Drhoz

Pathfinder: The Mummy's Mask : Moist Zenobia: Do the psychopomps seem annoyed about us nearly accidentally killing them in that fight? Nemat: They don’t have faces, it’s not easy to tell. Zenobia: They have middle fingers. Hopefully we won’t run into these particular psychopomps when we eventually die - that could be awkward. Nemat: You have to feel sorry for Anubis now that Pharasma is the god of death. She probably calls him ‘Noob’. Onka: ‘Please, you’re a goddess, act like one’ Nemat: ‘Aw, does someone want a bellyrub?’ Nemat: The whole point of these boats is to do a non-linear dungeon in a linear fashion. GM: You paid to get railroaded. The GM describes an apparently innocuous room. Asrian OoC: I detect a ‘but’ coming up. GM: A big but. Zenobia OoC: And I cannot lie. It is, of course, set up as an elaborate trap. Which we can avoid by going through the wall. It turns out the chamber beyond is yet another memorial to somebody who tried to stage a coup against Hakotep - two brothers who only failed because they got too distracted arguing about which of them should be crowned afterwards. We’re supposed to decide who deserved it - which is obviously another trap. Of course, the entire level is a trap - most parties would have entered this crypt first, and thus faced the banshee etc a few experience levels earlier. And our precautions would have made us immune to this trap anyway. The boats split us up, going down different tunnels. GM: You’ve got time- Zenobia: For a quick snog? Asrian: Now is not the time, dear. There’s a few statues with gems inside their fanged maws. Zenobia: It’s like they never heard of Mage Hand. Or, for that matter, Immovable Rods. Or maybe they did, because it’s another Phantom Trap. Although given the grinding noises elsewhere in the crypt, they appear to control SOMETHING down here. Possibly opening the door for a giant undead crocodile, or similar. But then we can use Control Water to drain the entire next section of the crypt. Nemat: Never fight on their terms. Onka: ‘That undead shark looks very unhappy. And we’re flying over it anyway.’ The thing that IS in here looks a bit perturbed that we removed all its advantages. We’re more shocked that Nemat doesn’t recognise whatever it is. Onka recognises it as a kind of aquatic Div. Onka: It’s a Div - where’s Asri- oh, she’s attacking it already. Asrian really, really does not like Divs. Nemat: We don’t need to fight him - he’s going to suffocate. And if he’s Bound to the room, he can’t even flee to where there IS water. In the end it doesn’t matter - Nemat Dismisses it back to its home plane before Asrian can decapitate it, or Zenobia throw a Tangleburn Bag at it. We do the usual - sabotage the control pyramid and crash the rest of Hakotep’s flying pyramid fleet, and bug out. It's time to go after the Forgotten Pharoah, Hakotep I, himself.

Champions : Return to Edge City : The Landscaper Caper Last session we prevented the kidnapping of an oddly-fireproof landscape gardener. Flux: We’ll keep an eye on her, in case there are shenanigans. Hero Shrew: No shenanigans in this town. Unless we’re responsible. Of course, we blunder into so many shenanigans it’s amazing we’re not in a Pokemon episode. Although that idea does have us complaining about the completely insane economy in the Pokemon universe, and the question of where they get their meat from. It’s from Pokemon. GM: Farfetch’d carries his own garnish, for crying out loud. The cybernetically enhanced canines are about 18 months old, but despite being intelligent enough to talk probably aren’t Steiner’s work - the upgrades are too crude. Hardlight: You rescued Landscaper? Funny name for a superhero. Fireflash: No, an actual landscaper. Hardlight: Why were you rescuing a landscaper? Flux: Why wouldn’t we, they’re worth rescuing. Hardlight: Indeed, it’s not like she was a lawyer. Fireflash: ….. Or an accountant? Flux: Hey, accountants are worth rescuing, they know where all the money is… I know she’s giving me A Look, I can hear it. Oddly enough, the cars that the bad guys were stacking were stacked very nearly indeed. Minimal damage, which is impressive for somebody wearing powered armour. Most of the cars in the pile are shiny and new. It's also impressive that he managed to lift an older car that was notorious for outweighing a lot of trucks. That was no standard powered suit. Flux: I’m surprised the other cars aren’t flat. GM: Oh, it was on the bottom of the stack. Flux: Well thank god for that. In fact, Hardlight’s scan of the pile reveals that the Grubecker has been heavily modified, and is even HEAVIER than it was originally. Checking with the police reveals that the vehicle was once involved in a super fight, and had its density permanently altered, and was reinforced further afterwards. Whoever owns it owns a piece of superhero history, but also must have an appalling petrol bill. Whoever was wearing that Rumblesuit has strength that rivals superhumans. And one of them was apparently using plasma technology when they set the landscaper’s apartment on fire. And their armour is a sophisticated ceramic. Hero Shrew: We can always ask our contacts in Dysprosium Dawn if they know who’s working on technology like this. GM: It always amuses me when you think you have a good relationship with Dysprosium Dawn. Fireflash OoC: We don’t. Flux OoC: We just shake them down for information sometimes. GM: Or they decide it’s easier to get us to do the hard work. We should probably have a look in the empty house across the street, where the cyberdogs came from. Apparently they dug their way up from an underground utility tunnel, and spent a few days watching the landscaper’s home and planning the kidnapping. There’s definitely something they knew about the landscaper that they know and we don’t. We should go keep an eye on her, at least while she’s being kept for observation at the hospital. The veterinary cybernetics angle is also worth investigating - some of the upgrades to those cyberpuppies, like the hemoglobin and retinal variants, are very new. Fireflash: We should visit them, as a group. Hero Shrew: Oh? Flux: Must... resist… spaying and neutering joke… GM: To be fair, it’s not thinking with that head that gets him in trouble. Finding out who the cyberpuppies originally belonged to is more difficult - their microchips were removed, probably at the same time they had a bunch more added. Although six Dobermans going missing should have come to somebody’s notice. GM: You attract some attention at the Laguna Complex, probably because you’re a pretty well-known superteam now, and you’re with that new guy. The Magus: I have a sudden urge to show up with a different face every week. Flux: Don’t, or you won’t get into our base. GM: Facial recognition tech makes no sense in a setting with shapechangers. The vet agrees that the six dogs should have been chipped - it’s certainly a legal requirement in California - but if they’re going to sic them on a team of superheroes to cover their escape it’s unlikely the perps were very concerned about chipping laws. And the address is a fake. On the other hand, the vet has done the same modifications to a pair of pitbulls, for the same people, and we didn’t see any pitbulls earlier. Hero Shrew: Well, at least we have something in our favour - they don’t let dogs into hospitals. Hardlight: Remind me to get a sticker for Scooter - ‘Emotional Support Moreau’ Flux: That is unimaginably racist. Hero Shrew: And I’m not good for anybody’s emotions! Tracking down where the perps got the money for the operations is going to take longer. We do get one address and name in Marsden, which we connect to one Rumble, who we last heard of during the thing between the Booster and Juicer gangs. This latest escapade DOES seem like something he’d get involved in. He certainly loves his cybernetics, as his police record confirms. On the other hand, nobody has seen him since the Juicer exodus. New Occupant: You think he might still be alive? That B**tard owes me $500! Fireflash: If we find him, we’ll be sure to let him know. The creditor in question lets us search the house for any items we can use to track him down - old hair brushes etc have been thrown out, unfortunately, but we DO find a small package stashed in an air vent, containing an earlier FreeWeb device and memory chips. But Flux can confirm the device never connected to a network, ever. And the chips are encrypted. It’s probably a bad idea for Scooter to hang around the hospital - as the others keep telling him, he’s the most conspicuous member of the team, at least since Allana eft, and Allana at least had two major distractions. Hero Shrew:*sigh*I just want to be useful. Flux and the Magus working together to create a tracking spell to locate Rumble will probably be more useful - they certainly have an ample supply of crystallised chicken blood. Hero Shrew is driving the mages around town as we try to triangulate on a moving target, when a woman jumps out of an upstairs window. She’s probably just as surprised when we all pile out of the Qruiser. But not as much as those power-armoured goons that emerge after her. At least that makes it more likely that Rumble is one of the goons we’re after. The other two, apparently, are codenamed Pillage and Takedown. The former has a deadly plasma field, and the later an assortment of entangling and stunning weaponry, at the very least. The usual exchange-of-multicoloured-light-until-somebody-wins ensues. One of the Magus’ spells is apparently called Sugar Crash, and is as dangerous as it implies, and would be better described as Hypogylcemic Shock. Scooter leaps into the fray, and overshoots so badly he gets intercepted mid-air by Rumble. Hero Shrew OoC: I hesitate to compare him to a Patriot missile. Hero Shrew gets punched most of the way back up to the Qruiser. And then the woman that’s the focus of all this attention throws Scooter straight back into the fray. Scooter is rather shocked to find himself neatly placed right in the middle of the street. Fireflash: Yeet! GM: This ability is called Get Back In There! Hero Shrew: So, this one is called Takedown? Nice that he comes with instructions.*leaps into the air and suplexes the guy several yards into the pavement* Rumble does some swift calculations of his new odds, especially since his other colleague is semiconscious with his plasma sheath burning a hole in the ground, and surrenders. Rumble: I give.*lands on roof, which collapses under the weight of his armour* Hero Shrew: You owe your old flatmate $500. The woman, Tanya, insists she’s fine, despite the fact she jumped from a second-storey window, and claims to have no idea why the goons tried to kidnap her, less than a day after they tried to kidnap the other woman. The Magus: I can’t fault their work ethic Fireflash: Why are you after this woman? Rumble: Takedown said to. All:*look at the crater with unconscious goon* Flux: Is that your house, or are you going to have problems? Tanya: It will be fine, I have understanding with landlord - he does not cause me trouble, I do not crush his head like swallow’s egg. The Magus: Do you want me to wake him up, now we have him out of his armour? Hero Shrew: And if we need to we’ll put him back in the armour and I’ll suplex him again. GM: That would be against police procedures. Cyberkinetically interrogating their brain implants is legally dubious too - but nothing stops Flux ransacking their powersuits for useful information. Which helpfully includes files on their two targets - the landscaper, apparently, is a minor hydrokineticist. And Tanya apparently has high-end low-profile military cybernetics. The files also list Tanya as being of possible interest to The Cabal, but doesn’t say which group calling itself a cabal that refers to. But according to Rumble, the Cabal supplied the powersuits, tailored to their proportions. They’d even told Takedown that they’d need somebody like Rumble to do the job. Flux realises that the Cabal must be a new faction in Dysprosium Dawn. Flux:*sigh* We leave them alone after the zombie thing and they start making powersuits. GM: To be fair they weren’t responsible for the zombies - they were responsible for AUGMENTING the zombies. It also seems likely that the suits were specifically designed to counter our team - it's just their bad luck that we didn’t pair off the way they predicted we would. We might not be much closer to figuring out why these particular women were targeted, but we may have stopped an incipient supervillain group getting started.

Champions : Return To Edge City : Whacking Day Hardlight OoC: Why didn’t any of us get the Magus’ contact details? Hero Shrew OoC: We didn’t realise he was a PC Hero Shrew: Maybe we need to project the Magus-signal on some low clouds? GM: And what exactly is the Magus-Signal? Hero Shrew: A searchlight with a big ‘M’? A few days later the Shrew-Computer alerts us to break-ins at Saints Row and Peon Place, hangouts of two gangs we haven’t interacted with much. Hero Shrew: *surfaces from a pile of BugBurgr wrappers* H-wuh? Hardlight: To the Qruiser! He’s quite pleased that he gets to use the holographic lights and sirens on the Qruiser. Hardlight: Whee-OOOOwhee-OOOOwhee *etc* GM: I still have no idea how to involve the Magus in this. Flux OoC: Just pull the Coincidence Lever, he happened to be nearby. There are a bunch of likely bad guys, in distinctive green and gold armour. The Magus: It's like the Australian Cricket Team, gone bad. Hero Shrew: So, do these guys have to worry about Testicular Irradiation? Fireflash: No, they don’t use that shield technology anymore. The Magus: Not that they’ve been informed. ‘My nuts feel warm, do your nuts feel warm?’ VIPER technician: That’s our new Nutwarmer Technology, don’t worry about it. Hardlight: And some VIPER mad scientist is crowing about his plan to make sure all VIPER members have serpentine children, and how it’s finally complete. Fireflash: Actually, that DOES sound like something VIPER would do. Hero Shrew: If anybody happens to spot the vehicle they came in, let me know and I’ll flip it. Flux: How will we know it was their vehicle? Hero Shrew: It’ll be the one that’s advertising something snake-related on the side. Unfortunately they’re not the pushovers that VIPER agents used to be considered. They also have some rather effective weapons. Hero Shrew: How far could I throw that truck? The Magus: Don’t damage civilian vehicles., Hardlight: We might have police powers but we don’t have immunity to insurance companies. Flux: It will be difficult to claim it was reasonable damage if you pick it up and throw it. Scooter doesn’t end up throwing the truck, but Hardlight does end up unconscious underneath it anyway. Scooter has to jump across the street, into a position effectively surrounded by the bad guys. Hero Shrew: I would have to say this puts me in a bad place. Fireflash: Perhaps. Conversely, it’s put all of them into a bad place. One of the VIPER agents unwisely flies within arm’s length of the team brick. Hero Shrew: Well, let’s give him a big Hero Shrew welcome *punches out his teeth, and the rest of him across the street* Let’s hope VIPER membership includes good dental care. GM: It does. It’s one of the selling points - EXCELLENT medical plan. They’re also smart enough to know when to surrender, while the rest of the bad guys we didn’t know about make their escape. At least they didn’t get to use their hoverdiscs, since we stuck them to the ground with their own glue gun. It appears they were raiding the different gangs for advanced technology. At least we can have all the unconscious gang members arrested for possession of illegal tech. The VIPER agents also all have a cyber-implant we don’t recognise - one stamped with the VIPER logo, and that Flux determines acts as a fact-checker for your brain. Basically, a cybernetic Mental Defense. At least with the Magus and Flux working together, we can locate more of the implants - some over in a Dysprosium Dawn hangout, and some underneath a building in Billington. Dysprosium Dawn are a bit annoyed that VIPER have stolen their tech again, when Flux inquires. Time for a quick search warrant. Especially since VIPER are classed as a terrorist organisation. Happily, Flux can hide the entire team from cameras and other electronic surveillance. Fireflash: Magus, while I have a chance to ask, are you intending on staying in town? Magus: For a while, yes. Fireflash: In that case I’d like to extend an invitation to join the team. Magus: I’ll think about it. Hardlight: We just need you to fill in this paperwork. Fireflash: No no, we don’t have paperwork - registering with PRIMUS, on the other hand, THAT requires paperwork. Fireflash exercises one of her new abilities - Retrocognitive Photon Tracing - to try and see how the VIPER guys got into the target building. It doesn’t work, which is odd. The obvious access - stairs and elevators - and probably trapped, or at least more secure than the upstairs cameras that are studiously ignoring us. Hero Shrew: OK, just want to double-check before we go in - if they have armour I can hit them as far as I like? What if they don’t have armour, but do have powers? Fireflash: Hit them as hard as you like. But if they have guns, just smush the guns. Hero Shrew: Got it *cracks knuckles and grins happily* Hardlight: “Colt .45. Semi-automatic. Play-doh.” The Magus can teleport most of us in, although Hardlight will have to come down the stairs, since the Magus’ Door Of Shadows hurts him. Flux: It’s like going through a Resistor *shudders* They might not be able to see us on the cameras, but they might notice the secret door opening. And the fact that half the walls down here are transparent doesn’t help. Hero Shrew: They certainly like their open plan layout, don’t they? GM: This base is nicer than yours. Fireflash: I assume that warrant you got was a No Knock? The glass walls means we almost immediately come face-to-face with one of the armoured agents. He seems a bit surprised to see Scooter prowling down the corridor. At least glass walls won’t even slow Scooter down. The concrete ones don’t slow Flux down much either, as he blows out a wall to let Hardlight in. Fireflash: Those of us with police powers, remember to say as much before you smash someone. Hero Shrew: ON THE GROUND! THIS IS THE COPS! *Smashes two walls to pieces on way to the bad guys* Fireflash: REGISTERED SUPERS! SURRENDER OR BE OBLITERATED! *blinds a roomfull of mooks* Flux: At least I don’t have to admit I’m a cop now - I’d feel dirty. Hardlight: Surrender Villains! You are under arrest for suspicion of terrorism! Magus: Tremble before the generally adequate might of Hardlight. They surrender, but not before warning their superiors and self-destructing their SERPENTINE Network node. Flux: That’s a pity. GM: Nobody has ever managed to decrypt the SERPENTINE Network, but they still take the precaution of destroying compromised connections because of, well, people like you, Flux. Still, some of the equipment they had set up to produce those cybernetic implants wasn’t networked to SERPENTINE, so the specs they used to produce the hundreds they’ve made so far are still on the hardware. Hardlight: Hint hint, Flux, hint! Flux: I thought this was a crime scene and I shouldn’t start looting it. At least we’ve stopped every VIPER agent suddenly getting access to all kinds of cybernetic Addies. Flux: Can you imagine getting awesome snake powers? And not being able to do anything with them because everyone will assume you’re working for VIPER? We also find a big pile of stuff they’ve already stolen from Edge City’s gangs, including a bunch of old Iron Guard armour technology that Humanity First somehow got their hands on, in alarming quantity. Of course, it’s also entirely likely that the local VIPER cell leader in Edge City was never here, since he’s smart enough to trust his underlings to run their own sub-cells around the city. GM: I mean, look at this place, this is actually a nice place to work! Sudden good news! Two of the nodes are depowered, not actually wiped yet! If Flux is very careful, he might be able to get useful info off them before they self-destruct. It looks like VIPER had been reverse-engineering some advanced vehicles. It would certainly explain some of the stuff we’ll be auctioning off later. GM: There’s a handful of Cyberpaths on the same level as Menton is among Telepaths. Hero Shrew OOC: And they HAVEN’T been assassinated by the Ultron rip-off? The Magus OOC: One of them IS the Ultron rip-off. And the other is his crazy girlfriend. We should probably get some proper computer databases installed in our base. Hero Shrew: It won’t upset the mechanical owl, will it? Fireflash: Well, if it does he has ways to express it. Hero Shrew: It’s not like he’ll throw up in our beds. GM: Well, if he does, it’s probably indicative of some bigger problem. Flux does go tell Dysprosium Dawn that they should go public with their anti-cyberpathy implant, before VIPER start selling their knock-off stolen version. We might have discovered where some of the interesting tech that went ‘missing’ after that big supertech raid that we instigated got to. One the other hand, it would appear that one of the VIPER agents that we didn’t catch was working on improving the scanner technology demonstrated at that illegal supertech convention, and he was also vain enough to be driving a high-end colour-change sports car around Edge City. The latter isn’t illegal, as long as you inform the authorities of each colour change - he wasn’t - and driving a completely ordinary vehicle around town would be much less conspicuous anyway, even if he was switching license plates to fake being the others of the same make in SoCal. Using the automated license plate reader records for the city and the driver registrations of the legit drivers the team was able to isolate the common locations for those cars and where VIPER Agent Garry was going. So we got a warrant for his apartment. Magus then used Garry’s hairbrush to find out he does his work in a small workshop and cabin in the woods - the hunt is on! Fireflash: We’ll land a bit away and go in one foot so we can surprise him. Hero Shrew: No smashing our heads through the door and saying ‘Heeeere’s Johnny!’? Fireflash: He might have a superblaster and blow your head off. Flux: And that’s assuming he didn’t electrify his door like a sensible person. Hero Shrew does think to grab the first aid kit out of the Qruiser, just in case, until the GM points out that we never included one in the price of the vehicle. Which is a problem, since as a registered law enforcement vehicle it’s obligated to carry one. We should get onto that. Hero Shrew : *opens the kit - there’s a few band-aids at the bottom and they’re expired* GM: Most modern horror takes place in the woods. Hero Shrew: What are the odds that a VIPER agent would have a basement full of monsters under his cabin. GM: Pretty low - that’s more of DEMON’s bivouac. Although it does look like Garry has been practising with a Pulson Blaster, judging by some of the trees he’s been shooting at. Flux: Well, I’m going Invisible To Cameras, because why wouldn’t I. Hero Shrew: Maybe he’ll mistake me for a bear. Hero Shrew and Flux circle around to approach the building from behind. Hopefully he isn’t listening in on radio frequencies. Hero Shrew: Want me to go ‘Cawcaw! Cawcaw!’ over the communicators when we’re in position? Hero Shrew: So, who’s moving up first? Magus: We’d much rather have them shoot at you, than us. Hero Shrew: Fair enough. Sneaking around the cabin and sheds suggests Garry is busy welding more armour onto a pair of Big Armoured Suits. They seem a little primitive, technology-wise. GM: The Mk.I Iron Man suit looks better than this. Fireflash: Surrender! You are WILDLY outmatched. Garry goes down without much of a fight. Pity we can’t say the same about the robots. Of course, since Scooter has gone through two walls already, without the excuse of being blasted back through any, it’s debatable which side is doing more damage. GM: Property Damage, your name is Hero Shrew. Hero Shrew: Is it really a wall if I can just walk through it? Magus: Brick-type superheros aren’t allowed to make that argument. Fortunately Dee and Dum aren’t very bright - one of them even shoots at its own feet after it gets Entangled. It's an educational experience all round, really - for example, Flux discovers why it’s a bad idea to teleport through a Tesla Powerwall, and Hardlight is having trouble keeping Garry trapped in a force bubble. And it turns out that the Tweedlebots are Tyrell domestic robots, extensively modified to get around their hard-wired Three Laws. Not a simple problem - even dressing a homeless person as a robot stopped working the moment the robot realised that wasn’t oil leaking out all the holes. He’s had to install a suite of VR overlays in which Garry is the last human and everybody else is an enemy robot. Scooter has been doing some charity work to occupy his time and improve his reputation - mostly in the construction part of things. Hero Shrew: Habitats for Inhumanity. At least the construction industry in Edge City isn’t as hostile towards the superstrong as it is in other parts of the country. And there’s always an orphanage that needs building somewhere. Hero Shrew: Just doing my bit to support the sidekick industry. The Rep: I need to put a muzzle on my client. We’d cop less flak having him muzzled then we do if we don’t. But it looks like there’s going to be a need for more construction in the near future, since a trio of guys in powered armour are trashing a building and stacking cars on the other side of town. The Magus uses Dark Majesty to try and intimidate the antagonists. It does more to unnerve Flux. The Magus: Morning All. Are you REALLY sure this is what you want to be doing? It hasn’t worked for anybody else. Bad Guy P: Uh. Um? Could you stop the fire spreading too far, please? It would appear that the damage he’s been doing is his attempt to stop the fire he started from spreading to the rest of the city block. Bad Guy T: RELEASE THE HOUNDS! There are now a half-dozen cybernetic attack dogs to complicate the next few minutes. Hero Shrew: Is PETA likely to complain if we do the same thing to cyber-mastiffs that we do to the usual villains? Admittedly, flinging them around in a residential neighbourhood presents all kinds of different problems. The bad guys attempt to flee, hoping the hounds will keep us occupied. Bad Guy: Later people, Elvis has left the building. GM: No matter what happens, the Rep loves Magus. The Magus: Because it’s much simpler to spin stuff when we’re invisible to cameras. Scooter manages to leap right through a brick wall. Hero Shrew: That’s unfortunate - because I wasn’t actually meaning to do that, this time. Little Old Lady Inside The Building: Tea? *privately thinking ‘This f***ing city’* The cyber-mastiffs really were a very good distraction - a genuine threat to any civilians that came out to see what was happening in the neighborhood. It’s just as well we dealt with them all before anybody could get bitten in half. It’s also just as well that the Magus spent most of the fight putting the fire out, because there’s a person in a steel net inside the building. GM: It’s probably why the bad guys were trying so hard to put the fire out when you arrived ‘S*** s*** S***, we’re supposed to be catching this person alive’. The woman in question is a landscaper, and has no idea why any supervillains would want to kidnap her. Hero Shrew: Just as well we showed up when we did, then. And put the fire out too, of course. Although it IS slightly odd that she wasn’t even singed in the out-of-control fire. Hero Shrew: Well, we should have you checked out by the paramedics when they get here. We don’t want to find out you had smoke inhalation and die of an asthma attack overnight. Jadwiga Jaworski: *nods vigorously* Yes, we don’t want that. We wait for the police, firefighters, and animal control to arrive. Cyber-mastiff: Good Girl? I’m a Good Girl. Flux: .... Now I feel bad. I just punted one through a fence and into a tree. The enhanced attack dogs are three male and three female. By coincidence it was the males that went after the Magus. Hero Shrew: Clearly they know who the biggest bitch in the party is. Flux: ...the one day Hardlight isn’t here. Scooter, on the other hand, dealt with the other three. GM: He did a lot of bitch-slapping. hmm. not sure why that merged the two posts into one - the VIPER-related sessions were supposed to be one post, and the cybermastiffs seperate

Pathfinder : The Mummy's Mask - The Floor Is Lava The Path of Fire naturally includes some lethal conditions and cunning traps, some of which we only avoid by being paranoid f***ers. Onka: We push the iron golems, they slide into the lava, and they’re not a problem anymore. Zenobia: Until they climb back out now glowing with a red heat. Zenobia: Note for the future - don’t be on this level when we crash the pyramid. Zenobia: Asrian wait - even if we free these slaves, how do we get them past the lava? Asrian: We fly them out, swiftly. Zenobia: … Good point. Onka: We’re going to leave them outside? Zenobia: With the giant scorpions? Nemat: One problem at a time! Onka: I hope this isn’t another one of those ‘screw with good people’ traps because those are starting to s*** me. Nemat: They’re all dead. Zenobia: *looking down at the one I’m trying to feed water to* But we were only in here two minutes! Asrian OoC: They’re all dead, Dave. And another trap requires a depth of knowledge about ancient artificers guilds. Zenobia OoC: Who would have guessed that watching so many episodes of Antiques Roadshow would be useful. Asrian has to disable room after room of traps. Asrian: I’m good, I’m good. Zenobia: As far as I’m concerned you’re perfect. GM: Just give me a moment to grab some popcorn. Nemat OoC: Well THAT doesn’t bode well. The inhabitant of the next room is a bit surprised to see us - possibly because the room was well-hidden, but more likely because we came through the wall. Whoever employed him to sit around here presumably paid for some kind of fire resistance as well, since the floor in here is also lava. On the other hand, he also has a lot of friends. Zenobia: So, are we negotiating with these ones? Nemat: NO. Imhetef: Finally, after all these centuries, FRESH BLOOD! Nemat: Yeah, there was never going to be any talking with this guy. It also looks like this guy was an Inquisitor once, which is guaranteed to irritate our version. He starts walking towards us - on molten lava. Onka: That must be some amazing Fire Resistance. GM: No, just some very good shoes. Fortunately Asrian shakes off the compulsion to walk forward into the lava. Zenobia OoC: Asrian isn’t into Domination. Asrian OoC: Asrian is a top. She then casts Dispel Magic on Imhetef’s boots. He looks briefly surprised, before sinking into molten rock with all his protections suddenly removed. And when he turns into a swarm of bats, they promptly fry as well. Zenobia adds insult to injury by Channelling Positive Energy, which his Channel Resistance completely fails to stop. And then he sinks deeper into the lava. GM: There are now crispy-fried bats floating on the lava. Why did I have him walk across??? Onka OoC: He knew the slippers worked. Until suddenly they didn’t. Zenobia OoC: He was overconfident. And then he was on fire. And then he was dead. And then it’s time to hole up, patch a few minor wounds, level up, and send Onka out shopping with teleport and to fabricate more magical items in his Hyperbolic Time Chamber. It helps that Nemat has been carefully collecting the remains of all of the undead we’ve been killing over the last few months - the undead dust will be a useful ingredient in arrows of greater undead slaying. A few crossbow bolts designed to destroy constructs will also be handy - Hakotep is quite fond of constructs. Zenobia can help with some of the spellcasting Onka needs. Onka: Bring a book. Zenobia: Certainly. It’ll be the Book of Sarenrae. Onka: And sandwiches. Don’t forget sandwiches - this is going to take a while. Unfortunately, the controller of the Earth level is a Div known as Kaahbek, Sedeb Ianew, Eater of Woe. Asrian: Tell, me, how would you say ‘Eater of Feces’ in Ancient Osiriani? Nemat: Please don’t. Asrian: I’m not going to say it to the magic door, I’m going to say it to his face. Zenobia: Look on the bright side, maybe you’ll get to say it to him as often as we need to chant it here. Nemat: Actually, if I chant Kaahbek and you chant Eater of Feces that fulfils the door requirements and satisfies us at the same time. Unfortunately knowing how to pronounce his names and titles helps us not at all once we’re actually inside the Div’s domain, although it does help us translate the boasting of some long-dead alchemist. Of course, being the kind of party that just rushes in would be much worse, and probably fatal. Asrian OoC: Whereas WE are archeologists. I mean, a team of professionals like ourselves is less likely to stroll up to a mysterious barrier, and see if it’s edible. It’s not often we get to meet the craftsmen that created the tomb chambers either, such as the pair currently arguing about who is the better painter. Zenobia: Shall we ask if they want a third opinion? Craftman: *Looking up* You aren’t authorised to be in this area! You invite a taste of the whip! Nemat: Excuse me for asking an odd question, but what year is it? I think we’ve encountered some strange magic. They call for their boss, who doesn’t seem to be the kind of guy that will be earning any workplace awards any time soon. Hussef Daat: Shirking your duties again! *kicks a painter* And what of this lot? Do you require encouragement to labour? Kneel, and submit! Zenobia: I have an alternative suggestion - take yourself to the summit of this pyramid, emplace yourself thereon, and swivel. Zenobia expresses her concerns about the workplace conditions by casting Holy Smite on Daat and his Barbed Devil associates, and roasts and blinds both. Nemat: That will hit Asrian too. Zenobia: Yes, but it only harms the evil, and Asrian is good. In fact, she’s excellent. Asrian: That might change what Daat does next. Zenobia: Will he need help getting to the top of the pyramid? Unfortunately his retaliatory Fireball kills his employees. Zenobia OoC: What a pity they didn’t have protection against unfair incineration. Further along we can hear the cheers of a crowd - and gladiatorial combat arenas were hardly unique to the ancient Romans. Admittedly the Romans didn’t have huge golems in their arenas. It’s also rather odd that the three people that are about to be smashed by the golems are the same three craftsmen we saw in the previous chamber, before they got toasted. Just as well Onka can assume control of one of the large constructs, Nemat can catch the last in Chains of Light, and Zenobia can get the attention of one of the more unpleasant ones before it eats the slaves Mentu-Nebef: What is the meaning of this! Who dares interrupt the punishment of these slaves? Zenobia: *sigh* Our names would mean little to you. However, I must say this - my training in the worship of Sarenrae has taught me much of patience, and of forgiveness of the failings of others. But for the last month I have watched people I care about putting themselves in more and more danger, and your master endangers my adopted country, and I have a wedding to plan. So you will sit down, and you will shut up, or I, personally, will jam this sword up your dick. Of course, that will take about 3 rounds to say, so it’s possible Zenobia’s monologue will be interrupted by exploding golems. At least she’ll have a nice backdrop for her threat. Nemat: *hums the 1812 Overture* The golem Onka is puppeting is doing an AMAZING number of Critical Hits. Zenobia: That must be a very well-constructed golem. GM: Perhaps you can keep it after the fight. Onka: It won’t fit through the doors (and I’ve been thinking about it). Nemat: Besides, we were going to make our own by splitting off parts of our souls. Zenobia OoC: Look how well that worked for Voldemort. Mentu-Nebef: ENOUGH! *tearing the cartouche amulet from around his neck and throwing it to the ground in front of Zenobia* There! You have earned your passage! Now return to whatever hole you crawled from! Nemat: OBVIOUSLY he’s referring to the secret tunnel in the floor we used to get into this level. Zenobia: OOOOH, I just assumed the ‘hole you crawled from’ was a personal insult. The next few chambers are variously suspiciously nice or just wildly suspicious. Once again, our skill as archeologists and professional mantra of ‘identify and record everything before you touch anything’ proves invaluable. The next person we encounter appears to be a horribly burned priestess, who claims she was enslaved by the Sky Pharoah after he banned the worship of Osiris. Zenobia: That DOES sound like something he would do. Of course she’s lying, as Nemat can easily tell. Nemat: Here’s a hint - Don’t lie to an Inquisitor. Zenobia: Well we don’t know WHY she’s lying, she might just be embarrassed. *turns back to the ‘Priestess’* You can tell us the truth, you know, we might be surprisingly understanding. Asrian: Darling I love you but sometimes you’re too trusting for your own good. The Priestess reveals her true form. Nemat OoC: Apparently somebody decided Ursula the Sea-witch was too fat and not ethnic enough. Nemat gets rid of her with his first spell. Nemat: I am so done with all this - I just want to find the Sky Pharaoh and apply the beating. Onka: No no, he belongs in a museum. Nemat: He belongs in the ground - there’s at least 3 gods that want a word with him. We sabotage another flying pyramid control system, and trash more of the Sky-Pharoah’s fleet. Zenobia: I’m just amazed the Pharoah hasn’t taken more of an interest - he MUST know we’re in here by now. We’ve even been taking time for naps. The last level of the pyramid is presumably going to be water-themed. Just as well we know the spell Life Bubble, which would protect us against being underwater, extremes of temperature, pressure, and poisonous gases. Zenobia OoC: Ideal if we ever wanted to make a field trip to a Black Smoker. To get in the last crypt we need to slake the thirst of the resident demon. Onka recalls that blood is a suitable libation. But we don’t have any bottles of manticore blood or random animal corpses left. Asrian: *sighs and rolls up her sleeve* Zenobia: *whimper* Onka: I just heard an unhappy gnoll noise and I don’t like it. Zenobia: I used to be a butcher and now I’m a healer - I can cut somewhere safe! Asrian: That’s why I’m handing you the knife. Nemat: Hold on, I’ve got some Unholy Water at the bottom of this backpack. Onka: Oh right, you can use that instead of blood. The Rest of the Party: *give Onka A Look* The crypt is all canals, complete with creepy funeral barges, with even more creepy ferrymen. Zenobia: At least I don’t need to use the Collapsible Bathtub as a raft. Nemat: I still have this Swan Boat token. Asrian: And we still have Overland Flight. Onka: And Life Bubble - we could just walk on the bottom of the canal. We decide to pay the psychopomps anyway, and pile into two of the boats. Onka: And the lovebirds in the other boat? Hey, we could have had Asrian and Zenobia in the Swan Boat. Nemat: I’ll let them use it for the wedding It’s entirely too easy to find the control pyramid, although it’s embedded in ice. Alarm bells are ringing - metaphorically, inside our heads. There’s apparently still no response to our rampage through the rest of the pyramid. We assume that this one has to be a fake and go looking for the real thing. Maybe it’s in the room commemorating the Pharoah’s sister-in-law, who was fed to crocodiles after attempting a coup. Zenobia: What a charming family. Although we have a suspicion that ‘fed to the crocodiles’ might mean ‘sealed inside this crocodile statue’. The Banshee and her handmaidens are a more immediate concern, especially since the former nearly kills Zenobia with her screech, and the latter seem inordinately eager to get inside the party members. Nemat OoC: Well, you do hear a lot of rumours about the nobility and their handservants.

Harshal would grab his go-bag, and bag of precious stones, and get the hell out of town. Zenobia would attempt Banishment on the demon turkey (although finding a large enough bottle of cranberry sauce for the rite might be difficult), and cutting the Achilles tendon on the mutant. She's not really equipped to deal with mecha. She would certainly try and keep their attention away from civilians. Jrska would find a bottle shop, loot an armfull of stuff, climb onto the roof, and cheer them on. Vitus would cast Boil Blood on the mutant, Destroy Metal on the mecha, and simple Annihilation on the demon. They might be large, but heads, ankles, and eyeballs tend to be vulnerable targets. Anybody who complains about the collateral damage as the fall over, flail, etc, will be treated with utter contempt. Zero would probably have to keep hitting them with telepathic illusions to keep them off-balance, and lead them to open ground away from civilians. Felix from Shadowrun would probably just gawp. He's more likely to be part of the fleeing crowds, honestly, in this situation. Ripper K would be getting civilians out of the way, at least until his teammates have got the anti-tank gun unpacked and need him to kick some doors in so they get to the best vantages points to shoot from. Techmarine Tawhaki would wait until they all reach Main Street and call in an orbital lance strike. The collateral damage is unfortunate, but the God-Emperor will surely understand. ROVER would call Animal Control. That is unlikely to go well. If the turkeys have online records of their previous rampages, he would march up to Main Street and request they surrender. When they don't, he would deploy weapons and start machine-gunning them until he runs out of ammo. Hero Shrew would be having flashbacks to that thing with the Kaiju but at least these are all things he can punch as hard as he likes. He might have to burrow into the spine of the mutant to bring it down, though. The Mecha is even easier. Demon would be a problem, since Mystic S*** isn't his forte. He might try punching its teeth out and forcefeeding it a holy water font.

*facepalm* forgot to include Hero Shrew. Hero Shrew: ...Well, I hope you're not some alternate or time travelling version of me, because I'm about to punch your head in. (although if we're being honest, the team's underground base is probably going to be trashed in the ensuing fistfight even if it IS an alternate Scooter of time traveller)

hmm, I forgot how ROVER would react. Not shoot at him, obviously, which is the result of a programming shortcut that his creator installed to avoid having to programme in self-recognition in a world that still has mirrors. 'Don't Shoot At Anything That Looks Like This Even If It Has A Gun'. If the dopple IS a duplicate, somehow, then I expect considerable mutual confusion and lots of whirring of their tape memory. "QUERY: Identify Yourself?" "This Unit Nomeclature ROVER, Mobile Personal Defence Automaton" "PARSING: +++ ERROR+++ This Unit Nomeclature ROVER, Mobile Personal Defence Automaton. Restate Identification?" "This Unit Nomeclature ROVER, Mobile Personal Defence Automaton.QUERY: Identify Yourself?" "This Unit Nomeclature ROVER, Mobile Personal Defence Automaton" "PARSING: +++ ERROR+++ This Unit Nomeclature ROVER, Mobile Personal Defence Automaton. Restate Identification?" "This Unit Nomeclature ROVER, Mobile Personal Defence Automaton.QUERY: Identify Yourself?" And so on. Any kind of AI that doesn't run on an old ATARI and 8-track tapes will no doubt run circles around ROVER if it's careful (although most humans are too wide to fit into an accurate disguise), but even if they're somekind of shape-shifter, alien, illusionist etc they'd have to be careful not to trigger ROVER's usual default - shoot them and let somebody more intelligent ask questions later.

This has probably been a WWYCD? before, but what the hell - Your character is off duty at the base, or at home, when an apparently exact duplicate of yourself opens the door and walks in. They certainly seem surprised to see you there. Wot Do? Harshal, from the Streets of Magnimar game, would immediately knife them in the throat, since there is no good reason for a duplicate of himself to be coming in. His actual allies would know better, magical and monstrous duplicates are a thing, and if it's some good adventurer who investigating organised crime in Magnimar, using Disguise Self, and didn't expect Harshal to actually be home, then Harshal can always claim self-defense on the grounds of the fact that magical and monstrous duplicates are a thing. Jrska would go find that time machine from the other WWYCD and enjoy a threesome with herself. Vitus would be suspicious, but is aware that alternate universes are a thing, as is time travel, etc. A few protective spells and a defensive stance are in order, at least until questioning can confirm whether or not this is a Doppelgänger, clone, multiversal duplicate, transporter accident, android body-double, or so on. The biggest risk would be if they ARE some kind of alternate-universe Vitus, and they seem to be happier in their life then him. Because Vitus' white-hot furious despair that any version of himself is actually HAPPY would be difficult to describe, and probably murderous. Zero is quite a powerful telepath. If they are some kind of clone duplicate, the telepathic resonance as they confirm each other's identity would probably put everybody in Edge City into a coma. Felix from Shadowrun would be diving for cover and casting spells and screaming for help as soon as he got over the initial surprise. He's not aware of magical duplicates or holodisguises that good, but there's no way that one showing up is a good thing. Ripper K would probably go 'huh.' Might use furniture as a barricade just in case. Ask a few questions that anybody trying to imitate him are staggeringly unlikely to know even if they combed through his social media. Contact the rest of the team, and warn them that there's a body double at the apartment, and to start using identification codephrases until this is sorted out. Probably a 50/50 chance of this suddenly going into combat, or ending up in bed together. Techmarine Tawhaki would immeadiately go into combat and broadcast a warning about the Alpha Legion infiltraitor on every channel. He's probably still going to die, but there's a small chance that the warning will get out.

Sure - he might look like an 8ft tall anthropomorphic orca, but he's a cheerful guy that doesn't hurt civilians and would rather end a fight with one hit than terrorise people. Even better are the missions where he can be in and out in seconds without hurting anybody. Seduction also works, but takes longer.

I dare say that's accurate. Jrska, of course, would slam that button the moment she saw it, but I wouldn't want to be any Eldar Harlequins she ran into in future, since her idea of a suitable retaliatory prank isn't printable. Vitus would be too suspicious to fall for it, which is just as well since his revenge would be bloody. Zero would probably guess the nature of the prank and wave at the cameras, and would warn off his teammates, but leave it in place for the next schmuck. Felix from Shadowrun would be traumatised if any of that paint got on his custom-tailored stupidly expensive clothing. Ripper K would press it out of curiousity, and probably be quite amused by the result.

Well, let's see - Hero Shrew would print off a list of the more noteworthy events in SoCal, and then track down somebody from the previous Edge City campaign. Zenobia would be a frozen by indecision - ten years ago, she was just another monster, and it might be a bit difficult to leave important clues for the Covenant of Wati anywhere where she wouldn't get shot on sight. And she'd be afraid that anything she does would change history enough that she never meets Asrian. Jrska, of course, would just take the opportunity to f*** herself. She IS a Slaaneshi cultist. Ten years isn't far enough for Vitus to undo the worst of his decisions, and he'd just be left more cranky and bitter about it. Techmarine Tawhaki would be obliged to turn himself in to the Ordo Chronos. Zero would have to hurry around and plant post-hypnotic suggestions in critical individuals to prevent major events from happening like they did in the original timeline. That would a rush job, and quite probably end up in disaster. Felix from Shadowrun would probably try to prevent the assassination of Dunkelzahn, but given there were already time travel shenannigans involved there, and god knows what the Big D was actually up to, it would probably turn out to All Part Of The Plan anyway. I can't see Ripper K being selected for any kind of mission involving time travel, unless it was part of a team, in which case he'd carry out his part of a whatever the well-planned out, multiply redundant mission was, professionally and efficiently.

Champions: Return To Edge City : Do Not Poke The Synchronoclastic Infundibulum Hardlight’s player: I tried for Lord of the Flies for my new Twitter handle, but apparently Mike Pence already had it. Me: I can clearly picture some of the comic panels from Antihero Shrew in the Liefeld Continuum - Shrew handcuffed and beaten in some kingpin’s penthouse, villain is monologuing, Shrew says “I have one question - who has two thumbs and can bench-press a truck?”. Then he snaps the handcuffs, and the next panel is the kingpin with two bloody eye sockets, being thrown from the penthouse window. Or two cops clearly about to sexually assault a sex worker, and there’s a soft thump behind them as Antihero Shrew lands on their patrol car. “Hghnnn. I can play ‘hide-the-truncheon’ too.” We’ve found out what’s at the bottom of Lake Effinger. It’s a Tesseract, bracketed by two Atlantean underwater torches. One has to wonder if that alien engineer who nearly blew up California knew it was there. Or whether Doctor Destroyer knew about it, when he helped save California by lending the Champions etc some of his antigrav tech. Hero Shrew: So do I poke it with a stick now? The Magus: Please don’t poke it with a stick. Hardlight: Yeah, I have a perfectly good telekinesis power. Fireflash: So, is something going to come through it and attack us? The Magus: It’s been down here for years, if anything was going to come through it it already would have. Hero Shrew: Well, that’s tempting fate. The Magus: As the closest thing we have to an expert, I advise against adding high energy phenomena to the strange glowing ball. The way it turns into a hypertorus when we get closer is a little alarming, and the Magus dissuading Hardlight from poking the thing is probably the only reason we don’t star in a reboot of Sliders. Weldun has to come up with an entirely new adventure, because Hardlight actually showed restraint. We wall up the underwater cave and leave. Flux: It’s been perfectly fine for an indeterminate amount of time and will hopefully be well and truly not our problem by the time it isn’t. Perhaps we should figure out which of Edge City’s occult organisations has been messing with the city’s geomantic aspects. Or at least somebody, or a very rare book, that can give us a hint. Maybe the Doom Platoon? Hardlight: Well, they do smuggle stuff. Maybe they acquired a… book? Flux: …. Huh. The Magus: That’s actually worth checking out, GM: At least the occult community of Edge City doesn’t use Moreaus as a source of animal parts for rituals. They universally agree that they’re people. The Magus: So they just use them for human sacrifices. Flux: As much as I trust the Magus as an upstanding person who happens to creep me out, I don’t trust him enough to hand over the Tablet of Khejimeth. GM: Imagine how he’s going to react when he finds out you had that. The Magus OoC: Actually you’ve been doing pretty well with that - for the last few thousand years it’s basically been a fancy paperweight. We should probably introduce the Magus to Gareth’s druids too, before he elaborates on his theory that Gareth Lowell is behind it all. Hardlight: They’re not my druids! Flux: No, they’re the local branch of Lo-Carb Real Estate, under contract by Lowell-tech LLC to provide agricultural support and manufacturing. Merger/Hostile Takeover Pending. GM: Actually, I think Lowelltech is publicly traded. Hero Shrew OoC: But LoCarb is LLC? GM: Absolutely, they’re a bunch of hippies. Flux: The Magus, meet the fertility druids. Fertility druids, meet The Magus. LoCarb Druids: I wish you’d stop calling us that, we’re not fertility druids, we just use aspects of fertility magic in our Work. The Magus: They’ve been calling me THE Magus since they met me, which is wildly overblown. As it happens, one of the druids HAS heard of the geomancy book, The Whispering Path, that the Magus has been trying to hunt down. It was offered for auction in Edge City a few decades back, and his mother was quite put out when she was outbid. Further, the druids are pretty sure that at THREE influences messing with the geomancy of Edge City, with two based in Western Geomancy, and one Eastern. At least nobody has been adding South American geomancy to the mix. The Magus might also want to talk to that Chinese demon that showed up too. If it causes trouble, he can also seal it inside a jade box. The Magus: The problem is getting a big enough box. Flux: Well, I can find one, but it’ll annoy some people. Will Candii with two ‘i’s do? The Humanity First trial has hit a slight stall - they’re claiming that they can’t be charged with planning mass murder, because Moreaus aren’t human. And that the terrorism charges don’t apply because at the time they were apprehended they were decanting Black Smoke into safer containers. There are also some legal precedents looming that we don’t know about yet, but which threaten to make the case far more prolonged then we would like. Hardlight: Well, I’m certainly happy to be called to the stand, but I probably shouldn’t be because I’ll just f*** things up. GM: Gareth has clearly been spending a lot of time with the druids, that was some impressive self-awareness there. Hero Shrew: Shouldn’t we tell somebody about that tesseract? Fireflash: The question is who. The Magus: Your PRIMUS handlers, perhaps? Flux: I don’t recall agreeing to that. The Magus: You might want to check the paperwork you signed. I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to tell them if you find anything like the tesseract. Flux: Is there a time limit? That technophile at Fireflash’s college, who invented the superbatteries, is in the news again. He part-sold the technology to a company called Diamondback. Hero Shrew: DIAMONDBACK????? GM: Yes, it’s a relatively new company, only a few years old. Hero Shrew: Uh-huh. And when did the last front company for VIPER fold? Actually, no front company with any brains would invite superhero attention with a name that obvious. The Magus: And no company with any brains would pick a snake name because VIPER would show up and tell them ‘join us or die’. Although they do seem to have suckered the inventor, and likely have an even better grasp of new technology’s potential than he did. The inventor also comments that he was getting intense romantic interest from somebody they both know (probably just golddigging). Inventor: And there’s another guy I pay to help me with the corporate stuff, and he gives me good advice, but every time I feel like I need a shower. Fireflash: … it’s The Rep, isn’t it. His involvement is probably the only reason the inventor wasn’t completely railed by Diamondback, but it also appears that somebody higher up in that company sent the order down to give him a better deal than expected. The other corporate entities in the city have been really pushing to invest inside the city, despite the economic drainpipe it’s constantly circling. GM: It’s like they’ve finally realised they’re stuck here too. Hardlight: Edge City - It’s Too Big To Fail Scooter has been moping a bit since the whole Humanity First raid - he hasn’t been needed to punch anything since he nearly killed that mook, and he’s been feeling bad about not telling the Zoo’s leaders just how much danger the Moreaus were actually in. He probably should have told them earlier, but it’s too late now since all the details are coming out in the trial anyway. But as it happens, most of the Moreaus are sympathetic about the dilemma he was in. GM: It helps that Pastor Doug has been one of your supporters, The Magus OoC: Wait, a pasta chef? Oh wait, a priest. Hardlight OoC: Now you need to stat up Pasta Doug. GM: NO I DON’T. …. Itsa me, Doug! And the Danger Noodles aren’t old enough to be involved in anything yet anyway. Hardlight: How are the Danger Noodles doing? GM: You have no idea, they’re still in an undisclosed location. The Magus: I didn’t think there were any serpentine Moreaus. GM: There weren’t until recently. A Genesys splinter lab was making them, and they got rescued, but that got UNTIL interested, and VIPER showed up as well. The Magus: Like I said - anything remotely snaked-themed and VIPER just HAS to get involved. Scooter does want to get some legal advice, though, given it’s quite likely he’ll get called in as a witness, and having somebody as honest and unfiltered as the shrew-Moreau in the stand is going to be a nightmare. He goes to talk to the community leader Simon. GM: Well, you get to see a look of sheer terror cross his face as he realises ‘Oh S***, Scooter could get called to the stand.’ Hardlight: That’s worse than me being called up. The Magus: Wouldn’t it invalidate their own argument if they call a Moreau up to the stand? Simon: … If the defense does, yes. And the prosecution isn’t likely to want you to testify. The Magus: I seem to recall a case where a dog was called in to testify. Simon: If they DO call you up, just say it’s all in your statement. You DID tell the truth in your statement, didn’t you? And you can ALWAY refer to your notes. They told you about the importance of note taking in your police powers training course, didn’t they? Hero Shrew: I usually put anything like that into my phone. Simon: You’ll probably want a separate notebook. And remember: if they ask any questions about what happened, you can ALWAYS say ‘I’m checking my notes’ Hero Shrew: I’ll make a note of that. Simon also tries to put a small telepathic compulsion on Scooter, to ensure he doesn’t f*** up the case. It bounces off Scooter’s thick skull, unnoticed. GM: Simon is SO glad that his psychic abilities are invisible, because if Scooter ever realises that Simon has been psychically manipulating him, he’s going to be a smear on the wall. There’s a rally on Moreau rights coming up - somebody invited Scooter. Since most of the headline speakers are actually Moreaus, it’s hopefully not some kind of trap (just having Scooter there is asking for trouble as it is). Simon has a speech. Simon: For a decade and a half, there has been a debate in this nation, centered on this city. The subject of this debate is whether the artificial beings known as "Moreaus" are “people-” whether they possess the same degree of personhood as humans, and whether that entitles them to the same rights. The implications of this debate extends to all sophonts and their place under the law. But let me make this argument. The law is built on assumptions. It is assumed that a person over the age of majority is competent and able to understand their rights and responsibilities. Until proven otherwise. It is assumed that a person is law-abiding and peaceable. Until proven otherwise. I put to you that any being that requests that they be recognised as a person, is capable of true cognition and understanding the rights and responsibilities that come with personhood. Until proven otherwise. We are going forward into an era where we not only face even more artificial beings entering society, but will also begin to reach out into the stars where we already know, know for a certainty, that there are other thinking, reasoning beings. I put to you that the only reasonable position for the law, going forward into this era, is to assume personhood for any being capable of requesting it. We Moreaus request that we be recognized as persons. We request that we be able to fully enter society. We request that we be able to work at real jobs and pay our taxes openly. We request that we be protected by, and held accountable to, the law. This is all that we have ever asked for in the fifteen years of our existence. We have been patient. We have been polite. We have not made demands. Yet. A lot of people are murmuring about the Enclave Proposal, afterwards, but that idea has been talked about for years as well. That Chinese demon who has been hanging around trying to fulfil his contract is here too - somebody gave him a ticket. The residents of the Zoo are quite used to him, and in fact, have started a new sport of teasing him about his rules regarding ‘only attacking those who challenge them’. GM: Demon-baiting has become a thing. Xiǎo Lǎbā would quite like to go home, but unless one of us can contact The Magus, it’s not like any of us can help. Scooter also notices that a number of Moreaus are talking more reasonably then they usually do. It’s a bit out of character honestly. Hero Shrew: But then I’m being more reasonable than usual myself *eyes cricket-on-a-stick suspiciously*. It’s not all Moreaus in the crowd, though, there are plenty of humans in the crowd. Although one of them, a rather gothic woman currently talking to a Moreau voodoo priestess, one Modena, that Scooter knows but hasn’t really interacted with, is having an odd effect on the surrounding crowd. Moreaus keep recoiling from her for no obvious reason. The two of them are talking in Haitian creole. Scooter is aware that the Moreau has a reputation of being powerful enough that the Voodoo Crew avoid her, but the two are talking amicably enough. He asks one of the people that recoiled why they react like that, but they’re not sure, and just complain about something feeling off, and feeling cold. He calls Flux over to investigate. Hero Shrew: He’s the closest thing we have to an expert on Mystic S***. Flux at least has come in costume today - Hardlight is in his civilian ID. Flux can actually introduce himself as another practitioner, assuming he can bring himself to actually interact with somebody. Flux: Enjoying yourself? Modena: Why wouldn’t I be? My people are finally getting the rights they deserve. Mystery Woman: I have a personal interest myself *holds out a very cold hand*. Laura Hollis. My people deserve rights as well. Flux: A pleasure to meet you. I have to say that the books and movies haven’t done you justice. GM: Oh s***, you recognise the name? Flux OoC: Well, cold, pallid, animals avoid her, there’s not that many types of intelligent undead about. In fact, he assumed she was one of the loa. The fact that Hollis is a vampire will be a shock. Flux OoC: I’ll probably realise later and s*** myself. Hollis has a point - undead have even fewer rights than AIs. Although that might have something to do with the diet - she doesn’t smell of anything but perfume and her last meal, whoever that was. The Enclave idea is *really* taking off - if Simon is using his psychic abilities on the crowd, it certainly isn't obvious. In fact, he seems a little perturbed by how intense but calm the crowd is. Flux reports ‘Don’t worry, she’s just an undead’ then has to hurry off and blank some security cameras so Hardlight can change into his superhero costume without anybody wondering what happened to Gareth Lowell. Hardlight: Greetings, citizens! I mean, future citizens! At least he can scan the crowd now. Hopefully he’ll remember not to use ultrasonics around Moreaus. He confirms that Hollis’ body temperature is no higher than room temperature, but there don’t seem to be any other undead or cyborgs or other oddities among the locals. He does spot somebody he should recognise - one Matthias Winslow, the Owner/Proprietor of the Lunar Lounge cinema, and other properties. Unusually for a wealthy Edger, he has no implants. He shows up in the society pages sometimes, and has a minor reputation as a letch.

The Pharaoh’s pyramid has spikes, and lightning. Nemat: Oh god, he’s gone full edgelord. He also has colossal scorpions as guard dogs, which does him no good at all since the entire party is invisible and flying. Doesn’t stop the slightly-built woman that appears out of thin air and a blast of trumpets at the top of the pyramid and strolls unconcerned down the side towards us. It’s the same woman who was doing the illicit research in the secret library, months ago. She addresses us, the entire area, and, as we’ll learn later, is doing the same from smaller pyramids hovering over every major town in Osirion. Spokeswoman: These are the words of Hakotep the First, Lord of the Sands, Scourge of the Shory, Most Beloved Son of Set, Glorious and Eternal Sky Pharaoh of Osirion! Let all who would grow wise fall silent and listen! Zenobia: Well, we can probably still hear her if we go inside, so let's go inside. Nemat: No no, she might give the game away. Zenobia: ‘Don’t stop the bad guys when they’re monologuing’ Spokeswoman: Rejoice, faithful of Osirion! Your god and pharaoh has returned to rule over His lands and His people with strength and wisdom, to return the kingdom to the glory lost by His unworthy successors! Nemat: Actually she’s not saying anything useful, I’ll just cast Silence. The woman splits into two, one image continuing her spiel, and the other looking at us and heading towards us. Spokeswoman: Is it you who called down the pyramid? Who would dare impede the Sky Pharaoh in his divine undertaking? Who would stand in the way of a living god? Asrian: Yes. Zenobia: Well, we’re not going to lie. She seems a bit unprepared to deal with anybody that isn’t as prolix as her. GM: STOP BREAKING THE NPCs Spokeswoman: If you wish to meet He who wields the Crook and Flail of Kings, you must demonstrate your worthiness by traversing the Fourfold Path—Walk on the Wind, Breathe in the Water, Swim through the Soil, and Dance in the Fire. Only those sorely tested may come into the divine presence of the Most Beloved Son of Set. Nemat: I can do all of those. But I’ll need Onka’s help for one of them. Asrian: Or we can just obliterate you. Spokeswoman: I would like to see you try. Nemat: Thank you! That’s exactly what we were waiting for - permission! But the spokeswoman is clearly an illusory projection. Nemat: I’m not going to waste a reply on somebody who doesn’t have the courage to be here in person. Spokeswoman: *smiling sweetly* Then perhaps, mortal, we shall meet in person. Hopefully we’ll survive that long - some of the challenges inside the pyramid are amazingly nasty. Nemat: Did you just kinkshame a chaos beast to death? We also discover that some of the sarcophagi are just painted wood. Asrian: I’m getting the impression that Pharoah-guy is just cheap. He probably spent all the money on the Hurricane Shaft - not fun. Especially since we literally have enough rope to hang ourselves. Asrian manages to run up along the wall without being Mixmastered, to place some helpful ropes. Zenobia OoC: At least I don’t have a heart attack. GM: You do see her slip. Asrian: She’s seen my slip many times. And of course then something like this happens And who would have guessed that a thorough knowledge of funeral practises would be relevant? We all turn to our local expert, Nemat. Of course after so many instances of poorly done funerals leading to Problems, having a properly done funeral leading to Bigger Problems is entirely apropo for this campaign. Zenobia: Can Nightmare Vapour poison be counteracted by cuddling? And it looks like somebody actually considered the possibility of adventures flitting around like swallows, since Asrian triggers a Dispel Magic trap while she’s flying over a 300ft-deep shaft. Zenobia OoC: And now Zenobia has that heart attack. Fortunately it negated her Delay Poison first, and she knows Featherfall anyway. It also turns out that the Pharaoh had a rather geeky son that Nemat probably would have quite liked, and that the Pharaoh thought well enough of to get a statue of Thoth made to represent him. He might have been an evil ****, but at least he was fond of his kid. Typically arrogant, of course. The kid’s mum, on the other hand, was apparently a follower of the Dark Tapestry. Asrian: So she’s probably gone on to her fate worse than death. Onka: And good riddance. Unfortunately it looks like we’re going to break into the kid’s sarcophagus. None of us want to - he seems like he would have been an OK kid. Maybe we should ask his spirit for permission first? GM: oh my god why must my players try to make friends with everything including THE LONG DEAD. They've Undertale'd half this adventure I swear. Even if the Pharaoh didn’t go bonkers until after his son was killed, it’s practically certain that the sarcophagus will be trapped out the wazoo. Zenobia: Well, at least it’ll give Nemat more time to copy down the hieroglyphs. As it turns out, it’s enchanted with a illusory trap. Onka: So cheap he didn’t even set traps on his own son’s grave. Zenobia: Better than getting a False Negative on the Detect Traps.. Even better would be not having to fight a pair of giant fire-immune lightning birds. Asrian’s skillset isn’t going to be very useful here. Zenobia: You’ll just have to handle the Wand of Cure Light Wounds. Nemat: I refrain from commenting on your knowledge of her wand-handling skills. Zenobia OoC: If I CAN banish them it’ll be Thunderbirds Go! Nemat Chains of Light them - they plummet to the bottom of the 300ft shaft. Asrian: That might not kill them. Nemat: It’s THUDD at the very least. Zenobia OoC: Now we defeated the Zapdosses, do we put them in our Pokéballs? GM: ah, so that's why Asrian fell in love, you can't help but boop that snoot Asrian OoC: That, and taking a lover who wouldn't judge her appearance. Asrian has serious body image problems. Nemat OoC: I need healing, I have a booboo. Asrian OoC: Imagine how much you’d need if you had a Yogi. Zenobia: Would it be asking for trouble if we take bets on what’s in the next tomb? Asrian: Yes. Zenobia: Just as well I’m not a gambling gnoll then. Nemat: Well, the last few were thematically appropriate, so the shrine of the Sphinx will be a sphinx. Or my girlfriend, according to you guys. It’s a mummified sphinx. Zenobia: Your girlfriend isn’t looking too well there. Androsphinx: *hisses* Finally, some visitors! Asrian: Do you need a cough drop? Androsphinx: I’ve been here ten thousand years, I don’t think a cough drop will achieve much. Nemat: Actually it’s been closer to two and half. Androsphinx: It felt much longer. Zenobia is appalled that a thinking being has been locked up in here that long without any contact with the outside world or even anything to read. We attempt our usual trick of talking them around to our side, or even just escorting them out of the pyramid for some fresh air. Nemat: Oh no we aren’t - do I have to explain androsphinxs? They’re evil rapists. And probably have baby-eating in their description. If anything, becoming a mummy probably improved his disposition. Androsphinx: So do you want the riddle or do you want me to eat you? Nemat: Oh, we’ll try the riddle first. Androsphinx: Excellent choice, I do so enjoy them. He gives us the riddle, which Zenobia solves instantly: Asrian: She from the desert. There’s nothing to talk about but sand and camels out there. Nemat: Allow us to introduce ourselves - we’re the Covenant of Wati. Adventurers and scholars. Androsphinx: Ah. Not the usual meatheads then. Well, do what you want, I’ll be back in ten minutes. I’m going for a walk. We’re left in charge of one of the control panels for the Pharaoh’s fleet of flying pyramids. Asrian suggests we order them to fly into an infamous manastorm that should scuttle them quite nicely. Or better yet, just inform them all that the Covenant of Wati has infiltrated the other pyramids and they should attack each other. And then shut down the interface completely. Pity we don’t have time to saw it off the base and take it with us. Asrian: It’s emerald, I want it. Zenobia: I thought it was gnolls that like emeralds. We head off to sabotage another level of the main pyramid, although we do return the late Prince’s mask. Asrian: It’s not his fault his dad is a d***. Unfortunately the next level apparently requires the sacrifice of a sentient humanoid before we can get in. Nemat: Or I can just knock repeatedly, because f*** that s*** GM: There’s no response. Nemat: I meant knocking with my adamantium hammer. Unfortunately, the entire passage is trapped and we get somewhat toasted. It would appear the entire area is the home of some kind of major fire demon. This, presumably, is the Path of Fire.

Weldun wanted us to come up with Alternate Universe versions of all our characters, for upcoming sessions. Naturally, one of them is simply Mirror Universe. Time to break out the sticky-backed goatees. Me: Well, obviously Mirror Universe Scooter is Antihero Shrew. With absolutely no compunctions about using lethal force. Hardlight's Player: Putting you down as Liefeldian Antihero Me: There are probably pouches involved, yes. Presumably full of live snacks.

Champions - Return to Edge City : Geomancy 101 I realise it's been quite a while since the last Edge City post, but between COVID-19, lightning strikes, Weldun somehow nearly getting his ears blown six feet into his skull by an audio glitch, and more, we haven't actually got many hours in. The same has applied to the Pathfinder game, to a slightly lesser degree. Cleaning up after Humanity First tried to prepare deadly chemical weapons to use against the Moreau population. After Scooter nearly murdered one of the racist mooks at the chemical plant, he’s going to have to face the music from the Moreau leadership, as well as from his teammates - turning an ordinary human into a pretzel is bad optics. The reactions from the various community leaders are going to be mixed - the otter brothel-owner will at least understand where he was coming from. Madam Lil: Don’t get caught doing it, or if you do get caught at least make it look like an accident. She has a point. Attempting to put somebody’s head up their own ass is hard to pass off as an accident, even if they’re Reed Richards. Scooter makes his way to the Collar Club to drink heavily, which is probably a waste of time since his Constitution is superhumanly high. At least the word of what Scooter did isn’t out in the rumour mill, since he didn’t actually kill anybody (magical healing is a useful thing) and nobody is inclined to bother the guy who used to be the club bouncer, when he has never been seen to drink heavily before. Fireflash would probably be off drinking somewhere too, if that wouldn’t be a different problem. Hardlight: Surely she’s old enough now? GM: Nope. Old enough to die for her country, not old enough to drink. UNTIL is going to have to be called in to deal with a terrorist weapon like this - and to Gareth’s dismay, they recruit his rival Centurion into the effort. His powersuit has full environment capabilities, for two people, and a water cannon. Eventually Scooter rings Fireflash and mutters what is probably the best apology she’s going to get. Hopefully that means we can have actual team meetings again, such as one about the pair of former sunbeds that got dropped off to Bat-Moreau and former team member Allana/Nocturne, with the note "one for you and one for your friends associates". Apparently they’ve been altered to read and display auras, for medical purposes. Nocturne: Now we just have to figure out how they work. Flux: Well, plug it in over there and we’ll screw around. Hero Shrew: ‘F*** around and find out.’ Flux: All we need is a test subject… hmm. Hey, Hardlight, we have a new sunbed for you. Nocturne: ‘Most of it is cool blue and then there’s a vortex of doom in your neck.’ Hardlight: Well, I know about THAT. Hero Shrew: Well, I’m game *climbs in, then grabs Flux’s wrist* We ARE sure this wasn’t sent by a supervillain, right? Flux: Could you grab Allana’s wrist instead? If you have an involuntary muscle spasm her hand won’t go bye-bye. GM: That would give Nocturne a chance to try out her flesh regenerator. Nocturne: It doesn’t work on bones. It’s likely the devices were made by Guilt-rider/Dr Soma, although Nocturne has never told us that they’re the same person. GM: Although it doesn’t have the hallmarks of Guilt-rider’s stuff - no chrome skulls. Hero Shrew: So it’s not some kind of magitech cloning device sent by a supervillain. Nocturne: I’m 30% sure it’s fine. The Magus, now that he’s confident he’s not going to die of Martian Anthrax, can get on with his investigation of exactly what kind of mystic bulls*** is going on in Edge City. He has been learning all kinds of interesting things about Edge City, at least as far as what kinds of occult groups are operating where. He’d probably be fascinated to learn about that dimensional gate in the bay, but it’s not like any of us are likely to tell him about it. It’s unlikely Scooter even remembers it. We probably never would have discovered half the stuff the Magus has, either. GM: Because the party’s magical expert really isn’t that much of an expert on magic. Although there does seem to be at least one other technomancer, or group of technomancers, operating in Edge City. But then technomancers are the kind of people that wave rubber chickens at malfunctioning servers and then be surprised when it works. But even without the kind of future problems that could be avoided with a five minute conversation, he soon discerns that there’s a surprisingly large number of relatively minor cults at work - even more than there are in San Francisco, and Vibora Bay - and there’s a surprisingly large amount of co-operation between them. They seem to have divided the town into nine sections. And a lot of them refer to the East. Certainly sounds like it’s connected to the whole Feng Shui deal that the superteam has been uncovering over the last year. Hero Shrew: You know, I have to wonder if we’d be a more successful superteam if the Feng-Shui of our secret base was better. But the Magus has a few problems too - he completely missed the fact that the entire city is Aspected, and the two biggest targets of his attention are things he really doesn’t want to interact with. Hero Shrew OoC: Just as well he knows an entire team of useful idiots. So eventually he tracks Flux down, while the team is on patrol. Flux and Fireflash ask him if he knows about how somebody was trying to alter the Feng-Shui of the entire city. To the point of hiring supervillains to help. Magus: … that is a f***load of geomancy. GM: I did some research into large scale geomancy, and the biggest one I could find was the Forbidden City. Fireflash: Which would fit into one section of Edge City with plenty of room to spare. Magus: Well that’s mildly terrifying. Flux could probably offer more insight, but then he’s never got on well with the more traditional magic-workers in the region. Flux: I ask questions about conductors and resistors and they look at me funny. But comparing notes does reveal something a little alarming about the geomancy of Edge City. As well as all the Feng-Shui slapped over the town, there’s a major leyline running right across the centre of town - one that now runs exactly along the bridge across the bay, under Corporate Circle, and ending in Lake Effinger. Where something magical and Atlantean and some fire-underwater has been humming away for an unknown length of time. Possibly predating the day that experimental fusion reactor nearly wiped California and adjacent regions off the map. GM: Portland would have been a seaside town. Magus: So you’re telling me it was all planned by Lex Luthor. So despite all the headaches it’s been giving us, the current situation is still preferable to the alternative. Although the fact that at least two other leylines cross the Corporate Circle, intersecting at a pleasant little park with large rocks artfully placed around, is now highly suspicious. Flux: Crap. I’m going to have to consult a druid. Or a geomancer. Or possibly both. And another leyline ends at the highway cloverleaf nicknamed the Infinity Interchange. GM: So despite Edge City being built on biotech as its primary industry, somebody has been deliberately designing the place as an innately magical city. Or at least two somebodies. Magus: They’ve been trying to use Western Geomancy AND Eastern Geomancy. No wonder it’s such a mess. Hardlight: I guess we’re taking the Quadraphibious Qruiser to the bottom of Lake Effinger then? Magus: My theory is that the CEO of LowellTech is behind the Western Geomancy half of it - I know he has a bunch of druids working under him. Flux: … no, no, we checked him. He’s harmless. Good-natured, but a bit of an idiot. Magus: Being an idiot doesn’t preclude him being responsible. Flux: … give me a minute, I need to make a phone call. Hey, Hardlight, you didn’t sign off on any city restructuring a few years back, did you? Flux: I need to check exactly when that park got laid out. If the Low-Carb Druids have f***ed things up again they are going to be in so much trouble. The thing with the hobos was bad enough. Magus: … what? But it does appear the purpose of the park at the ley nexus in Corporate Circle is to stop the geomantic power flowing into the area from building up catastrophically. Flux: Well at least they’re good at what they do. They didn’t ASK, or tell anybody what they were doing, but it was good work at least. At least the local gang situation has been quiet, while everybody waits to see how the federal case against Humanity First shakes out. Taking over much of a city’s street-level supercrime is one thing, but attracting a full federal response is something else entirely.

Pathfginder: The Mummy's Mask : How To Win Friends And Influence People Despite nearly dying in an assortment of horrible ways, we DO unbox somebody who’s been stuck down here for thousands of years, and for SOME reason (can’t think why) is a bit upset with the Sky Pharoah. Jeshura: Hakotep's lapdogs! All of the sky pharoah's underlings will die a thousand times over before I am done! Nemat: In the name of Wadjet BE QUIET! Zenobia attempts to Banish her, helped by the fact that Onka was still wearing the Mummy’s Mask, and Banishment is assisted if you are wielding something the target hates, fears or opposes. Nemat: Just grab Onka by the back of his head and push him forward! Onka: Oi! Although there IS an anguished scream from somewhere to the south as Jeshura vanishes. Onka suspects she got got by an anti-teleportation trap. She’s still out there somewhere, but not in this chamber. Nemat: That’s frustrating, but funny. Zenobia: A problem for Future Zenobia. It turns out that being released from a sarcophagus after a few thousand years, and a few seconds later being magically stuffed into another cell, has broken her. She throws herself on our mercy. We do our best to talk her around to our point of view. Zenobia: Before… before I became what I am today, I was a monster. Of a race of monsters. My kind did... Unspeakable things. But through Sarenrae I was given a second chance. And in redeeming myself I have found true friends, a true chance to build, to protect, and to heal. We seek to cast down the works of the Sky Pharoah - if you help us do that, it will go a long way to purging yourself of your past sins. Nemat makes her swear an oath to assist us, and disables the enchantments on the cell, and Zenobia helps her to her feet. Zenobia: Come sister - we have much to do. GM: So now you’ve picked up another GM NPC for me to worry about - well done. Zenobia OoC: The subtitle for this campaign should be How To Win Friends And Influence People. Admittedly, Zenobia’s fiancée is a bit put out. Not only because of her own personal history with Divs. Asrian: If she ever takes your pants down I’m cutting off everything you’ve got. Zenobia: … fair enough. It’s probably really unfortunate that Jeshura resurrected herself in the form of a Pairaka back before she got stuck in the sarcophagus - Pairakas are an embodiment of corruption and disease that sabotage the relationships and links that make up a community. They specialize in manipulating human sexuality and taboo desires. There are going to be soap opera shenanigans in the near future, even with Jeshura’s magical oath to follow the path of redemption. At least she was a close associate of Hakotep I back in the day, so her insider knowledge is going to be invaluable. While Asrian is working on a series of magically locked doors, Zenobia helps with Jeshura’s modesty with some spare clothes, and Nemat’s Sleeves of Many Garments. Although given that Pairakas have a permanent Shape Change going, to conceal their grotesquely diseased natural form, it probably isn’t strictly necessary. Then we get spotted by a bunch of patrolling animal-headed constructs. GM: Jeshura thinks very hard about betraying all of you, but doesn’t. Onka: I’m sure our leader would spot an illusion. Nemat: Wait, what? Since when was I the leader? When was this decided? Onka: Everybody that wants to vote Nemat as leader, hands up. Zenobia: I thought we were an anarcho-syndicalist collective. The floor is one room is suspiciously covered in sand. Zenobia attempts to prevent any surprises by repaving the entire room with Stone Shape. Nemat: AHAHAHA. That’s brilliant - Zenobia, re-tile it. Onka: ‘Why do we hear tiny screams?’ ‘Oh, that’s the elemental under the floor’ ‘Help Meeeee’ Helpfully, the next bunch of burial chambers include plenty of evidence of the moral character of those interred. And plenty of quite nasty traps to disable as well. Asrian: I’m starting to feel less bad about violating their final resting places. Although, since Asrian is the one attempting to disable each trap, Zenobia is rapidly developing an anxiety disorder. Nemat: That’s the equivalent of eating the seat of someone’s soul. Onka: Pretty bad then? Nemat: The blackest of necromantic acts. So we’re not doing that. GM: The option is still there. Nemat: The option is still there for me to beat you around the head with my morning star. Onka: So what I’m hearing is ‘Don’t Get Caught’. Unfortunately one of the chambers is such a challenge to the wit and sensibilities of half of the party that we linger a little too long, despite the angles of the room being distinctly non-euclidean. GM: I’ll give you a choice - do you want to face more animal-headed constructs, or Hounds of Tindalos? Zenobia uses another Stone Shape to trap the regenerating monsters in their alcoves. Asrian: And now they’re stuck in there forever, or at least until some future archeologist says “I’ve read there were animal-headed constructs in this tomb, but clearly they are mythical - pass me that sledgehammer.” Zenobia: We might want to paint a warning on that wall. Nemat: No-one will pay attention! Do we? Well, we do, usually, but not ALL the time! Onka Summons a pair of Aurochs to trample the surviving construct flat, which admittedly isn’t out-of-character for an Auroch or for that matter most large herbivores, who really don’t need an excuse. GM: The Black Djinn stands and greets you politely. Zenobia: That makes a change. Black Djinn: I’ve been waiting for you, tomb-robbers - is it time for our final battle. Onka: All together now - All: We’re not tomb-robbers, we’re archeologists. Black Djinn: Either I will slay you or you will slay me - I accept either resolution. Zenobia: I DO have one more Banishment saved up for today… Nemat: Option Three it is then. Unfortunately, since she’s Bound to the complex, she ain’t going anywhere. Worse, since Black Djinn hate religion and especially hate good gods, Zenobia is right at the top of the list of ‘People To Be Bisected’. Happily Asrian and Nemat are willing to throw themselves in the way, with Onka and Jeshura in the rear ranks - just as well, since some of the prayers Zenobia can wield would do bad things to the half-orc and the Pairika. Onka was born in the jungles south of Osiria, and is familiar enough with the ruins of the Shory cities there to note something odd about the Djinn’s model city - the skyline is wrong. Nemat gets very excited, and uses the Automatic Cartographer to make a copy, and runs out to consult Tef-Naju. He doesn’t recognise it or the puzzle. Jeshura, on the other hand WAS a Shory, and instantly realises what needs to be slid around to make the model match reality. Some rather valuable stuff is revealed, although hopefully we won’t need to use the Oil of Life that was in the cache as well. Some stairs leading to the Sun Disc activation area are also convenient to hand. Nemat is quite glad he can put the maps we’ve been making away - they were getting a bit large and awkward. We can finally activate the Slave Trenches! Arcane electricity flickers and dances through the complex and between the hundreds of obelisks! Asrian OoC: We finally have the Iludium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator. But it looks like it will take a while for them to warm up. After well over 24 hours of running around, trying to set up the complex before it all shuts done again, we can finally level up in time for the Final Boss Fight. Asrian casts Restful Sleep on the party to ensure we’re all at our best for when the pyramid arrives. Zenobia: Time for Snuggling! GM: Near sunset, you see a pyramid flying towards your position, over the dunes. It’s quite a bit larger than the last one. And the moment it has line of sight, it opens fire on the Sun Disc. Zenobia: Well, crap. *dives for cover* Onka, on the other hand, can use Nemat’s suggestion of the spell Wall of Split Illumination to stop the beam. It doesn’t stop at least four Ossumentals from sweeping in from the rest of the Slave Trenches. This is less than ideal. They are powerful, difficult to destroy, and intent on smashing the Sun Disc before the pyramid smashes itself on the ground. Happily, Zenobia and her teammates are capable of some useful new prayers and spells now. Such as Sunbeam, which against undead is practically an anti-tank laser cannon, if you used one against ranks of infantry. Zenobia: The Dawnflower is with us, today

Weldun: I've image-filtered my way into cheesecake territory - f*** my life.

Champions : Return To Edge City : Scooter vs. The Human Pretzel A warning in advance - events in this episode have been planned months in advance, and it's total coincidence that they happened the same week that the protests kicked off in the States. The parallels certainly upset some of the players, but were not intentional. The Magus has used a spell to locate the salvaged Black Smoke Projector, and tracked it to Bayside Industrial, an area of Edge City that boomed before the whole ‘fusion reactor went BOOM’ situation on S-Day, and now has lots of derelict chemical storage facilities and abandoned warehouses. Hero Shrew: Well, just as long as it isn’t Axis Chemicals. Hero Shrew is quite pleased, since he’ll probably get to punch somebody, something he hasn’t had a chance to do in months. Better yet, they’re Humanity First, planning a terror attack with chemical weapons, so he can hit them as hard as he likes and still have the moral high ground. Grabbing them by the heads and introducing them to the concept of autocolonoscopy might be going a bit far, though. GM: Just don’t punch them into the chemical weapon. Flux’s Player: They might have 30 character points to spend and come back as a supervillain. On the other hand, at least Scooter is forward-thinking enough today to ask how long fire sprinklers actually run for, once they’re set off. And most of them are mechanically triggered, so Flux can’t set them off with his hacking magic. Worse, since it’s a chemical warehouse it’s entirely possible the fire suppression isn’t even water based, which will be no help at all if the Black Smoke Generator goes off. Watching the building lets us see that they have guards patrolling, and that their patrol patterns are annoyingly competent. Not that it matters much, since some of us can fly while invisible, and Scooter can tunnel through solid concrete. Complicated plans are made to synchronise and navigate the prongs of the attack. Magus: Alternatively, I can teleport us all in. All: *turn to look at him* Hardlight: You can do that??? Magus: I was waiting for that >:) On the other hand, the tracking spell is telling us that the Black Smoke Generator is somehow filling the entire chemical production facility. Which is EXTREMELY worrying, since it implies they’re making the stuff. We should probably tell the police to turn up with full breathing apparatus, or better yet stay well back and send in firefighters with same, and all hoses going. Since the building was used for making industrial spray-painting equipment and paint, we’d better make sure to avoid anybody carrying some kind of backpack or pushcart compressor. Unfortunately Hardlight IS injured by the Magus’ teleport, since he’s susceptible to unnatural darkness, and he lost his connection to the crystal that gives him his powers. Nonetheless, the mook we appear next to is about to have a Very Bad Day. Hero Shrew: Let’s hope that employment by Humanity First offers good Dental. It looks like Humanity First have at least one supermerc on the books, and a number of early-model powersuits with in-built threat analysis. That might be a problem, if punching them through walls as soon as we see them doesn’t work. Breaker: Oh ****! *goes for his guns* Flux: Right, targeting him - Always go for the talkie ones first. The Magus drops his target into an illusionary Hero Trip, where us superhuman freaks just can’t hit him. That should keep him busy, even though the powersuited guy had some kind of unexpected mental defence. Quite a surprise in somebody that should just be an armoured mook. Evidently Humanity First went to the trouble of giving these guys special training, but they have been planning to fight metahumans for decades. Which probably explains how a basic unarmoured mook manages to put Scooter on the ground, even though the Moreau was rushing forward at full speed with the intent of knocking his head off. The powersuits also have flight capability. GM: And probably flamethrowers. Magus OoC: Next to the swastika ninja-stars. GM: Mook 3 is going to have bragging rights in prison, since it took two of the supers to take him down. Unfortunately it wasn’t Fireflash and Nocturne. Or more likely won’t survive to boast, because Hero Shrew has no particular inclination to hold back, and his forcefield fails to activate both times. Hero Shrew OoC: It’s ironic that this guy is against Moreaus, since I’m about to turn him from plantigrade to digitigrade. By putting some extra bends in his legs. Hardlight is certainly upset, since he has a total Code vs. Killing, and turning a human into a pretzel is rarely conducive to their health. Hardlight: Scooter, NO!!!! Flux: Welp, they’ve just murdered somebody over there - I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that. That does take Hardlight out of the fight, though, since Gareth spends the rest of it trying to stop Mook 3 from bleeding out from his numerous open fractures. It’s probably fortunate that Fireflash can’t see what happened over there either, although she does hear Hardlight yelling for medical assistance from the Magus. GM: The forcefield belts that the Mooks are using are the same model VIPER used to use. They stopped using them for a couple of reasons. One of them was the position of the powercell. ‘You weren’t planning on having kids, right?’. They weren’t quite that bad but the rumour was bad enough. The other reason was that the charge on the batteries meant that if someone like Scooter did something like what Scooter just did, the paramedic that showed up to stop them bleeding out couldn’t help them because the forcefield was still running. So in that respect it’s sort of okay that the forcefield didn’t actually turn on? Magus: On the other hand, if they DID produce exotic radiation, they’ve increased their chances of having superpowered kids. The mooks at the gate and on patrol leg it as soon as they realise the heavies and mooks in the warehouse aren’t reporting in. Hardlight bubbles Scooter before he can find any more racists to mangle. Scooter IS looking rather more intently serious than they’ve seen him before. He and Fireflash get into a screaming match - these a**holes WERE intending to murder everybody he grew up with, after all. Hardlight: Scooter, when you signed up with this team you agreed to help the people of Edge City. ALL the people. Yes, these people are awful, but that means we take them into custody and put them through a court of law. What you just did was lethal force against an unarmed opponent. That is NOT ACCEPTABLE. Fireflash flies off, sobbing, but Scooter does not seem remotely chastised. At least securing the Black Smoke, which had been decanted into individual sprayers to reduce the chance that Humanity First would accidentally kill any humans, is straightforward enough. It’s certainly enough to get everybody charged with multiple terrorism offenses. Fireflash: Well, I hope they enjoy their time in Guantanamo Bay. But there are going to be consequences from the fight. He’s lost Fireflash’s trust for one thing. And then there’s the fallout from when The Rep finds out what Scooter did. The Rep: Scooter, it doesn’t matter if you are right or wrong, it’s the optics, baby. You’re the face of Moreaus. If you kill a human. Moreaus. Kill. Humans. The Magus OoC: The worst part of it is that you’re being told off by a sleaze. Scooter OoC: Yeah, that might actually make me feel bad.

Pathfinder : The Mummy's Mask : The Scent Of Burning Feathers Nemat’s Player: Apparently we’ve missed a lot of stuff in this campaign because we actually talk to people. And aren’t psychopaths. Onka’s Player: It’s like we actually get paid to do our job - archeology. Zenobia’s Player: Although I don’t think we’ll be returning some of this stuff to the people that made them - under any circumstances. On the way to the final activation point, we nearly have a major dust-up between a Phoenix, a Roc, and a Sphinx land on top of us. A feather-dust-up, as it were. Nemat: Onka? Fireball that. It’s a good idea - it’s not like the Phoenix will be hurt by the fire and it’s clearly outnumbered by the other two monsters. Zenobia has a few helpful spells along that line too - it’s so helpful when divine destruction can make moral judgements on your behalf. Before long the Phoenix is actually intervening on the Sphinx’s behalf before we finish it off. Nemat to the Sphinx: Are you going to be a problem? Sphinx: *feeble squawk* Onka is heading over to the roast Roc. Onka: I don’t think we have a big enough bag for this. Actually, after he clambers all over the corpse, and marinades it with Unguent of Timelessness, he actually manages to stuff the entire thing into a Bag of Holding. Onka: It belongs in a museum. Zenobia: We’ll have it stuffed. Nemat: Hire some taxidermists. Emphasis on the plural. The Sphinx recoils from the Phoenix’s healing touch, hisses ”Our deal is finished - we are EVEN” and flaps off back to its clock. The Phoenix had come to investigate why the magic around the Slave Trench had suddenly lit up like Las Vegas. Nemat: Oh, that’s just us - we’re about to crash a pyramid here. At least, I think it’s going to be here. Onka, before we flip the final switch we’d better check that. If you’ve read any of the accounts of the Fall of the Shory you have to think about these kinds of things. Some of those mountain ranges over there didn’t exist before then. The Roc was upset by the Slave Trenches activating, and the Sphinx was just a dick. Tef-Naju and the Phoenix can’t help us in the next section - the latter won’t fit, and the former has been barred from ever entering the area. Onka can’t even get his mecha-suit in. We’re on our own from here. And some of the traps are very cunning indeed.

Pathfinder : The Mummy's Mask : Wedding Plans We've brought down one of the Forgotten Pharoah's flying pyramids, onto the fields outside Wati - a much better option than bringing it down on the city. GM: Wati is safe - for now. Onka: Unless you built your house just there. Nemat OoC: ‘my cabbages!' Asrian: Zenobia wants to meet my parents, and I do want to make sure my family are OK. Zenobia: And that’s something that makes me much more nervous than assaulting the giant floating pyramid. I have NO IDEA what to do when asking for somebody’s hand in marriage. Onka OoC: It’s like an anime, it writes itself. Asrian OoC: At least it’s not a harem anime. Zenobia OoC: I mean when David asked for somebody’s hand in marriage he got sent out to collect 200 Philistine foreskins. Gnolls don’t do that - we wouldn’t let the rest of the meat go to waste. Zenobia: Is there some kind of traditional gift I should take? I have no idea! … I NEED TO BATHE. Nemat: Yes, yes you do. Here’s some scented soaps and oils. And rub this into your fur when you get out. I’ve had this bundle waiting to go for months. Zenobia: Squee! Happily there’s some nice loot that Zenobia can offer as a greeting gift, and after that, to Asrian’s parent for her hand in marriage - a polished darkwood chalice and a silver egg with an encircling dragon. Valuable, and symbolically appropriate too. And a platinum comb, but Zenobia’s holding onto that for later. There’s also that Rod of Splendour, which also enhances Charisma, but Asrian already has a Charisma enhancer. Zenobia OoC: And if Asrian came in carrying both, I’d probably lose the power of speech. At least Asrian’s large family don’t throw Zenobia out of the house - in fact if anything they seem more surprised that Asrian is marrying another woman, than marrying a gnoll. But either way, any plans for setting the marriage date will have to wait until after we’ve dealt with the returned Pharoah. That doesn’t stop Zenobia looking at potential homes to buy. Of course we all do a stint at our respective temples. Nemat’s god Wadjet might not be much worshipped in Osiron these days, but there was a small shrine to Wadjet built on the location of the town’s founding, and various city rituals consider the site significant. Nemat has an eye on Ubet’s Folly, a ruined fortress modelled after a sphinx, as a future rebuilding project. But at least we know where we’re going now, and haven’t offended any of the various temples before we head up river - the Slave Trenches are probably defended, but we’ve killed so many of the Sky Pharoah’s cultists that his intelligence-gathering network is probably in ruins. On the other hand, there's also some 17sq.miles. of slave trenches to search. Happily we’ve got those Immovable Rods to use as a ladder in thin air, so we can get up high enough to study the layout, or at least compare to what we get on the Automatic Cartographer. The trenches spell out, depending on whether you read them from east to west or otherwise, “The Sun And Sky Are Bound To The Stones Below” and “Let Earth Call Down And Bind The Sky”. A useful hint as to which parts we activate first, assuming the other objects we might need are actually around here. There’s also an Ominous Hum. Also oversized earth elementals. Hopefully its gemstone eyes weren’t something we needed, because Zenobia Banishes it to its home plane. And various entrances to buried temples, and so on, so it looks like there will be some dungeon crawling on top of the open-air combat archeology. We’re using Gnoll as our battle-cant, since we can all speak it. Nemat: And it will disconcert our enemies to see a mostly human party attacking while talking in yips and growls. Asrian doesn’t know as many languages as her fiancé.. Zenobia OoC: So I’m the cunning linguist? *wagging long gnoll tongue* Asrian: *grin* oh, absolutely. We also find what appears to be a particle accelerator, but standing in the middle of the barrel is probably a bad idea since we’re not playing Marvel Superheroes. Nemat’s Player: Or Champions, with 30 unspent XP. One major fight we avoid because of your average adventurer’s resemblance to a magpie, and tendency to grab anything shiny. At least the unworked tunnels are illuminated by glowing lichen, although we probably shouldn’t eat it. Asrian: It’s put there by the gods, to help adventurers that didn’t bring enough lanterns. Zenobia: That or phosphorescent crystals, or mysterious sourceless glows, that sort of thing. Of course lichen that is both glowing AND writhing is even more unappetising. Especially combined with laughing coming from the walls. We have a major problem - a haunt-controlling undead that has just hit us with panic, compulsion, and blinding attacks. Asrian, for example, seems determined to eat the lichen. Zenobia OoC: I could make a very off-colour joke here but I won’t. But at least we survived it, without gouging out our own eyeballs or eating random bush. And now knowing the kind of thing we have to deal with down here, Nemat figures out a way to get past them. Nemat: Asrian, put your hand on Zenobia’s shoulder. Asrian: Does it have to be her shoulder? Nemat: I’d prefer you to be able to concentrate on keeping your eyes closed. Of course, creepy kid voices saying “Oh, so that’s the pharaoh’s form these days.” and “He might actually survive the test.” is even more ominous. Especially when they follow it up with a permanently blinding attack on the entire party. Happily, whatever these things are, they’re not immune to being turned into bunny rabbits. Unfortunately they’re still bunnies with laser beams. Zenobia: Bunnies with frickin’ lasers is not how I wanted to die! Onka: I’ll be sure to put that on your tombstone, if I survive the next two minutes. Tragically, it looks like we’re going to have to make a tombstone for Nemat, because Zenobia is too bady stunned to stop him from dying from his injuries, and he is in a really, really bad way. Zenobia: He can’t die! He was coming to our wedding! At least Onka discovered that if he closes all the portholes on his mecha suit, he’s protected from these creature’s searing light. And they are both vulnerable to Phantasmal Web. Creepy Children: Well, this new form of the Pharaoh is quite powerful - and despite everything we threw at him he actually protected some of his friends! Nemat: I. Still. Fight! Creepy Children: His powerful companions. And then the illusions on the room drop. Nemat OoC: Are you ****ing kidding me. GM: I did say it was a trial. Asrian: At least the bunny bleeds out from the wounds I hit it with. We’re probably EXTREMELY lucky that they mistook one of us for the Pharaoh, or they would have finished us off instead of ending the test and buggering off where-ever they came from. We do hit a slight roadblock, after resting and patching each other up - there’s a set of token here that might be some kind of communication device, or possibly summon a giant carnivorous bird into a small room. Nobody is eager to find out which. At least one of the tokens turns out to be the former, and the person at the other end is apparently somewhere else in the Slave Trenches, bored, and excited that somebody is in contact with him. Tef-Naju: Who is this? How did you get this number? And what are you doing that close to the second Sphere of Activation? Nemat: I am here to serve the Pharaoh Khemet III. Tef-Naju: Ah, so that is who rules Osirion in this century. Asrian: I assume you’re a servant of the Sky Pharaoh? Tef-Naju: Not by choice. Tef-Naju has apparently been bound to protect the Slave Trenches until the Sky Pharoah won his war with the Shory. Since that war never really reached a proper climax, he’s been stuck here for thousands of years. He is quite interested in a loophole Asrian suggests, which would certainly end the war, and probably leave an even bigger crater than the one now outside Wati. Tef-Naju: Wait there, I’m coming over. Tef-Naju: Well, you’re a varied lot. Nemat: Yes, but we’re all archeologists. Tef-Naju: One of you is a gnoll. Nemat: Your point? Zenobia: I’m mostly the expedition medic. Tef-Naju: Hmm. *peers suspiciously at the mask Onka is wearing* Why do I feel like I’m in the presence of my boss? Nemat: Because you are. Onka: Technically. Nemat: The mask contains one aspect of Hakotep’s spirit. So technically, whatever we do with the Slave Trenches, it’ll be the Sky Pharoah doing it. Asrian: Everybody wins! Onka: Except the Sky Pharoah. He’s going to be pissed. Asrian: Yeah, but he doesn’t deserve to win. Tef-Naju is happy to give us a guided tour of the place, and warn us about some of the nastier traps. After all, he can always claim he was giving his boss a project update. He can’t tell us whose bright idea it was to mummify and animate an adult Spinosaurus, or who told his boss that a Roc would be a good pet. He CAN tell us some of the stuff that Nemat hadn’t already figured out about activating the Slave Trenches, and yanking the Sky Pharaoh’s pyramid out of the sky. We do come across a Stone Maiden as we're traversing the miles of trenches. Zenobia: A girlfriend for you, Nemat. Nemat: No, that’s Tef-Naju’s GF. Zenobia: Love triangle! GM: You have a pleasant evening, because you’re not ****ing murder-hoboes. It’s at this point that Tef-Naju explains that we haven’t actually activated all the mystic statues we’ve been locating yet, so we have to do a lot of backtracking in the morning. Nemet’s player: If it wasn’t for the fact he could kill us all with a wave of his hand, I’d reach across and slap him. GM: Are you talking to Tef-Naju or me? It certainly helps that we have Onka in the party, who makes constructs and poppets with some regularity, because some of the constructs wandering around are nicely vulnerable to his Control Construct spell. Onka: Is its creator around? Because if they are I have questions. We do find a workshop for making soul-bound constructs, and the surprisingly easy instructions for making them. We stash most of them in Onka’s private workshop dimension. Nemat: Well worth doing if you want an army of them. Zenobia: Is that really something we want to publicise? Nemat: What? Zenobia: So you’re not going to include the process when you write up this expedition? Onka: Oh, no, we’re not going to publicise the process. Nemat: We’re just going to report that we found it. Nemat: That is clearly a tomb-robber trap. Zenobia: And we’re not tomb-robbers, we’re archeologists. We also find a bunch of preserved centipede things, they are apparently supposed to be swallowed for knowledge. GM: When you open the jar the thing immediately springs to life and starts crawling up your arm towards your mouth. Zenobia: May I take this opportunity to register my reservations about this? Asrian: I’m surprised you’re the one with reservations. Zenobia: There are a LOT of things about my old diet that I regret, dear. The one that Nemat swallows apparently does nothing but puncture his throat-lining and dissolve into goo. Nemat: I think that one had gone off. He tries a few more, with mixed results. Zenobia: Well, I’m relieved - I was half-expecting you to be possessed by the personality of the original donor. Nemat: Are you sure you don’t want to try one of these, Zenobia? Onka: ‘Slimy, but satisfying’ In the next room we find out what the centipedes grow into. It is not a pleasant discovery. The defences in the control room aren’t particularly pleasant either, but at least we can disable them before we start pushing buttons. In theory. At least Zenobia’s Searing Ray is quite effective. Zenobia OoC: Gnolls with frickin’ laser beams. Onka: I’m chargin’ mah lazer! GM: SHOOP DA WHOOP GM: You and Asrian are a good team. Zenobia: I’m aware But we should be able to call the pyramid down now. At something approaching escape velocity, in the middle of the desert, would be nice, but it seems likely it will want to return to the launch pad just west of the Slave Trenches, and that kind of impact is nothing we would want to be near, since the crater alone would be 5km across, and 500m deep.

Champions : Return to Edge City : Salvage Rites GM: Facing is important in this game. That’s the advantage of this standee - it has an ass. Hero Shrew: We’d better give the concierge the heads up. GM: Con.. see.. Urge? Flux: There’s a guy behind a barred window with a ringful of keys hanging next to him. Hero Shrew: Well, anyway, this guy isn’t a Moreau, he’s a demon, don’t pick a fight with him, because if anybody does no-one can prove it was our fault. GM: Half of Chinatown saw you walk the guy into the Zoo. Fireflash: This whole situation is very close to ‘not our problem’ Hero Shrew: It would still be funny to see if the mercenaries try to fight the demon. But she does have a point - we COULD just leave the demon to find the mercenaries by himself - why get involved? Hero Shrew: I thought ‘too much responsibility’ was a universal problem in superheroes. Maybe we should just leave him in the hotel room with a tablet and a wifi connection, and a quick primer on how Google works. It’s not like crime in Edge City takes a day off just because we’re busy. The Quadrant Crime Computer sends us a ping, regarding the city library in Old Downtown. It’s picked up social media queries from a known Humanity First member. Of course this happens at the same time Hardlight is at a board meeting about the ongoing diversification of Lowelltech interests. Apparently he’s looking up details on Dr .Siegfried Qual, Dr. Otto Clausenhausen, the “Dreadnaught" armour used in multiple destructive criminal rampages over the years since WWII, and something called the ÜBERSCHWERER KAMPFSCHREITPANZER, which doesn’t sound encouraging. Especially since it was colloquially known as ‘Thor’s Hammer’. Flux: *sigh* It’s always Nazis. He’s also looking up something about a particular storm off the Californian coastline in 1946, and a particular location. GM: Qual and Clausenhausen vanished at the end of the War. Fireflash: Impromptu trip to South America? Flux and Scooter hurry to the library. Flux: It’s a library, so shush. Hero Shrew: Be wery wery qwiet, I’m hunting Nazis. We spot the Humanity First member leaving the library, and tail him. GM: He goes into a Dennys. Hero Shrew: Well clearly he’s corrupt to the core. Hero Shrew heads in as well, and gets himself a takeaway lunch. Hero Shrew: Entirely in character as well, since I’m corrupt to the core too. But why in hell is their Star War- themed meal with two fried eggs called Two Moons instead of Twin Suns? We continue tailing him, although it seems to be a dead-end lead. Hero Shrew: He hasn’t done anything illegal yet, but he’s a Neo-Nazi so it’s only a matter of time. Fireflash taks advantage of a nice bright sunny day to stop anybody looking up, while she investigates that location offshore, where something dodgy is going on. It almost certainly violates the international Marine Salvage Convention, even if they don’t have anything specific about vintage machine gun turrets being hoisted onto barges. Hardlight’s Player: *types in "Rules about Salvaging nazi objects" into google... mashes delete before he hits enter* Fireflash is happily aware that US federal criminal law considers machine guns a restricted item (in fact it considers them weapons of mass destruction) and that’s more than enough excuse to stick her nose in. Fireflash: Did you know you’ll need a permit to bring that thing in to shore? Salvagers: Um, no? Thanks for letting us know. Get on the radio, tell them we need a permit. Fireflash OoC: What they don’t know and I do is that permits pertaining to machine guns take at least 30 days to come through. We COULD ask those marine Moreaus to investigate, but only Allana knows about them. The salvage crew agree to meet up with the Coast Guard on their way in, and hand over the machine guns. That doesn’t explain where they’re finding all these machine guns. And flak cannons. And what is almost certainly the Überschwerer Kampfschreitpanzer, in very good condition. Fireflash: What on EARTH is that doing on THIS coast? How did you find it? Salvagers: Good old human ingenuity, freak. Well, that certainly confirms that they’re scum. Fireflash lets them putter off towards shore, and dives down to see what they were salvaging. They probably didn’t expect a fire-themed superhero could fly underwater, but her powers are actually light-based. They probably also won’t appreciate that the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives has been warned they’re coming. And the Coast Guard are probably going to want to know the location of a Nazi wreck with an unknown amount of unexploded ordance on board. Unfortunately it looks like whoever is handling things on shore for them is very efficient - Customs are taking an interest, of course, but they already have a buyer lined up, and all their bills of lading are in order. Perfect order. For some reason someone is shining a laser pointer into Fireflash’s eyes. It isn’t hurting her, or even dazzling her, but it is annoying. It’s Hank Flitch, the leader of Humanity First. He’s trying to get Fireflash’s attention, and nodding towards an alcove, and gesturing to the rear of a pillar. Fireflash strolls over later, and retrieves a folded up piece of paper. It says ‘Lake Park, North Lake’ and a time. Presumably today. Hero Shrew: You want us to stop following this guy? Flux: Please say yes, Denny’s is starting to look appetising. We meet up Flitch: Miss Helstrom. I really hate having to reach out to you like this. This whole salvage thing? The first I heard about it was when the news hit the news. Fireflash: But you’re in charge of Humanity First. Flitch: Nah, I’m just a political activist. This has Lang all over it. Martin Lang is his 2IC, with a known skill in Urban Combat Armour, which is worrying given the likely purpose of the Überschwerer Kampfschreitpanzer. Apparently there was something ELSE in the wreck, something so beyond the pale that even Flitch never wanted to see it used. So we’d better get back to the wreck before Lang and the others do. Just as well we’ve got that Quadraphibious Qruiser, and Flitch gave us the rough coordinates of the wreck. Our vehicle moves about the depths, peering about with our various senses, until something looms out of the dark. Something with a disk-shaped body, three jointed legs, and metallic tendrils. Hardlight OoC: Ull-laaaaaaa. (at this point, between sessions, Allana’s player had a catastrophic hard drive failure, and recreating Allana from scratch would have been a major pain - so he’s introducing a new character, while the Bat-Moreau focuses her attention on her clinic. On the other hand, he also found out some details of international salvage law, which means those Humanity First guys who were looting the wreck don’t have a leg to stand on, since the wreck is clearly still the property of Germany, and the Maritime Courts have absolutely no sense of humour.) A few weeks after we uncovered the plan, we find out what it is they were actually bringing to the surface - the new PC introduces himself to Fireflash as the Magus, and a scholar of the history of the world. It’s useful information, since it’s not like any of us would have realised it was a Martian Tripod Black Smoke Generator that was stolen. Magus: I’ll be around this part of California for at least the next few weeks, and I’d rather not die. Fireflash nips into the Ladies to switch into her other identity, GM: Most superheroines put on LESS clothing when they change into their superheroic identities. Hardlight: My first impression is ‘Who’s this douchebag?’ GM: Don’t worry, I’m sure he has the same impression of you. Hardlight: He’s wearing eyeliner. And he looks like he escaped from a Harry Dresden novel. Magus OoC: … that’s not entirely inaccurate. Fireflash: This is Mr. Magus. Magus: *sigh* that’s going to be my name from now on, isn’t it? Anyway, I understand you were involved in the recent salvage situation? Hero Shrew: Well, it was mostly Fireflash. And funnily enough the leader of Humanity First warned us about it, afterwards. Flux: Scooter, you are SO BAD at keeping secrets. Hero Shrew: Yes, yes I am. Hardlight: How did the Germans even get their hands on a Martian Tripod? Hero Shrew: Probably one of the ones in the English Channel that the Thunderchild took out. (although in the Champions Universe the ‘Martians’ attacked New Jersey in the 1930s, so they’re evidently going with the Orson Welles timeline - we chose to push it back to the 1890s) At least Black Smoke can be neutralised by water, or steam. Unfortunately, we’re heading into a Californian summer. We should probably let the authorities know that the racists have a chemical weapon that can kill everybody in the Zoo. Allana/Magus’s Player: Allana has been gone for an hour and we’re about to have the biggest Gang War in US history. ‘I piss further because I stand on the shoulders of giants’ We decide to tell the Moreau council that they have to make sure that every sprinkler in the Zoo is in working order. Magus/Allana’s Player: After all the Furies DID burn down a building last week GM: I think I need to go Vape. Hardlight just had the beginnings of a good idea. Fireflash: I’ve had enough of these people - we know where Humanity First meets, let’s go give them a lesson in realpolitik. Of course, if they think they’re about to be caught, they might very well set off the projector wherever they are. At least we can use the Law of Contagion, so the Magus or Flux can use the tripod wreckage to locate the black smoke generator. Hero Shrew: So, how much do you want ME to tell the Moreau council about the threat, since I can’t keep a secret? Hardlight: Ah… oof. Moreau Council: Scooter, Hardlight, what all this about? Hero Shrew: You know how we were looking into that warehouse fire the other week? Yeah - Hardlight can tell you the rest. Hardlight: Ha haha. Right. Um. Yeah. Well, it looks like Humanity First hired the Furies? And they might be planning further attacks? Allana: *facepalm* Simon: I was thinking Misters over the Agora would be a good idea - for the heat? Hero Shrew: *NOD NOD NOD* Allana: You’re all sensible people, we thought we should give you a heads-up. Hardlight: Thankyou, Allana. Flux: Will will miss you, Clue Bat. Shadehanger Jackson: Well, we were planning a fire readiness programme, since we’re going into the hotter months, and arson attacks were always a possibility - I wasn’t expecting an organised one though. Hero Shrew: *sotto voice* Yeah, let’s go with that. Out at sea in the Quadraphibious Qruiser, the Magus is waving an iron swastika around on a chain, to better locate the Nazi ship and its Martian cargo. Magus: Like calls to like. Flux: Damn, why didn’t I think of that. Magus: One of the most important things to learn about magic. Flux: After ‘which way round the warding goes’ GM: And the difference between Fireball and Soccer Ball, and why you shouldn’t kick the former. At least there doesn’t seem to be anything else hysterically dangerous on the wreck. GM: Depends what you count as hysterically dangerous. Unfortunately it looks like the Magus was right about what might have been on the ship before it sank - Walking Armour, for example. At least the Nazis didn’t have any nuclear weapons on board (we don’t have the spare XP to spend on radiation-induced character rewrites for one thing). Unfortunately we can’t just push the wreck into the Monterey Submarine Canyon and forget about it, so the whole salvage situation has just become more complicated. US Navy Salvage Unit: You’re telling me you’ve found a whole ship full of Nazi Wunderwaffen? Fireflash: Hopefully that'll light a fire under them. Hero Shrew: Hopefully not literally, given all the unexploded ordnance. The spell to locate the Black Smoke Projector should work really well, and it’s not something that Humanity First can prevent, even if they assume that ‘magic’ is just a delusion utilised by some supers. And the Magus can probably call down a 20 minute rainstorm, just in case they do set off the Black Smoke Projector. GM: uHHHHN, why did you guys suddenly have to start being competent. Admittedly the Magus doesn’t seem to be very impressed with Flux’s brand of magic - technomancy apparently ranks somewhere down near hedge wizardry.

Champions : Return to Edge City : The City-Planning Conspiracy I missed a session, where the rest of the team responded to a fire in a former maker space, turned data-storage, got into a fight with three Furies who had set the fire apparently because they objected to the Feng Shui of having a non-creative business in that location on the city map, and found clues about further mystical alignment conspiracies, and figured there is probably more of the same to come. Flux: And I got punted through a window. Or rather a wall. Hero Shrew OoC: And where was your team brick when you needed him? GM: Huh - of the twelve business council members, only seven are Caucasian - I didn’t intend that. Allana: It’s the most unrealistic thing in the setting. Hero Shrew: Centurion isn’t on the business council, is he? GM: No. He doesn’t actually have a presence in Edge City. Hero Shrew: Ah, I was probably misled by the way Gareth keeps muttering about him. GM provides us with the handles of those Sanity Liberation Front members we encountered the other week. GM: “TURT-L", "UP-LINE", "C47CH-22", "5463", "6L00M", "FLÛK", "FURY", "H0UND", "CRYP70N1C", "PR4NK573R", "5W4N" Hero Shrew: … what? How the hell do you pronounce 5463? Hardlight: Sage. Hero Shrew: Of course YOU’D know. Hero Shrew: Do we need to tweak the Crime Computer algorithm to flag possible Feng Shui crimes? Probably not practical, especially since if we really want to get serious about fighting Feng Shui crimes we’d have to move our own base. And since the school of mysticism doesn’t really use an idea of opposites, we can’t really paint a target around the bigger offenders. Fireflash suggests we consult an expert - and hope that they aren’t actually behind the city planning conspiracy. Hardlight: Maybe we should go looking for the Mysterious Oriental Shop? Flux: How much do you like living in this reality? Stay away from Mysterious Shops. Do we know any experts? No, but we know some supervillains. But Green Dragon is a complete d*** so probably not. Hardlight OoC: Somebody needs to take Knowledge : Feng Shui. Hero Shrew OoC: Bags not me. Hero Shrew: So the best we could get them with is ‘Conspiracy to Commit Arson’ Flux: But then I’d have to get a mystic expert to testify in court. GM: On the magical side of things you only have to prove that they BELIEVE it works. Allana: People have done all sorts of stupid stuff in the name of retarded ideas. Hero Shrew OoC: The difference is that in a superhero setting, sometimes the retarded ideas actually work. Hardlight: … no, too stupid. Hero Shrew: *head swivels towards Hardlight, privately thinking ‘Gareth thinks something is TOO STUPID???’* No no, Gareth, tell us what you think. Fireflash suggests that we lure them out by having Lowelltech build something completely inappropriate for the Feng Shui map, in the worst place possible. Flux continues his research, seeing if there’s a preponderance of Feng Shui-type crimes over the last 15 years, since S-Day. Fireflash looks for any oddities in zoning approval. Together they dig out a very suspicious pattern of burst water mains, and other convenient disasters, including a bizarrely localized rat infestation, that have strengthened the City Planning Conspiracy. They prepare a map. Allana: All you can see are the pins - all the strings are in AR. Fireflash: I’d have done it all in virtual reality myself. Allana: He switched to AR after he started having trouble getting around the room. The number of likely crimes dropped for a while 16 years ago, then spiked after the death of two early Edge City supers, Harrier and Hawkmoth, and it seems likely they were investigating the conspiracy at the time, based on sightings of the two at the time, and throwdowns with local gangs, and activity by the supervillian-for-hire Bulldozer. The crimes dropped back to a only occasional after that - perhaps the conspiracy only needed minor tweaks to stay on track. Hero Shrew: Well of COURSE you’d hire Bulldozer if you wanted some buildings knocked down. It’s not sure if Harrier and Hawkmoth were actually murdered by the City Planning Conspiracy, since they were murdered in their secret identities. While they were in bed. Together. Hardlight: Why would they be sharing a bed if they were in their secret iden- oh. GM: Humanity First sent out a very specific message - they did not kill them because they were gay. They were certainly happy to take credit for the kill, but they have nothing against same-sex relationships. Which points them at odds with some of their supporters, true. Either way, it’s evidence that the conspiracy has been around for at least 5 years before S-Day. Allana gets a call from her contact, the Silver Avenger. Silver Avenger: Why is your team asking about Harrier and Hawkmoth? Silver Avenger: Are you telling me that you’re investigating what got them killed 15 years ago? Because I’m telling you there’s NO way Humanity First figured out their secret identities back then. Hero Shrew: With all these real estate crimes is this just Scooby-Do writ large? Do we need to pull the face off the monster to see who it really is? Flux: Generally a bad idea Scooter. Usually what’s underneath is somebody’s skull. Allana: But if you get a chance to pull the face off the actual Monster, feel free - there’s money riding on whatever is under the mask. My bet is some kind of ghost robot. Allana: What we need is a psyker - we sit in a cafe near Humanity First’s offices and scan through their brains until we get the info we need. Hero Shrew OoC: What’s Zero doing these days? If we get him on his day off he’ll be happy to commit a crime. GM: Ah yes, the super with the flaw ‘Sense of Ethics (only in Super Identity)’. He was HAPPY to abuse his telepathy to get stock tips, but it took him FIVE YEARS to just yank the info he needed out of some thug. Flux OoC: Supers are weird. Hero Shrew’s player: Nope, MY CHARACTERS are weird. Hardlight: I still don’t trust that mechanical owl. Allana: It’s just a clockwork exoskeleton for a hamster. There’s also a chronological sequence in the crimes, working clockwise around the Feng Shui map. That might narrow down the next target - somewhere near the Laguna Complex megamall. All the industrial, freight, and warehouse districts down there would make for a complex Feng Shui pattern, but it does it easier for Lowelltech to set up a big juicy target. Assuming the capacitor bank for the nearest windfarm isn’t a big enough target, given it has nothing to do with travel or helpful people which would me more appropriate for the area on mystical grounds. Regarding a rabbit Moreau - Hero Shrew: How does she maintain a blood supply to those ears? Hardlight: *eyes drawn to another part of her anatomy* THAT’s your question? Not ‘How sore is her back?’ A subsequent bovine example is even more eye-catching. GM: Her poor back. Hero Shrew: And some genetic engineer was actually responsible for that. There’s been progress on the Moreau personhood movement, too - partly due to speciesism backfiring. GM: Some senator objected to granting the Moreaus personhood on the grounds that ‘we don’t know anything about them!’. So Doctor Silverback volunteered to lead an investigation team. The best biologist this side of the law, almost a Moreau himself, and recognised as a person under the Individual Emancipation Act. Hero Shrew: Let me guess, the senator got all stroppy? GM: The senator got told to sit down and shut up. By his own party. “Congratulations, you just helped expedite the process.” Doctor Silverback has already determined that some Moraeus are templates, and others are deliberately designed constructs. With the canines showing a much higher number of deliberate designs than other species. One even has a hero shrew spine to help with his speedster abilities. Of course one human journalist tracks down a construct Moreau and asks him what it feels to know he was made. Allana: ‘At least my designer was competent’? Max: I would already be dead by now. Most dogs don't live longer than fifteen years. No real friends or family. No hands. No music. No language. No peanut-butter and chocolate. No CHOCOLATE! No COFFEE! Allana: Good answer. Scooter and Allana, and every Steiner that gets tested, is a construct. Although it seems Dr. Steiner overlaid the construct elements over a pre-existing template. Allana: Made his own modifications to an off-the-shelf model. GM: Maybe. And apparently the Genex company has been investigating Laron Syndrome dwarfism to make a race of future spacers. The speciesists seize on the difference between templates and constructs, because of course they do. ‘You don’t DESIGN people!’. Senator: Templates might be one thing, they’re practically ordinary animals, but Constructs are clearly MADE! Allana: So were you - at least I was made by somebody with actual qualifications. Of course a certain group of ‘wolf-Moreaus’ are refusing testing. The fixer fox ‘Judas’ Mackie that was secretly spying for Genesys is a construct too, as is everyone else with that biochemical dependance on the drugs that kept them leashed to their creators. Hero Shrew: For some reason I’m more annoyed about being denied personhood because I’m a Construct, than because I’m a Moraeu. What’s worse is that the difference between template and construct is starting to take root in the Moreau community. Hardlight: Oh joy, intra-Moreau racism, wonderful. Even if Constructs aren’t people, what about their kids? Like the son of Judas Mackie, fox construct, and Tinker Kate, fox template? GM: And Kate’s got some signs of psychic ability. Hero Shrew: What, in a template? GM: Yes, psychic abilities aren’t a construct element. Hero Shrew: Huh. GM: And it’s not like they were testing for psychic abilities either - but she’s a technopath and was messing with the equipment. Hero Shrew: At some point we’re going to have to figure out which Moreaus are genetically compatible. GM: Current consensus is there’s a fun way to find out. Hardlight: Are you going to volunteer to find out, Scooter? Hero Shrew: *nod vigorously* GM: But only if Sally is involved. She’s a template incidentally. As well as a psyker. And then there’s a third option - Greenhouse Tara is a Mutate - her plant abilities aren’t a template ability, but a novel mutation. GM: A lot of the rat-Moreaus are refusing testing too. Allana: They don’t want anybody to find out they’re a hivemind. Flux: Or that they’re were-rats. You can’t tell me that any creature like that wouldn’t rush to Edge City and the Zoo. Allana: ‘We have travelled here from the Blasted Hellscapes’ ‘Ah, New Jersey’. The ECPD has made it abundantly clear that the police presence at the testing facility is for security only - they aren’t going to arrest anybody even if they have warrants out on them. The secret marine community don’t want to come forward either, understandably. That way they don’t have to explain where they came from. Although the Newfoundland-canine does want to know why the hell her breed had webbed toes even before they were Moreaus. The testing of Sandra Polis, a Moreau with the EPCD, might reveal where the hell Genesys got viable Thylacine DNA from. Hero Shrew: So, how many perps wet themselves whenever Sandra yawns? One of the Greys from the tunnels under the city does show up, when the building is otherwise mysteriously clear, to ask a few questions and express the Grey communities concerns about whatever the DNA testing might reveal. Are they actually what they believe themselves to be - Moreaus with powerful mental abilities? Allana goes to ask Dr Silverback for a private consultation, and he IS highly regarded by the Moreaus. Doctor Silverback: Is there something unusual about your anonymous friend? Allana: …. Welllllllll. If I’d met them on the street I’d never have guessed they were Moreaus. Doctor Silverback: Intriguing. They appear human? Allana: … Maybe you should meet them. Doctor Silverback: AH! Um. I see what you mean. Moreaus? Allana: They smell like Moreaus to me. Grey: And we came from the same lab. Doctor Silverback: Hmm. I was under the impression Genesys only worked from animal templates. *tests* This is puzzling. You have template markers, but I’m only finding human DNA. In fact… oh dear. Human, templated over human. And you say your people all have psychic abilities? It seems whoever created the Grey template was deliberately reinforcing certain human traits, perhaps pursuing the theory that psychic potential is an inevitable and natural part of humanity’s future. Doctor Silverback: And you believe the Moreau community will accept the ‘Grays’? Allana: Welllll … of the Moreaus that have met them, 100% like them. GM: A bigger question is what the human community will think. ‘This is probably what you’re going to turn into in a few thousand generations.’ And certain groups are going to what the Greys dead even more than they want to exterminate the animal-Moreaus. Hardlight: We need to spin this… we need to ring The Rep. Allana: Isn’t The Rep like Hardlight, a Horrible Hole in reality? Hardlight: Excuse me, I’m a “moth on the fabric of space time”, not a gaping hole, make the distinction! The Rep promptly starts spinning, framing every aspect of the Grey’s life including the various addictions they have to try and suppress their constant telepathic abilities, in a positive light. The Rep: You’re like Little Orphan Annie and ALF rolled into one, without the annoying cackle! You’ve got the big forehead and the big eyes, what does that say to you - babies! Just let me get you on screen! As long as you keep me off - wish I’d learned that lesson myself a few years back, amirite? Flux: He’s a sleaze but he’s our sleaze. He even models the ad campaign after the Orphan Children In Africa ads, taking advantage of their child-like stature, pot-bellies, and wrinkled skin. He’s that much of a sleazeball, despite being a basically good man. Lots of the names that the Moreaus’ chose for themselves are based on their professions. Hero Shrew: So Collar Colin would be just as appropriate in the police force as a sex club. Of course none of us noticed that Veronica Auberge & Elizabeth "Beth" Tonnelier were Veronica Lodge and Betty Cooper. At least there aren’t any genetic surprises like terminator genes in Moreau DNA, although there is an increased sensitivity to the long-term fertility suppressing drugs there were given. Flux: At least Moreau birth control pills will be cheap. Hero Shrew DOES want to go ask Harrier and Hawkmoth’s associates a few questions, but their secret identities are still legally protected. So it’s back to nightly patrols while we wait for our harassment of Humanity First to pay off. It’s probably not a good sign that Hardlight suddenly feels completely exhausted, to the point of passing out, mid-patrol. Hardlight: I had too much of a long night last night… *sways on his feet*... I just need to sit down for a bit. Flux: *after a quick medical check* Huh. You should be fine. GM: And that’s when the shadow looms over you. Hardlight: *looks up at the huge ogre with a giant sword* I really hope you’re friendly because I’m not in any state to deal with you right now if you aren’t. Ogre: YOU ARE THE ONES KNOWN AS QUADRANT. Flux: Two out of five aren’t bad. Ogre: YOU FOUGHT THE FURIES. Flux: Yessss? Ogre: TELL ME WHO HIRED THEM. Hardlight: I don’t think I was there for that fight. Flux? Flux: I was against letting them go, but got outvoted. Ogre: DO NOT LIE TO ME INSIGNIFICANT WORM! YOU WOULD NOT HAVE LET THEM GO IF THEY HAD NOT REVEALED THEIR EMPLOYER! Hardlight: OK fine, it was a superhero named Centurion. Flux: I’m pretty sure your code of ethics included ‘don’t be a dick’. Throwing another superhero under the bus counts. Ogre: I AM Xiǎo Lǎbā AND YOU WILL TELL ME OR I WILL RIP OUT YOUR ENTRAILS THROUGH YOUR MOUTH AND READ THE TRUTH IN THEM! Hardlight: OK, OK, do you have a Freeweb device? I’ll Airdrop you our recording of the fight. Xiǎo Lǎbā: … Webbing? Are you trying to confuse Xiǎo Lǎbā? Flux: It was probably on the news, you can see us get punted through a wall. Xiǎo Lǎbā: … they made a woodcut? Xiǎo Lǎbā: YOU WOULD NOT HAVE LET THEM GO IF THEY DID NOT TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANTED TO KNOW. Flux: Or we didn’t know they could teleport you giant dingus. Xiǎo Lǎbā: YOUR MEWLING OFFENDS ME BUT NOT AS MUCH AS YOUR INCOMPETENCE. Hero Shrew OoC: Well, he’s not alone there. Flux: Look, just watch this magic lantern show and you’ll see our incompetence on display. Xiǎo Lǎbā: HA THAT WOMAN KICKS HIM BETWEEN THE LEGS, I LIKE HER. For some reason the Ogre keeps looking over his shoulder. Fireflash is inbound, at top speed, and overshoots the city. Hero Shrew OoC: God knows how the UK copes with superheroes, given how busy their airspace is. GM: They don’t have many supers. Hero Shrew OoC: Just as well. Can you imagine how many would get sucked into jet engines? Hardlight is quietly scanning the ogre with N-rays, infra-red, and sonar. He’s not getting any pings, on any sensors. Flux: That’s awesome armour - where did you get it? Xiǎo Lǎbā: IN HONOURABLE BATTLE! Allana arrives. Xiǎo Lǎbā is immune to her two charms. Allana: The Furies were working for somebody that wants to set up the city as a Bagwa map. Xiǎo Lǎbā: THERE’S ANOTHER? I, UH, MEAN *coughs in clumsy attempt at concealing the facts* Allana: Yes. Xiǎo Lǎbā: *apparently forgetting he was here to get information, not give it* BUT IT WAS SO CLUMSILY DONE! THE DESTRUCTION SOURED THE QI IN THE AREA! DAMN THE MEWLING INCOMPETENCE OF MORTALS! Allana: We want to know as well - were they the only ones they hired? Were there other crimes? Xiǎo Lǎbā: BLAST IT ALL! Fireflash arrives: Xiǎo Lǎbā: BAH, LIGHT! YOU WERE THE ONE I WISHED TO MEET THE LEAST! SO... REPUGNANT! Fireflash: ...Lovely. Who’s Mister Charming? Flux OoC: Do any of us have any social skills? GM: Only the one still trying to get here. Hero Shrew OoC: Yep Flux: We are standing around on a street corner here. Do you want some coffee? Xiǎo Lǎbā: … I must decline your kind offer. Flux: Oh? Any reason? Xiǎo Lǎbā: … I MUST DECLINE YOUR KIND OFFER. Xiǎo Lǎbā: WHICH WOULD YOUR CITY SEND AGAINST ME! Fireflash: Well, the police for a start. Xiǎo Lǎbā: *suddenly looking worried* Police? Duly bonded forces of the law? Empowered by the magistrates? Fireflash: Well, we’re empowered by the courts too. GM: Now he looks alarmed. Xiǎo Lǎbā: Please tell me if I have contravened any of your laws! Fireflash: Well you might have to have that sword in a sheath. Xiǎo Lǎbā: Surely you are jesting. For some reason this ogre is really uncomfortable around Fireflash, does not want to accept any gifts from us, and is very keen on not actually breaking any laws. At least if he’s not brandishing the sword, he’s not violating weapon statutes. And if he gets some of the silver he’s carrying into local currency he can’t be arrested on vagrancy charges either. Fireflash: Well, we’ll get your silver assayed. Shouldn’t take long. Accomodation at the Collar Club IS a possibility, but he’d be paying by the hour. As he follows us to the hotel, he apparently forgets himself and walks right through a telegraph pole. Flux: In this city we respect the laws of physics. Allana: THE F*** WE DO. GM: Hands up everybody who’s violating causality right now. Hardlight: You’re clearly not of this world. Xiǎo Lǎbā: I AM MORE OF THIS WORLD THAN YOU ARE! Fireflash: That might actually be true. He has trouble with the colours of traffic lights too, which is odd, since he can criticise fashion choices freely. Flux is getting a better idea on what this guy actually is. He’s a Chinese Infernal, a being of pure negative Qi. Hardlight: Siri? Give me everything you have on the Celestial Bureaucracy. He’s probably get a better answer asking Centurion’s personal AI, but like that would ever happen. Hero Shrew eventually reaches the area, doubles back after the party, and is visible coming down the street with a big grin, until he sees that there isn’t a fight happening and slows to a disappointed crawl. Flux: Probably hoping one will start before he gets here. Hardlight: I was just surprised my irrational fear of unnatural darkness wasn’t triggered. GM: It wasn’t unnatural - it was a ten-foot-tall ogre with a great big sword looming over you. Hero Shrew OoC: Which is an entirely rational thing to be afraid of. But on the way to the Zoo, we have to go through Chinatown. GM: Well THAT’S going to be fun - you see a whole of people take one look at who you are with and go inside in a hurry. The only person that doesn’t get out of the way is Tabytha, the tiger-Moreau that won the martial arts contest. Tabytha: Why are you with THAT? Tabytha: You don’t know what he is, do you? Hero Shrew: Well I was hoping it would be somebody I could fight, but apparently not. Tabytha: … Why AREN’T you fighting? Xiǎo Lǎbā: *looks uncomfortable, shuffling his feet* Fireflash: He didn’t start anything. Hero Shrew: By the time I got there they’d already offered him coffee. Tabytha: *starting to grin* You’re not allowed to fight anybody unless they fight you first, aren’t you? He also has to follow the local laws, especially since we have court-appointed powers, and he can’t directly lie. ‘ Tabytha: *sigh* Well, as long as he’s only staying in the Zoo temporarily. I’ll show you a back way through Chinatown so you don’t stir up too much trouble. Hero Shrew: Well, I’M happy to follow her through town *leers* Flux: *sigh* Congratulations on the tournament win by the way. Tabytha: Whatever. The money didn’t go very far. Flux: It never does. At least we can find out which City Planning Crimes aren’t being organised by his lot, hopefully, although he seems to be under some kind of geas not to tell us too much. And for some reason anybody in the Zoo that can speak Chinese is sniggering at the demon’s name, which means ‘Little Horn’. Which is admittedly more amusing than trying to explain credit finance to an elemental. Hero Shrew: You’re from China, aren’t you? Would you be interested in some junk bonds? Allana: Every member of Quadrant but me is now banned from speaking. Well, at least we know there’s TWO groups trying to mess with the Feng Shui of Edge City. Hardlight: How do you even hire mercenaries anyway? Hero Shrew: Craigslist. Whatever is going on, we need to find out who hired the Furies. Difficult, since they operate out of Greece. GM: Whatever happens you’ll need a licence to transport livestock. Hero Shrew: Hey! Flux: Well you should shower more. Hero Shrew: *mutters* so should Allana, you know what I could get for a shower video? Or we could wait until they show up somewhere in the world and go after them. Or even better, hire them to go somewhere we could ambush them.

There’s a giant shining pyramid hovering 500ft over Wati. Onka: Oh good, it’s in range of an Anti-Magic field. Zenobia: What I want to know is where he was hiding that - I can’t think of anywhere on this plane where he could have hidden a giant golden pyramid and no-one would have stumbled across it in the last few thousand years. Onka: Space? Zenobia: I’m pretty sure the astrologers would have noticed a giant golden pyramid floating past. Onka: Floating in an invisibility field? Zenobia: OK, that would do it. Onka: We would have had more downtime if we’d just walked back across the desert. Now we have to deal with this s***. Zenobia: Why would he bring it here, anyway? Wati is not that important. He can’t have brought it here just to get revenge on us, since he has no idea who we are. Why not go to the new capitol, or the old one? Onka: We do still have his mask. Zenobia: Then he should have flown the pyramid out into the desert, where we were until 50 seconds ago. Maybe he wants to find out what happened to his necromantic fountain. The pyramid is casting a shadow, both literal and spiritual, over the city. It’s also inscribed with a sigil, not of the Forgotten Pharaoh, but of one of his generals, one Isatemkhebet. Onka: Does it have a giant death laser? GM: Of course. Nemat: If this is just his general does that mean he has more than one of these things? Onka: One strategically placed Anti-magic field and it’ll fall out of the sky. Admittedly onto the city. GM: Oh please, it’s Shory Magitech, it won’t be that easy. Peanut Gallery: Cast Greater Darkness over it and cut off its solar power supply. Isatemkhebet: City of Wati! Cast aside Weapon and Tool, Armor and Cloth, for you cower before Isatemkhebet, General of the Sky Pharoah! Witness the power of the Five Pointed Sun! *Giant laser beam fires from the top of the pyramid, blasting a 200-foot wide crater in the city* The Sky Pharoah has one demand! Bring onto us the Covenant of Wati! You have one week to comply, or your city shall be destroyed! Onka: Well, piss. Just as well we’re at the temple of Sarenrae - they’re less likely to rat us out. Everybody inside. GM: Why are you assuming half the city will want to hand you over? Onka: Human nature. Asrian: We DID end the undead scourge - we’re heroes. Zenobia: The general is also assuming we don’t just hand ourselves in to protect the town. We receive a Sending from Ptenemib, a gentlemen we rescued from the cult weeks ago. Ptenemib: There’s a giant floating pyramid over Wati and it’s demanding we hand your party over or it will destroy the town! Zenobia: *taps Ptenemib on the shoulder* Ptenemib: EEP! Asrian: We’re aware. Zenobia: I take it the writer wasn’t expecting the party to teleport straight back to town. Ptenemib rushes us off to a safehouse before anybody recognises us. There are also undead harpies flying around, so flying up to the pyramid early and sabotaging stuff won’t be easy. Peanut Gallery: And the harpies aren’t being shot down by anybody with a bow, why? Onka: Giant death laser. The Desecrate effect of the pyramid’s shadow is a problem, too. Using Control Weather to make it overcast so there’s no shadow probably won’t help. At least the Consecrations on the many temples in town should hold. A lot of people are fleeing town, but the harpies aren’t harassing them - but they ARE checking that none of them are the party members. Zenobia: We need to tell your family you’re alive. Hmm. But then they’ll be worried about you being handed over to the pyramid. Onka: ‘Hi mum and dad, I’m alive, this is my girlfriend, we’re going into the death pyramid, I love you, bye.” At least we have a week to buy scrolls of Fly, and anything else that might be useful for sabotaging the pyramid. And we DO have that map to a possible Anti-Shory weapon, that we found in Chessisek’s tomb. Can we retrieve it within a week? Zenobia OoC: We can always use one of those magical feathers and send the general a message saying ‘We heard you’re looking for us, we’re in the capitol’ and make it somebody else’s problem. Asrian doesn’t see the point of the spell Switch Souls, which enables the caster to swap souls with their familiar - especially since bards don’t get familiars. And the bodies are just as vulnerable as the animal was originally. Zenobia OoC: Clearly the spell was invented by a pervert druid. GM: Pervert wizard. At the suggestion of pervert druid. Peanut Gallery: Pervert druids invented Wild Shape. So, time to cast Speak With Dead on the spirit of that dead architect we recovered. Onka has been keeping his sarcophagus shrunk and in his pocket. Onka: Time to interrogate the tiny dead guy. Onka wears the Pharaoh's Mask, just in case, before casting the spell. Chessisek: Who dares wake the dead? You are not the Pharaoh Hakotep. You wear his Ka, but you are not him. Onka: Where is the Anti-Shory Weapon? Chessisek: Weapon? They called it a weapon? HAha ha ha ha. Tis not a weapon. Tis an apocalypse. You wished to know the whereabouts of Hakotep’s tomb? Onka: That wasn’t an answer. Peanut Gallery: Yes it was. Onka: Oh dear. Chessisek: You seek the *chokes trying to pronounce the jargon and language* Onka: Do you need a drink, what do the dead drink anyway? Chessisek: My apologies, my throat is a bit dry. I AM a corpse. Chessisek is quite boastful about all the effort he put into launching the Sky Pharaoh’s tomb into space, promptly followed by the flying pyramids of all his generals, and how elaborate the mechanisms were that launched them all, and can call them back, and how it’s warded against Divination and Observation. Peanut Gallery: But not warded against Greater Teleportation. All: .... Chessisek: Trenchs? Trenches! The Khepsutanem is much more than ditches and mounds of earth. Hundreds of obelisks, each containing a bound elemental spirit, adorn the paths of the Khepsutanem. Among these stand 11 great monuments,each infused with the spirit of a particularly powerful elemental. These 11 monuments are the Sekrepheres, and they must be activated in the proper order between the hours of dawn and noon on a single day to focus their energies upon the Sun Disk plaza, which can in turn call down Hakotep’s tomb. Zenobia: Does this actually help us with the pyramid flying over Wati? Onka: Eventually. Peanut Gallery: The general has one flying pyramid, so you steal his bosses even bigger one. Onka: Can we just turn the gain up on the launchpad and push Hakotep’s Tomb out into the Outer Planes and let the Great Old Ones deal with him? It looks like dealing with the launchpad is going to take well over a week. It seems like we’ll have to deal with the one here ourselves. And using Anti-magic or Disjunction to cancel its levitation would crush most of the town. Zenobia: My future in-laws live here! Of course we can always teleport to a larger city to avoid being recognised, and have a wider range of stuff to buy, before we teleport back. Avoids the harpies too. Onka purchases a permanent timeless demiplane. This is going to be quite useful for his crafting of items, and popping into, casting all his buffs, and back out to rejoin the fight. And if Zenobia learns Plane Shift we can use it as in instant hospital. Although we all get hit with the ageing when we come out again, so Onka is going to be going through a bunch of birthdays in rapid succession. GM: … I just let a PC have access to the Hyperbolic Time Chamber We return to Wati, kitted out the wazoo, do some telescopic surveillance on the pyramid to spot any entrance points, and fly up, invisible, with featherfall potions and magic parasols ready, at high noon. Happily, undead harpies can’t see invisible things. Unfortunately one of the ones guarding the door turns at an inopportune moment and its wing brushes Zenobia. Battle commences! And the harpies variously shatter or drop their weapons. Asrian, as usual, goes through them like a Tomahawk missile through soft butter. The entrance chamber has a incomplete mural proclaiming that ‘those who gave the gift of uncompromised service to the sky pharaoh are known to him and blessed with BLANK’. And the room is lined to the ceiling with magical traps. Happily we’re smart enough to figure out where the disabling mechanism is, and discover that the BLANK is ‘Death’. Although you do have to wonder why you’d set it up with traps that do double damage to your own minions. Nemat also deciphers later warning inscriptions too. Nemat OoC: I’m finally accepting that I’m an archeologist who is exceptionally good at thumping people. Zenobia OoC: *quietly sings the Indiana Jones theme* Happily we can still fly over most of the traps, and Nemat also has Tomb Sight. With that, Detect Magic, and Detect Undead, we can avoid nearly everything. Especially once Nemat realises that a lot of the directions inscribed on the walls are deliberately misleading. It also seems that the general might be a woman, despite the voice broadcast over Wati. We sabotage various defences as we go. Nemat: At least I have a good copy of the fake map to put in the Chronicles. Especially now I know what you get paid for chronicles - highest challenge rating x 100. Zenobia: A good reason to publish in installments. Things get weird when one corridor apparently leads into open air. At night. And we’re apparently high over the clouds. But of course Nemat has an orrery and a cosmogram and other astrological instruments in one of his bags of holding, and starts comparing the stars to what they should be. They’re thousands of years out of date. Of course the Pharaoh has his own planetarium. Onka: Wow, everything in this pyramid really is ‘Me Me Me’ isn’t it? Nemat: Onka, you HAVE been in pyramids before. Peanut Gallery: So how thick do you want the doors to be, to stop the PCs using magic to look through everything? Nemat OoC: No no no, just coat them in gold - a little Dutch filigree and we’re f***ed GM: The floor turns Ethereal and you fall 10ft. All: No we don’t. GM: Godammit, the writers assume you fly up to the pyramid, but half these traps assume you’re walking around when you get there! The Black Pudding in the pit trap is certainly ravenous, so it’s probably just as well we’re still bobbing around like helium balloons. Zenobia OoC: Anything we need to know about Black Puddings? Peanut Gallery: Depends on how well you can pass a Knowledge Check. Nemat OoC: No no, I am an Inquisitor, I am the God of ‘Wot Dat?’ Nemat casts Dispel Magic on the floor and turns it solid again. GM: The Black Pudding has been magically sustained for thousands of years, starving, and you just showed yourself as food and then sealed it away again. Nemat: I’ll try to feel sorry for the mindless blob. But honestly, there are fungi smarter than these things. Zenobia OoC: Do Not Taunt The Happy Fun Blob. One of the next rooms looks like some kind of light puzzle, but the room reeks of necromantic magic. We debate resealing the door and pressing on. Zenobia: There’s no GOOD reason why the room would be full of necromantic energy. We seal the door and press on. GM: Adventurers generally investigate this sort of thing. Nemat: We’re archeologists. Well-armed archeologists, but still. Onka: We may be the owners of this pyramid soon, stop breaking our stuff. We find a statue of Hakotep, too. It tries to curse us, and we loot it for the Immovable Rods holding it off the ground. Zenobia: So this is the face we’re punching later? Nemat: Maybe. But especially if he starts looking like this again, because then we have to punch him hard and fast. The statue falls to the floor with a noise and impact no doubt audible throughout the entire pyramid. Nemat: Well, that IS what’s coming - DOOM. Another reason to punch the Sky Pharoah in the snoot - a gallery of what are probably real people, turned to stone, and then had their faces ‘corrected’ with the spell Stoneshape. Restoring any of them is going to take some high-end spells. We do find a Rod of Splendor, which among other things can create a magnificent tent pavilion that can house 100 people. Zenobia to Asrian: Well, I know what we’re doing for our wedding… of course I have to get permission from your parents first. I don’t recommend asking mine. Onka: If we can even find them. The next fight is brutal, despite the fact we dealt with the same kind of creatures earlier. Asrian and Nemat both lose fingers, and need emergency Healing from Zenobia to survive. In fact, it was only Onka’s Revenant Armour spell on the partie’s stuff, Zenobia’s Stone Shape, catching the last harpy in a big stone fist, that ensures the party survives at all. Zenobia: So now we get out swords and knives out, find the gaps between the big stone fingers, and poke poke poke. Asrian: Make a hole. Onka: We have that Adamantium auger too. Drill a hole. Asrian: Why stop drilling? Onka OoC: XP probably won’t be relevant until we get out of the pyramid. Assuming we get out alive. Which we will because Overland Flight is awesome We’d still like to take the flying pyramid intact, of course - there’s so much interesting stuff to loot. Such as the tomb of Isatemkhebet, currently occupied by someone inclined to monologue. She certainly doesn’t have the distinctly male voice that threatened the town earlier. Isatemkhebet: Finally, you have arrived, Covenant of Wati. It would be an honor to add your forms to my gallery, as I did with the Sekpatras so long ago... Your meddling in Hakotep's affairs is over! Kor-Ahn-Tuk, Charge the leader! Nemat: At least she got our name right. Unfortunately she has a pet Gorgon. Fortunately, Nemat is already partly stone. Nemat OoC: *deep inhale* Alreaady stoooooned, maaan. Hilariously, Isatemkhebet is also the only one that succumbs to the harpy’s song. Unfortunately she's undead so it has no effect. Isatemkhebet: Not me, you fool! After we destroy her minions, she tries to take cover inside a sarcophagus. Which is unfortunate for her. Nemat: As much as I’d like to make an undead feel fear for the first time in centuries, as I slowly chip away through the stone between it and me… Zenobia? Open the way. Zenobia: *casts Shape Stone* GM: The lid of the sarcophagus melts away. The general looks rather shocked. Nemat: B****, we’re the Covenant of Wati. Zenobia: I could have opened a small hole and started pouring in holy water - I’ve got 25 flasks in the haversack. Unfortunately she’s a load-bearing boss - when we kill her the pyramid starts falling out of the sky. We scatter to try and find the control room before it crushes half of the town. Just as well we still have Overland Flight running - some of us aren’t very fast on the ground. It’s also very fortunate that Nemat is basically a Combat Archeologist, and can accurately guess where the control room should be. Happily the mechanism seems straightforward enough, and we redirect the fall to somewhere outside town, while we use Onka’s pre-prepared Teleport to get us all the hell out of there before it hits. We watch it plow a giant divot into the onion fields, Nemat wincing as he watches all that invaluable archeology get smashed to pieces. Onka: It’s ok, we know Make Whole. Asrian: Yes, just look at the hole we made in the onion fields. Nemat is even more annoyed by the fact that by the time he can come back to investigate the wreckage properly, it’ll have been looted, and relics and fake relics scattered across half the continent. Onka has his own plan. Onka: ‘Dear Royal Highness, I apologise for the pyramid illegally parked outside Wati, I’ll be back to deal with it someday. Signed Onka’ Nemat: Oh f*** off, you already have a private dimension, you’re not getting a flying pyramid too. GM: You have dealt a dire blow to the evil that was Ancient Osirion! *plays Imperial March* Nemat: Fair call. Humanocentric empire. Asrian: And they had a Death Star. GM: And somewhere else one of twelve lights on a magical display blinks out, and a mummified fist slams down on the arm of a throne. Nemat OoC: Sounds to me like we have 11 more chances to get our own flying pyramid.

Down here in Perth I haven't seen any toilet paper in the stores for weeks. Fortunately, my work means I can avoid going near or even talking to people, which is just as well since I doubt my asthma and COVID-19 are a good combination, especially since I've already had a bad cough and repeated throat infections since December. Unfortunately, my wife is a school teacher, and it's impossible to keep the little stench-goblins away from each other, and our idiotic government refuses to close the schools claiming it would be too hard for any health-worker parents to find child care, and "education is important".

Champions : Return to Edge City : Granny Kickass Hero Shrew: I’ve stopped smashing as many walls when I fight, so I am taking that career advice I got to heart. Admittedly, I did try to smash Killzone with a park bench, but... Flux: Well, you were drugged to the eyeballs at the time. GM: That excuse will only work so many times. The problem this week is a jurisdictional one, specifically a hearing on who gets first dibs on the members of the psychic supervillain team PSI, who we’ve had a run-in with before, although the member we actually caught got away. The twist is that Hypnos’ mother Wanda Vanderschaff was a supervillain and has gone missing from the retirement home she was living at. This has also surprised Hypnos who had no idea his mum was ever a villain. GM: The superhuman community assumed she had retired because her powers were fading. The staff of the Assisted Living community certainly saw no sign of her superpowers, except perhaps in her alcohol consumption. Naturally everybody is expecting some kind of attack on the hearing, even if it’s a rival group trying to take out PSI while they’re in one place. Hero Shrew: Is there anything we need to know about her if she DOES show up at the hearing? Osteoporosis or anything? GM: No, she was a very active woman for her age. Flux: Minor Brick? GM: Used to be. Hero Shrew: Oh good, I can punch her with snapping her spine then. Flux, Allana, etc: NO GM: SHE’S A LITTLE OLD LADY. You could kill her with Casual Strength. Allana: She’s probably dosed herself with something to restore her powers. Flux: Alcohol-fuelled superpowers, oh goody. The members of Quadrant have been asked to stay away for the day of the hearing, probably because there’s no point actually asking for trouble. We loiter a suburb away, instead, and happily our Crime Computer isn’t fooled by whatever goes down at the courthouse. Hardlight: I finish my coffee and nip into the lavatory to change into my costume. Hero Shrew OoC: ‘the coffee’s not that bad’ GM: And Gareth is a minor celebrity - it’s going to go out on social media that Gareth Lowell has a weak bladder, from all the times he’s seen drinking coffee and suddenly running off into toilets. We converge on the courthouse, although while the Crime Computer says trouble is imminent, the rest of the media, Moreau guards, ECPD etc aren’t reporting anything unusual. Hero Shrew: The building doesn’t seem to be on fire or anything? Flux: It’s an invisible fire. Hero Shrew: Do we need invisible firefighters? Flux: They’re already here - they’re invisible. Hero Shrew: OK then Hardlight scans the area with radar and sonar, just in case. There’s a group of three people he can see just fine, but his radar sweeps right through them. Hero Shrew: Not invisible firefighters then. Hardlight: No. Exact opposite really. They’re not showing up on video footage either. We should probably tell Gun, the Thylacine sniper with the ECPD, and the Edge City police themselves, about these Persons of Interest. Allana: Hey, there’s three people opposite the courthouse that show up for Mk I Eyeballs and nothing else. None of them seem to be Granny Kickass, at least at first glance. But one of them might be her, better known as Doctor Bedlam, if she somehow de-aged herself a bit and spent a few months at the gym. We probably SHOULDN’T send a baseline human cop over to have a word. Hero Shrew: Maybe she only showed up to see her brat son get what she deserved. Three armoured convoys leave the building - only one of them actually carries the members of PSI, and we haven’t been told which, of course. Hardlight: I wonder if I should do something stupid. Allana: Hardlight, this is the rest of the team. Don’t do anything. You’ve been quiet for five minutes and we know what that means. We wait to see which convoy the trio follows. As it turns out, none of them, and they turn to leave on foot. Scooter follows the second convoy in the Qruiser, just in case. Allana and Fireflash move to apprehend Dr Bedlam and her associates, just in case. Hardlight: So we are doing the stupid thing. At least we have grounds to arrest her. GM: Put it this way - she’s not wanted for armed robbery. In Alaska. Fireflash: Doctor Bedlam, by the power invested in me by the State of California, we are taking you into custody. Please come quietly. Dr Bedlam: I didn’t slap around Sebastian Poe for his formula, just to come quietly. Hero Shrew does a quick U-turn and hurries back. It’s just as well Flux worked out some Psi-blocking stuff earlier, because we’re probably going to need it. Dr Bedlam’s associate with the sidecut haircut apparently has morphing armour under their street clothes, and can also turn invisible. They apparently also know that Fireflash is quite vulnerable to Stun attacks when she doesn’t have her forcefield up. Unfortunately for the bad guys, invisibility doesn’t work against Allana’s sonar. Hero Shrew: I attempt a Grab By on the GILF GM: YOU try finding a picture of an Amazonian GILF that isn’t porn or Queen Hippolyta. The third bad guy is another member of PSI, but something of a second-stringer. That doesn’t stop telepathically broadcast pain from being quite effective. He’s probably in Edge City for two reasons - whatever Dr Bedlam intended, and getting a cyber-implant to control his own agony. Dr Bedlam: Hold on there tiger, you can always take me out for dinner first. Hero Shrew: I’m a shrew, not a tiger. Dr Bedlam breaks the hold Scooter has on her arms, and contemptuously flicks him in the face. Evidently her power-set includes superhuman strength, because she destroys the psychic defence trinket Flux made for him. Dr Bedlam: Let’s get rid of this nasty thing. And now there’s screaming from back in the direction of the courthouse too. Flux teleports over to see how badly we’ve been distracted. There’s a bunch of killbots marching towards the building. Hardlight: Scooter! Go help Flux! Ok, old lady, let’s see how you like this! PHOTON WAVE CANNON! At least Scooter will be further away from whatever psychic bulls*** they have planned. Flux: Oh, so Hardlight’s order was actually deliberate. Dr Bedlam: I’m here for my boy and my boy alone. The rest can go rot. The longer this takes the longer Mayhem gets to play. Hardlight: You can join him soon enough! *PEWPEWPEW* There IS a Simon in the crowd near the courthouse, but it’s the Moreau community leader, not the psi-criminal. He’s doing a good job of directing the crowd away from robots, but that MIGHT be because he has his own psi-ability and is using it. Scooter punches one of the robots, tearing off the armour - and revealing it’s a perfectly ordinary industrial robot. They can’t even HARM humans. Clearly they’re a distraction. At least the bad guy rescue squad doesn’t last much longer, although we don’t know exactly how many members are hiding elsewhere. Hero Shrew: Just as well I checked the robots were too skinny to have people inside. Although I suppose they might have been powered by puppies on treadmills or something. At least we stopped Hypnos from being broken out. Flux: That’s because ClueBat did her job and hit the technomage, and I actually prepared psychic defences for us in advance. And Simon can speak to the media and explain that of course the Moreaus are interested in cases involving psychic abilities (since so many of us have psychic abilities). But none of that stops Dr Bedlam, Hypnos, and other PSI members escaping a few days later, somehow, despite all the precautions taken, like the actual key not being on the premises, and delayed camera feeds to frustrate technopaths. Apparently their guards thought it would be a good idea to open the cells.