Roter Baron

The Federal Republic of Canceria rebukes the demand that it needs a national anthem.
On the National Holiday (1st of April) all Canceristas are instead required by law to push the flush, exactly at 1.13 pm.
 
This is officially referred to as "The Ode to Stool" and shall reminded every citizens what a shitty place Canceria really is.
Yes, Canceristas have a very low self esteem and are quite depressive but still proud of their country.
 
And even if not the huge wall around the border, ditches full of snakes and crocodiles and anti-plane rocket systems keep them inside.
Hey, it is a shitty place after all!

Just remember: Roter Baron likes his bratwurst to be made from real brats. None of these spoiled but mild-mannered little snots that soccer moms produce.

I watch no TV, effectively.

Roter Baron set the record for being kicked out of or banned from the most communes in a month for pillaging and burning.
 
Of course, no one will ever beat his record since there were no survivors.
 
Yes, ladies and gentlmen, the Peace Movement died thanks to our very own Roter Baron!

Was listening to a Scottish comedian Kevin Bridges was saying that "we don't need tougher sentences, we need more consistent sentences." 
 
he said, Murder is life without parole, but attempted murder is 6 years. "You still tried to kill the guy! We're giving you a benefit for being crap at your job!"

I just finished reading other comment's by family's of criminals who got shot "on the job" complaining about the perp being shot (fatally or otherwise) while not even thinking of the wrongdoing that lead to the shooting (and sometimes killing) of their family member.
 
The audacity and stupidity makes me want to ... (no I am not writing that).
 
BTW, just for notice:
Being German and Germany being country were it is very hard to own a gun leagally and were everybody is runnung his mouth against the US right to bear arms and being not liberal but on the FAR LEFT I just want to say that I find nothing bad about upstanding citizens having the right to defend themself.
I have a problem with a certain "cult" about that right.
I do think that the guy on the above website who carries a Carl Gustav anti-tank-weapon openly in a street in Kansas (most likely to comically "out-do" the Teaxans on their "Open Carry"-Day) went overboard.
And I fully subscribe to the viewpoint of the bearingarms-guy that people who joke playfully around with live weapons should be punished severely (one of the first things they teach you at the Bundeswehr: Don't play with the gun. Don't even shoot at the sergeant - makes him sad and unwanted.).
 
But if you are a upright, responsible citizen with no criminal record and you feel the need to be armed (and most people don't carry guns around to feel cool, they feel un-protected - which IS THE PROBLEM that needs to be addressed in the fisrt place), you should have the right to own and carry a gun.
 
End of rant.
No intention to hijack the thread.
Just felt the need to make that statement.
Really the end now.
 
I swear.

I just finished reading other comment's by family's of criminals who got shot "on the job" complaining about the perp being shot (fatally or otherwise) while not even thinking of the wrongdoing that lead to the shooting (and sometimes killing) of their family member.
 
The audacity and stupidity makes me want to ... (no I am not writing that).
 
BTW, just for notice:
Being German and Germany being country were it is very hard to own a gun leagally and were everybody is runnung his mouth against the US right to bear arms and being not liberal but on the FAR LEFT I just want to say that I find nothing bad about upstanding citizens having the right to defend themself.
I have a problem with a certain "cult" about that right.
I do think that the guy on the above website who carries a Carl Gustav anti-tank-weapon openly in a street in Kansas (most likely to comically "out-do" the Teaxans on their "Open Carry"-Day) went overboard.
And I fully subscribe to the viewpoint of the bearingarms-guy that people who joke playfully around with live weapons should be punished severely (one of the first things they teach you at the Bundeswehr: Don't play with the gun. Don't even shoot at the sergeant - makes him sad and unwanted.).
 
But if you are a upright, responsible citizen with no criminal record and you feel the need to be armed (and most people don't carry guns around to feel cool, they feel un-protected - which IS THE PROBLEM that needs to be addressed in the fisrt place), you should have the right to own and carry a gun.
 
End of rant.
No intention to hijack the thread.
Just felt the need to make that statement.
Really the end now.
 
I swear.

Following the finest of Mook traditions! *salutes*

At least I grew up.
 
So did BlueCloud2k2. Kinda. He is now BIG Red Riding Hood and has a Wine & Cake Delivery Service.
If he is 30 minutes late you don't have to pay, but it usually also means that you don't get your order because he was (again) swallowed by the Wolf.

BlueCloud2k2 tries to sabotage the Easter Bunny's effort every single year.
And every single year he fails miserably.
Still, hats off to his pig-headed stuborness (even if Wile. E. Coyote has had a better success rate against Roadrunner than BC against that Bunny).

Death Tribble is the biggest cockroach rancher south of Leicester.
That's right.
With three roaches to his name.
 
Firstly, there ain't so many roach farmers in the UK to beginn with, and most are more in the North towards Scotland. The Outer Hebrides have some first-class roach breeders as far as I have heard.
Sesondly, I did not say that his ranch is big, but that he is big.
 
You should really watch the munching, old boy, with summer coming and the beach season approaching.
 
We don't need last year's "stranded whale"-bullshit this year again - the children were all crying their eyes out!

Yeah, but he luring that innocent young thing into the clutches of that underoiled, inadequately running, sub-lubricated half-metal cyber-fiend with sweet words and even sweeter candy?
 
Cancer, that's who! He and his International Agency for White-Slaving of the Innocent Inc.
 
Well, at least he is pretty open and honest about his purposes and aims ...

RB wears Ray Bans sunglasses. This si why he looks so cool at school. 

Der Roter Baron can clear a bar or a public square in 30 seconds flat by asking out loud 'Who wants to oil my body ?'. Inevitablely there are people who get trampled etc but the police seem to think it is a price worth paying for peace and quiet.

What RB misunderstands is that my wife smacked me silly for not thinking of it sooner.
 
RB seems to misunderstand a lot of things. I think it was because his wife ate half of his brains.
 
I told him not to marry a zombie stripper but did he listen? Nooo......

Roter Baron holds "Kommen Sie Cthulhu" rallies twice a month at the megalithic tomb site at Harhoog. He gets more girls coming there than at Rügen, despite a free moonlight ferry ride, which puzzles him mightily.

If I had to describe myself in just one word, I think it would be, "Not good at following directions".

Death Tribble invented Black Death, Blue Smurfs and Green Sleeves. But the last has turned out to be all my joy, delight and heart of gold ...
Yes, I am a romantic hun. Sue me!

Bazza gained weight over the weekend and now IS A COUNTRY! With a brand-new anthem,too:
"Holy Bazzania, thy thighs are round as thy behind is wide and streches from sea to shining sea!
Oh, how we love thee, Bazzania, Mother of Ham and Father of Beer
Where the syrup runs high and we feel only fear
When you go to all-you-can-eat and we stand near to thee!"
 
There is no president in Bazzania, only a Mighty Big 'un.

Bazza gained weight over the weekend and now IS A COUNTRY! With a brand-new anthem,too:
"Holy Bazzania, thy thighs are round as thy behind is wide and streches from sea to shining sea!
Oh, how we love thee, Bazzania, Mother of Ham and Father of Beer
Where the syrup runs high and we feel only fear
When you go to all-you-can-eat and we stand near to thee!"
 
There is no president in Bazzania, only a Mighty Big 'un.

BlueCloud2k2 armwrestled King Kong and Godzilla at the same time and won! While he was doing that he beat Mothra at chess.
 
While first competition earned him the recognition as a super-macho man in the International Ultra League of Monster Arm-Wrestling He-Men, his winning at chess against a giant moth and boasting about it gave him a reputation as an über-douche amongst the Chessplayers International Union of Frankensteiners and other Monsters Inc.

Roter Baron used to be Rotor Baron, until he got stuck with his fingers in the propeller. Now he lacks both rotor and fingers, but boy is he red!

Bazza is a Half-hydra. His mother was a Hydra, his father a card-holding member of the National Party and a Cyclops, an immigrant from Greece - his hydra-mother is Aborigine from the Northern Territory.
 
Thus Bazzas real and full name is Byron Windradyne Bazzadoupoulos.
 
The good thing about being a hydra-cyclops-hybrid is that while Bazza has only one eye in his head (and thus lacking depth vision) he can make up for it because he has nine heads!

You dig 16 tons and what do you get ? Mocking laughter from De Roter Baron as he would say 'is that all you can do ?'