that have passed through one's GI tract. Does that require a special kind of coffee maker?

Re: Longest Running Thread EVER
 

Re: Musings on Random Musings
 
One advantage of root beer is that it goes so well with ice cream. Do people put ice cream in beer? No. And well they should not, for the Force is my ally, and a powerful ally it is. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. It knows when sleeping you are, and also when awake you happen to be.